Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sasuke is leaning back against the trunk of an old oak tree looking up at the stars. His eyes are focused on the night sky above him while the fingers of his lone hand trace the symbol of Konoha engraved into the metal of his old headband. Just sitting with it on his lap and tracing the symbol over and over again without looking at it, contemplating his thoughts and feelings towards such a place.

Sasuke holds a deep resentment towards Konoha. That village took everything from him. His family, his clan, his happiness, his childhood, his sanity; all of it. Konoha will never be home to him. All it will ever be is a place he feels extremely uncomfortable and uneasy in. There are no feelings of contentment and safety to be found for him within those walls. It was a place that changed his life in such a negative way that it almost made him lose his mind. If not for his best friend living there, Sasuke would never return at all.

There was a time when Sasuke wanted to destroy it. Level it to the ground and burn away all the remains. He still wants to sometimes, but he won’t.

Since leaving the village he’s been able to find a sense of peace for the first time in over a decade. He’s learned to accept things about himself and everything he did in his quest for revenge. Sasuke was just a child when he lost everything. Left behind with no one to take care of or love him anymore; a part of him died with his family that day.

His adolescent and teenage years were filled with nothing but pain, anger, hatred, and a thirst for revenge so deep it hardened around his heart like ice. There was no need for trivial things like bonds when he had goals to accomplish. They were nothing more than a weakness holding him back from gaining more. More experience, more skills, more strength, more power, more everything he would need to avenge his clan. Nothing and no one would stand in his way. The things he went through on his path to revenge were gruesome and tiring, pushing his body and mind to their limits again and again. Finding out the truth about Itachi and Konoha caused him to teeter on the edge of sanity for many months. He was thrown even further into the depths of darkness and pain and couldn’t find his way out; he didn’t want to.

Now that the war is over and he’s decided against revenge and despair, he finds himself exhausted. So many years consisting only of training, learning, fighting and pushing himself to perfection has taken its toll. Being able to travel the world leisurely, with nothing to do but wander from place to place, has been refreshing in a way he didn’t know he needed. The mental and emotional fatigue from ten years of loneliness and hatred has been hard to overcome, but each week that passes he feels a little bit better. Sasuke knows he has a lot of unresolved trauma from the things he’s lost and that it will take a lot of time and introspection to deal with and move forward. He has spent a lot of time pondering his life choices and what he envisions for his future, but he knows there is still some darkness and hatred in his heart that may never go away no matter how much time passes.

His fingers inevitably find the large gash across the symbol and that’s when he finally looks down at it. Naruto put that mark there in an attempt to bring him back to Konoha. Sasuke almost killed his best friend that day, and the regret always hits him the hardest when he gazes upon the evidence of that fight.

After their second fight at the Final Valley he made a promise to Naruto that he would never demolish the village his best friend loved so much. Sasuke may hate Konoha, but it is home for Naruto and that is enough of a reason to keep him from destroying it. He wants to see the world through Naruto’s eyes and the future he envisions. His only friend has used the many friends and comrades he’s gained over his life to achieve strength equal to Sasuke’s. They have walked very different paths and Sasuke was beginning to see that maybe having bonds isn't just a weakness. Seeing how far Naruto was willing to go to stop him from falling into darkness forever changed his life. It has kept him from an eternity of loneliness and despair. It was a bond he failed over and over and over and over again to sever.

At this point in his life, he knows he could never cut Naruto out of his life. They don’t see each other very often and mostly keep up communication through letters. The messages they exchange contain mostly inconsequential things such as various random musings or current events. They don’t write down their deepest, darkest thoughts and feelings in letters to be intercepted, but when Sasuke visits they spend much of their time together speaking about everything they have been through. In the woods outside Konoha, they have come to know more about each other than any other person ever could. They know what is in each other’s hearts and Sasuke now knows that Naruto was right; if they die, they die together. There would be no breaking his bond with Naruto; he’d be killing a part of himself if he did.

Part of his dissatisfaction with Konoha is on Naruto’s behalf. His best friend had an even tougher life than Sasuke did in that village. He had no family to love him or take care of him and was shunned by everyone. Sasuke wasn’t the only child that Konoha failed, and he wasn’t the only one it caused pain to. Naruto has endured immense loneliness and suffering at the hands of the people who were supposed to be there for him. And while Sasuke knows Naruto has learned to accept his past, he also knows that his best friend has bitterness of his own towards the place he calls home.

It’s been three years since Sasuke left Konoha and he’s only returned about a dozen times. His brief stays in the village were spent reporting to the Hokage and hanging out with Naruto. Sometimes Sakura, Kakashi or his former classmates would join, but mostly it was just the two of them. These are the times that Sasuke feels the most at peace, regardless of being in such a wretched place. They are the times where it’s easiest to breathe.

Sasuke spends most of his days away from Konoha alone. He visits random villages from time to time, helping where he can and doing his best to repair a broken world and see a different way of life, but he doesn’t stay very long in any one place since he’s never completely gotten over the tension of being constantly prepared for battle when surrounded by people. Even now when there are no perceivable enemies, Sasuke is always equipped for a fight if need be. He will never allow himself to be caught off guard and keeps himself constantly aware of his surroundings. He knows people recognize who he is. Most are accepting of him despite all of the things he’s done, but he’s never quite sure when he’ll come across someone who wants to attack him. He doesn’t mind the solitude of his journey, though there are times when he does feel a yearning for something more. More of the fulfilling connection and total understanding that he knows can only be found with the one person who wholeheartedly accepts him, flaws and all.

Spending time with Naruto is satisfying and enjoyable. It is the only time he is with another person where he doesn’t feel on edge and uneasy. Sasuke always stays in Naruto’s apartment with him while visiting, and mostly they just walk through the woods surrounding Konoha either talking or stopping to spar. Sasuke doesn’t want or need to be in the company of anyone else, but he has to admit the days they do spend with Naruto’s friends aren’t so bad. Mostly. He still doesn’t feel comfortable when he is in Konoha. Most of the people are either too scared of or too spiteful towards him, but his peers all tend to welcome him with open arms whenever he returns to the village.

Being in Naruto’s presence is also the only time he is able to bask in the complete acceptance he experienced at the bottom of the Final Valley. The knowledge that someone knows him better than he knows himself and understands and accepts and forgives him for every sin he’s committed. Sasuke has never felt as close to someone as he does with Naruto and doesn’t think he ever will.

Despite spending most of his time in solitude, Sasuke doesn’t feel alone in the world anymore. To be close to someone and have such a bond again sometimes feels like too much. Lately though, it’s been feeling like not enough and he wants more of that closeness and light. He finds he needs it to be able to move forward any further, but the thought of asking Naruto to join him always gives him anxiety in not knowing if their bond is enough for his best friend to leave his life behind. The uneasiness he feels is not enough to waver in his determination to at least ask though. If he wants a better future for himself, he needs to do everything in his power to ensure he doesn’t fail and waste the second chance he was given. It would be a slap in the face of the only true bond he has left and he hopes Naruto understands that he’s trying, and that he hasn’t completely given up hope yet. Sasuke hopes that Naruto needs him just as much as he does to survive in this world.

It’s been about three months since Sasuke was last back in Konoha and he’s currently on his way to visit again. The nights before he returns to the village are the ones he sits with the headband in his lap under either a starry or cloudy sky. The nightmares that tend to plague him decide to find him on the eve of his visits without fail and always keep him from sleeping. Sasuke has decided that when he ends this brief stay in Konoha, it will be a much longer time until he next returns.

—————————————

Naruto, as always, meets Sasuke a few miles outside of Konoha. His greeting, as always, is an attempt to ambush him which inevitably fails every time, and this one is no different. With just a small step to his side, he avoids the kunai aimed at his chest and revels in the sounds of muttered curses coming from his left. When he hears angry footsteps approaching, he stops and turns to see Naruto stomping his feet as he walks towards him with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

“Every time, you bastard! Why can’t I catch you off guard just once.”

Staring back at his best friend, he immediately feels like he can breathe a bit easier. His chest isn’t as tight and his body almost sags with the relief he always feels in Naruto’s presence. With a placid look on his face, Sasuke says, “because I always know where you are, Usuratonkachi. You can’t hide from me.” And because an interaction with Naruto can never be shy of a bit of teasing and bickering, he adds with a smirk, “and I could hear you coming from a mile away.”

Naruto waves a dismissive hand as he replies. “Whatever. I’ll get you next time.” And because surely he can also feel Sasuke’s presence no matter the distance between them, he rubs the back of his head with a wry smile and tacks on, “somehow.”

“You’re always welcome to try.” Sasuke turns back towards the village and begins walking again, and Naruto naturally falls into step beside him. He winces when an arm is thrown over his shoulder and he’s pulled roughly into Naruto’s side. “It’s good to have you back again, Sasuke.”

He allows the contact for only a moment before shoving the idiot off of him with a glare that’s met with a blinding grin. “Keep your hands to yourself. How many times do I have to tell you this?”

Naruto just punches his shoulder lightly and laughs. “I know you don’t really mind it. You just say that every time because of your prickly attitude. There’s nothing wrong with a hug from a close friend every once in a while, Sasuke.”

Sasuke scoffs and looks away from the other man. “So you always say. Just keep walking. I have to check in with Kakashi and then I’d like to talk. I have something important to discuss with you.”

“Okay. Mind if we get dinner first? I’ve been helping Shikamaru with paperwork almost all day and I’m starving.”

“Sure. I’ll meet up with you after I give my report. Ichiraku?”

Naruto gives him an incredulous stare and declares, “of course! Where else would we eat?” A small smile curls the edge of Sasuke’s mouth at his friend’s predictability. It’s nice to see that some things will never change.

—————————

Sasuke meets Naruto at Ichiraku Ramen about an hour later. They sit at a table and enjoy the, in Naruto’s words, most amazing ramen ever made, and the atmosphere is calm and peaceful. Between bites, they update each other on what’s been happening in their lives since their latest correspondence and Naruto is his usual boisterous self. Sasuke, on the other hand, is feeling very somber and is perhaps even more reserved than he normally is. He knows Naruto will probably not be happy with what he has to tell him. What Sasuke needs him to know and understand.

After they finish their meal, they make their way to the old dock that Sasuke would visit as a child and sit side by side at the end. Naruto breaks the companionable silence first, and Sasuke is grateful as he finds himself unable to speak yet. He needs a few moments to collect his thoughts in order to be able to convey them concisely and firmly, and hopefully in a way that won’t cause too much pain to his best friend.

“So, how long are you staying this time?”

Sasuke glances at him before staring back at the water in front them. “A week.”

“Awww. That’s not much time at all. The festival is in two weeks. You can’t stay for it this time?”

Sasuke shakes his head resolutely. “No. I’d rather not.”

The festival in question is the third anniversary of the end of the Fourth Great Ninja War. It’s the anniversary of the day he almost killed his best friend to enter an eternity of loneliness. He has no reason or desire to celebrate that day and has subsequently failed to attend the previous two years. It’s also Naruto’s birthday and the only reason he regrets not being in the village on that day. Despite Naruto’s insistence that he doesn’t mind Sasuke not being there, he knows his best friend feels hurt by it. His own birthdays have been spent in Konoha with Naruto, but Sasuke just can’t bring himself to be in the village for a celebration of anything about that day. The commemoration of the end of such a devastating war is not enough to allow him to endure the jubilation and merriment of the villagers on a day that he only remembers as being the day he almost destroyed the only bond he had left. It may have been when Naruto finally saved him and showed him there could be a different and better future, but the regret and guilt he feels for his actions are still too great. Naruto may have forgiven him, but he still hasn’t forgiven himself. He’s not sure if he ever will. But he does hope they’ll be able to spend Naruto’s birthday together sometime in the future. If all goes well, perhaps that time will be now.

“Yeah. I know. Would still be nice though. To have you here, you know?” Sasuke can feel the sadness in Naruto that he knows his friend is doing his best to conceal.

Deciding he can’t put it off anymore, Sasuke takes a deep breath in and lets it out slowly before finally speaking. “I need you to understand something, Naruto. Maybe you already know, but I need you to hear me say it aloud.” Sasuke turns his head to look Naruto straight in the eyes with a solemn look on his face. “Konoha will never be my home. I will never live here again and while I no longer seek its complete destruction, I wouldn’t be particularly bothered if something happened to it. The only thing I would mourn would be if you lost your life in the process. To me, the only thing of any real value this place has is you. The only reason I even come back is so that we can spend time together. If not for that, I wouldn’t step foot in Konoha again.”

He watches as Naruto’s face is inevitably twisted into an expression of utter sadness and knows that while his best friend is hearing a truth he was already aware of, Sasuke is breaking his heart. Naruto looks like he is about to cry. There is a sickening pit of regret in Sasuke’s stomach and what feels like a vice around his fragile heart, and he does his best to ignore it. He knew the effect his words would have on Naruto but he is determined to make sure his feelings and intentions are understood.

After pausing and taking a moment for the nausea and anxiety to clear a bit, he turns back to gaze at the water and continues. “I’ve decided that after this visit, it will probably be a much longer time before my next one. It may possibly be years. I don’t want or need anything from Konoha, and I refuse to be beholden to it for any reason. I will continue to send reports on any possible threats or information that I find in regards to the village, but that will be the extent of my involvement with it.”

Sasuke hears the sharp inhale next to him and can feel the weight of Naruto’s eyes on his face. The words his best friend utters are spoken in a shaky, almost breathless voice. “You won’t visit or write to me? You’re just going to run away again?”

Sasuke glances at him without turning his head and answers, “I am leaving Konoha behind again, yes. But I am done running from you, and we can continue to exchange letters if you so wish. I don’t intend to lose touch with you, Naruto. Ours is the only bond with any real meaning that I have left, and I’ve come to know that I will never be able to break it willingly. Even if there are years between the times we see each other, our connection will always be there.”

He turns to meet Naruto’s wide blue eyes, and can see in them that his best friend knows how strong their bond is as well. They both know it is an undeniable fact and something that can never be broken.

“I know you are already aware of this, but let me make it completely clear. There is no me without you, and when we die it will be together, Naruto. I won’t ever forget that and I sincerely hope you never will either.”

Naruto quickly reaches out and grabs Sasuke’s hand to hold it tightly between both of his own. His eyes are resolute and full of the determination, understanding and acceptance that is always present in them. “Never. I will never forget that, Sasuke. Even if you’re a total bastard most of the time, nothing will ever change the fact that you are my best friend. Even when we are on opposite sides of the world for months at a time, I know that we always have each other.”

They stay like that for a while, and Sasuke basks in both the physical contact and the emotional connection they share. Naruto’s eyes can’t lie and Sasuke can read the truth and sincerity in them like he can a book. There is no concealing or denying anything when they look into each other’s eyes.

Eventually, Naruto lets go of his hold and crosses his arms as he sighs heavily. There is a heavy crease across his brow as he bites his lip and frowns. A sheen of unshed tears coats the blond’s eyes as he drops his gaze to their reflection below and his body sags in what Sasuke knows is defeat. “I understand, Sasuke. I may not like it, but I get it. I know it’s hard for you to be in Konoha. I can see and feel it every time you’re here. You’re miserable and uncomfortable and a home shouldn’t make you feel that way. If what you need to be happy is to stay away, I’ll accept that. I’ll wait years to see you again if I have to, even if I won’t be happy about it at all.”

Naruto pauses for a moment, twisting his hands together and still staring into the water. When he speaks again, his voice is a little wobbly and Sasuke can tell that he’s holding back tears. “Life is always best when I’m with you, Sasuke. I feel like I can do anything or be anything when you’re near. Letters are good, but truthfully, it will be really hard to not be able to see you in person for so long.”

Sasuke turns his own gaze to the water but is unable to meet Naruto’s eyes in the reflection. His chest is tight like he can’t breathe properly and his heart beats painfully and erratically. The fear of a rejection is making it hard to ask the question that’s been on the tip of his tongue since he first saw Naruto today. He squeezes his hand into a fist as he steels himself and tries to maintain his resolve.

He is Uchiha Sasuke. The last of his clan. There is nothing he can’t accomplish if he sets his mind to it. He’s trying to find a better way to right the wrongs of the world than the one he once envisioned. He sees the world through a slightly different lens now and the little changes he’s able to make to it are rewarding and encouraging. He is doing his best to atone for his sins and to accept and deal with his past and all the pain he suffered. It’s not always easy, but he continues to move forward and strive towards a better future. He is content with what he has and the life he leads. There is only one thing that could make his life more fulfilling and enjoyable. One person that could make his world a little bit brighter.

“What if you didn’t have to wait months or years? What if you could see me in person every day?” His voice is low and measured, and he pauses to take a deep breath. At the edge of his vision, he sees Naruto turn to look at him, but Sasuke stares resolutely at the water and doesn’t meet his eyes. He can’t meet that penetrating gaze. He knows that if Naruto says no, refuses to leave his friends and Konoha behind… He knows his own eyes will easily give away the heartache and disappointment such a refusal will undoubtedly cause. Sasuke may not have much, but he still has his pride and he would like to leave with his dignity intact.

There is confusion and uncertainty coloring Naruto’s voice when he says, “what do you mean? You just said-“

Unwilling to drag out the conversation anymore, Sasuke cuts him off before Naruto can finish his sentence. “What if you came with me when I leave?”

He holds his breath for what feels like an eternity, fist and jaw clenched tightly, awaiting an answer that will either lighten his spirit or completely destroy it. At this moment, it feels like he has never asked a question more important or significant to his happiness and future.

When Naruto finally speaks, Sasuke closes his eyes and braces himself. “Sasuke…I know it’s not yours, but this is my home. I have friends and a life here. I will be Hokage one day. Leaving it all behind…that would be very hard for me to do.”

Sasuke can feel the warm wetness of a tear roll down the side of his face and a crushing pressure in his chest that is painful and makes it hard for his lungs to take in air. He’s only glad he decided to not look into Naruto’s eyes. He doesn’t think he could bear to see whatever emotion is in them. He struggles to take in a breath and releases it slowly and silently. Deciding he’s come this far already and might as well keep going, he does his best to keep his voice steady.

“It wouldn’t have to be forever. You wouldn’t have to abandon Konoha or your friends or your dreams, but I think there’s a lot you would enjoy about the rest of the world too. There’s much more than just this village out there. I have seen many things on my journeys. Many towns and people that were affected by the wars of the main villages don't have the means to restore or improve their homes and lives. You don’t leave Konoha often, and when you do, it’s very rarely to any of the remote locations I have been to. There are many things you haven’t seen with your own eyes that I think you would and should appreciate. Many people who need help and a little bit of hope where there is often none.”

As exposed as he knows it will make him feel, he silently reminds himself that he must withstand it and takes the plunge into Naruto’s eyes. In their depths, he can see everything he knew would be in them. Pain, confusion, understanding, compassion, determination, surprise…longing?; all swirling like a whirlpool and pouring out like waves against the shore. For a moment, he drowns in the ocean blue of those familiar eyes. Sasuke has stared into them a thousand times and knows that even a thousand more would never be enough. There is no other time that he feels as peaceful and seen as he does when those eyes are on him. It helps him regain some of his strength and resolve to reach out for what he wants, and his voice is low and unwavering when he continues.

“Becoming Hokage is your dream and I have no doubts that you can achieve it. You have strived your whole life for it and finally have the recognition you have always deserved. I know you have been studying and working hard to prepare yourself, but I believe there are things that you should see and experience firsthand that could help you to accomplish your goals. There are things a Hokage should know that can’t always be read in books or taught in a classroom.”

Sasuke puts as much sincerity and honesty into his voice as he can with his final declaration. “I want nothing more than for you to be happy, Naruto. If staying in Konoha is enough for you, I understand and accept that. But I would really appreciate it if you joined me for at least a little while. I have seen your life here and I’d like it if you could see mine out there too.”

The only sounds in the following moments are the wind in the trees and the gentle movements of the water. Sasuke watches as Naruto’s eyes seem to search his own for something and simply continues to stare back. There is nothing more to be said aloud.

Finally, after what feels to Sasuke like a lifetime, Naruto’s body seems to lose some of its tension. Those expressive blueblueblue eyes soften and a few tears roll down a whiskered cheek. He reaches out his left hand, and after hesitating for a second, places it over Sasuke’s still tightly fisted hand. The simple contact has warmth traveling up Sasuke’s arm, soothing the turmoil that was inside of him a moment ago. The muscles in his hand and arm untense a bit and the comforting touch is a balm to the pain and loneliness that is ever present in his heart and soul.

It’s quiet for so long that Sasuke startles a bit when Naruto finally speaks. “Okay. I can’t promise how long it will be, but I’ll come with you. You’re right that there’s a lot I haven’t seen out there. There’s a lot of other people and places that need help too. Konoha is strong and I know everyone here will keep it safe while I’m away. I want you to be happy too, Sasuke. I couldn’t bear it if you weren’t.” The smile Naruto gives him takes Sasuke’s breath away with its sincerity and fondness.

Shifting his eyes to their hands, Sasuke loosens his fist and uncurls all but his index and middle fingers. He turns his hand over slowly and takes hold of Naruto’s to form the Unison Sign. Without looking away from the sight of tan and pale skin linked together he whispers, “thank you.”

“It will be nice to see the world with you.” Naruto knocks their shoulders together roughly and adds, “even if you are a grumpy bastard.”

A quiet chuckle leaves Sasuke’s mouth before he replies, “it will be nice to show it to you, Usuratonkachi.”

———

It’s long past dark when they finally make the trek to Naruto’s apartment and the village is quiet and calm. The autumn night is breezy but the air is still warm and the sky is clear and full of stars. A full moon lights their way and they pass by only a few people. Sasuke appreciates the peaceful, mostly deserted atmosphere and wishes he could always feel as comfortable in Konoha as he does right now.

They walk in companionable silence and when they enter the apartment and prepare for bed, only a few words are exchanged between them. Naruto pulls out the futon he keeps for Sasuke’s visits and stretches it out on the floor beside his own bed. After saying their goodnights, Naruto falls asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow and it’s not long before he is snoring away. Sasuke lays awake just watching the rise and fall of Naruto’s breathing for a little while, and knows he will have a dreamless, restful sleep when he closes his eyes. The nights spent in Naruto’s room are almost always nightmare free and he wakes feeling more refreshed than he ever does when he sleeps alone.

As he finally shuts his eyes and starts dozing off, Sasuke feels thankful that he will now get to have many more nights like this.

—————-

Sasuke has already finished preparing for the day and is sitting on Naruto’s bed lounging against the headboard with the novel he has been reading open in his lap. He quietly turns the page as he glances up to see Naruto pulling on a new shirt before trying unsuccessfully to straighten the wild mane of his hair. When Naruto’s finger inevitably catches on a knot, he sees him wince and swear under his breath. Sasuke lets out a silent chuckle before looking back at his book.

“I told Shikamaru I would help him finish up the work we didn’t get to yesterday. It’s only for a few hours, but it really needs to get done. Wanna get some breakfast on my way to the Hokage Tower?”

“Sure. I have to go there anyway. Kakashi has something he wants my input on.” He marks his page and closes the book before setting it on the nightstand and standing. As they’re walking out the door, Sasuke gives Naruto a stern look and says, “and no ramen for breakfast.”

Naruto’s whole body seems to deflate with his resigned sigh. “Ughhh. Fine. I guess we can go to that tea shop you like then. It’s not too far out of the way. Old lady Himiko would love to see you again too. She was just asking about you the other day. Says you’re her favorite customer even if you don’t come by often.”

Sasuke gives a noncommittal hum as Naruto locks the door behind them.

—----------

The night before they leave Konoha is spent with Kakashi, Sakura and the rest of their former classmates. Sasuke knows Naruto will miss his friends so he doesn’t complain about the loud, crowded atmosphere of the bar they’re in. Well, not out loud at least. Though he has to admit, despite not being very close with most of them, he doesn’t mind spending his last night in their company. His body is still tense as it always is when in close quarters with a lot of people, but the sake they have been drinking is doing its job of loosening him up a bit.

They are all seated on the floor around a large table sharing funny stories and fond memories. Sasuke is sitting quietly at one end, sipping on his sake as he listens absentmindedly to the conversations around him. Naruto is in the middle of regaling everyone with a story about an encounter he had when he was traveling with Jiraiya, but Sasuke is not paying much attention as he’s heard the tale already. As he glances around the table, his eyes land on Sakura to see her looking down at her lap with a frown on her face. Sasuke knows she is upset about Naruto leaving with him, that she feels left behind again.

The last time they spoke was five days ago, when Naruto excitedly told her about their plans over lunch. She didn’t say much after hearing the news, but when they parted ways she had a small smile on her face, even if it didn’t make it to her eyes. Sasuke was easily able to see the pain and confusion in them and the way she couldn’t quite meet his gaze. He ran into her a few times over the next few days, but there were few words exchanged and every time was painfully awkward. He cares about Sakura and is grateful to her, but the love she claims to have for him makes being around her unbearable sometimes. He never knows quite what to say to her.

Every time he visits Konoha, Sasuke accepts her invitation when she asks him to join her for a meal. She always tries to hint that she’d like to join him, sometimes even outright asking, but Sasuke politely refuses each time. He doesn’t want to travel with her. He knows of her feelings but he does not share them and they do nothing but make him uncomfortable. Sakura seems to think that if they just spend more time together things will be different, but Sasuke knows it won’t change anything between them. She doesn’t understand him or the things that he went through, and although he considers her a friend, it will never be anything more than that.

Sasuke is pulled out of his musings when an arm is flung around his neck and he’s pulled roughly into Naruto’s side. He immediately elbows his best friend in the gut hard enough to make him wheeze and grins inwardly at the look of indignation on the blond’s face. “Hands to yourself, Usuratonkachi. You almost spilled my drink.” He looks pointedly at the cup in his hand that almost landed in his lap.

Naruto just smiles at him and takes the half full cup from his hand before downing it in one go. “There. Problem solved.”

A long suffering sigh leaves Sasuke’s mouth and he pushes the bottle in front of Naruto towards the middle of the table. “No more drinking. You’ve had enough and we’re leaving early tomorrow.”

“Pssh. You know Kurama keeps me from getting drunk, asshole. I can drink as much as I want. You’re the one who shouldn’t drink anymore. You’ll be even more crabby than you normally are if you’re hungover in the morning, ya know.”

Before Sasuke can respond with a scathing reply, he hears Kiba’s loud voice. “Are you sure you two aren’t going to actually kill each other out there?”

A knot automatically forms in Sasuke’s chest at the unintentional reminder that they already almost killed each other. He knows the other man didn’t mean anything by it, probably doesn’t even know the extent of what that event means to both him and Naruto, but it doesn’t hurt any less. His mood has immediately soured and he knows that anything out of his mouth right now will most likely be some form of discourteous remark. He glances around the table with a slight downturn of his lips, noticing that all conversation has stopped and everyone is looking his way.

He can’t help himself when he looks directly at Kiba and declares solemnly, “we already attempted that before. It didn’t work and I don’t think we’ll be trying it again.”

Laughing and rubbing the back of his head, Naruto adds, “yeah. Sasuke’s right. We won’t do anything like that anymore.” A confident grin stretches across his face and he once again throws an arm around Sasuke’s shoulders. “We’re gonna be just fine, right bastard?”

Sasuke looks at the arm around his shoulder distastefully before pushing it off. “As long as you don’t piss me off, sure.”

“Well the same goes for you, asshole!” Naruto crosses his arms and scowls at him for about five seconds before quickly turning towards Ino. “Oh hey! I forgot to ask if you-“

Sasuke tunes out the rest of the conversation and frowns down at his cup, contemplating if one last drink will indeed cause him to have a hangover the next morning. He sighs as he glances back up, and when he meets Sakura's sad, green eyes from across the table, Sasuke decides that one more drink will be worth the possibility.

He reaches for a bottle and fills his cup, praying for this night to end soon. His social quota has definitely been met and he is ready to finally leave Konoha again. This time, with his best friend beside him.

————

The nights before he leaves Konoha Sasuke normally spends awake and unable to sleep. But when he wakes the next morning, he finds himself feeling refreshed and, thankfully, not hungover. The promise of leaving with Naruto has apparently kept the nightmares and sleeplessness at bay. When he looks over at Naruto’s bed, expecting to see the moron sprawled over it and still asleep, he finds that it is empty. He moves his gaze to the clock on the wall and sees that it is only six in the morning. Confused because Naruto never wakes until at least another hour, he pushes himself from the futon and makes his way to the bedroom door after grabbing his traveling clothes. When he enters the hallway and begins to walk towards the bathroom, he hears Sakura’s voice and pauses. The front door is open just enough for him to see her and Naruto standing outside talking.

“I just don’t understand why you are doing this! You know how much I care about him and how much I wish I could go with him every time he leaves! I’ve asked so many times and he always refuses. And now all of a sudden you get to go with him? How is that fair!?” Her voice has gotten progressively louder and Sasuke sees Naruto wince and rub the back of his head.

“Sakura-chan…please calm down. And keep your voice down. I do have neighbors, ya know.” He drops his hand to his side and sighs loudly. “I’m not doing this to hurt you. It’s not my fault that he asked me to go with him and I won’t apologize for choosing to go either. Things between me and Sasuke are…different than they are with you. They always have been. And I know you know that. You’ve said as much to me before.”

Sakura sighs and seems to lose some of her steam. “I do know that. It doesn’t make it any easier to be left behind again though. Sasuke-kun always leaves and now you’re leaving too. I don’t even know when you’ll be back.”

“It won’t be forever, ya know. I’m not sure exactly when, but I’ll come back. And I’ll do my best to get Sasuke to come back for another visit. He said it may be a while before he does though. But I will definitely write to you while we’re gone!”

“Why would it be just another visit? Aren’t you going with him to finally bring him back to stay?” Her voice is insistent and confused and her face is creased into a heavy frown.

Naruto is rubbing his head again and stutters when he answers. “Oh. Well, uh…Sasuke told me…he said that he-“

Sasuke finally makes his presence known by walking to the door and opening it all the way. They both startle at the movement and turn to look at him. Sakura’s eyes are wide and her mouth drops open in shock when she sees him. Naruto’s eyes are also wide and he has a sheepish, guilty look on his face. He looks stoically at them both and says, “I told Naruto I won’t be coming back for good. Ever. I will visit but this is not my home. He understands that and I hope you will too.”

“But Sasuke-kun!” Sakura reaches out a hand towards him, but pauses and drops it back to her side. “That’s ridiculous! Konoha is where you grew up! It’s where your family is from and-“

“It’s where my family was killed. All of them. This hasn’t been my home since I was seven years old, Sakura. And it never will be again. No matter what you or anyone else thinks. If you can’t understand and accept that, then I don’t know what to tell you.”

“But what if I-“

He shakes his head and cuts her off before she can ask the question he knows she is about to. “No. It won’t happen, Sakura. Naruto is right. Things are different between him and I and it is because of that reason that I’ve asked him to join me. There’s no reason for anyone else to be involved. Whether you like it or not is of no consequence to me.” He knows he’s being a bit harsh, but it seems he still hasn’t gotten through to her. Sakura still doesn’t understand. She probably never will at this point.

He shifts his eyes to Naruto and sees him standing there looking at the ground with his arms tightly crossed and looking far too uncomfortable. Though on the inside Sasuke is positively livid, outwardly he simply frowns. This is a terrible start to what should otherwise be a pleasant day. He doesn’t want Naruto to feel bad about leaving, if he even does after this display. He has nothing left to say to Sakura, so he turns to walk to the bathroom as was his original intention before he stumbled into this mess. Over his shoulder he says with finality, “I’m done having this conversation. I’ll see you the next time I’m in Konoha. And if you’re still coming, Naruto, be ready to leave in an hour. I won’t wait any longer than that.”

About fifteen minutes later there is a timid knock on the bathroom door before he hears Naruto’s quiet voice. “I’m still coming, ya know. I said I wanted to and I meant it. Sakura being mad about this hasn’t changed anything.”

Drying himself off after his shower, Sasuke merely says, “good. Make sure to be ready to leave in less than an hour then. I really need to leave this place.”

Naruto sighs from the other side of the door. “I'll be ready. Can I meet you at the gate? There’s a couple of things I need to finish up before I can leave.”

He finishes pulling on his shirt and opens the door. Naruto has obviously been leaning back against the door since he falls into the bathroom with a surprised shout before Sasuke can exit. He throws out his arm and catches the moron before he can fall and bash his head in on the ground. A concussion is not a great way to start out on a trip. It would be terribly inconvenient.

Sasuke sets Naruto back on his feet and steps around him to make his way to the bedroom and collect his belongings. Every second he spends here has become excruciating. Over his shoulder he says, “I’ll see you at the gate, Usuratonkachi.” He watches as Naruto’s smile stretches from ear to ear before going to continue preparing for their departure.

—————

There is no one at the gate when Sasuke gets there and he sighs and hopes his idiot best friend won’t be late. He’s ready to leave this godforsaken village and not return for what will hopefully be a very long time. There is nothing left for him here and he just wants to leave it all behind and get on with his life. At least this time he’ll be leaving with Naruto by his side. It gives him a bit of sick pleasure that he’s taking the great hero of Konoha away with him. It’s time for them to see what it’s like without such light every day. It may not be for forever, but the fact that they will have to be the ones to miss Naruto now makes his departure this time even more satisfying than it normally is.

Sasuke has been waiting for fifteen minutes when he sees Kakashi approaching. He curses Naruto for indeed being late and stands there silently as the man stops in front of him. Sasuke looks at his former sensei, the Hokage, and rests his hand against the handle of his sword. The threat is implicit and he watches as Kakashi’s eyes track the movement before meeting his stare again. “You didn’t lock him in a room somewhere to stop him from leaving, did you?” Sasuke’s tone is perhaps a bit too harsh, but he’s still frustrated about the interaction with Sakura earlier and the possibility that Kakashi may be preventing Naruto from leaving makes him a bit irritated. He finally has the chance to bring Naruto along with him and he’s not going to allow anything to hinder that, not even the Hokage.

Kakashi shakes his head and sighs. “No, Sasuke, I didn’t. He’s on his way now.” The older man pauses and places his hands in his pockets casually. “He wants to go with you and it’s not my place to stop him. Besides, I believe this will be good for him. For both of you. Naruto has been working nonstop for the past three years. Helping with the reconstruction, studying for and passing his jounin exams, learning everything he needs to in order to become Hokage some day. He even spends hours in my office helping with paperwork and you know how much that bores him. He’s been doing everything he can to make Konoha a better place.”

Sasuke looks out the gate towards the woods and only says, “I know.”

He hears Kakashi sigh again before he continues. “I know you don’t mind your solitary life, Sasuke, but I will feel better knowing you have at least one friend with you. It does hurt me to know you’re always out there alone. It has been a while since the war and I know you are doing your best to find a better future for yourself. But I don’t want you to be lonely forever.”

Sasuke scoffs and directs a glare Kakashi’s way. “I’m not lonely. I just don’t need to be around a lot of people to be happy. It quite honestly makes me unhappy.”

“As much as I wish you didn’t feel that way, I get it. And even if you aren’t lonely, I do think having your best friend by your side for a while will be good for you. I hope you both enjoy your time together.”

Before he can even think of a reply, Sasuke sees Kakashi’s eyes move to look at something over his shoulder. He doesn’t need to turn around to know Naruto has finally arrived. Sasuke has felt his friend’s chakra approaching for the past two minutes. When he senses that Naruto is right behind him, he finally turns to glare at him in exasperation. “You’re late.”

Naruto puts his hands on his hips and scowls. “Barely.” He lifts a hand to rub at the back of his head. “Though I actually wasn’t quite sure if you’d actually wait or if I’d have to chase after you again.”

“Just shut up and get moving, moron.”

When he turns back towards the gate, he hears Naruto mutter, “that bastard. Thinking he can just boss me around like that.”

Sasuke ignores him and begins to walk through the imposing gate, not even stopping as he says, “my next report will be sent in two weeks. I should have enough relevant information by then.” He stops once he’s just outside the village. Without turning around, he finally removes his hand from his sword and quietly says, “take care, sensei. Thank you.”

Sasuke resumes his steps and slowly walks away without waiting for a response. He hears Naruto enthuse a loud goodbye to Kakashi that he knows is accompanied by a large smile and most likely a hug.

“Don’t forget to write. Both of you.”

“Don’t worry Kakashi-sensei. We will.” Though Naruto tries to whisper his next words, Sasuke still hears them. “I’ll try to make sure they’re not all just reports, but he’s a stubborn bastard so it may be a tough sell.”

“Farewell my students. Please take care of yourselves and each other.”

“Don’t you worry! We’ll definitely do that, ya know!”

Sasuke gives a lazy wave from over his shoulder and calls out, “get a move on or I really am leaving without you, moron.”

There’s the sound of running footsteps and then an arm is thrown over his shoulders again. Sasuke decides to allow the contact and states, “I hope this hasn’t become a habit.”

“What do you mean?”

Sasuke releases an exasperated sigh and shrugs off the arm. “Nevermind.” After a moment’s pause, he knocks their shoulders together briefly and urges, “just keep walking, Usuratonkachi.”

Naruto’s answering laugh is infectious and Sasuke finds himself smiling a real smile for the first time in what feels like forever. He’s always happy to be leaving Konoha, and this time is no different. But when he glances out of the corner of his eyes at Naruto, he realizes that this time, leaving is not the only reason for his happiness. Perhaps Kakashi is right; having his best friend at his side will be good for him. He’s looking forward to it.

Chapter Text

Leaving Konoha with no particular destination and not knowing when he will return is…weird. It’s been three years since the war, and Naruto rarely leaves the village anymore. When he does, it’s always with a clear goal or a mission to complete. But as he walks down the road with his best friend in the whole world walking next to him, he can’t help but feel incredibly happy and excited for whatever will happen on their journey together. He doesn’t get to spend much time with Sasuke, and even then it is always in Konoha. His best friend is right, he has never taken the time to go out and see what the other man’s life is like. Through the letters he’s received over the past few years, Sasuke has told him about some of the things he's seen and places he’s been. Naruto knows words on a piece of paper most likely aren’t able to do everything justice, and he is thrilled to be able to experience it all firsthand.

With his arms crossed behind his head, Naruto turns to Sasuke and sees him walking steadily and quietly down the road. There’s a tranquility to his friend's posture that he’s not sure he’s ever seen before. Even when they're spending time peacefully together during Sasuke’s visits, there’s always a certain rigidity to his body that he recognizes is caused by being in the village. He’s completely aware of the fact that being in Konoha makes Sasuke uncomfortable, and is always very grateful that he chooses to withstand his discomfort for Naruto’s sake.

He wishes Sasuke could be happy and content in the place Naruto calls home, but he meant it when he said that he understands. They both suffered a lot of horrible things in the place that should’ve been a haven for them. And while Naruto has been able to move past it, especially with the acceptance he finally receives from everyone, he knows that Sasuke hasn’t. His best friend had a loving family that was brutally ripped away from him when he was very young, and that event shaped his life in horrific and despairing ways. It sent him down a path of darkness and pain, and had him cutting off all bonds in his quest for as much power as possible. Well, all but one bond that is.

When Naruto thinks about his bond with Sasuke, he feels a sense of joy and contentment that he never does with anyone else. It never even comes close. Ever since they were two lost children all alone in the world, he has invariably been aware that there was something different between them, something special and inviolable. Naruto has always known that their connection to each other could never be broken, and the fact that Sasuke has finally recognized and accepted that makes him so happy he could cry. He sincerely doesn’t know what his life would be like if Sasuke had died, either in the war, the Final Valley, or even some ditch in the middle of nowhere. Naruto thinks he doesn’t want to know.

Seeing the agony his friend had been in all those years made him incredibly sad and even a little angry. He experienced every bit of that pain as if it was his own and just the thought of the path it sent Sasuke down, where it almost led him, is just too much sometimes. Naruto did everything in his power to guide him out of the darkness, and when he finally succeeded, was finally able to bring him home and back into the light, it was a feeling like no other. To see Sasuke in prison on the other hand, locked up in a cell with his chakra sealed and all alone save for Naruto’s weekly visits…that was a much more difficult experience. And when Sasuke left Konoha after being released, Naruto was devastated. After so long apart and spending only bite-sized pieces of time together for a few months once they were reunited, Sasuke’s departure caused Naruto to feel very lonely despite being surrounded by friends in a village he loved. He has to admit, he did think about joining Sasuke over the years, but his sense of responsibility and obligation for Konoha have always prevented him from leaving.

He shakes his head to clear the depressing thoughts so they won’t bring his mood down, even though he’s sure there’s practically nothing that could crush his spirits at the moment. He is starting a journey around the world with his best friend, and although there’s a bit of anxiety in not knowing where they’re going or what they’ll be doing, he is eager to find out.

Stretching his arms above his head to release the slight tension brought on by such distressing thoughts, he glances at Sasuke and asks, “so where are we going exactly? I know we’re traveling east, but we’ve been on the road for like three days now and haven’t come across anything besides some wild animals and a lot of trees.”

Sasuke returns his stare without turning his head, typical scowl firmly in place. “If you’re bored you can always go home.”

“No way! You’re stuck with me, bastard. Just wondering is all.”

Releasing an exasperated sigh, Sasuke’s face smoothes out and he stops walking. “Look, Naruto. I know you’re excitable and can barely stand to stay still for even five minutes, but I live a very casual and relaxed life now. I don’t make any specific plans about where I’m going or what I’m going to do, and I like to take my time as I travel. After such a long time of being constantly on the move, I find I quite enjoy such a leisurely way of life. It’s…peaceful. And I didn’t have a lot of that feeling for a very long time.” He takes a deep breath and meets Naruto’s eyes. “I understand that such a slow pace may be difficult for you to get used to, but I’m hoping you’ll be able to appreciate the calmness that can be felt when taking the time to just…wander.”

Naruto grins and tilts his head to get a better look at his friend. Sasuke’s words are illuminating and inspiring. And the fact that his friend has found that sense of peace Naruto always hoped he would, is so heartwarming that his chest is tight with all of the emotions he can barely contain. “I’m so glad you’re happy now, Sasuke. So, so glad.”

Sasuke frowns and corrects, “I’m content and at this point in my life, I feel like that’s the most I can hope for. Happiness isn’t something I feel very often.”

His mouth turning down into a frown of his own, Naruto’s heart drops a bit and his next breath is almost painful. “But Sasuke… you do feel it at least sometimes, right? There’s times when you’re truly happy?”

Sasuke’s face softens into something almost tender and fond and Naruto can see it clearly in those mismatching eyes. “Yes, Naruto. There are times when I feel that way.” He turns his head and as he resumes his stride, Sasuke says in a quiet voice, “this is one of those times.”

Naruto’s breath catches and his heart feels so full he doesn’t know what to do with all of the emotions he’s feeling. There’s the sting of oncoming tears, and since Sasuke’s back is turned to him, he doesn’t hide the way he wipes his hand across his eyes to stop the rogue droplet that threatens to fall. He takes a moment to collect himself, inhaling a deep breath before letting it out slowly. Though Sasuke didn’t say it in so many words, to hear that being with Naruto makes him happy…it has to be the greatest feeling in the world. He’s happiest when they’re together too.

——————

After a few more days of trekking slowly through dense forests, Naruto finally spots a small village at the bottom of a lush, green valley. He tugs on Sasuke’s sleeve and practically begs to stop there. He’s feeling a bit restless after a week of traveling slower than he ever has before, and while Sasuke’s company is fulfilling in its own right, he has to admit he misses the slight chaos of being in a crowd of people. He’s still unused to the quietude of the journey they’re on and he craves a bit of the commotion inevitably found in towns and villages. To his mild surprise, Sasuke relents easily with not even a scowl in his direction.

With the slow-moving pace they keep, it takes them about an hour to reach the bottom of the valley. As they get closer, Naruto realizes the town is quite a bit smaller than he had been hoping for. It's mostly just a group of compact houses along a main road which is lined with a few shops and various other buildings. He can see a few people tending to the surrounding farmland and Naruto waves excitedly as he and Sasuke approach. He perks up when they find out that despite its size the town does indeed contain a small inn. Though Naruto doesn’t really mind sleeping on the ground in the woods, the promise of a warm bed is very enticing. There is only one restaurant, and while Naruto is disappointed they don’t serve ramen, the food is tasty and filling. After finishing their meal, Sasuke leads the way to the inn so they can rent a room for the night.

It’s late afternoon when Naruto makes his way down the road in search of something to do. Sasuke has opted out of the exploration, claiming he has some missives and scrolls to look through, but Naruto’s pretty sure he just wants some time alone. Sasuke is used to being on his own, and although he hasn’t really complained about his boisterous behavior, Naruto can tell he’s feeling a bit overwhelmed.

He’s in the middle of a conversation with an elderly couple when he spots Sasuke walking down the street. Throwing an arm up and waving enthusiastically, he calls out Sasuke’s name as he approaches with a slight scowl on his face.

“Usuratonkachi. You don’t have to be so loud. You’ll get us thrown out of town with all that noise.”

Naruto sticks his tongue out childishly and punches him in the shoulder. “Not if your attitude does it first, bastard.” He immediately turns to the couple who are staring at them curiously and exclaims, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to swear like that. It’s just this guy can be so grumpy and I know it can be a bit off putting sometimes.” Rubbing at the back of his head he adds, “ he’s my best friend though so I’m kind of stuck with him.” He sees the distasteful look Sasuke throws his way but ignores it as he continues. “This is Sasuke by the way!”

Sasuke lifts his hand out of his pocket and gives a small bow. “Nice to meet you.”

Naruto raises an eyebrow at the polite gesture and words, but he supposes Sasuke has always been a pretty courteous person. When he’s not being an irritable asshole that is. Waving a hand in the direction of his new acquaintances Naruto says brightly, “this is Shinji-ojiisan and Kimiko-baachan! They were just telling me about the celebration they are having later tonight. That's why there’s all those banners and lanterns all around.”

He sees the shadow that falls over Sasuke’s eyes and has an idea of where his friend’s thoughts have gone. It is the anniversary of the war, after all. However, before Naruto can reassure him, Kimiko beats him to it.

“It’s a lantern festival to celebrate the founding of our little village. I was telling Naruto-kun here that you are both welcome to join us.” Her voice is kind and friendly and there’s a warm smile on her face as she speaks to them. “We don’t get many visitors and it’s always nice to see some fresh faces.”

Sasuke has a mildly displeased crease to his brow, probably at the thought of such a gathering, but it smooths out when he glances at Naruto before nodding his head at the couple. “Thank you. That would be nice.”

Kimiko and Shinji smile up at them from their seated position and the woman claps her hands together once before declaring, “wonderful! I think I still have some of our son’s old yukatas laying around that would fit you both perfectly!” She lays a hand on her husband’s arm before adding, “Shinji. Run in the house and grab that box in the hallway closet.”

