Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"I find you, you’re the brightest part
of my youth, I know"

☆

Nobody could blame him for finding out their fans' business, it was all over their social media every time he checked it, and he is not oblivious to the clear excitement that they show just from seeing their teasing affection for each other. So when he brought up the topic of fancalls and started ranting about it in his personal life, the least thing he expected was to be scolded by his own fans about intruding on their reserved spaces.

Not like he cares enough, otherwise, it would only motivate him more to keep messing around with them. It was actually hilarious to read everything they had to say and how serious they were about their crazy analysis. At some point, he considered reflecting on himself but discarded it at the moment because it just didn't make sense that a person who didn't even know him personally could see right through him and notice things he was not aware of. In his mind he could already plan all types of acts that will cause loud screams and multiple flashes shooting at the same time.

His own preference led him to attach to their assigned skin-showing members, it's not what he said to justify how normal it is to feel thirsty at the sight of other men's bodies, especially when said men have some of the most sculpted muscles he had ever seen and touched. He goes around feeling more free than ever and rubbing his face on Jaemin's chest, at the next moment he is hanging from strong arms and hearing polite complaints from Jeno. Nobody looks more disturbed than usual, and he really loves what his life is about.

The thing is, just as his members and staff have not raised a single eyebrow from his behavior, their fans are also used to this view, and after scrolling through some posts, the only conclusion they have is that Chenle should rethink to what point it is normal to have an obsession with men's bodies while being sure of his heterosexuality.

Just foolish, not the overwhelming heat he craved. He started to rethink his options, and for a minute the idea of moving to the members, whom he is not usually clingy to and would actually spread some confusion, seemed like the right choice, but it still didn't seem like the right choice.

Then he realized it. How could he forget it when it was the main thing he seeks when a fancaller looks a little too into him and certain other members together, or just the minimal like of things that encapsulate their traits? His mind floods with shy smiles, clumsy accidents, eyes covered by a layer of fluffy hair, and the weirdest balance between excited talks and the calm temper of falling leaves. The person the universe so kindly decided to gift him with, sweet, awkward Jisung, is still learning how to navigate life. His best friend and soulmate, who everyone swears met by nothing more than destiny itself, wanted to intertwine their strings so they could stay together forever.

The person who the fans will effusively talk about how perfect a match they form, how just standing next to each other paints the most beautiful scene, and how they probably needed and wanted each other in ways that are concerning to normal friendships. It was a perfectly crafted path, he will just play more of his push and pull. The younger is used to that dynamic and will not expect him to make the first moves. Their fans, more than anyone, would be ultimately lost at why he would be so open and vocal about wanting their maknae when he would normally choose a rock over him just to see a frown on the other's face.

But clearly, to himself, it will all just be an act, he is a performer, and even if his idol image couldn't be more irrelevant to his priorities, the chinese for sure know how to pretend. It's just that he doesn't feel the need to do it, at least not before being addicted to the sugar rush that drives him when he is acting more flirty with his members. It's probably the only type of fanservice he is willing to do; the mere thought of feeding delusional boyfriend roles makes him want to throw up.

But touching his members never felt wrong; it comes naturally to people who are around you all the time, although he admits being surrounded by Jisung always felt different from the others. When they were younger, everything was easier; he didn't even need to overthink it. He would hug the other from the back, get used to his scent, and nobody would interrupt him. But after years it's himself who's stopping him from sitting too close to the other, from exploring places that fill his nerves with electricity, because he never knows when it's too much, and Jisung feels so fragile under his touch.

It shouldn't make sense because the younger is a lot bigger than him, but Chenle has always grown faster, not in height but in being an adult, even if the maknae would immediately disagree and talk about how he is one of the most mature members, which maybe he is. Jisung is wiser than people tend to believe, he is incredibly overprotective and supportive of their team, always seeking the best for them.

He once heard Mark say to the younger how cute he was acting like a little leader, and the flushed cheeks from the other consolidated his own agreement to it. He sometimes wonders if the root of the younger's careful behavior is the result of seeing his team almost fall apart without being able to do anything to keep them together. He was there, whispering assuring words and gently holding him from breaking when tears couldn't stop falling, even when he himself was barely a year older and didn't have proof that secured their future.

He remembers the nights when he received calls from the members, rotating between who would guide his maknae to find calm and sleep. Since then, he still can't forgive their company, but he promised nobody would ever pressure his flame mate to run faster than he can; the younger shouldn't receive anything but patient and silent waiting until he is ready, until he doesn't fear and can finally bloom as he was supposed to.

A little voice that sounds disturbingly similar to Renjun whispers that giving sudden spoiling to their maknae isn't protecting him. But just like a lot of his unrequested thoughts, he shut it down and continued with his plan. Jisung wouldn't be mad about it after all; he knows that deep down the younger loves to feel the attention on himself. Surely he didn't know how to handle it and would end with himself writhing in embarrassment and covering his face. But that didn't mean Jisung disliked having others caressing him. If he really hated it, then the maknae wouldn't be begging Jaemin to cook for him or chasing Jeno when he is in the mood to play games. He wouldn't light up at every compliment that their hyungs told to him.

So Chenle feels safe to say that Jisung would be pleasantly surprised with a new source of adoration around him.

☆

Jisung has no idea what got into his best friend, he's been more unusually weird than ever. Every behavior tells him to be alarmed and consider discussing with the other members if a doctor could be necessary if he continues to act like that. Now, Jisung is used to the chinese being jokingly indifferent to him, from changing dance partners to choosing his favorite basketball player over him. That's the standard normality for Chenle, but instead these days he is doing the complete opposite of it.

When Jisung says he forgot his jacket and now he is freezing outside the company because he decided again to not use anything under his plaid shirt, the only thing he expects from the other members is their collective sighs and telling him to wait a little more for the van that is going to drive them to their respective apartments.

Nobody could prepare him to feel small hands around his waist and a soft pressure covering his back, even less because he could instantly recognize the slightly citric scent mixed with sweat from the just-finished dance practice. Chenle was hugging him and taking his coldness away, warm breathing fanning his neck. He could feel himself tensing, looking around to see if any of the members noticed the chinese rubbing him like a cat.

After not getting any reaction, the peace grew in his chest, and he let himself enjoy the moment; it's probably a one-time thing, and it's not going to repeat soon. Even if he wanted it more than anything. Jisung had been in love with the older for ages, and he already accepted that it's better to have him like this than like anything.

