Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ashton Ketcher knows exactly 5 things for certain about his new co-star, Gou:

1— He’s a fantastic actor and improv-artist.

2— He’s a huge fan of all things Pokémon: The show, the cards, and the games.

3— He’s notoriously bad at taking compliments, often deflecting praise or humbly honoring the crew around him instead.

4— He has no idea Ashton Ketcher, renowned superstar of the Pokémon TV series, had a front row seat to his Little Broadway Blackbox performance last year. Ash was just another audience member in the dark— an anonymous note on a rose, signed: Your new biggest fan.

…and, 5— Ever since that incognito encounter, Gou's tawny complexion, dark hair, bright blue eyes, long eyelashes, and pleasant, mellow timbre have been haunting Ashton’s dreams.

—

Okay, so, Ashton might have a ridiculous (tiny!) crush on Gou.

He really shouldn’t.

First off: Gou doesn’t even know him— Well, Gou knows of him, but that’s not the same.

As an international celebrity, Ashton is no stranger to the concept of parasocial relationships. He's well aware of the discomforting phenomenon, having been on the receiving end of hundreds of thousands of obsessive strangers investing their emotions in him— confessing their love and hoping for some sort of reaction in return.

It's weird to fall head over heels for someone through a screen, knowing little to nothing of who they really are.

And yet— that’s exactly what‘s happening to him.

Ash shouldn’t be scrolling through Gou’s socials every time he gets lonely, entertaining all the ways he can imagine their lives fitting together.

He shouldn’t be fantasizing about Gou in broad daylight, looping Gou’s performance in his head like a song on repeat.

He shouldn’t be thinking of Gou’s piercing blue eyes as he lays in bed, or dreaming about the way Gou’s cheeks tint red when he feels touched.

And he especially shouldn’t keep entertaining this (absurd!) one-sided crush, because he and Gou are about to be—

No, as of today, they officially are co-stars.

—

Month 1 - November

—

Ashton can’t fall for his co-star. There’s no way he’s going to make that rookie mistake.

(…again.)

Early memories of Ashton's doomed relationship with his first co-star, Garrett, flicker through his head: Their rising tensions on and off the set— Their explosive fight outside the Sinnoh Season Wrap Party— All their giggly make-out trysts in Gary’s trailer. And the most embarrassing memory of all: his ears blushing pink as he lied to his makeup artist, insisting the suspicious bruise on his neck was nothing. All the while, the unrepentant culprit failed to stifle a fit of laughter from across the green room.

Thankfully, no one on set ever had any proof to bust them, and the paparazzi blitz never managed to catch them, either. The number of times they narrowly avoided a worldwide scandal is honestly miraculous.

Ash rubs his temples with a groan, cursing his naive past self for letting Gary’s charms get the best of him.

No— He’ll never let anything like that happen again.

After all, Gou is nothing like his ex. Gou’s not an obnoxious, smug, big-headed serial monogamist who revels in limelight and the spoils of child-stardom.

(Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh— Gary’s not a bad person…) (But he’s annoying as hell)

No, no, no… Gou’s behavior falls somewhere between ”regular teenager” and “humble professional.” While Garrett’s busy flooding his followers with thirst traps and flirty baits for attention, Gou’s posts @gou-fficial are mostly behind-the-scenes content of his productions with occasional selfies in his character costumes.

Gou’s comments are infrequent, but always positive— congratulating other actors, admiring art, or earnestly gushing about works that moved him. He makes personal posts about Pokémon, too, like reviews of episodes he loved, exciting cards he pulled, or screenshots of his ever-growing Shiny collection.

Throughout the year Ashton spent periodically lurking on Gou’s account (He had to! He couldn’t just follow Gou from his public profile!), he noticed Gou often liked posts from Koko and Mumu’s accounts, so he must be a big Team Rocket fan.

Ash is chuffed to learn Gou also follows him, and a handful of the other cast, but not Gary.

He's pretty sure Gou’s favorite Pokémon is Ditto. Or is it Team Rocket’s Meowth? Gou appears to have a big soft spot for Sobble as well. It’s difficult to determine any of Gou’s favorites, since the Pokémon lover gets excited about so many different Pokémon.

Sometimes, Ash is so tempted to just ask. He likes to imagine how Gou might react to Ashton Ketcher's verified account in his DMs, like, Hey! I'm actually a huge fan of YOU, and I was just wondering: Who’s your favorite Pokémon? P.S.— I think you're really cute, do you wanna go on a date with me sometime?  ◠‿◠ ♡☆

(But that would be crazy)

(And, besides, it’s far too late for that now.)

The more time Ash spent pseudo-following Gou, the more he found himself growing strangely envious of Gou's unassuming life— he gets to enjoy being a part-time actor while still attending school and playing Pokémon in his free time, like any other teenager.

A lot of people wish they could enjoy the luxuries of being a celebrity, but it comes with serious costs, too. Ashton will probably never fully understand how it feels to be a normal teenager. So much of his day-to-day is spent on film, traveling with a security team, dodging probing interview questions, wincing at random camera flashes and stopping to pose for screaming fans.

Ash can’t date like a normal person, either. You'd think a celebrity like him should have no problem meeting bachelors and falling in love, but it actually makes things a thousand times more complicated.

Everyone already thinks they know who he is. So many fellow stars end up approaching him with selfish intentions, clearly seeking to use him, furthering their own fames and opportunities. If he wanted to date outside of his Hollywood bubble, he'd have to weed out any wacko fanatics that idolize him. His manager would probably make any potential date of his sign an NDA. And even then, it’s really difficult to actually trust anyone with any of his secrets— (At least Gary could be trusted with that much)

Ashton wasn’t always so cynical. Deep down, he’s actually a huge romantic; he wants to experience life to the fullest, fall in love, maybe even have a family some day. Having his heart turn to jade won’t help with any of that. But that’s just what starts to happen when so many people keep treating him like a prize or a collab instead of a person.

He often confides in the studio's therapist, Mx. Turo, about the frustrations he feels surrounding romance and his identity. He's mentioned Gou a few times, now-- just not by name. Even if his therapist is sworn to patient confidentiality, Ash doesn't plan on dropping that detail anytime soon.

Mx. Turo— or Mx. Tee, as Ashton often calls them— suggested that, perhaps, he's been so fixated with his (Little!) (Inconsequential!) crush on Gou, because it’s simpler to pine for a guy from afar and live vicariously through snapshots of his beautifully normal life than it is to actually pursue anything real.

Gou is the only secret that’s truly his— truly safe. Ash can daydream about those pretty blue eyes all he wants without some sleazy tabloid journalist leaping at the chance to out him.

And maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but Ash’s senses tell him Gou isn’t interested in girls, either. He loves theatre, costuming, and all of Koko and Mumu’s drag queen photos. He tends to favor cute, sensitive Pokémon like Sobble, Cubone, Togepi, Jigglypuff, or Litten. He doesn’t carry himself with the kind of masculine bravado or cocky attitude Ash has come to expect from other actors their age— he’s just… Gou.

And he’s been single all year long, too, if his social media content is any indication.

But wait— can Ash really be certain Gou’s single? What if he just happens to keep those details of his life private? What if he dates guys and girls at school all the time? What if he’s dating someone in secret?

With a start, Ashton remembers he wasn’t the only one who gave Gou a rose that night... Gou met a friend there— a friend who showered him in praises, calling himself Gou’s number one fan.

What if they’re together? What if, all this time, Gou’s been in love with that guy?

Even if he isn’t… now that Gou’s about to become famous—

Snapping out of his tangential spiral, Ashton steps into his trailer, pacing in circles as he pulls up the newest contact in his phone. He snagged Gou’s number from the callback sheet while the director and line-producer were busy in another room.

(Is that weird?) (Yes) (Goddammit)

He was hoping he might get to be the first person to congratulate Gou.

Or maybe he just wants an excuse to hear Gou’s voice.

Out of all the audition finalists, Ash was obviously rooting for Gou to come out on top, since he knows how much Gou cares about Pokémon and his future career. But he hadn’t fully processed the consequences of Gou actually becoming his co-star until this very moment. He’s actually about to speak to Gou for the first time.

Deep down, Ash knows he needs to pull the plug on this crush. For a multitude of aforementioned reasons. It’s hard to let go, but he has to.

After this call, the illusion of Gou that’s been living rent-free in his head— the Gou he’s spent all these months pining for— will finally break. (Right…?) He needs to meet the real Gou and move on, for both their sakes.

He stares down at Gou’s number, heart racing, hands sweating. Before he can change his mind, Ash hits the call button and waits nervously as the line rings five times.

“…Hello…?”

He recognizes Gou’s voice, but it sounds small— dazed and confused.

“Hi, Gou?“ Ash straightens up, struggling to keep his voice even. Has Ash ever been this nervous to deliver a line so simple? “This is Ash Ketcher.”

Ash winces a little as a loud rustling sound meets his ears. It sort of sounds like Gou dropped his phone into a blender. “Uh…I heard you officially got the part! I wanted to call to say congrats.“

The superstar lays back on the couch in his trailer with a big smile, expecting to hear the rising star’s euphoric reaction any second now. The first time he spoke to his Unova Season co-star, Iris, she nearly squealed his ears off. His Sinnoh Season co-star Dawn burst into joyous sobs.

And Ash has a vivid memory of his first conversation with Todd, a boy so excited to meet him, he couldn’t stop babbling about how much he loved Ashton, and Pokémon, and Acting, and being an actor on Pokémon with Ashton, and he couldn’t wait to tell all his friends… Ash wonders if Gou might react the same way.

Instead, there’s a long pause before Gou finally says, “Are you— actually— Ashton—?”

Hearing Gou say his name, Ashton’s heart skips. He sounds totally floored. “Hah, You just got the news, huh? Don’t worry, the shock will wear off soon.”

“I- uh- yeah—“ Gou murmurs, the receiver barely picking up his voice. “Sorry. This doesn’t— feel… real…”

Ash nibbles his bottom lip, feeling kind of guilty. Gou clearly hasn’t processed what’s happening yet... Maybe Ash was a little too eager to call.

Keeping his voice lighthearted, Ash says, “I get it. Hey, make sure to celebrate tonight. You’ve earned it.” When Gou doesn’t respond, he adds, “And don’t tell me you haven’t. I saw your audition. You were awesome.”

He knows Gou is bad at taking compliments, but he can’t help it. Gou deserves to know.

“Uh? Ohh. Um. Thank you, uh, Ashton—“

Ash smiles again. Feeling no need for formalities, he responds, “Just Ash.”

“Ash! I’m sorry—“ Gou’s voice trembles like he’s scared, and Ash’s smile falters. Is he being too much, calling his new co-star out of the blue like this? Gou sounds far too overwhelmed to talk right now.

Trying to reassure Gou, Ash says, “It’s cool—“ But just then, a PA raps on his trailer door, shouting loudly for him to join the next photoshoot, and he sighs under his breath. “Ah, I gotta go—“ With a small smile, he chimes, “I’ll meet you on the set soon, okay?”

“Sh…sure! Have a good one, Ash,” Gou stammers.

“You too. See you, Gou!”

Ash’s phone bleeps as he hangs up, dropping it on the couch beside him. Taking a deep breath, he grabs the nearest pillow and screams all the air in his lungs into it.

His therapist taught him lots of tips and tricks for managing his nerves, but right now, Ash just needs to scream.

Still feeling jittery, he stands up, shaking the anxious energy out of his shoulders and slapping his cheeks. They feel warm under his fingers, and Ash is a little startled to realize he’s genuinely blushing.

Okay, he has to admit— he might have more than just a tiny crush on Gou.

—

Month 2 - December

—

4 weeks later, Ash is officially ready to meet Gou at the studio.

He stands just inside the welcome center, early, swaying nervously on his feet as he waits for his crush co-star to arrive. Thankfully, Gou is punctual— (Yet another differing trait from Gary, Ash notes) —and the moment Gou’s eyes lock with his from across the foyer, Ash feels that same breathless sensation as the night he first laid eyes on him.

Gou looks away just as quickly, politely waving to his welcoming crew and shaking their hands.

Both boys stand back as Gou’s parents meet and greet with Ash’s agent and the Line Producer. Gou listens very intently as the adults all discuss what Gou can expect on day one of filming, directions to his trailer, hair and makeup, studio resources, further paperwork, and yadda, yadda, yadda… Throughout the mini-orientation, Ash keeps stealing looks at the newcomer, but he’s apparently too focused on all the boring details of his new job to spare him another glance.

When Ash finally catches his eyes, they widen just a fraction before quickly flicking down at his hands. His fingers keep subtly moving against something in his hand with anxious, repetitive motions, and that’s when Ash notices a small fidget charm on his phone shaped like a pokeball. Gou’s cheeks start tinting ever-so-slightly red, and Ash‘s heart skips as he realizes the boy is pointedly avoiding Ash’s eyes.

Gou is nervous.

Who can blame him? The junior actor’s never been part of a crew this robust. Now he’s joining his favorite show, from his favorite franchise, standing about 4 yards away from the main character. (No big deal.)

“— on to introductions? Ashton? …Gou?” Ash’s agent steps aside, gesturing between them, and both boys promptly blink back into the conversation.

Snapping to attention, Gou bows apologetically. “Hi, Ash,” he says, remembering his co-star’s preference. His eyes flick up again as he adjusts the bridge of his big, rounded glasses. How did Ash not know he wears glasses? They make his face look even cuter. (Dammit, Ash, Gou’s talking. Pay attention.) “— It’s such a privilege to meet you— I’m really looking forward to working together.”

Ash gets the sense Gou is reciting a carefully practiced script as he watches Ash expectantly, bracing for a reply.

“Thanks, Gou. It’s an honor to meet you, too!” Ash responds earnestly, holding out a hand to his fellow actor. Gou smiles nervously and laughs like Ash made a good joke. “I mean it!”

As they shake hands, Ash has to remind himself, repeatedly, like a mantra: They’re co-stars, now. Just co-stars.

The LP starts to lead Gou’s parents away as she says, “Ash, would you like to show Gou around the set while we take care of some paperwork?”

“Leave it to me!” Ash answers chipperly, beckoning Gou to follow him. Gou casts one last nervous glance at his mom, who just responds with a dusting wave of her hand. Behind her, his dad flashes him two goofy thumbs up. Officially dismissed, Gou turns rigidly, falling into step several paces behind Ash as he leads them toward the main set.

Throughout the tour, Ash keeps catching Gou staring at him with those wide, bright eyes. Ash can’t help but tease him. “Is there something on my face…?”

The superfan instantly blushes red. “Sorry!! I didn’t mean to stare, I was just– I always wondered what was on your cheeks…” he answers, his gaze still fixated on Ash’s face.

“Huh…?“ Ash wasn’t expecting that answer. “Oh! These?” Pokemon’s poster child bursts out laughing, wiping one of the lightning bolts off his cheeks. “They’re just temp tats. I was doing a photoshoot earlier.”

Fully turning away, Gou clearly pretends to admire the set design around him, and Ash grins. “Oh!! Yeah! Of course! That…that makes total sense…”

Gou is a lot different than Ash expected him to be.

For one thing, he’s painfully shy. After that stunning performance on Little Broadway, Ash just assumed Gou would be shining with confidence. But as he stands next to Gou now, he only sees a blushing boy, struggling to make conversation and meet Ash’s eyes. Ash wonders: (Does he always behave this way with strangers? Or just the ultra famous superstar ones?)

Even so, Ash can tell his heart is kind, and, eye-contact or not, Gou shows respect and consideration to everyone he meets, from the production assistants to their lead director.

“This is Ms. Delia! We all call her Ms. Dee,” Ash explains, and Gou nods.

“Hi, Gou!” Ms. Dee sings casually, grasping their handshake with both of her hands. “It’s such a pleasure to meet you.”

“Thank you— Thank you so much. I can’t thank you enough. For having me here,” Gou rambles, “I promise I’m going to do my best!”

Ms. Dee chuckles at Gou’s endearing earnesty. “I’m looking forward to it! Please let me know if you have any concerns or questions. I know this’ll be quite a transition for you, so you can let me or Ash or any of our PAs know if there’s anything you need help with.”

Gou just hums an affirmative as he nods, fidgeting with his charm again.

Seeing Gou’s nervous energy starting to spike around the director, Ash steps in to usher him away. “We’re going to the guest museum, next!”

“Yay— Have fun!” Ms. Dee calls, “I’ll see you two again soon!”

—

Ash knew Gou was a big fan of Pokemon, but he’s starting to realize Gou is one of those super fans who knows every episode, every game, every Pokemon.

He notices the way Gou’s eyes light up around the Pokemon Studio Guest Museum before checking uncertainly back at Ash, like he’s trying to hold back how excited he really is. When Gou fails to stifle an honest-to-god squeal of joy upon seeing the original Team Rocket air balloon, he tries to cover it up, clearing his throat.

Ash turns around and pretends he didn’t hear anything, but he can’t stop grinning.

Gou stops to stare reverently at their huge Pokemon mural, his eyes sparkling, gently running his fingers over the paint strokes. Ash watches Gou as he says, “You wanna selfie with the mural behind us?”

This startles Gou out of his art-admiring trance. “Oh, uh, sure…I mean, yeah, that sounds great!” He smiles, but Ash can sense something almost akin to panic brewing in his eyes when Ash steps close beside him.

“It’s okay, my moveset doesn’t come with ‘Bite’,” Ash banters.

Gou takes a second to process Ash’s nerdy joke before a genuine laugh springs out of him. Ashton realizes he’s making Gou laugh for the first time, and it lights something up inside his chest.

The Pokémon enthusiast smiles as he asks, “Do you know Intimidate? Or Scary Face?”

Ash smirks. That’s the first thing he’s heard Gou say that wasn’t just a formality. He hums, leaning back on the wall. “Hmm, I do, but don’t worry, I won’t use those on you.”

“That’s a relief,” Gou murmurs, pulling out his phone to turn it on. The small smile on his lips looks like the real Gou starting to shine through, like a sliver of moonlight glowing through heavy clouds.

(Oh goddammit, Ash) (This is not the time to wax poetically)

Ash looks down, catching a glimpse of Gou’s lockscreen: dozens of pink and purple Dittos stacked on top of each other. He’s about to ask Gou if that's his favorite Pokémon when the phone suddenly starts vibrating incessantly, flooding his screen with comments.

The upcoming star just whispers, “Whoa,” captivated by the notifications.

(Oh no.)

Ash sighs under his breath as he realizes what happened. The Studio’s social media team must have made the casting announcement this morning, with no warning to Gou. Millions of people are gonna see it and flock to Gou’s page.

Ash crosses his arms as he leans over and looks up at Gou, who glances back at him with a mystified expression before his eyes find the numbers again.

“Guess they made the announcement!” Ash smiles sympathetically. “I wish they’d give us a heads up about this stuff.”

Gou doesn’t respond as he stares at his phone, scrolling through an endless barrage of comments. Ash chews on his lip as Gou clearly gets lost in the notifications. He doesn’t want to overstep, but when Gou frowns and taps on one of the comments, Ash decides it’s time to cut in, whisking Gou’s phone away.

“Wh—?“

“Don’t read the comments.”

“But—”

“Just trust me,” Ash mutters, his gaze momentarily glazing over with flashbacks to all the rotting comment sections he’s been subjected to over the years. When he realizes Gou is staring at him in concern, he shakes it off with a perfect smile, holding Gou’s phone up for a selfie. “C’mon.”

He steps closer, resting his hand across Gou’s upper back. Gou smiles softly and leans in for the picture, but his hand just hovers behind Ash, like he’s not sure he has permission to touch him. Snap.

When Gou reaches for his phone again, Ash steps back and smiles at the surprised look on his face. “Nuh-uh. I’m confiscating this. We still have a tour to finish.”

His new co-star’s mouth opens to argue before his jaw ticks shut in a pout of slightly irritated compliance. (His face looks really cute like that.)

Figuring Gou could use a mood boost, Ash chimes, “C’mon!” and leads him away to the costume warehouse where they keep all their iconic props and set pieces. “There’s tons of fun stuff in here. A lot of Team Rocket’s old disguises are kept here.”

“Oh, cool! I remember these dresses!!” Gou covers his smile with both hands. Looking back at Ash for clearance to touch the racks, he asks, “Can I…?”

“Yeah, man,” Ash laughs, already grabbing a fluffy boa and tossing it around Gou’s shoulders.

The big, white feathers tickle Gou’s face, making him giggle, and Ash nearly clutches his heart on the spot. The pining boy turns instead, grabbing the nearest mask— an ostentatious masquerade piece— to hide his warming cheeks.

Gou finally starts to unwind, grinning back at Ash as he turns it into a game, grabbing all sorts of funny props, hats, wigs, coats, and tearaway dresses. They try to see who can come up with the most ridiculous combination of accessories, and by the end of it, they’re both in stitches. Ash finds it interesting how shy Gou was just an hour ago, compared to now, laughing freely as he dons a long, feminine wig. 

As Gou is carefully putting everything back where he found it, he stops to stare at a collection of Ash’s cap designs throughout the series. Ash smiles and tosses the original hat at Gou, and the startled boy barely catches it before it can topple to the floor. From the self-horrified look on his face, you’d think he almost fumbled an ancient piece of treasure.

“Go ahead, try it on.” Ash smiles, looking forward to his reaction.

“Okay,” Gou turns to face one of the floor length mirrors, tugging it onto his crown and adjusting the brim. And… For a long moment, Gou just stares at his reflection in total impassive silence, his expression revealing nothing of his thoughts.

Ash watches him carefully. “Wanna take another picture?” He asks, already holding up Gou’s phone. It’s still unlocked, so when Ash goes to pull up the camera, he accidentally catches a flash of the last tab Gou had open— the comment he‘d tapped earlier.

Are they just handing out these roles to anyone now?

Ash’s heart skips in that split second, realizing Gou read those hateful words.

Gou’s eyes snap away from the mirror. Reacting quickly, he tugs the hat off his head and reaches out to block the camera with his hand. “No, thanks, I’m good—” he answers with a smile, gently handing the hat back to Ash.

Noticing the shift in Gou’s demeanor, Ash asks, “What’s up?”

With a nervous titter, Gou shakes his head. As he readjusts his glasses, he says, “It’s nothing.”

Ash frowns. There’s clearly something going on here, but he needs Gou to communicate with him. “No, something’s wrong. Spill it.”

Gou looks back at him with wide eyes, his smile faltering. “Aha… Ahh, uhh, it’s— I just…” He stalls, obviously fumbling for an excuse. Realizing he can’t fool Ash, his eyes turn downcast, and he murmurs, “I just don’t understand, that’s all.”

“Understand what?” Ash presses. Gou’s sudden moodswing is starting to make Ash’s heart feel unsettled.

“…How I even got here?” Gou smiles, trying to sound light hearted, but he’s clearly in pain. The anxious actor turns back around to the prop table, fanning his fingers up the vane of a feathered hat.

They’re both quiet for a long moment as Ash processes that.

Then Ash confidently answers, “Well, first, you qualified for the auditions thanks to your résumé and demo reel, which impressed our recruiters. Then you were invited to audition; You memorized your lines and performed incredibly well, impressing our casting director and his team. Our head director saw your tapes, and she and I chose you out of 20 finalists.”

At this, Gou’s eyes momentarily snap up at him in shock, and Ash just smiles.

“Our scouts took note of how you treated others during auditions, from your competition to the PAs. And, unlike a lot of guys in this industry: you’re kind, humble, and you show respect to those around you, even if you’re a bit shy. Beside all that, you’re a huge fan of the show, and I can tell we’re gonna get along just fine.” Ash steps closer, leaning into Gou’s line of sight with a quick wink. “Does that answer your question?”

Gou is speechless, staring back at Ash like he can’t believe he’s real. He starts to mumble something else as Ash just reaches up and flicks at the tension between his brows. “Ow!”

“You belong here with me,” Ash says with a smile, “Get used to it.”

His smile widens as a blush seeps through Gou’s cheeks.

Turning on his heels, Ash skips around the prop table toward the exit, dragging Gou after him. “Anyway— C’mon, you still haven’t seen the, uh… the cafeteria! You’ve gotta try the cinnamon rolls.”

Gou smiles, a little strained, but still lighter than before. “Do they make Poffins?”

Ash gasps under his breath as he stops dead in his tracks. “No. But they should.”

With a genuine laugh, Gou falls into step beside him.

Chapter Text

SEASON ONE

—

It’s day one of filming, and Gou seems about as nervous as Ash expected he’d be.

Even so, once the cameras start rolling, he puts on a brave face. He’s doing a great job keeping up with Ms. Dee’s edits and directions, too.

Of course, there’s naturally going to be some outtakes.

“Cut!”

“I’m so sorry,” Gou murmurs, clenching his hands nervously.

“It’s okay! You don’t have to keep apologizing.” Ash says cheerily, giving Gou a hefty slap on the back that knocks him forward a step.

“Sorry,” Gou murmurs again, like he didn’t really hear what Ash just said. His brow furrows, eyes glued to the floor. “Ah… Where... was my mark…?”

Ash watches the junior star as he sways listlessly on his feet, hugging his arms. He’s been nervous all day, but he's been acting increasingly strange ever since their break between sets. At first, Ash just chocked it up to Day One nerves and overwhelm, but something about Gou’s posture is really concerning him right now.

“Gou, are you alright?” Ash asks, stepping forward to see his face.

His co-star just smiles and nods vacantly without looking at him.

Just then, Ms. Dee calls out to the crew. “Alright, Let’s wrap there for today—! Excellent work, everybody!!” She beams, striding over to Gou and clasping his hand. “You’re doing such a wonderful job, Gou! I couldn’t have asked for a better day one. I’m really looking forward to working with you!”

There’s a slight delay in Gou’s eyes as he looks up at Director Delia, and that unsettling feeling in Ash’s chest kicks up again. Gou just laughs sheepishly, bowing his head. Ms. Delia lingers for a moment before turning to Ash. “You too, Ash! Great work today!”