The old man, who has been mostly silent the entire time Naruto was speaking with them, sighs as he stands up slowly. “I don’t run anywhere at my age, dear. I’ll be taking my time if that’s okay with you.”

Before Shinji is even fully on his feet, Sasuke motions him to sit back down and says, “Don’t trouble yourselves. That won’t be necessary.”

Kimiko waves a dismissive hand and shoos her husband into the house. “It’s no trouble at all. Honestly, I’m glad they’ll be going to good use. They’re doing nothing right now but collecting dust.”

“Thank you Baachan! We really appreciate it!”

Sasuke sighs from beside him and accedes, “thank you.”

“Of course! We can’t have you boys attending a festival without the proper attire, now can we?”

The edge of Sasuke’s lips curl up into the slightest smile at her words. “I suppose you’re right.”

Shinji hobbles back out of the house carrying a box with the name Kaoru written on the side. When he places it on the ground in front of his wife, she immediately opens it and begins shuffling through the contents. She seems to go through the entire box before finally pulling out two finely made yukatas. “These ones will be perfect!”

She has a tender smile as she smooths out the bright blue fabric of one of them. There’s a faraway look in her eyes as she stares down at it for a moment before she clears her throat and looks up at Naruto with a smile. She holds the yukata up in front of him with a discerning eye and then waves it in his direction. “This one is perfect for you, Naruto-kun. The color matches your eyes wonderfully!”

He accepts it gently with a large grin and holds it up to himself. The fabric is finely woven with a slight sheen to it and there is a thin, pale yellow trim around the edges of the whole thing. The simple obi is made of the same material as the yukata and matches the yellow accent color. “Wow. It’s beautiful. I don’t think I’ve ever worn anything this fancy before.”

“I’m sure you’re going to look lovely in it. It was Kaoru’s favorite. He wore it to this festival every year. I’ll be glad to see it on someone just as handsome as he was.” There's a sorrowful smile on her face and the past tense is not lost on Naruto. He briefly wonders what has happened to him, but figures it’s not his place to pry. The old couple have been very kind to them so far and he doesn’t want to ruin the mood.

Kimiko shakes her head a bit before holding the other one in her hands up to Sasuke. “This one’s for you Sasuke-kun. It’s one of my favorites. It suits you well, I think.”

Sasuke reaches out and gently takes it from her with a quiet thank you. He holds the yukata in his hand and rubs his thumb along the navy cloth. His face is pensive as he stares down at it, and Naruto’s brow creases as he wonders what his friend is thinking. Naruto folds his own over his arm with care before taking the yukata from Sasuke’s hand and holding it up in front of his friend’s chest. The navy material is trimmed with a dark red color which matches the obi and is just as exquisitely made as Naruto’s.

Naruto inspects it thoughtfully for a moment before smiling brightly. “It’s your colors, Sasuke. It’s perfect!”

His smile widens when Sasuke’s expression clears a bit and his lip curls up slightly. “If you say so.”

Nodding his head sharply, Naruto confirms, “I do say so, bastard.” He then once again turns to the elderly couple with a wince. “I’m sorry! That’s just what I call him.”

Shinji is chuckling and Kimiko gives a tinkling laugh. “You don’t have to mind your language around us, young man. Kimiko swears like a sailor most days.”

She turns to her husband with a mock offended gasp and whacks him on the arm. “Oh hush you! You’re just as bad as I am when you’re irritated!”

Laughing along with them, Naruto glances at Sasuke and notices the tension making its way into his shoulders. Deciding he should excuse them so his friend’s mood doesn’t take a turn for the worse, Naruto asks, “So what time do the festivities start? And will there be food or should we eat beforehand?”

“Oh there will be plenty of food, don’t you worry! Everyone should be gathering at the end of the street by the stream in around an hour. Plenty of time for you boys to go and change.”

“Make sure you try some of Kimiko’s peach cobbler. You won’t regret it.”

Kimiko smiles and adds, “it’s an old family recipe and seems to be quite the favorite around here.”

“We’ll definitely have a slice! Well, Sasuke doesn’t really like sweets, but I’ll make sure he at least tries a bite.”

With a promise that they’ll be sure to meet up with them later to, in Kimiko’s words, ‘show off how handsome they look all dressed up’, Naruto and Sasuke excuse themselves and head back to the inn.

Naruto waits until they enter their room before turning to Sasuke with a questioning look. “Hey. You were pretty quiet back there. Well, I mean, not to say you’re a very talkative person to begin with, but I dunno.” He shrugs and scrunches his eyes a bit in concern. “Is everything okay? Do you not wanna go tonight? ‘Cause we totally don’t have to if you just want to hang out here in the room.”

Sasuke sighs as he sets the yukata in his hand gently over the back of a chair. “It’s fine. Just a bit lost in thought. The exchange we just had brought up some memories. Things I haven’t thought about in a long time.” He shakes his head a bit and looks over at Naruto. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry.” He pauses and gives Naruto a once over. “Go get a shower before you put on that yukata. What on earth were you doing to get so dirty anyway?”

Rubbing his head sheepishly, Naruto laughs and responds, “well I saw Shinji-ojiisan trying to push a wheelbarrow full of hay to their barn and offered to help. Thing is though, I kinda…tripped over a rock and fell into a small ditch. So uh, yeah...” He waves a hand to absently indicate his muddy clothes.

Sasuke just gives him a blank stare before snorting and turning away. “Of course you did, Usuratonkachi.”

Crossing his arms loosely so as not to crease the fine material of the yukata he’s still holding, Naruto turns towards the bathroom. “Whatever. You better take one too though. You may not be as dirty as me, but you still smell after a week in the woods, you asshole.” He hears a grunted agreement from Sasuke before closing the door behind him.

When Naruto exits the bathroom garbed in the fine yukata, he finds Sasuke sitting primly in a chair seemingly engrossed with his journal. “Hey, Sasuke. Does it look okay?” He puts his arms out and turns slowly when the other man looks up. When Sasuke just stares at him and doesn’t respond, he frowns and tilts his head. “Well? Does it?”

His friend seems to shake himself out of the slight stupor he was in and turns his head back down to his book with a crease on his brow and a slight frown. “It’s fine.”

Naruto places a hand on his hip and mumbles, “Wouldn’t kill you to give a compliment, ya know.”

The dark haired man sighs as he closes his book and stands before meeting Naruto’s eyes. “You look…nice.”

A smile grows on his face as he nods his head and says, “see? It didn’t kill you.”

Rolling his eyes, Sasuke brushes past him to go wash up and change. “You’re the only thing capable of that.” Naruto frowns at the bathroom door and folds his arms. He wonders if Sasuke was trying to make a joke or something, before deciding that it doesn’t matter because, well, it’s true.

Naruto is sitting at the small table in the corner, working on a letter to Sakura and looks up at the sound of the bathroom door sliding open. He stands as Sasuke enters the room, head down and seemingly struggling with the obi. Naruto clears his throat to catch his friend’s attention. There's a severe frown on his face as he looks up and asks sharply, “what?”

“Do you, uh, need some help?”

The scowl deepens before falling away with the long breath Sasuke lets out as he closes his eyes. “I can do almost everything one handed now, but tying is always a bit difficult. Especially now since I don’t want to ruin the fabric.” When he opens his eyes to look at Naruto, there’s a slightly ashamed tint to them. Naruto reads the swirling emotions in those black and purple depths easily and can tell that the deficiency in ability due to his handicap is frustrating him. For someone as capable as his best friend, such a small hurdle over something as simple as tying an obi must be disheartening.

Naruto simply walks over with a compassionate smile and lifts up the ends of the obi as Sasuke holds the yukata closed. Focusing on his task, Naruto carefully wraps the material around Sasuke’s waist before tying it properly as he says lightly, “it’s okay to ask for help sometimes, ya know. I don’t mind.”

When he finishes the tie, he runs his fingers over it to gently smooth out a tiny wrinkle in the fabric and looks up. They’re standing face to face very closely and the expression on Sasuke’s face is a strange mix of something between awkward and confused. Naruto tilts his head to the side and scrunches his eyes a bit. “You alright?”

Sasuke blinks a couple of times before looking away pointedly and stepping around him. “I’m fine, Usuratonkachi. Thanks.”

He looks at the back of spiky, dark tresses and frowns in puzzlement over his friend’s strange behavior. Sasuke rarely ever looks confused and almost certainly never awkward. The other man is usually one of the most composed and self assured people he’s ever met. There’s not much that can unnerve Sasuke. “What’s with you? You change your mind about going or something?”

Sasuke is already opening the door to leave when he replies dismissively, “it’s fine. Let’s go.”

Sighing for what feels like the hundredth time that day, Naruto follows him out the door. “Why’s everything ‘fine’ with you, huh? I know you know fancier words than that, bastard.”

Sasuke doesn’t respond and is resolutely silent as they leave the inn and make their way towards the small mass of villagers at the end of the road. Naruto stares at the side of his face contemplatively the whole way, wondering what could have possibly caused such a reaction. He decides to shrug it off and looks around the crowd as they walk slowly through on their way to a gazebo near the water where Kimiko had said she’d be waiting with her famous peach cobbler.

She smiles widely when she sees them and pats her hand on Shinji’s arm to steer his attention away from his plate of food, and when he looks up there’s a friendly smile on his face too. “You boys look so handsome! I just knew they would suit you perfectly!”

Naruto rubs a hand across the back of his head self consciously and can feel his cheeks warm in slight embarrassment at the compliment. It’s certainly more than the ‘nice’ that Sasuke had proclaimed. Sasuke, apparently more composed than he was back in their room, bows politely and says, “thank you Kimiko-san. We really appreciate you loaning these to us. We’ll be sure to clean and return them to you before we leave.”

Huffing and waving her hand absently she exclaims, “oh heavens no! You’ll be taking those with you when you leave, young man. I won’t take no for an answer!” She folds her hands on the table in front of her and smiles a bit forlornly. “I’m really glad they’re able to get some use instead of sitting in an old dusty closet. It’s lovely to see them being worn again, especially by two handsome young men such as yourselves. Make sure you bring them along with you if you ever decide to stop by our quaint little village again.”

Naruto can tell her heartfelt words have affected Sasuke in some way by the slightly sorrowful look on his face. His own heart has warmed at her kind sentiments and he smiles widely as he bows. “Thank you Kimiko-baachan! We’ll make sure we do. I’d love to come back and see you guys again sometime! It’d be nice, eh Sasuke?”

Clearing his throat a bit, Sasuke bows as well. “Yes. I’m sure we could find our way back here sometime. Thank you again.”

Kimiko claps her hands together and rubs them together. “Great! Now how about you try some of this cobbler?”

They both graciously accept the slices of cobbler she hands them and it is just as delicious as promised. Sasuke even finishes the whole thing, though Naruto’s not sure if he really liked it or was just being polite.

After a few more words exchanged between them, Sasuke and Naruto excuse themselves respectfully and head towards the water. There seems to be a large table set up with small boats carrying lanterns across it. A few people are already sending them down the stream and Naruto grabs at Sasuke’s hand to pull him over to get one of their own.

Sasuke makes an aborted motion like he’s about to yank his hand back, but seemingly decides against it and allows the contact. Naruto smiles widely at him and only drops his hold when they arrive at the lanterns. He sees Sasuke staring at his own hand as if he’s never seen it before and once again wonders about his peculiar behavior. He shrugs it off as he’s handed a boat and holds it carefully as it’s lit.

Sasuke insists on carrying the lantern to the water, claiming Naruto would just end up dropping it before they even got there. When they place the boat on the water and stand back, Naruto watches as it joins the few dozen other tiny lights floating down the gentle current and sighs happily. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Yes. It is.” Naruto turns to face him only to find Sasuke staring at him rather than the stunning sight of the lanterns. He watches as the smallest hint of color rises to his friend’s pale face as he turns away to look upon the lights. Naruto feels his own cheeks warm for some reason and covers it up by asking, “What is with you today? You’ve been acting weird all day.”

Sasuke begins to walk along the water’s edge and beckons him with a wave of his hand. “Follow me. We should be able to get a better view from over here. I saw a nice spot on our way into town.”

Naruto crosses his arms and frowns at the dismissal, but he obediently follows after his friend. Sasuke leads him up a small dirt path along an outcropping of rocks which leans over a bend in the stream. They find a well maintained wooden bench at the top of the overhang and take a seat to look out and watch the floating lanterns. “You were right. This is a great view.” He glances at Sasuke from the corner of his eye and sees him looking down at the water with a small, serene smile on his face. The pink color is gone from his cheeks and Naruto passively wonders if he just imagined it. He turns his gaze back to the lights and sighs happily. “I like it here. We should definitely try to come back sometime.”

Sasuke hums in agreement before shifting his weight a bit to pull a small package from his pocket. Naruto stares curiously as a pale hand is extended to him haltingly and accepts the package when it is impatiently waved at him. “Take it.” He sets it on his lap and carefully pulls it open to find a small keychain with Kurama’s imposing figure printed on it. He turns it over in his hand before looking at Sasuke in silent question. The other man releases a small breath and glances at him. “It’s nothing. I found it in Konoha and thought you might like it. Must’ve been made for the anniversary or something. Souvenirs, I suppose.”

He stares back down at the trinket for a moment and then looks back at Sasuke to find his gaze on him. “Thanks. I do like it. Not sure how Kurama would feel about such a thing being sold, but it’s nice.”

They just sit there silently looking at each other for a bit before a small, fond smile finds its way onto Sasuke’s face and he whispers, “Happy Birthday, Naruto.”

Naruto’s eyes widen in surprise as he suddenly realizes what day it is. “Oh. I, uh…thank you.”

“I’m sorry we haven’t ever really spent your birthday together.” Sasuke winces slightly before adding, “well, at least not in any positive way…” His voice trails off in an almost painful manner and Naruto knows he’s thinking about that day at the Final Valley.

He’s just opening his mouth to respond when he hears a longsuffering sigh from deep within him and suddenly finds himself looking up at Kurama. The bijuu has his giant head resting on his crossed front paws and the most disgusted look Naruto has ever seen on his face. “This is excruciating to watch.”

Naruto, taken off guard by the sudden conversation from the beast that has been curiously silent since he left with Sasuke, frowns in confusion. “Huh? What are you talking about? And where have you been anyways? It’s been like two weeks since you’ve said a word to me.”

Kurama turns his head to lay it down and says dismissively, “I never speak to you when that Uchiha brat is around. I don’t like him or what he can do with those cursed eyes of his.”

Naruto points his finger at him and shouts, “hey! That’s my best friend you’re talking about! And his eyes aren’t cursed. They’re amazing!”

A large, red eye stares down at him in disgust. “I think I like him even less now.”

“What are you even talking about?” Naruto is positively bewildered and crosses his arms with a slight pout.

“You’ll figure it out, you oblivious human.” His eye closes as he curls up into his arms. “Now get out of here. I’m going back to sleep.”

Naruto is forcefully pushed back into reality to find Sasuke staring at him and frowning. His brow is creased and there’s a tinge of concern in his eyes. “You okay?”

Naruto blinks rapidly to adjust to the sudden expulsion and shakes his head. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. Was talking to Kurama.”

Sasuke raises an elegant eyebrow and looks just as displeased as the bijuu did. “Kurama? What, was he mad about the keychain after all?”

“What? Oh. No, nothing like that. Just saying some confusing things. Talking about how he likes you even less than before.”

Sasuke shrugs his shoulders and turns his head away. “Not really surprising. I did imprison him with the intent to destroy him.”

Naruto frowns deeply and puts a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. “Hey, that’s not…” he trails off and sighs. “Nevermind.” He pauses a moment in thought before removing his hand and continuing. “He never talks to me when I’m with you, so I was just taken off guard. He went back to sleep though and it’ll probably be awhile until he speaks to me again given that we’re traveling together now.”

A noncommittal hum leaves Sasuke’s mouth and Naruto leans back against the bench with his arms folded across his chest loosely. “He called me oblivious and said I’d figure it out. Whatever that means.”

“Are you bothered by it?”

“By what? Being told I’m stupid?”

Leaning his own back against the bench, Sasuke turns to him and clarifies, “by him not speaking to you when I’m around.”

Naruto looks at him incredulously before uncrossing his arms and leaning forward a bit. “No. He can dislike you and your eyes all he wants. At least he’s not constantly insulting you or anything.”

“It wouldn’t offend me if he did. It’s the least I deserve, honestly.”

He slaps Sasuke’s arm before pointing a finger in his face. “Stop that. No getting all wallowy and depressed. It’s my birthday, bastard. We’re finally celebrating it together and I don’t want to spend it with you being all mopey.”

His hand is slapped out of the way to expose an annoyed scowl. “I’m not being mopey. I’m simply stating facts, you moron.”

“Well, quit it. We can commiserate about the past some other time. For now, let’s just enjoy each other's company and the pretty lights.”

“Sure,” Sasuke agrees quietly.

After a few minutes sitting next to his best friend on his birthday, doing nothing but staring at the floating lights on the water, Naruto leans his head against Sasuke’s shoulder and sighs happily. “Thanks, Sasuke. Not just for the keychain or anything, just…” He pauses before whispering, “this is the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

He feels the shoulder beneath his head sag into a more comfortable position and adjusts his head a bit. There’s the slightest pressure on the top of his head as Sasuke rests his own head against it. “I’m glad.”

The next morning, Sasuke tells him they’ll be leaving after breakfast. On their way to the restaurant, they pass by the elderly couple’s house and watch as Kimiko comes out the door. Once again, there’s a friendly smile stretching across her face as she beckons them over before insisting they come in and eat with her and Shinji. Naruto accepts wholeheartedly on their behalf, and after a delicious meal and affable conversation, they bid their farewells and promise to come visit again sometime soon.

When they reach the top of the valley, Naruto turns to look back down at the little town blissfully before turning to Sasuke. “Hey. Think we could come back here next year?”

Sasuke glances at him briefly before turning his own gaze to the small village tucked away in the valley. “I’d like that.”

Chapter Text

Traveling with Naruto for the first time since they were doing missions together on Team 7 has been a fulfilling experience. He wasn’t sure exactly what it would be like when he invited Naruto along, but he has yet to regret it. Without the oppressive feelings of being in Konoha while spending time with his best friend, he finds himself able to enjoy their closeness to a higher degree. Even the sense of peace he always feels in Naruto’s company is never able to fully erase the tension and uneasiness that he feels when in Konoha. The tranquility he experiences when on the open road has been infinitely improved with the added presence of his closest bond, and he finds himself dreading the day Naruto finally decides to return. They’ve barely begun their journey together and already Sasuke knows he will never feel the tranquility he’s been enjoying once he is inevitably alone on his travels again.

Since his friend is unaccustomed to the sedate pace Sasuke tends to keep, he is naturally a bit restless and understimulated. There’s quite a few times after waking and cleaning up camp where the blond immediately takes off running, and Sasuke is forced to sprint after him. He tends to let these occasions slide. Naruto chased after him for years so perhaps it’s only fair he does some chasing of his own sometimes. Whenever he inevitably catches up to Naruto and sees the bright smile on his face and the exhilaration in his eyes, he figures it’s not so awful to break his leisurely stride with an occasional run. Sometimes Naruto will even challenge him to a race, and unable to turn down the goading remarks, Sasuke will accept with provocations of his own. The adrenaline from both the exercise and friendly competition is usually enough to sate Naruto’s impatience for a while, and Sasuke has to admit the thrill of it all is not totally unwelcome.

In the times when a simple contest of endurance isn’t enough to relieve Naruto’s need for perpetual motion, Sasuke will suggest they find somewhere to train for a bit. They’ve sparred many times during his visits to Konoha and as always are quite evenly matched. They fight until they can’t stand anymore before collapsing to the ground and smiling at each other while they catch their breaths. It’s always been exhilarating to fight Naruto, and the nostalgia of past missions and fights is always strongest on these occasions.

Whenever they stop to rest their feet or have a meal, Sasuke usually pulls out his journal and sits quietly under a tree or by a stream. He would hesitate to call it a diary, but that’s essentially what the book is. It contains not only simple observations and relevant information to his journey, but his deepest, darkest thoughts and feelings. Unable to keep still and obviously curious as to what Sasuke could possibly be writing down, Naruto unfailingly tries to look over his shoulder to find out. And each attempt is unfailingly met with either an elbow to the gut or a hand shoving his face away. Sasuke doesn’t want anyone reading what is written in this book. He and Naruto may be able to see into each other’s hearts, and he knows intrinsically that his best friend would never judge him for anything, but there are still a lot of things that Sasuke has yet to allow him to get a glimpse of. There are still threads of darkness and despair in his heart that continue to plague him, and cracks that despite time and effort haven’t been fully mended. Sometimes Sasuke isn’t sure it’s even possible for everything to be fully healed. There are things that perhaps not even Naruto’s light can fully brighten.

After leaving that quaint village, the next couple of weeks are spent traveling further east towards the sea, and Sasuke knows that the ruins of Uzushiogakure are tucked away on an island not far off the coast in front of them. When he mentions that he saw it briefly during the war and suggests they check it out, Naruto agrees excitedly. They find a small port town where they’re able to rent a boat, and cross the slightly choppy water to Uzushio.

Just as the last time Sasuke saw it, there’s a haunting beauty to the destroyed village they walk through. Naruto is silent beside him, lost in thought with a despondent frown on his face. Wanting to cheer him up a bit, he asks him if he’d like a memento of the former home of his clan. When Naruto looks over at him with a slightly more cheerful expression and nods, Sasuke leads him to the building containing the sealing masks the village was once known for.

The building is the same as before, crumbling and barely standing, but still housing the masks along what was once the back wall. Naruto paces down the row, eyes moving quickly over each mask before deciding on one that has vaguely fox-like features.

He holds the mask in front of him with great care and asks unsurely, “Is it really okay if I take this?”

Sasuke looks at him with a raised brow. “It’s not like anyone’s going to complain. Besides, they’d probably be happy to know that a member of the Uzumaki family has been back here after so long. At least I’d like to think they would.”

A small, grateful smile is sent his way before Naruto focuses back on the mask in his hands. “Yeah. You’re probably right. Thanks.”

They exit the building and make their way to what appears to be a central plaza. There’s a small section of what was once a shrine still standing in the center, dilapidated but still beautiful. After bowing in front of it and saying a silent prayer to whichever deity it was intended for, they walk a bit further down the deteriorating streets.

Sasuke can see the bittersweetness of seeing such a once beautiful place in Naruto’s eyes whenever he catches a glimpse. He knows the blond is feeling somber and dispirited. It can be read in every line of his body even if Sasuke wasn’t able to perceive it in his expression.

“Can we stay the night here? Like, that’s not weird or anything, right? I mean it’s practically a graveyard, ya know?”

Sasuke acquiesces with a nod and says, “it’s not weird. Unless you’re too scared?”

For the first time since they arrived, there’s an emotion other than misery in those expressive blue eyes; irritation. Sasuke will take it. It’s infinitely better than the despondent way Naruto was previously acting. “What the fuck, bastard? I’m not scared. Are you?”

Smirking at his success in pulling less sorrowful emotions from his best friend, he leans in close and whispers teasingly, “scaredy-cat.”

Naruto shoves him away with a scowl on his face before crossing his arms and stomping off. “Whatever, Teme. Let’s just find a place to set up camp.”

Sasuke follows along as the blond finds a small grove of trees on the outskirts of the wreckage. Naruto unpacks their meager camping supplies from a storage scroll while Sasuke starts a fire to cook the plump rabbit they found earlier.

Night falls and they sit side by side on Naruto’s bedroll staring at the flames. The cold October night is made more so by the breeze coming in off the water so they’re huddled under their traveling cloaks close to the fire. The sounds of the indigenous insects are a low buzzing melody in the background, occasionally accompanied by the hoot of an owl or the rustling of the leaves in the wind. It's a very peaceful atmosphere and Sasuke is quite content to simply spend the rest of the night just like this.

He startles a bit when Naruto slumps over to rest his head against the remaining part of his left arm and looks at what he can see of the blond's face. His eyes widen when he sees the tears running down whiskered cheeks and hears a quiet sniffle. “Naruto?”

He watches as a tan hand reaches up in an unsuccessful attempt at covering up the evidence of his mourning. “I’m okay. It's just…this is the closest I’ve ever been to something of my family’s.” His face turns slightly to bury into Sasuke’s shoulder, and he’s not even mad that there’s tears, and quite possibly snot, being rubbed into the fabric of his cloak. “I know it’s not the same since I didn’t even know any of the ones who died here, but…is this what it was like? Seeing your clan's empty homes fall into disrepair?” He sniffles again before whispering, “it hurts, Sasuke. A lot.”

Sasuke can only stare with his jaw tensed and once he’s able to loosen the muscles, he replies just as quietly, “yes. It does.” He pointedly ignores the question about his family. This is what it was like, but Sasuke really doesn't feel like going down that rabbit hole of emotional trauma.

Naruto lets out a choked cry and tightly grabs onto the front of Sasuke’s shirt. He bites his lip and hesitates for a moment before deciding to try to comfort his best friend. Slowly, he reaches his arm across his chest and places his hand on the back of Naruto's head. When he hears him take in a thick, shaky breath, Sasuke cautiously threads his fingers into thick golden hair and pulls him a little closer. Almost immediately, Naruto buries his face into Sasuke’s neck and throws his arms around his waist before breaking out into loud, gasping sobs which shake his whole body.

For the first time since he lost it, Sasuke wishes he still had his left arm. He’d like to be able to wrap it around Naruto’s back to hold him a little tighter and provide more comfort than he’s currently able to. Cursing the consequence of his many horrible mistakes, he turns his body a bit and Naruto takes the silent offer to curl up against him as he continues shaking and crying in despair. Sasuke knows this feeling far too intimately, and his own pain is beginning to drown him along with Naruto’s. He feels a tear roll down his cheek and tucks his face into that soft, bright blond hair. It tickles his cheek a bit, but Sasuke pays it no mind. Instead, he just holds his best friend as close as he’s able to and turns his head to press his lips softly against the top of Naruto’s head in a barely there kiss.

Still sobbing, Naruto buries his face a bit closer and his hold around Sasuke’s body tightens almost painfully. Laying his cheek against Naruto’s head, he soothingly runs his hand down the back of it to curl his fingers around the nape of his neck, and Sasuke can feel a few more tears fall from his own tightly shut eyes.

Despite his best efforts to not to fall into the anguish he always feels when thinking of his family, Sasuke can feel himself slowly sinking into it. Naruto is right. It is painful. After the deaths of his entire clan, Sasuke watched as the Uchiha compound slowly wasted away. Buildings that once stood strong and beautiful began to fall into disrepair. There was no one left to take care of it but a young, broken boy slowly becoming engulfed with despair and loneliness. With no one else left to live there, it became nothing but a place of ghosts and nightmares. It contained too many memories, both good and bad.

His mother sending him off to school with a lovingly made bento and promising to help him with his shuriken training; finally gaining his father’s approval when he was able to use his clan’s Gokakyu no Jutsu after training for days to complete it; his beloved older brother carrying him home on his back after Sasuke sprained his ankle trying to mimic Itachi’s shuriken jutsu. Arriving home late after training for hours and finding the bodies of his clan laying in the streets; running home to find his parents dead on the floor of his family home with Itachi standing over them holding a bloody sword; returning the following day to walk through the streets in the pouring rain, his mind in so much agony that all he could do was cry again and again.

Even after he moved into a small apartment on the other side of the village, Sasuke couldn’t help but to find himself wandering the empty streets of a previously lively compound. All of those joyful memories became superimposed with the horrific ones his brother had imprinted into his mind and gave him the drive to acquire as much power as possible in order to avenge his massacred clan. That gruesome, painful night began his downward spiral, forcing him into the darkness with no desire to return to the light. Instead of pushing himself to his limits to catch up to his brother, his goal instead became to hunt him down and kill him.

He keeps falling and falling further into thoughts and memories. The subsequent years spent diving headlong into the hatred that had dug itself deep into his heart; cutting off all his ties to the place he once called home and all of the people within it; discovering the painful truth about the massacre and Konoha’s involvement in it and causing him to lose his sanity; the shadows enveloping his entire being, mind, body, and spirit; hitting rock bottom and willing to do anything to finally sever the bond with his only friend and live an eternity of hatred and solitude in total darkness.

The light that finally saved him and pulled him kicking and screaming out of that darkness; the light of the strongest bond he ever had and the only one he was never able to break; laying side by side dying with that light and finally realizing there could be another path to a better future.

It’s a heartbreaking moment, but Sasuke has never felt closer to his best friend. He always knew that they felt each other’s pain deeply, but to share it like this, to silently give comfort and receive it back so thoroughly, makes it a beautiful one too. Curled up with the only light he has been able to find since that horrific night, Sasuke feels like he could stay like this forever.

Naruto eventually cries himself to sleep, so Sasuke carefully lays him down onto the bedroll and tucks him in before lying on his own. There’s only about a foot of space between them and as he gazes at Naruto’s face, lax with sleep, he slowly reaches out his hand. Cautiously laying it on the side of Naruto’s face, he rubs his thumb gently under a closed lid that covers those bright, blueblueblue eyes from his view. With a quiet sigh, he removes his hand and places it atop the tan one resting on the ground beside Naruto’s head before closing his own eyes. He’s prepared for nightmares featuring all of those painful memories but hopes the solace of sleeping beside Naruto will have him dreaming of the pleasant ones instead.

Sasuke wakes from a blissfully dreamless sleep to find Naruto laying silently staring at him. He gazes back just as quietly and realizes neither of them have moved at all in their sleep and his hand is still covering Naruto’s. Since he doesn’t seem to mind the contact, Sasuke wraps his fingers around the loosely curled fist and squeezes reassuringly. Slowly, Naruto turns his hand a bit so they are more properly clasped together and gives him a small, content smile.

His voice is rough with the remnants of sleep and all of his crying the previous night. “Thank you for being here with me, Sasuke.” The words are breathed quietly into the space between them.

“Of course. I’m always here,” he promises in a whisper. He knows without Naruto saying it aloud that the same is true for him. Despite the cool temperature of the morning air, Sasuke has never felt warmer.

After spending the rest of the morning just laying there facing each other in sympathetic silence, they finally rise and pack up their things. The walk and boat ride are also spent mostly without speaking. No words are needed between them when they can just share a look and read it all in each other’s eyes. Sasuke knows they have always had a close connection, but something about the previous night seems to have strengthened that bond even more.

When they return the boat and inquire if there’s anywhere to get a warm meal, they are given directions to a small inn which, according to the boatmaster, has the tastiest fish in the world. It is indeed very delicious fish, and after finishing a late lunch, they continue on their way.

——————————

Sasuke is frustrated. It’s been about two weeks since that mournful night they spent in the ruins of Uzushiogakure, and Sasuke is frustrated. Almost every night since then, they have slept in very close quarters reminiscent of the time in Uzushio. Some nights, they almost instinctively reach out to hold hands and just lay there in the comfort of each other's gaze. Those times are both the best and the worst.

Sasuke has a problem. It’s not a very big one in the grand scheme of things, but it’s a very inconvenient one. He has been waking up hard, and due to the constant presence of the apparent cause of the problem, his once peaceful mornings have been soured a bit by the awkwardness of either having to find ways to conceal his erections or stubbornly willing them away. He’s thankful that Naruto hasn’t seemed to notice yet and dreads the day he inevitably does. He’s just glad the only times it seems to happen are when he wakes up. It would be painfully awkward for it to randomly happen midday while they’re bathing in a river or something.

He’s never given the idea of sex, or anything of the sort, very much attention besides irritation at such an innate vulnerability to his body and the cursory touch needed to relieve a teenage boy going through puberty. He had goals to accomplish and didn’t want or need frivolous things such as pleasure. And even now as a young adult living a wandering, carefree life, he hasn’t had any other experience in those regards.

So needless to say, Sasuke has a problem and Sasuke is frustrated.

He has no idea how to deal with these new and unexpected…urges he’s been having towards his best friend. Urges to hold him tight and never let go if only to feel that same sense of closeness and comfort he felt when they both fell apart in the ruins of Uzushio. Urges to do whatever it takes to keep that light shining so it will never fade into the despair of that night. Urges to push a stray strand of bright blond hair falling into Naruto’s eyes so it doesn’t hide that blueblueblue. Urges to take hold of his hand in the light of day and not just when they’re falling asleep at night. Urges to kiss that sunny smile whenever it’s directed his way instead of simply responding with a small one of his own. And despite only vaguely knowing exactly what it entails, urges for more.

He’s not sure exactly when the feelings really began, but he’s pretty sure it was that evening spent watching floating lanterns make their way down a stream in a small nameless town. Seeing Naruto in that blue yukata, which did indeed match his eyes perfectly, had him staring dumbfounded with the passing thought that Naruto looked…beautiful all dressed up. The rest of that night, the peacefulness and contentment he felt from both himself and Naruto, had him noticing things he never paid much attention to before. The bright, ocean blue of his expressive eyes; the sound of his exuberant, carefree laughs; the gentle curve of his smiling lips; his unabashed joy being displayed for all to witness; the unfamiliar but not unwelcome weight of Naruto’s head on his shoulder. Every little thing. It was disconcerting and baffling.

The night and morning in Uzushio was when it worsened considerably. He has always felt the understanding and acceptance of the powerful bond between them, but that night curled up in a weepy embrace and the subsequent morning spent holding hands… he has never felt more connected to Naruto. Sasuke has decided that he will just deal with it all for now and if something comes from it, great. If not, that’s fine too he supposes.

Sasuke has a problem and Sasuke is frustrated.

It’s another night, spent in front of another campfire, in another copse of trees, just sitting silently together and contemplating the flames in front of them. Naruto has been particularly fidgety the entire day, and after the fifth sigh from him in about as many minutes, Sasuke is about to ask what the fuck is up with him. He’s just opened his mouth to do so when Naruto finally speaks up.

“I think I know what Kurama was talking about, now.”

It feels so out of the blue, and for a minute Sasuke doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Then he remembers that Kurama had confused Naruto by calling him oblivious and saying he’d figure it out. Once again, he’s about to respond when Naruto mumbles under his breath.

“Would you shut up already?” Sasuke frowns in slight offense before Naruto says a bit louder, “sorry. Kurama’s just being an absolute dick right now.” And a little louder, “Shut. Up. Go back to sleep, you insufferable asshole!”

Brows raised and feeling a bit concerned, Sasuke tentatively asks, “are you alright?”

Naruto turns annoyed eyes to him and practically growls through clenched teeth, “if this stupid fucking fox would just shut up and go the fuck back to sleep, I’d be fucking peachy.”

“Okay…” Sasuke draws out unsurely.

“Just…gimme a minute.”

He scans Naruto’s face, taking in the creased brow, the deep scowl…the pretty, blueblueblue eyes. Sasuke’s lips turn down with apprehension and his eyes narrow in uneasiness. “Sure…”

It takes about ten minutes of sitting in silence before Naruto sighs heavily. “Finally. God damn, he’s a persistent fucker.”

Sasuke turns to Naruto and sees him with his head buried into his arms and resting on his raised knees. The blond slowly shifts his head in his arms to face Sasuke and smiles awkwardly. “Sorry about that. He’s not normally like this, well, I mean, not in a long time at least.”

There’s a light flush on Naruto’s whiskered cheeks and his eyes are flashing with a whirling mess of rapidly cycling emotions. Embarrassment, confusion, fear; happiness, affection, hope; all shining as clear as day. He’s seen all of it in those eyes at some point, though rarely at the same time, and never accompanied by…yearning?

Sasuke’s gaze flicks down to see Naruto wetting his lips briefly before pressing them together tightly. He swiftly flicks his eyes back up to meet gleaming, blueblueblue again. His heart is suddenly thumping erratically, and his lungs are holding in the breath he has yet to release after seeing that new, unfamiliar emotion in Naruto’s captivating stare. He can feel a traitorous warmth rising to his cheeks, and wonders what kinds of feelings Naruto can read in his eyes. He slowly lets out an unsteady breath, trying to recalibrate himself and ease the unanticipated longing suddenly overtaking him. Or perhaps not totally unanticipated; he's been feeling this sense of uneasiness quite often over the past couple weeks due to his newfound attraction towards Naruto.

He watches as Naruto inhales a deep breath and holds it for a moment before releasing it shakily in what looks like an attempt to steady his nerves. His voice is low and unsure as he whispers, “hey, Sasuke?” After his hushed sound of acknowledgement, Naruto lifts his head and turns it towards the fire. He’s fiddling with the hem of his sleeve anxiously and glances at Sasuke from the corner of his eye. “Can I…try something?”

Confused and a bit curious, Sasuke answers with an apprehensive, “…sure.”

Seeming to have steeled himself for whatever it is, the other man turns his body towards Sasuke and sits cross legged. When Naruto places a hand on his cheek and leans in, Sasuke’s eyebrows raise as the blond presses a tender, fleeting kiss against the corner of his mouth before pulling back with an even more vivid blush and a cautious, questioning gaze.

With his heart once again pounding uncontrollably in his chest, Sasuke can only stare back in astonishment. When he fails to respond in any way, Naruto bites his lip nervously and lowers his hand from Sasuke’s face. “Was that…okay? I’m sorry if it was weird or-“

Sasuke cuts him off mid sentence by lightly laying his lone hand on Naruto’s cheek and resolutely leaning in. The kiss is slightly clumsy and brief and Sasuke pulls back only far enough to study Naruto’s wide blueblueblue eyes before pressing their lips together again. There’s a bit more pressure between their mouths this time, and the chaste contact quickly transforms into something far more indecent. Naruto throws his arms to tightly encircle his shoulders and Sasuke’s hand shifts to tilt the blond head for a better angle. Their mouths move almost hungrily against each other now, and the kiss is wet and slightly uncoordinated with inexperience, but it is perfect. And as it is with every other clash between the two of them, it is explosive.

Sasuke can control fire and lightning, but never before has he felt such heat and electricity. It shocks his heart as the warmth runs through his veins. He wants to devour Naruto. It’s an intrinsic, desperate need and at this moment, it's like that need could never be quenched; could never be enough. Their mouths move urgently against each other, Naruto’s hands grasping desperately at Sasuke’s shoulders while his own is pushing into soft hair to thread his fingers through the golden strands. It’s becoming hard to take enough air into his lungs and must be the same for Naruto because they pull back simultaneously to gasp for oxygen.

Chest heaving in an attempt to catch his breath, Naruto takes Sasuke’s face into his hands and mutters, “Sasuke…your eye is-“

“Just shut up and come here, Usuratonkachi.”

The demand is met with a displeased scowl as Naruto mumbles, “don’t tell me what to do, asshole.”

Sasuke ignores his indignation and pulls him back in to get more of the blazing fire that’s quickly consuming him. He realizes his Sharingan has been unintentionally activated. He can feel the chakra lightly pulsing behind his right eye, and he keeps it focused on blueblueblue so he’ll never be able to forget this moment. Naruto hasn’t closed his eyes either and is staring back with awe swimming in the depths of those deep oceans. Sasuke is greedy for more; more heat, more contact, more passion, more closeness, just moremoremore. He wants to take anything and everything from Naruto and give it back a thousandfold.

Naruto clings to him, shoving his hands into dark hair and grabbing at the tresses desperately, and Sasuke needs to be closer. He can’t stand the space between their bodies, minuscule as it is, so he wraps his arm around Naruto’s waist to pull him closerclosercloser. The blond climbs eagerly into his lap with a stifled moan and Sasuke groans into his mouth at the sudden weight on his positively throbbing erection. The passionate kiss breaks as they lean their foreheads together and share an intense stare. Sasuke can see all of his own emotions reflecting back at him and it feels like a missing puzzle piece sliding into place. Perhaps this was an inevitability between the two of them. A culmination of the connection perpetually tying them together.

When Naruto gives a tentative roll of his hips, Sasuke squeezes his eyes shut as he tries and fails to contain another groan. “Fuck! That’s…fuck…”

The swear is loud in the otherwise quiet woods and he feels Naruto nodding his head rapidly against his own. “Yeah…”

Sasuke, having never experienced any contact or pressure like this against such a neglected part of his body, tugs Naruto impossibly closerclosercloser and gives a tentative thrust upwards. This time, it’s Naruto who swears. “Oh shit.” It’s breathed out on an exhale and the sound is so satisfying, Sasuke repeats the action to hear it again. When he does it a third time, Naruto meets his motion with another slow roll of his hips and uses his hold on Sasuke’s head to force their lips back together.

From there, it’s an eager and desperate clashing with their hands pulling each other closer. And since they can’t possibly get any physically closer, it’s closerclosercloser towards their inevitable climax instead.

When the pleasure crests, embarrassingly yet unsurprisingly quickly, Naruto freezes as his entire body tenses up. Blue eyes disappear as they are squeezed tightly shut and his jaw clenches firmly as he struggles to hold back a muffled groan. Sasuke mourns the loss of cerulean skies, but takes the opportunity to observe the rest of his alluring visage. The way whiskered cheeks are flushed high on his cheekbones and the tension in his jaw as perfect teeth clamp together tightly. The sweaty skin of his tan throat stretched taut over the straining muscles and his messy hair forming a golden halo atop it all. His Sharingan records the captivating sight in perfect detail, forever imprinting it into his mind, this breathtaking picture of Naruto in ecstasy.

That's all it takes for Sasuke. There is no one else he would even consider sharing something this intimate with. Naruto is the only person he will ever feel this closely bound to and the knowledge that it’s reciprocated is heartwarming and satisfying. He buries his head into the enticing base of Naruto’s throat, lips crushed against his skin and teeth lightly sinking into the flesh in an attempt to stifle his groan. His whole body stiffens as his orgasm forcefully hits him, and Sasuke knows nothing but pure, unadulterated bliss. And he wants moremoremore.

They’re clutching each other so tightly it’s hard to pull in the breaths their lungs are desperately trying to attain. Sasuke’s forehead is pressed firmly against Naruto’s jaw as he gasps loudly against the sweat-dampened skin with his heart pounding rapidly in his chest. His fingertips are digging harshly into Naruto’s waist, but the blond doesn’t seem bothered by it as his own fingers have a tight grip in Sasuke’s hair and he doesn’t try to escape the unyielding embrace.

“Fuck…that was…” Naruto doesn’t even have to finish the sentence because Sasuke already knows.

He nods slowly in silent agreement against the side of Naruto’s face. He knows. It was fire and lightning; it was ecstasy and bliss; it was all-consuming and limitless; it was otherworldly and transcendental; it was acceptance and belonging; it was Sasuke and Naruto; it was home.

And that’s when Sasuke comes to a realization he feels so wholeheartedly and absolutely that it causes a tear to slide down the side of his face. Konoha may never be his home again, but Naruto always will be. He will never feel more secure and at ease than when he is with Naruto. He presses a firm, reverent kiss into the skin under Naruto’s jaw and prays to every deity who will listen that this feeling of pure happiness will never disappear. He doesn’t think he would survive it.

Once the air around them has cooled enough and his heart has stopped beating uncontrollably, Sasuke registers the sticky mess in his pants and frowns in displeasure. “Let's get cleaned up. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not have to scrub dried cum off myself.”

A glint shines in Naruto’s eyes as he teases, “I could always clean it off for you, ya know?”

Sasuke shoves him unceremoniously to the side and stands up. “Just get in the water, Usuratonkachi.” He doesn’t need to turn to know that Naruto is most likely sticking his tongue out at him childishly and he feels grateful that things haven’t become awkward between them.

Sasuke thinks it would be nauseating if they suddenly became some super lovey dovey couple that just stared at each other with stars in their eyes. Well, they do tend to stare at each other quite a lot, but it isn’t at all in some sappy, lovesick way. Just thinking about the possibility makes Sasuke want to throw up.

The fire is nothing but embers as they lay side by side together with their hands clasped loosely between them. Naruto’s head is leaning against his shoulder and his own is pressed gently into soft, blond hair. The atmosphere is tranquil yet heavy with emotions and they lay there silently to bask in them.

When Sasuke feels Naruto’s head tilt towards him and turns his own to meet sated blueblueblue eyes, the tender look they share is familiar but far more intimate than ever before. A languorous smile curves across Naruto’s face and if Sasuke had been attracted to him before, now he is enraptured. And while the physical sensations had been pleasurable and gratifying, the emotional intensity was staggering. The endless acceptance and immutable bond between them was already fulfilling in its own right but the added fleshly exertion made the connection feel ethereal. After such an experience, Sasuke can finally acknowledge that Naruto succeeded in bringing him home that day in the Final Valley. Not to Konoha, but along the thread already tying them together and straight into his heart. If he’s able to remain in Naruto’s presence, Sasuke will always be home.

Chapter Text

Now that he knows the rapture of physical intimacy with Naruto, his body craves moremoremore. His life has been guided by restraint and structure, but he thinks it wouldn’t be so bad to let a bit of that control go to simply indulge in pleasure. The thought, as well as the sight of Naruto sprawled all over him, is an extremely enticing one. Unfortunately, Naruto is dead asleep and lightly snoring, and Sasuke only contemplates it for a few minutes before roughly grabbing bright blond hair and yanking his head back. The action has the intended effect of waking the idiot up, with the added bonus of pissing him off.

“Ow! What the fuck, you asshole!” Naruto is holding himself up on one hand as the other grabs at the one in his hair, and he is scowling down at Sasuke indignantly. “What kind of way is that to wake someone up?”

Sasuke tightens his fist and smirks as he rolls himself until he’s wedged between powerful thighs and looking down into annoyed, sleepy blueblueblue eyes. He sees the realization of their current position dawn in that gaze and feels an answering hardness against his own when he rolls his hips forward. “Just shut up and come here.” He breathes the words against Naruto’s lips before claiming them hungrily. They open under his own beautifully and it’s just as enjoyable as the first time they did this, perhaps even more so now that he knows what to expect. He swallows Naruto’s moan as he feels impatient hands grab at his shoulders and grinds his hips down when strong legs urgently wrap around the back of his thighs. Sasuke closes his eyes in an attempt to temper the rush of euphoria he feels but sensing his own hunger for Naruto reflected back at him only exacerbates the pleasure he’s feeling.

It’s a little awkward, the way he’s trying to balance himself above the blond, but he figures that just like learning one handed jutsu, he’ll be able to adjust to such situations accordingly. He feels fleetingly regretful of not having another arm to pull Naruto closerclosercloser because that’s what he needs at this moment. He needs to be as physically close as they already are emotionally. He needs moremoremore of that inviting feeling of home.

He breaks the kiss to heave in a breath before nosing his way along a sharp jaw and latching his lips around a throbbing pulse point. Naruto’s drawn out moan is music in his ears and there is desperation in the way eager hands claw at his back. It seems they are both hungry for the bliss that’s felt when they are together like this.