Because Chenle is straight, and even if he liked boys, Jisung wouldn't be his first option to go to. He had been there, listening when the other would talk excitedly about how his latest date went, describing how pretty the girls he saw in a club were; hell, he even had to hear about the other's first time, which was obviously not with Jisung, because Chenle was so joyful he needed to tell it in a group session talk.

At least the others were as mortified as him, and he didn't need to act like he was happy for him. Not when he always wanted to be in that spot, when the tiniest part of him wanted to treasure the possibility of the other one day returning his feelings and making him his first. Because Jisung waited, even if he buried his last flame of hope the day Chenle told him he thought one of the girls he metwas like no other person he had dated before.

He is still waiting, only that it's not with his romantic yearning of love, it's just because he couldn't imagine himself giving his all to another person who wasn't him, and he tried, he really tried to get over it. He went to clubs even when it was not his type of ambiance, wishing to find somebody who could make him forget about everything. But the only thing he got was uncomfortable looks and hands that felt so wrong it made him sick, he couldn't stay any longer there.

That was his first and last time trying to get over Chenle. He still remembers how afraid he felt waiting for Jeno to come for him and how fast he folded in the other arms, crying and finally telling his feelings to someone. He feels sorry for himself when he gets disturbed by his own memories of his shaking voice asking why he could be loved and why the only person he wanted wouldn't look in his direction and feel something more than friendly affection.

Jeno was an angel and nice enough to not mention that night again, only assuring him that his secret was safe and he could always talk to him about it if he needed to again, that he shouldn't restrain all his pain to himself. He cried again that morning, feeling so loving and thankful for having his members by his side, reaffirming that apart from his family, they were the only people he would ever trust with his life, and that's exactly why he couldn't lose Chenle for some unrequited feelings.

Everything came easier by time; he didn't get overly sad every time the older mentioned his lovers' names, he didn't try to be noticed by the other, and he didn't get nervous around him because Chenle wasn't even that touchy with him anymore, and it was okay. He would take what was given to him; watching him smile and seeing the most unfiltered version of the other was enough. The selfish part of him thinks that even if the chinese get married one day, Jisung would still be his soulmate, at least for him, it would.

So he takes it calmly, nothing is going to change. It has not changed since they met, and Jisung has learned how to handle it by now.

☆

It does not stop there.

Suddenly every time they were together he could feel the other's presence everywhere: careless fingers tracing patterns on his thighs, whispered words that had no right being so close to his skin, sweet praises even for doing the bare minimum, and loving eyes that he couldn't dream of imagining being directed to him. It was too much to handle. He wasn't ready for this treatment, and the way the other members were slowly catching up to the scene didn't help, because now they will give them suggestive looks and teasing noises every time they are close.

It wasn't fair; he had already left any hope of having this to himself. Chenle couldn't wake up one day and choose Jisung as the object of his attention. It wasn't fair; the other knew he had the power to leave him shivering with desire while being completely unaffected by it. His feelings are starting to overwhelm him again, and his steps lead him to his safest choice, knocking quietly on the door.

"Renjun hyung?"

He was afraid the other was already asleep after their tiring schedule; he was pondering if it really was bad enough to disturb the older, but he couldn't survive another day with the mixed signals and nobody to open up to. Jeno was also an option, but his intuition told him it was better to go with the only other chinese in the team, because his hyung loves Chenle, but everyone knows Jisung is Renjun's favorite, and the older always makes him feel like everything will be alright, even when the circumstances are threatening, and that's all he needed for this night. He needed to feel loved without the confusion that comes right after his painfully straight best friend acts strangely attached to him.

"Jijongie?" The door opens, and the sleepy gaze in the other almost makes him feel guilty; he couldn't have time to apologize before soft arms dragged him into the room.

"Sungie, what happened? Why are you crying?" He let out a small sob; he couldn't remember why he came here. He just needed to feel sure for once.

"I-It's just, I—" The older stopped him with a gentle finger. "It's okay, just breathe for me, please." He doesn't know in what moment they were already in the chinese bed, lights on, making his mind less fuzzy.

"Is it about Chenle?" The other's words are said with extreme care, a worried expression that makes him feel validated and not crazy about how different these past weeks have been. "Do you notice it too?" He still needs to hear the reassurance that his love is not making him imagine things.

"Babe, at this point I think even the staff noticed." The small smile in the older lightens the mood a lot, and Jisung feels again very thankful for the team he cherishes. "It's so weird; it's not very Chenle at all." He finally can express what has him losing sleep at nights.

"Well, Chenle being obsessed about you is not weird; him actually acting about it in front of you is," Renjun's voice started to sound tired? "If only you heard the things he said when he thinks nobody is going to judge him. No, Chenle, not everyone thinks about Jisung when they look at the stars; that's only you," he recites the words like he is already done with trying to convince someone that they are surely wrong because Renjun is, of course, always right.

A bright red paint the maknae's cheeks after processing what the other said, "He said that?" The sight that leaves the other's mouth should be more concerning than hopeful, but this is all Jisung ever wanted. Maybe his love is not as undesired as he thought? "That and worse. When I saw you two like that, I wondered if you finally figured it out, and one day I will stumble upon Chenle cornering you in the kitchen while making out."

If the younger was not blushing enough, now he probably looks like a whole bright red signal. "I—I, we didn't do anything. Chenle didn't even talk about it to me." His frustration filtered through his words, remembering why he didn't throw himself at his crush the moment he felt the tension between them.

"When I tried to mention it, he always changes the topic, and it led to nothing, and when I asked if I could go to his place, he said he was, uh, busy." He used his hands to express the best he could the noises he didn't want to hear and the clear hickeys that adorned all around the youngest Chinese neck today, his last straw to all the mixed signals he was getting.

"Oh," now Renjun's face has a frown, and the joyful tone leaves his voice. "I didn't notice that. That's actually weird. I really thought Chenle finally realized his feelings and was trying to win your heart or whatever his mind does when he is in love." He didn't expect those words from the other; a part of him wanted to believe his best friend was just very oblivious, but that dream closed years ago.

"I was just really confused, you know? I wanted to be sure that it was not only a product of my feelings projecting." He actually got more confusion from this talk, but at the same time, he feels a lot more relieved. "I could try to talk to him if it's bothering you too much. I would not mention what you said; I will just question his behavior." "You would?" He jumps to hug the other, accidentally knocking them both down. He forgot how small the older is.

"Thank you so much, Injunnie hyung"

"Of course, anything to have that pretty mind of yours in peace." Renjun covers him with the sheets and lets him rest on his shoulder. "I love you, Ji. Thank you for trusting me." And with those words, they slowly fall into quiet sighs and sleepy eyes.