Ash answers, “Thanks, Ms. Dee…” but he’s distracted, watching Gou slip away from them without a goodbye. The anxious star keeps glancing around the room as he heads toward the trailers, not watching where he’s going, and he almost bumps into a PA.

Delia notices, too, tilting her head. “Is he alright…? I wasn’t too hard on him today, was I?“

Ash shakes his head. “No! You did a great job, too, Ms. Dee.”

She looks touched to hear that, smiling with her eyes. “Thanks, dear.” Then, looking back the direction Gou left in, she asks, “Could I ask you to check on—“

“—Already on it,” Ash salutes, heading for their trailer.

“Thank you, Ashton,” Ms. Dee calls after him, turning and heading toward her office.

Allowing Gou some time to breathe and shed his costume, Ash tosses off his hat and quickly changes into some jeans with a fitted tee. When he hops out of his trailer, a handful of the crew standing nearby try to come over and say hi, eager to catch up with him after the break between seasons.

“Hi! Sorry, guys, I have to check— something— we'll catch up soon!” Ashton explains, and most of the small crowd parts for him.

Ash loves his crew this season, but there’s two particular members of security that he just cannot stand. They’re always hounding him for pictures and goading him to join in on their unsolicited gossip about the studio. They’re almost as bad as the actual paparazzi.

It’s those two who happen to be blocking his way to Gou’s side of the doublebanger. Huffing under his breath, Ash takes a sharp turn to move around them.

“Wait, wait, Ashton! Can we get a day one selfie?”

“Real quick, dude! We promise!”

Ash’s temper flares, but with practiced poise, he turns to face them with a tranquil smile. “Okay. Just one.”

They snicker and both hop into frame with him, giving the camera some ugly ‘rock on’ snarls. Ash just holds a peace sign over his mouth. As they both straighten up to check the photo, Ash hurries around them to Gou’s side of the trailer.

“Gou?” Ash raps on his trailer door. He listens, but there’s no answer. “Gou? Can I come in?”

Ash stands idle by the door, growing nervous with every passing second. Maybe Gou’s just listening to music or something? It would be super awkward if he walked in on Gou undressing. Still, Ash can’t shake the feeling that something’s wrong. He knocks once more before tentatively heading inside.

“Hey, Gou?” Still no answer. “I just wanted to check on you. I know day one can be a little overwhelming, learning the ropes and everything, but you seriously did a really great job today!”

As Ash walks further inside, he risks a quick glance up to see Gou, still in full costume, sitting at the vanity with his head in his arms. (Did he fall asleep?) He looks exhausted.

Lounging on the couch beside him, Ash peers over, curious to see Gou’s eyes are open. “...How are you feeling?”

Ash’s co-star gives him zero indication of life as he continues to stare at his reflection.

“…Gou?”

Ash sits up straight, his heart rate spiking.

“Gou, look at me?”

Gou’s lashes quiver with the slightest movement of his eyes.

“Okay—” (Don’t panic) “Gou—?“ (You know what this is) “I think you’re having a panic attack...“ (You remember what to do) ”…It’s okay.” (He’s gonna be okay).

Ash speaks calmly in spite of his nerves, gently laying a hand on Gou’s back. His co-star still doesn’t react. “You’re in your trailer.” (Safe) “It’s just us here.“ (You’re here for him)

He turns to Gou’s mini fridge, digging into the cooler for an ice cube. Then he faces Gou, unfurling the boy’s fist and placing the ice in his palm.

It’s a trick Mx. Tee taught him— Cold stimuli like ice can help ground someone having a panic attack.

Ash watches Gou nervously as water starts to melt through his fingers.

(Please work...)

After what feels like an eternity, Gou blinks, once, then twice, his eyes slowly scanning Ash standing beside him. Seeing the light returning to his eyes, Ash heaves a sigh of relief. “Hey. Welcome back.”

The cloudy confusion in his eyes turns mortified as he comes to. He looks like he’s on the verge of bursting into tears. “Ash— I—“ he stutters, turning red. “—don’t know what just— I’m so sorry.“ he whispers, hiding his horrified face in his arms.

“Whoa, don’t apologize, it’s okay!"

When Gou still won't come out of hiding, Ashton chews his lip, realizing he's about to admit something vulnerable.

"I… used to get panic attacks, too.“

Gou looks up as he processes Ashton’s secret, eyes wide.

Ash holds his gaze, rubbing his own neck. “Has this ever happened to you before?” When Gou slowly shakes his head, Ash frowns, taking a seat next to him. It hurts to think this is all happening to him because of something to do with the show. “Sometimes big changes in your life can cause them… But do you know if there was something specific that triggered it?” Gou’s eyes flinch, and Ash instantly knows the answer. “If it’s something me or the director can help you with, you have to let us know.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Gou insists, and Ash gets the sense he’s trying to convince himself that’s true.

When Ash just gives him a strong stare, challenging him to lie again, Gou’s expression gradually crumples.

“I just overheard some guys talking about me,” Gou murmurs, holding his head over the desk.

Ash feels his entire body starting to tense up. “What did they say?”

Gou grimaces. “It’s embarrassing.”

“You can tell me. It’s okay.“ Ash insists, “I won’t laugh.”

Puffing a deep, reluctant sigh, Gou confesses. “There were two guys in the bathroom, and one of them said…I'm... just a diversity hire— because I’m a…boy that looks like a girl…“ his crush swallows hard, and Ash stops breathing. “…Something about the studio getting pressured into being more inclusive, so they’re… just using me…to….” Gou trails off as tears start to prick his eyes, rubbing his palm that held the ice. “Sorry. uh… I guess my skin’s not as thick as I thought it was.” He wipes his eyes in frustration, murmuring under his breath, "Maybe they're right. I'm too green for all of this."

An intense wave of instinct and protectiveness swells inside Ash, crashing all over him at once. The sheer anger roaring through his head takes him off guard, and he clenches his fists. “Who said that.”

Gou looks startled to see Ash upset. “I-I don’t know, I didn’t see their faces,” Closing his eyes, he tries to recall any helpful details. “Hmm… One of them had kind of a deep voice. They must have been in the room for my first scenes. It happened right after the first break... The other guy’s voice was kinda rough and kept calling him ‘Duuuude.’”

The actor does a perfect impression of the bumbling jerk from Security, and Ash inhales a sharp breath.

”And— Ugh, neither of them washed their hands—“ Goh shivers in disgust as Ash suddenly turns to leave. “Wait… where are you going?”

Ash is already halfway out the door. “I know who they are. I’ll be right back,” he says, barely containing his seething rage. Then, seeing Gou’s nervous face, he puts on a soft, reassuring smile. “By the way, there’s water and snacks in your fridge. Just hang out for a sec, okay?”

He closes the door behind him, sprinting straight for the director’s office. Along the way, he finds the culprits lounging by the vending machine. “You two,” he snaps, “Come with me.” He doesn’t stop to answer any of their questions as he leads them directly to the woman in charge.

Director Delia looks up from her desk. She must notice the severe expression on Ash’s face, because she puts down her tablet, directing her full attention to him. “Ashton? What’s the matter?”

The two guards come ambling in behind him, scratching their heads.

Ash turns around, leaning back on the edge of Ms. Dee’s desk. “You two are in serious trouble.”

Dude guy starts sweating, his eyes darting between Ash and the director while his friend plays it cool. "We are? Why?"

Trusting Ash, Ms. Dee plays along. She's a natural actor, after all. She narrows her eyes into an impeccably keen glare. "Oh, I think you know why."

The straight man of the duo opens his mouth to speak when his partner blurts, "Why am I in trouble?? I didn't say any of that stuff! I even told him--"

His incredulous friend whirls on him, cuffing him over the head and hissing, "Shut up!"

Pivoting to a different strategy, the suck-up starts babbling, "I think you're a great director, ma'am! No-- a fantastic director, ma'am! The studio definitely made the right choice."

Delia raises a single brow as the gruffer man scoffs incredulously. She trades a glance with Ashton before sighing, "Flattery won't help you out of this, I'm afraid."

"Ma'am, you can't trust anything this guy says," the main culprit points at his delirious buddy.

The indignant snitch groans, "You're one to talk--!"

As their confessional devolves into utter betrayal, chaos, and an attempted brawl, Ms. Dee calls for the rest of the Security team to break up the fight and haul them away. All the while, Ashton struggles to keep a straight face.

—

Ten minutes later, Ash returns to the trailer, happily reporting their terminations to Gou, effective immediately.

Gou’s chair skids out as he stands abruptly, looking horrified. “W-wait! She didn't have to— to— fire them—“ He moves to leave, collecting his bag and snacks. “I… I have to go talk to her…!“

Ash sighs through his nose. He doesn’t understand how can Gou can still feel sorry for those jerks after all the awful things they said about him.

“Gou… Those losers were a liability. It turns out they’ve been leaking misinfo to the net and all those sleazy paparazzi magazines in exchange for payment. They’re lucky she didn’t call the cops…” Ash smiles at the shock on Gou’s face. “They committed libel and broke NDA, though, so, the studio’s probably gonna sue their pants off. Honestly, you’ve done us all a huge favor.”

I’m so thankful, I could kiss you, Ashton jokes to himself, but the thought of actually pressing his lips against Gou’s overstays its welcome. In a matter of seconds, he imagines Gou kissing him back, holding his head. A fleeting image of their kiss escalating sends a small jolt through him, and he quickly shakes his head to dispel it.

(Pull yourself together, Ketcher)

Gou slowly sits back in his chair, simply uttering a stunned: “oh.”

Ash watches Gou’s exhaustion start to set in, clouding over his lidded eyes. “Some first day, huh?” he asks softly.

With a wincing smile, Gou murmurs, “Yeah…”

Ash reaches over, wrapping his hand around Gou’s arm and giving it a friendly squeeze. The junior star jumps as his eyes go wide again, blinking down at Ashton’s hand. “I‘ve got your back. You’ve gotta tell me if anything like this happens again, okay?”

……

Gou’s brow slowly pinches together as he asks, “…Why are you being so nice to me…?”

Ash’s hand twitches.

(So nice?)

(Am I being too nice?)

(Too protective? Overbearing?)

No— helping Gou, taking those guys down… it was just the right thing to do. He would’ve done the same for anyone.

Gou's nature is soft, caring, and— unfortunately— insecure. He was fully prepared to let those guys get away with slandering him because he wasn’t comfortable enough to ask for help. Because he didn’t want anyone to worry about him. Because the things they said made him feel ashamed.

It reminds Ash of the green boy he used to be, stumbling into the role of a lifetime with no idea what the world had in store for him. He used to let people walk all over him, too. He was just a kid who didn’t understand that nice people aren’t always good people. There were a lot of lessons he had to learn the hard way.

“…Because I want to be,” Ash answers earnestly. “I love being an actor, but this industry can be… really unkind, sometimes. I wish I’d had someone, when I first started— someone I could rely on. I thought, maybe, I could be that person for you.”

Gou just stares at him for a long moment before shifting his gaze back to the table. When it becomes clear Gou doesn’t have anything to say to that, Ash awkwardly clears his throat, standing to leave. “Well… anyway— I should probably head home.”

His co-star suddenly stands up too. “Wait, Ash—“

Ash halts, looking back at him.

“Thank you. For everything. …and… um,” Gou starts to blush, playing with his fingers. “…If there’s something I can do to be someone you can rely on, too… I, uh… I’d be glad to.“

Someone Ash can rely on…?

Gou’s eyes squint shut as he paws at his hair, muttering, “‘I’d be glad to?’” Like he can’t believe he came up with a line so bad. “Agh, that didn’t make sense—“

Ash beams back at him, genuinely touched. “Thanks. See you tomorrow, Gou.”

—

On his ride home, Ash clutches his rapidly beating chest, and all he can think is:

(I like him.)

(Oh, goddammit, I like him.)

—

Chapter Text

On Friday, Ash finds himself waiting early by the studio gates for Gou, in the cold (ugh) holding two hot matcha cocoas in a tray.

(You’re doing a great job getting over this crush, Ash) he sighs to himself, bopping his forehead reproachfully. (Really great job.)

As Gou rounds the corner, eyes downcast on his phone, he almost doesn’t notice Ash calling out to him. “G’morning!”

“Oh! Good morning,” Gou smiles, his nose tinted red in the cold. (Ugh. Cute.) He must assume Ash is waiting for someone else, because he just waves and keeps walking.

“Wait!” Ash laughs, trotting after him. “Uh— I got some matcha cocoa from the cafe nearby, and they gave me two, y’know, ‘cause I’m famous-or-whatever,” he rambles, watching Gou expectantly.

Gou still isn’t getting the cue as he keeps his gaze fixed on his phone. He just chuckles like he’s not surprised. “When’s that gonna start happening to me?” He wonders under his breath.

“Right now?” Ash grins, holding the cocoa right out in front of him.

Gou finally stops in his tracks, but only for a moment. “Oh, no, no, no— I was just joking.” He smiles sheepishly, waving his hands out in front of him.

“You like matcha, too, don't you…?” Ash noticed Gou gravitates toward green tea flavors whenever the studio provides refreshments.

“Uh–” Gou blinks back at him, apparently taken aback by Ash’s observational skills. “Yeah…? But…”

Ash is opening his mouth to insist he take the damn cocoa when an annoyingly familiar voice calls out, “‘Sup, twerps?” and his blood runs cold.

It takes Gou a moment to realize the voice was directed at them. “…Twerps…?”

Ash fails to suppress a groan as he turns around. (Not now…!) He glares up at his old friends, Koko and Mumu, both posed for introduction, looking extra as ever, while Mimi trails behind them, nursing her hot, black coffee and stinging her tongue.

“So! You must be our twerp 2.0.” Kojiro points flamboyantly at Gou, grinning ear-to-ear.

“AHahaha~! Look at that face. Are you really surprised to see us?” Musashi tilts her designer sunglasses down, eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Kid, don’t mind them, they’re method actors,” Mimi drones behind them.

The two campy stars whirl on their fellow actor, pettily hissing, griping, and bickering amongst each other. Ashton rolls his eyes at their antics, and all the while, Gou is just staring at them, eyes wide, unbreathing.

Ash gestures at his old friends like they’re already giving him a headache. “Gou, this is…“

“Team Rocket!!!” Gou gasps, his eyes practically sparkling. The fanatic claps both hands over his mouth, bouncing on his toes. “It’s really you! I love you guys!! You’re my favorite characters!!!”

”Wow. Okay. I’m standing right here—“ Ash jokes, his pride wounded, but seeing Gou’s giddy reaction to his favorite characters totally warms his heart.

It’s the first time he’s seen Gou emote so much outside of a character: grinning, blushing, hopping, and clapping with excitement. Until this point, Gou’s had a mixture of cordial and nervous reactions to all the other actors, so it’s amusing to see him acting like a fan for once. “It’s so great to meet you!”

His waving hands hover uncertainly by his sides, like he doesn’t know if he should offer to shake hands or not. He looks delightfully startled when Koko and Mumu both suddenly step forward, grabbing each of his hands and shaking them vigorously.

“Always a pleasure to meet a fan~!” Mumu sings.

Koko grins. “Just don’t forget, once the cameras start rolling—“

“—You’re supposed to hate us~~!“ They taunt in unison, twirling Gou around and suddenly taking off toward the studio with Mimi. Both of them cackle as he dizzily stumbles into Ash, who catches him with a smile.

“So, you’re a Rocket Grunt, huh?” Ash teases, already knowing full well he is.

“Er—“ Gou straightens up, fixing his glasses. With a calm shrug that doesn’t match the deep blush in his cheeks, he coolly says, “I wouldn’t call myself that…”

Ash just laughs and nudges him as they head into the studio together. “Sure…”

There's a brief silence between them before Gou speaks up again. “They just mean a lot to me, I guess…” he admits, “...They’re the reason I started acting.”

“Really??” Ash asks, eager to hear Gou’s backstory.

Gou gives him another one of those genuine smiles that turns the heat up in Ashton's cheeks. “Yeah. Jessie and James are both actors, too. They always looked like they were having so much fun— clowning around, wearing all those disguises, acting out elaborate plots… I thought they were so cool. Sure, they’re all a bunch of scaredy cats for comedic relief, but they’re confident, too. And they never give up...” Gou laughs. ”…They’re, like, invincible!”

The look in Gou’s eyes is so deeply earnest, it’s starting to give Ash butterflies.

“On top of all that, they’re not really bad guys. They care about their Pokémon. And they never actually get away with anything bad.”

“Yeah, we teamed up a lot, too, didn’t we?” Ash chuckles, remembering all the times his character fought alongside Team Rocket in dire situations.

Gou’s eyes shine with excitement. “Exactly! And in the latest movie, they anonymously took down that evil Dr. Zed — just because! There was nothing in it for them!”

“Yeah,” Ash answers fondly, totally lost in Gou’s blue eyes.

”And it didn’t matter that James was a man, or Jessie was a woman… both of them could pull off any disguise.” Gou smiles to himself before a warm giggle peals out of him. “There’s this scene I love from one of my favorite episodes, Pokémon Paparazzi: Team Rocket was scrambling to get their disguises on, and neither of them realizes they got their costumes mixed up until Meowth goes, ‘Lookit y’selves!’”

Gou warbles a perfectly silly impression of Meowth, holding his hands up like paws and pretending to keel over. If Mimi could’ve heard it, she’d be impressed.

Delighted to see Gou having so much fun, Ash busts up laughing. He casually hands over the cocoa as they're walking, and Gou’s so consumed with his rambling, he takes it without thinking.

“Anyway… What was I saying? Oh, yeah. Watching them totally inspired me…” Gou starts to quiet down again, watching the sky. “So… Even though I was scared to try, I joined a local theatre group— where I ended up meeting my best friend, and he’s the one who sent me the casting call for Journeys.”

(Gou’s best friend?)

“—Oh my god, wait!” The star’s eyes light up again, like he’s just remembering something vital. ”I’ve been so caught up with work stress and everything, I haven’t told you about him!” Gou smiles like he’s really excited to go on a tangent about his friend, and Ash’s heart skips, turning green with envy. His grip tenses imperceptibly around his cocoa cup.

(Was his best friend… that boy with the rose?)

Ash flashes back to the night his crush on Gou began.

After Gou's life-changing performance, Ash saw him in the theatre lobby waving to another boy who came to congratulate him.

He couldn’t see the friend’s face, but he noticed the guy was significantly taller than him, with curly auburn hair and fair skin.

“Aww. You got me a rose?” Gou smiled softly as he accepted it, twiddling the stem between his fingers.

“‘Course I did! I’m your biggest fan…” The boy answered, his voice warm with pride and affection.

Gou looked away, but his expression was genuinely grateful. “Yeah, I know.”

(His “biggest fan”?) Ash thinks bitterly, barely biting back the urge to crush his cocoa cup in his hands.

The envious star zones out for a few seconds as Gou happily rambles away, and by the time he tunes back in, he realizes Gou just asked him a question, eyes wide and bright, watching him expectantly.

“Ohh…! Yeahhh!” Ash fibs, trying to match Gou’s energy.

Gou beams. “Yeah? I knew you would! And remember that t-shirt you signed for him?”

(No??) Ash blinks, keeping a big, careful smile on his face as he nods.

“Hahah… He gave it to me!” Gou's still beaming, still watching Ash expectantly, like Ash ought to be blown away.

(Just keep smiling!) “Oh yeah??” Ash plays along, but he has absolutely no idea what Gou’s going on about. He‘s signed tons of t-shirts for fans over the years. Why would he remember any random boy in particular?

“Hah… Yeah! I, uh, I still have it...” Gou laughs rosily, tucking some of his longer hair behind his ear. Ashton’s gaze lingers on Gou’s happy smile as he attempts to piece together what he just heard.

(Wait—)

(Did Gou just admit his ””friend“” shares his t-shirts with him?!)

(That sounds like—)

“…Was that weird to say…?” Gou grimaces nervously at Ashton's silence, hiding his reddening face in his scarf. “Sorry…”

Not wanting Gou to get the wrong idea, Ash fervently answers, “No, no, of course not! I was just thinking that's… nice!” he lies through his teeth.

Gou exhales in relief, his smile returning. “I’m actually meeting him for lunch today. Um… Do you want to join us?” he offers, practically shining with anticipation.

“Ohh!“ (You’re in too deep, Ketcher.) “That sounds… great!” (Yeah, real great...) “But…… damn, I’m actually super busy today…” He feels his ears turning pink as he lies again, scratching the side of his head.

Gou nods. “Sure, no worries. Maybe some other time…?”

“Yeeah,” Ash averts his eyes with an awkward cough. Desperate to change the subject, he segues into: “Sooo… You were saying… Team Rocket is the reason you became a star, huh?”

Seemingly reluctant to call himself a star, Gou just smiles softly in reply and shrugs.

“That’s awesome.” Ash grins back at him. “Wow. And just think… You’re going to inspire someone like that, too! I know it.”

“…”

When Ash looks over, he sees Gou’s sunny mood clouding over with doubt, lips pressed into a tense line, eyes devoid of all the joy he saw just moments before. Ash starts to feel troubled as he realizes Gou doesn't believe him.

The insecure actor clears his throat a little as he smiles apologetically back at Ash. “Sorry. I’ve been talking a lot.”

“What? No. Don’t apologize. I like hearing you talk,” Ash blurts. (Wow, real subtle, Ash.) “Er, I mean— keep talking— if you want to—“

Ashton full-on flounders as his crush stops to face him by their trailer. Gou doesn’t seem keen to talk anymore, only giving Ash a small, shaky hum of acknowledgment. Then he blinks down at the cocoa to-go in his hands like he’s only just realizing it’s there. “…Is this for me…?”

After a moment of disbelief, Ash rolls his eyes with exasperation, but he’s smiling. “Yes, it’s for you.”

He watches victoriously as Gou finally accepts it, gently blowing on the steam. “…Thanks,” Gou murmurs, ”I owe you one.”

Before Ash can argue the cocoa was free, Gou hurriedly bids him a farewell, disappearing inside his half of the doublebanger and promptly locking the door behind him.

(Uuughhgghughhh) Ash rubs at his eyes with frustration as he steps into his own room, sighing at the wall between them. (What are you doing, Ash?)

—

Month 4 - February

—

Throughout the next several weeks, Ash introduces Gou to most of the show’s other actors.

Chloe, their fellow costar— new to the show, but not Hollywood.

Ash doesn’t know her very well, yet, since she tends to keep to herself. At first he thought she was acting snobby and avoiding him on purpose, but upon further reflection, he realized she’s just kind of shy, like Gou, only she’s better at hiding it.

Of all the other actors, Gou probably spends the most time around her. The two hardly ever talk, but they seem content studying their lines nearby together, occasionally asking questions about their scenes or how they should react to one another.

Sometimes Ash finds himself watching Gou for any sign he might be attracted to her. If he is, Ash can’t tell. (Gou’s probably wise enough not to make that mistake).

Hodge — the goofy prankster.

Ash loves hanging out with Hodge. He’s the host of one of those hidden-camera prank shows, always down to clown around and wear goofy prosthetics. Ash thought he and Gou ought to have a lot in common, but Gou seems highly uncomfortable around Hodge ever since the guy tricked him into holding a Pikachu toy that actually zapped his hands.

Ren, and Chrys— their adult co-stars.

Among all the adults, Gou tends to gravitate toward them. Gou mentioned something once about being an only child, but those two give him big sibling vibes. He smiles sheepishly when Chrys tosses their labcoat around his shoulders, cooing at what a ‘cute little professor’ he’d make, and Ash has to agree.

Leon, Raihan, and Sonia— their Galar cast.

Gou seems a little intimidated by all three of them behind the scenes, but Ash can’t figure out why. They’re all really fun and friendly. Raihan can be a little blunt sometimes, but never malicious. Sonia’s a natural conversationalist, bubbly and curious. And Leonaidas’s probably the nicest man Ash has ever met.

Ash especially enjoys chatting with Leon. He looks up to Leon a lot as an actor, but also just as a guy in general. He’s kind, hilarious, confident, and never afraid to speak his mind. He swears like a sailor, and Sonia’s always slapping him around about it. “Oh, come off it. Ash is cool,” Leon retorts, flashing him a grin.

Curiously, Ash starts to notice Gou’s eyes on them whenever he and Leon get especially loud and boisterous with each other, but he can never tell who Gou is staring at.

And, today, both Ash and Gou are meeting the actor playing Horace. Apparently Horace is a name meaning “Man of Time,” which makes sense for the character, since Horace’s dream is to capture the time-travel Pokémon Celebi. His real name is Ray.

Ray finds Gou first, shaking his hand outside the trailer, excited to meet him. Ash peeks out his trailer window to see Ray, all smiles, gushing about how great it is to be here. "We should hang out after we wrap for the day!" he hears Ray say.

Ash grits his teeth as his jealousy rears its ugly head again. He has to take a deep breath and remind himself Ray might just want a friend. But something about the way Ray giggles a little too loudly as they're walking away leads Ash to believe otherwise.

Fortunately, Ray and Gou only have a short interaction at the end of the episode, so Ashton watches them behind the scenes, following along with a script in his hands.

Off-camera, Horace exclaims, “Goh?!”

Goh’s eyes widen in shock as he turns around. Horace strides forward from the shadows of the forest, his face full of awe.

“Horace…?” Goh murmurs, his voice apprehensive, like he can’t believe his eyes. He only takes a few steps forward to meet the old friend that betrayed him, leaving several yards of distance between them. A gentle breeze tousles their hair in the silence.

The newcomer’s expression softens as he smiles rosily, tilting his head. “There’s so much to talk about— So much to say.”

Goh’s parted lips come together for a small smile, humming a quiet laugh to himself that makes Ashton’s heart flutter. When he finally strides forward to close the gap between them, Ash watches carefully as they stare into each other’s eyes.

“Hold that pose,” Director Delia calls as the studio’s jib cam slowly pans up and over the trees.