The uncoordinated thrusts of their hips meeting impatiently; the slick slide of his lips devouring the soft skin of Naruto’s throat; the sharp nails digging into the muscles of his back; the overwhelming heat between their bodies. It almost feels like too much, but at the same time, like he couldn’t possibly get enough.

The friction between them with only the thin layers of cloth separating their erections has him nearing an end he doesn’t want to achieve yet. He can feel his cock leaking and removes his mouth from Naruto’s neck to catch his breath and attempt to calm his rapidly beating heart. He needs to pace himself if he wants this to last. As much as he craves the blinding ecstasy of release, he’s not ready for it to be over yet.

Naruto growls impatiently and grabs the sides of his face to bring their lips together and Sasuke is powerless to stop the contact before he remembers they need to slow down. He pushes himself up on his elbow and breaks the heated kiss with a wet smacking sound. His eyes close and he holds his hips as still as he can while praying for a bit of restraint. It seems losing full control over himself isn’t the best way to go about this if he wishes to prolong the pleasure.

“What are you doing? Why are you stopping?” Naruto questions in panting breaths. He tightens his legs and digs his heels into the back of Sasuke’s thighs to urge him into resuming their rhythm. Sasuke takes a couple of steadying breaths before opening his mismatched eyes.

The red of his Sharingan doesn’t seem to faze Naruto. There is only curious concern in his voice when he gently prods, “Sasuke?”

“We need to slow down,” Sasuke says as he pushes himself up to rest his weight against his hand. “I’m too close.”

Naruto’s eyes widen and all he can reply with is a breathless, “oh.”

“Last time was over too quickly. I’m curious to see what it will be like if we take our time.”

Sasuke can see the realization and consent in Naruto’s eyes and the way his body seems to relax a bit. Once he feels more in control of his own body’s reactions and that he’s not going to prematurely come in his pants again, he places his hand on Naruto’s jaw and rubs his thumb along the spit slick curve of his lower lip. He can see Naruto’s anticipation as he leans back in to press their lips together and the resulting spark threatens to unravel his control. Once again, it feels like he has lightning ravaging his body, though this time it’s tempered by the resolution he has to keep an unhurried pace.

Sasuke is still keeping a bit of space between them so as not to get swept up in the moment again and their kiss is languid and deep. After a few minutes of the slow meeting of their mouths, Sasuke puts his weight back onto Naruto and gives a measured thrust. After a few more lazy rolls of his hips forward he decides that the contact would be so much better without the confinement of their clothes.

Sitting back on his heels, he looks into those bright blue eyes and holds their gaze as he slowly brings his hand to the hem of Naruto’s shirt and pushes it under the fabric to feel the hard muscles of his abdomen. Naruto gasps at the unexpected contact and clenches his teeth to hold in a moan. In lieu of being able to wrap his arms around Sasuke from his reclined position, Naruto’s restless hands scrabble at the bedroll below him in an obvious attempt to ground himself.

The steady motion of his hand as it glides upwards against soft skin slowly reveals Naruto’s lithe torso as his shirt is pushed out of the way. When it’s bunched up under his arms, Naruto hurries to pull it off without breaking their eye contact. He throws the shirt to the side dismissively and grabs at the bottom of Sasuke’s shirt, impatiently tugging upwards and forcing the hand he’s running up and down Naruto’s body to leave his skin as it’s pulled roughly over his head.

Reminding himself that he wants this to be more than just the hurried deed from last night that left them with a mess in their pants, Sasuke tries to keep a measured pace when their hips inevitably begin to move again. The position is a bit awkward and uncomfortable, but their movements are naturally in sync as they silently rearrange themselves until Sasuke is flat on his back with Naruto straddled over his thighs. The air around them is heating up again as their mouths meet, and they run their hands almost reverently against each other’s skin while doing their best to keep an unhurried pace to their movements.

When Sasuke’s hand dips into the hem of his pants to tightly grasp his hip, Naruto breaks the kiss and meets his eyes. “Can we… Is it okay if…” He can’t seem to finish the thought aloud, and instead brings his fingers to the top of Sasuke’s pants in silent question.

He inhales deeply and releases it slowly in an attempt to keep hold of his rapidly unraveling control. When he gives an answering nod and Naruto doesn’t budge, he says quietly, “You’re going to have to move to accomplish that.”

Naruto frowns at him indignantly and huffs, “no need to be an asshole about it, you jerk.” Naruto lifts himself from Sasuke’s thighs to impatiently remove the rest of his clothes.

Sasuke is doing his best to shimmy his pants and underwear down his thighs with one hand while laying on the ground, and he releases a grunt of frustration at his apparent inability to do so. His jaw is clenched with annoyance as he stares down at the way the fabric seems to be stuck around his knees.

Naruto seems unable to stop the amused laugh he lets out. “Not completely self sufficient without an arm, huh?”

Sasuke growls, and shoots him an irritated glare. “Shut the fuck up and help me, Usuratonkachi.”

Naruto grabs the pant legs and pulls them off to toss next to his own. “You know, I never thought I’d be helping Uchiha Sasuke take off his clothes. A lot of people would be so jealous if they knew I got to do this,” he says absently.

“Ugh. Can you just stop talking and get back over here?” The annoyance in Sasuke’s voice is weakened by the eager way he grabs Naruto’s wrist and drags him back onto his lap.

The moment their bare erections come in contact has them both gasping in shock and Sasuke finds he was right; the feeling is infinitely more satisfying than when there were layers of fabric between them. Immediately, they meet in another devouring kiss and Sasuke gives a shaky but firm thrust upwards, groaning into Naruto’s mouth who accompanies it with a moan of his own. Sasuke’s hand grabs greedily at Naruto’s hip and using the bite of his nails digging into the skin, he urges him to spread his thighs to bring him closerclosercloser. The added pressure of his weight causes the sensation of their naked skin rubbing together to intensify and Naruto breaks the kiss to tilt his head back with a bitten off moan.

Sasuke gladly takes the opportunity to hungrily latch his mouth to the slender expanse of his neck and suck lightly before laving his tongue across the soft skin. The taste of sweat is salty in his mouth and he can feel the vibration as Naruto releases a hushed curse. “Fuck, Sasuke…” He hums his agreement as Naruto tips his head to the side to give him more space and he eagerly takes advantage of the offering. The tight control he had managed to regain is falling apart quickly, and although he wishes he could keep it, it feels almost impossible to do so. He wants to devour the body pressed so tightly against his own. The need is visceral and all consuming, burning him from the inside out and there’s nothing he can do to prevent it. He’s drowning and knows he’ll never get enough of these mind blowing sensations. Sasuke feels like he’s falling into oblivion with nothing to catch him or keep him from unraveling completely.

Naruto grabs onto his shoulder with one hand and digs the nimble fingers of the other into his hair. The sharp bite of Sasuke’s teeth at the base of his neck, causes the blond to groan unabashedly and use his hold on black tresses to urge their mouths back together.

He can feel the slick slide of precome aiding their uncontrollable movements, and with the harsh way he is thrusting his hips up and guiding Naruto’s down into them he knows neither of them is far from completion.

Unable to pull away with his head caught between Naruto’s and the ground, Sasuke groans deeply into the kiss and bites down hard on the blond’s lip as his orgasm hits him with blinding euphoria. The way Naruto tenses against him and moans shakily lets him know he has also come undone.

The perfect visual clarity his eyes afford him allows the vision of Naruto’s face in rapture to be inscribed into his mind once again. For the second time, his kekkei genkai is not a technique to aid him in battle, but a means to record the sight above him. The spit slick wetness of reddened, kiss swollen lips; the rosy flush to whiskered cheeks; the glossy sheen to bright, half lidded blueblueblue eyes; the wild mess of golden, sweat damp hair framing it all. All of it is recorded for eternity into Sasuke’s memory once again.

The pleasure of release has him feeling dazed, so he blinks a few times in an attempt to clear his vision. When he refocuses on Naruto, his eyes are narrowed as he stares down at him.

“You’re going to see that forever, aren’t you? I probably looked so ridiculous.” Naruto turns his head to the side a bit in embarrassed irritation, but doesn’t fight it when Sasuke’s hand guides his gaze back again while he blinks away the Sharingan.

“I’m grateful to have something other than tragedy and violence burned into my mind. Something…beautiful.” He grazes Naruto’s cheek with his thumb and finishes softly, “something mine.”

Naruto’s eyes widen at the declaration and he clumsily places his hand over Sasuke’s before pressing their lips together firmly. The kiss is languid and mostly close mouthed, both of them feeling lethargic and sated for the moment. It’s more an expression of their happiness and connection rather than the insatiable need for sexual release that their previous exploits demanded.

They’ve always felt an innate need for the acceptance and acknowledgment of the other, and finding that in each other's bodies as well is incredibly fulfilling. This inevitability between the two of them, the inherent urge to bring them as close as humanly possible. A force pulling down all remaining barriers and tying them together completely.

Finally breaking the kiss with one last peck, Naruto pushes himself onto his hands, and the uncomfortable feeling of rapidly drying cum sticking to their abdomens as he pulls away has him looking down with a grimace as he sits back onto Sasuke’s thighs.

Sasuke frowns down at the mess grumpily and hears as Naruto laughs teasingly. “Looks like we’ll be scrubbing off dried cum after all.”

Sasuke glares at him as he sits up and shoves the amused blond to the side. “Usuratonkachi. You’re heavy. Get off before my legs go numb.”

Naruto scoffs as he’s dumped unceremoniously onto his ass and scowls at him as they both stand up. “You’re not the one who was kneeling like that for so long. My legs have been numb for like the past ten minutes, asshole. Deal with it.”

Sasuke waves a dismissive hand in the air before digging a couple of towels and a rag out of one of their bags. “I’m not the one who put himself in such a position, so you can deal with it, moron.”

“As if you didn’t enjoy it, you bastard!” he hisses as he follows Sasuke to the lake nearby.

“Never said I didn’t.” He glances over his shoulder at Naruto and looks him up and down unashamedly, appreciating the lithe form of his body. The tanned skin is marred only by the splash of dried cum on his stomach and a few scattered bite marks along his neck which are unfortunately already healing. He has an almost primal urge to leave a lasting blemish on Naruto’s body, some form of proof that he was there, physical evidence of their connection. But then he sees the bandages covering Naruto’s right arm from fingertips to bicep and realizes he already has. In the most brutal way possible, he destroyed a part of Naruto’s body in a way no chakra demon could ever hope to repair. The realization is sobering and tempers the desire he was feeling at the sight of Naruto’s debauched state. With a dispirited sigh, he turns back to the water as he steps into the shallow edge of the lake.

He hears footsteps behind him before there’s a light touch on his shoulder. “Sasuke? Are you okay?” Naruto attempts to turn him and when he doesn’t budge, moves around to stand in front of him. “Are you mad about the mess?”

Sasuke meets blueblueblue eyes and pointedly keeps his own from straying away from them. “It’s fine.” He knows Naruto can see his melancholy and when he reaches up to begin to untie the bandage at the blond’s bicep, can surely sense the guilt and regret he’s feeling as well. “Let’s clean your bandages. They’re all sweaty and dirty.” Sasuke pleads silently with his eyes, ‘Please don’t say anything more. I know you forgive me, but I haven’t forgiven myself yet.’

“Okay,” Naruto says simply and Sasuke is glad he doesn’t press the issue.

Without further words, they remove the dressings on Naruto’s arm and set them aside to attend to their bodies first. He gently scrubs the mess from Naruto’s abdomen before accepting his reciprocation, and when Naruto takes hold of his hand and begins to slowly wash his arm for him, Sasuke can only stare at the prosthetic in fascination. He’s never really gotten a good look at it; has avoided it if he’s being honest. However, the relaxed atmosphere between them and the gentle sensation of Naruto’s touch are soothing, so Sasuke feels himself studying it despite the guilt that curls in his chest.

The place where it’s attached is a bit jagged and uneven, surely the result of such a vicious wound; he knows the skin where his own arm ends is scarred and wasn’t easily mended. The unnatural flesh is slightly paler than the rest of Naruto’s body, but besides that it is a mirror of the other arm. When Naruto finishes cleaning his arm and releases his hand, he moves to reach for what remains of Sasuke’s left arm. Sasuke grabs his right wrist before he can touch it and holds the replacement up between them. He cautiously runs his fingers up towards the elbow and then back down to take hold of the hand. The skin is smooth to the touch, almost identical to real flesh; the fifth Hokage is very talented indeed. He glances up to see Naruto’s gaze directed at where their hands touch with wide eyes.

“Can you feel anything with it?” Sasuke whispers curiously. He turns it over and rubs his thumb across the palm and Naruto’s fingers twitch a bit before relaxing again.

Naruto clears his throat quietly before responding. “Kind of? Like, I feel the things I touch but it’s almost as if it’s a bit numb, ya know? Kind of like that tingly feeling when your foot falls asleep.” He shrugs and sighs dismissively. “It’s a weird sensation, but I’ve gotten used to it.”

Sasuke releases his hand and reaches for Naruto’s cheek. The tender touch gains his attention and their eyes meet solemnly. “I’m glad she was able to do this for you. To make you whole again and repair the damage I caused.”

Naruto frowns unhappily at the obvious regret in Sasuke’s words, and seemingly can’t help but to speak from his heart. “I know you don’t believe me yet, but if I must, I’ll tell you over and over again until I finally get through to you. You’re not the only one responsible for this injury and I’m not the only one who lost an arm.” When Sasuke opens his mouth with a refusal on the tip of his tongue, Naruto glares and adamantly says, “don’t even deny it again because it’s true. We did this to each other and I don’t regret it. The loss of an arm is nothing compared to the thought of losing you, Sasuke. I came so close to losing you forever that day, if not in death, then to the darkness overtaking your heart. I fought as hard as I could to beat you bloody enough to stop you, and was willing to die with you if necessary.” He places his hand over Sasuke’s and leans into his touch, a small smile curving his lips. “I understand and accept your decision to not get the replacement yourself, but if you keep up with this self blaming bullshit, I’ll just tear the damn thing off and be done with it.”

Sasuke is not happy with the subtle threat and frowns. “You’ll do no such thing, Usuratonkachi.” As much as he wants to deny Naruto’s sentiments, he has to admit they’re at an impasse for now. Sasuke is not ready to forgive himself for what he did that day, let alone all the things before then. It is his greatest regret, harming Naruto in such a way, and it’s proving very difficult to move past. Perhaps he never will, though he’s sure Naruto will keep trying his hardest to make sure that he does. His best friend is stubborn like that.

Though his mood has soured a bit and the water they’re standing in is starting to feel cold, Naruto’s sincere and honest words have warmed his heart once more. Sasuke has the impulse to kiss him and gives into it with no reservations. It’s a simple press of lips before he pulls back and smiles at the open affection on Naruto’s face. He rubs his thumb against his cheek again before grabbing the wash rag from the water. “Let’s finish washing up before we freeze in this water.” Naruto nods his agreement and they continue to cleanse each other in companionable silence.

——————————-

They continue north and decide to stop at the next town they come across to restock supplies and spend a night or two indoors. It's a fairly large town they find themselves in a week later; not as expansive as Konoha but certainly larger than the tiny village in the valley or the small port town on the way to Uzushio. It’s easy enough to find an inn which boasts an onsen and a long soak in a hot bath sounds inviting to them both after bathing in freezing lakes and streams for the past few weeks.

Naruto is positively giddy with happiness and can’t seem to keep the huge grin off his face. Sasuke’s smile is a bit more subdued, but he’s feeling no less ecstatic. If they felt close before, now they are feeling inseparable. Nothing and no one could ever come between them. Naruto, who is normally an outgoing person with no trouble talking to anyone, is seemingly unable to look away from Sasuke and almost oblivious to anything else around him. Quite a few times, Sasuke is forced to pull Naruto out of the way of a passerby or prevent him from walking straight into a wall. After the fifth time this happens, he lets out a resigned sigh, grabs a tan hand and pulls him a bit closer. Naruto laces their fingers together and Sasuke can feel the bright smile being directed at the side of his face.

He glances at Naruto without turning his head, his mouth set into a slight frown and mutters, “Wipe that stupid smile off your face. I just don’t want you knocking someone over or slamming into a wall.” Naruto just laughs and squeezes his hand. The exasperation in his voice obviously does nothing to dampen Naruto’s spirits, even when he roughly elbows him in the gut and scoffs, “don’t get used to it, moron.”

“Mhmm. Sure. Whatever you say, bastard.” Naruto suddenly tugs on his hand eagerly and asks, “Hey, can we get ramen? It’s been so long since I had any and I’m dying for it.”

When Sasuke turns to him with a refusal ready, he sees the excited, pleading expression in shining blueblueblue eyes and is powerless to say no. He sighs in acquiescence and says, “if we must.” The whoop of joy and the excitement he can see in those eyes has his mouth tilting into a fond smile, his heart filled with warmth.

———————

Currently, Sasuke is laying shirtless on the raised futon with Naruto straddling his thighs and leaning over him. The blond is running both hands aimlessly across the naked skin of his torso and Sasuke has his hand braced against the back of Naruto’s neck as their mouths devour each other. Naruto pulls away only far enough to stare down at him for a moment before he leans back down and starts to trail kisses along his throat. His lover continues leaving a path down his torso and pauses when he comes to the waistband of his pants. Naruto can obviously see the evidence of his excitement with the straining of the fabric over his crotch and he watches as the blond bites his lip in apparent consideration. He’s toying with the ties of Sasuke’s pants and glances up to meet his gaze with half lidded blueblueblue.

Sasuke admires the way his bottom lip is pulled between perfect teeth, wet and reddened from their kisses. The whiskered cheeks are slightly flushed and there’s a determined glint in his eyes that Sasuke recognizes as being there when his friend sets his mind to complete a new or particularly difficult task.

Still staring into his eyes, Naruto places a hand over the front of his pants and he can’t help but to inhale sharply at the cautious action. When he puts a bit more pressure into his touch, Sasuke releases a low moan and closes his eyes.

“Sasuke…” Naruto words are whispered against the muscled skin above his pants as he squeezes his hand experimentally. Sasuke threads his fingers into soft blond hair and hums absentmindedly. “Can I try something?”

Opening his eyes and meeting Naruto’s questioning gaze, he gives a tight nod and answers, “sure.”

When his pants are untied and pushed out of the way, he has a vague idea of what his lover wants to try, but it doesn’t at all prepare him for the sight or the feeling of Naruto pressing his lips softly against the tip of his erection. When his tongue darts out to give a small lick, Sasuke leans his head back and groans.
With his heart pounding, he feels Naruto take hold of the base as he wraps his lips around the head and sucks gently. They’ve touched each other here before, but the warm wetness of his lover’s mouth is an entirely different sensation. As much as he knows he’d appreciate the sight of himself disappearing into Naruto’s mouth, he keeps his eyes closed and forces himself not to move.

There’s a slight pause before Naruto slowly takes more into his mouth and Sasuke’s fist tightens its hold as he tenses his muscles and does his best not to pull him closerclosercloser. Naruto’s inexperience causes him to accidentally go down a bit too far and when Sasuke feels himself hit the back of his throat, he bites down on his own lip hard enough to break the skin and prays to every deity he knows. The slick glide and light suction as Naruto pulls back a little to readjust before slowly resuming the up and down motions of his head is divine. Despite all of their recent carnal escapades, this is a completely new experience and it has Sasuke once again feeling that need for moremoremore.

After a few slow, deep breaths to make sure he won’t cum prematurely, he opens his eyes to look down the length of his body and finally takes in the sight. Sasuke stares in reverence at the concentrated furrow on Naruto’s brow and the way his lips are stretched wide around his cock as it disappears over and over again into his warm, wet mouth. He slides his hand down to rub gently along his left cheek and barely holds back a groan when Naruto pulls back with a wet popping noise.

“Am I…is it okay?” Naruto questions a bit anxiously.

Sasuke slides his thumb across his swollen bottom lip and wets his own lips as he nods absently. “Yeah. Yeah, it’s good.”

Smiling with satisfaction, Naruto guides Sasuke’s hand back into his hair and strokes his hand slowly up and down. “Can I keep going?”

Sasuke closes his eyes once again for strength before looking back down at him and nodding. “Yeah…”

Looking a bit more confident and determined to make Sasuke fall apart, Naruto takes him back into his mouth. Sasuke’s hips give an aborted thrust and he mumbles a distracted apology as Naruto uses his hand to help hold them still and prevent himself from choking.

When Sasuke moves his hand to push the bangs off of his forehead, Naruto looks up through his lashes and moans a bit around the hard flesh in his mouth. The vibration of the sound causes Sasuke to release his loose grip on blond hair to grab hold of a tan shoulder so he doesn’t accidentally pull his lover closerclosercloser and end up choking him. The sensations are exquisite; the warmth and suction of Naruto’s mouth, the pressure of a firm grip on his hip, the impassioned look directed at him with those expressive eyes.

He can’t help but stare in fascination as he watches his cock disappear between perfect pink lips over and over again. Naruto closes his eyes and Sasuke can feel the steady motion of an arm rubbing against his leg. He’s obviously touching himself, and the realization has him quickly nearing his end. I’m not going to last much longer…

He misses the blueblueblue of Naruto’s eyes, so he brushes the wild blond hair off his forehead again and murmurs, “Look at me.” It comes out a bit more commanding than he intended, but Naruto doesn’t appear to mind his tone as his eyes flutter open and he meets Sasuke’s gaze with an intensity that makes him swear under his breath. There’s a glassy sheen to those gorgeous, heavy lidded eyes and the enamored emotions he can read in them are all it takes for him to come undone.

It hits him suddenly, powerfully, and too quickly for him to give Naruto a proper warning. Sasuke bites down hard on his lip as his jaw tenses and he tries to push his lover’s head away. However, Naruto is never one to back down from a challenge and takes him in a bit deeper as he comes. Euphoria is all he knows in that moment; an all consuming pleasure that takes over his whole being.

Naruto appears to do his best to swallow everything down, but his own climax has him pulling back with a gasping moan and Sasuke watches as the last little bit of his release coats the side of his face. They're both breathing heavily and loudly into the otherwise silent room and Sasuke’s eyes narrow in on the sight of his cum marking a whiskered cheek. It makes some sort of primal urge rise to the surface of his thoughts and he glides his thumb through the sticky fluid, smearing it across Naruto’s bottom lip in fascination. He sees the realization in sated eyes as they widen a bit, and Sasuke wants to apologize but can’t bring himself to speak.

Wild golden hair frames flushed cheeks and blueblueblue eyes and Sasuke is awestruck. Naruto’s lips are shiny and red, and he watches as a pink tongue darts out to lick at the lingering traces of fluid in the corner of his mouth. He places his fingers under Naruto’s chin and slowly sits up. “Come here.” Naruto carelessly wipes his soiled hand on the sheets before crawling into his lap and wrapping lithe arms around his neck. Sasuke holds him close by the waist and is once again frustrated at the fact that he doesn’t have another arm to embrace him fully. “Fuck. You look…”

Naruto gives him a lopsided smile and mutters, “like I have cum on my face?”

“Perfect,” He replies simply. “You look perfect.” Naruto’s eyes widen a bit in surprise and the arms around his neck tighten as he leans in to press their lips together. Sasuke runs his hand up his lover's smooth back onto the nape of his neck and tilts his head for a better angle.

They kiss lazily for a few minutes, just basking in the afterglow together, and when the exhaustion catches up, they lay down side by side facing each other. There’s little space between them in their innate need to be close after such activities. Naruto still has a bit of drying cum on his cheek but since he doesn’t seem to be particularly inclined to remove it, Sasuke doesn’t make a motion to either.

He has just closed his eyes, ready for a nice long sleep when he feels an almost timid hand against his cheek. He can feel the weight of Naruto’s stare and tilts his head into the touch with a sleepy smile. The fingers on his face tremble a bit and he hears a shaky sigh.

“I love you, Sasuke.” It’s whispered so quietly that he’s not even sure if he actually heard it until his eyes snap open and he sees the affection written all over Naruto’s face. Sasuke’s whole body tenses in his shock and he can do nothing but stare as his heart beats erratically in his chest. When Naruto starts to pull his hand away, Sasuke halts the motion with a slightly too tight grip around the wrist. He watches as his lover’s mouth opens and shuts around words that never make it out and the concerned furrow on his brow when he seemingly decides to simply wait out Sasuke’s silence.

He’s vaguely cognizant that he should probably respond in some way but he is speechless. He hasn’t heard those words spoken to him since he was a child and the resulting mess of emotions that flood him almost causes him to break entirely. It’s so overwhelming he can barely stand it and he almost loses himself in the memories that assault his brain. His vision blurs a bit so he closes his eyes tightly and forces himself to breathe. “I never thought I’d hear those words again,” he whispers brokenly as he feels a tear slide down into his hair. He didn’t know how much he needed to hear such a sentiment until this very moment.

Before he can fall too deeply into the despair of his loss, he feels the gentle pressure of lips against his forehead. “I’ll say them as many times as you need me to, Sasuke,” Naruto murmurs against his skin.

Sasuke didn’t think he could possibly be more grateful to his best friend than he already was and is once again proven wrong. He releases his hold on Naruto’s wrist and wraps his arm around him so tightly that it must surely be constricting the airflow into his lungs. Naruto gives no complaint and instead simply returns the embrace with a tenderness that causes another tear to fall from his eye. His face is buried into the curve of Naruto’s neck and he can feel the soothing motions of fingers running through his hair. “I’ll never stop loving you.”

As Sasuke continues to weep silently, he does his best to let his emotions speak the words he can’t seem to get past the lump in his throat. He knows he’s successful when Naruto kisses the top of his head and says, “I know, Sasuke. You don’t have to say it back. I can feel it.”

Sasuke is exhausted. It’s a bone deep tiredness caused by too many emotions and memories. The gentle touch of the fingers in his hair and the slow rise and fall of Naruto’s breathing is lulling him to sleep. Just before he falls into oblivion, he's finally able to speak. It’s only two words, but it’s all he’s able to voice. “Thank you.”

Sasuke wakes the next morning sluggishly. He’s lying on his stomach and when he reaches across the futon for Naruto, he finds the other side of the bed vacant. Pushing himself up and blinking the sleep from his eyes, he glances around the room to find it empty too. He sits up and is just about to stand when the door to the adjoining bathroom slides open and reveals his missing lover, clothed in a thin, simple yukata.

Naruto smiles at him gently and walks across the room with light footsteps. “Good morning. Did you sleep okay?”

Sasuke gives a noncommittal hum and pulls Naruto to stand between his legs when he is close enough. He wraps his arm around the slim waist tightly and leans his forehead into the fabric covering his stomach. Despite just waking up from a mostly refreshing and dreamless sleep, the emotional turmoil brought on by the unexpected profession of love has him still feeling slightly off balance. The soothing motion of fingers running through his hair keeps him grounded and prevents the distressing thoughts from completely taking over his mind.

Though the words Naruto uttered last night were sincere and tender, giving voice to the emotions already expressed with his eyes, having such a sentiment directed at him for the first time since he was a child caused a sudden crash of heartache so deep it almost swallowed him whole. By now, after so long without hearing it, he’s almost forgotten the sound of his mother’s voice. The memories of her warm hugs and maternal affection, the gentle touch when she would bandage his scrapes and bruises acquired from training, the bento boxes she always sent him off to the academy with, the way she would tuck him into bed and tell him she loved him more than anything else in the world; those were all engraved into his psyche forever, even if he spent so many years repressing them in his quest for revenge.

Feeling a need to respond to Naruto’s confession in some way, Sasuke uses the comfort of his tender embrace to find the strength to whisper, “it’s not that I don’t. I really do but I just…”

There’s the gentle pressure of a kiss being placed on the top of his head before Naruto speaks just as quietly. “I know. It’s okay, really. I understand and I’m sorry if it was too soon to say something like that.”

Sasuke shakes his head slowly against Naruto’s stomach and replies, “it’s not. I just…need a little time before I can…say it back.”

“Take all the time you need.”

Sasuke spends an indefinite amount of time just holding Naruto close and enjoying his comforting presence. The tranquil atmosphere and lingering drowsiness of just waking up has him feeling so peaceful he could stay like this forever. However, the sudden, quiet rumbling of Naruto’s stomach has him pulling away and looking up at him irritably.

Naruto places his hand behind his head and rubs it self-consciously. “Heh. Sorry. Didn’t mean to ruin the moment, but I guess I’m really hungry?”

With a huff of fond exasperation, Sasuke uses his hold on Naruto’s waist to pull himself up before kissing him on the forehead. “Get dressed while I go clean up. Let’s get you fed before you waste away, you glutton.”

Chapter Text

They’ve been traveling west along the northern border of Fire Country and it takes Naruto a while before he realizes where they are. When he looks to his side and sees the uncomfortable frown on his friend’s face and the tension in his body, he knows that Sasuke is perfectly aware of the location ahead of them.

Fiddling with the straps of his backpack, Naruto looks down at the ground as they continue walking forward and says, “if we keep going this way we’ll-“

“I know.” Sasuke’s voice is succinct and void of any emotion. He doesn’t stray from the path they’re on, the one that leads to the Final Valley, and Naruto glances at him before deciding to continue.

“Should we make a turn up here and go around it?” Honestly, he’s not quite sure how he feels about going back to that place with so many memories. It was the place where he first fought and lost Sasuke, but also where he finally succeeded in bringing him home. It’s been over three years, but the conflicting emotions he always feels whenever he thinks of what happened still begin to curl in his stomach uncomfortably. The apprehension he feels seems to be mirrored by Sasuke even if the dark haired man continues to walk silently forwards.

When he doesn’t answer after a couple of minutes, Naruto takes a breath and tries again. “Have you…gone back there at all?”

He finally gets a reaction other than stoic silence when Sasuke sighs tiredly and stops walking.

“No, I haven’t. I almost did about a year ago when I was passing through this area, but it didn’t…feel right.” He turns to meet his gaze and finishes imploringly, “I thought we should do that together.” His voice still has that toneless quality to it, but the emotions he can sense in Sasuke’s stare tell Naruto that he is not as composed as he’s trying to portray.

As he pauses before responding, Naruto admires the deep, obsidian color of Sasuke’s right eye and the pale lavender of his ever present Rinnegan. The determined, yet pleading look he observes in them lets him know that Sasuke needs this. For whatever reason, his best friend seems to need this more than almost anything. Is it to see the place where they almost killed each other? To see where they were finally reunited? To see if the destruction they caused has left an everlasting mark upon the earth?

Despite his reservations about revisiting, as he reads the beseeching sincerity in those beautiful, mismatched eyes, he decides that it’s worth a bit of discomfort if it helps Sasuke in any way to at least begin to forgive himself. “Yes, you’re right. This is something we should do together.” A breeze blows gently through dark hair as those bewitching eyes soften, and there’s the slightest curve to Sasuke’s lips as he gives a sharp nod and resumes his stride.

Naruto avidly stares at him for a moment before taking a few quick steps to catch up and walk beside him. He thinks about taking hold of his hand for reassurance, but decides against it when he sees the way it is fisted tightly. Sasuke seems to be mentally and emotionally preparing himself and will most likely just pull away. Unwilling to sour the already somber mood, he instead just puts his hands into his pockets and tries to ignore the anxious knot tightening in his stomach. He hopes this isn’t a mistake, that this won’t have the opposite effect and make all of Sasuke’s progress backslide.

Naruto hasn’t been back to the Final Valley either, and when they finally arrive and stop at the top he feels his breath catch in his throat. The destruction they caused here is still able to be seen with the absence of the great stone statues which once bracketed the falls, but nature has apparently refilled the lake at the top and the waterfall is back to its former glory. Looking down into the water at the bottom, he can vaguely see the shape of the two stone hands forming the Unison Sign below the surface, and the sight brings him a bittersweet nostalgia.

He glances at Sasuke and sees him staring blankly at the bottom as well. His eyes flick down to the still tightly fisted hand and he looks back towards the falls before making up his mind. Cautiously, he wraps his hand around Sasuke’s and the fist twitches briefly before it relaxes and slowly unfurls. Encouraged by the silent acceptance, Naruto gently laces their fingers together and squeezes softly. A compassionate reminder that they are here together. When Sasuke hesitantly tightens the hold, Naruto slowly releases the breath he didn’t realize was stuck in his lungs.

They stand there side by side for a while, hands securely laced together, and simply stare at the scene wordlessly. They lost their arms here; blew them right off by using as much power as their heavily depleted chakra would allow. They almost died here; laid atop those stone hands slowly bleeding out while seemingly traipsing in and out of the afterlife together or through each other’s consciousness and memories, or whatever the hell that was. Regardless of what exactly that was, it allowed them to understand and accept each other in ways that are preternatural and fulfilling on a deeply emotional level.

Suddenly, Sasuke releases his hand and collapses to the ground heavily. Naruto drops to his knees as well and looks over in concern. His best friend appears to be trying to compose himself with a few deep, shaky breaths but his face has crumbled. Dark eyebrows are furrowed in misery and his mouth is frowning grievously. Sasuke turns slowly to stare over at him and he speaks in a low, slightly unsteady voice.

“I’m so sorry. For everything I’ve done to you, every time I tried to kill you. I will never again raise my hand against you with the intent to kill. If I ever do, it means I have completely lost my way because there is no other way I could ever bring myself to harm you like that again.” Sasuke fists the fabric covering his own heart and squeezes tightly, and his face twists into what looks like agony. “It has always felt like I’m ripping a part of my own heart out and I have accepted that there’s no possible way I could survive without you in this world.” His voice has been getting progressively more manic, but Sasuke closes his eyes and takes another deep breath in an obvious attempt to rebalance himself and the sorrowful look on his features clears a bit before he finishes in a more subdued tone. “You were right when you said that if we die, we die together. There is no me if there is no you, Naruto.”

When Naruto places his hand securely over his, Sasuke’s eyes reopen and stare down at the contact. He doesn’t need to see his mismatched eyes to know the emotions that are surely in them. Sasuke’s grief and regret are written clearly on his face and in the way his body is curling in on itself. Naruto places his other hand gently under his jaw and tilts his head up to meet his gaze. Just as he assumed, Sasuke’s eyes are swimming with heartbreaking emotions.

He puts as much sincerity and promise as he can into his voice. “If that ever happens, if you ever lose your way again, I’ll be there to guide you back. However many times it takes. No matter what I have to do. There is no me without you either, Sasuke.”

A tear falls slowly from a wide open Sharingan before both eyes are squeezed tightly shut, and Sasuke drops his forehead against Naruto’s neck. He places his right hand on the back of Sasuke’s head to hold him close as he uses the left one to grip the shaky, pale hand between them. A gasping breath is released loudly at the comforting touch before turning into hushed, heaving cries. Naruto feels a few teardrops fall down his own cheeks as he drops a light kiss into soft dark hair before pressing their temples together. Trembling fingers are clutching his hand almost painfully and Naruto can feel the warm wetness of Sasuke’s tears coating his skin.

As Sasuke continues to break down in his arms, Naruto simply holds him close and does his best to push his own grief aside. His best friend needs his strength right now, so he takes slow, steady breaths through the pain in his chest and whispers soothing reassurances into Sasuke’s ear. Although his heart is breaking at the despair in the lax posture and uncontrollable sobs, he has a feeling that Sasuke needs this moment of falling apart so openly. Normally being such a restrained and composed person, the fact that Sasuke is able to feel comfortable and safe enough to take solace in his embrace is so gratifying that Naruto makes a silent promise to himself to never take it for granted.

It takes a few minutes to realize that Sasuke is mumbling words through his choked cries, so Naruto tilts his head and listens closely. He lets out a silent sob when he hears the brokenly whispered, “I was a monster here. I almost killed you. Twice.” Followed by the almost frantic mantra of, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” over and over again.

Smoothing his hand up and down the back of his dark hair, Naruto murmurs, “it’s okay, Sasuke. I’m here with you and I forgive you. I know you haven’t forgiven yourself yet, but I’ll keep forgiving you until you’re finally able to.”

Once Sasuke calms down and his sobs turn into nothing but small, subdued sniffles, his body sags even further into Naruto and he presses his lips against his throat so softly it can barely be called a kiss. His voice is tired and rough from crying when he mumbles against his skin, “I don’t deserve you.” As if he can see Naruto opening his mouth with the denial on his lips, he adamantly continues. “Please don’t deny it right now. I know you want to, but I just…I just…” His voice trails off weakly and he takes a deep, shaky breath. “Please just let me stay like this a bit longer.”

Naruto releases his hand to wrap his arm around Sasuke’s back reassuringly and presses a firm kiss against the side of his head. “Of course. As long as you need.” He closes his eyes and feels Sasuke’s arm wrap around his own back to grasp his shirt in a loose fist. No more words are said as they simply kneel there for a while and bask in the solace they always find in each other.

It’s been about half an hour and Naruto is just beginning to think Sasuke has fallen asleep when he finally raises his head. His gaze is slightly unfocused and he looks and sounds exhausted. “Can you give me a few moments alone?”

Naruto is wary of leaving him on his own, but the pleading in those doleful eyes has him relenting. Sasuke obviously wants some space to compose himself. “Okay.” He nods his head in the direction of the trees and adds, “I’ll be right over there looking for a spot to set up camp. Come find me when you’re ready.”

“I will.”

When he releases his hold and Sasuke begins to lean back, Naruto reaches out to place his flesh and blood hand on a tear stained cheek, and dries a freshly fallen one from under the Sharingan with his thumb. “I love you, Sasuke.”

His face softens and one more lone tear falls as he whispers back, “I know.”

Naruto stands, but before walking away he points his finger in Sasuke’s face and says firmly, “if I don’t see you in fifteen minutes, I’m coming to find you to make sure you haven’t thrown yourself over the edge, Teme, you hear me?”

He’s glad when Sasuke’s lips tilt up the slightest bit and a little more life seeps into his eyes. “If you say so, Usuratonkachi.”

It’s been fifteen minutes since Naruto left Sasuke alone and he’s just about to go check to make sure the bastard really hasn’t thrown himself into the water, when he sees him slowly approaching. His gait is back to its usual measured poise and when he stops to stand in front of him, Naruto can see that he’s wiped the dried tears from his face and while he looks far more composed than before, his expression is still very solemn.

Deciding to try to lighten the somber atmosphere, Naruto smiles and asks, “do you wanna try hunting for something, or are rations okay for tonight?”

“Rations are fine.”

With another bright grin Naruto agrees. “Okay. Can you start a fire while I fill the canteens real quick?”

“Sure.”

The short answers, although fairly typical from his best friend, have him frowning a bit when he turns to the pile of wood Naruto has already collected. He knows that Sasuke is obviously unsettled about his previous display of unrestrained emotions and he promises himself to keep the rest of the night as normal as possible.

They eat mostly in silence with the occasional insult, and Naruto is glad that Sasuke seems to be feeling a bit better. His body moves lethargically, but the grief and pain has mostly left his saddened eyes which helps to alleviate Naruto’s concern.

Sasuke is resting against a large fallen tree trunk with his journal, not a diary, open in his lap as he calmly writes something down. Despite being insanely curious as to what it could possibly be, he decides to respect Sasuke’s privacy this time and doesn’t try to sneak a peek like he normally does.

Naruto watches him quietly for a while before the silence eventually gets to him and he launches into another random tale about his adventures with Ero-sennin. Sasuke’s eyes never leave the pages and Naruto’s not sure he’s even really listening, but the occasional answering hum from his friend encourages him to keep talking. His restlessness forces him to stand as he finishes his story, and he gathers their dirty clothes to go wash them in the lake. When he tells Sasuke he’ll be back soon, he finally raises his head from his book and gives Naruto a crooked smirk while telling him not to trip and fall into the water. He scowls and flips him the middle finger in response before turning on his heel and walking away with a loud huff.

When he returns to camp, Sasuke is still in the same spot, but his book is lying closed on the ground beside him and his posture seems more relaxed than it did when Naruto left him there. His eyes are closed, but he opens them at his approach and after giving Naruto a once over, he raises an amused eyebrow and comments, “so you didn’t fall into the water after all.”

“Shut up, asshole. Be a little grateful that I just washed your filthy, smelly clothes while you sat here writing in your damned diary.”

He immediately glares up at Naruto. “For the last time, it’s not a diary, you idiot. Just a place to write down my thoughts.”

Naruto nods his head and affirms, “yes. Just like one does with a diary.”

Sasuke huffs an exasperated sigh and rolls his eyes. “Whatever. You gonna hang those or just leave them in a pile to get dirty again?”

With an annoyed frown, Naruto scoffs and walks over to the clothesline he hung earlier. Juggling the wet clothes in his arms so as not to drop them, he mutters to himself as he hangs them to dry. “Fucking asshole doesn’t even offer to help. Just sitting there looking all relaxed without a care in the world next to his diary.”

He’s so absorbed in his irritated rambling, that he startles a bit when an arm is wrapped loosely around his waist and the weight of Sasuke’s head hits the back of his neck softly. “I’ll help you next time. When you’re done being all pouty, come lay down with me. It’s late.” A fleeting kiss is pressed against his nape before Sasuke pulls his arm back and walks away.

Turning his head with definitely not a pout twisting his lips, Naruto watches as Sasuke lays his cloak aside and lowers himself to his bedroll. “A promise of future help and a poor excuse for a kiss don't change the fact that you’re just being a lazy bastard tonight.”

Seemingly unperturbed by the insult, Sasuke just reclines on his back to look up at the sky. “Whatever you say, Usuratonkachi.”

Naruto decides to let it slide on account of the emotional turmoil of the day and simply finishes up his task. Despite the slight indignation he’s feeling, a small smile curls his lips at the familiar bickering. He’s glad that Sasuke seems to have found some peace and not more despair from visiting this place with so many distressing memories.

The night is quiet save for the rumbling sounds of the waterfall and the sporadic noise of various nocturnal animals moving nearby. The peaceful calm of just lying next to Sasuke as they stare up at the stars has him slowly slipping into a light doze. Without opening his eyes, he gives a vague hum of acknowledgment when he hears Sasuke call his name softly.

They don’t tend to do much cuddling outside of the times when they’re intimate, so Naruto opens a tired eye to stare at him lazily when Sasuke lays his hand on his shoulder and says, “come here.”

Naruto turns his head and opens his other eye as well, raising an eyebrow at the subtle demand. “What, you wanna cuddle with me? Thought I ran too hot for such things?”

He watches as Sasuke’s mouth turns down with irritation and he motions Naruto in the opposite direction. “Just roll over and shut up, Usuratonkachi.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He complies with Sasuke’s behest and rolls onto his left side. When he doesn’t immediately move closer, Naruto glances over his shoulder to see Sasuke looking at him with a contemplative look in his eyes. “Well? You gonna come cuddle or just stare at me all night?”

A small frown twists his lips as he nods his head sharply to motion Naruto to face forwards again. “I thought I told you to turn around and shut up.”

“And I thought I told you that you can’t tell me what to do, asshole.” But he turns his head and gets comfortable anyways. He’s already dozing off again when he absently feels Sasuke’s arm wrapping around his waist as he finally slips closer to press up against his back. Feeling happy and cozy at the results of such an unexpected ‘request’, Naruto smiles to himself as he sinks back into Sasuke’s chest. He loves when he gets to be so comfortably close to his most precious person.

He’s just about to open his mouth to mumble a goodnight, when he feels the gentle press of lips against his nape and a slight tightening of the arm around him. “What are you doing? I’m trying to sleep, bastard.”

Another kiss is pressed into the curve of his neck as Sasuke mumbles, “nothing.”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing to me.” He feels a sharp bite to the same spot and winces.

“Shut. Up.”

Naruto allows a few open mouthed kisses to pepper softly across his skin but grabs the wandering hand that attempts to slip up the hem of his shirt. “What’s with you?”

“Nothing.” Sasuke expertly twists his wrist out of the hold and stubbornly slides his hand up along Naruto’s belly.

“Once again, doesn't seem like nothing to me.” Despite his halfhearted protests, Naruto allows the kisses and the slow slide of Sasuke’s hand along his stomach to continue. But when Sasuke pulls him a little closer and Naruto feels his apparent interest against the back of his thigh, he shoves the asshole’s face away from his neck and whines, “I’m tired, Teme.”

The wandering hand pauses and retreats to his hip as Sasuke lays his forehead between his shoulder blades and mumbles, “sorry. I’ll stop if you really want to sleep. I just…” He hears a muffled sigh before Sasuke continues in such a quiet voice, he almost doesn’t hear it. “I just need to feel you, Naruto. I need to know you’re really here with me.”

The slightly pleading note to Sasuke’s voice has Naruto suddenly wide awake at such an emotional entreaty. And apparently…interested. He leans back into Sasuke’s chest a little more and guides the hand on his hip back to its previous position on his belly. “Okay. You can feel me.” It’s barely a breath of air, but Sasuke apparently understands his acquiescence and pulls him a bit closer while pressing his lips against his nape again.

The open mouthed kisses resume across the back of his neck but when the trail is hindered by the fabric covering his shoulder, Sasuke lets out a frustrated noise and tugs at the hem of his shirt. “Take this off and lay back down. Pants too.”

He pushes himself up enough to remove his shirt and an amused huff leaves his mouth when he feels the obviously impatient bastard already untying his pants and attempting to shove both layers of fabric over his hips. Once his shirt is tossed to the side, Naruto rests his weight onto his elbow and awkwardly lifts his lower half to aid Sasuke’s insistent movements. He brings his own hand down to offer assistance and is barely able to bite back a surprised moan when he feels Sasuke’s hand slide along the curve of his ass as he pushes the fabric down. He evidently didn’t muffle the sound well enough, as he feels the hand pause before slowly gliding back up his skin. Naruto wriggles his legs to shimmy the pants the rest of the way down and doesn’t even try to muffle another moan when the action is repeated and he hears the breathlessness in Sasuke’s voice. “Your skin is really soft. I like it.”

Such an unexpected compliment has his cheeks heating with slight embarrassment, so he halts the motions on his ass and urges, “just take your damn clothes off and get on with it, Sasuke.”

Naruto is surprisingly unsurprised when he feels the naked skin pressed against his own as the bastard immediately crowds his space again.

He glances over his shoulder with fond exasperation. “You were pretty sure of yourself, huh?”

Sasuke meets his eyes as he lowers his lips against the back of his shoulder and mumbles into the skin. “Hmm…let’s just call it…cautiously optimistic. Now shut up and turn around.”

Rolling his eyes, he turns to face forwards again and tilts his head to offer the room Sasuke apparently wants for exploration. “Sure.” He reaches back to take hold of his arm and guides it back to his waist. “Your seduction worked so keep feeling me, Teme.”

There’s a sharp nip to his ear and the warm breath of a whisper into it that sends a shiver down his spine. “That’s my intention, Usuratonkachi.”