☆

Chenle didn't expect to be called this early in the morning; he is still feeding breakfast to Daegal when his phone starts to ring, Renjun's name covering the screen.

"Hi?" confusion and morning tiredness sneak into his voice. "Finally you answer! I called you all morning, you know what time it is? Doesn't matter, I'm alone at the dorms, come here fast or you will have problems, and you know I always keep my threats"

After that, I only heard the sound of the call being hung up. Why would Renjun want to see him now and because he is alone? He throws away his confusion and finishes his own breakfast. The older could look so cute to their fans, but he is someone to actually fear, especially when he sounds as annoyed as he was on the call

•

When he enters the dorm, he instantly knows Renjun wasn't lying, it's too quiet to have anyone there, even if Jeno and Jisung were the quiet type.

"So, you came," like some investigation movie; the older one is waiting for him, sitting on the couch. "We need to talk." Chenle sits slightly apart from the other; deep down he admits to being a little scared. "You have been acting really weird these past weeks, and don't cut me. You know that's not how you usually act, at least not to Jisung." The other's gaze is sharp and warns him to tell nothing but the truth. Renjun knows him too well to lie, so he doesn't even think to try it.

"I'm just having fun." That didn't come out so well; he regrets it when he sees the murderous look on the other. "What I mean is, I'm just doing my work, you know? Feeding the fans and spoiling our maknae—isn't that what all of you do?" He tried to redirect the topic, but Renjun is more intelligent than any of them.

"Chenle, you literally had Jisung under you on this couch like last week; we don't even have cameras here." Okay, maybe he didn't think further about his answer. "It's just to make it more real! You know? Jisung will get used to it, and then it will come naturally on the recordings." The older one reacts, pinching the bridge of his nose as he does when they really stress him out" that's not a good signal.

"This is serious, Chenle! You can't go around playing with Jisung like that, you know how sensitive he is. How would he feel when you get tired of this game after you isolated him from us and pampered him all month?"

"I didn't isolate him from anyone, what are you talking about?" He is starting to get heated from this talk. The older one have no right to complain to him about being touchy with his maknae. He was not lying when he said every member does that, always throwing themselves to attend to the younger one when he has any minor inconvenience.

"You didn't let Jaemin cook for him because you said he could do it by himself, but then I heard Mark say you took him to a fancy restaurant that same night!"

"Okay, but that was because I already made the reservation and—"

"Then you ripped him off Donghyuck's arms because you said he was too sweaty, and Jisung didn't like it, but then you gave him your smelly hoodie?"

"For your information, Jisung said that he likes my scent, but that has nothing to do with—"

"And you were so mad when we were just teasing Jisung with Jeno like it wasn't what we have always done, and you were even more clingy to him that day. You growled like a pathetic kitten when Sungchan came over to hug Jisung. You were even with Shotaro next to him, and you know they are boyfriends! Why would you be jealous of him?"

Wait, what?

"Jealous? Have you lost your mind? I'm not possessive of Jisung, he is only my friend! You know I only like girls, and I would never get jealous over a friend. I already told you all this was just to entertain fans, it was fun. I don't know why you would have a problem with that. Maybe it's you who is in love with Jisung and not me"

He didn't mean to sound so defensive; he just hates to lose a discussion. "Who would like to be with Jisung anyways? You and he are the only virgins in this house, so you're perfect for each other." He didn't mean to say that, his mind was running, trying to make up excuses he didn't know he needed.

Renjun's hurt expression makes him regret everything that he said, apologies already hanging on his mouth. "I didn't even say you were in love, but never mind, you have too much pride to lose in something." The older gets up and goes to his room. Chenle knows he would not be mad for too long; the other knows him too well to know his intention wasn't to hurt or belittle them.

"Oh wow, I didn't know being a virgin made someone undesirable." A deep voice comes right after the sound of the door closing. Chenle turns around and sees the two members who were missing with shopping bags and sharp expressions. He fucked up.

"Ji, you know I didn't mean that." He quickly got up and tried to get closer to the younger; he wanted to say something more, but a strong arm held him back, letting the younger run into his own room and loudly lock it. "Just leave it like that. What you said was so wrong, and you should apologize to them later, but now is not the moment. I don't think they are eager to hear you." Jeno wasn't even scolding him, his voice always being gentle but unwavering, just like him.

He still felt bad to be called out by his hyung, even if he had no right to feel hurt in this situation. "I-I really didn't mean it to come out like that. I was just mad that Renjun was so intrusive when it was not his place. I don't think lower of them because of that." He frowns at himself for making excuses when he shouldn't; it was exactly what brought him to this problem.

"I think it's very sweet that they want to wait for their special ones, and maybe they are for each other if they have not found them yet." He can't deny how bitter he sounded, but he didn't want to think about that now.

"Renjun and I are trying to date." Oh, okay, now that makes everything more embarrassing. Jeno should be mad at him too, but he was there giving him advice and talking like he didn't just imply his future partner would end up with another person.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know that. Does that mean he isn't, uh, you know anymore?" "You just used that as an insult to him but can't even repeat it now?" Now Jeno seems clearly frustrated, but he leaves a sight and returns to his calm temper.

"We are taking it slow, but that's none of your business"

"Okay, I get it. Sorry again. It's just that Jisung deserves someone who is open to love him as much as Gege does, someone who would be as romantic as him to wait and save his first times for when they meet, someone who would never hurt him over some stupid things, and—"

"Someone who isn't you?" The older's voice cut him off, shocking him to the core.

"No? Of course it couldn't be me; I can't give him that. I love him but not in that way." He is starting to feel tired of repeating those words, feeling like he is convincing himself more than the others.

"Injunnie was really right about you, oh god, when will you ever realize?" And with that, Jeno also goes to his room—wait, no, to Renjun's room—and leaves Chenle alone, with his mind running again.

☆

Jisung didn't imagine his day to go like this, crying on his pillow again for the same boy he fell in love with and still couldn't get over. He knows he shouldn't be alone when his thoughts are louder than his reasoning, but Jeno is probably comforting Renjun, and he felt so guilty trying to interrupt them. He opens his phone, writing an apology to his hyung for making him fight with the other Chinese, and then he thinks about his options.

He thinks of the other person who cares about him with the gentle, almost paternal care that Renjun's does. He should be asleep by now, but he didn't lose anything by trying; if he doesn't respond, he can still call Mark.