Ash finds himself flexing his fingers nervously as Gou and Horace continue to stare.

Does this scene feel romantically charged, or is he just imagining it?

The jealous star glances down at the script, quickly scanning through the outro.

[Celebi twirls over the treetops, stopping to meet another Celebi, shiny and pink. They share a smile as they fly away together.]

NARRATOR: The exciting, wonderful world of Pokémon! A group of the most unusual creatures, teeming with mystery! Living everywhere, and helping form bonds of every kind, as the journey continues.

(Bonds of every kind…) The line echoes in his head. Combined with the Celebi visuals and the boy’s emotional reunion, Ash gets the sense this scene is very much open to romantic interpretation. He looks up again, feeling uneasy as Gou smiles back at Ray.

Thankfully, Ms. Dee finally calls, “And cut,” ending the spell between them. Gou waves to Ray as he breaks away for the refreshments table, and Ash follows him.

“That was great,” Ash says, casually joining Gou with a drink.

“Mm. Thanks,” Gou responds uneasily, sounding light-headed. When Ash looks over, he's startled to realize Gou’s face is flushing red.

“…Is something wrong?” he asks warily, frowning as Gou absentmindedly rubs circles over his stomach.

(He’s blushing.)

(He looks nervous.)

(Did staring into Ray’s eyes give him butterflies!?)

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine. It’s just…” Gou’s eyes flick up at Ash’s just briefly before he laughs and looks up at the trees. “… Eye-contact isn’t exactly one of my strengths. It makes me feel really uncomfortable when I have to hold it. Especially with someone I hardly know.”

Ashton feels bad that he’s relieved to hear that. “Oh. I see.”

Gou takes a long sip of his water and sighs. “My dad keeps telling me I just need to practice more.“ he pulls a face, rolling his eyes. “Like, sure, Dad! Let me just ask people to help me stare into their eyes for no reason. That’s not weird at all.“

“…I don’t mind helping you practice,” Ash answers earnestly, from one actor to another. He smiles as Gou’s eyes momentarily lock with his again before nervously flitting away.

“Nooo, no, you don’t have to do that,” Gou waves him off, taking another long drink.

“Seriously, if practicing might help you feel more comfortable getting through scenes like that one, I’m happy to help.” (Maybe a little more than just happy.)

Gou’s lips press into a wobbling line as he scans their immediate surroundings. No one else is around. He closes his eyes, muttering, “Okay, fine,” and gradually opens them again, looking straight at Ashton.

It only takes three seconds of staring into those ocean blues for Ash to start feeling lightheaded himself. Gou’s cheeks start to flood with color again as his brow quivers slightly, and a sudden, nervous laugh spills out of him.

“Sorry.” He groans, rubbing his eyes.

“Take it from the top,” Ash quips in good humor, pretending to snap a clapperboard with his hands, and Gou exhales a silent, breathy laugh. This time, they make it about seven seconds before Ash cracks a smile, and Gou laughs again, ducking away.

“Ugh. Why am I like this,” Gou whispers, rubbing his temples.

“I don’t want you to make yourself sick,” Ash murmurs, still intently watching his eyes. “You can stop whenever you need to.”

“I’m fine,” Gou answers stubbornly, his brow still twitching as he looks up again. After seven seconds, Ash witnesses Gou’s pupils starting to dilate just slightly, the shimmery color variation in his irises shifting slightly with the motion.

Ashton once read somewhere that prolonged eye-contact can conjure genuine feelings of attraction, even between complete strangers. As he holds Gou’s trembling gaze, the world in his peripheral fades away, and he starts to feel his heart beat pounding up to his neck. (god, he's so beautiful) Ash thinks, committing all the pigments of Gou's eyes to his memory.

”ASHTON!! HEY, ASHTON!!!” a young voice squeals from across the clearing, and their little bubble pops.

Goh’s kid actor for the episode, a little boy named Julian, comes sprinting over, shining with excitement. He looks just like Gou— dark hair, fawn skin, cute face, and thick eyelashes. All he needed was a pair of blue contacts to turn him into Goh’s little clone.

“Hi, I’m Julian!!!” the boy announces, bouncing on his toes. “I’m your biggest fan!!!”

“Oh, wow!” Ashton smiles, taking a nearby seat to meet Julian’s eye-level. “Nice to meet you, Julian!”

Julian beams from ear to ear as he leaps up to hug Ash, knocking the breath out of him.

“Julian!” A nearby woman scolds, her tone stern. She hurries forward to peel Julian off of him, giving Ash a nervous, apologetic smile. “I’m so sorry. Jules— You have to ask for a hug. You can’t just take it.”

With a small grumble, Julian wrings his hands on his character hoodie, shuffling his feet. “I’m sorry, Mr. Ketcher.”

Ash gives the woman a reassuring smile before he turns to Julian again. “It’s alright, bud. Do you want to sit with me?” He pats his lap, and Julian gasps in delight as he hops up into the chair with him. Little Julian asks if he can hug Ash again, and he happily gives him permission. When Ash glances over his shoulder, he notices Gou smiling at them.

From there, Julian starts asking all sorts of curious questions.

“Can you sign my shirt?”

“Yeah, man!” Ash laughs, poking the sleeve of Julian’s costume. “Just not this one.”

“What’s it like to be so famous?”

(Oof.) Ash keeps his smile as he says, “It has ups and downs…but mostly ups! I’m lucky to work with such a great crew.”

Julian’s grin widens. “Are you a billionaire??”

“Ha!“ Ash blurts. “No…” (Millionaire? Sure.)

“What’s YOUR favorite Pokémon?“

“Hmmmmm, you mean other than Pikachu? I really like Litten.“

“Can we take a selfie?

Ash is surprised Julian has a phone this young, but he smiles and says, ”Of course!” Julian squeals and pulls up a face-filter app, tapping on an effect that gives them both Pikachu cheeks and sparkly eyes. Ash chuckles in amusement as Julian roars under his breath. Snap!

“Do you ever get the giggles while you’re working? My mom says I get the giggles.” The woman watching them rolls her eyes in good humor.

“Sometimes, yeah! That’s natural.” He used to get the giggles all the time when he first started out. It hasn’t happened as much in recent seasons, but there’s definitely been several scenes they had to retake with Gou because Ashton was having too much fun teasing him.

“How do Pokémon make eggs??”

(Er…) “Haha, uh, I’m not actually sure—“ Ashton scratches his head. He’s probably heard it somewhere before, but he can’t remember now. Despite being the star of Pokémon, he’s not a walking encyclopedia like Gou.

Unphased, Julian leaps into the next question with his whole chest. “Is Pikachu gonna live forever—???”

(Ohh, no—)

Thankfully, Gou comes swooping in to save him like a superhero, holding out his hand. “Hi, Julian, it’s nice to meet you!”

Little Jules just blinks up at his teen clone, suddenly speechless. Ash gives him a little nudge, and he warily accepts the handshake. “Hello.”

Gou doesn’t seem phased; he just kneels a little so he’s level with the boy and cups his hand over the side of his mouth, like he wants to share a secret. “Nobody knows where Pokemon eggs come from. Some people think Pokemon lay eggs, but there’s no actual evidence that they do…“ Gou smiles as Julian’s eyes go wide with intrigue. “They just kind of show up. Maybe something delivers them—? Or maybe they just appear with the same magic they evolve with…?”

Julian looks at Ash as if to verify this is true. Trusting Gou completely, Ash grins with a nod, and the little Pokémon enthusiast murmurs, “Cooool!“

Ms. Dee calls on all her kid actors, and Julian hops off Ash’s lap to stand at attention. “Coming!!” Turning to Ash, he asks, “Are you gonna watch me?”

“Do you want me to?” When little Goh nods enthusiastically, Ash laughs, “Okay! I’ll be right here. You got this.” He offers a fist bump, and the boy beams and returns it, bouncing on his toes.

Gou stands up, smiling and offering his fist out too. Ash starts to sweat as Julian just stares up at him, clearly hesitating. Then he suddenly declares, very seriously, “I’m here because of you, so…thank you so much, Mr. Gou!!”

Before Mr. Gou can react, the sweet boy dives forward to hug his waist, knocking Gou back a step. Behind them, his mother groans into her hand again, mumbling, “Julian! When will you learn?” as the excitable boy takes off running toward the Director, ready for his scenes.

“Wow. That was adorable,” Ash grins, leaning forward to see Gou’s face. He’s surprised to see his co-star’s eyes growing misty with emotion. Gou notices too, quickly swiping his eyes. “Yeah… Hah. I really thought he was gonna leave me hanging, there… Ugh, my contacts are irritated again...”

Ash just laughs, crossing his arms and nudging Gou with his elbow. They stand side by side, watching Julian’s scenes. He forgets a couple of his lines, and The Director has to reign him in a few times when he gets distracted by the stage crew. But the boy is confident in himself, seemingly unphased by his mistakes, and he ends up performing exceptionally well. He’s clearly won the hearts of everyone around him.

Feeling moved by Julian’s performance, Ash wistfully says, “Ahh, remember how it felt to be a little kid like that? When nothing mattered but having fun…”

Memories flip through his mind like the pages of an old scrapbook— 5 years old, belting the lyrics of his favorite songs in the backseat of his mom’s car. 7 years old, dressing up for a lead role in the school play. 9 years old, chasing his friends around the playground after musical practice.

Much simpler times, before his world grew so complicated. Ash sighs as he reminisces. “…Everything was so much easier back then.”

Gou doesn’t answer, his gaze lost somewhere in the middle distance, looking distinctly troubled. When Gou realizes Ash is watching him, he offers his co-star a small smile.

“Um… can’t relate.” he murmurs. “I was a pretty shy kid.”

For some reason, Ash had assumed Gou’s insecurities were something that developed as he grew older, as is the case with many teenagers. Ashton didn't develop certain anxieties until he was a teenager, dodging inappropriate fans and hiding his orientation from the public.

He never thought to imagine Gou has been struggling with anxiety all his life.

Ash frowns, his brow furrowing. He can picture little Gou so clearly now, hiding his red face, nervously pawing his hair, crying when he’s scared.

But look at him now– facing his fears every day, meeting new people, bearing his heart with every performance. He’s come a long way.

“What do you think little Gou would say if he could see you now?” Ash asks gently.

He watches Gou’s facial journey shift from something bittersweet to something darker, and pained, like confliction. Then he just shrugs and shakes his head, back to his neutral gaze on Julian.

“He’d probably be excited to see you on Pokémon, right?” Ash presses.

Gou looks back at Ash just briefly, his expression unreadable. “You and Julian sure like to ask a lot of questions,” He deflects coolly, turning and leaving for his side of the trailer. Ash remains stranded where he is, watching helplessly as Ray stops Gou along the way to trade numbers, and they do. Then Ray asks if they can hang out inside the trailer, and Gou obliges, opening the door for him.

Ash watches them disappear together, his heart aching.

Chapter Text

Months 5 - 6 March - April

—

Ash has always loved improv.

In the past, Ash had strict directors who insisted he stick to the script, but Ms. Dee encourages her actors to have fun and go off script whenever the moment seizes them. It took Gou by surprise at first, but Ash thinks he’s starting to get the hang of it. Gou’s a natural improv artist himself, after all.

Some of Ashton’s favorite moments of filming are just riffs between him and Gou.

—

S1e4

Gou’s in the middle of his monologue to Scorbunny when Ash suddenly throws an arm around his shoulders, startling him. He looks at Ash kind of incredulously, as if to say: What are you doing? I wasn’t done! when Ash says, “Goh’s telling you the truth!”

Gou’s expression softens as he realizes Ash is just improv‘ing.

“Now, he may act really smart, but he only figured this out juuust now.”

Realizing Ash is teasing his character, Goh blushes and stands up straight, getting defensive. “I-I’ve always figured it out this way!”

“Yeah? You sure?” Ash flashes him an easygoing grin.

“Sure, I’m sure!” Goh flounders, turning red.

Ms. Dee laughs. “Cut! That was perfect.”

Gou’s still blushing when Ash chuckles and slaps him on the back.

—

S1e7

“So, I guess you’re really into Pokémon battles huh?”

Ash beams. “Yeah! It’s hard to explain it, but it’s kind of like… with my Pokémon at my side, there’s nothing I can’t do! How about you?”

Goh hums, his brow furrowing. “Uhh… I’m not sure yet. I still don’t know much about it...”

“Therrre you go, talking like that again,” Ashton adlibs, stepping into frame and nudging Goh so hard he takes a step to the side. Still bugging him with nudges, he asks, “You’re here to compete, right?”

“But—?!“ Goh’s brow twitches, remembering why he’s here. “That’s because you entered me in the competition without my permission! Besides…”

Ms. Dee cuts in with her megaphone, shouting, “A Taillow just swooped past you!”

“Wait— A Pokémon?! C’mon, Scorbunny!” Goh turns and takes off running, full of joy. “Hoenn Region Pokémon, here we come!!”

Ash chuckles warmly, watching him go with his hands on his hips. “Heh… Well, that’s Goh for ya!”

—

S1e12

Ash hops off the bus and looks around aimlessly. “Hey, Goh, which way is the stadium?”

“There! Right in front of your face.”

“Uhh, where?”

Goh grins. It’s not in the directions, but he places both hands on the sides of Ash’s head, tilting it back and laughing, ”Look UP!”

—

S1e10

“See… well, I think I figured out the secret of the island, Ash…”

“The secret?? C’mon, tell me!”

“I figured it out when I saw those Dragonaire playing around back there… I think that the storm was created from all of their power swirling around and around the island. That’s why no one's ever found this place!”

Ash looks up at the sky, where they’ll surely add swirling storm clouds in post. “Now that you mention it… that makes sense!” Ash grins, turning to face him. “Which means you’re pretty awesome!”

“uh—“ Goh blushes, taken aback by the unscripted compliment. Reacting in character, Goh puts on a smug facade, closing his eyes and smirking to himself, but a break in his voice betrays him. “We-ell, it’s nothing—“

“Hey, a beach!!” Ash interrupts, taking off running, and Goh gasps indignantly.

—

S1e15

“You dropped this right before you got on the bus.” Ash hands the gift to Goh, watching his eyes light up in awe.

“Huh? Wow, you don’t mean you really came here just to give this back, do you? All that way…?”

“Of course!” Ash murmurs, watching Goh expectantly. He was probably supposed to give Goh one of his signature Ash Ketchum grins— friendly, brotherly, goofy. But watching the way Gou’s eyes change color under the warm sunset, Ash can’t help the way his line comes out as he gazes back at Goh with a gentle smile.

Goh is supposed to grin and respond with an excited, ”ASH! You’re the best!!” and a friendly fist bump. But Gou just smiles sheepishly through his line, his brows trembling.

“Ash, you’re the best…” He looks down, and Ash realizes this is probably one of those moments Gou is struggling to hold his gaze. The anxious boy lifts the gift to his face to hide his face behind it.

The Director calls for a cut, and Goh immediately breaks away from Ash, apologizing and hurrying over to the refreshments table behind the Director. “Sorry, I just need some water,” he murmurs.

Ms. Dee smiles at the replay. “Let’s keep it.”

Ashton smiles as Gou coughs in the middle of his drink and turns on his heels. “Huh?”

“Yeah, I like this much better. Ash, you’re on deck!”

Ash can tell Gou is puzzled and disgruntled with the director’s decision, but they both set back to work.

—

S1e26

“Magikarp…” Goh murmurs sadly, gazing up at the big blue atmosphere that just swallowed up his prize Pokémon.

Ashton puts on a comically teary face as he cries, “All that hard work and training… And now it’s nothing but a memory I won’t forget…” That’s where the scene‘s supposed to end, and the usual narrator is supposed to take over. but Ash’s campy emotions come coursing through him. His lip wobbles, and he suddenly shouts, “Magikarp! Take good care!! And thank you for the memories!!!” With tears streaming down his cheeks.

Behind him, Gou plays along, shedding tears of his own, before he suddenly sobers up, whirling on Ash. “Hey!! Who do you think you are, the narrator?!”

Ash flashes the camera a quick wink with his tongue poking out.

Once Ms. Dee calls for the cut, Ash turns to grin at Gou, and they both burst out laughing.

—

S1e46

Ash stares wistfully up at the starry night sky. “I hope we meet again…”

Goh scoots back, surprising Ash with an unscripted back-to-back nudge. “Oh, I’m sure we will! After all, the future’s in the palm of my hand—!” He reaches out a fist, like he always does.

Ash suddenly reaches over, too, crossing his arm over Goh’s. Gou freezes as his co-star ad libs the line, “Of our hands, you mean?”

They lock eyes again, and Ash isn’t sure how long they’re staring at each other as he smiles back. Maybe their practice is really paying off.

Ms. Dee practically squeals, running over to them. “Ash! That was fantastic!!“

“Yeah?” Ashton beams, rubbing his nose.

“Please make a note to the writers— I want that line incorporated into future episodes,” the Director calls out to her assistant. She jogs back over to the replay, delighted.

The boys both watch her leave before turning to each other again. Ashton smiles a little sheepishly at his co-star. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to change Goh’s catchphrase… It just kinda popped into my head.”

Gou shakes his head, smiling. “Don’t be sorry. It makes sense. Goh’s not the selfish loner he used to be anymore, y’know? They’re a team now. I think it’s perfect.“

Ash gazes up at the stars again, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by his proximity to Gou. They’re so far away from everyone else, just murmuring reverently up at the stars like the sky is a gallery of art. In a way, it is. The twinkling stars are so beautiful tonight. If Ash just keeps his eyes up, he can imagine they’re on a real, stargazing date, far away from the world and all its ugly complications.

“You’re really amazing at this ad lib stuff, you know that?” Gou smiles, sending a deep blush to Ash’s cheeks. ”I think you deserve a writing credit by now.”

“You really think so?” Ash asks, genuinely touched. He’s been thinking a lot about writing lately. Sometimes he writes to cope with anxious ruminations. Other times, he writes fun fiction to escape the frustrations of his life— another trick he learned from therapy. He never really considered that he might actually have the talent to be a real writer.

A light breeze tousles his hair as he tilts his head back to look at Gou. After a long day of filming overtime together, he feels exhausted, but he could sit out here talking to Gou on this hilltop under the stars, all night long, if he’d let him.

Unfortunately, Gou suddenly stands up, rubbing his arms like he’s cold, but it has to be at least 70 degrees out. ”Of course,” he answers simply, already walking away. Ash sighs wistfully and falls back in the grass, watching the sky for shooting stars.

Chapter Text

—

Month 7 - May

—

“Heeeey, Gou!!” Ash greets his co-star cheerily, shouting across a wide expanse of rolling green hills shimmering in the wind. It’s their first day filming the Sword and Shield specials overseas.

Gou glances up from his phone with a small smile and waves, heading directly into his trailer to change. He pauses and leans into the doorframe for a moment, looking down— perhaps reading something on his phone?— before heading inside.

That’s strange. Gou usually comes over to greet Ash in the mornings. Checking the time, Ash frowns. (He’s not usually late, either…)

Well, they did have a pretty brutal flight across the Atlantic to get here. Maybe Gou's just feeling jetlagged. Ash’s mind drifts as his makeup artist chatters away with a nearby PA about the weather, saying something about high winds, the pollen index, and a chance of rain later.

He hardly sees Gou all morning long — for the first time, their characters are actually spending a majority of the episodes apart from each other on branching storylines that eventually reconvene for the big finale. An assistant director is on a different set with Ash, filming his scenes with Leon.

The pining star finally catches a glimpse of Gou during the lunch break, but again, Gou just waves and retreats into his trailer. Ash checks his phone with another frown. Did Gou eat already? He sighs, slinking back into his seat.

“You’right, mate?” Leonaidas greets him with a smile toward the end of their break. Beside him, an out-of-costume Raihan gives Ash a lazy, casual wave as he turns to the refreshments table nearby.

It takes Ash a second to remember Leon’s just saying hey and not actually asking him if something’s wrong. He smiles easily in reply. “Yeah, thanks.“ Then, as casually as he can muster, he asks, “…Have either of you talked to Gou today?”

Leon cocks his head. “Why d’you ask?”

Raihan cracks the cap off a hissing bottle of soda as he glances up.

Ash keeps his face neutral as he nervously rubs the tip of his nose. “Just wanted to make sure he saw the invite for dinner tonight.”

Raihan strolls closer to join the conversation. "I dunno if he saw the invite, but I talked to him this morning. Found him blubbering on the kerb outside the corner shop ‘round five.” he answers bluntly, taking a long glug of his drink. Leon blinks back at him in surprise.

After a beat of shock, Ash leaps to his feet. “What!? Alone!? Why?!” The questions leap out of Ash before he can stop them.

For some reason, Raihan chuckles, gesturing for Ash to simmer down. “Don’t get it twisted. He was just getting teary watching the sunrise."

Ash blinks hard, struggling to believe that. “But... why was he there–?!”

"Dunno. Didn't ask. I offered to get him a snack, but he already bought something."

Before Ash can lead any more follow-up questions, Ms. Dee comes floating through on a golf cart, beckoning Leon and Ashton to hop on as they travel to the next scene. Raihan just waves goodbye over his shoulder on his way to greet Sonia.

“Ms. Dee, have you talked to Gou today? Like, BTS.” Ash tries again, and Leon quirks a brow at him, probably wondering why he's so worried.

Ms. Delia hums, giving him an awkward smile in the rear view mirror. “Well, we had a short chat in the med tent just a bit ago—"

“What??” Ash's blood pressure picks up again. "What happened?!"

"Relax hon! Just a bout of motion sickness. Sonia's driving stunts were... a bit much for him. He’ll be sitting out for a bit." the Director answers, weaving down a long, country road.

"What’s got you so wound up?" Leon asks, ruffling Ash's hair.

Ash doesnt want to explain his sudden onset separation anxiety to anyone, so he just swats Leon away and crosses his arms. "I'm not wound up..."

Delia looks up at him in the mirror again, her eyes curious.

—

By 3PM, Ash is itching to talk to Gou. Sitting on the doorstep to his side of the double-banger, Ash waits for his crush, knees bouncing, twiddling his thumbs.

The sight of Gou coming around the corner brings an instant smile to his face. “Hey, Gou!”

Gou jumps, looking startled to see him there. “Hi, Ash. Uh—“

“Are you free after we wrap today?” Ash stands up, stuffing his hands in his pockets. ”Studio’s treating us to dinner tonight. Me, Koko, Mumu, Leon and some of the others are going out…”

“No, sorry,” Gou answers sharply, holding his head like he’s irritated. “Could you step aside, please?“

“Whoa— Are you okay?” Ash steps forward instead, trying to get a look at Gou’s face. His complexion looks... pallid. His lips, usually so rosy, look drained of color now. When Ash doesn’t step out of his way, Gou’s glare flashes with frustrated sheen of tears.

In a rare display of anger, Gou snaps, “I’m fine! Move!”

He tries to step around Ash, but he just stumbles out of balance instead, crashing straight into Ash’s arms. Their shoes scratch across the gravel as Ash catches Gou, locking his arms tight around the boy’s torso. “Er… Gou—?” he grunts, feeling flustered, but mostly alarmed. Gou just goes limp in his arms, and Ash’s heart starts racing. “Gou!”

The superstar looks left and right for help, but of course there’s no one around. Gou stirs and whines into Ash’s shirt, the vibration of his voice sending a small shiver over Ash’s skin. When Gou’s faint eyes flutter open again, he suddenly gasps, tensing and thrashing against Ash’s arms. "What-- what's--!!"

“Whoa, whoa! Gou…!” Ash huffs, struggling to keep Gou upright. “It’s okay. It’s me. C’mon.”

Ash supports Gou’s weight as they step into his trailer. “Let me go,” Gou protests, trying to push Ash away. He squirms out of Ash’s hold and collapses on his couch, blushing feverishly. At least there’s color returning to his face.

As Gou lays there, breathing raggedly, Ash quickly scans his room. It’s much messier than normal. Clothes tossed to the floor, vitamin supplements and fever patches spilling out of a plastic bag on the vanity, a mountain of tissues piled in the trash.

(He’s ill—) Ash realizes, his heart sinking. (—He’s been ill all day.)

Ash settles on the floor as he pulls out his phone to text an SOS to his group chat with Ms. Dee and her PA's. He’s not sure what’s wrong with Gou, but he clearly needs medical attention.

hey, i need help. im in gous trailer. he just fainted and—

The haptic tapping sound of Ash’s keyboard alerts Gou, and the anxious star reaches out desperately to stop him, gripping his wrist.

“Wait, don’t—!“ Gou begs, his ocean eyes weak and misty.

”You’re sick,” Ash says sternly, still typing.

Gou’s grip tightens. “Ash, please, I can still work—“

Ash sighs in exasperation. “That doesn’t matter.” He makes a big mistake looking up, because Gou’s pleading face totally seizes up his heart. Before Ash can change his mind, he quickly hits send on the text, and Gou’s expression falls like a betrayal, curling in on himself. When the sick boy’s shoulders start hopping, Ash realizes he’s stifling sobs.

“Whoa, hey…!” Ash murmurs, gentler now, “It’s okay! You think you’re the first actor who’s ever needed to take a sick day? You’re still human. They’ll just rearrange the schedule a little. No big deal.”

Gou shakes his head furiously where it’s buried against his pillow. He starts gushing between hiccups, his voice broken and muffled. “I’m not sick! I-I just. have. allergies— I swear— I can’t fall behind schedule. If I do, so…-so-…so does the whole production. The animators already deal with enough deadlines as it is—! Everyone will have to scramble to cover for m-me. We only have a limited time on location, a-and it might rain all day tomorrow, and—!“

Ash can’t take it anymore. He reaches up, forcibly peeling Gou off his pillow and sweeping the bangs out of his eyes. The touch stuns Gou into silence as his eyes tremble back at his co-star, quickly welling with fresh tears.