Now unhindered by the shirt, Naruto feels the sensual slide of Sasuke’s lips trailing more of those wet, open mouthed kisses down his neck and across his shoulder. The combined sensation of teeth lightly scraping over his skin and the calloused palm gliding firmly up and down his side cause a shuddery moan to tumble out of Naruto’s mouth. He throws his arm back to grasp blindly at Sasuke’s hip and does his best to tug him closerclosercloser. Despite his clumsy attempt, he at least gets his message across, and the contact of Sasuke’s hardness pressing into the crevice between his cheeks pulls a groan from both of them.

Naruto didn’t think he’d feel as much pleasure as he does from such contact, but he’s pleasantly surprised by the revelation. Especially when Sasuke pulls his hips back slightly before thrusting them forward again while simultaneously digging his teeth into the flesh between his neck and shoulder. Naruto’s left hand curls tightly into the pillow under his head while his right scrabbles against Sasuke’s skin encouragingly. A wicked tongue licks languidly across the bite and Naruto can feel the smirk on Sasuke’s lips when they’re pressed into his skin.

“I’m going to feel you more now.” The declaration is breathed against his skin as Sasuke’s hand slides down towards Naruto’s now straining erection, but the motion stops before he makes contact with it.

His response is an indignant growl through clenched teeth. “Then quit your fucking teasing and keep going.” Give me moremoremore, Sasuke.

An amused chuckle rings in his ear as Sasuke finally touches him more intimately with a firm grip and a slow glide up and down. Naruto tilts his head back and bites his lip harshly to stifle his groan as he pushes his hips back into Sasuke’s. He is immensely satisfied by the choked curse his action elicits, but when the fingers around his weeping cock tighten, he lets out a swear of his own. Sasuke uses the next downward motion of his hand to pull Naruto into another thrust of his hips and the sensations he feels against such intimate places is so deliciously pleasurable that he has to shove his face into the pillow to muffle a moan.

They continue like that at a steady pace; slow movements and quick, panting breaths. The atmosphere is more of an expression of their emotional connection than purely a means to a physical release. It’s languid and impassioned but still just as all consuming as their typical frenetic, impatient couplings. It’s ‘I’m here with you’ and ‘I forgive you’. It’s ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I’m trying’. It’s ’we’ll always have this bond’ and ‘we can’t possibly survive alone’.

When Naruto feels the thrusts against his ass become uncoordinated, losing their previously measured rhythm, he realizes they are both getting close and decides he absolutely needs to feel Sasuke’s lips on his. He twists his arm up to grasp at sweat damp hair and uses the hold to insistently pull Sasuke’s mouth from his neck to meet his own. The jerky motions of their colliding bodies and their unrestrained but stifled moans culminates in a wet, messy kiss that mostly consists of panting harshly into each other's mouths while sharing an intense, soulful stare.

The abrupt tensing of Sasuke’s body, the rough shove of his cock between his asscheeks, the harsh bite on his bottom lip, and the sudden unyielding grip on his cock create an erotic cocktail so intense Naruto is surprised he doesn’t black out with the force of the orgasm it induces. His hand tightens in Sasuke’s hair and he squeezes his eyes shut as he rides out the unexpected ecstasy the combination of pain and pleasure causes.

When he opens his eyes his vision is slightly blurry as he tries to focus on Sasuke’s face. As always, the glow of the Rinnegan and Sharingan rove over his features avidly, permanently committing them to his lover’s memory. Sasuke finally releases the teeth from his bottom lip and Naruto licks absently at the broken skin, attracting the gaze of those keen heterochromatic eyes to his mouth.

They both breathe heavily into the thick air between them and once his lungs have enough oxygen to speak, Naruto asks, “Think you can grab a couple of those wet socks from the line to clean us up, or are we gonna wake up stuck together with your cum?”

Sasuke blinks away the Sharingan with a sigh before messily smearing his hand across Naruto’s hip as he slowly moves to stand. As he walks across the campsite, Naruto admires the way his muscles move, running his gaze unashamedly up and down along all the lithe lines of that pale, battle hardened body. A body capable of both unbounded destruction and seductive gratification. When Sasuke turns around and catches his unabashed ogling, he frowns and throws a sock to smack wetly against his forehead.

“Wipe that stupid look off your face and clean yourself, idiot,” he growls as he perfunctorily wipes himself off with another sock before tossing it to the ground and grabbing another. Naruto pulls the cloth from his face with a smile and complies lazily. Sasuke sits behind him with a fond, exasperated sigh and begins cleaning the mess from Naruto’s back with a quiet, “Usuratonkachi.”

Once they are sufficiently clean and laid back down on the bedroll, Sasuke urges him closer with a mumbled, “come here.” Naruto smiles and curls up against his side to rest his head into the crook of Sasuke’s neck. He’s definitely tired now, so he closes his eyes and nuzzles a little closer when languorous fingers run soothingly through his hair. The gentle motions are slowly lulling him to sleep and he thinks he hears Sasuke say something, but it doesn’t make it to his ears as he suddenly drifts off.

—————————

Sasuke lays awake for a while staring at the stars while absently running his fingers through soft, golden hair. He’s almost certain Naruto didn’t hear his words before falling asleep. As soon as they left his lips, he felt a sudden sense of relief that he wasn’t expecting. I love you, Naruto. Four simple words that previously caused him such anxiety at even the thought of speaking them aloud, were almost surprisingly uncomplicated in the long run. Even if Naruto actually did hear them and merely passed out before he could respond, unlikely a scenario as that would be, the result is the same. It turned out to be so much easier than he had apparently made it out to be in his head. He’s honestly a bit disappointed with himself and his overthinking over the whole situation.

He turns his head to look at Naruto’s face, pressed up against him and snoring softly. The light puffs of the breaths against his skin are a little ticklish, but he doesn’t make any motions to move him. Sliding his hand down to his cheek, he lightly runs the tips of his fingers across the smooth skin and wishes he could see the blueblueblue of his eyes. It’s Sasuke’s favorite feature and he could stare into them all day, just basking in the feeling of utter completion he feels when drowning in those depths.

“I love you, Naruto.” The words are whispered into the quiet night air and Sasuke finds it a bit easier to say the second time, even if they go unheard again. If it turns out he was right and Naruto didn’t hear him the first time either, he wonders if he should tell him in the morning once they’re both awake. He scrunches his brow a bit in consideration, thinking that perhaps saving them for a special occasion might be best instead. Then he scoffs at himself for having such a ridiculously romantic thought. He feels slightly nauseous at the idea that maybe they have become one of those sappy, lovesick couples. ‘What has this moron turned me into?’ With an irritated sigh, he closes his eyes and decides to think about it in the morning. He lays his hand over the tan one on his chest and yawns silently before finally falling asleep.

Sasuke dreams about his mother that night.

They’re alone together in the kitchen of his family home, Sasuke seated at the low table watching silently as his mother prepares them some tea. In that vague, slightly cognizant feeling of a dream, he realizes that he’s not the child he was when she was killed, but appears to be in his late teens instead. When his mother turns around with a smile and she looks exactly the same as he remembers, the fleeting realization fades away like mist disappearing.

A steaming cup is placed in front of Sasuke before his mother retrieves her own and sits down across from him. They sit in peaceful silence while sipping their tea, until his mother breaks it to ask, “so what are your plans today?”

He glances up as he swallows and answers, “Naruto and I are going to lunch before we meet up with some old classmates for a spar.”

“That sounds nice. Ichiraku, I’m assuming?”

Sasuke levels her with a blank look and huffs, “as if that moron would eat out anywhere else.”

She places her elbow on the table and rests her head atop her fist, smiling at him brightly. “Have you told him yet?”

He looks at her in confusion at the seemingly random and unspecified question. “Told him what?”

Picking up his cup to take another sip, he almost chokes on it at his mother’s next words. “That you love him, of course!”

Pounding his fist against his chest to help ease the liquid down, he looks at her incredulously as he feels his cheeks warm in embarrassment. “Kaasan!”

The laugh she lets out is a tinkling melody and she’s almost giddy with her apparent joy. “So have you?”

With a light scoff, he looks down at the table in front of him, unable to meet her keen gaze. He scratches lightly at a small, random gash in the tabletop before mumbling, “aren’t we a little young for that?”

“Pssh. You’re seventeen already and both of you are fully fledged shinobi. Besides, if you truly feel that way, who cares about a silly little thing like age?”

He glances up at her without raising his head and wishes he wasn’t having this conversation with his mother. He’s embarrassed beyond belief, and prays his father or brother don’t suddenly walk into the room. The tender encouraging look in her eyes, spurs him to quietly admit, “no, I haven’t.”

A disappointed pout forms on her lips as she sighs. “Why not? I know you do, and he most certainly feels the same. It’s written all over both your faces whenever you look at each other.”

Coughing into his hand at his evident transparency, he knows his cheeks are surely bright red with the heat he can feel in them. ‘Why is this happening to me?’ He takes another sip of his tea just to give himself a moment to put his thoughts into words before he ends up babbling a bunch of nonsense. “It’s just…weird, Kaasan. I’ve never said those words to anyone who wasn’t family and even though I know he wouldn’t judge me even if it turns out he doesn’t feel the same way, I feel like I’ll just…ruin everything somehow.”

“My sweet, silly boy. Things between the two of you could never be ruined. You’ve been attached at the hip since you were babies, even if you did spend quite a few years embroiled in competitive rivalry. Though that hasn’t really changed, has it? Even now that you’ve been dating for the past year, you’re still each other’s biggest rivals. But I suppose that can be a good thing. It’s pushed you both to become very talented shinobi and brought you closer together.” She pauses for a moment to smile at him happily. “I’m so glad you fell in love with your best friend. Naruto-kun is a lovely young man and you compliment each other incomparably.”

Sasuke sighs and takes another calming sip before muttering, “when would I even say such a thing?”

She lays lightly crossed arms onto the table and leans forward a bit. “That’s easy! Whenever the time feels right.”

He opens his mouth to ask what the hell that even means, but Naruto bursts into the kitchen before he’s able to.

“Hey Mikoto-san!” He exclaims with a sunny smile and a cheery wave as he walks over with a wrapped bento and holds it out to her. “Kaachan sent these cookies over for you! She hopes you enjoy them.”

“Thank you Naruto-kun. I’ll make sure to send the box back to her with something just as delicious as these surely are!”

Naruto grins and gives her a thumbs up before turning to him. “Hey, Teme. You almost ready to go? We don’t have much time to eat before we’re due at the training grounds.” He’s impatiently bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement, most likely at the thought of ramen and not the friendly spar they have scheduled.

With an irritated frown at the interruption before he could get clarification on such an important issue, Sasuke sighs as he pushes himself to his feet. “Calm down, Usuratonkachi. I’m coming.”

As he’s walking out the door, he hears his mother say fondly, “I love you, Sasuke.”

He looks over his shoulder and smiles. “Love you too, Kaasan.” His smile turns a bit sheepish as he glances at Naruto before meeting her kind, loving eyes again. “And uh. Thanks. For the tea and…you know…”

“I’m here anytime you need me.” She raises her voice a bit so Naruto will be able to hear. “Have a good day boys!”

“We will Mikoto-san!”

The last thing Sasuke sees before the dream fades away is a frozen snapshot of the loving smile on his mother’s face.

As he slowly opens his eyes, her soft voice rings in his head. First, ‘I love you, Sasuke’. Then a moment later, ‘That’s easy! Whenever the time feels right’. He figures it’s just his subconscious trying to figure out the timing, but it sounds like exactly what his mother would’ve said if she were here. He feels a moment of despair over the tragic loss of her unconditional love, but the comforting remnants from such a peaceful dream have it quickly dissipating.

Feeling slightly overheated, he realizes Naruto has moved in his sleep and is now spread over his chest, still softly snoring away. He’s about to shove him off to get away from his body heat, but changes his mind and gently shifts him to lay beside him instead. He sits up and looks down at his sleeping face and thinks, ‘whenever the time feels right, huh?’ Of course even in his dreams the damned idiot had to make things difficult. He really would have liked to hear her response to his question, even if it was only his own mind conjuring the words.

The dim light of his surroundings tells him it’s still very early in the morning, but he’s feeling refreshed, even after only a few hours of sleep. He pushes himself to his feet and walks over to his bag to retrieve his journal and a fresh shirt to replace the slightly sweaty one he’s currently wearing. After exchanging the clothing, he sits back against the fallen tree trunk again and quietly opens it on his lap. The pencil he uses as both writing instrument and bookmark slowly rolls off the edge of the page, but he blindly catches it before it hits the ground. Closing his eyes and taking a moment to fully recall the dream, he sighs as he reopens them to focus on the page as he begins to record it all before it can fade away as dreams tend to do.

He’s writing the last few words when he hears a tired yawn. Finishing up, he closes the book and sets it aside as he looks up to see Naruto pushing himself up on one hand and rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the other. He watches as the sleepy blond glances around before that blueblueblue gaze lands on him. “Morning, Sasuke,” he greets around another yawn.

“Good morning.”

Naruto sits up and pulls his sweat damp shirt away from his chest with a grimace. “Maybe I do run too hot.”

Scowling with slight irritation, he replies, “you most certainly do. Your sweaty body was sprawled all over me when I woke up.”

Waving a dismissive hand in the air, Naruto stands and walks to retrieve a new shirt with a muttered, “yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you don’t enjoy my body all over yours, bastard.”

“Not when you’re a sweaty mess, I don’t.”

Naruto pauses as he’s about to pull the new shirt over his head and raises a suggestive eyebrow at him. “You sure about that?”

With a heavy, exasperated sigh, Sasuke just gives him a flat stare and ignores the obvious truth of the statement. Because, yeah, the idiot is right, he does enjoy that sweaty body all over his. Though he infinitely prefers it in a different scenario than waking up with sweaty clothes from a moron who doesn’t know how to keep his ungodly heat to himself when he sleeps.

Naruto huffs a laugh as he pulls the shirt over his head. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

When Naruto doesn’t mention hearing his confession, which he most definitely would have if he had, Sasuke deduces that his words did indeed go unheard. He finds himself slightly disappointed. After his mother’s words in the dream, he wonders if that could have been the right time. Declaring his love after such a beautiful, intimate sharing of their hearts and bodies. Once again, he is a bit perturbed that the moron seems to foil all of his plans, consciously or not.

After they’ve eaten and packed up their belongings, they stop to take one last look at the waterfall before they leave. Sasuke stares down at those stone hands in the water below and lightly grasps two of Naruto’s fingers with his own, mirroring the Unison Sign at the bottom of the falls. Naruto squeezes his fingers and he can feel his eyes on him.

Sasuke continues to stare down into the water and says, “I'm glad we have some good memories here now. I may have lost my shit for a bit and cried like a goddamn baby, but…I think I really needed that.” He finally turns to meet blueblueblue eyes and the emotions in them make him feel warm and safe; it feels like home. “Thank you. For saving me here, and being with me while I fell apart last night. I’m glad I never came here alone, because I most likely would have thrown myself over the edge.”

His fingers are released and Naruto punches him lightly in the shoulder with a small scowl. “Don’t say such things! You’re the strongest person I know!” He pauses and frowns a bit. “Well, I mean, you have made some very questionable choices over the years, but when you're not trying to take over the world, you’re always very composed and stuff. You pride yourself on your self control. Besides, I know you wouldn’t have done that. We die together, ya know? I wouldn’t survive losing you like that and I’m sure you already knew that, even before…” he trails off and his cheekbones gain a light flush as he rubs the back of his head awkwardly. “Anyway! What I’m saying is, I think you would have been okay, not great obviously, but you would’ve survived it. But I’m glad we decided to do this together. It was really great to experience this with you, and I’m so grateful I was able to be here when you were feeling that way. I’ll always be here when you need me, Sasuke. Don’t ever doubt that.”

The wide grin directed at him is so blinding it’s almost worse than staring at the sun, but it’s impossible for Sasuke to look away. He feels warmer and more alive than he ever has before. He meant it when he said he needed that moment of weakness last night. To completely fall apart and let out all the despair and pain over what happened here still buried in his heart. And being in the arms of his best friend and lover, feeling that safety and comfort and connection and acceptance as he did so; yeah, he definitely needed that. He finds himself feeling a bit lighter. ‘I’ll always need you, Naruto’.

A few minutes pass with them just standing there, listening to the loud sounds of the waterfall, feeling the light breeze, and enjoying the peaceful atmosphere and immutable connection between them. Eventually, Naruto heaves a loud breath, grabs at his sleeve and begins pulling him away from the cliff edge. “Cmon, let’s go, Teme. You said that there’s a town nearby and I really need some ramen, ya know?”

‘As if that moron would eat out anywhere else.’ The words from his dream echo softly in his head. An exasperated sigh leaves Sasuke’s lips and he easily twists his arm to flip the idiot over, with the intended result of landing him flat on his back on the ground. “Of course you do.”

“Ouch, you asshole. What the fuck was that for!?”

Sasuke just starts walking and glances over his shoulder. “Nothing.”

“Nothing, he says.” As he pulls himself to his feet to follow after him, Naruto sticks his tongue out childishly and folds his arms behind his head. “Ya know, I think that’s the thing I miss most about being in Konoha.” A dreamy look sets itself on his face, obviously daydreaming about Ichiraku, before he frowns a bit and drops his hands to his sides. “Actually…that’s not true at all. I kinda…really miss everyone, ya know?” Naruto looks at him with panicked eyes before adding, “it’s not that I don’t like being out here with you though! I love it! And I know it’s only been a couple of months since we left but I just…I’m not used to being away from home or my friends for this long anymore. I’m so completely happy to be traveling with you, but it would be nice to see them again. We both know letters aren’t really the same as seeing each other in person, ya know?”

Sasuke glances at Naruto before looking forward again. “No. It’s not.” Out of the corner of his eye, he watches as Naruto fiddles nervously with the straps of his backpack and scuffs a foot along the ground. He can already tell he’s probably not going to like what comes out of his friend’s mouth next.

“Hey, Sasuke? Do you think…I mean, it’s not too far away, ya know? Well, at your pace it kinda is, but could we possibly…take a detour and visit for a bit? I know you don’t want to go back for a while but…” he trails off and lets out a long exhale, as if preparing himself for an assured rejection to his request. Sasuke returns his gaze to the path in front of them and tries to ignore the gnawing pit growing in his stomach. “Do you think we could stop there? You don’t even have to come with me if you really don’t want to return so soon. You could just stay nearby.”

Sasuke is ready to refuse because he meant it when he said he didn't want to go back to that village for a long while. But…when he looks over and sees Naruto’s big blueblueblue eyes and the hopeful plea in them, he finds it almost impossible to deny this idiot anything. He once again turns his gaze forward. “It would be just a visit?” He tries to confirm, because surely once he’s back in Konoha and surrounded by his friends again, he’ll decide he really does belong there with them and not out here with Sasuke.

Naruto takes a few quick strides ahead before walking backwards in front of him. There’s a lopsided smile on his face and those eyes are soft and sincere. “Of course. I just want to see them all for a bit, ya know?” He pauses for a moment before continuing emphatically. “I’m not done traveling with you, Sasuke. Not at all.”

He comes to a halt and Naruto trips over his own feet when he tries to as well. But Sasuke’s there to catch the moron by grabbing the front of his shirt and preventing him from falling on his ass. With his hand still fisted in the blond’s shirt, Sasuke looks at him to study his eyes and sees the sincerity in them. “I won’t go back there. Not yet at least.” He watches as Naruto’s face falls a bit and continues. “But if you really want to go visit, you can. I’ll do what you suggested and stay nearby. I just can’t…I can’t go there again yet.” He’s feeling far too vulnerable after his meltdown the previous night and just knows being there would make him feel even more uncomfortable and uneasy than he usually does while there.

A radiant smile curls Naruto’s lips and he says, “really? You don’t mind?”

“It’s fine.” It's not fine. He knows he’ll end up spending their time apart anxiously wondering whether his most precious person will indeed return to him. But he supposes the disquietude is a small sacrifice if this will make Naruto happy. ‘Ugh. All this sappy bullshit makes me sick. It’s ridiculous.’

Apparently Naruto doesn’t find anything amiss in his answer as he just quickly leans forward to wrap his arms around Sasuke’s back, effectively squishing his hand between their bodies in the process. “Thank you, Sasuke.” Naruto pulls back and pokes him in the chest insistently. “And don’t you worry about it and think I’ll change my mind! I won’t!”

‘So he noticed after all.’ Sasuke grabs the finger and shoves it away from his face with an annoyed scowl. “I’m not going to worry. Perhaps it’ll be nice to have a break from all your hyperactivity and noise.”

With a scoff, Naruto grabs his backpack straps and starts to walk backwards for a moment before turning around and glancing over his shoulder. “Whatever you say, bastard. I know you’re gonna miss me. Now c'mon. I want ramen!”

‘I always miss you when you’re not beside me.’ Sasuke heaves a sigh and follows after him. He walks a few paces behind for a bit before Naruto stops and waits for him. He excitedly launches into a recap of the latest letters he’s received from his friends, but Sasuke mostly tunes it out as they continue on their way towards the nearby village so the idiot can have his damned ramen.

————

When they arrive at the fairly small town about two days later, it’s already early evening. He's pulled enthusiastically towards the inn that includes an onsen, because Naruto says it’ll be great to have warm water instead of, in his words, ‘freezing their asses off in various natural bodies of water’ and Sasuke has to admit he agrees. A nice, hot soak sounds divine after the emotional mess he was at the Final Valley and the subsequent couple days before reaching this town.

He spent those days stuck in his own head, and even though Naruto did his best to engage him, he found himself unable to clear his insistent thoughts enough to do so. His friend didn’t seem particularly bothered by it though, used to his long bouts of silence, but he could tell by the occasional concerned glances he received that Naruto could tell he was a bit distracted. The dream he had about his mother and the conversation they had in it has been rattling around in his brain the entire time.

First, it was the feelings of nostalgia and sorrow he always experiences when thinking of his family. He misses them terribly. And although he now has such a powerful, loving ‘Ugh. Sappy bullshit.’ bond with Naruto, as fulfilling as it is, it will never be able to totally replace the love and comfort he felt before he lost his entire clan. Even if it gets a little easier to deal with each day that passes, he knows the feeling of loss will never completely go away. He will always carry this burden and it’s just something he needs to continue to deal with and accept.

The second thing circling in his thoughts was, of course, his mother’s words. Her suggestion of ‘whenever the time feels right’ Over and over and over again they cycled through his mind. ‘When exactly is the right time? Is it now, while we’re just casually walking down the road? Or at some special moment or place? Perhaps when we’re wrapped in each other’s arms and falling asleep again? Should I just wait until the next time Naruto says it and return the sentiment then?’ Over and over and over and over and over again. It’s exhausting and quite honestly pissing him the fuck off. He’s not used to being so unsure of himself. Anxiety and worry are not something he feels very often and it’s extremely frustrating, all this overthinking he’s doing. After all, didn’t he already decide that it was really quite easy when he first said it, even if Naruto didn’t hear him? ‘Knock it the fuck off and pull yourself together! You are Uchiha Sasuke and agonizing over a few simple words is ridiculous and unbecoming.’ he finally affirms to himself and decides to do just that.

He makes this decision as they’re walking up to the inn, and before they go inside he takes a deep breath and thinks ‘the right time will come. Just stop thinking about it and enjoy the idiot’s company already.’

After renting a room and dropping off their meager belongings, they go to get Naruto his precious ramen for dinner. He watches with a mildly disgusted frown as the idiot inhales three bowls while he’s still working on his first. It’s not an abnormal occurrence, but it elicits the same reaction from Sasuke every time. On their way back to the inn, Naruto spots a needlessly large frog plushie that he ‘absolutely needs’ to have. When he tells the moron it’s too big to bring with them traveling, Naruto scoffs and tells Sasuke he’ll ‘put it in the damned storage scroll, duh. That's what it’s for, asshole’.

The room they’re staying in for the night is cozy and warm. There’s a small table pushed against a wall where they sit together silently when they return. Naruto writes a letter to Kakashi letting him know he’s on his way back to visit, and Sasuke pulls his journal out again to jot down some of his observations on this town. It’s way past dark once they’ve both finished and Naruto suggests they go to the onsen.

“It’s almost eleven at night, Naruto. It’s probably closed.”

Naruto shakes his head as he continues pulling out their bath supplies. “Nah. I already checked. Doesn’t close until midnight. C'mon. Let’s go!”

Sasuke acquiesces and they grab a couple of towels and bath yukatas on their way out the door to follow the hallway towards the onsen. It’s thankfully empty when they arrive, unsurprising considering the late hour, and Sasuke is grateful for the seclusion. He intends to enjoy the long, hot bath in front of them and he’s glad there’s no one else to disturb the calm, quiet atmosphere. Naruto’s suggestion that they go at such a time of day was indeed a good one.

Once he’s rinsed off and seated on one of the built in benches along the edges, Sasuke leans his head back and sighs in contentment. The water reaches just below his shoulders with the way he’s slouched and is the perfect temperature to help ease the tension from his body. He takes a breath before submerging his head and when he resurfaces he finds Naruto sitting across from him in the water just staring back at him dumbly.

“Stop staring at me with that stupid look on your face again, Usuratonkachi.” The statement is punctuated with a large splash of water to Naruto’s face before he pushes his wet hair away from his face and sits back in his original position. As he shuts his eyes, he hears Naruto mutter an insult under his breath before falling into silence.

“Hey, Sasuke?”

The use of his proper name in lieu of the expected insult, and the tone it's said in, has him opening a dark eye in sudden interest. It tends to precede certain…things. Enjoyable, satisfying things.

Immediately he sees the blueblueblue of his eyes and the sight lures his Rinnegan to open also. Naruto’s hair is wet, messy sunshine, falling over his forehead and dripping down over his face and onto the smooth, flawless tan chest. His whiskered cheeks are flushed from the hot temperature of the room and his eyes… Those blueblueblue eyes are round and sparkling in the low lighting of the room. Naruto is gorgeous, and Sasuke is spellbound.

Suddenly, Naruto’s head tilts and a smirk curves his perfect, rosy lips. “Like what you see, Teme?”

Sasuke blinks dazedly and realizes that once again, as it’s wont to do in these situations, his Sharingan has unconsciously activated to imprint the alluring view into his mind forever. While it’s certainly an extremely helpful tool as a shinobi, he thinks its ability to record such images may have become his new favorite use for it. He could do without the more horrific images that have been burned into his brain, but he figures it’s not a bad trade off. He absently wonders what his clan would say if they knew he was using his sacred Kekkei Genkai for such a self indulgent thing.

His eyes sweep across Naruto in the same intent manner he uses for battle, taking in every detail in front of him. When his lover stands up and more of that lithe, lean body is revealed to him, Sasuke’s gaze follows as a stray droplet slides down before it joins the rest of the water sloshing gently around his trim waist.

Naruto moves silently across the bath with slow, unfaltering steps before stopping in front of him. His lover’s almost elegant movements are so incongruous with his usual clumsy fumbling, that Sasuke can only stare in fascination as the blond slides into his lap with much more grace than expected.

Sasuke closes his eyes and tilts his head back, biting down on a groan at the weight of Naruto’s body settling against his wakening arousal. When nimble arms loop around his neck and eager fingers thread into his hair, he grips harshly at a pliant thigh and dives into the inviting expanse of that enticing neck. He sucks languidly at the base of the tan throat before lightly sinking his teeth into the spot. Naruto moans at the action, giving Sasuke’s mouth a bit more space as he tips his head
and rolls his hips with seductive leisure. Sasuke digs his fingernails into muscled flesh and mutters against the damp skin, “fuck. We’re in public, Usuratonkachi.” Feeling absolutely enthralled, he meets Naruto’s next motion with a small thrust upwards. “What are you doing to me?”

The fingers in his hair tighten and pull his head closer as their movements continue despite Sasuke’s half hearted admonishment. Naruto’s answer is a whisper in his ear. “Nothing.”

Sasuke grunts a slightly tortured curse into his lover’s neck before mumbling against the skin he can’t stop devouring, “we can’t do this here. Someone could walk in.”

“It’s fine.”

“Fuck you, Naruto.” A sharp, reproving nip punctuates the words.

“Sure.”

Having his own words parroted back to him like this is excruciatingly arousing and he can’t seem to help himself in spite of his obvious reservations. “Stop it, Usuratonkachi.”

“Stop what, Teme?” he questions dismissively before pulling Sasuke’s face up to meet his lips in an utterly filthy kiss.

Sasuke groans into his mouth as he slides his hand from a sinewy thigh to roughly grab at the curve of his lover’s hip. He uses the firm hold to encourage their restless movements before pulling back with a breathless gasp. Heaving in deep breaths and closing his eyes, he leans his forehead against Naruto’s and forces his hips to still. “We can’t. Not here.”

“Then take me to bed already, Sasuke.”

They tumble through the door to their room and Sasuke shuts it by pressing Naruto up against the back of it. Buried once again in his lover’s neck and thoroughly involved with silky smooth skin, he barely hears Naruto whisper, “Sasuke, I want to…”

He nods absently and roughly shoves his hips against Naruto’s.

Naruto tilts his head and bites back a moan at a sharp nip before imploring, “…can we…”

Grabbing the curve of his lover’s ass and pulling him closerclosercloser, he mumbles distractedly, “I know. I want it too.” His mind clears enough that he realizes they don’t have the type of supplies needed to facilitate such actions and he groans with disappointment. “Fuck. We can’t right now. We need…stuff.”

“Oh. Right, yeah…” A leg is wrapped around the back of his thigh and eager hands pull his hips forward. “Next time though…yeah?”

Pulling back to look into blueblueblue eyes, he squeezes his fingers into supple flesh and promises, “yeah. Yeah, definitely.”

Laying side by side on their backs, breaths harsh, hearts racing, and just staring into each other’s sated eyes, they bask in the afterglow for a few minutes before Naruto breaks the silence.

“You really want to?”

“With you, I do.”

Naruto’s brow furrows a bit. “Well, obviously with me, Teme.”

Sasuke shakes his head slowly. “No, I mean only with you. I’d never do anything like this with anyone but you. Ever.”

Naruto’s eyes are wide and his mouth drops open a bit. “Oh.” He turns his head to look up at the ceiling and mumbles, “would you want to…like…back at the falls…?”

“Are you asking me to fuck you, Naruto?”

A furious blush coats whiskered cheeks before they are hidden from view behind the hands Naruto throws over his face. “Bastard. Don’t say it so crudely, but yes, okay?”

Sasuke smiles fondly at him and replies, “sure.”

Chapter Text

They stop at a small abandoned town where Sasuke says he’ll wait for him. It must have been deserted quite a while ago with the buildings being as dilapidated as they are. Fiddling anxiously with his backpack straps as he stands in front of Sasuke, Naruto chews on his bottom lip as he contemplates stealing a kiss before he leaves. Since the evolution of their relationship, they’ve never had to say goodbye for longer than a couple of hours and he finds himself wanting a parting taste of physical connection.

Despite the way they can’t seem to keep their hands to themselves whenever they are in the privacy of the woods or a rented room, their usual dynamic of bickering and poking each other’s buttons hasn’t changed much. Besides the occasional hand holding or cuddling after their intimate exploits, they’re not in any way some mushy, love-struck couple and Naruto is quite frankly glad they aren’t. It would make things terribly awkward and troublesome, though he can admit that he sometimes gets the impulse to just grab Sasuke and kiss him silly.

This is one such moment. The dark haired man is standing casually in front of a broken stone wall, looking at him with an inscrutable expression. As they continue to stand there in silence, Naruto wonders what Sasuke is thinking about.

“I’ll see-“

“Sasuke, I-“

They speak at the same time and Naruto motions him to go first.

“I’ll see you in a week, Usuratonkachi.”

Naruto nods emphatically with a bright grin. “Of course!” When he doesn’t say anything else, Sasuke furrows his brow and looks at him skeptically, like he knows there’s more Naruto wants to say. He looks down with a sigh and makes up his mind to just ask. It’s not the end of the world if his lover refuses him, though Naruto would be awfully disappointed if he did so.

“I’ve never spent this much time with you before and it’s been…amazing. It’s been so much fun and I just…I’m going to miss you. Like a lot. Probably more than I normally do every time we are separated.” He glances up through his lashes and sees a dark eyebrow raised as Sasuke stares at him. Irritated at his own inability to just ask a simple question, he lets out a huff of air and bites the bullet. “Can I kiss you, Teme?”

The other eyebrow mirrors the first, and Sasuke looks slightly baffled. “You want a goodbye kiss?”

Puffing out his cheeks and faintly scowling, Naruto hisses, “yes, okay? I won’t see you for a while and I just want…”

“It’s only a week, Usuratonkachi. You’ll survive.” He looks infuriatingly amused and Naruto is both irritated and captivated by it.

“Ugh. Stop being an asshole and just kiss me dammit.”

A brief chuckle leaves that smirking mouth. “Sure.”

It’s not in any way the brief peck he was expecting. The front of his shirt is grabbed in a tight fist and he’s pulled roughly into Sasuke as his lover smashes their mouths together. The kiss is deep and ravenous, like he’s starving and can’t be sated. Sharp teeth nip at his bottom lip and tug lightly as Sasuke pulls back to stare at him through half lidded eyes.

“Satisfied?”

Naruto is a bit dazed at such sudden intensity and nods slowly. “Yeah. That works.”

“Good. Now get going. I’ll be here when you come back.” Sasuke lets his shirt go and turns him around before shoving him in the right direction. Naruto glances back with a carefree grin and waves his arm over his head avidly. He’s just about to leave when Sasuke softly calls his attention back.

“Naruto.” He looks back over his shoulder to see Sasuke casually reclining against the wall with his lips curled a bit at the corner. “I’ll get what we need while you’re gone.”

Naruto can feel his cheeks warm at the seemingly innocuous statement and smiles serenely. “Okay. See you soon, Teme.”

————

Naruto makes it to Konoha less than a day later. The whole way back his mind replays that indecently divine goodbye kiss over and over and he does his very best to not let the memory arouse him. It won’t do to arrive at the village with an erection tenting his pants. Besides being extremely embarrassing, it would end up also being disappointing without his lover there to assist in alleviating it.

Sex with Sasuke is immensely satisfying. Besides just the sexual release, which is pleasurable beyond belief in its own right, he feels like it’s brought them even closerclosercloser than they already have been. They're connected in a way that is almost transcendental. All throughout their adolescence and teenage years they were constantly being pulled in opposite directions, the consequences of their pasts forcing them to walk diverging paths which rarely intersected. Each time they did though, it always felt like Naruto was finding his other half, a missing part of him that was only ever complete when he was near his best friend. After that last battle in the Final Valley, after seeing straight into each other’s hearts, he knew in the depths of his entire being that it was the same for Sasuke. They didn’t need to speak out loud to understand one another; every word could be read as clear as day in their eyes.

This new, sexual facet to their relationship, being as close to each other physically as they already are emotionally, is fulfilling in a way Naruto never knew was even possible. Whenever they are intimate it feels like he’s finally breathing air after being submerged under miles of ocean; finally seeing sunlight after years in the darkest of nights; finally having a drink of cold water after spending days walking through a scorching desert. Ever since that first time in front of a campfire in the middle of a forest, two eager bodies coming together in a clumsy rush to a finish line that was reached far too quickly, it has felt like he’s not completely whole unless he is wrapped up in Sasuke’s embrace.

Naruto has always enjoyed being the target of his best friend’s scrutiny. It soothes the part of him that has always been crying out for recognition and acceptance, and only ever seems to be appeased when those bewitching eyes are on him and only him. He’s spent his entire life fighting for every scrap of attention he could get, anything to alleviate the pain and loneliness of growing up without a family. But even now that he has a multitude of close friends and the acknowledgement of his beloved village, well on his way to achieving his dream to become Hokage, none of it seems to matter if Sasuke is not beside him.

After finally saving him and bringing him back to Konoha it was only less than a year that they got to spend together, and most of that time his best friend was locked in a cell. And then Sasuke, who couldn’t find peace in the village that he used to call home, once again left him behind. Naruto understood and accepted his reasons for not being able to stay, and they were on decidedly good terms, but it didn’t hurt any less. Naruto has done his best over these past three years to be happy with the people he was surrounded by, to find contentment in what he has, and to enjoy the little time he’s able to spend with Sasuke every few months. But it has never felt like enough, and now that they’ve spent the last couple of months traveling together, constantly in each other’s company with never a day apart, he realizes that it probably never will be enough. It couldn’t possibly be enough.

All this to say, Naruto is the happiest he’s ever been in his life; the most complete he’s ever been. Sharing this journey with Sasuke has shown Naruto that he needs his best friend, his lover. And isn’t that a strange concept to think about? That he and Sasuke are now lovers and share not only their hearts and souls but their bodies and pleasure as well. Every time they are together in that way, every moment of pure ecstasy between them is divine. He’d be worried about how often they engage in such activities if it weren’t for the fact that they both spent the entirety of puberty with the singular focus of training to become stronger and fighting for their lives. Neither of them had room for the base needs of teenagers, let alone to engage in any sort of exploration of those needs. The only sexual experience either of them had before a few months ago was self-induced and perfunctory. Being two horny young men who spend most of their days alone together with little else to keep them occupied, he supposes it’s only logical that ever since the gate on that particular path opened they’ve been largely unable to keep their hands off of each other.

They haven’t even fully consummated their relationship and Naruto has never felt more pleasure, more happiness, more completion. He wonders if it will just be the same feelings and sensations as always or something moremoremore, though he can’t even imagine how that could be possible. It’s inconceivable that there could be any higher form of connection than what they already have, but he’s incredibly eager to find out. It would have already happened if they hadn’t been so ill prepared that night at the onsen. Sasuke’s promise of ‘I’ll get what we need while you’re gone’ has been rolling around right beside the memory of that lascivious parting kiss. It’s almost enough to make him turn back around without even entering Konoha.

Naruto has been running without any breaks for hours when he finds himself walking through the imposing gates. He waves to Kotetsu and Izuma, stopping to chat for a couple of minutes before continuing to the Hokage Tower. Along the way, he’s stopped a few times by various friends and villagers all asking questions about his trip. Most are fairly benign ones; ‘What’s it like spending so much time out there?’ ‘It’s really great!’ ‘Have you done anything exciting?’ ‘Not really.’ Some of them, however, are far more combative; ‘What’s it like traveling all alone with Uchiha Sasuke?’ ‘I’m glad to finally spend so much time with my best friend.’ ‘He hasn’t hurt you, has he?’ ‘Of course not! He’s not like that anymore.’ And his least favorite one; ‘When are you coming home?’ ‘I don’t know yet.’ Because he doesn’t know, isn’t sure he even wants to. Just the thought of having an end date, a deadline, is enough to make him a bit nauseous.

When he invited him along, Sasuke told him, ‘I want nothing more than for you to be happy, Naruto. If staying in Konoha is enough for you, I understand and accept that. But I would really appreciate it if you joined me for at least a little while. I have seen your life here and I’d like it if you could see mine out there too.’ It had been a sincere and honest request and Naruto had accepted the invitation excitedly. Spending days on end seeing the world with his closest, most precious friend? Sign him up, he was ready to go. He never planned to stay out there forever. Konoha is his home, will always be home, and he left with every intention of returning home.

Lately though, as they grew closerclosercloser in every possible aspect, he’s been finding it harder and harder to look forward to when he eventually does. When Sasuke continues wandering the world alone, and Naruto goes back to a village full of people who accept and love him. But doesn’t Sasuke accept and love him too? He has always felt acceptance from his best friend, even if he had to drag the bastard kicking and screaming to actually acknowledge it. His love, however, is brand new and although Sasuke hasn’t been able to say those words aloud, Naruto knows he does. Sasuke loves him. And Naruto is happy in Konoha, but is it possible he could be even happier? Is staying in the village that his lover doesn’t want to live in, barely wants to step foot in, enough for him?

After finally making it to Kakashi’s office, he finds that the man is not there. Instead, Shikamaru sits in his usual position on the couch, absorbed in paperwork and only glancing up once Naruto announces his presence.

His friend waves a lazy hand and puts a handful of papers onto a stack of even more papers. ‘That’s definitely a plus to being out there. I sure don’t miss all this paperwork!’

“Good to see you, Naruto. Didn’t think I’d see you again so soon.”

Naruto scratches the back of his head and admits, “yeah, well, I really missed everyone.”

“We missed you too. Did you have a fun trip?”

“Oh, I’m just back for a visit. I’m meeting back up with Sasuke in a week.”

Shikamaru looks at him with an unreadable, yet far too knowing expression. He’s always known the man was smart, but he never thought he’d be this unnerved by it. Naruto is afraid of what and how much his friend can read just by looking at him. Does he know the conflicting feelings he’s having about returning? Does he know how he really feels about his best friend and their bond? Does he know how their relationship has changed? Does he know that more and more, Sasuke has become someone he can’t possibly live without?

“I see. Well, it’s good to have you back either way. Everyone will be glad to see you.”

“Yeah, I saw Kiba and Hinata on my way here. By the way, are they finally dating? They looked awfully close when I saw them together.”

“Yes. It’s a fairly recent development. A few weeks now, I believe. And Ino has been with Sai for over a month now.”

“Well I knew that was bound to happen.” He lets out a wistful sigh. “Geez. Didn’t think I’d miss so much good gossip. Or that I’d be hearing it from you!”

Shikamaru is still eying him in that all-seeing way of his and Naruto is feeling a bit too unbalanced to be the recipient of such a gaze. “Anyways, where’s Kakashi-sensei? Is he slacking off again?”

“No. He’s been in meetings all day. He should be back soon to help me finish up some of this work.” Shikamaru sends him a mild glare and adds, “without your help, it’s been troublesome to get through it all. As you know, it’s a lot and Kakashi is even lazier than I am.”

He rubs his head again and laughs sheepishly. “Yeah, I know. Sorry about that. But I-”

“You needed to go with Sasuke.”

Naruto’s smile drops a bit and he looks off to the side. He can’t meet that perceptive gaze anymore. “I know none of you particularly like him, but he’s my best friend. He’s all alone out there and I wanted…I needed to spend time with him. Outside Konoha, where he’s most comfortable. Even though I’m always happy when he comes to visit, it makes me feel so bad because I know he hates being here. I needed to see what he’s like when he’s not so…tense.”

Shikamaru nods sagely and picks up the papers he was working on when Naruto entered the room. “I know. It’s fine Naruto. You, of all people, deserve a break. I’m glad you are finally getting one.” He waves the stack in his hand and adds, “I’d love to keep chatting, but I really do need to get this done by the end of today. Preferably at a decent hour.”

“Yeah, I understand. Sucks having to stay up all night dealing with all of this.” While opening the door, Naruto looks over his shoulder. “Let's get lunch sometime this week!”

Already half absorbed in his work, Shikamaru nods absently and says, “sure. Sounds great.”

The hospital is his next stop as it’s the most likely place he’ll be able to find Sakura. Nearly all of her time is spent there and today seems to be no different. He sees her as soon as he walks through the doors, standing behind the reception desk and talking to a couple of her colleagues. Since she doesn’t seem to have noticed him, Naruto quickly walks over with a grin and a shout of her name.

She startles and glances around the room before their eyes meet and a huge smile appears on her face. She places a clipboard on the desk as she rounds it to come greet him with a hug. “Naruto! You’re back!”

He pulls her in tightly and lifts her off the ground for a moment, placing her back down gently as they part. He takes a minute to look her up and down to make sure she’s doing well. Sakura tends to overwork herself most days and it always shows in her posture and face. Her eyes are tired but happy, and while her stance was a bit slouched when he came in, she looks a little more lively now. He’s missed her the most. She’s his closest friend besides Sasuke, and they usually have lunch or dinner together at least once a week. And while they’ve been exchanging letters the whole time he’s been gone, it’s great to see her again and he can’t stop smiling.

“Yeah, I got here about an hour ago. Do you have time for dinner?”

She sighs in exasperation and folds her arms. “You know I always have dinner at eight and it is currently only six.”

He gives her a lopsided grin and tugs her arm so she’ll unfold them. “Cmon, Sakura-chan! You can eat a bit early today, can’t you? I’ve been gone for ages.” Both his smile and his voice soften. “I've really missed you.”

She lets out an exaggerated groan before relenting. “Alright. Let’s go then.”

She narrows her green eyes at him and jabs a finger into his chest. “But I can’t stay long today. I have a lot of labs to get through.”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it. All work, no play.” At the glare she sends his way, he rubs the back of his head nervously and takes a couple of cautious steps back. “Just kidding of course! I know your work is super important. We’re all very lucky to have such a talented doctor such as yourself!”

She looks at him with a skeptical frown before it turns into another smile. “And don’t forget it! Just let me grab my bag and we can go.”

“Great! I’ll meet you out front!”

On their way to Ichiraku, ‘I haven’t had it in forever, Sakura-chan! Pleeeease?’, they come across Ino and Sai exiting the Yamanaka family’s flower shop and invite the two of them along. The ramen is as delicious as he remembers, and they’ve just finished their food when Ino looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “There’s something different about you.”

Taken slightly aback, he frowns and looks down at himself before looking back at her. “What do you mean something different? I got some new clothes if that’s what you're talking about?”

She waves a hand in front of her face dismissively. “No, no. It’s not that.”

He fingers a lock of blond hair and asks, “my hair got longer?”

“No, that’s not it either.” Leaning her elbow on the table and resting her chin against a raised fist, she looks him up and down before gasping and slapping both hands onto the table. “Oh my god! You got laid, didn’t you!?”

Eyes widening to an almost painful degree and feeling warmth rising in his cheeks, Naruto leans back into his seat and stares at her dumbfounded. She can tell just by looking at me?! Can everyone tell?!

“Ino! Don’t be so crass!” Sakura exclaims from beside him.

“We’re all adults here, Sakura,” she scoffs before turning an interested gaze at Naruto. “Well? Did you and Sasuke-kun find a couple of ladies and have some fun times?”

“I, uh…”

Sai pipes up for the first time, “maybe it was with Sasuke.”

Everyone at the table turns to stare at him. Sakura looks confused, Ino seems amused at the idea, and Naruto is mortified. He wishes the ground would open up beneath him and swallow him whole right now. He’d even take an attack on the village over this conversation! No way this is fucking happening to me right now.

“That’s absurd. They may be close, but not like that.” Ino laughs as she waves it aside as impossible.

Sai shrugs his shoulders and smiles. “Just a thought.”

When Naruto takes a glance at Sakura, she’s staring at him in silence with the strangest expression on her face. She looks somewhere between flabbergasted and heartbroken and Naruto doesn’t know what she could possibly be thinking. He suddenly feels awful. He knows how much she likes Sasuke, claims to love him, and he feels nauseous with guilt even though he knows she never stood a chance with him. The last thing he wants to do is hurt her. He doesn’t want to lose her friendship, but he has a feeling that if she finds out about the nature of his relationship with Sasuke right now, it will put a rift between them at the very least.