"...Jisungie?" The voice on the other side of the call instantly shouts over his sobs, "Are you okay? You never call me so late."

"Jaemin," he didn't want to break down to another of his hyungs in just a week, but he couldn't control how whimpering his voice sounded. "Do you think someone will ever truly want me?" the question that was eating him alive after hearing the boy he loved the most degrading him for not having experience, for being plainly unwanted by anyone, after said boy confessed that all his sudden attention was just a game to him, the boy who is just as straight as he already accepted before starting to have hopes again.

"Oh, my sweet Jisungie," the other's voice doesn't sound tired anymore, and the younger can't believe how Jaemin is capable of pouring out love with his voice even with the bad phone connection. "Of course someone would want you; you are so easy to be loved. How could someone even hate anything that comes from you? Did you find those comments again?"

"N-no, it's not that, hyung." He was not sure if everything was correct; after all, his feelings were supposed to be secret, and now half of his group would know about it. "It's Chenle"

"Uh? But I thought you two were doing great? I didn't see him being clingy to you since he was little and didn't even know how to speak korean"

The sweet memories warm his heart and remind him why he has been in love for so long. He calms himself as he explains everything to Jaemin, from the sudden tension to the explosive discussion the two chinese had. He tries his best to not paint Chenle as bad as it sounds because even after all the emotions that still hurt his chest, he loves him, and he wants to believe the other loves him too, as a friend, but loves him enough to not mean to be mean to him on purpose or to his hyung.

"He is being a dickhead." The words left him shocked; it's not usual for him to hear such harsh words from the older to his members. "Jaemin! I said I wasn't mad at him anymore!" He himself knows that's a lie, but breaking the dynamic of their group was the last thing Jisung wanted to do.

"Well, good thing I can decide for myselfthat I'm in fact mad with him. I know he is just saying bullshit because he doesn't want to admit he has been wrong all this time. Chenle can't keep being this stubborn when he is hurting everyone and himself! I just want the best for you all."

"Jaem, stop. Everyone is trying to push this on him that he secretly likes me but he hasn't realized it yet and is making him uncomfortable. That's probably why he exploded. I already accepted that he would never want me like that, and I'm okay with that. I'm not defending what he said about hyung and me, but I'm trying to understand why he does that."

"He does that because he thinks nobody deserves you, not even himself, and he blames it on excuses that don't make any sense." He tried to convince the other, but his hyung is strong with his own beliefs, it's different from Chenle's pride because somehow Jaemin tends to have his reasons and end up being right. "But I know it's difficult for you to believe it; this month has been so emotional and tiring for you. Sleep well this night, and I promise I will arrange you a little care session to relax your mind. It's okay?"

Jisung thought his love for his hyungs couldn't grow bigger, but he always got proved wrong. "It's okay, hyung, you know I'm free this weekend. Thank you for listening to me, and please don't be too harsh with Chenle tomorrow. I'm sure it will already be hard for him with Renjun hyung not wanting to talk to him for a while."

"I said you should rest today. Stop thinking of protecting your dummy boyfriend. Good night."

"He is not—" The call is over, and he could read Renjun's answer to his apology.

"My sweet baby, how could a loser like Chenle have your heart? It's not your fault; you know I would happily die defending you"
"Don't worry too much. Jeno told me about some of his talk with Chenle—nothing I had not already figured out, but you can be sure he wants you BAD. Just wait a little longer, okay? But don't let him get on you too easily. I hope to see him begging on his knees for forgiveness before he could have the right to kiss you"
"Sleep well, my Jijongie"

And with that he knows he could sleep peacefully, feeling so full of his hyungs' love.

☆

From the other side, Chenle was on a call too, ranting with the only person who would match his talkative nature.

"Dude, you said they should date just because they haven't had their first time yet? How would you even think of that?"

"I don't know, okay! I know I fucked up, and now they won't talk to me in a month, and then everything is going to be so awkward because I couldn't think straight for once and—"

"That's funny coming from you, the only straight of the team" Chenle was not in the mood for Mark's lame jokes.

"Why is that the only thing everyone wants to talk to me about? Damn it, it's really my fault if wanting to have my best friend for myself only is not 'straight behavior'? Then I'm not! Yes, everyone was right; I want him, and I hate that I'm the least person he deserves." His confession comes faster than the thought behind it.

"Bro, I didn't even bring that up." Maybe he really should shut his mouth sometimes.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's up with me today." small tears start to form in his eyes, Daegalie peacefully sleeping on his lap being his only physical comfort. "When I started this whole thing, I didn't know I would get too used to it. I just couldn't keep my hands to myself every time I had him close. It's like all the things I always wanted to do but never let myself go for were crashing all at once, and then I thought, 'Oh, maybe I'm really not that straight, and I would not be against kissing him,' but then I remembered he didn't even have his first kiss yet! He is in his twenties! And that only made me so disappointed about myself because he used to rant about how he wanted to be loved, and I was so afraid to never be good enough for him that I denied it until I ended up hurting him. That was the only thing I never wanted to do, and it confirmed to me that I'm not the person he should give his all to.

"...Have you ever thought that maybe he doesn't need someone who 'deserves' him but to be with the person he loves?" That settles into his mind, because the answer is no; he just knew he wasn't the person for Jisung, and that's why he didn't even try to recognize his feelings.

"Well, maybe, but that shouldn't be me, even less after what I did to him." His cute princess is now staring at him, judging him with her superiority complex like even she knew something that he didn't. Maybe he is imagining things from his lack of sleep.

"Chenle I will be totally honest with you, and I need you to just accept this as a fact because I've never been more sure about something in my life, but literally anyone could tell Jisung loves you, not like he loves any of us; you two are destined. He has been waiting for you to get over yourself and just take him." Jisung is what? When he said he was waiting for his special one, he was referring to him? That's not possible; he couldn't—

"Hello? Chenle, Are you still there? Please tell me you listened to what I said because I'm not going to repeat it." "Jisung loves me?" His voice sounded so desperate he almost didn't recognize himself, feeling his blood rushing to his face. "You are probably the last person to get the memo, but yes, I'm pretty sure he does, so you really should fix it before Renjun decides to murder you in your sleep. I already have too many messages from him and Jaemin that I don't have the energy to deal with now."

Jaemin? He is so fucking dead, if Renjun and Jeno have him mentally preparing to walk on thin ice for their schedule, then Jaemin would break that ice with just one of his fingers while smiling so scarily bright at him.

