Chapter Text
“He is manipulating us,” I hiss, looking around to make sure Joseph hasn’t followed us from the other room. I catch Jacob’s hand as he traces the scars of ‘Vanity’ carved below my collarbone next to the Eden’s Gate cross inked into the front of my left shoulder. “You can’t do this to people against their will,” I whisper, stepping closer to him. “I know you are good at it, but that doesn’t make it right.”
“We have to make sacrifices to save people,” he says, voice gruff.
“Sacrifice what? Our morality? I will not do what Joseph is asking,” I say, grabbing the front of Jacob’s army jacket desperately. “Turning people into mindless drones because they won’t listen to him is not what I created the Bliss to do, especially to people we claim to be our friends.”
“Baby, I can’t tell my brother no,” Jacob sighs. “We will do what we need to do. We need strong survivors. The weak who can’t provide something to our cause or who outright refuse to see reason do not deserve to enter into the fold. I hope Eli will see reason, but if he doesn’t—”
“You’ll cull the herd? Sacrifice that which isn’t worthy? All life has meaning,” I say, my hand instinctively going to my swollen belly as tears well up in my eyes. “The man I married wouldn’t kill so recklessly,” I say. After a moment, I finally come to a decision. One I have spent weeks pondering. “I can’t do this. I believe in Joseph’s Word, but I can’t force others to believe in it.” I take a deep breath. “And I won’t raise a child in this violence. I know how to survive.”
Jacob hesitates, brows furrowing. “What are you saying, Evie?” he asks, following me as I retreat backward, his hand reaching for his unborn child.
Tears spill down my face. “I want out,” I say, bumping against the door frame as his hand finds my stomach. His touch is gentle but claiming.
Jacob looks up, and my heart starts racing as Joseph approaches. “What was that?” Joseph asks in that too calm voice of his. The scars and tattoos on his body are on full display on his bare torso. The fresh tattoos of twin sparrows on either side of his collarbone are red and inflamed, freshly marked into his skin by John.
I stare into Jacob’s eyes and take a deep breath. I lift my chin and turn to face Joseph. “Find yourself another Faith. I’m not turning people into zombie slave labor.”
“You will not do what needs to be done to prepare our family for the Collapse?” he asks, tilting his head in question. “Those who refuse to see the light can still be useful.”
I shake my head. “Not like this. This isn’t the right way,” I say. “I’m sorry.” Jacob stands frozen in shock as I push past Joseph, ignoring John’s questioning gaze.
“Do you not believe in God?” Joseph asks. I stop at the door of the ranch house.
“I believe in what’s coming, but I guess I don’t have the faith to carry out what you are asking me to do,” I say as something breaks in me. “This isn’t God’s way. It’s yours.”
“Evie!” Jacob calls, but I don’t stop. I slip into the driver’s seat of Jacob’s truck, catching sight of Joseph holding him at bay with both hands on his shoulders as he speaks quickly.
Jacob looks over Joseph’s shoulder to meet my gaze one more time, but he doesn’t come to me. Despite everything we have been through, he chooses Joseph. I pull out of the driveway, never looking back.