Fuck! This is not the way this should be happening.

“Sakura-chan?” he ventures quietly.

All at once, her entire face crumbles and her voice is the barest whisper. “It’s true, isn’t it?” The table is so silent a pin dropping would sound like a bomb. All their eyes are on him and Naruto feels his cheeks flaming as he sits there uncomfortably and unable to speak. “Isn’t it?” she insists when he continues to sit there silently. Her expression loses some of its pain and is slowly being replaced by anger.

“Sakura-chan, I didn’t…I didn’t do it on purpose. It just kind of…happened.”

A scornful laugh falls from her mouth as she narrows her eyes at him. “How does something like that just happen? What, was it an accident or something? You just tripped and happened to fall on top of him and his dick just happened to slip inside you?”

Naruto squeezes his eyes shut and looks down at the table. His jaw is clenched tight but his mouth is slack in disappointment. He knew she wouldn’t be happy about it, but he didn’t think she’d be so cruel. Out of the corner of his eye, he watches Ino and Sai quietly excuse themselves. Once they’re gone from his view, he heaves a loud sigh and squares his shoulders before raising his eyes to meet her irate stare. She’s pissed. It shows on every line of her body; her pinched face, narrowed eyes, tightly crossed arms, stiff shoulders.

He’s been dreading this moment. He knew she would find out eventually because there’s no way he’d be able to keep something like this hidden forever, but he didn’t think she’d be quite this angry. Sakura knows that he and Sasuke’s bond is unlike any other. She’s mentioned on quite a few occasions that there’s some kind of weird vibe between the two of them, that their bond is unlike anything she’s seen. He supposes she is just so blinded by her love for Sasuke that she doesn’t want to see it for what it really is. That he and Sasuke share a bond so deep it was probably inevitable that it would take the turn into physical intimacy. Although Naruto didn’t exactly see it coming, he wasn’t very surprised when it did. He doesn’t know how to explain any of it to her though. He’s not even sure if she will actually listen. And surely she won’t accept it.

Naruto decides to be as truthful as he’s able to without causing too much embarrassment to himself. “Me and Sasuke’s relationship has changed, yes.”

“Changed? You’re fucking each other. That’s what you mean.” Her voice is a low hiss through clenched teeth.

“We…it’s not as simple as that, Sakura-chan. You know what we’ve been through together, how close we are. You’ve always known.”

“You two being best friends doesn’t mean you have to be together like that!”

Naruto sighs and looks back at the table. He’s exhausted and almost regrets coming back here at all. “Sasuke has always been more than just my best friend. I didn’t exactly know it would turn out like this, but there’s always been something there. Something I couldn’t quite figure out. Me and Sasuke are just…more.”

Her face twists into something awful, and she’s angrier than he’s ever seen her before. The way her fists are clenched tight and shaking makes him wonder if she’s about to hit him. He sort of wishes she was just heartbroken. It would certainly be better than the vitriol that’s spewing off her in waves. “Are you in love with him?”

“I-“ She must read something in his expression, because she cuts him off before he can say more than that one word.

“Stand up and let me out of this booth right now. I can’t stand to spend another minute with you.” If they weren’t in a restaurant, he knows she’d be screaming right now, but somehow her low tone is even more hurtful than being yelled at.

With a dispirited sigh, he pushes himself to his feet and steps back from the booth to let her up. “I’m not sorry for how things turned out with Sasuke, but I am sorry that I’ve hurt you. I didn’t intend to at all.”

“Don’t say another word.” She turns on her heel to storm out the door and Naruto feels his heart break a little. Sakura-chan…

After the debacle at Ichiraku, Naruto decides he’s had enough for the day. It’s only seven o’clock and he could certainly see some of his other friends before it gets too late, but he finds himself more tired than he’s been in a long time and just wants to sleep. I want to be near Sasuke.

When he arrives at his building, he comes to a stop when he sees Kakashi-sensei leaning against the wall beside his door. He’s not sure he’s able to talk to anyone else right now, but the man is there and it would be rude to turn him away when they haven’t seen each other in months.

He forces a smile onto his face as he walks closer. “Hey, Kakashi-sensei! I stopped by your office when I first got here, but Shikamaru said you’ve been in meetings.”

The older man nods and pushes away from the wall. “Yes. He told me you were there. I figured I’d come check in with you and see how your trip has been.” Naruto can’t see much of his expression with the ever present mask in place, but he can see the concern in his eyes. “Are you okay?”

Naruto wants to affirm it, but looking at his former teacher, he finds he can’t. And not just because the man is too perceptive. Naruto is not okay, and he knows pretending he is will only make him feel worse. “Sakura-chan and I just had a fight. A bad one. Like, catastrophic bad. She’s really mad at me right now and I’m not sure if she’ll ever even talk to me again.”

Kakashi sighs and puts his hands into his pockets. “That bad, huh?”

He nods slowly and moves to open his door. “Do you want to come in for a bit? I’m really tired, but it would be nice to visit before I go to sleep.” He scratches at his cheek and adds, “I kinda missed you while I was gone.”

“Only kinda?” he tries to tease, but seems to read the despondency in Naruto’s expression and changes tack. “I’d love to. And don't worry, I can’t stay long anyway. I have a very early day tomorrow and need to get to sleep myself.”

They sit at the kitchen table with cups of tea and Naruto finds he really wants to talk about the situation with someone who would perhaps understand. He’s not exactly sure how or where to start, so he decides to just be himself and ramble.

“It’s been really fun out there with Sasuke. You already know from my letters that we haven’t done much and we travel really slow, but it’s been the best couple of months in my entire life. I love getting to spend so much time with him. We’ve been separated for so long and even when he visits he's not really here, ya know? He hates being in Konoha and I know he only ever comes back to see me and check in with you. He’s never totally himself when he’s here, but out there…it’s like he’s a completely different person. He’s happier and at peace and doesn’t have any of the tension he always has here. It’s amazing to get to see him like that and I’m so glad he asked me to go with him.” He pauses in his rant to take a breath and looks up from the tabletop to meet dark eyes. “It’s going to be really hard to come back home for good. I’ve been kinda thinking…I might do this more often. Traveling with Sasuke I mean.”

Arms crossed and leaning back in his chair, Kakashi looks back at him and asks, “Is that what started the fight with Sakura? You want to leave the village more often?”

Naruto can feel his cheeks flush yet again and looks anywhere but at the older man. “Not exactly. I mean I didn’t even tell her that. Didn’t really get a chance to, and I'm not even sure if she knows this is just a visit. You’re the only one that even knew I was coming back, let alone that I’m leaving again in a week. I kinda wanted to surprise everyone, ya know?”

Shikamaru and Kakashi are cut from the same cloth with how perceptive they both are and Naruto hates it right now. He can tell Kakashi knows something just like Shikamaru did earlier. That they both can read between the lines of his words and expressions. The cause of his fight with Sakura is definitely not something he wants to discuss with his former teacher and Hokage, no matter how many of those pervy books Kakashi reads. It’s beyond embarrassing and Naruto once again feels like he wants to crawl into a hole and die. But he really does want to at least touch the surface of the issues, so he continues haltingly.

“Kakashi-sensei, I…me and Sasuke…you know we’re different, right? Like…like our bond is…weird. It’s always been like that. And Sakura knows it too. But…she was super mad about it. I really thought she was gonna punch me when she found out that-“ He cuts himself off when he realizes what he was about to reveal. The heat in his face is unbearable. He feels like he’s going to catch on fire at any moment. He almost wishes he would because that would be so much easier to deal with than this. Where’s that attack on the village when you need it, huh?

Kakashi tilts his head a bit and looks at him with that discerning gaze of his. “Did something happen between you and Sasuke?”

He buries his face into his hands and lets out a strangled noise. “Kakashi-sensei. This is so embarrassing!”

With a slow nod of understanding, the older man smiles a bit beneath his mask. “So something did happen. I suppose it’s not too surprising, you and Sasuke becoming closer and Sakura’s reaction to it.” When Naruto says nothing to either confirm or deny the obvious truth in that statement, Kakashi continues. “You know it’s nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. I know the two of you have always been close. I have to admit I didn’t know it was to this extent, but it’s understandable and not very surprising, if I’m being honest. Which I am.”

He figures he’s come this far and Kakashi seems to know already, so he might as well continue. Lowering his hands from his face, he stares down at the table and sighs. “Kakashi-sensei…I…I love him. More than anything or anyone. He’s…he’s like a part of me. One I could never cut out or I’d just die. Is that…strange? To feel this close to someone? I’m not…I’m not whole without Sasuke.”

A loud sigh rings into the silence, and Naruto squeezes his eyes shut with his hands tightly fisted in his lap. He’s not sure if he can handle how Kakashi will respond to such a thing. “It’s not strange, per se. Different, definitely. But there’s nothing wrong with it. I do have to admit, I’ve never seen a bond as…strong as the one you and Sasuke have. But you have both been through a lot in your short lives. Far more than you ever should have. And you’ve both found acceptance and, yes, love with each other. And that’s something beautiful in this often very ugly world we live in.”

“I wish Sakura would just understand that. She knows it, but she just doesn’t seem to get it.” He finally looks up to meet Kakashi’s gaze. “I didn’t try to hurt her. It just…happened. She may not ever talk to me again. She’s important to me and it just hurts so much that she can’t be happy for us.”

“Naruto…I think she just needs some time. It doesn’t excuse how she’s treating you right now, but I don’t think she’ll never talk to you again. It could take awhile, but you and Sakura have a very strong friendship and I’m sure things can be smoothed over eventually.”

Naruto feels like he’s about to cry, but he’s grateful to his teacher, his friend. Kakashi is also very dear to him. He's taught him many things and been there for him through some very tough moments. As embarrassing as this whole conversation is, Naruto finds himself glad he’s confided in the older man. It feels good to have someone understand and accept these things.

“Thanks, Kakashi-sensei. For everything.”

A hand lands on his shoulder and he realizes he’s shut his eyes. He looks up and finds Kakashi standing next to him. “I’m always here if you need me, Naruto. And I know there’s some things you most likely don’t want to talk about with me, but if you ever do, you know where I am.” He pats his shoulder before adding, “Go get some sleep now. I can let myself out. If you want, I'll treat you to some ramen tomorrow. Perhaps Iruka could join us.”

A small, but genuine smile forms on Naruto’s face as he slowly stands and wraps his arms around his teacher gratefully. When they pull apart, Naruto says, “I’d like that.”

As he’s walking out the door, Kakashi turns to him. “Goodnight, Naruto. Sleep well.”

“Night.”

Naruto leaves the village quietly and without notice before the sun even rises the next day. He needs to see Sasuke.

Chapter Text

The woods are calm and quiet as he walks back to the small abandoned town where he’s waiting for Naruto. The days since Naruto left have been very…difficult, and each night he’s woken up from awful nightmares. After spending months with Naruto by his side every day, him suddenly not being there makes Sasuke so miserable that he knows he scared a few of the people in the little village he’s returning from. He would have just spent the entire week in the dilapidated house he’s chosen to stay in for the week, but he needed to get certain…supplies. Very important supplies. For very important…situations. For moremoremore and closerclosercloser.

Sasuke isn’t quite sure who he is without Naruto anymore. Nothing good, that’s for damn sure. He’s lost, unhappy and just…incomplete. They’ve been separated for months at a time over the past three years and he always feels a little bit broken each time he leaves after only a week or two spent with his best friend. It’s practically torture, the times they are apart. But Konoha is Naruto’s home, and it will never be Sasuke’s. So he knows it’s only a matter of time before, once again, they walk down divergent roads.

And he’s scared. He’s never scared, but the thought of Naruto going back to visit, of seeing all of his friends, his home, and deciding he wants to stay there…it terrifies him. Because he knows he’s not whole without Naruto. Because he knows without that idiot next to him, life is practically meaningless. He almost regrets inviting him along at all. It’s been like a brief sample of what his entire life could be like if only he were able to stay in Konoha. But he can’t. He can barely stand to visit, let alone live there. He’s afraid that it will eventually kill him, this pain and longing he feels when they are apart. But that would be killing Naruto, and that is not an option under any circumstances. ‘Are we doomed to spend our lives apart? To survive through such agony?’

When Naruto left to return to Konoha, for a visit, and asked for a goodbye kiss, he almost didn't want to. He didn’t want to say goodbye. But Naruto was leaving, and depending on how things went during his visit, maybe forever. So he’d taken the opportunity to at least get one more taste. A few more moments of feeling like he’s home. He devoured Naruto with that kiss, and he’d almost said those words he hasn’t been able to find the right time for. ‘Is this the right time?’ he’d asked himself.

But he had decided that no, it wasn’t. It felt wrong to say something that important when Naruto was about to leave. He’s still not sure exactly when the right time will be, but he at least knows it will surely be soon. It has to be, because now that he knows he can say it aloud, can bring himself to utter such words to another person again, it’s almost as if those words are fighting to be free. ‘I love you, Naruto.’ And he does. He feels that love in the very depths of his soul. And sometimes that doesn’t even feel like enough. How could such a simple word be enough to describe everything that they are? Because it’s more with Naruto. Everything between them is both too much and not enough. Will anything ever be enough? Sasuke wants moremoremore with Naruto. He wants closerclosercloser. He wants blueblueblue. Sasuke wants. Sasuke needs.

His mind has been so preoccupied that it’s not until he’s an hour away when he finally realizes that he can feel Naruto’s chakra much closer than it should be. Konoha is miles past the town he’s approaching so he shouldn’t be able to sense it so clearly from this far away. It has a chaotic, desolate feel to it and Sasuke immediately knows that something is wrong. ‘What could have happened to make him leave Konoha so soon with such awful emotions running through that normally bright and sunny chakra?’

Sasuke promptly changes his usual leisurely pace and starts running. Something is terribly wrong and he needs to know what happened now. He tries to calm his own chakra, to shove aside the pain and anxiety caused by the despair he can sense in Naruto’s. Pushing as much tranquility into his chakra as he can, Sasuke ups his pace even more to get to Naruto as quickly as possible.

There’s about a mile left between him and Naruto now, and suddenly the tumultuous chakra he can sense calms considerably. It still has a slightly desolate feel to it, but not nearly as distressing. Activating his Rinnegan, he uses the Amenotejikara to speed up his arrival. He needs to know what happened.

The rock he switches places with to finally bring him within visual distance of the town is close enough that he’s only about thirty meters from the partially collapsed wall where they parted. Naruto is sitting against the wall with his knees bent, his head buried in them and his arms wrapped around his legs. Now that he’s this close, Sasuke can sense the stillness in Naruto’s chakra that tends to be there when he’s asleep. Spotting a small stone just a few feet from the curled up figure, Sasuke quickly uses it to shift the final distance.

When Naruto doesn’t acknowledge his presence, doesn’t move at all besides the slow motions of breathing, Sasuke drops to his knees and places his hand carefully on his head before smoothing the blond hair back. “Naruto?”

The sudden movement of his head snapping up to stare at him causes Sasuke to almost fall backwards before catching himself. There are dried tear tracks running down whiskered cheeks and his beautiful eyes look tired and dismal. He watches as that forlorn face crumbles and a few tears fall from glassy eyes.

“Sasuke…” Naruto mumbles in a shaky voice before throwing trembling arms tightly around his neck and collapsing against him.

Sasuke grips his nape and holds his best friend close, pressing his face into soft disheveled hair and whispering, “what’s wrong? What happened?”

A loud sob answers him. “Sasuke…it’s Sakura-chan…she…” The first thing that comes to mind before Naruto continues is that she has died or something equally tragic. “She…hates me. She was so…angry and…and mean. I didn’t think…I mean I knew she wouldn’t be happy but…I-I didn’t think she would be so…cruel.”

Sasuke is pissed. Almost more than he’s ever been and he feels his hand squeezing the back of Naruto’s neck before he catches himself and relaxes his fingers to rub them soothingly up and down. He once again wishes he still had his other arm to hold this trembling body closer. The arms around his neck prevent him from leaning back to see Naruto, so Sasuke presses a light kiss to his temple and lays his own against it before murmuring, “what can I do? How can I help you?”

There’s a light sniffle before a few more choked cries. “I just…it hurts. So much. Make it go away. Please.” When Naruto raises his head and meets his eyes, Sasuke’s heart cracks a bit.

He looks miserable and the only thing he can think of to make it go away is to hold Naruto’s jaw and pull him into a gentle kiss. It’s just a soft but firm press of their lips together, close mouthed and intended merely for comfort. There is none of the frenzied passion that is usually present when they do this, and when pink lips part under his own, he slowly deepens the kiss. There’s an attempt on Naruto’s part to intensify it, and where he would normally wholeheartedly embrace the change with zeal, he knows it’s not the time for that. His best friend needs consolation right now, not impassioned desire.

He breaks the kiss only far enough to whisper, “slow down, Naruto.”

He looks ready to protest, but takes a deep breath before nodding his head slowly. “Okay.”

With a small reassuring smile, Sasuke brings them back together and involves them in a deep, leisurely kiss.

Despite the composure he’s forcing into his body, his mind is a storm of emotions. Disappointment, disbelief, despair, pain, and so much rage that is becoming hard to contain. He already despises Konoha, thinks it’s a pit of lies and deception, but this? For one of Naruto’s closest friends to suddenly treat him like she apparently did, it makes him hate it even more. He almost wishes he didn’t let Naruto go back there, but he knows that wouldn’t have been fair. They are what they are to each other but that doesn’t mean Sasuke can demand things or keep Naruto from doing what he wants.

When Naruto shifts them and climbs onto his lap, he finds that while he himself isn’t aroused, his lover appears to be so. A muffled moan makes its way to his ears and he withdraws from Naruto’s lips with a small peck. Sad blueblueblue eyes stare at him as shaky hands cup his face, attempting to pull him back in as hips are impatiently rolled into his own. He stills them before bringing his hand back up to place over the one on his right cheek. “I don’t want to do that with you right now. It’s not a good time for it.”

Finally there’s an emotion other than despair on his face, and Naruto shoots him a mild glare and scoffs, “it’s the perfect time for it.”

Sasuke shakes his head and rests his hand on a sharp jaw, caressing the tearstained cheek with his thumb. “No, it’s not.”

“I need to be close to you. I need to feel anything but this…this pain.”

He gives one small peck to the unfortunately very tempting lips. “I’ll hold you close and make you feel something other than pain but…not like that. I can’t do that. As much as you think you need it right now, please listen when I say it’s not a good time. I don’t want what we do to be tainted by something like this.” Naruto is pouting now, but Sasuke smiles and runs his thumb along that plump bottom lip. “We can definitely do it later, but right now, just let me be here for you. Like you were there for me at the falls.”

Naruto closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before nodding. His eyes look more composed when he opens them, though they are still glassy with tears. “Okay. I guess you’re right. Just…can you kiss me still?”

“Sure.”

They stay there like that for a while, wrapped up in each other’s arms and kissing slowly and deeply. Sasuke can taste the salt of Naruto’s tears and every few minutes the kiss is broken as the blond pulls back to release heaving sobs. Eventually, Naruto buries his head into Sasuke’s neck and just completely breaks down. It’s loud and messy and painful to experience, but he holds his precious friend as close as possible so he can let it all out.

When the cries are nothing but sniffles and the tight hold around him loosens as Naruto’s body tiredly sags into his own, Sasuke wipes a stray tear from a whiskered cheek and asks, “do you want a few minutes alone?”

Panic bleeds into blue eyes and a blond head shakes back and forth quickly. “No! No…just…is there somewhere we can lay down? I’m exhausted.”

“Sure. Come with me.”

He lights a fire in a still functioning fireplace as Naruto lays down on the bedroll Sasuke has placed on a raised platform. Then he joins Naruto, lying on his back as his friend curls up into his side with his head and an arm on Sasuke’s chest. He gently runs his fingers through soft blond hair and closes his eyes with a silent sigh. He feels like he’s about to drift off to sleep when Naruto speaks in a quiet voice.

“She…she found out about us. Me and you, I mean. I know how she feels about you so I knew she’d definitely get upset but… You should have seen her, Sasuke. I’ve never seen her like that. And she said so many just…awful things.”

“As much as I would’ve liked to be there for you, it’s a good thing I wasn’t. I probably would have slit her throat. It’s bad enough to hear about how she treated you, but if I had seen it…it would not have been good, Naruto. And I hope I don’t run into her for a very long time because I’m not sure I would be able to stop myself from hurting her.”

“As much as she hates me right now, I’m hoping she’ll eventually get over it. Yes, she hurt me, but I still care about her and don’t want her to be hurt.”

Sasuke sighs and lightly scratches his fingers against Naruto’s scalp. He’s suddenly feeling very restless. “Then let’s make sure I don’t see her anytime in the near future.” He pauses a moment before venturing, “is that why you left so soon?”

There’s a slow nod against his chest and light, random patterns being traced along the skin. “Yeah. I didn’t even stay a whole day. I just…couldn’t be there after that. I talked to Kakashi-sensei about it before I left. It was so weird to talk to him about us, but it was nice to get to talk to someone about it. And I didn’t even need to tell him how things have changed between us, he just seemed to know exactly what I was thinking. You know how he is. Underneath the underneath and all that.”

“You talked to Kakashi about us? That must have been…”

“It was the most embarrassing conversation I’ve ever had in my life. I didn’t bring up any details about exactly how things have changed, but it’s mortifying that he probably already knows.”

Sasuke takes a minute to think of how that conversation would have gone if he had been there and knows he probably would have slit Kakashi’s throat too, if only to stifle his own embarrassment. “Wait a minute. You said you didn’t even spend a day there? How long have you been waiting here?”

Naruto sighs heavily and mumbles, “a little over a day I suppose. I wasn’t exactly keeping track. I wondered where you were, thought maybe you had, like, left or something, but some of our supplies were still here so figured you’d be back. At first I wanted to go try to find you, but I was exhausted. I just wanted to sleep, and I also didn’t want to get lost or something and miss you coming back here.”

“I’m sorry I was gone. I spent last night in a small town nearby. I was…”

Naruto lets out a quiet breath of air that tickles his skin. “Oh. You were getting…”

“Yes.”

A finger trails lightly down the middle of his chest almost teasingly. “Do you wanna…”

Shaking his head, Sasuke runs his hand down to the back of Naruto’s neck. “No, not right now. Let’s sleep. You look like you’re about to pass out at any moment.”

Letting out a loud sigh, Naruto wraps his arm around his waist and affirms, “yeah, you’re right. I am really tired. Maybe…tomorrow?”

A small smile curls Sasuke’s lips and he presses a light kiss to Naruto’s forehead and whispers into his hair. “We’ll see. Just get some sleep.”

Shifting himself a little closer, the blond tightens his hold a bit. “‘Kay…” He’s asleep almost as soon as the word leaves his lips.

When Sasuke wakes a few hours later, it is fairly dark and the fire has dwindled down to nothing but hot coals. The light from the full moon streaming in through the broken windows is the only thing illuminating the room, but it’s enough that Sasuke is able to see that Naruto is not there. Confused, he pushes himself up to stand, walks to the open doorway and stops. A few meters away from the house, Naruto is sitting with his arms folded on raised knees and staring up at the sky. Sasuke takes a seat next to him, but Naruto only acknowledges him by leaning against his shoulder. He doesn’t look like he has been crying, but his face is pensive as he continues to gaze upwards. Before Sasuke can open his mouth to ask how he’s feeling, Naruto speaks in a low voice.

“I remember laying in the middle of a field while on a mission just looking up at the full moon and thinking, ‘where is Sasuke right now? Is he okay? Will I catch up to him soon? Can I find him before it’s too late?’.
Every time there was a full moon after that, I’d stare at it for hours. It’s always made me feel a little bit closer to you.”

Sasuke wraps his arm around Naruto’s shoulder and says, “You were practically on top of me until you got up. Can’t get much closer than that.” A breath of air is knocked from his lungs when an elbow jabs him.

“I know that, Teme. I just…” Naruto sighs and reaches up to cover the hand on his shoulder. “I know. I guess I just wanted to see it.” He turns and gives Sasuke a small, crooked smile. “Besides, when I woke up I was ‘all over you’ and figured you'd be pissed when you got up. ‘Cause I’m too hot and all, ya know?”

“I would have let it slide. This time at least.” Turning to look up at the moon, Sasuke asks quietly, “how are you feeling?”

Naruto takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “A bit better. You’re right, I really needed that sleep.”

Rubbing a lock of soft hair between his thumb and index finger, Sasuke glances at his friend’s face before looking back up to the sky. “Do you…want to talk about it?”

“Yeah. That’d be nice.”

Naruto tells him about his arrival to the village and how he got to see a couple of his friends on his way to the Hokage Tower. He tells him how Kakashi wasn’t there, but he did get to speak with Shikamaru. He tells him about the gossip he heard and how unsurprising it was. He tells him about going to pick up Sakura and inviting Ino and Sai along to dinner with them. He tells him how ‘amazing it was to have Ichiraku ramen after soooo long’. He listens quietly to Naruto ramble and although it almost seems like he’s stalling, Sasuke allows him to keep going. His voice is soothing and for a couple of days, he really wasn’t sure if he’d get many more moments like this.

When Naruto suddenly stops talking, Sasuke finally turns from the sky to look at him curiously. His friend wraps his arms tightly around his legs and leans his head on his knees to meet Sasuke’s eyes. They spend a few moments just staring at each other in silence and Sasuke can see it in Naruto’s eyes; the pain that’s coming next. Lids close over blueblueblue and Sasuke lays his hand on Naruto’s back, running up and down slowly before coming to rest on his nape and rubbing his thumb across his soft skin. A few more minutes pass before Sasuke whispers, “you don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to.”

“I’m good. Just needed to clear my thoughts a bit.” His eyes stay closed as he continues. “Ino said I ‘looked different’ and asked if I’d… ‘gotten laid’. Her words, not mine. I was really shocked and didn’t know how to answer. I mean, it was just kinda really out of the blue and I was blindsided by such a question, ya know? Then Sai, that absolute dick, mentioned that maybe it was…with you.”

Blue eyes open and look up at him before falling shut again. “We were all thrown off by that. It seemed like such a random assumption, but I think everyone kinda knows how I feel about you. Well, I mean, not that I love you exactly, but that you’re my closest friend and all, ya know? But yeah, Ino flat out didn’t believe such a thing but Sakura… she just immediately knew it was the truth. Well, my face was on fire and I was just stuttering like an idiot and didn’t deny it or anything, but still. She knew. And she was pissed, Sasuke. She started saying really… vulgar things and Ino and Sai left after that. I wasn’t able to deny it anymore, but I didn’t want to tell her exactly everything we’ve been up to, so I just said that yeah, things have changed between us. That really set her off. I tried my best to explain that it wasn’t on purpose or to hurt her or anything. But she shut me down and demanded I let her leave. I told her I wasn’t sorry about me and you, but I really am sorry I hurt her. She just told me to shut up and stormed out.”

A hand suddenly swats his own off of Naruto’s neck and he realizes his grip had tightened unconsciously. “Ow, asshole. I can tell you’re pissed, but don’t take it out on me.”

“Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I just…” He’s just… seething. There’s rage flooding through his entire body. Rage like he hasn’t felt in a long time. It’s boiling his blood and if this were a cartoon, he’s certain there would be steam coming off of him. Closing his eyes and taking a few deep, calming breaths, Sasuke does his best to compose himself before he does something stupid. Like run to Konoha and burn the entire village to the ground.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. Now if you can promise not to squeeze me to death, put your hand back on me, Teme.”

Sasuke leans over and presses an apologetic peck against his nape before curling his hand around the spot. With a content sigh at the contact, Naruto continues.

“I didn’t want her to find out like that. Not in such an abrupt way and in public like that. I knew I’d have to tell her. I couldn’t exactly keep it a secret forever or anything. But… I wanted to tell her in my own time, ya know? I wanted to be able to explain things in a way that hopefully wouldn’t have caused it to hurt her so badly. I think that had something to do with how angry she got. Like it came out of nowhere. But I suppose it probably wouldn’t have mattered. We both know how she feels about you… or how she thinks she does at least. And she’s always felt left behind when it comes to the three of us. She told me that the morning we left when you found me and her outside.”

“Yes. I heard that part of the conversation. It’s not our fault she feels that way, though. And it’s also not our fault she can’t accept the relationship between you and I.” He sighs in frustration over the topic. “I’ve always known how she feels about me. She’s said as much on many occasions. Every time I returned for a visit, she’d always either hint or outright ask to come with me when I left. I always told her no because I didn’t want her with me. I didn’t really want anyone with me to be honest. I just wanted to be alone and it took a long while before I stopped feeling that way.”

A tan hand lands on his knee as Naruto grins up at him. “I’m really glad you did. I’m glad I get to be here with you. And I get what you’re saying, that it’s not our fault. I know it’s not, but it still makes me feel bad.”

“I know. You’re a good person like that. Sakura is a very close friend and you just want her to be happy for you like you would be for her. I do care about Sakura. Despite her completely unnecessary feelings towards me, she’s a good person and has done a lot for me. I am grateful to her, but I will never return her feelings. I really hope she can finally accept that and move on.”

Sighing for what feels like the hundredth time, Sasuke removes his hand from Naruto’s neck and places it atop the one on his knee. Threading their fingers together, he stares down at how their skin tones contrast. “I’m sorry you weren’t able to stay there longer. I know you were really looking forward to spending time with everyone.”

“Yeah, I was. I’m glad I was able to see a couple of them at least. I just… couldn’t stay there after that. I knew I would end up running into her again. And Ino is such a gossip that I just know everyone probably knows about it by now. I don’t think I’d be able to handle it if every time I spoke to someone they’d ask me about us. Not that I’m ashamed of it or anything, I just really don't feel like being constantly asked about that kind of thing. It’s not anyone’s business, ya know?”

“No, it’s not. At all. I must say I agree with you about not wanting to be asked about it. I’m pretty sure everyone will hate me even more than they already do now. I don’t particularly care one way or the other, but it will definitely make things awkward the next time I visit.”

When Naruto doesn’t respond as he usually does whenever Sasuke brings up people’s dislike of him, he sees that he’s fallen asleep. A whiskered cheek is pressed against raised knees and the hand on Sasuke’s knee would have probably fallen off if he wasn’t holding on to it. “Usuratonkachi. Falling asleep in the middle of a conversation like this.”

He lifts his hand to brush a strand of golden hair away from Naruto’s eyes, even if they are closed and he can’t see them. As he figured, the tan hand on his knee falls limply to the ground between them once released.

Knowing Naruto will wake up sore from sleeping in such a position, Sasuke considers moving him back to the house. When he realizes it would be pretty difficult to move the dead weight with only one arm, he gently moves him to lay down on the ground instead.

He stares down at his sleeping figure for a while. The slow, even breaths cause Naruto’s chest to rise and fall, and the moonlight is shining gently on his face. Feeling a bit sleepy himself, Sasuke lays down on his back beside Naruto and closes his eyes.

The sun is just rising when Sasuke next wakes. There’s a warm weight against his side, squishing his arm between Naruto’s body and the ground. Despite the slight numbness in his arm, he would be content to stay like this for a while, but he realizes nature has woken him and he really needs to pee. He cautiously slides Naruto to the side and stands to take care of his business. When he returns from around the side of the house, he finds Naruto sitting up and yawning as he scrubs the sleep from his eyes. As Sasuke approaches, the other man turns to him and smiles tiredly.

“Morning, Sasuke.” His face scrunches up as he looks around and realizes they’re outside. “I don’t remember falling asleep out here.”

Sasuke snorts in amusement and flicks him on the forehead. “Obviously. Are you hungry? I have some onigiri.”

Rubbing his forehead and scowling up at him, Naruto pushes himself to his feet. “You didn’t have to hit me in the head, you bastard.”

“I barely touched you, idiot.” He raises an eyebrow and asks, “well?”

Heaving an exaggerated sigh, Naruto stretches his arms over his head and cracks his back. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

Due to the early hour, the room is still pretty dim when they go back inside, so Sasuke retrieves a small lantern from their storage scroll and lights it before getting the onigiri. Although it’s a bit squashed from being in his pack, it’s still quite tasty and filling.

They’ve decided to stay here for a few more days, and spend most of the day hunting and making things a bit more ‘cozy’ after Naruto says they should unpack for their time here. After eating dinner, Naruto challenges him to a race to the lake a few miles away. Since it’s the closest body of water, they bring their bathing supplies and towels with them. Naruto wins, but Sasuke honestly wasn’t trying very hard.

Standing behind Naruto and washing his back, Sasuke, who is already half hard just from watching him undress and bathe, leans in and presses his lips against the side of his neck. Naruto startles a bit at the contact, but tilts his head to give him more room with a content sigh. He trails light kisses up and down the soft skin as he continues cleaning the smooth expanse of his tan, flawless back before reaching around to do the same for the front. His movements are languid and when he reaches just below his belly button, Naruto grabs his wrist and stops him before he can go any lower.

“Wait! I’m…”

Glancing over a tan shoulder without removing his lips, he looks down to see Naruto is hard. Rolling his eyes, he bites down lightly on the curve of his neck before soothing it with a lick. “So? It’s not like I haven’t touched you there before.”

“Well, yeah, I mean I don’t mind or anything. It was just like a warning or whatever. So you weren’t surprised, ya know?” Breaking the hold on his wrist, Sasuke resumes his original path and presses up against Naruto’s back. When his own, now fully hard cock comes in contact with Naruto’s ass, his lover tenses for a moment before relaxing back into him. “Oh.”

“Yeah. No warning necessary, Usuratonkachi.” At the same time his fist closes around Naruto’s erection, he bites down a little harder into the same curve and pushes his hips forward firmly.

Naruto bites down a moan and reaches a hand back to land wetly against Sasuke’s hip as he wraps the other around his forearm. It seems like he’s using the hold as a grounding force rather than any attempt to stop the motion as Sasuke slowly strokes up and down. The turgid flesh is warm and smooth in his hand, twitching minutely with interest. He enjoys touching Naruto like this, bringing him pleasure and drawing out all the delicious sounds like the ones his lover is releasing right now. Soft, panting breaths; quiet, barely stifled moans; hushed, desperate swears; pleading whispers of his name.

He continues firmly stroking him, occasionally swiping his thumb against the head or squeezing when he reaches the base. On one particularly unyielding stroke downwards, Naruto leans his head back into his shoulder and lets out a strangled groan. Sasuke eagerly takes the opportunity to attach his lips to the taut skin of his throat, sucking a bit before gently nipping at it. “Fuck, Sasuke. Keep going…touch me more.” The words are a desirous supplication, gasped out of a panting mouth and Sasuke agrees; moremoremore.

“Sure.” Though Naruto whines a bit at the loss when he releases his cock, Sasuke is undeterred as he slides his hand up the smooth skin of his torso. He stops at a hardened nipple, lightly brushing across it before lightly pinching the nub between his fingers. Moremoremore of those sweet, breathy pleas as the hand on his arm moves to twist into his hair and urge Sasuke further into that inviting neck and the fingers grasping his hip dig nails into the skin.

He pushes himself further against his lover’s back, pulling a groan from deep within his own chest as his rock hard cock slips between firm cheeks. The muscles tense briefly at the contact and Sasuke hisses a curse into Naruto’s ear as he bites the lobe harshly at the pleasure that almost blinds him. He wants moremoremore and closerclosercloser and belatedly realizes they didn’t bring the supplies with them. With great reluctance, Sasuke smooths his hand down his lover’s side and clutches his hip to halt any further motion. He rests his forehead into the curve of Naruto’s neck, forcing himself to get a grip on his self control and calm his racing heart. His voice is laced with frustration as he breathes, “we need to go back to the house. We don’t have anything here with us.”

Naruto’s body tenses at the revelation, and he gasps between heaving breaths, “Fuck. Yeah. Yeah, let’s go then.” They hurriedly retrieve their clothes, not even bothering to dry themselves before dressing and taking off at a run to make the maddeningly long trek back.

The adrenaline from both the exertion of their fast pace and the sexual tension that follows them the whole way, causes them to stop quite a few times just to stave off some of the hunger that needs to be sated. When they finally reach the house, they tumble over each other to the bed already shedding their damp clothes along the way. Sasuke descends on Naruto like a man starving, pressing him into the bedroll as his lover’s hands eagerly pull him closerclosercloser.

The sensation of their cocks sliding together has Sasuke balancing his weight awkwardly onto Naruto as he uses his only hand to grab under the blond’s knee and tug it over his own hip to make more room between those inviting thighs. They part willingly as his lover tightens his leg around the back of Sasuke’s and moans encouragingly in his ear. With the freedom of his hand, he wraps his arm under Naruto’s shoulder and fists golden hair to bring their lips together impatiently. Restless hands pull him closerclosercloser as their mouths move frantically and deeply, parting only for quick gasps of air.

When Sasuke thrusts his hips forward, it grazes his opening and they release simultaneous moans as Naruto’s nails dig into his skin. “Go get the stuff. Hurry.”

Nodding his head in firm agreement, Sasuke parts with a nip to the plump bottom lip, pulling with his teeth as he retreats reluctantly. Luckily, his bag is not far and he rushes to grab what they need so he can get back to his lover as soon as possible. The picture of Naruto laid out alluringly, spread out on the bed with half lidded blueblueblue eyes, a heaving chest and softly parted kiss bitten lips, almost has him cumming immediately. He bites his lip and breaths out, “fuck, you’re gorgeous like this.”

Whiskered cheeks flush at the praise, and those parted legs are a siren’s call that he is helpless to ignore. Placing the bottle of lube next to them as he sinks to his knees between the spread thighs, he grabs Naruto’s face and kisses him thoroughly. His own is bracketed by impatient hands and they momentarily lose themselves in the messy kiss. Sasuke curses his handicap in such a situation and implores, “I’m going to need your help, Naruto. Roll onto your knees and hold yourself open for me.” He hands the bottle to Naruto and holds his palm open. “This first.”

Naruto enthusiastically does as asked and then leans on one elbow as he reaches back with the other to pull a cheek to the side. Groaning at the sight of the revealed opening, he runs his fingertips reverently down the tan back, smearing some of the slippery lube along the way before brushing his thumb over the hole experimentally. The choked moan from his lover attracts his gaze and he meets the blueblueblue eyes that are looking back at him from over his shoulder. ‘How on earth am I supposed to last with him looking at me like that?’

“For once, I don’t mind that stupid look on your face, Usuratonkachi.”

“Quit talking and get a move on, Teme. Before I do it myself.”

His vision goes a little blurry at the picture such a remark paints in his mind. As much as he’d enjoy that scenario, he shoves the thought aside for another time and slowly pushes the tip of his middle finger into tight, grasping heat. Naruto clenches his teeth together and hisses quietly at the intrusion. “Just do it and stop teasing me, Sasuke.”

He complies as he cautiously presses his finger completely inside. His lover’s ass seems caught between pushing it out and pulling it in, and the urgent breathless pleas for moremoremore have him making quick work of thoroughly preparing Naruto for his cock. Once he’s sufficiently loosened, Sasuke removes his fingers and whispers, “are you ready?”

Pushing back impatiently, Naruto growls between clenched teeth, “I’ve been ready, dammit.”

Taking the demand for what it is, Sasuke nods and guides himself into the twitching entrance. As soon as he’s breached it, Naruto takes his hand away and braces himself on both elbows. Gripping his lover’s hip for leverage, Sasuke slowly sinks in further and can’t stop the loud groan at the pressure around his erection. Naruto’s head drops as he whimpers and his muscles tighten to an almost painful degree. Squeezing his eyes shut at the action that halts his movement, Sasuke massages the curve of his ass and mutters through his clenched jaw, “you have to relax.”

Through panting breaths, Naruto bites out, “I’m trying.”

Opening his eyes and taking in the tension in the body below him, Sasuke asks, “does it hurt?”

The blond head shakes back and forth between his arms. “No, it feels good. It’s just..a lot.”

“Yeah. It is. Can I keep going?”

A curt huff of a laugh answers him. “You fucking better.”

“Sure.”

When the unyielding grip around Sasuke’s cock loosens a bit, he pushes the rest of the way until he’s fully sheathed in the tight warmth of Naruto’s ass. He moans at the euphoric feeling of the passage spasming around him and hangs his head as he curls over his lover’s back. He takes a moment to breath before he slowly pulls back and thrusts forward steadily. When Naruto doesn’t complain besides a negligible grunt, he repeats the action a bit more confidently. This time, that blond head tilts back as Naruto releases a broken whimper through the teeth sinking into his bottom lip. Straightening up and rubbing his hand against the side of the lower back arching so beautifully in front of him, Sasuke proceeds with shallow, measured thrusts.

It’s Sasuke and Naruto. It’s acceptance and understanding. It’s rapture and bliss. It’s deliverance and salvation. It’s moremoremore and closerclosercloser. It’s too much and not enough. It’s everything and home. It’s ‘I love you’ and ‘I can’t live without you’.

And that’s when Sasuke realizes that this is the right time. When they are as connected and bonded as close as humanly possible and Naruto is urging him on with desperate pleas for deeper and harder.

“I love you.” The impassioned words are whispered against the skin between Naruto’s shoulder blades which tense under his lips at his words. Not relenting with his thrusts, he presses a worshipful kiss to the spot and breathes, “I love you so much, Naruto. More than anything.”

A breathy, fragmented whimper answers him. “Oh god, I love you too, Sasuke. You’re everything.”

Needing to hold him closer and unable to due to the missing limb, he wraps his arm around Naruto’s chest and encourages him wordlessly to sit up with him. They both moan as the blond’s weight pushes Sasuke deeper and Naruto fulfills his earlier appeal for harder by lifting himself up and falling back down harshly. Sasuke slides his hand all over his lover’s body, unable to overlook a single bit of that silky skin, and Naruto reaches back to thread his fingers through dark tresses to pull him in for a kiss. He tastes salt in his mouth and feels warm wetness against his cheeks, but he can’t tell which of them is crying.

Sasuke realizes they both are when he pulls back, forces his eyes open to imprint yet another picture of Naruto’s ecstasy and feels a tear slip from the right. He finally sees blueblueblue and they’re leaking as well, tears trickling unheeded down flushed, whiskered cheeks. Every precious memory of his lover’s rapture flips through his mind like a picture book before superimposing until all he can see is home.

He brings his hand down to Naruto’s neglected, weeping erection and wraps his hand tightly around it before matching the frenetic pace of their hips. Sasuke thrusts upwards harshly, and when Naruto meets it, his eyes open wide as he lets out a startled shout and clenches unforgivingly around his cock, holding him deep inside. He does his very best to keep up the faltering strokes of his hand as his orgasm hits him abruptly and so powerfully that all he can do is bite into Naruto’s shoulder and pray for mercy. For surely it’s not possible to survive such intoxicating sensations; physical, emotional, spiritual. They could both die in this moment and Sasuke wouldn’t be able to regret a single thing he’s ever done if it’s what brought him to this point in time, where he’s closerclosercloser to Naruto then he has ever been before, that he could ever possibly be. Because Naruto’s pleasure is his pleasure. He can feel it in his blood and right down to his bones. It’s fire and lightning.

His cock is caught in a vice-like grip, preventing him from doing anything more than just rolling his hips up erratically. Barely breathing, barely cognizant, heart pounding in his chest, Sasuke continues to stroke Naruto to completion. Warm, sticky cum coats his hand as his lover lets out a long uninhibited moan of his name and grabs his forearm with an iron grip.

As they sit there panting, desperately trying to fill their lungs with air, Naruto sags against him. Sasuke wraps his arm to curl his fingers around a trim waist, heedless of the mess coating his hand. Naruto doesn’t seem to mind, simply lacing his shaky fingers to tighten the hold.

Pressing a firm, apologetic kiss to the indentations left by his teeth, he can taste the metallic tang of the lone drop of blood oozing from broken skin. Although the sight of his mark left on such flawless skin soothes some primordial instinct buried deep inside of him, Sasuke still feels bad about the almost feral way he’d sunk his teeth in. He kisses it again and whispers, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so rough.”

Still buried deep within his ass, when a sudden laugh shakes Naruto’s body, Sasuke smothers a small groan against quaking shoulders at the oversensitivity. “I’m really not complaining.” He pauses a moment before mumbling, “it…felt really good. The flash of pain combined with the pleasure. It’s such a confusing sensation and not something I’d have expected but, yeah, no complaints here.”

“Noted.” When he urges Naruto to lift up off his softening cock, some of his cum dribbles out and lands on his thigh. “Oh. I didn't mean to do that either…”

Naruto must feel it leaking from himself because he blushes as he collapses onto the bed tiredly. “Yeah, um. That’s fine too.”

The urge to smear it into the skin, paint his ass and thighs and back with his cum rushes through Sasuke as he lays down onto his side next to Naruto. ‘Perhaps another time…’ Instead, he simply smirks and meets blueblueblue eyes as he places his fingers under his lover’s jaw and runs his thumb along the red parted lips. “Yeah?”

Nipping at his thumb, Naruto gives him a weak scowl and mutters, “just shut up and kiss me, Teme.”

“Sure, Usuratonkachi.”

Chapter Text

It’s raining so they’re stuck inside and Naruto has been fidgety all day. Sasuke figures it’s because of his usual hyperactive need to be constantly in motion being stifled by the limited space of the dilapidated house, so he mostly ignores it. But after the fifth time in twenty minutes that Naruto begins pacing the room, Sasuke looks up from his journal and frowns at him. “Would you stop that? The house is in bad enough condition without you carving ruts into the floor with all that pacing back and forth.”

Coming to an abrupt stop, Naruto turns to him with a scowl and crosses his arms. “Mind your own business, asshole. Just keep scribbling in your damned diary.” With a scoff, he looks back down to resume his writing without comment. “What are you writing anyways? You’ve been buried in that thing all day.” Sasuke ignores him and continues to ‘scribble in his damned diary’.

When it becomes apparent that he’s not going to answer, Sasuke hears Naruto stomp over to the table he’s seated at and then two hands slap down onto the top across from him. “Are you just going to ignore me all day?”

“Perhaps.”

“You’re an asshole, you know that?”

“So you’ve said a thousand times.”

“I’ll say it a thousand more times, too, because it’s the truth.”

Heaving a sigh, he lifts his head up to see Naruto slump over the table and prop his chin up on his hands. “Are you that bored? Read some of those books you brought with you.”

“Ugh. They’re all about history and politics. I’m already bored, that’ll just put me to sleep.”

Sasuke raises an eyebrow and turns the page as he looks back down to continue writing. “So sleep.”

“I don’t wanna sleep.” The words are muffled and he glances over to find Naruto with his head buried in his arms. The table starts to shake a bit when his leg starts bouncing up and down rapidly, so Sasuke closes his book and stands.