"I will fix it, I promise, just please don't leave me with any of them alone tomorrow"

☆

It's not common for Chenle to feel nervous; the last time he remembers being like this was when he met his basketball idol in person, but even that seems lighter than the fast heartbeat that has been tingling his chest since he arrived at the company.

As he begged, Mark and Haechan were right by his side, metaphorically protecting him from the sharp knives that Jaemin was throwing at him with his eyes. The dorm members were later than usual, and that only made his anxiety grow.

Just a minute later, Jeno and Renjun enter holding hands, and he wonders why he never noticed those small clues from the start, but he already accepted that he is not the brightest person to capture any type of romantic signal.

Jisung comes right after them, wearing—wait, Chenle really hopes his two hours of sleep are causing him brain damage because the view he has couldn't come from anywhere other than the embarrassing dreams he never wanted to remember when he needed some release.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Haechan's surprised tone partially expressed the commotion he was going through. "There were some problems with the laundry, and we were running really late. I'm just going to say there were little to no other options." Renjun calmly explained that that could justify why Jisung was wearing the shortest piece of cloth he had ever seen the younger with.

And okay, it was not overly scandalous or actually reveling, but it was still not common to see the taller one with fashion that goes out of comfy zip-ups. Everyone knew how shy the other was about showing too much yet, he was especially careful to not be as showcasing as his other members who would just strip in the middle of a concert, and the only times Chenle had an idea of what was under his clothes was barely just from touching under his oversized shirts.

So there's an excuse for him to be this deranged when their maknae enters the room with an off-shoulder crop top. He didn't even know the other had clothes like that in his closet, and that's when the second shot hit him.

Jisung didn't have any crop tops because it wasn't his; it was one of Chenle's oversize shirts that he thought he lost weeks ago. It was just the younger's height that made it look shorter than it should. He knows his own face is probably bright pink right now, but he just couldn't stop staring at the other's perfect proportions, his hands burning with the necessity to get around the other just like he has done all these days.

But he knows he lost that right for the meanwhile, and it's probably not the best decision when he could feel his pants slightly more tight. If he sees the evil smile from Renjun across the room confirming his theory that the laundry problem was more planned for torturing him than a real thing, then he will just let it pass. He still needs to win the older's forgiveness.

☆

"Hyungg, I will not go out like this"
"Just trust me, Jijongie, you could use your hoodie until we are already at the practice door, okay?"

☆

Today was their last date of practice because everyone has a little two days off. Chenle wanted to plan how to apologize to the younger and somehow confess his feelings without ruining everything more. But his hopes instantly went down when he heard Jaemin announcing that he would take their maknae to his apartment and nobody was allowed to come.

Chenle really tried to not be offended by the direct sight that the other had on him when he said those words.

"Daegalie, what would you do in this situation?" The small ball of fluff was just playing around with his squishy toys, totally oblivious of his dad's struggles. "Yeah, I know you are smart enough to not get into this type of problem in the first place"

☆

"A little birdie told me someone finally realized what he is missing."

When Jaemin said they will have a relaxation session, he didn't expect to be accepting a full self-care routine with fluffy pink headbands.

"You mean Mark leaked to you his conversation with Chenle?" It was not hard to connect the strings when the Chinese seemed to hide behind the leader's back every time Renjun would stare at him for too long. "Or that you managed to get the information out of him?"

"Well, my dear, you know our Markie loves to talk, and Chenle should know better than to be honest with the worst liar he could find." Now Jaemin is helping to put some toner pads on his face. "Anyways, at this point even Donghyuckie already knows all the story, and he wasn't even in the dorms these days."

"I'm just not sure yet; I will not believe it until I see it and hear it myself." The lululus were also helping with the comforting therapy, all being just their cutie selves and letting him pet them one at a time. And that's totally understandable. Remember that Injunnie expects no less than an unforgettable apology. I know he already forgives Chenle and is only taking advantage of how far his apology would go, but it's not time to talk about dumb boys"

Jisung can totally see why the older wanted to have sisters whom he could spoil and protect, feeling the other gently brush his hair while he started to rant about his latest photography adventures.

☆

He had everything ready; after properly apologizing to Jeno and Renjun and offering to pay for one of their dinner dates, he was finally allowed in their apartment again. He spends his free days at Jisung's dorm, surrounded by the younger scent and interests all plastered around his room.

The night Jisung will come back to the dorms, he prepares everything for their encounter; with some help from the other members, they arrange a path of white flower petals that leads to the younger's room. Chenle bought some gifts that were waiting on Jisung's bed, he printed different photos of themand placed them on his wall, and little star-shaped lights were hanging on the ceiling, and now the only thing that was missing was the person he needed to apologize to.

"It actually looks better than I expected." He never thought he would miss Renjun's teasing him so much. He opened his arms and hugged his hyungs, who helped him with everything, saying goodbye to them as they went out to their dinner date.

The plan was to leave the apartment so he could be alone when Jisung came. The older had already informed Jaemin about the plan so he could prepare Jisung without spoiling anything and text him the moment the younger left his house.

"Cutie hamster has already left the house ₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎."
"Thankfully he didn't question why I wanted to style him when he was just going to sleep after arriving at the dorms."
"Remember to be honest; you got this, brave kitty"

☆

Chenle is sitting on the maknae's bed when he hears the outdoor opening; the sound of steps takes a little longer. He grabs the flower bouquet and gets closer to the door at the same time that Jisung opens it.

The first thing he thinks is that he also owes Jaemin a meal after that. The younger is always cute and handsome, but today he looks even more unreachable than ever, maybe because it's the first time Chenle is ever risking this much. Pretty eyes meet with him, overflowing with the love he is still not sure he is deserving of, but he decided that he is willing to leave his insecurities aside if he could show the other how deep his feelings go.

Trying to calm himself and continue just like he planed, he softly grabs the younger's hand, kneeling on one knee as he looks up to the other, hoping he could be transparent enough to let the other see that the eyes he thought would not ever look in his direction were always made for him. He left a small kiss on the other's wrist, offering the bouquet of white tulips, roses, and blue forget-me-nots, adding a little bit of color, the delicate nature whispering, "I'm sorry, I want to begin again, and I will truly love you, beyond anything else"

Jisung accepts the flowers so now is his turn to speak too "I love you" his speech didn't started like that, but those were the only words in his mind when he was face to face to the other "I could never apologize enough for what I said and the time it takes me to finally admit it, please don't think I was embarrassed about my feelings for you, it's not an excuse but I was so afraid of not being the perfect person for you that I rather not have you at all, I was selfish because I let my fears to not let me see what you were feeling too and I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this just to wait for me, I'm not the idealized person I pictured for you but I promise I will love every part of you if you let me, I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore but–"

Long arms surrounded his neck, the final piece he was missing coming into place and the touch he craved more than anything. It wasn't even a kiss; it was just a tight hug, but his heart was racing faster than with any other romantic experience he had before.