“Listen,” Ash peers up at the crying boy as he rests his head in his arms at the edge of the couch. “You care about this production more than anyone I’ve ever worked with. And that’s great, but… you’re so hard on yourself sometimes,” Ash’s brow knits as he continues, “You don’t have to sacrifice your needs for everyone. You shouldn’t. It’s the production manager’s job to worry about all that stuff, not yours. Besides, if you collapsed like that on set, and got hurt…“ he trails off, his head bowing down in the crook of his arm. He can't even imagine how he'd feel if Gou got injured. 

Gou finally calms down as Ash’s words appear to reach him. He sniffs and takes a deep breath, wiping the remainder of his tears away.

“…I’m sorry. You’re right,“ he sighs, “That would‘ve made things way worse for everyone…”

Ash’s face falls.

(Seriously?!)

He rears back, his voice cracking with incredulity. “Gou, that’s not what I meant—!“

A rap on the trailer door interrupts him, and a second later, the medic and a PA step inside, ushering Ash to leave. Ash casts one more heartbroken glance down at Gou, who's just staring back up at him in bewilderment, like he truly doesn’t understand why Ashton’s suddenly upset.

Ash scoffs and storms out, biting back an unexpected surge of emotion coursing through his veins.

Gou genuinely cares more about this show than his own wellbeing.

Maybe it’s the leftover adrenaline of catching Goh, or the mounting anxiety of the day finally catching up to him, but Ash’s heart won't stop racing. Feeling like he’s on the verge of completely losing his cool, Ash takes a seat on the nearest knoll, breathing deeply, staring up at the clouds and running his fingers through the grass.

—

Later at the pub, Ash sighs into his mug as the rest of the cast, sans Gou, have a grand time drinking and downing their appetizers. He just can't bring himself to have any fun while Gou's busy suffering alone in his room. Knowing him, he’s probably tossing and turning in bed, scrolling endlessly through comments on his phone.

He must clearly seem moody, because Kojiro keeps asking him if he's okay.

"You still worrying about your buddy?" Leon asks insightfully from across the table, and Ash grumbles.

Beside him, Sonia says, “Poor Gou! The pollen index was especially bad today, too. None of us had any clue he was sick.”

”Kid’s a real natural actor,” Raihan quips, sounding impressed.

Ash massages his temple, his temper flaring. “I just can't believe him! He knew he was sick, and he kept working. He lied to Sonia, Raihan, Ms. Dee— and for what? A TV show?” he rants, throwing his mug back down with a little more force than necessary. “A multi-million dollar network?”

Sonia pouts as Leon scratches his head, swirling his drink around. Musashi leans over and jokes, “Maybe he’s allergic to asking for help.”

Ash checks his phone, and sure enough, there's a live green dot showing Gou's online next to his name. A quick visit to his profile shows he just posted a few minutes ago.

🟢@gou-fficial

i wish my immune system didn’t hate me🤧😵‍💫

❤️ 👎 🔁 💬

Ash frowns down at his phone as he murmurs, "I'll be back in a sec," standing up and leaving the table. Everyone watches him go with an array of concern, but they soon turn back to their conversations, respecting Ash’s need for some space.

It's starting to drizzle outside, so he finds a quiet spot in the outdoor seating area, between a couple sharing a cigarette and some tipsy patrons huddled under an awning. A layer of yellow-green pollen sits all over the decorative rails and nearby parked cars.

He watches the rain freckle the cobblestone as the number he dialed rings three times.

"Hey, Ash, what's up...?" Gou answers blearily.

There's a moment where Ash's heart skips, and a flood of self-conscious thoughts overwhelm him. (What are you doing?)(Why did you call him??)(You didn't even plan what you were going to say)(You’re always pulling impulsive stunts like this)(You’re acting crazy)(He’s gonna figure out you like him)

"Um, hello? Ash? Can you hear me?" 

(Say something!)

"Hey, yeah, I hear you," Ash answers rigidly. 

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah! Everything's fine—" Ash rubs his neck nervously. "I, uh... I was just calling to check on you."

There's a brief pause on the other end before Gou finally answers, "Me? I'm fine."

"That's good."

Neither of them seem to know what to say after that. Ash listens to some rustling and shuffling on the other end, like Gou's rolling over or reaching for tissues.

"Ash?" He pipes up, sounding small and embarrassed again. "I'm really sorry. About everything that happened today."

"You don't have to apologize for being sick," Ash insists, his heart aching.

There's a long, awkward pause. "...... You just seemed kind of upset when you left, so...I thought I said something wrong..." Gou trails off sadly. He must have noticed the way Ash stormed away, but he still doesn't understand why.

"I wasn't upset with you," Ash answers hastily, too eager to ease Gou's feelings.

"What were you upset about?"

(Dammit, you walked right into that.) "I mean...I wasn't upset," Ash lies. He doesn't know how to explain the truth: that it was Gou’s self-sacrificing consideration of others and insecure recklessness that made him react emotionally, because…well, because Ash cares. 

"Oh," Gou doesn't sound convinced. "Okay… still, I'm sorry I snapped at you and freaked out. I was really tired and stressed, but I shouldn’t’ve piled all that on you—"

"Seriously, Gou, its okay." Ash murmurs. 

There's another pause as Gou hesitates to reply with something that isn't an apology. "Right, by the way, um... I never said thank you." Ash's heart skips again. "For getting help. The doctor gave me some better medicine and treated the vertigo in my ears. I feel way better now than I did this morning."

"Yeah? That's great," Ashton finally smiles, feeling a pink blush tinge his cheeks. "I'm glad you’re feeling better."

“Yeah…” Gou says, trailing off again. “Anyway, you don't need to worry about me. I’ll probably be back on set tomorrow.”

Ash holds the phone to his chest as he takes a deep, frustrated sigh. “Let’s see what the doctor says, first,” he answers seriously. “If you need rest, you’re gonna rest, whether you like it or not.”

“……I don’t think I have ‘Rest’ in my move set,” Gou answers back, and Ash detects a hint of a smile in his voice.

“Then I guess I have to bring you the TM and make you learn it,” Ash threatens, feeling a smile of his own tugging at his lips. Gou giggles on the other end, kicking up a wave of butterflies inside him.

”I thought you promised you wouldn’t use Intimidate on me.”

”Within reason,” Ash amends, and Gou laughs again. “Say goodbye to Snore.”

“I don’t snore,” his co-star answers indignantly.

”You do on 10 hour flights across the world,” Ash snickers.

“What?!” Gou squeaks, clearly taken aback by this information. When Ashton just fakes a loud, exaggerated snore into the receiver, he shouts, “No! You’re just messing with me!”

”You’re right,” Ash grins to himself, rubbing the tip of his nose. “Your snores sounded way cuter than that. More like a Litten. Or maybe a little Tepiglet.” 

Gou splutters incredulously on the other end of the line as Ash’s grin turns into a fit of teasing laughter.

“But seriously…” Ash sighs, his laughs gradually subsiding, “…Get some rest. And quit doomscrolling.”

”Huh? How did you—“ Gou starts, but a sneeze overtakes him.

”Because I know you.”

Ash’s heart pounds hard in his throat as Gou goes quiet again. After what feels like forever, the tired boy eventually sniffles and murmurs, “Thanks for checking on me.”

Feeling their call coming to an end, Ash hums with melancholy. “‘Course. See you tomorrow?”

”Sure.”

”Okay.”

”Bye.”

”Bye…”

Ashton looks down at his contact photo of Gou as the line drops. His phone goes dark as occasional little raindrops bounce and pill off the screen. After pocketing the phone, he feels his warm cheeks again with a pining sigh.

”There you are— Food’s here, mate,” Leon calls from the restaurant’s back door, startling him out of his distractions. Seeing Ash rubbing his damp arms against the cold, drizzling rain, Leon gives the blushing boy a quizzical once over before he asks, “You alright…?”

”Yeah,” Ash lies, turning around with a perfect smile. “Right behind you.”

Chapter Text

—

Month 8 - June

—

After six months of filming, a PA calls for a wrap on season 1, and everyone in the crew breaks out into cheers and applause. Soon, the first episodes will be released out in the world, and honestly, Ash doesn't care what happens to them after that. People are bound to love them, hate them, and everything in-between.

After 4 and a half years of constantly being hyper-criticised and idolized, the only thing he’s learned from the critics is to trust his own instincts. He's done his job; he trusts his crew, the artists, and all the true fans who understand the heart of Pokémon.

Ashton just wishes he could make Gou see things the same way. He's clearly anxious to see how the world will react to his performance, and the worst part is: Ash can't blame him. He's making his worldwide debut as the first co-protagonist of his favorite show. Of course it's going to feel like a big deal.

Speaking of big deals, everyone around them is buzzing about the S1 wrap party happening tomorrow evening. Every season, the studio rents a venue and treats everyone to dinner after a private viewing of the first two episodes. Gou's allowed to invite his parents and a plus one, which means Ash finally gets to meet this friend Gou's so fond of.

All Ash has managed to glean over the course of his time with Gou is that the guy happens to be an artist, and his favorite spin off game is Pokémon Snap: the cute retro game where you take pictures of wild Pokemon like a research photographer. Gou mentioned it's his favorite spin off game, too, thanks to him.

He’s hanging out in Gou’s trailer, watching the star tie back his long hair and start to take out his contacts and apply some eyedrops.

“So, are you bringing your friend to the wrap party?” Ash tries to sound nonchalant, but his insides are flipping.

Gou pauses, turning in his seat to blink at Ash. “You know you don’t have to call him that, right?”

Ash feels his heart plummet like it’s been punted off the face of the earth. Is Gou coming out to him right now? From the way he just said that, it sounded like he knew Ash figured out the true nature of their ‘friendship’ a long time ago.

“…What…do you want me to call him?” Ash asks slowly, playing ignorant. He’s glad Gou probably can’t see whatever expression his face is making right now.

Gou smiles softly as he cleans his glasses. “He’s your friend, too.”

Ash’s breath catches on a reply, caught between an exhale of relief and a stammer of utter confusion. Does Gou think this is a my-friend-is-your-friend situation, or is he implying this fan genuinely views Ash as a friend ever since their (alleged) meet and greet all those years ago? Unsure how to respond, Ash just smiles nervously and says, “Er…oh. Of course…Yeah…”

He looks away as Gou dons his glasses and stands up, starting to gather all the things he doesn’t want to leave behind over the course of their hiatus between seasons— a phone charger, some bottles of skin care stuff, a Litten toy on the couch, the lucky Scorbunny card tucked into the corner of his mirror. “Oh, but to answer your question— Yeah!” he chimes, neatly placing everything in his bag. “He’s coming.”

“I thought so…” Ash mutters under his breath.

The jealous star has about a thousand questions he needs answers to: Will he be cool? Weird? Annoying? Nice? Conceited? Attractive? Even taller than before? (Probably.)

The anticipation makes him sick all evening long.

—

Ashton sleeps poorly that night, waking from a fitful nightmare with a jolt. His heart beats erratically in the dark as the fuzzy details of his dream drift into focus…

He was trapped in a tall hedge maze of thorny roses, and the paths kept shifting and changing like a magical labyrinth. Pikachu was real, trotting right alongside him, but for whatever trippy reason, its irises weren’t brown, but green.

At some point, he bumped into a regularly dressed Gou and Scorbunny, both looking just as disoriented as him. They wandered together, and for a while, Ash was just content being next to Gou despite the frightening surroundings they were lost in. After reaching yet another dead end, Ash plucked a rose from the maze wall, turning to face Gou with a smile.

But before he got the chance to hand it to Gou, Pikachu hopped to its feet with an urgent cry, ears twitching. It seemed to sense something coming. Ash tensed as it rumbled with an angry growl, its short fur standing on end with sparks and flickering bolts.

Gou’s faceless friend came around the corner, and Gou broke out into a joyous smile, rushing past Ashton to greet him. The taller boy took Gou’s hand and whisked him away with a grin, running deeper into the maze with him.

By the time Ashton made it around the bend with Pikachu, they were both long gone.

The nightmare replays in his head as Ashton closes his eyes, and the more he tries to dispel the memory, the more it starts to upset him. He suddenly feels a warm trickle roll down his cheek past his ear. With a curse, he swipes away hot, angry tears.

—

“Thanks again for the help, Wally,” Ash smiles at his hair stylist as the man hums, coiffing Ash's bangs with a perfectly styled swoop.

“Anything for you, ‘Tonny!” Wally sings, spritzing something all over his head.

Ashton leans forward to check his reflection in the vanity, feeling oddly self conscious. Does he look good? (Will Gou look twice?) He tugs on the cuffs of his deep blue suit, wondering if he should change into something else.

“Do you think I should wear a tie?” Ash asks nervously, playing with his collar.

“Hmm, depends— are you trying to impress someone?” Wally asks mischievously, waggling his eyebrows at Ash's reflection in the mirror.

Ashton rolls his eyes, but his ears are starting to turn pink. “C'mon, yes or no?”

Wally smiles like he's watching something highly amusing, but all he's doing is combing through Ashton's hair. “I vote no. Give ‘em a little chest.” He taps the top button of Ashton's dress shirt, and the superstar obliges. After brief consideration, Ash undoes the second button for a casual flare, and Wally hypes him up with a lighthearted whistle. “Ooh, he's serious!” the stylist gabs under his breath, and Ash laughs.

A little over an hour later, Ashton meets Ms. Dee inside the theatre doors, greeting crew as they come funneling inside. The lights are way down low, so Ash almost doesn’t notice Julian come sprinting through the double doors, looking like a precious little gentleman in a dapper black suit. Out of costume, he still resembles Gou, only his eyes are a deep green instead of blue. Ash briefly remembers the green-eyed Pikachu from his nightmare and swallows.

Fortunately, Julian is adorably distracting enough to bring Ash back to the present. He must have finally learned to ask for hugs, because he’s holding his arms high over his head and bouncing on his toes.

“C'mere, you little monster,” Ash laughs, hoisting Julian into his arms and spinning him around. The junior actor squeals in delight, hugging tight before Ash sets him back down. “So, first wrap party, huh? You excited or what?”

“Yeah!” Julian's verdant eyes wander around the decadently ornate theatre for a second before blinking up at Ash again. “When's dinner? I'm hungry.”

His mom sighs in exasperation behind him as Ash stifles a laugh. This kid’s more like Ash Ketchum than he is. “Right after the show, bud. Can you wait an hour?”

“Ehh, I guess!” Julian answers chipperly, and Ash rewards him with a little hair ruffle. The boy's mother takes his hand and leads him to their seats as Ash waves after them.

When the Director's voice behind him calls out, “Congratulations, Gou! Welcome to your first wrap party!” Ashton turns around breathlessly.

Gou’s standing across the room in a three-piece tailored suit, burgundy, with a silky black shirt and tie. Ash openly stares, totally taken aback by the effect Gou's formalwear is having on him.

Then a second figure comes in after him, still slightly obscured from Ash's view in the dark. It looks like he's wearing the same color scheme as Gou, with an artsy blazer and stylish, pinstripe slacks.

Gou's friend.

His hopeless crush and co-star smiles as he introduces the other boy to Ms. Dee, but his voice is too soft to hear over the buzz of the crowd inside.

Ashton fiddles nervously with his cuffs again as the stranger steps closer to shake the director’s hand like a perfect gentleman. He says something that makes Ms. Delia smile, followed by something that makes Gou blush. The fretful actor elbows him, and he just grins.

As Ash comes striding closer, he catches Ms. Delia saying, “—I’ll ask the writers if they can work you into a cameo. I can’t make any promises, but I think we can work something out.”

(WHAT?!)

Ash gapes at his director as Gou’s friend beams back at her, shaking her hand again fervently.

(No way.) He can’t seriously be that charismatic—

Desperate to finally meet this charming jerk, Ash strides closer and taps Gou on the shoulder, struggling to face his co-star with a smile.

“Hey, Gou! Nice suit,” Ash comments, admiring the way it compliments his slender figure. The color pairs really well with his eyes.

“Thanks, Ash— you too,” Gou murmurs, looking down as he tugs on his collar. “I’ve never worn something like this before.”

“You look great.” Ash’s eyes flicker back at Gou’s friend and Ms. Dee as they’re wrapping up.

Gou just evades the compliment with a nervous chuckle as he tries to adjust the fit of his tie. Noticing his co-star struggling with the knot, Ash steps forward to fix it, smiling as the boy’s breath hitches beneath his fingers. He isn’t sure what’s come over him— A genuine wish to help? An excuse to get closer? Or maybe Ash is pulling a possessive stunt to make Gou’s boyfriend jealous.

(Honestly, all three)

“I saved us a couple seats toward the back…” He says casually, side-eyeing Gou’s plus one as he pulls the tie snug against Gou’s collar. Their outfits are definitely color coordinated, like a team-- (or dates to Prom.) “…Is he your friend?”

Gou clears his throat and says, “Ah, yeah— Don't you recognize him—?”

Bracing himself to behave cordially, Ash looks over as Gou’s dear friend finally approaches him with a grin, coming in for a friendly handshake. “Heeey, Ash, it’s been a while!” he chimes, “Remember me?”

Ash blinks back at his old friend and Pokémon co-star, Todd.

Four years older and many inches taller, now, but it’s undoubtedly him, with those signature auburn curls and sweet, gray eyes. Same big smile. All this time, Ash couldn’t recognize his voice; it’s dropped into a much lower, boyish register.

“Gou!!” Ash hollers, totally taken aback. “You didn’t tell me your friend was Todd!”

Gou’s brow furrows slightly and he tilts his head. “…I… didn’t…?”

Todd’s jaw drops as he whirls on Gou too. “Wait— You never even mentioned my name?“

Gou starts to sweat, his eyes darting wildly between Ash and Todd. “But, I, uh— I thought I…?” His gaze stops on Ash, totally confused. “You said…”

“Unbelievable,” Todd scoffs, then, turning back to Ash, he says, “You wanna guess who sent him the casting call and convinced him to try out in the first place?”

(Oh, god, it all makes sense now—)

Gou was excited to tell him they had a mutual friend. They met at an acting class. Back when Ash was 10, he and Todd starred together on the first season of the show. They became fast friends, but they only kept Todd's character around for a few episodes, and they lost touch. During their time together, Ash signed a shirt for Todd’s friend because he was too anxious to visit the studio himself. (Gou still has the shirt.) Gou loves Pokémon Paparazzi and Pokémon Snap because of him.

While Ash is still reeling from all his revelations, Gou groans, hiding in his hands. “I knew you were gonna hold that over my head.”

“‘But Toddddd~” the artist taunts, mimicking Gou with an exaggerated, anxious voice. He slings an easy arm around Gou’s shoulders, shaking his friend around a little. “What’s the point~? It’s not like I’ll actually get the part~~! Why bother~~~?”

Ash laughs, carefully watching them all the while as Gou starts blushing beet red. “Please, stop! You’re embarrassing me…”

“Oh, you’re too cool to be seen with me now that you’re ~famous~? Huh? Is that it?” Todd gripes playfully, pulling Gou into a headlock and pinching his cheek.

“Ah! No! I swear I mentioned you…!” Gou grovels, wrestling Todd away.

Ashton bites his lip nervously as he watches their affectionate antics, eventually cutting in with, “Well, I can’t thank you enough, Todd…” and both boys stop to look up at him. He smiles. “Gou’s been such a great partner.”

If Gou catches the earnest glimmer in his eyes, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he looks down as he squeaks, “You said you saved us seats?” in a tone begging Ash to stop saying nice things about him.

Todd shares a knowing look with Ash, reminding him just how close they must be, and Ash smirks back nervously, leading them to the back row. With all the excitement of meeting him again, he almost forgot the Todd he saw last year was totally in love with Gou, and from what he can tell now, he still is.

(Just like you)

Ash almost trips up the theatre steps in front of everyone as he realizes what his inner monologue just said.

(Love?)

(No.)

(No, no, no, nono.)

He looks at Gou next to him, oblivious to the feelings churning around inside his body. Gou smiles back right as the lights all fade out. Pockets of the crowd start to giggle with anticipation as a hush falls over the theatre, and the first episode begins.

—

“It’s my reality, my future! And I can hold that future in the palm of my hand!”

The crowd erupts into a joyous, celebratory applause as the credits roll on episode one. Next to Gou, Todd reaches over, shaking him with excitement. “That was so awesome, Gou!”

Gou laughs and rubs the back of his head sheepishly, “It was just one line…”

“Yeah, and you nailed it,” Ash grins as Gou blushes and sinks back in his seat, but it soon fades as he realizes Gou looks distinctly uncomfortable. Todd catches Ash’s eye with another one of those knowing looks, like they’re the only two people in the world who understand Gou’s odd aversion to praise and compliments. Then his old co-star laughs, giving Gou’s shoulder a proud, hearty clap. A jealous twinge happens somewhere in Ash’s guts as he forces his eyes back to the big screen.

Throughout the next episode, Ash keeps stealing glances at Gou, hoping to catch a proud smile, a nostalgic laugh, or any trace of joy in his expression, but nothing comes. Gou’s eyes are fixed straight ahead, and his neutral visage keeps teetering on the verge of a frown. Ash almost doesn’t notice in the dark, but toward the end of the episode, he sees the junior star is clenching his arm rest like it’s a lifeline.

Gently leaning over, Ash gives him a small nudge and whispers, “Hey… is something wrong?”

The junior star just smiles warily back at him, tugging nervously at his collar. His hand is shaking.

“It’s a world full of dreams, adventure, and Pokemon— so let’s go! As the journey continues.”

“Gou, do you —“ Ash starts, but the second the credits roll, Gou suddenly stands.

“Excuse me,” he murmurs, skirting around Todd in his haste to head down the steps.

“Gou!” Ash is on his feet in an instant, but so is Todd, and they bounce hard into each other, clacking heads.

“Ow!” Todd steadies him, rubbing his head and looking totally bewildered. “Why’d Gou run off like that—?”

“I don’t know,” Ash answers impatiently, shouldering past him and weaving through the growing throng of people naturally moving in a single file line down the stairs. Up ahead, Gou is already slipping through the exit doors.

By the time Ash makes it there, he only just catches a flash of Gou’s burgundy suit disappearing around the corner of the hall into a private dining room. He runs as fast as he can, and Todd’s right behind him.

Ash skids to a stop in the dining room’s doorway, his heart racing. There, in the corner, Gou’s huddled over his knees, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and sobbing like he’s drowning. Todd falls in line next to Ash, tensing at the sight of his friend on the floor.

“Gou, what…?” Todd starts, completely taken aback.

“Stay with him,” Ashton orders, already turning on his heels.

“What?” Todd’s attention tears in two as his wide eyes follow Ash. “Where are you going—?”

Ash doesn’t stick around to answer him, running back into the main banquet area, where several tables are ready and set for dinner. He grabs the first glass of ice water he sees and runs back.

When he arrives on the scene again, Todd is kneeling in front of Gou, holding both of the boy’s hands and trying to make him stand up.

“Don’t try to move him.” Ash says as he drops to his knees in front of Gou, taking over. For a second, Todd looks like he wants to argue, but something about Ashton's presence must convince him to sit back. “Gou, you’re gonna be okay. I got you some ice.” He gently opens Gou’s shaking palm, placing an ice cube in it and wrapping his own hand around Gou’s fingers. “Do you feel it…? Feel my hand. Feel the floor under your feet...”

He's trying to ground Gou, but it doesn’t work; the panicking boy just makes a strangled sob against his knees.

“Something’s wrong,” Gou cries, dropping the ice and recoiling further into himself. “I can’t breathe.”

"Should I go get his parents--?" Todd pulls out his phone, looking like he's starting to panic himself. "O-or call 911?"

Ash sternly but calmly answers, "No." holding out his hand to stop Todd from dialing anyone. The last thing Gou needs right now is an audience. Turning to Gou again, he says, ”Hey. I promise you’re gonna be okay. Try to take a big, deep breath, if you can, like this–” Ash takes an exaggerated breath in, through his nose, holding it for a beat, and out, through his mouth.

Gou whispers something unintelligible between hyperventilating gasps, tugging fruitlessly at his tie and collar like they’re strangling him.

“Hold this,” Ash hands the ice water to Todd, who’s so busy staring at Gou, he almost fumbles it. Ash tries to calm his own heavy breaths as he leans closer, carefully prying off Gou’s cold hands, unfurling Gou’s tie, and pulling the top three buttons of his dress shirt loose. Then he places his hands, still cold from holding the frosty glass, across both sides of Gou’s neck, and the boy takes a huge, stuttering gasp. This seems to reset his breathing, because he takes some more huge breaths, his ribcage shuddering at the peak of every inhale. Ash guides him through a few more deep breaths as Gou stares back at him like he just brought Gou back from the veil of death itself.

“In through your nose……….Out through your mouth……….there you go, you’ve got it,” he smiles, giving Gou’s nape a reassuring squeeze.

Gou swallows back tears as his breathing gradually levels out and the light returns to his eyes. “Ash— I’m so sorry— ” he finally whispers, his posture wilting with shame. He tries to push Ash away, but his hands are still weak and shaky. “Go back to the party—“

“Shh,” Ash smiles to let him know everything is okay. His hands are still on Gou’s neck, naturally starting to warm up again as the color returns to Gou’s face. The recovering boy gazes back at him, lips wobbling. Then, with no warning, he suddenly ducks forward, throwing his arms around Ash's shoulders and hugging him tight. He's still hiccuping as he breathes, but at least he's breathing.

“Thank you…” He weeps, sounding genuinely grateful to be alive. “Thank you.”

Todd sits back with a deep, discomforted frown as he watches all of this happen. When he catches Ash’s eye, he mouths, “what just happened?” and Ash shakes his head. This isn’t the time for any explanations. Gou just needs to hold something right now.

Ash wishes he could ask Gou questions, too. Why did the premiere trigger a panic attack in him? Ash thought both episodes were fantastic. Was there something about seeing the finished episode that made it feel too real? Was the crowd and applause too overwhelming? Or was it something else entirely?