“Come on. Let’s go for a run.”

Blue eyes peek up at him, but his head stays in his arms. “It’s raining.”

Walking to the hook they’ve hung their cloaks on, he grabs Naruto’s and tosses it on top of him. “So? We can start a fire when we get back. Now come on. You obviously have an obnoxious amount of energy to burn off.”

When he pulls the cloak off his head, Naruto is scowling, but he stands and puts it on. “Fine. But you’re buying me ramen next time we stop by a town that’s not deserted.”

“I always buy you ramen.”

“Then buy me extra ramen, bastard.”

“Sure.” Without waiting to make sure the idiot is following him, Sasuke walks out the door and takes off running down the road. Naruto catches up quickly, so he puts a bit of chakra into his legs and speeds up.

Their cloaks are understandably soaking wet when they return, but they’ve done their job of keeping the clothes beneath fairly dry. After hanging them back on the hooks, Sasuke lights the fireplace and they sit in front of it to warm up a bit. The run didn’t start out as a race, but Naruto’s inevitable provocations turned it into one, and Sasuke lost. And, of course, the idiot gloats about it between bites of cooked venison and rice the entire time they’re eating. The taunts go in one ear and out the other, however, as Sasuke finds himself itching for his journal again. Obviously getting bored of his nonresponses, Naruto flops himself down across Sasuke’s lap and stares up at him with a furrow between his brows.

“What’s with you today? You’ve done nothing but write all day, barely saying a word to me. And now you won’t even insult me back when I call you a lazy bastard who can’t keep up. And that too! I know you weren’t even trying to win!”

Absently running his fingers through soft, blond locks, Sasuke stares into the fire. “Are you complaining about winning, moron?”

Naruto scrunches up his face in indignation. “No. I’m complaining about your gloomy attitude, asshole. It’s already such a dreary day with all this rain, I don’t need you making it worse.” Restless, tan fingers are fiddling with a loose thread in Sasuke’s shirt and Naruto’s voice is low and anxious when he continues. “Are you getting bored of me?”

Even being so lost in thought doesn’t keep Sasuke from hearing such absurdity. He frowns down at such a stupid question from such an obviously stupid moron. His hand stills and he flicks Naruto in the forehead. “What on earth gave you such stupid idea?”

Naruto swats his hand away in irritation and scowls at him. “It was an honest question, bastard. Didn’t have to hit me! What am I supposed to think when you ignore me all day?”

Sasuke’s face softens as he looks into blueblueblue and sees the worry in them. Pushing the bangs back to better see those eyes, he sighs and resumes carding his fingers through Naruto’s hair. “You don’t ever have to worry about such a thing. While your excitable behavior and non stop talking can irritate the fuck out of me sometimes, I will never be tired of having you around, Usuratonkachi.”

Squinting his eyes with a mild frown, Naruto looks at him skeptically. “Never? You sure about that?”

“Positive. Until you get bored of me, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me and my ‘gloomy attitude’.” There’s the barest hint of a fond smile on Sasuke’s face as he puts as much sincerity into his voice as possible.

A happy smile curves Naruto’s lips as he pulls Sasuke’s hand down to lace their fingers together and rest them against his chest. “I’m never gonna get bored of being with you either, Sasuke. Even when you’re ignoring me or being an insufferable, prickly bastard.” He sighs heavily and tightens his hold a bit. “I was just worried I guess. You normally don’t spend so much time with your diary.” Sasuke frowns in displeasure when he calls it a diary yet again, but Naruto is undeterred. “You weren’t even writing the whole time. You just sat there staring at it with this blank look on your face. Like you weren’t even really here, ya know?”

Suddenly unable to meet that penetrating gaze, he looks back into the fire. “I was reading it.”

“Why’d you look so…vacant then? Was it some boring mission report type stuff? Something you have to send to Kakashi-sensei?”

Sasuke doesn’t ever tell Naruto about anything in his journal even when the idiot asks repeatedly or tries to sneak peeks at it. It’s been a sacred book of everything he’s learned about himself and the world around him, and despite trusting Naruto with his life and more, he can never quite bring himself to divulge any of the contents. They’ve talked about a lot of important things over these last few years, but there’s still a lot that he’s never been able to bring himself to talk aloud about. And he certainly would never write it into any of the letters they’ve exchanged.

Every dark thought that he’s been able to overcome; all the ones he hasn’t; every step forward he’s made with the second chance he was given; every step backwards when the lingering despair becomes too much; memories of his family, his clan, his childhood; memories of his time with Team 7, short as it was; hopes and dreams for his future and the reservations he holds towards them; nightmares brought on by the awful, awful things he did and experienced in his quest for vengeance; dreams of sitting with his mother in the kitchen, drinking tea and talking about Naruto.

He can feel an uncomfortable pit of anxiety in his stomach forming at even the thought of exposing some of the more devastating and horrific passages. But this is Naruto, his best friend, his lover, his other half. Someone who would never even think of judging him for anything, and who loves him wholeheartedly. Someone he loves more than could possibly be expressed. Although he still isn’t quite ready to reveal everything in his journal, he feels like the last passage is something he can share with Naruto.

“Sasuke..?” The hesitant voice causes him to look down at Naruto, and he sees the curiosity laced into quiet concern at his failure to respond. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” At his friend’s disbelieving stare, he adds, “I was just lost in thought for a moment.”

Naruto tugs on his hand lightly and implores, “you know you can talk to me, right? About anything. You don’t have to, obviously, but I’m here if you do want to, ya know?”

The acceptance and understanding that is ever present in those blueblueblue eyes spurs him to nod his head as a small, grateful smile forms on his lips. “I know.” He rubs his thumb gently over tan knuckles and looks back at the fire. “It was a dream I had last night.”

“You write down your dreams? Why?” The honest curiosity in his tone tells Sasuke that his friend doesn’t mean any offense.

“So I can remember them. It’s nice to have my dreams written down so I can never forget them. I write about my nightmares, too.”

There’s a quiet gasp and Naruto’s fingers tighten slightly around his own. “I get what you mean about not wanting to forget, but you want to remember all of your nightmares, too?”

“Most of my nightmares are memories that have already been burned into my brain, and I don’t reread them often. They’ll never go away and it helps me to process them better when I write them out.”

“Oh. Well that’s good, I suppose. I’m glad you found a way to do that. I know there’s a lot you don’t talk about. A lot you probably don’t want to talk about. So even if you’re not able to, it’s good to know you are working through it and not bottling it all up, ya know?”

“I’m trying to, at least.” Still staring deep into the flames, watching them dance as they devour the wood, he ventures hesitantly, “would you…like to read it? The dream, I mean. It’s a pleasant one.”

He can feel the weight of Naruto’s shocked stare, but doesn’t move to meet his gaze. “Really? You never let me read any of it. Are you sure?”

Looking down at this moron he’s in love with, he releases his hand and flicks him in the forehead again. “I wouldn’t have offered it if I wasn’t sure, Usuratonkachi. Do you want to read it?”

Naruto immediately sits up and clasps his hands together with an excited grin on his face. “Yes! Definitely!”

Snorting in amusement at his enthusiasm, Sasuke rises and retrieves the book before returning to Naruto. He pages through to find the beginning of the passage and hands it over to the blond. Despite the obvious eagerness written into his face, Naruto takes it from his hand in a gentle, almost reverential manner. Like it’s something precious to be handled with the utmost care. He holds the open pages to his chest and looks up at Sasuke with wonder in his wide eyes. “Thank you, Sasuke.”

“Sure.” He walks over to grab their almost empty canteens before taking his cloak from the hook and wrapping it around himself. “I’m going to go fill these. You can read to the end of what’s written in that book. Just… don’t read anything else. Please.”

“Of course. I promise.”

He gives a sharp nod and turns to the doorway, “I’ll be back shortly.” He walks outside holding the canteens and tries to calm his heart down. It’s a bit nerve wracking to know Naruto is alone with his journal, even though he knows he’d never read any more than what’s been allowed. Plus, he promised, and Naruto never goes back on those. Still, as soon as he offered, he realized he couldn’t be there while it was being read. Most of it is about Naruto and some parts are a bit…risqué. Despite how many times they’ve been intimate, Sasuke doesn’t think he could stand to be there when Naruto reads about those particular things. There’s a line to how uncomfortable he’ll allow himself to be, and having to watch as his lover reads his innermost thoughts about their intimacy, whether it’s a dream or not, is that line. He knows he’ll have to deal with it once he returns, but it won’t be as bad as witnessing Naruto’s reactions in real time. Probably.

————————————

Naruto is stunned that Sasuke is finally allowing him to read his precious diary. After months of asking about what’s in it, of trying to spy over his shoulder, he’s finally being given a chance to see what Sasuke writes about. Even if it’s just one small portion, he is thrilled at such an opportunity. And even though his curiosity over the rest of the contents is gnawing at him, he would never betray the trust Sasuke is giving him, whether he promised or not. He glances around the room to make sure the bastard hasn’t come back to rescind the offering. Once seeing he is indeed still alone, he takes a deep breath and gently lowers the book to his lap.

———

Niisan has just returned from a long term ANBU mission and I’m glad to finally spend some time with him after a month apart. We are sitting on the engawa overlooking the backyard and the gentle clacks from the sozu are the only sounds in the otherwise quiet atmosphere. Despite not seeing each other for such an extended period, we sit in companionable silence just sipping on the lemonade Kaasan has brought out to us. There’s been a question whirling around in my brain for the past couple of weeks, and I’m curious to know if Niisan will have any answers with some of that genius wisdom of his.

I’m rarely ever nervous, but the times when I am tend to involve Naruto, and this is no exception. Niisan and I talk about almost everything, but I’ve kept a lot of things about my relationship with that moron to myself because I just know he wouldn’t let me live some of it down. He teases me enough about being in love with my best friend, I don’t need him knowing how…sappy I’ve become.

(Ugh. If only my dreams were the only times I felt like such an infatuated fool. The things I feel for that idiot of mine, the emotions he’s able to bring out of me, the thoughts and dreams he induces… It's overwhelming and all consuming; Naruto has taken up so much space in my mind and, yes, my goddamn heart. Where once it was such a dark, frozen part of me, it’s been thawed and illuminated by his warmth and light. He is the sun, casting its rays down upon the earth and giving life to all on it. And I feel blessed that he’s chosen to spend his days with me, letting me bask in the comfort of such brilliance, for however long or short the time may be. It’s going to hurt when Naruto decides it’s time for him to go back to his home.)

I decide that the risk of a bit of teasing is worth it if I can finally get some insight from someone as smart as my brother.

“Niisan.”

He turns to look at me and raises an elegant brow. “Yes, Otoutou?”

I know I won’t be able to get my question out if I have to look into his perceptive eyes, so I turn my gaze to a wisteria tree in the corner of the garden. Doing my best to not look as outwardly nervous as I am inside, I quietly ask, “what’s a home?”

“Why do you ask?”

Sighing in frustration, I frown and can’t stop myself from scratching my nails against the edge of the engawa. “I just…what is it?”

“Hmm. I suppose it’s where you feel most comfortable and safe. Where you feel understood and accepted by loved ones. Isn’t your home here with us in this house?”

Glancing at him from the corner of my eye, I can see the curiosity in those dark, all seeing eyes. “Of course it is, Niisan.”

He tilts his head and there’s a small, fond smile on his face. “Do you perhaps have another place that’s home?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I set my gaze back on the damned wisteria. “Kind of.” Even though I really do want to know his insight on this burning question in my mind, for some reason I’m still feeling hesitant to bring up the real issue. He asks so many damned questions and doesn’t give me enough answers.

“I see. Are you in the process of moving out or something?”

“No. Not right now at least.”

“But you will be soon I’m assuming?”

I glance over at him and shrug, answering in little more than a mumble. “Well, yeah, probably.”

“With Naruto-kun?”

I sigh loudly at the thought of living with that messy moron. I may love him more than anything, but judging by the chaos that is his bedroom, I just know sharing a living space of any kind with him is going to cause problems. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to do it though.

(And of course, even in my dreams Naruto can’t clean up after himself. Usuratonkachi.)

“Yes. With my idiot best friend.”

An amused smile tilts Niisan’s lips. “He’s more than just your best friend, Otoutou. You can’t call him your boyfriend?” He lives to embarrass me, I just know it.

Scowling and letting out an irritated sigh I answer, “yes. He’s my boyfriend. Are you satisfied?”

“Immeasurably.”

“Quit being an asshole about this. I just wanted to ask a question.”

“Then perhaps you should just quit being stubborn and ask what you’d like to ask.”

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Would it be weird to call a person a home?”

His face turns to quiet contemplation, and I finally feel like he’s taking this seriously. “I don’t suppose so. If a person makes you feel at home, then sure, you could make them your home.”

I bite my lip in consideration and meet his eyes. “I think Naruto is my home. Not like, with him in a house or anything, but…”

“His heart. Your home is Naruto-kun’s heart. And I’m sure his home is yours as well.”

My face scrunches up and my nails scratch a bit more at the wood. “Not exactly…”

For the first time in my life, I get to witness Niisan look confused. It’s fantastic, though I kind of wish the circumstances were a bit different.

(It’s weird that I can picture so vividly what he would look like if he were confused, even though I’d never seen such a sight while he was alive.)

“What do you mean, Otoutou?”

I straighten my posture a bit and look him in the eyes as seriously as I can. I’m an adult now and this is my Niisan. Hopefully we can talk about these things more openly if I let him know I dislike the teasing so much. “Please don’t use this conversation as fuel for your jokes, Niisan. This topic is…important and precious to me. And there’s really not anyone else I’d feel comfortable talking about it with. And I need to.”

He nods his head in understanding and motions me to continue.

“Thank you.” Despite my desire to talk about this, it’s still difficult to find the right words, so I close my eyes and take a moment to piece them together as comprehensively and concisely as possible. Without opening my eyes, I continue. “It’s not his heart exactly. I mean, I know I have that just as he has mine, but it’s more like…I don’t feel complete without him.” My lips tilt down into a thoughtful frown and I open my eyes, but keep my gaze lowered. “It’s everything, Niisan. It’s his heart, his mind, his soul…” My shoulders hunch up a bit in embarrassment and I mumble, “his…body.” I clear my throat uncomfortably and can feel the warmth in my cheeks. “All of it. Every part of him is my home. I love this home with you guys. I treasure it and will always consider it the home I grew up in. But…if what you say is true, that a home is where you feel most comfortable and safe and understood and accepted…that, to me, is Naruto. I feel most ‘at home’ when I’m with Naruto. And when he’s not beside me, I always feel a little bit…lost.”

Niisan takes a deep breath and places his hand on my shoulder. “Otoutou. Look at me.”

Hesitantly, I raise my head to meet his eyes. His gaze holds so much; warmth, love, understanding, hope, happiness, pride. I can read it all in his comforting eyes. There’s a tender smile curving his mouth and he looks so content and almost impressed that it makes me glad I decided to open up to him about this.

“I’m glad to hear that. Not that you feel lost, but that you at least know that you’ll always be found again. You’ll always be home when he’s with you. And I don’t think you could get rid of him if you tried. Naruto-kun would chase you to the ends of the earth if you ever left him behind.”

(And isn’t that the truth? As carefree an observation it is in the dream, having my mistakes pointed out to me by my dead niisan while I’m sleeping kind of sucks, to be honest. It’s one of my greatest regrets, leaving Naruto to die in the Final Valley, walking away into the darkness that was eating its way through my soul. But no matter how many times or how hard I tried, he never gave up on me; never gave up on saving me from both myself and the evil lurking in the shadows; never gave up on calling me his friend, despite everyone else marking me for dead; never gave up on shining his golden brilliance upon me to cast away the dark shadows encasing my heart; never gave up on trying to bring me home, to the place I belong. And he has succeeded on all accounts, though he got one part horribly wrong. He didn’t know at the time that the home he was trying so hard to bring me back to would never feel like home to me again. I know I broke his heart a bit when I told him I will never live there again, but I know he understands my reasons. He always does. And while Konoha will never be my home, he still accomplished his goal. He brought me home. And I will forever be grateful to him. More than any words could ever express.)

I release an exaggerated sigh as a small, amused smile curls my lips. “Don’t I know it. I’d have to kill him to stop him. But I could never do that. I’d be killing a part of myself and I’d never survive without him in this world.” I shrug my shoulders as my smile turns into a fond, slightly lovesick one. (Ugh.)
“And I love him too much to ever do such a thing. I could never cause him such harm.”

(Another one of my greatest regrets; using all of the godly powers bestowed upon me to sever that final, most important bond I had left. To live in darkness for eternity and snuff out the most magnificent light this rotten world has ever known. And though I failed at that attempt, it wasn’t without great cost. I destroyed a part of Naruto forever, and though he’s had his arm replaced, it’s still visible proof that I harmed him in a way the dream-me claimed he could never do. I’m just glad I’ve finally accepted what a grave error that was on my part, to try to deny this sacred, powerful bond we share. And that I now share dream-me’s sentiment. I could Never cause harm like that to Naruto ever again. I love him too much to do so.)

A gentle laugh falls from Niisan’s lips. “Yes, I know, Otoutou. And I believe everyone knows how true that is.”

My mouth has just opened to respond, when I hear my name being shouted through the house. “Sasukeeeeee!” As he comes out the door onto the engawa, my idiot of course trips over his own feet and falls into my back. Before I can shove him off of me, his arms wrap tightly around my neck and he leans his head over my shoulder to look at me. His grin is brilliant and the blueblueblue of his joyful eyes almost blinds me. He’s about to kiss my cheek in his usual greeting when I realize that Niisan is sitting right next to me. No way in hell am I letting him see such a sight. I elbow the moron in the gut and watch as he releases his hold to wrap his arms across his stomach as he wheezes out, “what the fuck, bastard?”

Holding his scowling gaze, I flick my eyes to Niisan and back, silently telling him to not do such a thing in front of my brother of all people. Naruto knows how much Niisan teases me and I’d prefer not giving him such ammunition. He frowns unhappily and mutters, “whatever. So are we going now or what?”

“Sure.” I turn to Niisan and ask, “Naruto and I are going for ramen. Would you like to join us?”

I should have expected it, but just as every time he does it, I still startle at the poke to my forehead. I scowl at him for doing such a thing when I’m an adult and not some small child. “Maybe next time.”

(Just like the one with my mother, this dream ends with a snapshot before fading into another dream. Uchiha Itachi, my beloved Niisan, frozen in time with that fond smile on his face and laughter in his eyes.)

———

‘Wow…Sasuke really feels all of that…for me. I know he’s said as much when we’ve talked about it, but to read it in his diary where he writes all his most private feelings and thoughts is…’

Naruto isn’t surprised there are a few tears falling down his cheeks. That dream was beautiful on its own, but to also read Sasuke’s commentary, his thoughts on the content of that dream makes him so happy he could cry. Which he is, but that’s besides the point. He swipes his hand across his cheeks and is about to close the precious book with such precious words, when he realizes the dream doesn’t really end. Or it does, but there’s more writing. ‘Wait..it fades into another dream? He didn’t mention another one, but he did say I could read to the end…’

Smiling to himself a bit giddily at getting to read more of Sasuke’s writing, he runs his fingers along the page and eagerly keeps reading.

———

“Cmon, Teme! We have to make it ours!” Naruto runs to our bedroom, tugging me along behind him and immediately begins tearing his clothes off. “Hurry up! We have to christen our new home before we do anything else.”

Though I frown at such terminology, I offer absolutely no complaints to the request. Well, it’s more of a demand. I watch as he tosses his underwear aside with a cheeky smile before plopping down on the bed and proudly displaying his body for my viewing pleasure.

Naruto is beautiful laying on our bed like this. Yes, our bed, in our home. Freshly moved in and yes, waiting to be ‘christened’, I suppose. As I pull my shirt off with considerably more grace and in a far less hasty manner, I rove my gaze unashamedly across the vision spread out before me. Golden, sunshine hair resting against the pillow; blueblueblue eyes alluringly staring back at me through lowered lashes; whiskered cheeks slightly flushed; the lithe lines of his tan body, from his head all the way down to his fingers and toes; knees bent and supple thighs parted invitingly; a nimble hand skimming down his own chest and stomach before wrapping it around the erection standing proudly, giving it a few lazy strokes. All of the bright colors of his blond hair, blueblueblue eyes and tan body, stand out starkly against the gray sheets. He’s gorgeous and he’s mine.

I’m snapped out of my ogling when Naruto’s seductive smile turns into an impatient scowl. “C'mon already. Stop staring and get your clothes off, bastard. I’m waiting to be ravished in our bed.”

My lips quirk up at the corner as I unzip my pants. “Ravished? You’re really going to call it that?”

“Well, duh. How else do you describe the way you fuck me?”

Shoving my pants down and stepping out of them, I shrug and say, “that I fuck you?”

An annoyed frown curves his lips downwards. “I’m trying to make it sound a bit more romantic when we’re having sex for the first time in our new home, asshole.”

My lips curl up in distaste at such a word. “Romantic? Do you even know me?” I step out of my underwear and take slow steps towards the bed, running a hand lazily up and down my own erection. Kneeling onto the bed between his legs, I place my hands on his knees and spread them a bit wider. I lean forward over Naruto and hold myself above him with my hands resting on either side of his head. “Do I seem like the type to appreciate romantic phrases?”

He scowls up at me, but still wraps his arms around my neck and runs his fingers through the back of my hair. “No. You’re a cold hearted bastard without a single romantic bone in your body. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop trying to coax it out of you.”

Leaning down onto my elbow, I raise the other hand and place my fingers under his jaw to slide my thumb across his bottom lip slowly. “You can certainly try.”

His arms tighten around my neck as he tugs me closerclosercloser. I heed his impatience and allow him to pull me down, but I keep my hips from making contact with his. “Stop talking and fuck me then, Teme.”

With a smirk, I breathe against his lips, “sure.” And then I lower the rest of my body and groan as my cock comes in contact with his. Naruto bites his lip to try to smother a moan unsuccessfully and I use my thumb to pull his lip from between his teeth. “Stop biting them. That’s my job.” I punctuate the reprimand with a sharp bite before swiping my tongue over the spot and plunging it into his open mouth. The kiss is eager and deep, both of us keyed up already and a bit impatient for moremoremore. Hips rolling leisurely, I can feel the slight twitches of his cock against my own as the sensitive skin glides together, aided by the precome leaking from both of us. We smother our moans into each other’s mouths before I break the kiss with a quick nip to his lips.

I cradle his jaw in a loose hold and use it to tilt that blond head back, diving down to taste his skin as soon as his throat is exposed. Knowing he’ll keep his head in place, I lower my hand from his face and run it down the smooth skin that covers the side of his torso. His back arches into my touch and the fingers in my hair pull me in further towards his neck in invitation as he tips his head to the side. It’s like I’m starving for him, the way I can never seem to get enough, no matter how many times we’re together like this.

I run messy, open mouthed kisses up and down along the expanse of his throat, pausing here and there to nip or suck at the skin. His muscles tense and relax as I run my hand down to his thigh, pulling it up over my hip as I thrust them forward into his. His head tilts back even more as he does his best to contain his moan. Smothering my own against his shoulder, I glance at him and see those perfect teeth once again abusing his lips.

Giving a harsh bite to the curve where shoulder meets neck, I mumble between more kisses, “stop that. We’re not in one of our parents’ houses anymore. This is our own home and you can make as much noise as you want. As much as I want.” Wrapping my lips around his earlobe, I suck for a moment before whispering into it, “I want to hear every sound you make. Every moan, every groan, every gasp of breath you can’t catch. All of it.”

A shaky moan sounds out as I finish talking with a thrust of my hips forward, and his arms tighten around my neck. “Fuck, Sasuke. I can’t. It’s embarrassing!”

Digging my fingers into the flesh of his thigh, I continue to move against him, using the hold to pull him into my movements. I thread my fingers into the back of his hair and yank it further back as I run my teeth along the spot beneath his ear. “Who cares? I love the sounds you make and no one else is around to hear them. So…let me hear how much you love it when I ravish you, Naruto.”

The hands in my hair use their tight hold to pull me back to meet his mouth. We lose ourselves in the contact for a bit before Naruto mumbles, “thought you didn’t like that word?”

He moans when I once again bite at his lip and bring my hand up to his jaw and stare deep into that blueblueblue. “I didn’t say that. It is what I do to you, isn’t it? I ravish you, I devour you, I consume you, I lose myself in you.”

The other leg wraps around me and he tightens them both, digging his heels into the backs of my thighs and pulling me closerclosercloser. His chest is heaving as he tries to take in the air to say, “fucking get on with it then.”

After one last plunge into his mouth, I trail licks and nips and kisses along his throat, down over his chest before stopping at a hardened nipple. A warbling moan slips out of his mouth when I take it between my lips and suck. I smirk around the flesh before scraping my teeth lightly over the nub and soothing it with a small lick, pinching the other nipple at the same time. I take my time at his chest, laving my tongue across his skin, to pull out more of those sweet, sweet moans.

I sit back on my heels and run both my hands down his sides to land on his hips. “Did we unpack the lube yet?”

His head nods up and down quickly. “Yeah. I put it in the bedside drawer.”

“Go get it.”

Scowling up at me, he kicks me lightly in the side and says, “you go get it.”

“You’re closer. Just reach over and get it.”

With an over exaggerated sigh, he twists to the side and reaches for the drawer. As he’s fumbling around to find the lube without being able to see inside, I run my hand down his side to the curve of his ass and give it a light smack. “Get a move on, Usuratonkachi.”

He swats my hand away and finally pulls the bottle out before rolling back and tossing it at my chest. “There, bastard. Now get to work.”

I catch it before it can fall and open it blindly before coating the fingers of my left hand.

(And isn’t this amazing? I have my left arm in my dreams and both hands to worship Naruto’s body with. I have never regretted the loss of my arm until that night in Uzushio, when Naruto was falling apart and I didn’t have my left arm to comfort him with. I wanted to hold him with both arms, to cradle him close and keep him safe and secure. And every time we’ve been intimate since then, that want, that need to pull him closerclosercloser, to be able to prop myself up over him and still be able to touch him, has grown and grown. It’s frustrating and the only times I ever mourn the loss. Sometimes the thought will pop into my head to perhaps try to get it replaced as Naruto has, but I’m not certain it would be possible anymore after having completely healed as it has. And as much as I miss it when we’re together, I’m still not sure I could live with myself if I replaced something that I used against Naruto in my attempts to kill him. I don’t think I’m ready for that, and I’m not sure at this point if I ever will be. At least I have these dreams where I can experience such things.)

Naruto unwraps his legs, rests his feet on the bed and places his hands on his knees, opening himself up for me. The sight of him like this, spread out and looking at me with those half lidded eyes that are sparkling with eagerness and pure want… the curve of his lips as they part around a moan when I run my right hand from his ankle to caress his thigh… I could die a happy man right now and have no regrets. This man that I love, that I wish to spend the rest of my life with, that I would do anything and everything for… he is beautiful, inside and out. The most beautiful creature I have ever seen. And he’s mine as much as I will always be his.

Curling my arm under his knee, I pull his leg up and lean in to press my lips against the inside of his thigh. It’s an innocent, tender kiss, meant to soothe him and show him that he’s precious, the most precious thing I’ve ever had the chance to possess. He’s smiling down at me when I glance up the length of his body, and he threads his fingers into my bangs, pulling them off my forehead and exposing the red of my Sharingan.

“I love your eyes. The intensity you look at me with, the way your Sharingan takes in every inch of me. I have to admit I’m a bit jealous you get to keep these moments forever. That you can look back on them at any time, in perfect clarity. Lucky bastard.”

Pressing one more gentle kiss I whisper into his skin, “yeah, I am. And not just for these eyes of mine.”

His cheeks flush a bit and he turns his gaze away in embarrassment. No matter how many times I speak words like these, verbalize how lucky I am to have him, not just in my life but in my bed as well, he’s always a bit unable to stand the praise. I want those blueblueblue eyes back on me, want to look deep into them as I worship him in every way possible. “Look at me. Watch while I touch you.”

“Sasuke…” He bites his lip as he turns back to face me and spreads his legs a bit further apart. “Touch me then.”

At the same time I bring my lube coated fingers to touch his entrance, I bite down hard on his inner thigh. He breaks our gaze, this time not in embarrassment but because his head tilts back as he releases a groan. The healing powers he has from the bijuu inside of him prevents me from leaving any lasting marks, but I do my best as I suck and bite along his skin. The teeth marks and light bruises will only stay for a couple of hours at most, but it’s enough to calm that primal need I seem to have…to mark, to claim, to prove that I was here, that he’s mine.

As I push a finger into him, I trail my lips down along his leg to mouth at the smooth skin right beside his hard cock. The actions have him grasping blindly at my hair, seemingly unable to decide whether to pull me closer or push me away. When I pull my finger back before pushing it back in a bit farther, he decides on the former. I wrap my arm securely around his thigh and take him into my mouth while sliding my finger in and out slowly. We have sex pretty regularly so he’s used to the stretch by now, but I still take my time. Besides just wanting to be sure I don’t harm him, I take great pleasure in slowly working us both up until it’s almost too much.

My own neglected cock is practically begging to be inside him already, but I keep up my actions of slowly preparing him while bobbing my head up and down. He’s still holding back from making too much noise, but I don’t fault him for it. It’s been a couple of years of having to keep the sounds to a minimum, careful not to call attention to ourselves and our…activities. But I will pull those delicious sounds out of him by the end of this. I’ll have him crying out for more of the pleasure we share.

When he’s sufficiently loosened, I pull back and shuffle closer, sitting back on my heels to see him breathing heavily and gripping the sheets at his sides. “Get inside me already, Teme.”

I lift his leg up to rest it on my shoulder as I guide myself into him. Once my hand is freed up, I use it to wrap his other leg around my hip and hold it there as I thrust in shallowly a few times. His legs are tense around me and his back has arched as I keep a steady pace of slowly sinking in a bit further each time. When I finally bottom out, fully sheathed in his tight, warm ass, I place my hand on his abdomen before slowly running it up and down his soft skin. Needing to be closerclosercloser, I lower his leg from my shoulder and lean over to rest my elbow next to his head, pulling him into a kiss as I continue to caress his skin. His eager hands thread into my hair as he deepens the kiss, our mouths moving savagely against each other messily and hungrily.

Breaking the contact a bit reluctantly, I trail my lips along his jaw. I slide my cock out slowly, his passage gripping me tightly as I move before relaxing as I plunge back in quickly. He bites back yet another moan at the action and I sharply slap the side of his thigh in reprimand. “I said stop that. I want to hear every. single. sound.” Each word is punctuated by a sharp thrust into him and when I simultaneously dig my teeth into his neck, my nails into his thigh and thrust harshly against his prostate, finally, finally I’m rewarded with an unrestrained moan.

The sound is accompanied by his muscles tensing around my cock, squeezing me almost too tightly and preventing any retreat. I groan loudly into the skin of his throat, rolling my hips into his in lieu of being able to pull back. “Relax, Naruto.” I run my hand soothingly along his side and press a kiss into his skin. “Don’t you want more?” The only answer is his head nodding against my own as he whimpers and slides his hands to my shoulders. “Then relax and let me give it to you.” Taking a couple of deep breaths as he nods his head again, the death grip around my cock finally loosens enough for me to pull out halfway and slide back in forcefully. “Just like that, love.”

(And who is this dream-me, casually calling him ‘love’? I wonder if this is a common occurrence in this dream world. While he is most certainly my love, I can’t imagine myself saying such a thing in reality. It’s always idiot, moron, Usuratonkachi. Though I suppose those could be considered ‘pet names’ strange as it may sound to most. Have I truly become such a mushy, lovestruck fool that my subconscious would put something like this into my dreams? Will a day come when I’m unable to hold such words inside and I do call him ‘love’? I must admit, though in my head I feel a bit sickened by such a thing, my heart always seems to have words like those on the tip of my tongue. It just doesn’t seem to fit the dynamic between us. Halfhearted insults and bickering are the norm for us. Will he just look at me strangely and pull away? Or will he return the sentiment and pull me closer? I suppose it’s a silly thing to ponder. It wouldn’t matter in the end. We always seem to find ourselves entangled, lost in each other and eager and willing to stay there. Perhaps a day will come when I’m so wrapped up in him, in the pleasure, the ecstasy, that something like that slips out.)

His hands scrabble at my back, nails surely leaving scratches behind in their wake, as I resume my thrusts into that tight, tight, heat. Over and over and over, I slide out to the tip before plunging back in to hit that spot inside of him that brings a moan or a groan or a whimper from those pretty, pink lips. It’s music in my ears, a sweet melody of sounds all for me and me alone. There’s no parents or older brother around to hear it now, just Naruto and I alone in our new home, ‘christening’ it with our love and ecstasy.

Sitting back on my heels again, my hands are restless in my need to feel every inch of him. To map every curve and angle in reverence. There are no gods in this world in these moments, only Naruto. My best friend, my lover, the other half of my soul. His skin is tan and smooth, unmarred as mine is from battle. No scars or cuts or fading bruises. The only markings currently blemishing his body are the ones I put there over the course of our lovemaking.

(Ugh. Really? Such sappy words again. But honestly, that’s what it is, isn’t it?)

He looks up at me with shining blueblueblue and flushed cheeks. “Don’t stop, Sasuke. Stop staring and keep going. Aren’t you supposed to be ravishing me?” I realize my movements have paused during my worship of his body. Taking hold of his hips, I angle them better and pull out halfway before plunging back in roughly. He moans long and loud, arching his back and panting, “yes. Like that.” I give a few more of those harsh thrusts, each one pulling more and more uninhibited noises. “Sasuke…I need you deeper.”

Once again, that need to be closerclosercloser spurs me to reach around his back and urge him up into my lap. Plus, he said he wants deeper and this will surely take care of that. His legs wrap around my back as his weight rests heavily on me, pushing my cock as far as it’s able to go, and he throws his arms around my neck with a loud moan into my ear. Smoothing my hands up and down his back, our sensual motions pause for a moment as we catch our breaths before he guides our mouths together and breaths against my lips, “keep going. I’m close.”

Nipping his lip before devouring him with a deep kiss, I slide my fingers into the hair at the back of his head and tilt it for a better angle. His hips attempt to move against mine, to resume the friction and slide of our bodies, but he has no leverage seated as he is. When he huffs in frustration, it pulls a small chuckle from me that he smothers with his lips. I run my hands down his back and grasp his hips tightly and using the hold I lift him off of me. He seems to immediately understand my intention and rushes to bend his own legs on either side of my own. I guide him gently back down until I’m buried once again, sliding my hands around the curves of his ass to aid the movements as he raises and lowers himself repeatedly. One of my hands smooths up the center of his back and then down along the same path, over and over as our movements gradually increase in intensity.

The heat between us, the friction along my cock as it plunges in and out, the light, barely there kisses on the side of my neck, the hands leaving more scratches against my back… it’s all quickly becoming too much and I can tell we are both nearing our ends. I need to see blueblueblue again. I need to watch as he comes apart in my arms. I need to see the emotions in his eyes as he reaches the peak and falls to the other side. I need blueblueblue.

Holding onto his hip, I gently cradle the back of his head and gasp out, “look at me.” And by now he knows what I mean when I say those words. He knows I need to stare deep into blueblueblue. He smooths my hair back and holds it with his hands gripping the sides of my head. Neither of us can keep ourselves from falling into deep, messy kisses, breathing heavily into each other’s mouths as the frantic motions of our hips begin to lose rhythm. I know I’m on the verge of cumming, but he’s closed those eyes of his while we lost ourselves in kissing.

I grab his jaw, perhaps a bit too harshly though he doesn’t complain, and pull away from his mouth with a sharp bite on that tempting bottom lip. “Open them.” The words are a demand and a plea all at once, spoken through panting breaths as my fingers dig lightly into his skin in need.

Still holding my head, he places his forehead against my own and opens those eyes. “I love you, Sasuke,” he breathes against my lips and the close proximity, while enjoyable, is not enough for me to take it all in. Using the hold on his jaw, I gently push him a bit further from my face and stare into wide open, slightly glassy blueblueblue eyes.

“I love you too, Naruto.”

I give a few more harsh thrusts, Naruto meeting each one with just as much force and on the fourth or fifth one, his ass tightens almost unbearably and I can feel his whole body tense against my own. His cock twitches against my stomach as it spurts his cum between our bodies as his back arches and his head tilts back while he moans his pleasure loudly. A light growl and a slight tightening of my fingers around his jaw, and he forces his gaze back to mine. I can read everything in those eyes; happiness, love, acceptance, understanding, comfort, ecstasy. All of those and more shine brightly in blueblueblue, and that is all it takes for me.

One of my arms wraps tightly around his waist to hold him closerclosercloser and the other pushes his hair back so I can better take in his gorgeous features as I groan loudly with my climax. I release deep inside of him, holding him still as I force my hips as close to his as physically possible, all the while staring into blueblueblue and recording this image for eternity in my mind.

When the force of our orgasms begins to fade, we stay there panting into the scant space between us, chests heaving and hearts racing. His fingers card through my hair as my hand rubs up and down his back. I hold the side of his face tenderly and use my thumb to brush a stray tear from the corner of his eye. “Tadaima, my love.”

His grin is so big, so beautiful, so happy. A soft laugh falls from his kiss-swollen lips and he gives me a quick peck before pulling back and whispering, “okaeri.”

(Once again, a freeze frame ends the dream, and the whispered word echoes as it fades. A picture of Naruto, my love, disheveled and debauched, smiling at me so happily and lovingly as he welcomes me home.

And isn’t that my greatest dream? One that will most likely never become a reality. It’s a little bit painful, knowing this slice of heaven in my dreams, sharing a house with my one and only, christening a bed and welcoming each other home, is truly more of a fantasy. A wish, a desire, a hope. Of finally being home forever.

Almost all of the dreams I have tend to bring a hint of nostalgia with both sorrow and joy, fleeting moments of a life with my family that have not and will never come to pass. This one though, while…enjoyable, is so bittersweet I almost wish I never had it at all. I almost didn’t even write it down.

It…hurts. It hurts so bad to witness such a thing. To see us both so happy in each other's arms in a home we share. And though we are also happy together in reality, we also lose ourselves in each other’s bodies and acceptance, the simple truth is that this won’t last. However long he decides to stay by my side as we travel will be a blessing. But when it comes to an end, when that village and his friends finally call him back home, that will indeed be an awful day. Because no matter how badly I wish a dream such as this one could come true, I will never be able to live in that village, and Naruto will surely never be able to live outside of it. We are doomed to continually be pulled apart. I will just have to enjoy this time where our paths have finally converged, and try not to think about when they will once again divert into opposing directions.

It.
Hurts.
So.
Bad.

Once upon a time, I was able to shut down my emotions, to lock every bit of them away in my heart and mind and throw the key to the bottom of the deepest well.
No bonds meant I didn’t have to feel the despair of loss again. It wasn’t worth it to get carried away with silly things like ‘bonds’ when I had goals to accomplish. Goals that I needed the deepest darkness for.

But now…after seeing into Naruto’s heart, seeing the complete trust, understanding, acceptance, joy. Light. To see how far he was willing to go for me. How much he was willing to lose for me. It’s impossible for me to shove that away anymore. He is my one and only.

It would be nigh impossible to ever throw that bond away as I did before. Because now I have finally realized and accepted that my love for him is…and isn’t that the most ludicrous thing in the world? Because such a simple word is not enough. Naruto and I are more.
He is my best friend, my lover, my one and only. He’s my only light in a world full of darknesses. I’m supposed to be by his side, because that’s what Naruto showed me, me by his side as we work together for a better world…a better life. perhaps if Naruto is guiding the way, I’m willing to follow it and see where it leads. It was the understanding we came to at the bottom of that valley, bleeding out side by side.

He is my only equal. The only one capable of stopping me if I ever lose my way. The only one able to stand toe to toe with me and push me to my limits. The only one that can take everything I have and give back just as much. What I feel for Naruto is eternal, unrelenting, unwavering and far too large to ever be locked into a forgotten cage inside of me.

Life would be meaningless without that bond, and I surely would throw myself to the bottom of the Final Valley. Otherwise, I know I’d end up setting the world on fire to be consumed by the eternal flames of my Amaterasu.

Though I won’t go out without a fight, that’s for damned sure. I’ll have him by my side somehow, prove to him that we are enough. that I can be enough. That maybe I’m ready to try leading the way for a bit. To show him that I’ve changed for the better, even if I still struggle sometimes, still falter sometimes, I’m trying my best to be the person he saved me to be.

I need to have him by my side in some capacity outside of that village. I need to spend time with him for more than fleeting weeks between months apart. It’s no longer enough. If he will just stay with me, stay by my side, I know we can both be happy. Because I know he feels the same. That our time apart doesn’t even compare to the times we are together.

So I’m making my choice. Even if it’s not for forever, I’m asking him to stay. My one and only. My love.)

———

The tears falling down Naruto’s face have left a few spots on that final page as he stares down unseeingly at the painful words written there. The arousal that had risen within him during the previous pages was quickly snuffed out as he read the words on the final few. All of a sudden he can’t breathe, and he hugs the book close to his chest as he falls off the chair and onto his knees. Huge, gasping sobs shake his body as he hunches over and tries to keep his heart from breaking. Because Sasuke is right. It. Hurts. So. Bad. To think that this wonderful time they’ve been spending together will eventually come to an end, that they’ll be parted for months at a time again. Perhaps for years this time. ‘How will I survive living like that after this?’

Naruto wants to become Hokage, and has wanted to since before he actually even knew what it meant. It is still his dream, his wish, his ultimate goal. But…but Sasuke…Sasuke is his everything. He feels exactly the same, that life would be meaningless without this bond they share. Especially now that he knows what it feels like to be so close to another person that it feels like he won’t be whole without him. Mind, body, soul; they have been connected in every possible way.

It’s been on his mind a lot the past couple of days. Ever since that awful trip back to Konoha, when he couldn’t even spend a full day in the village he loves. That after such a disastrous meeting with one of his dearest friends, there was no one in the village that could soothe the hurt. The only one who could, was miles away waiting for him to return. How can he possibly think he can continue to go through life happily without that comfort and safety he finds with Sasuke. How can he possibly think he can become Hokage when his heart isn’t even there in the village?

The book falls to the ground as he grabs the front of his shirt and tries to catch his breath, but he can’t. He’s hyperventilating and can’t see straight through the tears and his heart hurts and his head is pounding and his body is tense and he’s shaking and where is-

Suddenly there’s a hand on his jaw, tilting his face up and Sasuke is there, kneeling in front of him and looking at him with such concern, such love, such pain. The hand cradles the side of his face and a thumb swipes across his cheek in a miserable attempt to dry his tears. “You need to breathe.”

He shakes his head frantically back and forth. “I can’t- I can’t- I can’t-“

“You have to. Take deep breaths, in and out. You can do it.” Sasuke’s voice is low, measured and soothing, and with those beautiful mismatched eyes staring into his own, he tries to fill his lungs. He manages to deepen his breaths, but they’re still quick and painful.

“Slowly. Here.” The hand on his face retreats and takes a careful hold of his hand before bringing it to Sasuke’s chest and pressing it close. “Breathe with me, Naruto. Feel my lungs taking in the air.”

Keeping his eyes on Sasuke’s, he listens and feels as he breathes deeply and slowly and does his best to match the pace. It takes a couple of minutes, but eventually his breaths even out, though they are still interspersed with occasional gasps.

“Much better.” The hand on his own reaches back up to his cheek and holds it gently as Sasuke frowns. “I’m sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to make you cry like this. I just…” he pauses a moment and when he speaks next, his voice has a very serious, almost grave tone. “This is something I need to know you understand. I need you by my side, Naruto. This world doesn’t make sense without you. What you’ve done for me is something I will spend the rest of my life thanking you for. There’s still darkness in me. Some of it is so deep that not even your light can reach it. And the only possible reason I’d ever be able to live in Konoha again is if things drastically changed.” Sasuke’s thumb caresses the skin under Naruto’s eye and his lips curl into the barest of smiles. “I know it won’t be anytime soon. You’re probably the only person who could make it a better place, and you will make a great Hokage someday. But it will still be a few years until then, so as awful as it may sound, you have a choice you need to make.”

His stomach is in knots and his heart is pounding loudly in his ears. Sasuke’s hand cups the back of his neck, thumb resting behind Naruto’s ear, and with the way he stares at him with such intensity, Sasuke demands his attention at this moment.
And Naruto gives it and listens. “Will you stay with me, travel with me, perhaps find somewhere that can feel like home with me? It doesn’t have to be forever but at least until you become Hokage. There’s many things you can do to support Konoha from outside its walls. You’re free to visit anytime you like, however often you’d like. But please come back to me, Naruto. Please spend our time together out here with me because I need it, but I can’t go back there right now. Please tell me that I’m enough, even if only for a few years.”

Naruto feels his face crumble and holds his hand close as he drops his head onto Sasuke’s shoulder. “Sasuke…I…I love you so much. So, so much.”

A soft kiss is pressed to his temple and words are whispered into his hair. “I love you too, Naruto. Always.”

Naruto makes a few attempts at speaking, but can’t seem to find what exactly he wants to say. His mind feels like mush and he has the worst headache he’s ever had in his entire life.

“You need sleep. Go lay down on the bed.”

His head shoots up and he stares at Sasuke with panicked eyes as his hand tightens around the one on his face. “No! Don’t leave me!”

A kiss is pressed to his forehead and he feels as Sasuke whispers against his skin. “I’ll be right there. I’m just going to light the fire.”

He shakes his head quickly. “No. No. I’ll come with you. I just can’t…” He simply cannot bear to be away from him, even if it’s only a short distance between the bed and fireplace.

Sasuke pulls back to meet his eyes and releases a deep sigh. “Okay.”

Naruto wipes his face of his tears and piles the wood in the fireplace before standing back as Sasuke lights it. Once it’s burning steadily, Sasuke ushers him to the bed and lays him down, only taking a moment to unclasp his cloak before joining him. Naruto barely lets him lay down completely before immediately tucking himself onto Sasuke’s chest and wrapping his arms around him tightly. He knows his right arm will most likely fall asleep like this, and surely it isn’t very comfortable for Sasuke to be laying on it, but at this moment he needs to be as close as possible. He can’t have even a millimeter separating them.

A hand cradles the back of his head and a gentle but firm kiss is pressed to the top. He feels the weight of Sasuke’s head leaning against his own as fingers begin slowly carding through his hair. He can feel himself drifting off, the steady beat of Sasuke’s heart beneath his head and the soothing motions of the hand in his hair lulling him slowly but surely. He’s afraid to fall asleep though. Afraid of what kinds of dreams or nightmares he will have after reading such painful words. Afraid he’ll wake up and Sasuke will be gone. He tries to will himself to stay awake, but it’s for naught as he feels his eyes close and he slips into sleep.