"I'm sorry. Renjun told me to not forgive you before you finished talking, but I already did it when I saw you here."Oh. It's just forgiveness then; he knows he himself said he would understand if the other wanted to move out from him, but the pain that installs in his chest is too heavy to let him breathe.

Soft fingers take one of the small blue flowers from the bouquet, and Chenle feels like the younger is grabbing his own heart at that moment. "I always want to be with you; if you being a little dumb could be enough to erase my feelings, then they would have already vanished a long time ago." He felt the sweet caress touch on one side of his face, leaning his head just so he could feel closer to the other. His hair is tucked behind his ear as the younger gently attaches the flower to him, returning his love. "I love you beyond life too"

"Hyung," he abruptly opens his eyes. Jisung never calls him like that anymore. He hates to admit it, but things inside him do. "Could you kiss me now? You know I waited for so long." His eyes go down directly to the younger's soft plump lips, but he needs a few seconds to pull himself together and remember that those lips were not cherished by anyone's love yet. With the same care he had when picking each flower for the bouquet, he slowly directed his hand to the other's face, while closing the distance between them, just slightly standing on his tiptoes because their distance wasn't close enough.

The moment his lips felt the heavenly touch of the sweetest texture he had ever tasted, he knew it would never be enough to just exist without being intertwined again. He tried to be as gentle as he could while his inside felt like it was overflowing with clouds, so filled with love that they started raining, and the tears of pure adoration melted when they met with his burning desire, crashing temperatures making him unable to form a proper thought.

Jisung is the first one to disconnect their lips, and Chenle's impulse makes him chase the other softness. "I can't believe you were afraid to not be enough for me, that was more than I could ever imagine" the flushed cheeks and sparkly eyes on the other make him feel like he just won everything at life. He himself can't believe he almost gave up on being with his other half.

"Chenle? I'm sorry, it wasn't good?" The doubt in his voice right after the younger allowed him to experience the most meaningful kiss of his life made him come back to his senses, like he would let the other feel any less than perfect.

"Ji, you really have no idea of how you make me feel." Just to prove his point, he leans again to catch another kiss, this time putting a little more pressure that is only motivated by his affection, hands getting lower until they reach the other's waist, exactly where they always meant to be.

Their next moments together are filled with soft laughs and Jisung opening his gifts, some shirts from his favorite bands, sweet little treats for a month, and matching bracelets that look priceless after receiving the other's happiness in return.

They end up cuddling on the younger's bed, telling stories of their youth together and teasing each other about how oblivious they were. Hearts peacefully beating, letting their owners believe that they are finally worthy for each other.

☆

"The memories I’ve lost guide me back to you
Step by step, without rest
I’m being pulled to you"

Chapter Text

Today they had a fancall schedule; in theory it should be the least tiring of their activities; but when you get asked for the fifth time in the day to mimic the expression of a cat, you start to wonder if six hours of dance aren't so bad after all.

"Oppa, who between the other members do you think would be the best partner for Jisung oppa?"

Now, maybe the cat aegyo wasn't that bad either.

"Uh? You mean like for CP?" The question caught him unprepared, his mind wandering after two hours straight of being seated and meters away from his boyfriend, with no opportunity to sneak out for some kisses.

The fan's eyes light up instantly. "Yes, just like that oppa! I heard you participated in our last ranking, so it makes me wonder, you must know our maknae so well..." as well as it could be to know how his lips taste and how dreamy he looks before waking up.

"...Mark and Renjun felt a little off to me, so maybe Jaemin oppa? He is a perfect husband material and knows how to cook well!" Chenle knows how to cook too, there's nothing surprising about that.

"...but Donghyuckie oppa and Jisung were really close last year, right? Every concert felt like their honeymoon!" Okay so, don't bring that up to him again, he is still trying to erase every memory of the younger giggling every time he received Haechan's flirting.

"Oh! And of course our Dreamies' favorite pairing, Jeno is so strong and matches perfectly with Jisung oppa! I bet he is the only one who could carry him around!" And Chenle swears he's gonna close every gym in the nearby radius and pay them to let himself be their only member.

Wait, there's something missing. "What about me?" His question came abruptly, cutting off whatever the fan had left to say.

"Uh? Why would Chenle oppa wanna be included? I thought you were, like, you know, not really into that..." The fan looks at him like he just lost his mind. "But I guess oppa could be an option too, since you really want it..."

"I'm not an option if I'm the only choice, though," He finally answered after noticing there were only some seconds left before the fancall ended.

"But oppa, what do you mean by that—"

The screen goes dark and he starts to prepare for the next call with a satisfied grin on his face. If he could hear disappointed sighs around him, then that's really not one of his worries.

☆

He grew to loving their late night car rides; he would take the seat next to his boyfriend and let his head rest on his shoulder, playing with their fingers intertwined and whispering a little when they were not completely exhausted from their long schedule.

"...And then I heard Chenle whining about why he wasn't considered as an option." Annoying laughs woke him from his comfort space, at the same time he feels Jisung turning to participate in the conversation too.

"He really said that? I was on the other side of the room, I could only see the three sets of Haechan hyung's aegyo." More laughs start to fill the car and Chenle's is grateful to not be the only object of the joke now.

"Chenle acts like he didn't try to convince everyone about how straight he was for months. I bet the fans are gonna be so confused when they see how drastically he switched opinions." After all the drama that their blooming relationship caused, now they only bring up his stupid behavior to remind him of how wrong he was and that they were always right. But at the end of the day, he is still the person who gets to call Jisung his boyfriend, so you don't have to ask who is actually winning from this; because it's clearly him.

"I'm still convinced that Chenle used the excuse that Jisung is really the only man he actually loves like that." Jaemin defending him was some type of miracle that doesn't usually happen.

"If we are being honest, Jisung is probably the only human being he will ever love like that." Okay, it's not defending, it's just everyone making fun of him and how flustered he started to act after recognizing his feelings; it's not like somebody could blame him, right? Maybe he sometimes needed time to remind himself his pretty boyfriend is real and is everything he always dreamed about, but Daegalie was his only witness for those moments; just her daughter and Jisung himself because he couldn't keep his feelings locked down when they were the only two people in a room.