After a minute of quiet, Gou pulls away with a sniffle, looking thoroughly mortified with himself. His movements are still shaky and disjointed as he tries to stand, and both Ash and Todd offer him a hand up while the latter steadies him.

“I need a minute...” Gou mumbles, wiping his eyes.

Todd murmurs, “Sure,” rubbing circles on his back. "Let's get some air."

All three of them are heading toward the nearest exit when some of the crew and their plus ones spot Ashton, calling out to him, excited to congratulate him and shower him in praises. Thankfully, Todd takes the reins and ushers Gou away before anyone can see the state he’s in.

“Hey, everyone!” Ash calls out cheerily, leading the crowd away with one of his perfect smiles. “Thank you so much!”

—

Once Ash feels he’s mingled sufficiently enough, he breaks away from the crowd at the first chance he gets, leaving the way Todd and Gou went. For a moment, he can’t find them anywhere outside, and Ash wonders if Todd whisked him away from all the pressure of the premiere. They could be halfway home by now.

Just when he’s lost hope, he hears voices in the alley around the corner.

“Are you…unhappy—?” Todd asks, his voice cracking sadly, “Being on the show?”

Ash only hears his own heart thudding in his chest when Gou doesn’t answer. Todd continues, his voice low. “I know people online can be really cruel, but— I thought you were at least— happy to be a part of the production... Do you…wish you’d never taken the role?”

Todd must be feeling like all of this is his fault, since he’s the one who sent Gou the opportunity in the first place. Ash frowns.

Stepping cautiously around the corner, he finds them just in time to see Gou pulling Todd into a warm, intimate embrace. Todd’s arms snake around his back, holding fast.

Still hugging his friend, Gou murmurs, “It’s not your fault I’ve got a messed up head,” and Todd shakes with one laugh in his arms. “I’ve been…struggling, a little, yeah, but… you’re right, I love this production, and everyone in it. I’ve been learning so much, too. Without you, I never would’ve met all these great people, or traveled to all these amazing places…”

One of Todd’s hands rubs a circle over Gou’s back as he says, “You’re not just saying that to make me feel better, are you?”

“No, I mean it. Honest,” Gou replies, finally pulling away. For far too long a moment, both of them just look at each other, smiling like they’re the center of each other’s worlds.

Ash takes a shaky step back, realizing he doesn’t want to be seeing this anymore. But his shoe skids over some gravel, and the sound alerts Gou. The star turns, immediately taking his hands back. “Oh, hey, Ash.”

Todd turns around too, saying nothing.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to, um, interrupt…” Ash mutters, rubbing the underside of his nose. “They’re gonna start dinner soon, so, I was just coming to get you guys.”

“Right— Thanks— Just a sec—” Gou stammers. Todd watches his friend with a curious expression as the boy nervously plays with his collar again. “Todd, do you want to stay? It’s okay, if…”

“Of course I’m staying! The party hasn’t even started,” Throwing a flirty arm around Gou’s shoulders, he adds, “You promised me dinner, after all…”

Seeing the way Gou shoves back at him with a hearty laugh sends a tremoring, jealous pang through Ashton’s whole chest. It’s almost like his bloodstream starts simmering as he takes in the sight of them, looking so perfect and comfortable together.

Ash doesn’t wait around for them to remember he exists. Without another word, he turns around and hurries back inside.

Chapter Text

—

Month 9 - July

—

Two weeks after they wrapped filming, and one week since the show was released out into the world, Ashton, Gou, and Chloe were called back to the set to shoot some promo materials together.

Ash comes strolling over to meet Gou, expecting his co-star to hear his footfall and turn around. But Gou just has his nose in his phone, frowning as he scrolls and scrolls through an endless thread of comments.

Gou still hasn’t noticed him, even as he peers over the boy’s shoulder to read his screen.

@championash

UGHH GOH IS THE WORST COMPANION YET!!!!! #PkmnJourneys

⬆️⬇️

(Oh, no, not this again—)

Before Gou’s thumb can make another flick, Ash reaches over his shoulder and snatches his phone away. With a start, Gou's eyes snap at him. “Hey!”

“How many times do I have to tell you?” Ash sighs, his tone admonishing. “Reading these will only make you feel terrible.”

“They're not all bad…” Gou grumbles, and Ash side-eyes him. “Give me back my phone.”

“No phones allowed on set,” Ash wills himself not to smile as he turns and walks away with it. Gou scoffs and steps after him.

“Ash!” He growls, wrestling against his co-star’s arms. “C’mon.”

He's a much different Gou than the one he met about half a year ago, back when Ashton first confiscated Gou's phone like this. Ash's glad his co-star feels comfortable enough with him to wrestle back now.

“I’m serious!” Ash tries to sound it, but he can’t help the smile blooming in his face as Gou grapples at his shirt, pawing at his arms and lunging over his shoulders. A laugh peals out of him as he dances just out of Gou’s reach, taunting Gou to try harder.

“Keep-away? Really?” Gou stops and crosses his arms, leveling Ashton with an irritated glare. “What are you, 10?”

Ash can’t help but tease him, dangling his phone in the space between them. Gou’s mature demeanor goes up in smoke a split second before he makes a feral swipe for it. Thankfully, Ash prides himself on his quick reflexes, twirling just out of Gou’s reach.

“Why are you—doing this—?” Gou grunts, getting increasingly worked up with every passing second. Ash is vaguely aware of the fact that he’s tugging on Gou’s pigtails— (Maybe you are still 10, Ash) — but he’s enjoying the scene too much, playing with a new side of Gou, wondering how far he can push him. The other boy isn’t terribly strong, but he’s tenacious, switching up his strategies and surprising Ash with an amateur headlock maneuver. Even with Gou’s arm constricting around his neck, Ashton giggles, easily reaching behind himself to poke Gou’s stomach.

Gou must be ticklish there, because he screams a noise of shock, falling back into a PA that happened to be walking past them at the worst possible moment. Ash barely manages to catch Gou’s body and pull him back before his momentum can knock the poor young woman off her feet. She yelps, skidding to one side and barely fixing her stance in time to catch the heavy equipment rattling in her arms.

The woman breathes a sigh of relief, then, whirling on them, she snaps, “Hey! Do you have any idea how much these cost to replace??!”

Gou immediately flinches into a repenting bow, turning red with shame. “I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Stifling a fit of snickers, Ash adds, “Yeah, We’re sorry.” When Gou realizes Ash is laughing, he throws an elbow into Ash’s ribs. “Ow!” The PA rolls her eyes and carries on her way as Ash grins and playfully shoves back at him in retaliation.

“Boys!” Ms. Dee’s voice suddenly comes booming across the room through her megaphone, stern and loud. “This isn’t a playground. If you’re gonna roughhouse, take it outside.”

Chloe, the photographer, and several assistants around the room look up at them, and Ash laughs bashfully, scratching his head. He supposes he deserved that.

(But Gou doesn’t—)

By the time he looks back, Gou is already gone, the back doors slamming shut behind him.

Ash curses to himself and chases Gou into the hall, still holding Gou’s phone. Gou spares him a glance over his shoulder before picking up his pace.

(Oh, no. He’s actually mad) Ash realizes, hurrying to close the gap between them. He gently reaches out, stopping Gou around his arm. “Gou, wait— I’m sorry. Here,” he murmurs, finally handing Gou’s phone back to him.

Gou’s eyes flick down, hesitantly, like he’s afraid Ash is just taunting him again. With a sharp swipe, he grabs it back. “...You didn’t look very sorry in there.”

“I’m sorry if I embarrassed you.” Ash answers sheepishly. Gou’s glare on him doesn’t waver. “But don’t worry. Ms. Dee isn’t actually mad.”

He flashes Gou his best, I’m-really-really-sorry-please-forgive-me movie star smile, rocking on his heels and toes. It isn’t long before Gou’s hard glare starts to relax, the lip of his frown naturally falling open, and Ash can tell his charms are working. But Gou is still acting stubborn, turning away with a scoff.

Ash’s smile widens. Nudging Gou, he says, ”Seriously, though— no more scrolling through all those tags, okay?”

Gou’s eyes flash with alarm as he backs away from Ash. “But— I just want to see the nice things people are saying about the show…” he murmurs wearily, leaning back against the wall. “I want to know……” he stops, breaking his gaze away from Ash with a frown and shaking his head. “……Nevermind. Just forget it.”

Ash watches him carefully, trying to piece together what Gou isn’t telling him. It makes sense that Gou wants to know how people are receiving the show— but… from the way he’s speaking, it sounds like he feels responsible for it.

Another one of those protective waves swirls around inside of Ash as he pulls out his own phone, searching up the Journeys tag. “Okay… Here. Let me vet them for you.”

“Huh?” Gou startles when he realizes what Ash is doing. “Wait—“

“I LOVE Pokémon Journeys,” Ash reads, “I’m really enjoying the new cast so far.”

“Seriously, Ash, you don’t have to—“

Ignoring Gou, Ash continues scrolling. “Goh’s my new favorite companion. I’m looking forward to seeing more of his story… I can’t wait for tonight’s episode! …I wasn’t sure how I was gonna feel about the show introducing another protagonist, but the actor playing Goh is doing a really great job so far. I love his synergy with Ash……”

Gou grumbles, but he lets Ash keep reading. “I wanna be Goh’s friend……I’m gonna make all my friends watch #PokemonJourneys with me……This might be my favorite season yet.”

Ashton feels Gou watching him, so he keeps his face neutral, even as he scrolls past some comments that make his blood start to boil. He’s been purposely avoiding social media all month long for this very reason, knowing full well how cruel and unusual the world can be, but he’s genuinely taken aback by some of the comments he’s seeing.

Hateful rants about Gou’s character… Criticisms of his face, voice, and body… Emasculating comments on his mannerisms… Unfounded rumors surrounding his gender identity— and subsequent backlash to those insinuations. Ash grits his back teeth as he scrolls past an unhinged 12-part thread about how woke culture and the trans agenda are ruining Pokémon.

Is this the garbage Gou’s been reading all morning? Ash’s heart aches to think Gou’s been internalizing so many hateful comments by himself.

“…You’ve been scrolling for a while…” Gou murmurs anxiously.

“Don’t worry about it,” Ash says quickly, thumbing past another thread of toxic nonsense. (Stay focused.) He finally finds another sweet comment that brings a genuine smile to his face. “…Ha, This one’s cute. My little sister is really loving the new season of Pokemon. She said I remind her of Goh, because I’m ‘smart and pretty,’ but I ‘should have way more friends.’ I’m not sure how to feel about that, but I think it was a compliment.”

A small, warm chuckle finally hums past Gou’s lips, and Ash smiles triumphantly.

“I looooove Goh~” Ash teases, his eyes flicking up to see Gou’s reaction. “heart heart heart heart heart heart heart.” 

“Okay, I’ve heard enough, you can stop now,” Gou blushes profusely, hiding behind one of his hands.

Ash’s laugh dies in his throat as his eye catches another comment thread with a surprising number of views

@420blaziken
There’s no heterosexual explanation for the chemistry Ash and Goh have

⬆️⬇️

yessss thats what im sayingggg

Goh totally has a crush on Ash and I am so here for it💕💕💕

Has anyone else noticed how physically affectionate Ash is with Goh especially? I don’t remember him touching any of his other companions so much.

They sure are standing next to each other. (And hugging.) (And smiling.) (And staring lovingly into one another’s eyes)

I SHIP THEM SO HARD ALSKSDJSKFHGG

omg what if the actors like each other/jkjk /unless…

 

“Ash? Please stop. I don’t want you to keep reading bad stuff…” Gou insists, appearing in front of him with a frown.

“Huh? Oh,” Ash hurries to pocket his phone, smiling innocently. “It wasn’t anything bad.”

“…What was it?” Gou asks, looking curious now.

The superstar just laughs, skipping backward on his heels. “We should really be getting back— You coming?”

Ash makes a break for the studio before Gou can ask any more questions.

—

“Oh good, you’re just in time,” Ms. Dee calls, beckoning the boys to join Chloe on the greenscreen.

Behind him, Gou clenches and unclenches his hands a few times, casting subtly nervous looks at all the big, flashy photography equipment.

“Don’t worry, just trust the photographer,” Ash gives Gou a reassuring smile, and Gou returns it in kind. But the unexpected sound of the photographer’s shutter snapping up the moment without warning makes him jump.

Sensing Gou’s tension, Ash throws a brotherly arm around him and aims a guts pose right at the camera. “Just pretend we’re the Cerise Institute research fellows posing for-- The Vermilion Times!“

Gou quirks a brow at him but plays along, giving the cameraman his best smile. Between flashes of blinding white light, he grits through his teeth, “You just made that up.”

“Duh.”

Ashton smiles fondly as Gou cracks up a little. “I guess we are kind of a big deal,” he says with a smug lilt to his tone, and Ash can tell he’s slipping into his character.

Ash replies with an enthusiastic “Yeah!” while pulling him a little closer and squeezing his shoulder. Gou puffs out his chest and stands a little taller.

Even when he and Ash separate to take some individual portraits, Gou leans into that pretense of confidence, all the while listening closely to the photographer’s directions. As a result, the camera loves him, bringing out the best in all his angles. Ashton finds himself mesmerized by Gou’s modelesque poise and the way he blinks his long, perfect eyelashes. His co-star keeps a straight face as the photographer gushes with a never ending stream of encouraging compliments, but there's a small blush building in Gou's cheeks that only makes him look even more endearing.

“Wonderful!” Their cameraman chimes, quickly reviewing the shots. Then he waves to his assistants, who carry in a table decorated with all sorts of cutesy, aesthetic sweets— cake rolls, macarons, scones, flans, cookies, and donuts.

One of the assistants gives Gou a fake cake topped with strawberries, and Gou chuckles at how light it feels in his hands. “What’s all this for?”

”Who knows,” Ash laughs. “Just roll with it.”

After some shots of the boys looking starry-eyed with all the sweets, Ash mischievously moves closer, grabbing a chocolate donut from the display and flourishing it to Gou’s lips. His co-star squeaks a small note of surprise as the glaze grazes his bottom lip.

“Say ahhh~!” Ashton flirts, beaming at the flush it brings to Gou’s cheeks. He expects the boy to scoff and push him away, but Gou’s wide eyes just flit between the donut, the photographer, and Ash with mild apprehension before he actually lets his mouth drop open.

“ahh…” he echoes weakly, his cocky bravado from before all gone now. Ash smiles and winks as he treats Gou to a big bite. Homph.

Gou’s blue eyes fly open the moment he starts chewing, and he pauses, looking disturbed.

(Uh oh)

The man photographing them bursts out laughing. “Uhh… It’s technically edible, but it probably doesn't taste very good, huh?”

(OH NO)

Ashton didn't realize all the food was fake. He looks down at the perfectly textured donut in his hands, feeling betrayed by his own eyes. Before Ash can properly apologize, Gou swallows thickly with a bitter shiver, glaring at his co-star all the while. Man, he just keeps messing up with Gou today.

(Well— here goes.) Ash thinks, scrunching his eyes and taking a huge bite in solidarity.

“Wh—? What are you doing?!” Gou hisses, watching him chew with a horrified look on his face. "Didn't you hear what he just said??"

Behind him, Chloe scrunches her nose in stoic disgust, and a couple of the PAs and assistants start giggling.

It certainly doesn't taste good, but it's not too revolting. Like salty bread covered in chocolate flavored glue and watered down glycerin. Still, it takes him a second to find the composure to swallow it. All the while, Gou’s expression is just bewildered.

(What are you doing, Ash?) 

Their photographer looks equal parts amused and confused with Ashton’s pointless, boyish stunt. “Er…glad we're having fun, but let's try not to eat any more of the displays. Anyway, Ashton, I want some more shots of you with those scones. Chloe, you’re on deck—“

Looking thankful for a reprieve, Gou breaks away from Ash’s hold on him, fanning his collar. “All these lights are so warm,” he mumbles, grabbing a nearby water bottle and taking a big, long swig. Ash watches the apple of Gou’s throat bob with the motion, wishing he could take the camera and capture that moment for himself.

“—ton? Are you listening?” The photographer snaps his fingers impatiently, and Ashton startles back to his directions.

—

Month 10 - August

—

With their hiatus between seasons coming to an end soon, some of the cast decided to organize a beach day.

Ashton's car ran late with traffic, so he’s hustling down the boardwalk, shouldering his cooler of snacks. There's extra freeze pops and sandwiches inside, just in case he gets a chance to share with Gou.

He trots across the hot sand on his way to the others, holding a hand over his eyes to block out the beaming sun. He sees Leon and Raihan strolling through the water… Koko and Mumu lounging back on their beach chairs… Sonia, Chloe, Parker, and Mimi tossing a beach ball over by the volley nets. His feet start to sting as he scans up and down the coast for Gou. (He said he would come, right?)

He finally spots Gou under a large umbrella up ahead, sitting criss-cross on a beach blanket. As usual, he’s huddled over his phone. The rising star is still wearing his shirt, apparently content in the shade. Ash wonders if he’s too shy to join the others.

As Ash comes running closer, his footsteps drowned out by the crash of the waves ahead, he hears a cutesy pop song playing through Gou’s phone. By the time he’s close enough to see Gou’s screen, the boy still hasn’t noticed him. Not wishing to interrupt, Ash glances curiously at the music video, and he almost chokes on air.

Gou’s watching an edit of their characters, shipping their characters, complete with transitions, hearts, sparkles, and more. In the scene where Ash and Goh hug each other with fright, the artist edited blushes and swirling hearts all around them.

Ashton can’t stifle his fit of snickers any longer as a transition ushers in the chorus of a love song, and Gou whirls around, looking utterly mortified to see him.

“Oh my god, Ash,” Gou throws his phone down before he realizes the music is still playing, and he scrambles to turn it off, furiously swiping the tab away. All the while, Ash is just beaming.

(Oh, this is gonna be good)

“It’s—It’s not what you think, I wasn’t—” Gou flounders, flushing red as a sunburn. He waves his hands out in front of him, frantically signaling a misunderstanding. “Todd sent that to me, a-as a joke. I didn’t know what I was clicking on,” he stammers, his wide eyes begging Ashton to understand.

Ash painfully stifles another laugh and just says, ”Oh, I see.”

Gou’s eyes widen before he keens into his knees, wildly gripping at his hair with both hands. He’s mumbling something about Todd, every sound dripping with murderous intent, when Ash moves closer, crouching next to him and bouncing on his heels.

He looks… genuinely upset. Is he just embarrassed Ash caught him? Or is he upset Todd sent him that video in the first place?

Gou knows some fans are bound to ‘ship’ them, right?

Does being forced to acknowledge that… make him uncomfortable?

Ashton remembers the first time he stumbled across fanart about him. People were primarily shipping him with Misty, but also Gary, and even side characters like Todd Snap. He was still on his own journey of self discovery— only 11— so imagine how alarming and frustrating it was to see fully rendered illustrations of him being held like a fairytale princess in Gary’s arms, receiving a tender kiss in the moonlight.

He remembers thinking, (Ugh! Gross!) but he couldn’t tear his eyes away.

Once when he was 12 going on 13, he showed a particularly amateur drawing of them to Gary, hoping to get some sort of rise out of him— Shock? Disgust? Embarrassment? Instead, his co-star just kept an infuriatingly straight face as he took Ash’s phone in his hands for a closer look.

“Someone has too much free time on their hands,” Gary teased, smirking back up at him.

“Oh, shut up,” Ash snapped, looking away and crossing his arms. “It just happened to show up on my—“

“ASH AND GARY FAN ART. ASH X GARY FANART,” Gary read aloud, his grin spreading wider with every second. “ASH GARY SHIP ART SEXY.”

Realizing Garrett was reading his search history, Ashton desperately lunged for his phone, but Gary kept him at arm’s length, rattling off his embarrassingly long list of searches.

“PALLET SHIPPING ART. PALLETSHIPPING KISS. ASH GARY KISSING SHIRTLESS—“

“GARY!!!” Ash screamed, slapping at his head and clawing at his arms.

“If you wanted to see pictures of me shirtless so bad, you could’ve just asked,” Gary whispered, reveling in Ash’s fury.

“Shove it!!” the red-faced tween hissed back, finally snatching the phone out of his crush’s hand. “I was only laughing at those!”

“Oh, Ashley… do you need me to teach you how to use incognito?” Gary asked, almost genuinely, but the wicked curve to lips gave him away. As Ashton fled for his trailer, flipping the bird over his shoulder, Garrett called after him loud enough for a radius of the crew to hear: “Pro tip— you’ll get better results if you turn your safe-search off!”

Ash suppresses a shudder at the memory, redirecting his attention to Gou, still curled up in shame beside him. He won’t be as ruthless as Gary was.

“…Does it bother you?” Ashton asks gently, craning forward to see Gou’s reaction.

Gou’s face pops back up, eyes wild, hair messed, cheeks burning. “Huh?”

“Seeing fans ‘ship’ us...” Ash clarifies, dragging his fingers through the sand. “…Does it bother you?”

Gou smiles before buzzing his lips together like the question amuses him. “Bother? Me? No. I m-mean, I don’t care.” He starts to lose his composure again as Ash gazes through the windows into his soul, struggling to decipher Gou’s real feelings. Gou must feel Ash searching his eyes, because he closes them, shrugs, and crosses his arms. “Comes with the territory, right?”

“That’s true,” Ash murmurs, leaning back. At least Gou understands that much. There’s nothing either of them can do to stop fans from indulging in their imaginations.

They watch the seafoam waves crash and lap against the shore together as an awkward silence stretches between them.

“Does it…“ Gou pipes up, keeping his gaze fixed on the ocean ahead of them. “…bother you?”

Ash looks back at him, surprised. He thought for sure Gou was going to drop the subject. When Gou looks up again, his expression is still embarrassed, but mostly marked with genuine concern. He must be imagining all the ways fans have spun Ash into an object of desire over the years.

That, or he's concerned Ash finds it bothersome being “shipped” with him in particular.

“AaAshton, GouUu!” Chloe suddenly calls out from across the beach, bouncing a volleyball in her hands. “C’mon!”

Ash flashes his co-star an easygoing smile as he stands up and dusts some of the sand off his hands.

“With you? Not at all.” After all, he’s their biggest fan.

In one fluid motion, Ash peels off his t-shirt and tosses it next to Gou and his cooler on the blanket. He only takes another second to delight in Gou's stunned expression before he laughs and takes off running toward the others.

—

Chapter Text

SEASON TWO

—

Month 11 - September

—

Ashton is happy to be back in the studio on their first day of season 2. After spending so much of their hiatus apart, he can’t wait to see Gou again.

On the way inside, he catches a glimpse of Mx. Turo in the waiting area. “Oh, hey, Mx. Tee!”

His therapist turns around, greeting him with a warm smile. “Hey, Ashton! Good to see you.”

“You too! It’s been a while.” He hasn’t had an appointment with Mx. Tee since last summer.

The former actor nods in agreement. “It sure has. But I suppose that’s a good thing,” They chuckle, giving their graduate a proud smirk.

Ash smiles. “So, what brings you to the set today?” Mx. Tee usually stays in their office at one of the other studio buildings, so it’s odd to see them here.

“You know I legally cannot answer that,” The professional answers matter-of-factly, but they’re smiling.

That phrase has become sort of an inside joke between them— 12 year old Ashton used to ask all sorts of curious and nosy questions about Mx. Tee’s history and clientele. Ash could never get them to crack.

“Let me know if you’d like to catch up sometime. My office hours are open all week.”

“Cool. I might take you up on that.”

Checking their watch, Mx. Tee starts to head toward Director Delia’s office. “Alright— I should get going. ¡Cuídese!”

“See ya!”

With a hearty wave goodbye, Ash carries on his way to the trailer. Along the walk, he smiles down at the texts from Gou still open on his phone:

GOU 

Today (8:09 am)

you excited to be back or what😎😎

Yeah! I was starting to get antsy during the break.

Really looking forward to working with you again!

(8:10 am)

aww didya miss mee

jk

ive never met someone so eager to work lol

guess our job IS pretty cool 🎬

(8:11 am)

Yeah ^_^

I still feel so lucky to be part of all this.

were lucky to have you!

💗

Aah sorry. Wrong emoji -_-

✌🏽

😉💗💖❤️💕💘💞💖💕💓💗💞❤️💝

(8:13 am)

Shut up 💀

As he steps into his trailer, Ash has a moment of self reflection, wondering how long this crush on Gou is going to last. He really thought becoming friends with Gou— the real Gou— might help his feelings fade with time, but it’s only proven to do the opposite.

He’s always flirting in their texts like this. His eyes are constantly finding Gou first in a crowded room. His chest lights up with fireworks every time he gets Gou to smile back at him. And whenever he isn’t daydreaming of them together, he works himself into an envious spiral imagining Todd and Gou together instead.

More than once, Ashton has felt himself painfully yearning to spill out his feelings at the most random, inopportune moments. It took everything in his power not to confess to Gou the other day at the beach; strolling side by side down the sunset shore.

He's so absorbed in his thoughts, he only makes it halfway into his Ash costume before he hears a sharp knock at the door. A quick look through the peep hole reveals Gou standing on the other side.

Excited to see him, Ash swings open the door with a bright smile.

“Hey, Gou!” he chimes, leaning against his doorframe. Gou isn’t in costume yet, which is odd, since they’re expected on set in the next five minutes— but Ash isn’t thinking too hard about any of that. He’s just excited to see Gou wearing those cute glasses. “It’s so good to see you.” (More than good. Great. Wonderful.)

Gou doesn’t reply as he steps inside the small threshold, closing the door behind him. Ashton’s breath catches in his throat as Gou looks up, his uncharacteristically intense expression searching his eyes for something. Ash subconsciously backs into the wall, his heartrate picking up. “Uh… What’s up…?”

The other boy just turns and walks up the stairs into Ash’s half of the trailer, holding his arms as he starts pacing in circles. He looks… agitated. Really agitated.