Chapter Text

After filling the canteens, a poor excuse to begin with, he decides to take a walk around the dilapidated, abandoned village. He wants to give Naruto time to finish reading.

As he approaches the doorway, he hears the crying and gasping for air and rushes to his side immediately. When he pulls him to meet his gaze, the pain in that blueblueblue almost kills him. Especially when he knows it was himself that put that hurt there. Sasuke is surely the idiot between the two of them. He should have known not to share any part of that book with him.

Now he wishes he had just stayed so he could have been there to stop him from reading some of those things. Surely he would have seen as his face started to crumble and, hopefully, been able to tear the book away and never let him touch it again before it could cause such harm. Because it obviously has. It caused him to hyperventilate and he looks like he’s seconds away from passing out.

Sasuke has never been madder at himself, and that’s saying something considering all of the poor choices he’s made over the years. He’s furious that he chose to let Naruto read such things. He had been so sure in the moment that it would be a good thing, that it would sate some of Naruto’s curiosity. And it’s not that he forgot what he’d written, he’d reread it multiple times that day after all. He didn’t anticipate the effect his words would have, though he probably should have.

‘He may not have read my darkest thoughts, but now he’s seen the way I truly feel about how things are between us. How much it hurts to know this will come to an end and how badly I need him by my side.”

Sasuke knows they share their hearts with each other, can sense and understand everything in them. But he’s never told him aloud, or in this case in writing, how badly he is dreading the day Naruto returns to Konoha for good. He’s never told him that he is his home. That he’s incomplete without him, lost and lonely in a broken world. That losing Naruto’s love would destroy him. That these are his biggest hopes and his deepest fears.

Perhaps he’d been hoping it would have had the opposite effect, showing Naruto how badly he wishes they could stay together always. That maybe reading such things would make him see that Konoha doesn’t have to be Naruto’s home, at least for now. That he could have a home with Sasuke and it could be enough. That he could possibly make Naruto feel fulfilled enough that he could at least wait and stay with Sasuke until he becomes Hokage to make a difference. Isn’t that what he was trying to show him by bringing him along on his journey? To show him there’s other people, other villages, that need help and protection too? Couldn’t they just wander the world together, helping where they can and making a difference in so many other lives, not just the ones in Konoha?

His jaw is clenched tight as he tries to fight the urge to run. To leave this pain behind and let Naruto go back to where he’s happiest. But he knows, as he’s always known, that Naruto will always chase after him. Won’t allow him to run away from things. Run away from him. And Sasuke can’t leave anyway, he can’t part from his side. He’s done running from Naruto. But the urge to save himself from heartache is still there.

He is dreading the morning, when they’ll inevitably have to discuss these things. Because he asked him to stay with him until he becomes Hokage and even if he knows Naruto’s been enjoying their time together, Sasuke isn’t sure exactly how Naruto will react. He’s trying to stay positive, but that darkness is creeping in.

Sasuke doesn’t sleep at all that night. He simply stares at the ceiling blankly, running his fingers through soft, golden hair and praying this doesn’t blow up in his face any more than it already has.

He has to pee badly, but Naruto is clutching him tightly and he is loathe to try to move him. The blond hasn’t moved an inch in his sleep as he usually does and Sasuke has a feeling Naruto would wake at the slightest movement. He wonders what Naruto dreams about. Are his dreams like his own? Of spending time with parents that he never even knew. Of sharing a life and a home with Sasuke. Or are they the things Sasuke dreads? Of returning to Konoha. Of being Hokage. Of leaving him behind and forgetting all about him. He’s not sure he even wants to know.

The sun is just rising when there is finally movement from Naruto. He tries to sit up, but his arm is still stuck under Sasuke’s body and he ends up falling back down on top of him. He shakes his blond head a few times before seemingly realizing the situation. His arm moves to pull out from under him and Sasuke shifts to allow it. As soon as he’s sitting up, Naruto faces him and places his hand down on the center of his chest. Naruto immediately shifts his gaze to his hand, obviously able to feel the way his he’s holding his breath. His voice is a bit scratchy when he speaks. “Now you need to breathe, Sasuke.”

He releases the breath and places his hand on top of Naruto’s. And surely his love can feel the pounding of his heart, the way it has quickened with his anxiety and dread. As much as he would like to just get this conversation over with, his bladder is still yelling at him to relieve it.

“Sasuke, I-“

“Give me a couple minutes and then we can talk. I’ve had to pee for the last hour.”

Naruto frowns and removes his hand. “You could have just moved me, ya know?”

He shakes his head as he stands. “It’s fine. You looked peaceful and I didn’t want to wake you. I’ll be right back.” Naruto nods in response and Sasuke makes his way out the doorway.

When he walks back into the house, Naruto is sitting in one of the chairs, holding the closed journal and staring at it. He takes a deep breath before going over and taking the seat across from him. He holds his breath once again, awaiting what will come out of Naruto’s mouth.

“Sasuke… you’ve told me everything you write in here is your thoughts and feelings. So that means…everything you write in here is how you truly feel, right?” He’s still staring at the book and his fingers have tightened around the edges.

Taking a breath, Sasuke nods. “It is.”

“So you…you really…feel that way? Like I’m your home?”

Another deep breath and another nod. “Yes.”

“And you…you know Konoha is my home? That I love it there and all the people in it?”

“…yes.” Reluctantly.

“It will always be my home, ya know? I don’t feel like you do about it. But…”

Sasuke feels like he’s going to cry, so he clenches his jaw and wills the tears away.

Naruto finally looks up to meet his eyes and there’s sadness and pain, but also happiness and love. “But you’re my home too. Just like in your dream, you had your home with your family, but also your one with me.” He pauses and licks his lips before biting them. He looks deep in thought, his brow scrunched and a slight frown on his bitten lips. “I…I want to be Hokage so badly. I want to protect and look over Konoha and make sure no one can ever hurt it again. That no one can ever be hurt by it again. I know why you can’t go back there. What it did to you..to both of us. But…I want that to change. I don’t want other children to suffer like we did. How Itachi did. I want to make it different and the only way I’ve been able to see that happening is to become Hokage and change it all.”

Sasuke relaxes his jaw enough to speak. “I’d like it to change too, Naruto. But I still don’t think I could ever live there again. It has too many horrible memories. Memories I already see in my nightmares and every time I’m there, every time I see the ruins of my clan’s compound, it just kills me. I’m not saying I have no good memories there, but for me the bad far outweighs the good.” He takes a deep breath and lowers his eyes, unable to keep looking into blueblueblue. The emotions in them hurt too badly right now. “I would love it if I could live there with you. That I could watch you become the greatest Hokage Konoha has ever seen. But I just can’t be there. So if all we have is until that day comes, I’ll gladly take it. I just…I need you to stay with me, Naruto.”

He hears Naruto shifting in his seat and sees the book being placed on the table. “I’ve been thinking, especially after reading your journal entry, that maybe…maybe I can wait. That we can keep going on this journey together, that we can keep being together, and I can visit Konoha and all my friends. And maybe…maybe someday you will be able to live there. That you’ll finally overcome everything that hurts you about it.”

Sasuke opens his mouth to deny it, but Naruto continues before he can speak. “But, I know that’s not fair to you. To expect you to do something like that. Because I know your pain is deep and you’re right, it may never be healed.” He pauses again as if waiting to see if he’ll speak, but Sasuke has nothing in response. “Konoha will always be my home, but…so will you. I wish I could just say ‘fuck Konoha’ and leave it all behind forever for you. But its been my dream for so long that…it’s really hard to push that aside. Even when every day we spend together, I do feel like it could be possible. I think…I think I just need a little time to really make sure I don’t make the wrong choice, ya know? I will always love you, Sasuke. That will never ever change. But I need to make sure that I don’t regret anything.

“So yes. Let’s stay together until it’s time. Until I’m ready and able to become Hokage. I need to be with you too, Sasuke. I want to be with you for as long as I can. And I feel the same. Even if it’s not forever, I need to be with you for as long as I possibly can. That…that’s okay? To spend this time together? And…maybe by that time, I’ll realize that our love could be enough to overcome such a long standing goal of mine.”

When Sasuke finally looks up, he sees the plea and hope and love in those blueblueblue eyes. He’s sure there had been a plea and hope and love in his own eyes when he asked Naruto to stay with him. And for his love to agree, to need to be by his side too, for however long they can…he’s overjoyed. He feels a tear slip down his cheek and whispers, “Yes. It’s more than okay. Thank you, Naruto.”

A wobbly smile forms on Naruto’s lips and a tear falls from his eye. He wipes it away as he puts his left hand palm up across the table. “Give me your hand?” He tries to keep his arm as steady as possible when he reaches out and places his hand atop Naruto’s. Warm fingers close around his and he wraps his own around them as well. “I love you, Sasuke. And I think it could be possible. Your dream. That we can have a home together.”

He takes a deep breath and holds it for a moment before letting it out slowly. This conversation, while not exactly what he had hoped for, has gone far better than he had expected. “Then we’ll enjoy it while we can.”

“I’m really happy with you, ya know?” Then there’s a glint in Naruto’s eyes and a smirk curls his lips. “My love.”

He scowls and pulls his hand back. “Oh, fuck off, Usuratonkachi.”

Naruto laughs and says, “you may as well have just said ‘fuck off, Love’. I know that’s basically what you mean when you call me that.”

With a scoff, he stands and turns to walk over to the run down kitchen. “Whatever.” He pulls out some ingredients for breakfast and then goes to light the fire. “Get the rice washed, moron.”

“Sure thing, Teme.” He can hear the smile in Naruto’s voice and it makes his lips curl into one of his own, even if it’s only the barest curve.

They’re quiet all through making and eating breakfast and it’s not until they’re washing up that Naruto breaks the silence. “Hey, Teme.” He lets out a vague sound of acknowledgment and takes a plate from Naruto to place on the drying rack. “You wrote porn. Like, the kinda stuff in Icha Icha, ya know?”

He can feel his traitorous cheeks warm slightly and turns his most lethal glare on this idiot. “It’s not porn.”

Naruto laughs and raises an eyebrow. “Oh, it most definitely is.” He leans into Sasuke’s face and whispers, “you ravished me, remember?”

He shoves his hand against the moron's face and shoves him back before swiping his legs out from under him. He hisses through clenched teeth, “stop using all my words against me, idiot. See if I ever let you read anything again. And it wasn’t even really me. It was a goddamn dream.”

Naruto rubs the back of his head and glares up at him. “Ouch! What the fuck, asshole? I could have been knocked out hitting my head like that.”

Sasuke would have folded his arms if he could, so instead he puts his hand on his hip and continues to glare. “You’re a fucking shinobi. You could have dodged that in your sleep. But you’re too busy being an absolute moron and saying stupid shit.”

Pushing himself to his feet, Naruto crowds his space again and wraps his arms around his waist. Sasuke doesn’t try to pull away, but he braces his forearm against the front of the blond’s throat to prevent him from pulling him any closer. Naruto is undeterred though, and simply grins. “Dreams are our subconscious, aren’t they? So you must want to ravish me. To devour me. To consume me. To lose yourself in me.”

His glare turns into a puzzled frown. “How are you able to remember every single word like this? Aren’t I the one with the eidetic memory?”

“I don’t know what that means, but I don’t remember everything.”

“That’s exactly what that means, idiot.”

“Whatever. You and your fancy words. Anyways, I only really remember the really good parts. The ones where you say things you would probably never say in the real world, ya know?” He tries to pull him closer, but Sasuke keeps his hips stubbornly still, puts a bit of pressure against the idiot’s neck and narrows his eyes. Sasuke is so lost in his irritation that he misses when Naruto grabs his wrist and uses the hold to pull his arm away from his neck and twist it out to the side. The blond leans forward while pulling him in with the arm on his waist and whispers into his ear. “I wouldn’t pull away, ya know. If you called me ‘love’. I’m glad I got to read that because now I know that even if you never do say such things to me, that you think about it and you want to. That’s good enough for me. For now at least. I’ll ’coax it out of you’.”

‘Why on earth am I in love with this idiot? He lives to torment me just like Niisan did in that dream. How did I not realize this would be the result?’

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Sasuke counts to ten before opening them with his Sharingan activated. Naruto has leaned back and is staring at him in confusion. “Keep talking like this and I’ll throw you through that wall.”

With a frown on his face, Naruto finally releases him and moves back a step. “Don’t have to be a dick about it. I’m only joking around a bit.” He crosses his arms and scoffs. “Besides, you’re the one who let me read it knowing what it said, bastard.”

Sasuke’s glare softens slightly and he heaves a longsuffering sigh. “One of many mistakes I’ve made in my life.” He flicks him on the forehead and turns away. “Finish those dishes and find something to keep you busy. I need to ‘scribble in my diary’.”

“Hey! You’re just gonna leave me to do all the work?”

After grabbing his journal off the table, where it had remained in plain sight during the entire morning, he glances over his shoulder. “You can handle it, Usuratonkachi.” He puts on his cloak and adds, “I’ll be back shortly. I don’t need very long.” And he walks out with the idiot sputtering insults behind him.

He doesn’t go far, just down the main road to sit on a stone bench in the middle of the town. With a sigh, he opens the book on his lap, once again catching the pencil before it can fall. Turning to the correct page, he rereads everything that Naruto read the night before, even though he has it memorized already. When he gets to the end, he takes a deep breath and turns to a new page. He will never let Naruto read what he writes next.

———

It was beyond stupid to let him read that entry. I know he will never let me live it down. He’s right though. Dreams are our subconscious and formed by our own minds. So every dream I write about is the truth. I do want to ravish him, devour him, consume him, lose myself in him. And not just physically. Every part of him until all he knows is me. Because all I know is him. Nothing else is able to fill this empty hole in my heart. Nothing else is able to make me feel like I can keep moving forward. Nothing else makes me feel like I’m actually alive and not living in some meaningless world. Nothing else could ever replace him. Nothing else shines light on my darkness.

As much as our conversation this morning went better than I was expecting, it’s sent me back into dark thoughts. Thoughts of just tying him up and locking him in some remote house somewhere. Thoughts of putting him under genjutsu and imprinting the suggestion to never return to that village. Thoughts of just razing that village to the ground as I had planned to years ago. But I know none of that would even work. Naruto is the only one capable of stopping me, both physically and emotionally. And since he loves that village and every person in it, I could never destroy it as long as he is alive. And the only way he wouldn’t be is if I wasn’t either.

And that has brought thoughts of just killing the both of us. To end our time in this world that seems intent on pulling us apart and take my chances that what Naruto said at that bridge was correct. That we will be together in the next life. We could have a home together, without all the baggage of these lives we are leading right now.

Sometimes I even wish Niisan would have killed me as well that day when he massacred the rest of our clan. I wouldn’t have had to go through all the pain, the agony, the sorrow, the grief, the darkness. I wouldn’t have known Naruto, wouldn’t have fallen in love with him so hard that now I’m incomplete without him.

The thought of our time together ending, of him finally returning to that village has been in my mind the entire time. Has been circling over and over and over and over and over. It never stops. And now, after that conversation this morning, when he confirmed my fears that that village is still his home, that he does eventually need to return. That I may not be enough to make him happy without it, it’s killing me. Because it’s like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. A countdown, a deadline, an inevitability. Because there’s no way someone like Naruto, someone who loves to be surrounded by people, could ever be happy with a life of solitude with only me. There’s no way I will ever be enough to fill that hole in his heart. Because he said it himself, becoming Hokage is still his dream.

I know he would deny all of these fears of mine. Deny that I’m not enough. Deny that he will ever abandon me. Deny that he will ever forget me. Deny that the darkness will eventually take over my heart again. Because that is my greatest fear besides losing Naruto’s love. That as much progress as I’ve made, as much as his love has saved me, as much as I’ve been able to put some of the despair behind me, it still lingers inside of me. And I’m not sure it can ever be completely removed. So I guess those two fears go hand in hand together. Losing my mind and losing Naruto. Because if I lose Naruto, I lose my mind, and if I lose my mind, I lose Naruto.

I feel like my sanity is on the edge of a cliff right now. One misstep, one slip, one wrong blow of the wind, and I will plummet to the bottom of a chasm of despair and nothing could bring me back. Not even Naruto with his light and warmth and love. I’m terrified that this will happen. I’m terrified we will have this time and he’ll decide it’s not enough for forever. Being out here with me, away from that village is not enough to fulfill his dreams and make him happy.

I almost want to just send him back now. To not allow myself to get any closer than I already am. To not allow myself to keep having a happy, fulfilling life with him if it will only end in heartbreak. To save myself from at least some of the pain, the sorrow, the despair I will feel when he leaves me.

But I’m selfish, and desperate, and in love. I will take every scrap of time with him that I can. Because every moment by his side is perfect. Every moment by his side soothes the hurt and pain of my past. Every moment by his side is a moment that I

———

“Sasuke?”

He stops writing mid sentence and looks up to see Naruto standing in front of him, looking down with a worried frown. Sasuke can’t believe he didn’t even hear or sense his approach.

“Can I sit? Or do you need more time?” He looks so hopeful that Sasuke cannot deny him.

He slides over to make some more room. “Sure.” Closing the book and setting it aside, he wipes the lone tear that has slipped from an eye and places his hand on his lap. As Naruto sits down, Sasuke looks up towards the sun, the one in the sky, and realizes it’s been about an hour since he left the house. “I didn’t realize it’s been so long. I suppose I got lost in my thoughts.” He moves his gaze to a random cloud in the sky, one that resembles a dragon, and stares at it. He can’t see Naruto’s eyes right now. He can’t lose himself in blueblueblue or he’ll break.

“It’s okay. I just got a bit worried is all. I knew you didn’t go far, I would have sensed it if you had. But…I just needed to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine. I just needed to try to get a few things out of my head. I didn’t mean for it to take this long.”

Sasuke can see him nod in his peripheral vision. “Did it help at all? Writing it down? That’s why you do it, right?”

He sighs and shrugs, still looking at the cloud that has shifted shape and now looks more like a horse. “Somewhat. I stopped mid sentence so it’s all…still there right now.”

“Oh. I’m sorry I interrupted you. Do you need some more time?”

He slowly nods and picks up the book. “That would be good. Thank you. I really won’t be long this time. I was almost finished and then I just want to reread it. It helps to…process it.”

Naruto stands and places a hand on his shoulder. “Take your time. I’ll be waiting back at the house.”

Sasuke nods and waits for Naruto to leave before opening his journal.

———

feel like I can breathe. Every moment by his side is a moment that keeps the darkness at bay. Every moment by his side is a moment that keeps me from falling off that cliff I’m on the edge of. Every moment by his side is a moment I fall more in love with him. And I will take every one of those moments for as long as I can. Even if it ends up killing me in the end. I will never stop loving him.

I love Uzumaki Naruto with all that I am. He is my best friend, my lover, my one and only, my savior, my salvation, my light, my life.

He is my love. And perhaps the day will come when I can call him that out loud. Hold him in my arms and say ‘thank you, my love.’

———

After finishing the last sentence, Sasuke takes the time to reread it all. He stares at the last paragraph, reading it over and over as he takes a few slow, deep breaths. Writing it all down has helped a bit, as it usually does, but all of those thoughts are still lingering. He still feels like he’s close to the edge, though it seems he’s taken a few steps away from it. Deciding that he’s been away long enough to compose himself, he closes the book and stands to return to the house.

When he enters, Naruto is making what appears to be lunch and there is a bag sitting to the side of him. “Hey, Teme!”

Needing some of that light, needing to feel it close, and once again missing that damned left arm, he walks over slowly and wraps his arm around his love’s waist before dropping his head against the back of his neck. Naruto leans back into his chest and places his hand on Sasuke’s before going back to the sandwich he’s working on.

“What are you doing?”

“Uhh…making lunch? What does it look like I'm doing?”

“What’s with the bag?”

“I figured we could go back down to that lake for a spar and some lunch.”

He places a kiss to the nape of Naruto’s neck and mumbles against his skin, “sure.”

Naruto turns to face him with a grin. “Great! Can you go grab our bathing stuff? I’m almost finished here.”

He waits until Naruto turns back to the counter before placing his forehead into the crook of his neck and tightening his arm. “No. I’m fine right here.”

He’s expecting an elbow to the gut, but Naruto just pauses before sighing heavily. “Fine. But you’re carrying the bags.”

He huffs a laugh and mumbles, “sure.”

They start out at a leisurely walk, but once they’re about a mile away, Naruto takes off running and yells over his shoulder. “Last one there has to cook dinner!”

He stands there a minute, scowling in the moron’s direction before sighing and taking off after him. He’s still feeling a bit out of sorts, so although he’s running, he can’t seem to match Naruto’s pace. When he arrives at the top of the hill that slopes down into the lake, he can see Naruto at the bottom near the water’s edge and leaning back against a boulder. He slows to a stop to admire the way the sun is shining in bright, golden hair and then takes the remaining distance at a walk.

Naruto looks at him with a smile before taking the bags from his hand. He places them atop a flat part of the boulder and reaches down to pick up a stone. He tosses it up and down in his hand a few times before asking, “same rules as last time?”

Sasuke nods and removes his cloak and sword. Same rules is hand to hand only, no weapons, no jutsu. “Sure.”

“Great! Let’s go over there.” He points to a stretch of land along one side of the lake, mostly flat with a few scattered trees. Sasuke nods and follows behind him. After getting into position on opposite sides of the plain, Naruto grins and throws the stone up into the air. As soon as it lands in the middle, the spar begins.

Although he normally enjoys fighting Naruto immensely, Sasuke knows his heart’s not in this one. There’s still the lingering emotions from the things he just wrote in his journal, and his movements are a bit sluggish and rigid.

Naruto jumps back a few feet and crosses his arms with a frown. “What’s with you, Teme? You’re not even trying.”

“I’m fine.”

Naruto eyes him skeptically before putting his hands on his hips. “Is this not enough of a challenge for you? Should we move on to weapons?”

He sighs and rolls his shoulders to relieve some of the tension in them. “Sure. Throw another stone.” He goes to retrieve his sword as Naruto picks up a stone and tosses it without waiting for him to be ready. He has just enough time to pull it from its sheath before turning to block a kunai. Naruto is holding it with a grin and Sasuke frowns at him. “So we’re cheating now?”

“Pshhh. A shinobi should always be ready. Not my fault you wanted your sword.”

Twisting his arm, he uses the blade to knock the kunai to the side before tossing it into the air to free up his hand. He throws a punch at the idiot’s grinning face, but he dodges it and throws one of his own. Ducking under it, he slides behind Naruto and catches the sword as it falls directly into his hand. When Naruto turns with another kunai in hand, Sasuke slashes at his chest but is blocked again.

About fifteen minutes go by in this manner before Naruto teases, “Do you need to use your Sharingan, Teme?”

“Shut up. I can easily beat you without it.” This idiot is doing a really good job of getting him back into the mood for a good fight. His only equal, the only one who can provide any kind of challenge. This is what he needs from life; his one and only, by his side, pushing each other to greatness.

A laugh rings out as Naruto sweeps his leg out to try to trip him and Sasuke is barely able to jump over it. “Doesn’t seem like it to me. Cmon, I’ll give you the handicap.”

Sasuke glares and sticks the tip of his sword into the ground beside him. His blood is pumping and he’s feeling more than motivated to knock this moron off his feet. “How about I give you the handicap, moron.”

Naruto tosses a kunai into the air a few times. “If you really want to.” Naruto punctuates the sentence by throwing the blade in his direction, but he easily dodges it by tilting his head to the side.

“Not good enough. Try again.”

“It’s going to feel so good to knock you on your ass, bastard.”

A smirk curls the edge of his mouth as he watches Naruto run towards him. “You can certainly try.”

They’ve been at it for an hour now, and at first Sasuke was honestly having a bit of trouble keeping up. Fighting without his Kekkai Genkai against weapons, with none himself was perhaps not the greatest idea. But Naruto’s repeated taunts and the rush of excitement he feels from fighting him hand to hand, being in close proximity to him, have steadily given him an even greater desire to throw the idiot to the goddamn ground.

And he’s beginning to want to pin him down for other reasons than just winning. Turns out, the adrenaline from sparring against Naruto, the rush of endorphins and the closeness of their bond that he has always felt while fighting him, is a bit of an aphrodisiac. He’s learned this over the course of the time since they’ve gotten together more intimately; fighting Naruto turns him on.

At last, he sees an opening and takes the opportunity to finally throw that idiot to the ground. Naruto is on his back with the wind knocked out of him and wheezing for breath as he scowls up at him. Sasuke has his knee braced against his chest and his forearm on Naruto’s throat with just enough pressure to keep him from moving.

His Sharingan activates and he stares down into blueblueblue eyes, momentarily losing focus and getting lost in them. It’s like ocean currents pulling him under, forcing him deep into the depths, and he will always willingly drown. They sparkle with the light that is Naruto; the brightness and love and hope and acceptance and-

And suddenly he’s flat on the ground, staring up in confusion. Naruto is propped up over him and grinning in triumph, knees on either side of his hips as he holds a kunai pointed at his neck. “Did you get so distracted that not even your Sharingan could help you counter such a simple move? You had the win, but..” Keeping the blade in place, he leans down and whispers into his ear. “You lost yourself in me, love.”

“Shut up and come here, Usuratonkachi.” Ignoring the threat of the kunai, he knocks the arm holding it away before grabbing Naruto’s hair and forcing their lips together harshly. They swallow each other’s moans as Naruto wholeheartedly meets his aggression, his passion. After tossing the weapon to the side, his lover brings the now empty hand to his face and deepens the kiss until it’s all consuming. Sasuke is lost but he’s found; he’s home.

Suddenly there’s pressure on his erection, and the friction of his clothes against it as Naruto pins his hips down with his own has him bucking up and groaning into the kiss. His hand releases its hold on Naruto’s face and slides along his spine to grab the curve of his firm ass and pull him down into the contact. Naruto’s body pressed down against him from chest to groin; the hands gently but securely cradling his face; the slow rocking motions of his lover’s hips; the wet heat of his mouth as their lips meet over and over; the practically suffocating emotions between them; the strength of their bond; it’s almost too much. It always is; too much, but not enough. He needs closerclosercloser and moremoremore.

He slips his hand into the back of Naruto’s pants and squeezes his fingers into the muscle. His lover breaks the heated kiss with a gasp of air and lurches up to sit back on his heels. The full weight of Naruto’s body pressing down on his cock makes Sasuke clench his teeth around a groan. He digs his nails into the flesh in his hand to urge Naruto to move, and his lover gets his message loud and clear. Bracing his hands on Sasuke’s abdomen, he slowly lifts himself up a little bit before dropping back down. They roll forward and the friction, the pressure, the pleasure is divine.

There’s a cheeky smile on Naruto’s face as he stares down at him with glittering blueblueblue. “You look ready to devour me, Sasuke.”

And it must be true, because that’s how he feels at this moment. It’s exactly what he’s thinking, and he knows the scowl he shoots up at Naruto is a weak one. Through clenched teeth, he growls out, “you really do infuriate me sometimes. Taunting me with my own words like this again. You must want to be devoured, Naruto.”

Rocking his hips again, his lover closes his eyes as his head tips back with a small moan. The side of his bottom lip is caught between sharp teeth and he whispers heatedly, “I really, really do.”

They continue to rock their hips against each other leisurely, indulging themselves in the slow motions and heated eye contact. Naruto is stunning as he moves atop him; golden hair glittering in the sun, blueblueblue brimming with emotions as he looks down at him, a pretty red flush against the tan skin of his cheekbones, the way his swollen lips part to release encouraging moans.

“Sasuke…I wanna do it.. like this next time.” His movements don’t stop and he speaks between pleased noises. “It was amazing before but.. I really wanna be able to.. look into your eyes. And when I was.. in your lap you were so.. deep. It felt like.. like there was no way.. no possible way we could be any closer.”

Sasuke wants that too; to watch the ecstasy as it unfolds on his features, to be buried deeply inside his love, to feel that warmth tighten around his cock when it reaches that spot that seems to make him see stars. Yeah, that sounds like an absolutely brilliant idea. But…

His pleasured groan turns into one of frustration when he realizes their predicament. Again. “We really need to start bringing stuff with us.”

Naruto lets out an absentminded hum in response before stopping and staring at him. “Wait, what?”

Rolling his eyes at this moron, Sasuke bucks his hips up as he pulls Naruto down into the motion. “We don’t have the goddamn lube, Usuratonkachi.”

“Well, fuck.” Naruto pouts and leans over him again to press their lips together. “We really can’t…?”

As much as he wants to agree, he groans into Naruto’s mouth in disappointment. “No. We need to go back.”

“This would have been so convenient to wash up afterwards too…”

“Hn.” He removes his hand and slaps the side of Naruto’s thigh lightly. “Cmon. Let’s take a dip in the lake and then eat.”

“Whaaa…but-“

“This can wait until we get back to the house.”

Naruto collapses against him and buries his face into Sasuke’s neck with an exaggerated sigh. “I thought you were good at making plans.”

He scoffs and fists the messy, blond hair to pull Naruto up to face him. “You’re the one who packed the bags, Usuratonkachi.”

Naruto scowls and as he moves to get up, Sasuke releases his hold. “I didn’t exactly plan for this to happen, ya know?”

He accepts the hand offered to him and stands up. “You probably should have. You must have realized by now that every time we spar lately, it ends up like this.”

Naruto pauses in thought as he’s opening a bag. “Hmm. I guess you’re right, huh?”

Bathing and lunch are expeditious affairs as both of them are anxious to return to the house and resume the activities they are ill prepared for at the moment. As soon as Sasuke has finished his sandwich, Naruto pulls him up by the hand, bags already packed and ready to go.

“Impatient much?”

“Wipe that smirk off your face, bastard. As if you aren’t.”

“Eagerness and impatience are not the same things.”

Naruto drops his hand and punches him in the arm. “I can be patient!”

He slows to a walk and flippantly says, “okay. We’ll take our time then.”

Sputtering in indignation, Naruto grabs his hand again and urges him back to a run. “No chance in hell, Teme.”

He’s already half hard by the time they make it in the door because, yes, he is eager. So much so, that when Naruto says it’ll be quicker if he assists in helping to remove Sasuke’s clothes, he voices no complaints. Besides, he may be an idiot most of the time, but he’s right in this case.

Naruto drops to his knees, pulling Sasuke’s pants and underwear down along the way. As he steps out of them, Sasuke threads his fingers into soft hair as his lover mouths at his abdomen. He mutters a curse when a hand wraps around his now fully hard cock and gives it a few lazy strokes. Looking down into blueblueblue as Naruto slowly takes it into his mouth, it’s only his iron will that keeps him from thrusting forward into that wet heat. His fingers card through the blond locks to prevent himself from pulling Naruto closerclosercloser when he starts bobbing his head, slowly taking him deeper each time.

It’s only a few minutes before he grabs the hair and pulls Naruto away. When he sits back on his heels, Sasuke can see him fisting his own cock as he frowns up at him. “Why’d you stop me?”

Resting his fingers under Naruto’s chin, he runs his thumb along the moist, pink lips and declares, “as fantastic as that feels, it’s not where I want to be inside you right now.”

He watches as a tan hand tightens around the base of Naruto’s cock, as he bites down on Sasuke’s thumb to hold back a groan at his words. “Yeah, yeah you’re right. Hurry up and go lay down while I grab the stuff.”

Just as he’s laid his head on the pillow, Naruto climbs on his lap and dives in for a kiss. A lube covered hand wraps around his erection at the same time and he groans when it begins to stroke up and down, slowly coating him in the slippery substance. Naruto whispers against his lips, “do you wanna do it or should I?”

He thinks back to the last time when Naruto had mentioned preparing himself if he didn’t get on with it and how he had shoved the thought aside for another time. This seems like a great time for such a thing. He grips the nape of Naruto’s neck and nips at his lip. “You do it. Don’t rush though.”

He feels the wicked grin against his lips. “Why? You want a show or something?”

“No, moron. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

Naruto sits up to put more lube on his fingers before leaning back down and reaching behind himself. Sasuke sees it in his eyes when he breaches the hole and pulls him in for a brief, harsh kiss before breaking it so he can watch Naruto’s expressions as he works himself open.
His eyes are closed, and while he misses the blueblueblue, it gives him a chance to observe the rest of his features as they twist with pleasure. His brow is slightly furrowed in concentration with a rosy blush coloring his whiskered cheeks, and his mouth switches between biting down his bottom lip to smother a moan and dropping open when he can’t seem to contain it.

The minute movements of Naruto’s hips causes delicious friction against his weeping cock and he swears under his breath as he runs his thumb under one of Naruto’s eyes. “Open them.” And either his lover remembers the words from Dream-Sasuke, or he just knows what he’s talking about, because those lashes flutter open to reveal alluring blueblueblue. Pleasure glazed eyes look down into his own and Sasuke can’t help but to pull him in for a kiss at the heat in them. He’s enjoying thoroughly consuming Naruto’s mouth when he feels him shifting his legs and hips. Then there’s the lube covered hand stroking him a couple times again and he breaks the lip lock with a groan. “You’re good?”

Naruto nods eagerly as he braces his hands against Sasuke’s torso to lift his hips, and he reaches down to guide himself inside. As soon as he breaches the tight entrance, his lover doesn’t wait to cautiously lower himself, and Sasuke is slowly engulfed in tight, tight heat. It’s fire and lightning; burning through his veins and shocking his brain with the sensation. His hand is gripping a taut, tan thigh, and when he looks down the length of his body, his nails dig into the flesh as he sees himself disappearing into Naruto.

“Fuck, Sasuke.. it’s so good.”

It’s more than good, it’s fucking heaven. Fully encased in that tight, pulsing, burning warmth and Naruto’s nails lightly scratching his skin as he kneads his hands against his chest. When his lover lifts off of him halfway before dropping back down, Sasuke’s jaw tenses and he drags his nails down the skin beneath his hand. He smooths his palm back up and repeats the action when Naruto moans unashamedly and clenches around him.

He bucks his hips up every time their hips meet, but Naruto does most of the work, lifting and dropping, rocking his hips back and forth, all the while staring down at him with those half lidded, rapturous eyes. Sasuke roves his gaze up and down the lithe sweaty body as it moves, watching the muscles tensing and relaxing in time with the movements, before refocusing on blueblueblue. All of this is his. Every curve and plane of firm pliant muscle, every inch of smooth tan skin, every emotion shining in those enticing bright eyes, every pleasure filled gasp and moan, everything. He spent years pushing this beautiful man away, denying their everlasting bond and trying to kill him. And still, Naruto stands by his side and allows Sasuke into his heart and mind and body.

This is only the second time they’ve had penetrative sex, but just as the first time, the combination of feeling their karmic bond and the physical sensations of being inside his lover create such an overwhelming sense of connection that it’s not long before he can feel his impending climax. He wishes he could make this last longer, is trying to keep his body’s reactions under control but he’s quickly losing to the euphoria that comes when they are joined like this.

Naruto’s movements are becoming uncoordinated and a little bit sluggish as he does his best to keep moving, but Sasuke can feel the trembling muscles under his palm. Bracing his feet on the bed, he bends his knees and thrusts upwards as he wraps his hand around Naruto’s leaking cock. The response he gets is glorious. Nails dig sharply into his sides as Naruto’s back arches and his head tilts back with a broken moan. Giving another harsh thrust, he strokes his hand up and down and hisses through his teeth when Naruto clenches so hard around him his vision blacks out for a second. “Oh, fuck…”

Looking back down at him, Naruto whimpers, “do that again…fuck me, Sasuke.” So he does it again.. and again, and again.. and each time his lover squeezes around him as if he never wants him to leave.

“Come here.”

Naruto’s eyes flutter open and he collapses onto his chest to meet him in an absolutely filthy kiss. ‘Ravish him, devour him, consume him, lose myself in him.’ It echoes in his mind as he continues his actions, thrusting his hips up into clenching heat, stroking the twitching cock in his hand. The kiss breaks as Naruto seemingly gets a second wind and pushes himself back, propping his weight up with grasping hands against Sasuke’s torso and using the leverage to meet each rough thrust of his hips. That glorious picture of perfection above him, the rhythmic motion of their hips, the clenching heat around his cock, the slickness against his hand as he matches the pace of their movements, and blueblueblue, its rapidly unraveling Sasuke.

Eyes staring straight into Naruto’s, he whispers into the stifling air between them, “come for me, Naruto.”

With a gasp of his name, Naruto tenses, presses his hips down into a harsh thrust and his muscles squeeze around him so tightly Sasuke has to force his eyes to stay open. He can’t miss the ecstasy on his lover’s face as he cums all over his hand and stomach; mouth parted around a sonorous moan, a rosy flush on his cheekbones, bright, glassy blueblueblue gazing down at him, burning with a thousand emotions.

The captivating sight, all the sensuous sensations and the pulsing tether of their bond, pushes him over the edge, and Sasuke moves his hand to grip the curve of Naruto’s ass to hold himself deep inside. His nails dig fiercely into silky skin as he clenches his jaw to unsuccessfully hold back a loud groan, and he feels his cock pulsing as he fills his lover to the brim.

When Naruto loosens his death grip and collapses on top of him, his spent cock slips out as he lowers his hips back to the bed. His hand slides up his lover’s side to cradle the back of his head and bring their mouths together. They kiss lazily for a few minutes, riding out the last of their orgasms and basking in the afterglow. With one last peck to his lips, Naruto looks down at him with a bright, sunny grin and his voice is a bit scratchy when he murmurs breathlessly, “Sasuke.. that.. was fucking amazing. Why did it take so long to realize that this is how we’re supposed to be.. that this is us. We’ve really been missing out, ya know?”

With a tired chuckle through smiling lips, Sasuke rubs his thumb over a whiskered cheek. “Then we’ll just have to make up for the lost time.”

Naruto sits up and stretches his arms over his head before flopping onto the bed and turning to him. “We should find another festival to go to. Last time was really fun. Plus we have to put those yukatas to good use for Kimiko-baachan, ya know?”

Thinking back to that beautiful day, the floating lanterns, the perfect way that blue yukata fit Naruto and how it spurred his attraction towards his best friend, Sasuke threads their fingers together and murmurs, “sure.”

Chapter Text

Almost a week has passed since they decided to stay in this old, abandoned house. Most of that time was spent having sex or sparring, which admittedly usually ended with sex anyway. After experimenting with different positions, they’ve found that the first two they tried worked out best when taking into account Sasuke’s missing arm. While it’s always enjoyable and Sasuke never complains, Naruto can see the frustration his lover feels when he’s unable to fully touch him in the ways he would apparently like to. He remembers Sasuke’s commentary in his journal, that he only regrets the loss when they’re together and an idea has been floating around in his mind for the past couple of days.

They’re having lunch by the lake, freshly cleaned after an exhilarating fight which, once again, devolved into them fucking the adrenaline out of their systems. Naruto has just finished eating when he decides to bring up his idea.

“Hey, Sasuke?” He gives an answering hum while chewing his last bite of food. “I’ve been thinking.. I don’t know if it would even work or anything but.. what about genjutsu?”

Sasuke frowns at him in confusion and swallows. “What about it?”

He picks at a hole in the bottom of his pants and meets Sasuke’s eyes. “In your journal, what you wrote about your arm. I was wondering if.. maybe you could use your genjutsu. Like put us both under and you could make yourself have both your arms. Is that.. something that’s possible?”

The expression on Sasuke’s face is cycling through a strange mix of intrigue, contemplation, pride, and irritation. He apparently settles on the second one as he replies, “it’s possible I suppose. I’ve never used it for such a thing, but it’s most likely something I could figure out.”

He grins and folds his hands together excitedly. “We should try it out!”

Sasuke’s brow furrows and he pauses before answering. “Let me try a few things first. But.. it’s a good idea.” He frowns before adding, “I’m actually a bit upset I didn’t think of it. But I suppose it’s on par for you to come up with unpredictable ideas, isn’t it?”

He winks and gives Sasuke a thumbs up. “It’s basically my middle name.”

“Yes. It most certainly is.”

————

“I’m kinda gonna miss this place, ya know? I mean, it’s in pretty bad shape but.. it’s nice here.”

Sasuke raises an eyebrow and looks over at him from where he’s packing the last of their things into a storage scroll. “You pacing holes into the floors didn’t help.” When Naruto scowls at him he adds, “but yes, it is nice.”

While Sasuke rolls up the scroll and places it in his bag, Naruto hugs him from behind and whispers in his ear, “besides, this is where you first ravished me, love.” He barely dodges the elbow to his gut and skips out the doorway laughing.

Sasuke catches up to him a few houses down with a severe frown on his face. “Quit it with that, Usuratonkachi.”

“Quit what?”

“You know damn well what.”

Placing his arms behind his head, he looks at Sasuke innocently. “No idea what you’re talking about.”

He watches as Sasuke activates his Sharingan and pulls his sword an inch out of its sheath. “Keep playing dumb and see where that gets you, moron.”

Naruto waves his hand dismissively. “Put your weapons away, Teme. No need for violence. I don’t mean anything bad by it. I just like pushing your buttons. And…” He sighs and scratches the back of his head as he looks down at the ground. “It was kinda.. nice to read about. You calling me things like that, ya know? I know you would probably never say anything like that in real life. Like, you’ve only said you love me that one time.” He looks at Sasuke as he waves his hands in front of himself frantically and adds, “I don’t mind, though! You don’t have to say it for me to know you do, ya know?”

Sasuke glances at him from the corner of his eye before looking forwards again. “I haven’t said it again because it’s not enough.”

His face scrunches in confusion. “Huh?”

Sasuke sighs and Naruto can see that his hand is tightly fisted by his side. “It’s not enough to describe how I feel about you. Such a simple word like ‘love’ feels... wrong.”

“Then.. if it’s not ‘love’, what is it?” He’s confused and there’s some kind of unknown emotion bubbling up inside him. It’s a combination of affection, anticipation and surprise.

“I’ve been trying to figure that out. I don’t know of such a word or if there even is one.” Sasuke stops walking and turns to face him. The expression on his face is fond, but laced with frustration. “Naruto… I do love you, and I meant it when I said it. But you’re more. We’re more. I’m pretty certain you know what I mean by that.”

Biting his lip and feeling like he’s about to cry, Naruto nods his head. “Yeah. We are. Should I.. not say ‘I love you’ anymore? Does it upset you?”

A small smile curves the corner of Sasuke’s lips, and he reaches out to brush his thumb softly across Naruto’s cheek. “No. You can say it if you want to. And I could say it back if you’d like.”

“Even if it’s not enough?”

Sasuke takes a step closer, cups the back of his head and brings their foreheads together. His eyes are closed and that small smile is still there. “I suppose it will have to be enough for now. But you’re more to me than just ‘My Love’.”

He throws his arms around his everything and his cheeks almost hurt with how big his grin is. “I love you, Sasuke.”

A gentle kiss is pressed to his forehead and Sasuke whispers against his skin. “I love you too.”

————

Since it’s still the middle of winter, they've decided against going north and travel west instead. The trade route they’re currently on is fairly busy for this time of year, and most of the people are all going the same direction as them. After asking one of the many merchants, they find out there is a festival for the new year happening in two days in a town not far from where they are now. When he turns to Sasuke with pleading eyes, he doesn’t even have to say anything. The dark haired man may have sighed in a begrudging manner, but Naruto saw the small smile on his face as he’d agreed.

It’s a much larger town than the one in the valley where they attended the lantern festival. When they arrive, there’s already tons of people milling about in festival attire and merchants setting up their wares. A few of the ones selling yukatas try to get them to buy some, but Naruto waves them off and happily proclaims they brought their own. Most of the inns are already booked up, but they eventually find one at the opposite edge of town that still has rooms available. It’s not one of the nicer ones, but they just spent a week in a house that was close to falling down so neither of them have any complaints.

Despite the festivities not officially starting until the following day, Naruto insists they put on their yukatas before leaving the room for dinner. When he walks out the door to the bathroom, he finds Sasuke leaned against the opposite wall staring at him with his Sharingan. Though his face and body are relaxed, there’s an intense look in his eyes that Naruto knows means he’s memorizing what he’s looking at, which at the moment is him. Smiling playfully, he puts his arms out and spins around. “See something you like, Teme?”

The blood red fades back into deep black and Sasuke takes a few steps forward to stand in front of him. “You looked more than ‘nice’ when you first wore this. That was the first time I’d seen you dressed up at all and when you walked out of that bathroom I..” A light frown creases his brow like he’s thinking hard about something. “That was the moment I began to realize that there was something.. more to what I felt about you.”

Naruto’s eyes are wide as he stares at Sasuke in wonder, and when he speaks it’s a breathless whisper. “How did I look?”

“Like you do now.” A pale hand cups his warm cheek and Sasuke leans close to murmur in his ear, “stunning.”

Unable to help himself after hearing such a thing, he grabs the sides of Sasuke’s face and pulls him into a fierce kiss. When he tries to reach for the tie on Sasuke’s obi, his hand is stopped and pushed against his own chest as the bastard pulls away. “What’s wrong? Don’t you want to-“

“As much as I would love to, we should go eat before you start complaining that you’re hungry.”

With a disappointed frown, he huffs, “yeah. You’re probably right. But when we get back…”

There’s an anticipatory glint in those mismatched eyes as Sasuke smirks and agrees. “Sure.”

The ramen Sasuke treats him to is almost as good as Ichiraku. He doesn’t even need to look across the table to know he is the recipient of that intense stare again. “Some things will never change, will they?”

He glances up and slurps down some noodles before wiping his mouth. “What are you talking about?”

“I would say that there’s no need to hurry, but I know this is just how you eat.”

With a light scowl, he points to himself with his chopsticks. “I like to devour ramen.” He gestures at Sasuke with them and adds, “you like to devour me.”

The response he gets is a frown and a hand shoving his utensils back towards him. “Just eat your damned noodles, Usuratonkachi.” He continues to do so with just as much gusto as always. “We could do it tonight if you’d like.”

He raises an eyebrow and looks at Sasuke like he’s stupid. “Uh, I thought that’s already been established?”

“Yes, it has been.” Red bleeds into Sasuke’s right eye. “But I was talking about the genjutsu you mentioned.”

Suddenly feeling way more motivated to finish his food as quickly as possible, he swallows his mouthful before saying, “then let’s hurry up and finish this delicious ramen, Teme.”

When they get back to the room, Sasuke kisses him deeply before instructing him to lay down on the bed. When Sasuke follows suit, he turns onto his side and meets light purple and blood red eyes. A pale hand rests on his cheek and a thumb brushes the skin under his left eye.

“Keep your eyes on mine and don’t fight the genjutsu. Just fall into it.”

He places his hand over top of Sasuke's and smiles. “Okay. I’m ready when you are.”

The Sharingan swirls into the Mangekyou and Naruto falls.