"I think it's so cute, you would tease him a lot more if you saw how he acts when we are in his apartment. He once left the delivery guy waiting for fifteen minutes because he didn't want to stop his cuddling session." That traitor. "But he received an extra tip after that!"

☆

Jisung isn't surprised when small hands hold him still on his seat when the van parks in the dorm's garage.

"Don't go," a cute whisper is mumbled on his neck. "Sleep at my place today." The other two members are getting out of the car, waiting for him to come. "What do you mean by today? I've been sleeping at your place all week," he could easily free himself from the other's grip if he wanted, but he enjoyed to see the chinese member like this, begging just for him. "I don't even have more clothes at your place."

"Like you don't steal mine. Jeno and Renjun have been happier since you stay with me." Jisung gives one look to the members just mentioned, quietly hinting his decision to them, making sure Chenle doesn't catch it.

"You are saying they don't love me anymore?" He tried his best to sound annoyed, something hard when his warm boyfriend is all around him, befogging his senses and making him want nothing more than to kiss him stupid. "I didn't say that...They just don't need you like I do."

He could feel the overflowing affection they both should have painfully showcasing all over their expressions. He knows Chenle already knows he won, but he still wants to push him a little further. Slowly, he cups the other's face, guiding their gaze to meet. "What will I win if I let you have me tonight?" He chooses his words carefully, using his tone to denote the subtle suggestion he means behind his act, waiting for the reaction he knew it would cause in the other.

Even in the darkness of the van, Chenle's flushed expression is clear to him, eyes showing something far from his usual endearing adoration, a spark that was becoming more common between their alone time and after their first months of dating. "You are gonna be the death of me."

☆

He didn't know if he should feel gratified or not that by the time they arrive at his house, the build up tension is already gone. It gives him time to think if this night could lead to the special moment they've been waiting for.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" Chenle was in the kitchen, preparing some food for the week when he hears his boyfriend near, just seconds later he gets hit with his shampoo's scent and long arms hanging on his shoulders. He softly felt a little kiss on his cheek and warm caramel starts to flood his chest; just like anytime Jisung does something lovely.

"Maybe, there are no schedules tomorrow." He regains his clarity, ruling out the possibilities of going beyond mere kissing and interlaced bodies again. He wasn't desperate for it, postponing the idea more than Jisung himself did, a part of him still afraid of the outcome. They trust each other a lot, but Chenle is self-aware of how different it is to be with the younger than with anyone he was before; he didn't mean to make comparisons but even his members could point out his feelings never went that far in the past.

Jisung's inexperience was something he always kept in mind too, not because it did any less to his desire for the younger; contrary to what he once lied about. Secretly, it caused the opposite effect on him; just thinking about how not a single person had the privilege to be allowed in his boyfriend's intimate state makes his own mind feel dizzy in a way that he is ashamed to admit.

He doesn't know if the burning feeling came from his competitive side or some preferences he wasn't aware of having. Maybe it's just because it is something that is part of Jisung and that itself is enough motivation to drive him crazy.

He always felt he had to reward the younger in some way, for being so patient and never giving up on their love, for not blaming him for the years where he unintentionally hurt the other. And the perfectionist in him wanted to be the best Jisung could ever have, that he will feel sure that nobody will be able to reach Chenle's devotion for him. He dreams of having the younger convinced that he wouldn't need any other experience to find something greater.

☆

Sweet mutual kisses and tangled sheets, a sound in the background that was long forgotten. It was no different than the routine they were used to falling into. Most of their time is shared between group activities and the same bonding that solidified their relationship even before they put an official name on it. That's why they save their physical displays for private moments away from the eyes of others.

Chenle doesn't overthink it too much, just waiting for the moment to end and for them to start to get ready for bed; just like every other night together, but then the atmosphere changes, from fluffy clouds numbing his mind to a sweaty rain that hints a sudden storm.

"Hyung," Jisung's dilated pupils look at him from their slightly elevated position, given by his height and the way he was sitting on Chenle's lap, hands gently resting on his shoulders. A jolt runs through him, and he tries his best to conceal how affected he feels by a simple word.

"You are so perfect, hyung," small kisses following his jawline. "So pretty like this," fingers softly pulling his hair, letting the turmoil build within him.

Chenle's own fingers gripping the sheets, seeking for a way to stay grounded. "Babe, wait a moment." His voice comes out slightly shaky, shutting his eyes and focusing to avoid getting a boner. They are just innocent kisses, he is not supposed to feel like this.

"You want to stop?" The softness in the other's voice makes him want to cry. The younger shouldn't be the one worried in their heated moments, it's not what Chenle's used to imagine. Every time his dreams were filled with lust, the only picture that came would be himself guiding the other, teaching him how to feel good; all while he remained in control of the situation.

"I should be the one asking that question," He manages to calm himself, awkwardly laughing to lighten the mood. "Just because you have done this before doesn't mean you can't be unsure." Now, he can't let the other think that's his concern.

"I thought I was making it obvious that I'm ready. Are you sure that's all?" The other's tone wavered between bold and uncertain about whether he was being completely honest, and Chenle knows the other will sense there was something more that bothers his mind, but he didn't plan to say it now. Maybe later when the younger has received the best release of his life; just then he could confess, feeling already accomplished.

"Don't worry, you want to change positions?" He hopes the other agrees so he could be more safe of overwhelming sensations; luck is not on his side when the answer comes as demanding kisses and a stronger force than before. And it's okay, he had handle much more before, it doesn't matter that there's a voice reminding him that Jisung isn't like anything he experienced in the past.

"I've been trying to tell you, but you always act like I'm going to break." The confidence in the other's voice and the words after are something he won't ever forget. "You can be rough with me, I will take it." His shorts feel tighter, blood running through his veins directly to the lower part of his body.

Chenle takes the lead with an objective in mind, they have not done a french kiss yet, so he gently requests permission to open the other's mouth, his own tongue touching the younger's swollen lips. With some effort he manages to enter, exploring the warm cave while his hands make pressure on Jisung's small waist, drawing a sound from him.

"Do that again, please." The younger looks so pliant to him, begging to take anything Chenle will give him, and he is nothing but a weak person. This time he tried to capture the other's lips with his own, carefully biting the plump texture and getting a loud moan in return. He feels his cock twitching in his boxers, precum leaking; but he is sure nobody in his position could be any better if they also heard the noises that left Jisung's mouth.

"Hyung, you make me feel so good." He wished that phrase didn't make his head spin, another wave of heat melting his brain from forming a thought; a part of him wanted to care about how quickly he was nearing the brink.