“You’re the only person on set who, who knows, who knows about—” he says, his voice breaking with nerves. He spins around to face Ash, his expression pained. “Was it you? Or did you tell someone else?”

(…What?)

When Ash doesn’t know what to say to that, Gou makes a sharp noise of frustration as he goes back to pacing. “Well, someone told Ms. Dee I need a shrink.”

Ashton watches him, the words settling uneasily in his chest. (A shrink?)

“Do you mean… Mx. Turo?” Ash asks, rubbing his head.

Gou stops pacing to face Ash with a glare, huffing an angry sound of confirmation.

”Gou, I didn’t tell Ms. Dee anything—“

“—Right. You just asked her to ‘check on me’” Gou snaps, his voice rising as he claws the air with angry quote marks.

Ash has no idea where any of this is coming from. He thought Gou was in a good mood this morning, if their texts were any indication. What happened? Something’s setting Gou off in a way Ashton’s never seen before. Regardless— this truly has nothing to do with him.

“No,” he emphasizes stubbornly, holding Gou’s hard glare. “I didn’t tell her, or anyone, anything.”

He would never betray Gou’s trust like that. Sometimes he worries, sure, and if he thought Gou was in any sort of immediate danger, he wouldn’t hesitate to call for help. But sending the studio therapist to check on him with no warning— without even trying to talk to him about it? He would never do that.

Gou’s waterline is starting to shine under the trailer lights as he scoffs, and Ash’s heart sinks as he realizes Gou doesn’t believe him.

Without another word, Gou makes a break for the door.

(You can’t let him go like this) Ash thinks, his feet moving on their own. He cuts after Gou, throwing an arm out against the threshold wall to stop him, and the loud sound makes Gou jump.

Ash’s chest cinches again at the misty tears gathering in his wide eyes. Gou’s clearly feeling hurt right now, but his accusations really hurt, too.

They’re both kind of crammed in the small doorway again, only about a foot from each other’s faces. “I’m telling you the truth, Gou.” Ash murmurs, desperate for Gou to understand him.

Gou’s lip starts to wobble as his cheeks flush with frustration— or perhaps discomfort. The junior star looks away like he can’t stand to meet Ash’s eyes right now, just waiting for Ash to let him go.

Gritting a noise of frustration, Ash slowly takes his arm back, and Gou doesn’t waste another second in his trailer, storming away.

You’re the only person on set who knows, he said.

What did he mean by that? The only person who knows… that he hates compliments? That he struggles with anxiety? Or…that he panicked at the premiere?

It suddenly dawns on Ash: He’s not the only person with Ms. Dee’s contact who knows all that.

“Maybe you should be asking your friend about this!” he shouts after Gou, and the boy stops dead in his tracks. Without waiting for Gou to turn around, Ash slams his door closed, knocking his head against it with an angsty groan.

Logically, he knows Gou will come around eventually– probably– but right now… he just feels awful.

—

Ash and Gou both act like professionals throughout the day, performing well enough together, even if the air is tense. They’re mostly filming for filler episodes, anyway. Now that Gou’s had a few hours to cool down, Ash can tell he isn’t so angry anymore, but the boy still can’t meet his eyes between takes.

When Ms. Dee starts filming a Team Rocket trio scene, Gou decides he'd rather hang out with Chloe instead, leaving Ashton alone with his thoughts.

(Our first fight) Ash jokes dryly to himself, clenching his fists. This tension with Gou is driving him up the wall.

The lonely superstar finds himself wandering into his therapy office, rapping on the door with his knuckles. Mx. Tee looks up from their desk. “Hello! Come on in.” They must see the heartache clear as day on Ashton’s face, because they invite him into the lounge and close the door. “What’s up?”

Ashton deflates on the couch with a sigh. “Okay– So– D'you remember the last time we talked, when I was telling you about… that crush I had…?”

Mx. Tee hums as they take a seat across the way, sitting back with a notebook and crossing their legs. “The ‘beautiful guy’ you were following online?” Ash cringes and nods. “Yes, I recall— You were quite smitten with him. What about it?”

“What would you say, hypothetically, if… if I… actually met him?”

Ash opens his scrunched eyes in time to see Mx. Tee tilt their head curiously. “Did you? Face to face?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow. How did it feel, finally meeting the real version of him?” When Ash just blushes and clams up, Mx. Tee continues. “You probably built up a lot of expectations for him over time... Do you feel any differently now?”

“…He was a lot different than I was expecting, yeah… But…”

“—You still have feelings for him?”

Ash hangs his head in his hands with a groan of confirmation.

“Well– I know we've spoken quite a bit about your fears and frustrations regarding romance, since your situation unfortunately makes dating very complicated.” Mx. Tee twiddles a pen as they’re speaking and shrugs. “But from what you told me about this crush, he seems like a genuinely sweet guy. If you have a real shot with him, and he makes you happy— I don't see any reason why you shouldn’t try.”

Ash almost blurts a laugh.

“So, you met him— What happened next? Did you start seeing one another?”

“Uh… technically…?” Mx. Turo makes a gentle motion with their hand to coax Ash along. “Okay— We’ve been… ‘seeing‘ each other, yeah. Regularly. A lot. But… we’re not dating or anything like that.”

“So… you’re friends?”

“Mooore liiiike……” Ash stalls, grimacing up at the ceiling. “……Co-workers…?”

The pen in Mx. Tee’s hand goes still. Ash can see their gears turning as they echo, “Co-workers.”

“...”

Mx. Tee slowly sets their pen and notebook down, clasping both hands in front of them while they mask their shock with professional composure. “Ashton.”

“I KNOW!!” Ash throws himself back on the couch in melodramatic despair. “I know…! It’s the biggest rookie mistake in the book. I know I can’t ask him out. I tried getting over him, I swear. But I can’t!”

Mx. Tee gently opens their mouth to speak when Ash suddenly grabs one of their throw pillows to muffle a scream. “—aHHH! I thought I could handle it, but the thought of someone else dating him literally makes me sick! And now he can’t even look at me because he thinks I’m the one who sent you to check on him—!”

Ash hides his face in the pillow as Mx. Tee’s expression goes on a subtle but eventful journey. “That’s— Uhm…”

“You’ve gotta tell him it wasn’t me.” Ash pops back up, practically steaming. “It was Todd, wasn’t it? I know it was!”

“Ashton...” Mx. Tee scratches their jawline nervously, and Ash knows exactly what they’re going to say. I legally cannot answer that.

“Ughhh…! Now we're fighting, and he’s acting like he hates me. He’s totally driving me crazy. I don’t know what to do…!” Ash confesses, looking desperately up at his therapist for all the answers. “He’s always making me so jealous, and anxious, and… and I think… I think I might really be in love with-“

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, let’s slow down and take a few deep breaths,” Mx. Turo urges gently, signalling for Ash to pause. Ash grumbles as he obliges, taking a sharp huff in through his nose and flubbering his lips on the exhale. “Okay... Let’s rewind— Your crush turned out to be your new co-star, and it’s distressing you, because as long as you’re still co-stars, you can’t pursue any sort of romantic relationship with him… Do I have all that correct?”

“That about sums it up, yeah,” Ash mutters.

“Are you asking me if I can help you move on from these feelings?”

Ash pauses, feeling instantly uncomfortable with the question. “Huh…?”

“You said you tried getting over him, but you ‘can’t.’ Do you want me to give you some tips on how you can effectively move on?”

Ashton immediately thinks, (No), nervously rubbing a circle in his palm. He doesn’t want to let go of Gou. He never really did. “Uhh……”

Mx. Tee watches him shift uneasily, their expression sympathetic. “If having these feelings is causing you significant distress and anxiety, I’d advise you to consider your other options—”

“—But it’s not just some crush anymore!” Ash insists, struggling to meet his therapist’s eyes. “We’ve spent months together. I know the real Gou now. And I really, really care about him.“

“I don’t doubt that for a second. I’m sure you have so much love to give with that big heart of yours,” Mx. Tee gives Ash a small smile, and he just pouts back. “But Ashton, you should know— there’s a big difference between having a crush and feeling trapped in limerence.”

“…Limerence? What’s that…?” Ash asks, unsure he wants to hear the answer.

“Limerence is a state of intense desire, often to the point of obsession or other desperate feelings, like highs, lows, withdrawal, and despair.” Mx. Tee explains carefully. “Crushes typically come and go within several weeks or a few months. Someone in limerence, however, might feel all-consumed by their jealous thoughts and fantasies over prolonged periods of time— many months, or even years, especially if the object of their infatuation is unavailable to them in some way. ”

Ash listens carefully, frowning all the while.

Mx. Tee retrieves a book from their desk, flitting through it. “Let’s see if any of these traits resonate with you. 1. Obsessive thoughts – You can't stop thinking about your crush, even when you're trying to focus on work or yourself. These thoughts often feel overwhelming, disturbing your work and sleep.”

Ash can get carried away with his thoughts sometimes, sure, but that’s nothing new. Still, he chews his lip, remembering the night he spent tossing and turning before the premiere. (It was just one nightmare…)

“2. Elaborate fantasies – You spend hours in your head with them, imagining detailed future interactions or intimacy.”

(Okay, sue me.)

“3. Emotional highs and devastating lows – Your emotional state varies entirely on their behavior toward you. A simple text from them can make your day. Their silence can trigger despair.”

With the wounding whiplash between Gou’s chipper texts, their fight, and Gou’s avoidant silence still fresh in his mind, Ash's knees start bouncing nervously.

“4. Fear of rejection – The thought of your crush rejecting you is devastating. You’re constantly analyzing casual, friendly gestures, searching for evidence your crush likes you back, seeking validation and reciprocation.”

(Check, check, and check.)

There's a tension building in Ashton's throat as he recalls all the times Gou’s blushing face made his heart soar with hope, thinking Gou might like him back. But Gou has a naturally rosy complexion— All those blushes could’ve been anything. Starstruck… Embarrassed… Excited… Warm… …Uncomfortable.

“And 5… Jealousy – You obsessively compare yourself to others who might "compete" for their attention and feel devastated when they interact with potential rivals.”

“C’mon, that’s—“ Ash finally speaks up, his voice cracking defensively. (Doesn't everyone in love feel that way?) Tee frowns as Ash crosses his arms and glares out the window. There’s no point in arguing; he already admitted how jealous Gou makes him feel. 

“I’m not saying this is what you’re experiencing right now, but— if we combine the parasocial fixation you felt with him online, and these distressed feelings you’ve just shared with me– along with all the frustrating limitations of your unique situation……it’s possible there might be some deeper emotional needs of yours being neglected here.”

Ash takes a moment to process that while Mx. Tee turns the page in their book, confirming their suspicions. ”When you long for another person’s validation and attention through limerence, you could be reconnecting with unmet childhood needs.” They pull out a pair of cheaters, reading a passage aloud: “Perhaps you learned that your worth was tied to pleasing others...or you had to perform for a parent's inconsistent affection…” Mx. Tee gently closes the book, tucking their glasses back into their shirt pocket. “…Considering you became a child star who constantly performs for others—“

”Yeah, I get it…” Ash rubs the tension between his brows. They’ve already spoken at length about his father leaving the picture-- a trait he happens to share with Ash the character. He doesn't need to rehash any of that now.

“Hmm…I wonder if…” Mx. Tee murmurs before stopping to check on Ash. “Ah. Sorry, Mijo. I’m throwing a lot at you right now. Do you want me to slow down?”

“No, just say whatever you were gonna say,” Ash sighs, hugging his arms and sinking back into the couch. (You can handle it.) He hates it when people walk on eggshells around him.

His therapist hums and thumbs through their personal notebook for something. “You told me… you happened to meet— Gou— the same night you broke up with your boyfriend.”

“…Yeah?” Ash mumbles, already hating where this is going.

“Is it possible… you may have developed a certain attachment to Gou that night, in the midst of your grief?”

“No.” Ash answers definitively, “Me and Gary were already falling apart. Gou had nothing to do with our breakup. I didn’t even realize I had a crush on Gou until later.”

Mx. Tee nods. “I hear you. But maybe Gou— or the idea of Gou— helped carry you through the aftermath of your first breakup, without either of you even realizing it.”

Ash opens and closes his mouth a couple times, unable to form an argument.

The therapist frowns, looking down. “And it certainly doesn’t bring me any joy to say this, but… as you said, you already know why you shouldn’t act on these feelings. Under normal circumstances, I would encourage you to express your feelings. Even a rejection would at least provide a clear resolution, and you could move on. But… It wouldn’t be fair to your co-star if he didn’t reciprocate. As long as you’re working together...”

“I know…” Ash murmurs with half a voice, gripping the couch cushions beneath him and staring hard at the floor. On top of all his heartache from this morning, hearing this just makes him feel a hundred times worse.

“…Although, I must stress… Having strong feelings, being jealous, and imagining a life with your crush aren’t necessarily bad things. It makes a lot of sense why you're feeling this way. Oftentimes… limerence can overlap with genuine feelings of love.”

Ash looks up at that, his face full of hope, and Mx. Tee gives him a bittersweet smile.

“I’m sure you’re serious about these feelings, and you might even feel willing to wait for him— But I’m just asking you to be mindful, you know? Check your blind spots. If you keep clinging to the idea of a future you might not be able to have, you could miss out on healthier opportunities in the present.”

Ash’s heart skips uncomfortably. It's true, he often thinks of waiting for Gou, imagining a day in the future where they can be together. Gou won't be his co-star forever; they'll be freed from the shackles of their contracts eventually.

It's not a matter of Ash being willing to wait-- it's a matter of his ability: Can he really keep these feelings bottled up for another season? An entire year? Every day that passes is a new day Gou could fall in love with someone else (if he isn't already in love with Todd.)

His therapist reaches into one of their briefcases for a folder full of print-outs, handing a worksheet to Ash titled, How to Stop Your Crush from Crushing You — Living with Love vs. Limerence. “You don’t have to do this— but go ahead and take it, just in case.”

Everything Tee's said so far has made perfect sense, which only makes Ash feel even more frustrated. He stands to leave, resisting the urge to crumple the sheet in his hands. “Okay.”

“I’m so sorry, Ashton.” Mx. Tee looks genuinely upset as well, clearly sympathizing with him. “If there’s anything I can do to help you navigate these feelings, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

With a dry chuckle, Ash says, “There is one thing you could do…”

“Yes?”

“If Gou ever happens to tell you he likes me, can you let me know?”

After a beat of shock, Mx. Tee smiles sadly. “I legally cannot.”

Ash puffs a despondent sigh, checking his phone. He needs to head back to the set. “Worth a shot…”

—

By the time they wrap for the day, Gou still hasn’t approached Ash to clear the air, so the heartbroken star heads back to his trailer without saying goodbye. He doesn’t dilly dally getting changed this time— His mind is unusually quiet as he hops into his jeans and throws on the first t-shirt he sees. He just wants to go home.

Dark, drizzling clouds roll across the sky on the way to his chauffeur car, picking up into a moody deluge. (How fitting.)

His driver asks if he’s ready, and Ashton absentmindedly murmurs a yes, closing his eyes.

Just as the car is shifting into drive, a loud, urgent smacking sound on his window startles both Ash and the driver, and the car lurches to a halt.

Outside, Gou’s staring directly at him, looking desperate and breathless.

His hand is still splayed out across the window pane like he’s trying to reach Ash through it. Rainwater is completely soaking his hair and shoulders, errant droplets clinging to his glasses. Ash is speechless staring back at him, heart racing.

“Everything alright back there?” his chauffeur asks.

“Er, It’s okay—“ Ash hastily explains. “I know him. Just a minute, please.“

The driver nods, putting the car back in park. Unsure where this is about to go, Ash closes the partition between them for a little privacy before rolling his car window down. “Gou…? What are you—“

“I’m sorry,” Gou gushes.

He takes a couple steps back, struggling to collect his breath. How far did he run to catch up? “I-I thought that you— ugh, it doesn’t matter what I thought— I shouldn’t have snapped at you.” Ash's mouth drops open slightly, on the verge of replying, but Gou isn‘t done. “You’ve only ever been good to me, and I just—“ he curses into his hands, the rest of his voice coming out muffled and emotional. “—I should’ve trusted you.”

Realizing Gou is crying, Ash hastens to take his buckle off, stepping out the door and unfurling an umbrella to shield them from the pelting rain. Gou doesn’t look up until Ash pulls him into a big, soaking hug, startling a small sound of surprise from him.

Ash probably holds him there a little longer than a normal friend should, but something about this moment in the rain feels like a spell he can't break. His heart pounds like mad as Gou gently hugs him back.

“It’s okay. We’re cool.” Ash says, finally pulling away from their embrace, and Gou turns, still hiding his face.

Ashton is glad the immediate tension between them is resolved now, but as he gazes at Gou’s anxious frown, weepy posture, and exhausted, puffy eyes, he knows there’s still a big problem they can’t keep ignoring.

“But Gou…? Listen…“ Ash holds his shoulder, speaking soft and close, so only Gou can hear. “…I really think you should talk to Mx. Tee.”

Gou sniffles, physically recoiling away from him. “Why…?”

From the way Gou reacted this morning, he must have some hang ups around mental health and therapy. Or maybe he just struggles with the concept of accepting help in general.

Ashton can’t blame him— he used to be the same way.

The first time Ash had a breakdown, he was only 12. He had no idea what was happening to him. It felt like something was physically pressing his chest, caging in his lungs.

For months after, episodes like that started happening with increasing regularity, and he was struggling to keep them under wraps from the rest of the production. Gary was the first person to see one of them happen, and thankfully, he was able to talk Ash down.

Ash was so embarrassed, he made Gary promise not to tell anyone. But eventually, his secret got away when Koko and Mumu found him panicking in one of the warehouse dressing rooms.

He doesn’t even remember what set him off— He just remembers feeling an overwhelming sense of dread and hopelessness no 12-year-old should.

Koko joined him on the floor while Mumu left to find help, and that’s how Ashton reluctantly ended up in Mx. Turo’s office.

Ash was resistant at first, attending the sessions but not really participating. Thankfully, the friendly professional was patient with him. Over the course of the next two years, his therapist helped him curate healthy ways to cope with stress, anxiety, panic, and the pressures of being a celebrity in this harsh world. It’s scary to think what might have happened if Ash kept trying to hide everything away.

“Because they really helped me when I needed them,” Ash murmurs, and Gou’s gaze snaps up at him again, surprised by Ashton’s vulnerability.

It's the same face of shock Gou gave him back on their Day One, when Ash confessed he knew how panic attacks feel. He looks confused— Like the information Ash is giving him doesn’t quite align with the picture of Ashton the superstar in his head.

Ash holds his blue gaze steady. “I think they could really benefit you, too.”

Gou stares back at him for an achingly long moment before he bites his lip and hums, ”Mmn… Okay, I’ll… think about it…”

(It’s a start) Ash thinks, his expression finally relaxing into a smile, and Gou gives him a misty-eyed smile back, his cheeks tinged with leftover emotion.

“…Do you want a ride home?” Ash offers, not ready to say goodbye yet. Unfortunately, Gou just waves as he backs out from under the umbrella, throwing his jacket over his head.

“Ah, no, no thank you, I’m okay— um, I’ll see you tomorrow, Ash—!“ And before Ash can stop him, Gou takes off into the rain.

Ash watches him go with a long, lovesick sigh. Yeah... there's no way he’s getting over Gou anytime soon.

—

By the end of the week, Ash was happy to learn Gou actually agreed to meet Mx. Tee. Still, Gou's acting somewhat tense around him, and Ash can't help but wonder why: Is he simply frustrated from attending therapy? Is he still embarrassed by his weepy confrontation in the rain? Or is Gou just upset in general because of Todd's anonymous request to help him?

Ash feels pretty tense, too-- ever since his heavy session with Mx. Tee, he's been trying to stay mindful of his behavior around Gou, reflecting on any potentially limerent patterns. Unfortunately, all this overthinking has been weighing him down, like walking around with a cold, sodden blanket wrapped around his shoulders. It's exhausting.

They’re quietly walking back to the doublebanger together when Ash notices Todd waiting for them by Gou’s door, wearing a big “visitor” badge across his chest.

Gou freezes in his tracks. “What are you doing here?” he asks sharply, and Ash bites his lips.

(Definitely still mad at Todd.)

The artist just smiles, flourishing a cute little bakery box. It’s a cake topped with three strawberries and the words “I’m sorry” piped around them in pink icing. “Can we talk?”

When Gou glances back at him, Ash tears his gaze away, realizing he isn’t meant to be part of this moment. “…See you, Gou. Todd,” he says, excusing himself and stepping into his room.

Outside, Ash hears Gou sigh and open the door to his half of the trailer. “Come on.”

Ash really tries to focus on changing, but when he hears Todd’s muffled laugh on the other side of the wall, his immature curiosity gets the best of him. He rests his ear against the wall, hearing clear through the other side. It’s certainly not one of his proudest moments, but maybe Ash can finally find out if they’re really just friends or not.

“I’m sorry, Gou.“

“…I just want to know why.”

“I was trying to help—“

”No, I mean, why did you go behind my back like that? Why didn’t you just talk to me? Since you were so concerned.” The aggressive scrape of a fork glancing off a plate makes Ash jump.

“Because I tried to, Gou! You kept blowing me off.” Todd responds, sounding a little exasperated. “I thought if I told someone, they could get you some help…”

“See, that— Right there— You think I’m crazy.”

“No! Gou, come on, you’re not—“

“You made me feel like I was! I felt like I was in an intervention— it was so embarrassing! Now the director thinks I need a therapist, and I’m the only one behind schedule, and—” There's a sharp clattering sound, like a plate being tossed aside. “I was fine!”

There's a long stretch of uncomfortable silence before Todd says, “…You didn’t seem very fine when you were sobbing in my arms.”

Todd’s words paint a vivid picture in Ash’s mind that instantly churns his stomach.

Gou makes an indignant scoff. “I told you I was just stressed!”

“You think I can’t tell when you’re lying?” Todd raises his voice, too, “You’re lying to yourself right now!”

Ash holds his breath through a tense pause before Gou eventually says, “Thanks for the cake. The actual apology could use some work, though.”

(Ouch…)

Todd says something too quiet for Ash to make out, and if Gou replies, he can't hear it. Seconds later, he hears the swing of Gou's door, footsteps leaving, and nothing else.

As Ash is processing everything that just happened, he startles with a knock at the door. He goes to answer it, surprised to see his co-star holding out a plate of Todd’s apology cake for him.

“I saved this for you,” Gou says, averting his misty eyes, “I thought you looked kinda jealous earlier.”

(Of YOU! Not the cake!)

Ash hesitates to smile at his crush. “Oh— I did…? I wasn't-- I can't take that... It's yours—“

“I’m not really hungry.“ Gou murmurs with a weak smile. “Please, take it. I don’t want it to go to waste.“

“…Thanks, Gou…“ Ash watches him carefully as he accepts the plate. Gou quickly drops his hand when one of Ash’s fingers brushes against his.

(Did Gou and Todd just… break up?)

Some truly ugly part of Ash wants to celebrate the thought. It doesn’t help that he's holding a slice of gourmet cake. But Gou is obviously really upset right now, and all Ash really wants to do is take that pain away.

“…Do you want to come inside?” He asks, opening his door wider. Maybe they can just talk, and—

“I’m good,” Gou waves him off, already backing down the steps and retreating to his changing room. “See you later.”

Ash chews his lip as he takes himself and the slice of cake inside, dropping into his vanity chair with a sigh. He cuts a generous bite with his fork and savors it.

(Oh. Wow.)

(It's really good.)

He shouldn’t be surprised-- Todd has good taste.

Chapter Text

Ashton started noticing some interesting changes in Gou's behavior as of late.

On Monday, Gou came stepping out of the doublebanger at the same time as him, and Ash does a full double take when he sees Gou wearing an oversized, light pink sweater with relaxed, light blue jeans. First of all, he looks adorable. But more importantly, it's unusual to see Gou in such bright, cute colors– he usually just wears the same greys and blacks, maybe with a touch of basic color here or there.

“What?” Gou mutters anxiously, looking down at his sweater like he's afraid he spilled something on it. Ash hadn't realized he was staring.

“Nothing!” Ash laughs, “I’ve just never seen you in that color.” For good measure, he adds, “You look good.”

Gou mumbles a “thank you” under his breath as he hustles away, and Ash smiles.

—

After wrapping on Wednesday, Ash is changing as usual when he hears a loud, upbeat song seeping through their shared wall. Then he hears some kind of commotion on the other side, rhythmic and full of energy. Gou must be doing jumping-jacks, or something, because Ash can feel it through the floor.

Ash laughs to himself as he finishes changing and steps outside to Gou's door, knocking hard over the music. It suddenly turns down, and Gou answers the door a little breathlessly, dabbing the sweat on his brow with a towel. He's wearing bright colors again: neon-green shorts and a bright yellow work-out tank.

“Yes—?”

“What are you doing in there? You’re rattling the whole trailer.” Ash watches in pure amusement as Gou's flushed cheeks turn a little redder.

“Oh!! Sorry— I was just exercising.“ he answers sheepishly, averting his eyes as he pulls the towel over his hair.

Ash grins as he realizes what's going on– The colors, the exercise… Mx. Tee gave Gou some De-Roling homework, and he’s actually doing it. Still smiling with pride, Ash shuffles one of his sneakers. “Yeah? I was actually just about to go for a walk. Do you wanna join me?”

“Um…” Gou takes a moment to consider and smiles. “Okay, sure. Gimme a second.”

Truthfully, Ash just wanted an excuse to hang out with Gou. It's actually pretty chilly outside, with a brisk wind tickling the wispy hairs on Ash's neck.

Gou pops his head back out of the trailer, wearing a colorful jacket Ash has never seen before. “Are you cold?”

“Oh– Just a little. I’m fine–” Ash's heart skips as Gou tosses a Pokémon studio hoodie at him, anyway. As he tugs it over his head, he feels enveloped in the faint fragrance of Gou’s shampoo and hairspray. “Thanks.”