—————————————

The genjutsu he’s using is a fairly simple one, and he’s had it figured out since the day after Naruto brought it up. The trip here he’d spent pondering whether he really wanted to even try it though. As great as it would be to be able to hold and touch Naruto in all the ways he’s not currently able to, the thought that it might sour every other experience afterwards has been bothering him. However, when he saw Naruto walk out of the bathroom clothed in that yukata that most certainly does match blueblueblue, he’d been unable to think of anything else. A visceral need had immediately risen in him to do anything needed to properly show his appreciation for such a beautiful sight.

The first thing he does when he enters the genjutsu is look down to his left. He brings his hand up and flexes it a couple of times before looking up. Naruto is staring at his hand and reaching towards it. Blueblueblue eyes glance up at him in question, so he nods and holds it out. He holds his breath as it’s taken gently into Naruto’s unbandaged, natural right hand. When he’s able to feel the rough skin of that tan palm he closes his eyes and lets out his breath a bit shakily.

“Sasuke?” He opens his eyes and meets Naruto’s questioning gaze. “You okay?”

“Yes. It’s just.. weird.”

When his hand is squeezed lightly, he looks down to their joined hands and stares for a minute. When his lover calls his name again, he runs his gaze up along the fine fabric of the yukata he’s chosen to keep them in. Releasing Naruto’s hand, he brings both (both!) of his own up to cup his jaw and watches as his thumbs gently caress the soft skin. He leans forward to peck soft pink lips and then does the thing he’s been aching to do for almost two months now. He wraps his right arm around Naruto’s back, threads the fingers of his left hand into messy blond hair and pulls his best friend close to hold him tightly.

Though he freezes for a moment, Naruto returns the embrace with his arms around his waist and presses his face into the curve of Sasuke’s neck. “This is really nice.”

“I’ve wanted to do this since that night in Uzushio. There was nothing I wanted more in that moment than to hold you close like this. My one arm felt so inadequate in the face of all of your suffering. I wanted to make that pain go away so badly.”

The head against his shoulder shakes slowly. “The comfort you were able to give was more than enough, Sasuke.”

And he feels it. Naruto’s gratitude and understanding and acceptance and joy and that unnamed feeling, the one that’s more than love. All of the things that connect them together, bring them to the home they share in each other. That final piece slipping into place to complete the puzzle that is them. And he wants Naruto to know he feels it too. That yearning for closerclosercloser and moremoremore.

He tilts his head to speak quietly into Naruto’s ear. “I want to be close to you. I want more.” Tightening his arms, Sasuke presses his hardened cock up against Naruto’s and adds in a whisper, “I need more, Naruto. I need to feel you.”

A shiver runs through his lover’s body as Naruto inhales sharply, and his voice is a breathless murmur against his skin. “Then feel me, Sasuke. I need you close too. I always do.”

“Come here.” His fist tightens in soft hair and he uses the hold to bring their lips together. They both fall into it immediately, a wet, messy, devouring kiss that consumes him. He pulls back to refill his lungs, brushes a thumb briefly across the smiling lips and then dives down to press a kiss against the curve of his neck.

“Sasuke.. this room is…is this the one from your dream?”

It is the room from his dream. The bedroom that was theirs, in their new home. Together. “Yes. It seems a fitting setting for what I plan to do to you.”

Hands fist the back of his yukata and Naruto tilts his head to encourage his actions. “What’s that?”

He pulls back to stare deep into blueblueblue and answers as he slowly unties the obi from Naruto’s waist. “I intend to unravel you completely until the only thing you know is us.” He parts the fine blue fabric and brings his hands (both!) to rub up and down the gloriously smooth, tan skin that’s revealed to him. He wraps his fingers around a tan hip and smooths his left hand up Naruto’s spine and back down to rest on the curve of his firm ass, pulling their lower halves into more contact. He mouths against the smooth skin along the way up to speak against soft, parted lips. “Then I’ll use the precious thread that binds us to sew you back together again.”

Strong arms wrap around his neck and pull him closer. “You plan to ravish me again.”

“I plan to lose myself in you. And I know you will lose yourself in me. I’ll make sure of it, Naruto. Because there is no you or me. There is only us.”

He feels Naruto’s groan vibrate against his lips when he squeezes the supple flesh in his left hand. “I’m already lost in you, Sasuke.”

“Good.”

With a blink of his eyes, he’s hovering over Naruto on their bed. And just like in his dream, the sunny blond, blueblueblue and golden tan contrast beautifully against the stark gray of the silky sheets. He lowers his body to cover Naruto’s, pressing him into the bed with his weight as he kisses him roughly and pulls his thigh up over his own hip. His lover’s legs part willingly, cradling his body and bringing their erections together as eager hands hold him close. The kiss breaks with a wet smack as Sasuke trails his lips along Naruto’s throat to press kisses down the center of his torso with his left hand caressing the soft skin of his side.

“You’re my best friend.” Kiss. “You’re my savior.” Kiss. “You’re my light.” Kiss. “You’re my heart.” Kiss. “You’re my home.” The last is breathed into the crevice where Naruto’s thigh meets his groin before Sasuke sucks at the skin and then licks a stripe from the base to the tip of his hard cock. When he takes the dripping head into his mouth, a hand grasps at his hair as Naruto’s muscles tense.

“Oh, fuck, Sasuke…” The fingers in his hair seem torn between pushing him away and pulling him closer when he slowly lowers his mouth. He spends some time there, swallowing when he reaches the base, licking around the shaft as he pulls up to suck at the tip. So involved is he in his ministrations, he is a bit startled when he’s pulled off by a trembling hand. “Stop…fuck you have to.. stop before I-“ Naruto cuts himself off with a gasp when Sasuke wraps his right hand around the shaft and runs his thumb along the frenelum.

Turning his head, he licks his lover’s inner thigh before sucking on the skin. “Cum for me, Naruto.” All it takes is two firm strokes, and when Sasuke sinks his teeth into the muscled flesh beneath his lips, Naruto moans loudly and cums all over his stomach.

Naruto’s body sags into the mattress as he pants out, “dammit. I didn’t wanna cum until..”

Sasuke chuckles and laps at the sticky mess. “Don’t worry. I’m not done with you yet.” Using his cum coated hand, he grazes his fingers across Naruto’s entrance lightly. “Not at all done with you.” The sudden urge to put his mental scrapbook to good use rises and he runs his hands up and down the thighs bracketing him while staring into blueblueblue. “Remember what I said about not fighting it.”

Naruto wets his lips and nods. “Okay.”

He closes his eyes to reshape the surroundings in his mind before opening them and reminding, “keep falling, Naruto.”

The next blink of his eyes and the room around them is replaced by the wooded area at the top of the Final Valley. They're laying naked atop a bedroll and Sasuke is pressed up against Naruto’s back. He wraps his arms around the blond and buries his face against the curve of his neck, holding him securely and closing his eyes to soak in the feeling.

All of the emotions Sasuke had been feeling that night they were here rise to the surface of his consciousness. The anxiety, the pain, the regret, the sadness, the gratitude, and the overwhelming, aching need to be as close to Naruto as humanly possible. He realizes his own body is trembling and tightens his arms as he pulls Naruto closerclosercloser.

A hand wraps around one of his own and there’s a tentative whisper. “..Sasuke?”

When he hears the concerned apprehension in Naruto’s voice he breathes out shakily and loosens his hold, pressing a gentle kiss against the curve of his neck in apology. “Sorry. I just… it feels good to hold you with two arms.”

The rushing water of the nearby falls is the only noise in the quietude they lay in for a few minutes. The melancholy passes and is replaced by the lust he had felt lying just like this; pressed close to Naruto’s back from head to toe with no layers of cloth between them.

“That night was the first time I pictured being inside of you. When I touched you here,” Sasuke runs his hand lightly over the curve of Naruto’s ass before grabbing his hip and pulling him closerclosercloser. “And then I pressed up against you like this…” When his hard cock slips between the cheeks, his lover pushes back into the motion with a moan. Placing light kisses along a sloping shoulder up to Naruto’s ear, he whispers, “I wondered what it would be like to be that close to you. As close as physically possible.”

He feels the shiver that runs through his lover’s body as a hand lands on his arm. “Wanna be that close to you now, Sasuke. Show me what you were thinking about.”

Slipping his left arm between Naruto’s torso and the ground, he wraps it tightly around his chest to hold him close and runs his right hand up and down his lover’s pert ass. “Sure.”

It only takes a simple thought with the help of the genjutsu to have his fingers already coated in lube. Sasuke pulls his hips back just far enough that he can slip his hand between their bodies and glide his fingers down the cleft of Naruto’s ass. Just as he begins rubbing the slippery lube over his hole, there’s a sharp gasp of breath from the blond and the tensing of cheeks around his fingers.

“What? How did you..”

Pressing the tip of his middle finger in, Sasuke murmurs in Naruto’s ear, “it’s genjutsu. I can make anything happen.” He feels the sharp intake of breath and the racing of his heart beneath his left hand. He slides his finger in smoothly to the knuckle, the tight channel accepting the intrusion much more easily than in reality. “Anything, Naruto.” The low groan the action elicits from the blond is a sweet melody in Sasuke’s ears.

Despite preparing Naruto being eased by the genjutsu, Sasuke takes his time with the process; slowly, gently, leisurely. Gradually taking the blond apart piece by piece. Naruto can’t seem to stay still, his body squirming, hips pushing back eagerly into Sasuke’s hand.

He leaves kisses and nips against the back of Naruto’s shoulder and neck, his doujutsu allowing bruises to bloom in their wake. It soothes a dark, possessive part of his mind to see his markings on the otherwise unblemished, tan skin. Marks not put there by fury and violence, but of passion and connection. Bruises not because of hatred, but of love. Still, the thought of blemishing otherwise perfect beauty is enough to have Sasuke pressing a gentle kiss to each small hurt.

Quiet, whimpering breaths call his attention and he decides he needs to see the expressions play across his lover’s face. He needs blueblueblue. He rearranges his arm to prop himself on his elbow with his forearm cradling Naruto’s neck.

From his new position, he sees his lover’s eyes squeezed shut, whiskered cheeks flushed a pretty red and his plump pink lip bitten between perfect white teeth. Naruto’s hands are clenched into the pillow beneath his head, fists so tight his knuckles are whitened.

Sasuke grasps the wrist within his reach, while pressing three fingers in deep, and demands, “open your eyes, Naruto.”

His vision is immediately treated to blueblueblue when Naruto’s eyelids fly open as he gasps loudly. “Sasuke… oh my god...fuck.”

Their lips find each other instinctively, inevitably, matching the intensity with the movements of their bodies. His fingers have picked up their pace, plunging in and out of Naruto’s ass roughly, and he grinds his rock hard cock up against his lower back, eager hips rocking back into his own.

They pull away from the kiss simultaneously, sharing an intense gaze brimming with more words than they’re able to speak. All Sasuke can manage is a breathless, “Naruto,” as perfectly in sync, Naruto whispers, “Sasuke.”

Without breaking eye contact, he removes his fingers and guides his cock into tight, grasping heat. Unbidden, the surroundings change once again back into the dream bedroom, the plush mattress now cushioning their bodies rather than the cold, harsh ground.

Sasuke smooths his hand up and down Naruto’s side before grasping his hip and grinding himself in deep and slow. He keeps his pace steady and sedate, simply enjoying the tight warmth of his lover’s body, the muscles squeezing around him spasmodically as he moves in and out. Closerclosercloser.

He stares into blueblueblue, studies every shade and hue of the sparkling irises shining back at him. Pulling a tan leg up with a hand under the knee, Sasuke groans into Naruto’s panting mouth, “beautiful.” A choked breath leaves Naruto’s mouth and Sasuke watches a single tear fall from his wide open eyes. He licks it away and whispers, “so fucking beautiful.” Sasuke hears gasping breaths in his ear and feels Naruto’s hand desperately grabbing at his head and pulling him closerclosercloser.

He quickly decides that while this is a thoroughly enjoyable position, it’s not conducive to how he currently needs to touch Naruto. He needs to feel every inch of smooth, tan skin; head to toe, against his own body, under his hands, pulling him closer, welcoming him inside. Pulling out gently, he brings his hand up to Naruto’s face and brushes his thumb softly along a flushed cheek to wipe a stray tear. “Lay down.”

Naruto is quick to comply and Sasuke slots himself between his parted legs which immediately wrap around his hips to urge him back inside. If he wasn’t feeling just as desperate, he might’ve laughed or cracked a joke about Naruto’s eagerness. He needs moremoremore.

Sasuke releases a satisfied groan when he is once again surrounded by that constrictive heat. He takes hold of Naruto’s hand, laces their fingers and presses it gently into the sheets. As he starts to pump his cock in and out, he runs his left hand up and down any part of his lover’s body he’s able to touch.

Naruto’s free hand is no less restless; running through Sasuke’s hair, grabbing and scratching at his shoulders and back, pulling him into a devouring kiss. Once breathing becomes an issue, Sasuke nips bruising kisses along Naruto’s lean throat. A hand in his hair holds him close as the blond tilts his head back to give him more room. “Sasuke…fuck. Gimme more.”

He licks a stripe up to Naruto’s ear and murmurs, “more?” The question is punctuated with a rough thrust of his hips that pulls a low moan from his lover.

“More.” Sasuke feels Naruto’s heels dig into his ass, urging him on with more than just words. He can definitely give his lover moremoremore. After all, Sasuke needs it just as badly.

He briefly captures Naruto’s lips as his pace speeds up. “I can do that,” is breathed into Naruto’s mouth before Sasuke pushes himself up to his knees and tries to disengage. However the blond stops his retreat with strong legs wrapped around his waist and an irritated growl.

“Where are you going?” the blond demands with a petulant frown.

Sasuke huffs a laugh and runs his hands over the powerful thighs holding him close. “You want more don’t you?”

“Uh, yeah. That’s what I said isn’t it? So why are you trying to pull out?”

A smirk curls Sasuke’s lips and without any room to pull back, he grinds his hips forward harshly in staccato with his next words. “Roll over on your knees. I’ll give you more.”

Naruto lets out a low moan at both the actions and words, his eyes fluttering closed and his head tipping back. When he reopens his eyes and meets Sasuke’s gaze, the blueblueblue is nearly eclipsed by the black of his pupils, yet shining no less brightly. He nods his head a few times and releases his hold on Sasuke. “Yeah. Yeah okay. Let’s do that.” He is quick to turn his body, rising to his knees and resting his weight on his elbows.

When Naruto looks back at him over his shoulder, the sight is enough to make Sasuke groan and quickly grip the base of his cock to stem his impending orgasm. Miles of smooth tan skin and the muscled curves of his perfect ass spread before him and waiting for moremoremore; the coy, knowing look on Naruto’s flushed face, a smile gently curving pink lips; blond hair askew and damp with sweat. He holds his erection tightly for a moment and prays for mercy as he reaches with the other hand to fondle that pert rear. His thought pours from his lips unconsciously, “you’re going to be the death of me, Naruto.”

“Heh. A war and fight to the death wasn’t enough to kill you, but staring at my ass is gonna be the thing that takes you out?”

Pulling the cheeks apart to reveal the stretched hole, he pushes with the tip of his thumb and watches in mild fascination as it’s easily accepted. He hums in distracted acknowledgment before drawing his eyes away from the enticing sight. “It is entirely possible.” He watches raptly as Naruto bites his lip and flushes a bit redder. “Especially if you keep looking at me like that.”

Looking slightly embarrassed but quite happy, Naruto grins and pushes his ass back into Sasuke’s hands. “Just get back inside me and gimme more already.”

Needing no more prompting, Sasuke is already pushing back inside, swallowed up in the constricting warmth that welcomes him eagerly. He grips Naruto’s hips tightly and immediately begins forcefully plunging in and out of his lover.

It takes Sasuke a few moments to realize that the hold he’s able to achieve with both hands allows him to pull Naruto back into each of his sharp thrusts. The first time he does so causes Naruto to toss his head back with an abrupt shout. Pleased by his lover’s reaction, he repeats the action a second and third time, groaning when the tight passage spasms around his cock.

Muttering a curse, he digs his fingers into Naruto’s hips harder and continues tugging them against his own in harsh movements. He sees tan hands clenched tightly in the grey sheets and hears as the blond starts whimpering a mantra of his name.

Sasuke keeps the frenetic pace as he stares down at his lover and murmurs, “you there yet, Naruto?”

“Ah..almost. So close, Sasuke.”

Groaning when the tight passage clenches around him, Sasuke soothes a hand up and down Naruto’s side before resuming his grip on restless hips. He stares down at where they are connected, watches as his cock is buried over and over again. “Mmm.. me too.”

The tan back below him arches a bit as his lover releases the death grip on the sheets and reaches below himself. The motions of his arm give away the fact that he’s currently jerking off and Sasuke lets out a swear as he leans down to mouth at the back of Naruto’s neck. “My light.. my home.. my one and only.. my everything..”

Naruto releases a fractured moan of his name and clenches unforgivingly around him and it’s enough to send them both over the edge. His teeth have found their way into his lover’s neck once again and darkness clouds his vision at the overwhelming pleasure.

He obviously hadn’t accounted for the way such ecstasy would affect his hold on the genjutsu, because when his vision clears he’s staring into Naruto’s blueblueblue and they are laying on the bed in the inn. The glassy, dazed look in those eyes worries him for a moment, that perhaps his lover is still stuck in the genjutsu. Then Naruto blinks lethargically at him and whispers his name.

Releasing the breath he was unconsciously holding in, Sasuke smoothes his hand along his lover’s cheek and into his blond tresses. “You with me?”

“I think so…” Naruto blinks his eyes a couple times and when they open again he looks more cognizant. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m here.”

“Good. I’m sorry about that.” He’s a bit sheepish when he continues, “I didn’t mean for the genjutsu to end so.. abruptly. I should have realized what would happen when…” he trails off as he feels Naruto’s hands cup his face.

“Heh. No worries. I get it. It was.. intense.”

Smiling a bit lopsidedly, he turns his face and presses his lips to Naruto’s palm gently. “Definitely.” His brow scrunches a bit as he studies his lover’s eyes for any lingering after effects. “You’re okay though?”

A sunny smile stretches pretty pink lips. “I’m a little overwhelmed, but yeah. I’m okay.” Then Naruto is sliding his hands around the back of his neck as he pulls him closerclosercloser. Their lips meet softly and slowly as they enjoy a leisurely kiss. Despite the sex having just been in their minds, Sasuke finds his body with a bone deep tiredness. It’s a little disconcerting, feeling such lethargy when he hadn’t given any real physical exertion.

Breaking the kiss gently, he turns onto his back while pulling Naruto along to lay against him. He releases a yawn as his lover’s head nestles onto his chest and murmurs tiredly, “lets get some sleep.” He’s not sure exactly how much time has passed while in the genjutsu and is too exhausted to really find out. Naruto seems to share the sentiment as he mumbles incoherently and shifts into a more comfortable position against his side. Sasuke is asleep almost as soon as he closes his eyes.

Chapter Text

“C’mon already, Teme! The festival has started!” Sasuke glances up from his shoes to see Naruto by the door impatiently waiting for him to finish buckling them. While normally he would be irritated to be rushed, when he sees the bright grin on the blond’s face he can’t seem to conjure the feeling. He supposes the afterglow from some leisurely morning sex has something to do with it too.

With a light sigh, he finally stands and walks over to Naruto. “Let’s go then, Usuratonkachi.” Naruto grabs his hand and pulls him out the door, barely waiting for Sasuke to shut it behind them.

The first place Naruto drags him to is unsurprisingly the strip of food stalls situated along the decorated main road. The blond head twists and turns in all directions looking for the perfect first meal of the day. Weaving their way through the crowd of people, Naruto leads him towards what he seems to have decided on. Sasuke is mildly surprised it isn’t ramen but a stand selling onigiri. After purchasing their food and stopping at another stall to buy some tea, they find an unoccupied bench and sit to eat.

When Sasuke looks over at Naruto, he sees a couple grains of rice stuck to the corner of his mouth and he reaches out to brush them off with a mildly displeased frown on his face. “You really can’t eat without making a mess, can you?”

Naruto blinks at him and pouts around another mouthful. He thankfully finishes chewing before responding. “I’m hungry, bastard. Can’t help it.”

Sasuke rolls his eyes and swallows his last bite before picking up his tea to take a cautious sip. It’s hot yet refreshing and he savors the taste for a moment. He’s barely finished drinking and Naruto is already pulling him to his feet to keep moving.

The blond is in his element in the lively atmosphere. There’s a bright smile stretched across his face as he practically runs down the street to the main plaza where there are games set up. The first they stop at is the fishing game and while it takes Naruto a few tries, he eventually manages to catch one. When the worker hands him a small bag filled with water and the fish, Naruto holds it up triumphantly.

With a sigh Sasuke reminds him, “you know we can’t take that with us.”

A frown creases his friend’s face before smoothing out in realization. “Heh. Yeah I guess you’re right.”

There’s a young boy being pulled away from the stall by their parents, who are trying to console the crying child. Naruto immediately catches their attention and hands the fish over.

“Are you sure?” the mother asks unsurely as she cautiously takes the bag from his hand.

Nodding emphatically, Naruto explains, “yes of course! We’re travelling, so I can’t really take it along with me.” He ruffles the kids hair and adds, “take care of the little guy, okay?”

The boy smiles shyly up at him and cradles the small bag. “I will! Thank you!”

The exchange conjures up an old memory for Sasuke. He remembers being around the same age as the boy in front of them and failing at catching a fish of his own. His niisan had inevitably succeeded on his first try and turned to a dispirited Sasuke to hand his prize to his younger brother.

A small smile forms on his face at the pleasant memory. He’s pulled from his nostalgia when Naruto turns to him and challenges him to a game of darts. The promise of friendly competition is enough for Sasuke to readily agree and follow as he’s led across the road to the appropriate stall.

A sign on the front proclaims that chakra usage is forbidden but Sasuke is confident in his skills regardless. He needs no extra help in kicking Naruto’s ass at such a simple task.

He closes his left eye so as not to accidentally use the Rinnegan to aid him, and after taking a moment to mark all the targets lets three darts fly at once. The sound of three balloons popping brings a smirk to his face as he turns to Naruto. “Your turn, Usuratonkachi.”

“Wipe that smug look off your face, Teme. I can do just as good as you, ya know.” Three more balloons pop and Sasuke is treated to a bright grin as Naruto happily whoops and sticks a finger in his face. “See that? You’re not the only one who can do it!”

Grabbing the offending hand, he twists it until Naruto winces. “Let’s up the difficulty then if you’re so confident.” He picks up three more darts and closes both eyes. Taking a moment to breathe slowly, he throws the projectiles and hears the satisfying sound of three more pops.

There’s a frown on Naruto’s face when Sasuke turns to him. The blond shoves him to the side and takes a deep breath before releasing it slowly and closing his eyes. Two of the darts meet their mark, but the third hits the wood next to the target without bursting the balloon.

“Dammit!”

“You were saying?”

“Oh shut up, bastard. I’ll definitely win the next one!”

“Sure.”

Naruto has opened his mouth to undoubtedly respond with more indignation when he’s interrupted by the stall worker. The middle aged man waves his hand in the direction of the side wall and says, “no need to argue, lads. You’ve both earned a prize! Take your pick.”

With a triumphant smile, Naruto turns and scans over the prizes. “That one!” he exclaims with his finger pointed at the wall. Sasuke watches incredulously as the man hands over a small frog plushie.

“Another one? How many of these abominations do you really need?”

“As many as I want, Teme! Mind your own business and pick one.”

With a sigh, Sasuke turns to the wall and reluctantly peruses the myriad of prizes. While he can’t help but think it’s ridiculous and a bit useless to have such trinkets, when he spots one of them a small smirk tilts the corner of his mouth. “I’ll take that one.” He’s handed his requested item and immediately turns to Naruto and presses it against his chest. “You obviously need more training, Usuratonkachi.”

Naruto catches it when Sasuke pulls his hand back and stares down at it incredulously. It’s a wooden training kunai meant for small children and the blond immediately looks at him and clenches his fist around it. “Are you serious right now? This is for kids, asshole.”

“Then get a better aim. You should’ve been able to hit those targets in your sleep.”

“I hate you,” Naruto growls through gritted teeth.

Sasuke huffs a laugh and replies, “that’s not what you were saying this morning when we-“

A furious blush coats whiskered cheeks as the blond shoves his hand over Sasuke’s mouth, cutting him off mid sentence. “Don’t say such things out loud like that, Teme!”

A discreet cough sounds from his left and Sasuke glances to the side to see the worker looking a bit uncomfortable. He feels his own cheeks heat a bit in embarrassment at what he almost said in public and grabs Naruto’s hand to drag him away. “Let's see what else there is.”

They compete in a few more games before Naruto inevitably gets hungry again, and he insists on being treated to ramen after beating him at a ring toss. Sasuke is fairly certain that the game was rigged as some carnival games tend to be, but he doesn’t put up much of an argument when the demand for food is accompanied with a brilliant smile and glittering blueblueblue.

Once day turns to evening, they make their way to a hill overlooking the town and find a spot to sit under a large tree. There’s no floating lanterns this time, but they overheard earlier that there would be fireworks when it got dark.

The first big boom has them both looking up at the sky to see a burst of colors. Large flowering splashes of green, red, yellow, and orange take up the entirety of their view. When a blue one flashes, it reminds Sasuke of the color of Naruto’s eyes and he immediately turns to his lover to take in his visage.

The blond’s eyes are wide in amazement and his mouth opens around a quiet, “wow. It’s so pretty.”

While it is indeed a very lovely display, Sasuke thinks it has nothing on the picture of Naruto staring up at the sky in awe. The fireworks are painting his face in glowing light and the delighted smile on his mouth has Sasuke’s lips tilting into one of his own. Not wanting to disturb Naruto’s enjoyment, he simply reaches over and places his hand gently atop the tan one resting on raised knees. Without taking his eyes off the sky, the blond turns his hand over and laces their fingers. Sasuke sighs in contentment and looks back up to enjoy the colorful show.

——————

On their way back to the inn, they decide to purchase a bottle of sake to celebrate the new year. After imbibing the alcohol with a late night snack, Sasuke learns something new about his lover. While Naruto has always been a touchy feely person, especially after indulging in a few drinks, the turn their relationship has taken has apparently made him quite handsy and bold while under the influence.

Sasuke is trying to brush his teeth when he feels arms wrap around his waist and warm breath against his ear. “Sasuke…hurry up.” A questing hand makes its way down his abdomen to palm at his cock through his underwear and he almost chokes on his own spit when it tightens a bit around him and Naruto continues in a whisper, “I need this in me.”

With his only hand currently occupied with his toothbrush, he can’t exactly stop the attention Naruto continues to pay to his rapidly hardening cock. He makes quick work of his task and when he finishes, finally grabs his lover’s arm to halt his movements. The blond refuses to be deterred however, and simply brings his other hand down to continue with his exploration. The addition of small kisses to his neck and shoulder have him swearing under his breath and closing his eyes to bask in the feeling for a minute.

He opens them to the Sharingan staring back at him in the mirror and when he focuses his eyes on Naruto instead, he’s met with blueblueblue. They’re glazed slightly with the effects of the alcohol and looking back at him with heat and anticipation. It takes only a moment for Sasuke to decide on his next course of action; a pulse of chakra behind his Rinnegan as he switches their places.

“Whoa.. what the hell..” Naruto slams his hands against the sink to keep himself upright, seemingly a bit disoriented. Sasuke wastes no time and immediately crowds his space with his arm wrapped around the trim waist as he presses forward with his hips. The action elicits a moan from his lover, echoing off the walls of the small bathroom and slightly more uninhibited than Naruto normally allows himself. The seductive sound pulls Sasuke in like a siren’s call and has him diving in to suck a bruise into the curve of his lover’s neck.

The blond head tilts to the side in acquiescence, giving him room to lick up the taut expanse of his throat to whisper in his ear, “you’re so impatient. Couldn’t even wait for me to come to bed.”

That blueblueblue stares back at him in the mirror, wide-eyed with rapidly dilating pupils. Pretty pink lips open and close a few times as if trying to find words, but nothing makes it out except some harsh breaths. When Sasuke rolls his hips leisurely, he watches as the bottom lip is bitten in a poor attempt to smother another moan.

“You were certainly quite vocal just moments ago. Now you can’t even get a word out?” He punctuates his question with another press forward and a quick bite to Naruto’s shoulder.

“Fuck.. Sasuke.. I-I want…” he trails off with a small whimper when Sasuke slides his hand down into Naruto’s underwear to grasp the leaking cock hidden inside.

“You want what, Naruto?” His thumb glides across the head and he feels the precome gathering at the tip. “Your body seems to be speaking quite loudly for you, but I’d like to hear you say it.”

Naruto groans and pushes his ass back into Sasuke’s groin. “M-more. Please..I want more.”

Sasuke belatedly realizes that the sake they indulged in earlier has not affected only his lover; his own inhibitions seem to have been lowered a bit as well. He doesn’t even hesitate before pushing Naruto’s underwear down and rubbing his hand up and down the firm curve of his ass. Licks and kisses are trailed down the muscled back as he sinks to his knees and gives a firm bite to a plump asscheek.

“Oh! That’s..what are you doing?”

“Giving you more, Naruto.” His fingers dig lightly into the flesh as he parts the cheeks and licks a broad stripe over the revealed opening. His lover’s body jerks in his hold at the action, and when he does it again he hears a shaky breath of a moan.

He takes his time with the endeavor, slowly coating the hole with his saliva and completing it with the same intense focus he applies to any other task he undertakes. His hand is restless as it smooths up and down the length of Naruto’s leg, and when he finally pulls his head away, he thumbs over the spit slick opening and presses the tip inside. When he tugs at the hole and it gives resistance, he realizes this isn’t sufficient enough for him to give Naruto what he asked for.

Raising himself to his feet, he leans against the blond’s back and murmurs into his ear, “stay here. Don’t move.”

“Y-yeah. Okay..”

Sasuke presses a light kiss to a blond temple and breathes, “good.”

When he returns to the bathroom with the lube, he’s pleased to see that Naruto has indeed not moved. Well, for the most part anyway. His lover has one arm braced on the counter next to the sink and he can see the other one moving unsteadily as Naruto jerks himself off. Sasuke’s hand tightens slightly around the bottle as he takes in the other man’s debauched state. He can’t see his face as the blond head is tilted down, but as his eyes rake along the rest of his body, it’s just as sensuous a sight. Once again, his kekkei genkai records the vision as he watches a bead of sweat trail down the tan expanse of skin that is littered with a few tiny bruises put there by Sasuke’s mouth, and on the swell of his rear he sees the imprint his teeth made.

“I thought I told you not to move.” He tone is clipped, but a note of fondness slips through.

Naruto’s head shoots up to look at him in the mirror like a deer in headlights before he pouts and says lightly, “you were taking too long.”

“I was barely gone a minute, Usuratonkachi,” he scoffs, thoroughly unimpressed. He takes measured strides across the scant distance between them and places the bottle on the counter right in front of Naruto’s face. “Shall I leave you alone with this? Or will you stop that and give me a hand?”

A wolfish grin stretches across whiskered cheeks as Naruto reaches back to palm Sasuke’s erection instead. “Oh, I can give you a hand alright.”

He loses himself in the touch for a moment before remembering their original intentions. “As much as I enjoy you touching me, getting me off like this isn’t going to help you out with your request, is it?”

Naruto pauses mid-stroke and bites his lip. “Heh. No, I guess not.” When he raises a dark eyebrow and holds his hand out wordlessly, the blond is quick to grab the bottle and squirt some lube onto Sasuke’s fingers.

The alcohol has his lover relaxed and pliant around his finger when he pushes the first inside. He pumps it in and out a few times before adding a second, and after loosening him a bit, a third. Naruto is pushing back into his hand eagerly while releasing tiny moans that he is halfheartedly trying to contain. After making sure the blond is sufficiently prepared, he leans forward and murmurs in his ear, “you good?”

“Fuck yes. Get in me already.”

Sasuke removes his fingers and gives the curve of Naruto’s ass a light slap. “Patience is a virtue. Put a bit more in my hand.” Naruto is quick to comply and Sasuke coats his erection with it before guiding himself into that tight heat. Just as always when they’re connected like this it’s fire and lightning, and he scrapes his teeth along the taut line of that tan throat when his lover tightens around him once he’s bottomed out. “Fuck.. you feel amazing.”

“Mmm.. you too, Sasuke.” Naruto rolls his hips and urges, “cmon. Keep going.” He huffs a laugh and smirks at the blond’s reflection. Blueblueblue is shining back at him challengingly above a wide impish grin. He pulls his hips away and shoves back in harshly causing Naruto to shout an obscenity as he scrambles to brace himself on the counter. “Oh god. Do that again.”

Digging his fingers into the flesh of his lover’s waist, Sasuke acquiesces and repeats the action. “Like this?”

A warbling moan leaves pink lips and the passage around him spasms as he goes to do it a third time. And a fourth. And right as he does it a fifth time, “yes! Yes, just like that!” So Sasuke keeps going. Again and again. Rough, powerful thrusts in and out, hitting that spot inside his lover that makes him shout and moan and cry out for moremoremore. On a particularly deep plunge, Naruto tosses his head back against Sasuke’s shoulder and whimpers brokenly, “please, Sasuke..”

When he lifts his eyes from his spot devouring Naruto’s neck, the sight in the mirror is glorious. Wild blond hair is sticking to the sides of flushed, whiskered cheeks; blueblueblue is eclipsed by black and glassy with the beginnings of tears; panting breaths are being released through wet, rosy lips; a tan hand is buried in his own dark locks, holding him close and nearly too-tight with its hold. Without pausing the movements of his hips, Sasuke smoothes his hand up along Naruto’s side and curls it around to fondle a pert nipple. With his lips pressed against his lover’s throat, he feels the vibration of another beautiful moan. “Look at you.” He nips at the skin covering a pounding pulse and bids, “look at how gorgeous you are when you fall apart like this for me.”

Wide open eyes stare back at him and when Naruto finally blinks, a single tear breaks free and trails down his face. “S-Sas’ke…”

Unrelenting in his pace, he keeps moving in and out of his lover aggressively, chasing his own high as he asks, “can you come like this, Naruto? Can you come undone with nothing but the feel of my cock inside you?”

A sweaty palm makes contact with his hip, urging Sasuke’s motions as Naruto wets his lips and whispers breathlessly, “yeah, probably. Just.. a bit faster.”

“Sure.” Sasuke can feel his own heart beating erratically, his breathing labored, as he does his best to quicken his thrusts. He is rapidly unraveling and the promise of Naruto coming untouched is doing nothing but speeding up his inevitable end. He wraps his arm around his lover’s chest for some form of traction in his venture and uses every shred of his dwindling control to make sure Naruto comes first.

Keeping his eyes on the picture of perfection in the mirror, he digs his teeth into the juncture of the blond’s neck in an attempt to smother a loud groan. That seems to be all that is needed, as Naruto wails and comes all over his stomach until it’s dripping onto the counter.

He falls forward into the mess limply when Sasuke releases his hold on him in favor of dragging his hand down to grab his hip. He gives two more well measured thrusts before pulling out and releasing all over Naruto’s back, stroking himself slowly through the pleasure. He tells himself that it’s because they have already bathed and he wants the cleanup to go smoother, but he knows it’s really that deep seated wish to see his cum coating his lover’s lithe tan skin. Ears ringing, heart pounding, legs quivering, Sasuke stares down at the mess covering the small of Naruto’s back and reaches out to fingerpaint it across his ass in fascination.

“What are you doing, Teme?”

He blinks away the Sharingan and meets tired blueblueblue in the mirror. “Nothing.”

There’s an amused tilt to pink lips as his lover pushes himself off the counter and turns around. “Nothing, huh?”

He frowns at apparently being found out and unintentionally smears some of his cum across a whiskered cheek when he shoves the smiling face away. His spent cock gives a valiant twitch at the sight, but Sasuke simply turns to grab a washcloth from the shelf to the right of the sink and hands it to Naruto before grabbing one for himself. “Clean up your mess, Usuratonkachi.”

“Only if you clean up yours.”

With fond exasperation, he wets the cloth and gently wipes Naruto’s face before leaning forward to kiss him softly. “Now turn around.” He does so without further comment, and they finish cleaning before making their way to the bed.

Tipsy and sated, he lays on his back and holds out his arm. Taking the invitation for what it is, Naruto curls up against him like a sleepy cat after pulling the blanket to cover their bodies. The way the other man is sprawled more on top of him than he is on the actual bed is a bit too much for Sasuke’s already overheated body, but he’s too tired and comfortable to do much about it. Instead, he simply threads his fingers through damp blond hair and draws him in for a lazy kiss.

When they break apart, Naruto nuzzles into his neck and sighs happily. “I had a really awesome time at the festival today.” Sasuke has his eyes closed and mumbles an agreement around a yawn. The physical exertion and the sedative effects of the alcohol are catching up to him and he feels himself slowly but surely drifting towards sleep. Naruto sounds far more sober now than Sasuke himself feels, surely the work of the tailed beast inside him, but there’s still lethargy in his voice when he continues. “The sex was pretty great too.”

Pressing a gentle kiss into blond hair, he wraps his arm around a shoulder to hold him close and whispers tiredly, “you certainly sounded like you were enjoying it.”

There’s a light smack to his chest before a hissed, “Shut up, Teme! That was the sake’s fault!”

“Maybe I should get you drunk more often then. I like making you scream.”

An indignant squawk is his response and Sasuke feels his lips tilt into a pleased smirk. Despite being loud in every other aspect of his life, Naruto tends to do his best to smother his pleasured noises when they’re intimate, and getting his lover to break that barrier made Sasuke feel extremely gratified. The fleeting thought that he’s sure the inn walls aren’t thick enough to muffle the sounds has him briefly concerned, but it’s not enough to quell the urge to make it happen again.

“You’re such a pervert. Writing porn and saying such things.”

He lets the porn comment slide because yeah, despite his reluctance to call it that, it’s basically what it was. However, “you’re the one who was feeling me up when I was brushing my teeth.”

A warm palm slides up and down his side as Naruto mumbles, “not my fault you’re hot.”

“Not my fault you’re loud.”

A huff of a breath hits his neck when Naruto scoffs, “whatever.”

Another yawn escapes as Sasuke feels slumber pulling harder at him. Pressing one last kiss to the top of his lover’s head he whispers, “happy New Year, Naruto.”

Just before sleep finally claims him, he feels the grin against his skin as Naruto mumbles, “the happiest.”

——————

They wake to watch the first sunrise of the year together, sitting on the same hill where they watched the fireworks and holding hands in silence. The sky is painted in shades of gold as the sun breaks past the horizon in front of them. It’s a beautiful sight to behold, but Sasuke thinks it pales in comparison to the sun beside him.

The rest of the day is spent exploring parts of the festival that they weren’t able to before, enjoying all the various foods the town provides and competing once again at some games. The shrine dedicated to the local deity is crowded when they make their way to where it’s situated, but eventually Sasuke and Naruto are standing and bowing with a quiet prayer before selecting a fortune each.

“Everything that was first a dream, pursue it and it will become a reality,” Naruto reads off the paper in his hands. A wide grin stretches his features as he turns to Sasuke and waves it in front of his face. “Hear that? My dreams will come true!”

“I have no doubt about that.”

Naruto flushes a bit at his sentiment before shaking his head and urging, “cmon. What’s written on yours?”

Deftly unfolding it, Sasuke glances down and reads it swiftly before looking back at Naruto blankly. “Mine’s already become true.”

He releases the paper when an eager hand reaches for it. “West.” Naruto flips it over, undoubtedly searching for more to such a succinct fortune. “That’s it? Just a direction? Lame. We’ve already decided on that anyway. Though it is kinda cool it’s the one we picked, ya know?”

“I suppose.”

Naruto frowns at his bored tone and puts his hands on his hips. “Fortunes are serious business, bastard. Don’t be so gloomy about it.”

A dark eyebrow rises as Sasuke looks at him unimpressed. “There’s absolutely nothing serious about it. It’s just a silly holiday tradition.”

“You’re such a pessimist. Lucky you have me to bring some positivity to your life.”

“Among other things.” Sasuke looks at him with half lidded eyes and a smirk.

“Gah. There you go again with the pervy stuff!”

“I said nothing of the sort.”

An accusatory finger jabs him in the chest. “You were thinking it though, weren’t you?”

A simple shrug is the only answer Sasuke deigns him with before turning on his heel and saying over his shoulder, “let’s go get some dinner.”

An arm is flung over his shoulder as Naruto catches up to him and implores, “ramen?” When Sasuke glances at him with a mild frown, he adds with puppy eyes, “please?”

“Tch. Fine.” A small smile tugs his lips when the blond throws his arms in the air with a whoop of joy before tugging him off to the closest ramen stall.

Between bites of noodles and sips of broth, Naruto is busy talking his ear off about the latest letter he received. Sasuke is only half paying attention, but enough to know it was from Iruka-sensei and about the new orphanage Konoha has just finished building. Though he’s pretty pissed it took them this long to actually make such a thing, he’s just glad that from now on orphaned children in that village won’t have to go through what he and Naruto did.

As Naruto finishes up his story and his third bowl, he looks up at him and smiles. “Hey. So we’re going west right?” At Sasuke’s answering hum, he continues, “Suna is west, ya know?”

“I’m aware.”

“So I was hoping we could maybe go there next. I haven’t seen Gaara in awhile and it’d be nice to stop by.”

The thought of the red haired sand user brings a small frown to his face. He and the Kazekage have never exactly seen eye to eye, though they’ve been cordial the few times Sasuke has seen him since the war. Doesn’t mean he’s exactly excited to spend the kind of time with him that Naruto surely will. The other man must sense his reluctance, as he rubs the back of his head and sits back on his stool seemingly resigned to a rejection to his request. They did decide to go west though, and Suna is indeed in that direction. Surely a simple visit couldn’t be that bad if it will bring the smile back to Naruto’s face.

With a mildly displeased sigh, Sasuke stands and motions for Naruto to follow. “You’d better write and send a letter to let him know we’re on our way.”

“Yeah? We can go then?”

Sasuke leads the way back towards their inn and says, “Sure.” When he glances to his left Naruto is grinning brightly again, and that is all he needs to know he made the right decision.

As soon as they make it back to their room, Naruto almost immediately pulls out a scroll and pen to get started on his letter to the Kazekage. He sits at the low table in the corner, hunched over as he begins writing and Sasuke can’t help but to admire him in the evening light streaming through the window. There’s a concentrated furrow to the blond’s brow as he undoubtedly tries his best to make the letter legible. Sasuke is very familiar with Naruto’s messy handwriting after all the letters they have exchanged over the years and knows that the scrawl on this one will be no different. Grabbing his journal, he takes a seat across from Naruto and opens it to begin another entry.

———

We’re going to Suna next. I’m not exactly thrilled about it but Naruto seems to be excited so I suppose that’s all that matters. Ugh. The fact that I’ll do almost anything to keep the smile on his face.. this moron has turned me into such a fucking sap.

The last time I saw Gaara was about a year ago when a diplomatic visit to Konoha coincided with part of my own. I arrived the day before the Suna delegation was set to depart, and Naruto insisted I go to a meal with him and the Kazekage. I didn’t notice it at the time, but looking back on it I’m almost positive that Gaara feels some type of love towards my Naruto. The lingering looks, the gentle way he accepted a goodbye hug.. it rubbed me the wrong way. I obviously didn’t know exactly how strongly I felt for Naruto back then, but I’ve always felt a sort of.. possession towards my best friend. And now I fear it’s only gotten worse. He’s mine and I’m pretty certain he feels the same. We belong to each other and surely no one else can come between us. I won’t let anyone do so. Especially not the damn Kazekage.

I hold nothing against him per se, after all it was I who tried to kill him years ago at that Kage Summit in the Land of Iron. Embroiled in all the hatred and darkness consuming my heart, I was unwilling to let anything or anyone stop me in my quest for revenge. I was unable to accept the truth the Kazekage was trying to tell me that day, that I should be able to see a glimmer of light. I refused to see it then, but I eventually found it; or rather was found by it. Naruto is that light. He always has been.

———

Sasuke stops writing when he senses eyes on him, and he glances up to see blueblueblue looking at him patiently. Well, as patiently as Naruto is able to anyway. His leg is bouncing up and down and he’s biting his lip like he’s trying to keep himself from disturbing the silence. Placing his pencil in the book and closing it, Sasuke raises a brow and asks, “you finished?”

A large grin beams at him as Naruto nods his head quickly and holds it up. “Yep! Do you think we could use one of your hawks to deliver it? My frogs don’t do too well traveling through the desert.”

“Sure.” He summons a messenger hawk and watches as the blond ties the letter to its leg. Walking to the window and opening it, he gives directions to the bird and it immediately flies off in the correct direction. “Should be there within the next day or so.”

“Awesome!” When Sasuke turns around after shutting the window to keep the cool weather at bay, Naruto grabs his hand and tugs him towards the bathroom. “Let’s get cleaned up and ready for bed. I wanna get an early start tomorrow.”

A dark eyebrow raises in surprise. “You never want to get an early start.”

“Yeah, well I’m excited, Teme.”

Sasuke starts shedding his clothes for a shower and watches out of the corner of his eye while Naruto does the same. No matter how many times he’s seen his lover naked, it never fails to be a glorious sight. All that smooth unblemished skin on display for him and him alone. When the blond reaches to turn on the spigot, Sasuke sidles up behind him and runs his hand down the length of muscled back to land on his hip. He massages the skin for a moment as he presses forward and when he comes in contact with Naruto, he hears a snort of a laugh.

“You’re excited too I see.”

Leaning in to run a few kisses up the side of Naruto’s neck, he mumbles distractedly, “for entirely different reasons, Usuratonkachi.”

The other man grabs his now wandering hand and turns to get under the spray. “Yeah well, I’m still a bit sore from last night. You really did a number on me.”

He follows into the shower stall and crowds his space again. “You certainly weren’t complaining then. In fact, you quite literally asked for it.”

“That.. that’s besides the point, Teme!” Despite his halfhearted protests, Naruto tilts his head to the side in acquiescence to Sasuke’s ministrations.

Making his way up to a flushed ear, he whispers, “there’s plenty else we can do that doesn’t involve me fucking you, Naruto.”

A pleased moan rings out when Sasuke wraps his hand around his lover’s hardened cock. “Yeah.. yeah you’re right.”

“I usually am.”

Naruto wraps his arms around his shoulders and presses forward into his hold. “There’s been plenty of times you haven’t been, ya know.”

Taking a slightly rough hold of blond hair, he pulls him in for a kiss and breathes against his lips, “just shut up and come here.”

“Yeah, okay.”