"Fuck, baby, could you try to—" His own words being cut off when the younger seems to read his mind and starts to writhe on his lap, shorts going up and feeling the other's thighs pressing right on top of his boner.

The biggest rush of pleasure crashing over him, his body tensed anticipating the sudden liberation. He needs to tell the other to stop but the sweet whimpers and warm feel too good to make it stop. He feels slender fingers getting closer to his hardness and a glance at the other's face is enough to see himself falling from the edge. Everything happens in a blink, his wrecked whine is the only warning before Chenle's orgasm hits him like a train, body shaking as he comes all over his underwear. His vision goes blank for a second and his head falls back onto the headboard, trying to steady his breath.

When he gets back from his high; his eyes meet with the other and feels a cold bucket of water dumped all over him. Shame running through his own body and the desperate need to hide from the younger's gaze. "Oh god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to— Fuck, I don't know why—" He stumbles over his words, like there could be any excuse to justify what just happened. He not only came in his underwear, but did it almost untouched, if the other presence over him could count as being touched, making a mess just from some tongue kissing like a pathetic teenager.

The worse thing is that he can't even say he came like a virgin because; hell, Jisung is the one who was never touched by another person before. The humiliation of being the first one to reach his limit when he was the experienced one shouldn't bring tears to his eyes and his dick to try to move again, but it does. Fuck, why he needed to fumble so bad with the prettiest person he ever got on his bed, the only one he wanted to impress.

"Hyung? Don't cry, please." He expects to lift his gaze and find pity on the other's face. He doesn't think he could see his boyfriend again after handling that view, but he didn't get any of that. "Did you really come?" Jisung's voice isn't mocking him; instead, it sounds like he is shaking with emotion. He scans the younger's expression; blushed cheeks, sparkly eyes and for the first time that night, the other looks shiest.

"I don't know why you apologize, it was so hot." Gentle fingers take his tears away, still searching how to respond to that. "I promise you, I feel so honored, just be honest with me if you want to stop now." Comforting kisses on his cheeks assuring him he had nothing to worry about in the first place.

"I-I want it, Jisung, please." His cock was already hard again, uncomfortably surrounded by his sticky release. "Could you let me?" The younger one fingers moving to his waistband, waiting for confirmation. A whimpering sound escapes his mouth, begging to feel the other's touch again. "Use your words?" Fuck it, he grabs Jisung's hand and presses the palm open, covering completely the wet spot, feeling his whole body shivering just from that.

"Hyung, have you ever come untouched before?" The small grind suggests that the other already knows the answer to that. "It's only you, nobody else could make me feel like this." He hates to admit how much he is enjoying the situation.

"Will you let me ride you?" Chenle doesn't know if it's the implication of going to the end tonight or Jisung's fingers removing his boxers that make his cock throb with pain. "But, you would probably cum the second I let you inside me, don't you?"

"No—I'll be good, please." He knows he must look like a mess and they have barely done anything. "I need you." The younger person satisfies his begging, taking off his clothes. Chenle is still sitting with his shirt only and his dick exposed; watching how beautiful his boyfriend looks like this, milky skin decorated with bruises from his hard work, defined collarbone and toned but delicate long limbs.

"Fuck, you are unreal, can't believe how lucky I am." Somehow along the way he recovers his confidence, because the younger person makes him feel perfect and he wants the other to feel like that too. "Look at you, so fucking gorgeous, my pretty doll." The unexpected name doing wonders on the taller boy.

"Hyung," There is his sweet baby again, all shy and whining. "Can I fuck you now? I will let you ride me after, don't worry." He changes positions and pushes the younger over, hands at both sides of his head and starting a kiss with Jisung writhing under him. That's what he needed, he almost fainted seeing his boyfriend take control and treat him like a precious thing; the option of being attended making his mind spin. But for now, he wanted to spoil the other like in every one of his fantasies; not because he is feeling selfish but because he wants Jisung's first time to be made with love, his love.

"I just want you. I will take anything if it's from you." Chenle can feel his heart beating, so filled with affection. "I'll get the lube, just wait—" He was in the middle of standing up when the other's hand pulled him closer again.

"I'm ready, I fingered myself in the shower." If he wasn't inches away from the younger, Chenle wouldn't believe what he heard. "Just—Please, hyung." His own fingers go down and slightly touch the other's hole, incredibly wet with cold lube; how could the other be the past hours like this? So open for him?

"Could you enter like this? You know we are both clean." Chenle almost screams into his pillow. He hopes nobody would try to save him from his precious boyfriend and his wild ideas. "Fuck, why are you so hot?"

He kisses the other before pulling back. "I will do it now, tell me if it hurts. I will go as slowly as I can." He knows that even if Jisung's hole is dilated, it should still be uncomfortable the first minutes. He offers his hand to the other, fingers meeting like puzzle pieces, gently caressing to distract the younger from the intruding pressure.

Chenle could feel his brain melting from the overwhelming heat. His intention was to take his time; but the lube and his own cum make it impossible to not slide into it. Jisung lets out a high-pitched moan the moment he hits the bottom, waiting for the other to get used to the feeling. Soft kisses going all around his face and neck; "I love you," "You are perfect to me," "I'll wait for you in every life," each kiss sealed with love promises that Chenle will make sure to achieve.

"More, p-please." Jisung's legs open like an invitation, and who is he to deny it? Rhythmic patterns flood the room, filled with both of their voices melting onto each other, pouring their hearts and desires.

After he paint a bruise on the other's neck, he slowly lifts his gaze; it locks with teary eyes and long lashes that were already searching for him. In that moment, he thinks he could navigate the space just staring at his other half. "Please, tell me you would never look at anyone like this."

"Like what, my love?" He continues to search for the place that will take the other to see the same stars he sees. "Like I'm all you were searching for." Another thrust after that and he feels the body under him shivering. He hits again, wrenching out unintelligible sounds from the other. "I stopped searching after realizing that you are the only one I want by my side." One last kiss is what it takes for both of them to reach the limit together, tears and fluids mixing with each other.

☆

"Oh god, Ji, you are so good."
"You fill me so well, hyung. Were you only made for me?"
"Please, just let me cum, baby. I can't—"
"But hyung said he would be good for me. You promised you wouldn't come before me like a loser."
"I'm trying."
"It's okay, Gege. I always knew you were a little pathetic, you know I like you just like this."
"..."
"I knew it. Wanna try again?"
"This is the third time already."
"So you give up?"
"Fuck, come here."