They head out together, just walking around the perimeter of the studio. After a few minutes of small talk, Gou turns quiet, looking up at all the passing palm trees.

Testing the waters, Ash asks, “So, what do you think of Mx. Tee?”

Gou hums, tucking some of his hair behind one ear. “They’re nice so far, I guess.” he answers shortly.

Ash nods, hesitant to press him any further than that. Gou's therapy really isn't any of his business, no matter how curious he is. “Cool.”

Eyes still on the sky, Gou says, “They’re not the first therapist I've had.”

“...Oh, really?”

Gou's mouth quivers a little, like he's trying to decide if he wants to share more or not. Ash wants to let his co-star know they can talk about anything, but he opts to keep quiet instead, hoping Gou will speak up if he really wants to.

Thankfully, he does. “When I was younger, I was really… sensitive. Whenever things got overwhelming, I kinda shut down. I didn't really have lasting friends. Most of my classmates thought I was acting weird and shutting them out on purpose.”

Ash's heart is actively breaking as he listens, wishing he could go back in time and be Gou's friend.

“My parents didn't know what to do. So they found a therapist...” Gou's voice is oddly low, in monotone, and from the tension in his brow, Ash gets the sense Gou is digging up a painful memory. “...He didn't understand me at all. He basically told me I just needed to man up.”

“Ugh…” Ash comments softly, clenching his fists in Gou's hoodie pocket.

“Yeah. The second therapist didn't really listen to me, either. She talked a lot about herself… Whenever I tried to describe what I was feeling, she kept finishing my sentences for me, like she knew everything. If I shut down, she got really impatient with me. If I tried to argue with her, she just told me I was wrong. It was really upsetting.”

“God,” Ash grits, “She sounds awful… Did your parents report her?”

“I don't think I told them…” Gou murmurs. “I was too young to know any better.”

Ash genuinely has to take a deep, subtle breath to compose himself. Imagining little Gou suffering all alone like that… it's totally maddening.

“Then, by the time my parents found a third therapist, I was really scared he was just gonna hurt my feelings like the other two did.” Gou hums, hugging his arms against the cold. “He wasn't bad, but he wasn’t very helpful, either. We just didn't really… click? That was mostly my fault, though,” Gou says with a dry, self-deprecating laugh. “I wasn't really listening to him. I didn't want to be there.”

Hearing all this, Ash realizes how incredibly fortunate he was to get along with a great therapist like Mx. Tee straight away. He can only imagine how frustrating this whole ordeal must have been for Gou on top of everything else.

“So… in the end, my parents basically wasted a ton of money for nothing.” Gou sighs, giving Ash a grim smile that tears him up inside.

(Forget about the money! What about you?)

“...Anyway, that's… kinda why I freaked out on you the other day.” Gou fixes his hair again, and Ash realizes that must be another one of his nervous tics. “I'm sorry.”

Ash halts where he was walking, dramatically stopping to hold his face and groan with agony. Gou turns and looks at him, puzzled. After another deep, steadying breath, Ash says, “C’mon, You already apologized for that. Please don't keep beating yourself up about it.”

“Let me finish,” Gou insists, facing him, and Ash clamps his lips shut. “I called Mx. Tee a shrink and made it sound like… needing therapy meant I was screwed up, or…weak, or something……” He looks right into Ash's eyes, his expression so soft, yet serious. “I just… wanted to clarify: that's not how I see you at all.”

All of Ash's breath hitches as he gazes back at Gou, completely lost in his considerate eyes. He finally finds his voice, giving his co-star a strained, “Sure… I hear you.” and Gou smiles. They start walking again, and Ash falls in step with him, trying and failing to calm his racing heart down.

Gently reaching out to grasp Gou's shoulder, Ash says, “I'm so sorry all of that happened to you... But I promise Mx. Tee will treat you right.”

Gou hums. “...Thanks for letting me vent…” he says, pulling the hood of his jacket up as a particularly brisk breeze blows over them. His shoulders hop with a small laugh. “...I probably should've told all that to Mx. Tee, huh?”

Ash finally laughs, bumping his shoulder against Gou's and savoring how warm it feels. “It’s okay. You can tell me anything. Seriously.”

He can't see Gou's face anymore, but he hears the smile in Gou's voice as he says, “Thanks, Ash.”

—

Friday was a half day. Ash checks his fit in the mirror before he steps out, gearing up to carry out one of his craziest plans, yet.

Ever since Gou and Todd’s blow up, Ash can tell his co-star’s been feeling a little blue. Figuring they could use a little change of pace, Ash decided he’s going to take Gou out to town for a treat.

(As friends, of course)

(Not, like, a date)

(...Definitely not a date)

Since he wants to go out in public, he threw together a totally-normal-teenager disguise: plain sweatpants, boring gray clothes emblazoned with logos, a plain jean jacket, a dark snapback to tame his curls, and a nice pair of heavily tinted sunglasses obscuring his eyes. If it was a date, he certainly wouldn’t be dressing like this. He just wants to blend in with the crowd. He’s hoping this’ll do the trick.

His co-star comes out at the same time, looking precious as ever in a lavender hoodie, white sweats, and a really cute beanie with a Ditto face on it. Ash trots over with a skip in his step.

Gou turns as he’s approaching and laughs the moment he sees him. “You look like a celebrity trying not to stand out in public.”

Ashton grimaces. (Dammit.)

“Really? I was just about to ask if you wanted to go into town and get a smoothie with me…” The superstar clamps his lips, trying not to get his hopes up too much.

Gou blinks back in surprise. “Oh—” Ash waits expectantly, his nerves fraying with every passing second. “Sure!”

Ash is cheering and doing cartwheels internally as he calmly adjusts his sunglasses. “Cool.”

“But, uh, first… we gotta fix this—“ Gou gestures at Ash’s general vibe with a judgmental smirk. Then he tugs off his beanie and glasses. ”Trade with me.“

Ash can’t help the smile blooming over his face as they swap accessories. He holds his breath as Gou helps him tuck his escapee curls back into the beanie. He looks up just in time to see Gou donning his snapback and tipping the sunglasses down.

The superstar finds himself thinking it’s not fair how good Gou looks in his clothes.

Gou assesses Ash for a moment before suddenly pulling his jean jacket off of him. Ash freezes up as Gou ties the sleeves around his waist. “The sunglasses and sweats are too predictable on somebody attractive like you,” Gou explains, fastening the fit of his beanie. “If you dress like a nerd and slouch, nobody’s gonna think it’s you.”

Ash is about to say, I don’t think you dress like a nerd when he suddenly registers the first half of Gou’s sentence. “You think I’m attractive?” he murmurs under his breath, nervousness dampening his usually clear voice.

“Sorry, what’d you say?” Gou looks up, and Ash loses all his confidence.

“Nothing,” he answers hastily, placing Gou’s glasses over his eyes. “Whoa,” Ashton blinks rapidly, wincing at the bizarre change in his vision. His depth perception is all wonky, now. He didn’t realize how thick the lenses are. “These are no joke.”

Gou looks around, and Ash sees him squinting behind his shades. “Actually, on second thought, this was a bad idea.”

“Too late, we’re committed!” Ash loops an arm around his, marching forward.

The two visually impaired boys manage to make it to the metro in one piece. It’s crowded, so Ash and Gou end up standing pretty close together as they grab onto the ceiling handles.

Before Ash became a celebrity that has to take a car everywhere, he used to ride the metro with his mom every weekend. Its atmosphere hasn't changed much— It's still just as busy, humid, and strange-smelling as ever. But on top of all the assorted whiffs and odors that naturally come with public transit, there’s actually a surprisingly pleasant aroma drifting through the air. It smells like… firewood, spices, and cracked pepper. It’s strong, but not in an overpowering way. Ashton actually finds it really relaxing.

Throughout the ride, Gou keeps his gaze down on his phone, idly scrolling through his feed and occasionally liking something. All the while, Ash keeps stealing glances at his eyelashes, flitting slightly with every line he reads.

Ashton isn't paying attention when someone carrying a bike bumps hard into him, knocking him forward. He only just manages to throw his hand across the window next to Gou’s head, narrowly avoiding a full-on collision. When he looks up at Gou's surprised face, their sudden proximity momentarily stuns him.

That’s when Ash realizes the incredible, peppery fragrance is emanating directly from Gou's pulse.

Reluctantly standing up straight, Ash rubs the bridge of his nose with his free hand. “Are you… wearing cologne?“ he asks.

The junior celebrity’s startled eyes dart away as he starts blushing from the neck up. “Er—yeah.“ The heat on his skin is gradually activating the fragrance even more, and Ash grips the handlebar above him like it’s the only thing tethering him to earth. ”Mx. Tee asked me to try it, to help me, uh…” Gou quietly leans forward, practically intoxicating him. ”—de-role.”

Gou’s whispering breath on his ear instantly flusters Ash as he pulls his beanie over the tips of his ears and swallows nervously. His co-star immediately notices and leans back with a panicking grimace.

“Is it too strong?” He tries to lean away, but he’s pressed against the wall and he can’t really move. “I’m so sorry—“

”Huh?“ Ash snaps out of his trance, training his gaze out the window beside them. (Act natural!) “No, uh, it’s fine,” He answers, grasping his face in an attempt to hide the blush blooming all over his face. They both clam up for the remainder of their ride.

—

The smoothie shoppe Ash wanted to visit is a short walk from the metro. It’s cute inside, with artsy mural walls and colorful, eccentric decor. Ash happened to read that it’s a popular spot for dates (not that that has any relevance), and since it’s only noon, most kids are in school right now. There’s only a handful of people inside and a few uniformed school girls skipping class.

As they’re waiting in line, Ash pretends to use a psychic move on Gou, holding both pointer fingers to his temples and saying, “Let me guess… you want something with… strawberries!”

Impressed, Gou smiles and asks, “How’d you know?”

“I figured you liked strawberries since they were on that cake Todd brought you.“ Ash answers honestly. He almost adds: (And your shampoo smells like strawberry) but that is probably, objectively, the-weirdest-thing he could say, so he keeps it to himself. “…Which tasted amazing, by the way— I forgot to say thank you.”

“Oh…don’t mention it,” Gou’s chipper mood dips at the mention of Todd, and Ash chews his lip until it’s their turn to order.

Ash goes first, handing his card to the cashier. “I’m buying his, too.”

“Huh?” Gou instantly protests, pulling him back by his arm. “But–”

Ash tries not to make a habit of flaunting his fortune, but he really just wants to treat Gou. He simply smiles back at him. “No buts. Order anything you like.”

Probably realizing money is no object to Ash, Gou grumbles as he concedes.

They pick a booth by the window to enjoy their smoothies— Gou got a delicious strawberry, hazelnut, and banana smoothie while Ash ordered the most interesting looking thing on the menu: a green blend of avocado, kiwi, grapes, and lemonade. They’re both laughing about Ash’s quirky drink when Gou happens to look up, his laugh falling off at the sight of something outside.

Ash follows his gaze, startled to see Todd watching them from the bus stop across the street.

“Uh…” Ash’s gaze ping-pongs between them, feeling caught in the middle. Gou is just staring at Todd sadly, heaving a sigh that makes his shoulders droop. “Do you… wanna invite him over…?” The jealous star offers reluctantly, shooting a smile and wave at his old friend.

Todd just looks away, scowling down at his phone as the bus arrives.

Gou’s expression changes drastically, from melancholy to alarmed. “Wait, that's actually—?!” Ash scrunches his eyes as Gou snatches his glasses back, scrambling to put them on right as Todd steps onto the bus. Across the table, Gou sinks in his seat with an anxious groan.

Ash watches this all play out, drumming his fingers nervously across his smoothie cup. “Did you two…have a fight, or something…?” he asks cautiously.

“We…ugh…” Goh holds his face in his hands, pushing his glasses askew. “Yeah. I was really mad at him, because… well, you know what he did.“

Ash takes a long, awkward sip of his smoothie. “I thought he apologized?”

“He did, but then he—“ Gou stops himself and sighs again. “I don’t know. Sorry. We don’t have to keep talking about this.”

Ash takes another pointed sip before he murmurs, “Gou, I completely understand why you were upset, but… I also understand why Todd did it. I think he made the right call.”

Gou’s expression jolts a little as he looks right at Ash. “Huh?”

“You’re kind of allergic to accepting help,” Ash smiles, trying to make it sound lighthearted, but he’s really just concerned. “Much less asking for it.”

The anxious boy opens his mouth to argue, but nothing comes out, and he just stares at his smoothie.

“Plus, I think Mx. Tee’s magic is already working,” Ash adds warmly. “You‘ve seemed a bit happier, lately... More colorful.“

“Have I…?” Gou responds, his forehead hitting the table with a despondent thump. Ash smiles awkwardly, trying to figure out how to bring the mood of their date outing back up.

Ash is only halfway through his smoothie when one of the school girls approaches their table with two of her friends huddled close behind.

“Excuse me, are you Ashton Ketcher…?” From the way she’s asking it, practically vibrating with excitement, she already knows the answer.

Both stars look at each other and freeze. Gou forgot to give Ash his glasses back, and the girl recognized him.

Knowing full well they’re cooked, Ash sighs under his breath. Then he turns and shoots a perfect smile back at her. “Yup, that’s me.”

One of her friends shrieks loudly, making Gou flinch. Ash puts a coy finger to his lips, signalling for the girl to keep it down, and they all giggle conspicuously. Hoping to hurry things along, Ash offers to take a selfie with them, and they all leap with joy, squeaking and squealing. Thankfully they don’t seem interested in bothering Gou– he keeps to himself, quietly sipping his smoothie as he stares wistfully out the window, probably thinking of Todd again.

The girls follow Ash’s gaze on Gou and grin mischievously.

”Omigod, is she your date~?”

Gou’s in the midst of taking a sip when he suddenly lurches into his hand with shock. Ash is speechless as his attention is torn between Gou’s reaction and the girls. “Uh…”

"She's cute," the quiet one murmurs, clasping her hands and swooning like she's watching a happy married couple.

“Wait, that’s the other one!” The bravest girl points excitedly at Gou. “Uh, uh… Goh, right?!”

”Really? From the new season?”

”Can we get a selfie with you too?”

Unfortunately, a small crowd starts forming around the girls still loitering by their table, and Ash tenses as someone pulls out their phone and starts filming them without asking.

(Dates over.) They need to leave now.

Ash smiles perfectly again as he slowly stands up and says, “Aaannnd we gotta go. Sorry—“ The girls start whimpering, and the others start begging for pictures and autographs, too. “I know. I know. We gotta go. Love you guys—“ Ash grabs Gou’s wrist and tugs him out of the booth, politely waving his hand in front of them to make a path.

In a matter of seconds, The girl who squealed earlier wails, "Noo, don't go!" and reaches out, touching Ash’s arm, and he flinches back. Suddenly half of the mini crowd turns wild, throwing their hands at them like they’re in a concert, desperate to be touched by the famous people before they leave. Ash keeps a protective arm out in front of Gou, shielding him from the brunt of everything. Some jerk is blocking their escape route, filming an obnoxious selfie. Ashton so desperately wants to kick him out of their way, but that's a million dollar lawsuit just waiting to happen.

Gou’s remaining remarkably calm throughout all of this, and Ash wonders if his usual stress response isn’t fight or flight, but freeze. He looks at Ash right as someone is reaching out to touch him from behind, and Ash reflexively steps forward to protect him, chopping the stranger’s hand away.

One of the shop employees jumps into the fray to shield the boys, holding back the fanatic crowd just long enough for Ash to drag Gou out the door. As they’re running, Ash makes a mental note to come back and give their hero a very generous tip.

They run all the way to the metro, and thankfully, no inappropriate fans try to follow them.

—

Compared to the crowded car they came on, their outbound car has no one but them on it. They sit next to each other, both struggling to catch their breath. As the car lurches forward to take them home, Ash pants, “Are you okay?”

Gou gives him a shaky thumbs up. “That was terrifying— Does that… happen a lot—?” Gou asks between breaths, his brow furrowing with deep unease.

(Unfortunately)

“Now you know why I needed Mx. Tee,” Ash jokes, but Gou doesn’t laugh. Noticing the disturbed concern all over Gou’s face, Ash says, “It’s okay. I mean, it’s not okay, but I’m okay.”

The metro rumbles around them as they fall into a somber silence, broken only by the automated stop announcements. Gou seems lost in thought as he clearly hesitates to say anything else. His breath is still a bit shallow, but steady.

Meanwhile, Ash is struggling to regain control of his breathing as a storm of ugly emotion swirls around inside him. He hates fans sometimes. Don’t they realize he’s a person, too? What did he do to deserve all of that? All he wanted to do today was go out like a normal teenager and treat his crush to a smoothie. Now he’s on the verge of a silent panic attack, clenching his shaking hands. He's not a normal teenager, and he never will be.  

“Ash?” Gou murmurs through the static.

Ash is scared to look at him. He keeps his eyes downcast as he just says, “Yeah?”

“Do you remember what I said to you…? At the end of my first day?”

The unexpected question pulls Ash to reality again as he takes a few breaths, thinking back.

If there’s something I can do to be someone you can rely on, too… …I’d be glad to.

As Ash looks up, he feels comforted by the calm in Gou’s patient gaze.

(Yes. Every word.)

“…I think so,“ he fibs, pulling his beanie back down over his ears. “But can you remind me?”

“Yeah, Um… I said: Please tell me if there's anything I can do to help you. I want to be someone you can rely on, too.” He’s slowly turning red again, just like the first time he said it. “You’re always there for me, so…” He trails off nervously, but the look in his eyes is totally earnest.

Ash holds Gou’s gaze for a moment before a snicker tumbles out of him. Gou looks aghast, clearly taking his laughter the wrong way. “Nevermind. Just ignore me,” he croaks, turning away and fiddling anxiously with his hands.

“No, no— It’s just— You changed your line,” he smiles back at Gou, feeling totally effervescent inside. “That’s not what you said the first time.”

Gou’s brows pinch together, instantly getting riled up by Ash’s teasing. “Well I— I didn’t know you wanted me to recount it word-for-word,” He blushes, crossing his arms.

As Ash’s laughter fades, he realizes his hands are still shaking. “…There is something you could do.” He murmurs apprehensively. “You don’t have to, though.”

In an instant, Gou’s attitude flips, ready to help. “It’s okay— tell me.”

(Oh god, are you really going to say it?) (yes) (just do it)

“…Would it be weird if I asked for a hug?” Ash asks, “I still feel a little panicky from running.”

Gou looks down at Ash’s tremoring hands, lips parting.

He’s only expecting Gou to reach a single arm around him, like their characters so often do, so he’s really surprised when Gou scoots closer, gently wrapping both arms around his back and pulling him into a full embrace.

Up close, Ashton is breathing in Gou’s cologne, and something about the fresh cracked pepper smell is immensely comforting; almost magical. Ash takes a big, deep breath in through his nose… and out through his mouth.

Chapter Text

—

Month 12 - October

—

At some point over the weekend, Gou must have made up with Todd, because Ashton sees Gou tagged in one of Todd’s photos, all smiles. Apparently they went out for midnight slushies.

Ash is (definitely not) jealous. (At all.)

He should be happy for Gou— regardless of his feelings, Todd is Gou’s best friend. He has been for years. And as much as therapy has been a boon for Gou, he needed his friend, too.

Now Gou looks happier than Ash has ever seen him. He’s grown more comfortable with the rest of the cast, most notably Chloe and Sonia. It seems he’s finally forgiven Hodge for the prank, and he even offered to show the new girl Gina around the studio while Ashton was busy with Ms. Dee.

Some days are better than others, but overall, Gou’s been in a much brighter mood behind the scenes than he ever was on season one.

—

S2e9

It’s cold today. There’s nothing Ashton hates more than the cold. Gou doesn’t seem to mind— he says it’s ‘actually kind of beautiful’ as they watch the evening snowfall over the ocean. Ash shivers and tears his eyes away from a different beautiful view as the clapperboard snaps shut far behind him.

A frigid wind swirls over the harbor as snow starts to gather on the tops of their heads.

Ash sighs dramatically. “I’m running on empty. I’ll never make it that far...”

Goh keeps his eyes fixed ahead and says, “Let’s eat on the way.” There’s a blush on his nose. Must be from the cold. Ash has a blush growing on his nose, too.

“Really?!” Ash perks up instantly. “What’ll we have?“

“It’s cold... Hot Ramen?”

“Awesome!” They keep walking together as Camera B’s wide shot captures them leaving together. Once a few seconds pass, Ash says, “Hey, we should actually do that.”

“...Huh?” Gou still isn’t looking at him.

“Ramen. I’m craving it now. We can stay after the show and order in— What d’you say?”

Gou must be keenly aware of the cameras still following him, because he looks kind of bashful as he smiles and answers, “Oh, uh… okay…” after a pause, he asks, “Do you want me to invite Todd, too?”

(NO!)

“Sure!” Ashton smiles, lying through his teeth.

—

S2e10

Ash can hardly keep a straight face as he reads the script for this episode. (The journeyshippers are gonna looove this one.)

“Stand by,” a PA says, adjusting the huge Gulpin prop on Gou’s head. Ash snickers as the makeup artist adds the finishing touches to its dopey face.

“You ready?”

”I guess.”

Ash reaches over to grasp Gou’s hand, and the other boy flinches slightly before relaxing into it. The moment hardly feels romantic by any means, surrounded by lights, cameras, crew, and a silly, puckering Gulpin. Still, Ash takes a moment to pretend it’s just them, revering the way Gou’s palm fits so perfectly in his. “Wow. Your hand is soft,” Ash notes as they start walking.

Gou just hums awkwardly.

“Alright, we're walking, and… go.”

“How come these Gulpin are stuck to us? So weird…” Ash wonders aloud, looking up at the clouds.

“Yeah…” Goh answers softly.

Sensing Goh’s nervousness, Ash turns to him warmly and says, “They’ll fix this when we get to the lab. We’re gonna be fine.” His hand gives Goh’s hand a small, comforting squeeze.

“—Yeah.” Goh’s voice cracks.

Ash frowns and looks over at him. “Goh, you seem bummed out.”

“Not exactly. I’m just a little embarrassed since we’re… holding hands…”

After a pause, Ash says, “We have to! You can’t see where you’re going with a Gulpin on your head.”

“Yeahhh but still…” Goh argues, trailing off. Ash smiles and gently squeezes his hand again. 

They have to continue holding hands for quite a bit of the episode. Between takes, Gou keeps pulling away first, asking one of the PA’s for a handkerchief. Facing the wrong way to speak to Ash, he mutters, “Sorry, my hands are getting clammy,” as he dabs at them with the cloth.

Gou’s shoulders jump as Ash replies behind him with a grin. ”Are they? I didn’t notice.”

When Gou turns around, Ash takes a quiet step behind him. “You’re just saying that.”

“I mean it!” Ashton teases, poking Gou’s other side playfully. His jumpy co-star whirls on him.

“Stop it!”

Ash dodges his hands as they chop at nothing but air. “Stop what?” he asks not-so-innocently, dancing around Gou again and prodding that ticklish spot on his belly.

Gou must be stewing inside the headpiece, because his neck is turning red as he hisses, “Ashton Ketcher, I swear!” finally snatching Ash’s wrists and wrangling him into a headlock.

(Uh oh.) The teasing star knows he’s in trouble when Gou breaks out the full name. His charming smile won’t win him out of this one.

Thankfully, Director Delia’s voice orders, “Boys, you’re up!”

Gou immediately straightens up and drops Ash’s wrists, but he doesn’t get far— Ash laughs as he takes Gou’s soft hand in his again, resisting the compelling urge to thread their fingers together. 

—

S2e14

Today, they’re filming the scene where Goh has a heart to heart with his newly evolved Drizzile under the stars. Little Julian has been on set all morning in Goh’s gradeschool uniform, watching behind the scenes with stars in his eyes. Now that he’s warmed up to Gou, he’s excited to watch the older actor’s scenes being filmed.

The script for this episode is really interesting… Goh’s newly evolved Drizzile spends the entire episode in a state of dysphoria— feeling deeply disappointed and self conscious of its body, depressed with its abilities, and stuck wishing it could be something else. It decides to retreat from the world, finding a small, dreary cave and making its nest there.

Goh, not fully understanding, tries to help it by dragging it out of its nest to spend time with him and everyone else. But forcing it out of the comfort of its nest only makes things worse. Because Drizzile’s temperament isn’t something Goh can ‘fix’ or make better— It’s innate.

By the end of the story, its trainer realizes the best thing he can do for his Drizzile is let it know he’ll always be there for it whenever it’s ready to come out. It doesn’t matter if he fully understands Drizzile’s behavior or not. They’ll always be friends.

Ashton loves episodes where the writers explore complex, emotional plots through Pokémon and their bonds with people. Sometimes they can be hard to film, especially if the subject is especially sad or dark. As he skims over this episode, though, it doesn’t seem too sad; Chloe and Ash both support Goh with their friendship, and when Goh relates to Drizzile’s feelings, they both realize neither of them are truly alone. It ends on a light note.

All day long, Gou’s been even more quiet than usual, just studying the script on their breaks. He confessed he's a little nervous, since the writers gave him a long monologue, but Ash is confident he can handle it.

He hangs out behind Goh in the background with Chloe as the clapperboard snaps, and the scene begins.

Goh smiles. “You’re just like me!“

[ Drizzile’s head turns toward Goh. ]

“I’ve changed my thinking..  If I don’t understand, then that’s OK! And I don’t need immediate answers either. And so… I’m fine if you just wanna be who you are…!”

As he’s speaking, Ash hears some raw emotion creeping into Gou’s voice, making it sound strained and shaky. Does this scene call for tears? It’s supposed to be heartfelt; maybe Gou’s experimenting a  different angle.

“Don’t worry about me.” Gou’s voice wavers again, his posture tensing. “If it helps you to nest… just do it…!“

Ash frowns. His voice sounds unstable.

“And… I-If… at some point, you feel like being with a friend…” Gou’s fist clenches. “I’ll be there. Whenever you need me…… Don’t forget— …“

Choking up, he sits back, uttering a small sob.

Under his breath, he says, ”…W-What am I crying for?”

For a several seconds, Gou keeps his eyes downcast as the cameras continue rolling.

“Did he forget his line…?” Chloe whispers, afraid to interrupt the scene. When Gou’s shoulders start shaking, Ash’s whole body tenses up.

“No. Something’s wrong—” Ash doesn’t wait for the cut as he runs forward, dropping to his knee beside Gou.

He’s still curled in on himself, sobbing with shallow, ragged breaths.

“Gou…” Ash murmurs. He’s seen Gou panic and get emotional a few times now, but he’s never seen him so deeply in pain. “What’s wrong?”

Ash hears the clomp of Julian’s little sneakers as he runs forward to join them, too. Chloe gives them all some space, but the concern on her face is apparent. There’s some other concerned chatter and movement around them, but Ash isn’t paying attention to any of that. All he sees is Gou unraveling beside him.

He either won’t or can’t respond to Ash, hiding his face in shame, so Ash just rubs his back, trying to shield him from all the cast’s eyes on him. Meanwhile, Gou’s young clone reaches over, petting the top of his head.

“Do you want a hug?” Julian asks sweetly, and Gou finally looks up, eyes wide. More tears spill out as he nods, a second wave of emotion rolling over him. So their little friend steps forward, hugging the older actor’s head to his chest.

Gou gasps, shaking as he painfully stifles another fit of sobs. He hugs Julian back, clinging to the boy like he’s holding his inner child.

“It’s okay,” Julian says calmly, gliding his hands over Gou’s hair, and the older boy in his arms gradually goes still, only moving with occasional, sharp breaths.

Ms. Dee approaches them carefully, laying a hand on Ash’s shoulder. “Ashton, dear, could you take Gou back to his trailer?” she asks softly, and Ash nods.

“Gou, can you stand up?”

Gou hesitates before nodding silently where he’s still being held against Julian. As Ash loops a hand under Gou’s arm to help him up, Julian says, “I hope you feel better.”

“Thanks for the help, Jules,” Ash murmurs, ruffling the boy’s hair before he gently ushers Gou to his room.

—

Ash retrieves a water for him as he rests on his couch. “…Do you want to talk about it, Gou?” Ash asks carefully, resting a hand on his knee.

There’s a long stretch of silence as Gou has no reaction, and Ash wonders if he’s shutting down again. Knowing Gou, he must feel really embarrassed that everyone saw him break down. But he eventually stirs, shakily pointing at his script on the table. He murmurs, barely audible: “I wish someone… would’ve— —when I was…“ getting choked up again, he rests his head against the cool water bottle, whispering, “I don’t know. Sorry…”

Ash looks over, reaching for the script to find Goh’s scene with Drizzile. After a moment of silence, Gou seems to regret saying anything as he reaches back for his script, tugging it out of Ash’s hands. “Don’t worry about it,” he pipes up again, swallowing hard. “I’m just— having an off day— I’m fine.”

As Gou rolls up the script in his hands and tries to compose himself, Ash turns over the lines in his head, trying to interpret them from Gou’s point of view. Something about this scene— or this episode— is resonating with him so much, it’s painful.

Maybe Gou needs to hear these words.

“…If I don’t understand, then that’s okay.” Ash recites from memory, and Gou’s eyes flicker to him in shock. Giving Gou’s knee a small, comforting squeeze, he continues: “And I don’t need immediate answers either. I’m fine if you just wanna be who you are.”

Gou’s gone speechless watching Ash’s little performance, holding a hand over his mouth. His chest keeps rising and falling in silence, still struggling to control his breath from the leftover sobs and aftershock gasps.

“Don’t worry about me. If it helps you… just do it. And if, at some point, you feel like being with a friend… “ Ash smiles, meaning every word. “I’ll be there. Whenever you need me. Don’t forget.”

Ash isn’t sure how long Gou stares back at him with those beautiful eyes before they both startle from a knock at the door. Gou straightens up and hastily wipes his eyes as Ms. Dee steps inside with the lead writer.

“Hi, Gou… is now an okay time to talk?”

“…Sure,” He murmurs, glancing back at Ash.

Realizing he should probably go, Ash stands to leave. “I’ll see you later—” he starts, but he’s halted by Gou’s sudden hand around his wrist, holding tight. Ash blinks down at him in surprise.

“You can stay,” is all Gou says, quickly taking his hand back, but the look in his misty eyes is saying please don’t leave.

(Or maybe you’re just projecting, Ashton.)

Either way, Ash smiles, standing by Gou’s side while Ms. Dee explains how moved she was by Gou’s emotional interpretation of the scene, and the writers would like to keep it, but they won’t move forward with the footage unless they have Gou’s full consent to do so.

Seeming like he feels much better now, Gou looks at Ash, then back at the adults. He just shrugs and says, “Sure.” Delia smiles softly in response as the lead writer pulls out his phone to make a note.

“Gou, are you sure?” Ash asks. He doesn’t want Gou to feel pressured into saying yes just because he’s afraid to disappoint them.

His co-star nods decisively. “Yeah. It’s okay.”

Across from them, the writer hums.“We might need to adjust the end of the episode, just slightly, so we can really lean into that emotional beat.” and Director Delia nods in agreement.

Ash gazes back down at Gou, inspired by the remnants of shining tears still dotting the corners of his eyes. “…Maybe Drizzile could reach over, like this—“ His muse freezes as Ash carefully swipes away a lingering tearstain with his thumb. “…And then… it would disappear, right?“

Everyone looks at him, kind of stunned— especially Gou— before the lead writer snaps happily and says, “Yes! That’s perfect!”

Ms. Dee smiles proudly at her boys. “We’ll take another shot at it tomorrow. Gou, get some rest. You both performed wonderfully today.”

Gou smiles rosily back at his partner, and Ash feels a weight lift off his shoulders.

—

S2e26

Ash reluctantly exits his trailer wearing the white team Rocket uniform, tugging at the uncomfortably high turtleneck and adjusting his long, black gloves. Thankfully, they only need him in this costume for a very brief nightmare scene with Goh.

Gou’s already outside in the matching uniform, looking positively giddy as he skips over.

“Hey, Gou,” Ash smiles warmly at the sight of Gou so happy. It’s a huge difference from the other day. “How are y—“

“Prepare for trouble!” Gou projects confidently, striking a pose with a flamboyant salute, chest puffed out, stance wide. When Ash just blinks back at him, Gou holds his pose, waiting for a response.

Of course Ash knows the motto by heart. He’s heard it a thousand times. With a chuckle, he says, “And make it double— Whoa!“ Gou forcibly spins him around by his shoulders so they’re leaning back-to-back, flaunting another pose with his arms crossed.

“To protect the world from devastation—!”

A smile blooms across Ashton’s face as he realizes Gou’s fully committed to the whole bit. He plays along. “—To unite all peoples within our nation—”

Holding one hand next to his chin with effeminate arrogance, Gou turns, casting an alluring look over his shoulder that almost makes Ashton swoon. “To denounce the evils of truth and love!”

Ash turns around to hide his pink face, throwing a dramatic hand toward the sky. “To extend our reach to the stars above—” He glances back to see the Team Rocket fan pulling a real rose out of nowhere, and he bursts out laughing. “—PfftHAHA! Where did you—?!”

His co-star cuts in, flourishing the rose at their make-believe camera. “Gou—!”

Ash can’t stop smiling. “—Ash!” Seizing the moment, he takes Gou’s hand in his and twirls him around before they strike one more pose together.

“Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!”

Ash is about to say his final line when Gou reaches into both pockets, grabbing two huge fistfuls of red rose petals and throwing them up with all his strength. The sight is totally stunning— Gou laughing, and all the chaotically beautiful, fluttering petals raining down all around them. When Ash looks up to watch the rest of the petals fall, he doesn’t realize Gou is turning for a full trust-fall, both eyes closed.

“AAH!!” Ash leaps forward to catch his crush around the waist, fixing his stance just in time to steady both of them. (Don’t drop him don’t drop him don’t drop him—) Ash curses under his breath and scrambles to hold Gou’s weight distribution as the enthusiast points one boot to the sky and reaches back with both arms poised mid-vogue.

As the last of the petals settle over Gou’s body, he smiles expectantly up at his partner in crime, and Ash is so rattled, he almost forgets his last line.

“Er— Surrender now, or prepare to fight!”

Mimi happens to be walking past them with her coffee, and without stopping, she calls out, “Meeeeeowth, dat’s ri-ight!”

The blissfully fanatic boy in his arms bursts out laughing as Ash pulls him to his feet again. Ash smiles, too, a mixture of genuine joy and terror. “Geez, I thought I was gonna drop you!!” he wheezes, clutching his chest. “Give me a little warning, next time—!”

Still in character, Gou just laughs, winks, and tosses the rose at him with a dramatic flourish. He gives Ash— utterly stupefied, flustered, Ash— one last grin before taking off running toward the set, full of excitement.

—

With October drawing to an end, Ash decides to throw a Halloween party for Gou and his friends. There’s a couple of his childhood buddies coming, but most of the guest list consists of Ashton’s close friends from the studio: Melissa, Macy, Ritchie, Dawn, Paul, Iris, Clem, Serena, Lana, Lillian, Mallory, Cleo, Kiawe, Chloe, and, (regrettably)— Gary.

And, look, Todd’s always been a great friend and all, but if Ash is being honest with himself, he's not super thrilled to be inviting his romantic rival and maybe-boyfriend over to his house. But he’s also pretty certain Gou wouldn’t be comfortable coming to a party that big without his best friend.

Ashton and his mom go all out with the decorations— decor, party lights, candles, pumpkins, themed snacks, the works. And, for his costume: a Shiny Mr. Mime, complete with jester shoes, knee pads, comically large gloves, jagged horns, face makeup, and green dodgeball cutouts for his limbs and chest. All that’s left is to throw on a fun playlist and open the door to his friends.

“Heeey, Ash!“ Melissa comes in hot for a hug, followed by Lana and Iris soon after.

“Hey! Where are your costumes?” Ash chides, checking all their fits. They’re dressed up nice for the party, but hardly festive.

Melissa and Lana trade a shrug with each other as Iris grins and flashes her dangly ghost earrings at him. Ash sighs in mock disappointment before he lets them all in.

Macy, Ritchie, Paul, Clem, Cleo, Mallory, Lillian, Kiawe, and all his old friends let him down, too. “C’mon! What is this? I said it was a costume party!”

They all just laugh as they pass him, offering hugs and shoulder claps along the way. Ash groans as they form a small crowd around the living room dance floor. No one's dancing quite yet, just chattering and catching up with one another.

Only Dawn, Chloe, and Serena made a real effort, wearing goofy beaglepuss glasses, Litten ears, and matching retro minidresses. “We’re Chloe and the Beagle-Pussycats!” Dawn purrs, fingering a fake plastic guitar. Serena twirls her drumsticks in the air, fumbling one of them, and Chloe snorts behind her hollow, plastic nose.

“God, thank you!” Ash makes a scene as he invites them in. “Someone read the invite!”

He looks down as his phone buzzes in his hands with an incoming text.

Todd

(8:15)

sorry we’re running late! 

“‘Sup, Ashley?” An annoyingly familiar voice calls out from behind him, and Ash’s jaw ticks.

Garrett comes striding over to the door with his arm around some giggly stranger Ash didn’t invite.

“…Gary,” Ash replies with disdain as his date swarms them with selfie requests. Without introducing herself, she walks away with her nose in her phone, flitting around the rest of the starstudded party and badgering everyone for selfies. “Nice couple’s costume. Are you supposed to be an insufferable celebrity and his vapid groupie?”

Garrett just grins like he’s not even going to deny it. “Oh, just humor her. We’ll be out of your hair soon enough.”

Across the room, Dawn is glaring daggers at Gary as the stranger begs her for a picture. Unbothered, Gary waves with his fingers and winks at her.

“Wow. You really have no shame, do you?” Ash closes the door to the party so it’s just him and Gary standing outside, illuminated by the orange and violet houselights.

Ignoring his jabs, Gary smiles warmly. “How’ve you been?”

Feeling slightly taken aback by Gary’s genuinely friendly question, Ashton just mutters, “…Fine. You?”

“You seem kinda wound up,” his ex observes, and Ash’s brow twitches. “It usually takes at least 5 minutes of my glorious company before you start getting snappy with me.”

With a sharp sigh, Ash holds his temple. “Sorry.” With more composure, he asks, “What’s up with you and Dawn?”

“Oh, you didn’t hear? We went out for… two months? Just broke up a couple weeks ago. Totally incompatible.” Garrett explains, clearly not too broken up about it.

Ashton puffs a sigh as he shakes his head in disbelief. “Wow. Good luck with that. Dawn can really hold a grudge.”

“You’re one to talk” Gary comments, the ghost of a smirk on his lips. Before Ash can argue, he asks, “So, how about you? You fall in love with another co-star yet?”

”What?!” Ash snaps, his voice unusually high, and Gary’s smirk instantly spreads open.

“Hah! I was just joking!” He laughs with genuine mirth, taking a nosy step closer to corner Ash against the door. “Who is it? Are they here?”

“No—!” Gary revels in the blush spreading across his cheeks. “I mean, No, you’ve got it all wrong—”

His phone buzzes in his hand again, and he reflexively glances down at another text from Todd. The moment Gary clocks it, he snatches Ash’s phone.

“Hey!!”

“’See you soon!’… smiley face…winky ghost face…” Gary’s eyes flick over the screen as he effortlessly holds the phone high over Ashton’s head. “Who’s ‘Todd’…? Wait— Waaait, wait-wait—” Gary’s wicked grin falls open, delightfully astonished. “—Todd Snap?!”

“No!!!”

Gary clicks Todd’s profile picture and whistles. “Okay~! I can see it! He’s cute—”

Ashton punches Garrett in the stomach, and his ex doubles over just enough for him to grab his phone back. “Fine. Ask him out. See if I care.” He drones, closing the app. But when Gary’s annoyingly keen eyes get a glimpse of his home screen, he realizes he messed up.

The background is his favorite selfie of him and Gou smiling, holding studio-brand Pichu and Pikachu plushies.

“Ohhhhhh,” Gary croaks through the pain, his grin spreading. “Ohhhh-ho-ho…!”

“Shut up.” Ash growls, his eyes murderous. “I mean it.”

Gary gives him one of those infuriatingly easygoing shrugs, throwing up both hands in surrender. “Fiiine, if you won’t tell me anything, I’ll just ask him for all the juicy details next week!”

All the color in Ash’s face pales as he utters, “What?”

“Ms. Dee didn’t tell you? There’s been a change in the schedule. We start filming the Project Mew arc on Friday.” Gary juts out his tongue and grins with a twinkle in his eyes. “Gary’s back, baby!”

“Kill me,” Ash groans, throwing his head back against the front door in despair. He’s not emotionally prepared at all for Gary to be back in the studio.

“Oh, c’mon, it’ll be fun! Just like old times…”

“You mean all the times I wanted to wring your neck?”

“Among other things,” Gary rests an arm on the door next to him, leaning closer with that impish grin. “By the way,” he adds, twirling one of Ash’s costume horns around his finger. “This demon-clown get up is really doing something for me.”

“I’m a mime, not a—” Ashton halts and scoffs incredulously. “—are you seriously flirting with me right now?”

“Maybe.” Gary’s eyes fall on Ash’s lips. “Is it working?”

As much as Ash hates Gary, he’s still annoyingly attractive, especially up close, where Ash can see the moonlight illuminating all the ways his features have grown and sharpened since they broke up. Gary always knew how to rile Ash up, and whenever that frustration got the best of him— whether it flared, boiled over, or outright exploded— it somehow always ended in an equally heated kiss.

Still, as frustrated as Ash is right now, that’s not what makes his breath hitch when Garrett’s dark, green eyes lock with his. It’s hard to forget how much they used to really love each other. How long has it been since they really looked at one another? Ash’s brows tilt up as his defensive, spitfire behavior goes quiet, like a vulnerable, flickering candle.

He shouldn’t be closing his eyes and letting Gary move closer to cup his cold cheeks. He especially shouldn’t give Gary the satisfaction of persuading him. But Ash hasn’t been held or kissed or truly loved for almost two years, and in a moment of weakness, he meets Gary halfway for a tender kiss.

Gary must sense the emotion on Ash’s lips, because he responds with unusually gentle carriage, kissing him sweet and slow.

(What are you doing, Ash?!!!!)

Tilting their heads together, his ex smiles as Ash’s emotion gradually takes them both deeper.

(Oh, Wow.)

He forgot how much he missed this.

(You’re such a disaster…)

(You’re gonna regret this!)

(Really? Gary?! Your ex??!)

He inhales sharply as the hands cupping his face travel across his jawline and into his hair.

(You’re only doing this because you’re lonely)

The voices in his head grow too loud as Ash pulls back, hanging his head and pushing Gary away at arms length. All the warmth between them dissipates as a cool evening breeze drifts through, gently shifting all the house decorations of ghosts, webs, and green-eyed monsters.

“…Missed you too,” Gary teases with a whisper, and Ash’s fists clench where they’re holding Gary’s collar.

In the same moment, Ash hears a car door shutting and familiar voices coming up the drive toward them. He breaks away from Gary with a curse, shoving him off the front steps and into the nearest shrubs. His ex hits the dark flowerbed with a yelp as the rattling leaves envelop him and go still.

“Stay down!” Ash hisses. There’s no way he’s letting Gary speak to Gou tonight.

Gary must find all this amusing, because he obeys, stifling a fit of snickers in the shadows.

“Hey, Ash!” Todd calls, waving merrily in a fleece teddy-bear onesie with a construction paper cutout of a yellow crescent moon taped to the bear’s forehead. Ash goes still as Gou steps into the light behind him, wearing red goggles on his head, a red bandana around his neck, and… his Goh costume? He’s holding something large behind his back.

“T…Todd— Gou…! Hey…!” Ash stammers. He can only pray neither of them notice how flushed he is.

Todd grins over at Gou expectantly, clearly waiting for him to show Ash what he’s holding, but the anxious boy just hesitates, staring at the ground. “Go on, show him!” Todd whispers.

Ash holds his breath as Gou reveals a large, red cut out shaped like a Rotom phone with a hole for his face. He pulls the bandana over his nose, tips his goggles down, and fiddles with a switch on the back. The cutout suddenly lights up, glimmering around the details and edges with alternating LED lights. His angular goggles are glowing white and blue inside, too, and Ash instantly recognizes they’re meant to resemble Rotom’s eyes.

Gou sways nervously as Ash openly stares at him, totally slackjawed. “Happy Halloween!” he calls out, muffled slightly by his Rotom smile mask.

“What d’you think of our costumes?” Todd grins. “I'm a Toddiursa.” Giving Gou a playful nudge, he says, “Aaand…”

“And… I'm a Goh-kédex…” Gou murmurs reluctantly, like he’s embarrassed to say it out loud.

Gary fails to suppress a giggle from the shrubs, and both of Ash's guests look over, perturbed. Todd says, “What was that?”

“Oh!! J-just spooky props–” Ash lies, gesturing at all the outdoor decor. “Some of this stuff laughs, y'know…?”

He waves in front of an animatronic ghost on the porch, and Gou jumps as it bursts into a mechanical fit of eerie, warbling giggles. Todd laughs, too.

“Anyway, Uhh… Come in, come in!” The party host insists, anxious to get them out of Gary's sight.

As Gou’s passing him, the Pokémon enthusiast smiles with his eyes and says, “I like your Shiny Mr. Mime costume.”

”Thanks.” Ash replies tensely, struggling to meet Gou’s bright blue eyes with the blush still burning in his cheeks. He’s the only one so far who recognized what he is.

”Mr. Mime. The Barrier Pokemon,” Gou-kedex replies from memory, and Ashton’s heart skips. “It uses pantomime to create invisible walls—”

Gary's nameless girl comes skipping over to interrupt them. “Heeey! Have you seen–”

“Yup he'soutsidethanksforcoming–!” Ashton shoos her out the door, closing and locking it the moment she passes the threshold.

When Ash peers through the window on the door to make sure the girl leaves, he sees Garrett spring up out of the shrubs to scare her. He almost laughs when she shrieks and slaps him upside the head with her purse.

By the time Ash turns his high-strung attention back to the party, several of his friends are looking up curiously at Gou's elaborate, glowing costume. “I thought this was a costume party??” his co-star squeaks, eyes darting around the large room of mostly normal, well-dressed teenagers.

Ash struggles to keep a cool face as he watches Gou take a step away from him, shrinking behind Todd like it’s the only place he feels safe. On top of his regrettably heart-racing kiss with Gary, watching his crush huddle against Todd leaves a dull, aching throb deep in his chest.

(Do you even deserve to be jealous right now?) Ash feels terrible as his kiss with Gary flashes through his mind again, like he’s betrayed Gou somehow.

(Come on, that’s ridiculous.) How can he betray a relationship that doesn’t even exist? 

He’s getting seriously sick of all these awful feelings brewing inside his guts.

Todd’s about to lean back and say something when Melissa comes rushing over, surprised to see her old co-star again. “Oh my god—! Todd?!”

“Mist!!” Todd laughs, turning back around to hug her. “It’s been so long!”

Without his best friend to shield him anymore, Gou hurries to turn the lights off on his prop and remove his goggles.

Snapping to his senses, Ash says, “Gou, wait! Your costume is amazing! Please don’t put it away.” Gou falters, seemingly weighing his urge to hide with his urge to trust Ash. The party host gives him an encouraging smile, hoping it sways him. “Me and Todd are in costumes, too. And look, so are Chloe, Dawn, and Serena!

Right on cue, Chloe and the Beaglepussycats come strutting over, putting their silly glasses back on. “Nice costume, Gou!” Chloe calls out kindly, and Gou’s anxious shoulders slowly come down.

Dawn flashes him a bright smile under her mustache, extending her hand out to him. “Nice to meet you, Gou! My name is Dawn!” she chimes, as if Gou needs any introduction. Misty and Todd join the circle, too.

Gou responds cordially, laughing bashfully as Dawn vigorously shakes his hand. “Aha… yeah,” he stammers shyly, ”Um, I’m a big fan." Dawn beams back at him, her smiling eyes twinkling with the party lights. "I-I'm a big fan of all of you, actually," he adds, looking at Serena and Melissa, too.

"Aww!" Misty coos, giving Gou a quick side hug. "Welcome to the Pokéfam."

Serena smiles too, waving sweetly. “We’re fans of you, too!”

Ash watches jealously as Gou laughs and short circuits again, like he doesn't know who to respond to, first. “Uh… that’s…wow."

Curious for a closer look at Gou’s costume, Serena asks, “Did you make all this yourself?” sounding impressed.

“Well, uh, my friend Todd here helped me…“ Gou attempts to deflect, but Todd just laughs.

“He’s being modest. All I did was measure his head.”

The girls all giggle at that, and Todd grins when Gou’s face starts turning red as the Rotom he’s cosplaying. Serena asks to see the costume light up again, and Gou instantly obliges. Everyone nearby oohs and ahhs at the lights, showering Gou’s design in all sorts of praises. Only Ash seems to notice how nervous Gou looks, laughing anxiously in the spotlight of their attention.

Before Ash can get a word in edgewise, Dawn grabs Gou’s hand, leading him even further into the room. “Let’s dance!”

“U-um, I don’t—“ Gou tries, but Dawn just tuts at him.

“Don’t tell me you can’t dance,” She commands with a smile. Still holding Gou’s hand, she bops her hips with the tempo and holds her other hand behind her head. “Chloe told me you love musicals. So? Show me some moves!”

Ashton’s heartbeat starts to run cold as Dawn reaches back and flourishes her long, blue hair to the beat.

(She’s totally flirting with Gou.)

Behind them, Iris grins and snaps her fingers. “Get it, girl!” she shouts over the music, and Ash realizes he isn’t the only one watching them.

Gou goes rigid as he glances left and right at several of Ash’s nearby friends, now watching them expectantly. The Alola gang gives him an encouraging cheer, but otherwise, Gou’s surrounded by strangers and famous actors.

“I warned her he was shy…!” Chloe shakes her head, grimacing through her fingers like she’s about to witness a total train wreck.

Todd just chuckles like he knows something they all don’t. “Just wait…”

They all watch as Gou humors Dawn with a twirl, and Ash can’t tell if he’s still nervous or actually warming up to the music. Maybe both. His excitable dance partner strikes a pose before Gou pulls her back in and improvises a small shoulder roll, mirroring some of Dawn’s steps. Then Dawn squeals in absolute delight as Gou gently drops to one knee and lifts her hand, inviting her to skip in a circle around him.

“We’ve taken a few dance classes together,” Todd explains, watching Gou with a big, proud smile on his face. Misty and Serena whoop for Dawn as Gou reaches around the small of his back, taking her other hand and threading them through a series of dizzying pretzel spins.

Chloe’s jaw drops. Ash is right there with her. Everyone else starts buzzing, clapping, and hollering.

It's seriously amazing how Gou can be so shy and anxious one minute, to completely stunning and show-stopping moments later. Once he's performing, it doesn't matter how many eyes there are on him. He’s performed live for several hundreds of strangers during his time in theatre, and all year long, he’s been filmed for tens of thousands more. He’s truly a star in every sense of the word.

“Oooh, Todd! Can you show me how to do that, too?” Misty asks, bouncing on her toes.

“Hm?” Todd tears his eyes away from Gou with a cheery smile. “Oh– Sure!”

Todd and Melissa go over to join them with Serena and Chloe in tow, and a radius of party-people all cheer; Iris, Lillie, Mallory, and Cleo join in on the fun, too, all dancing with wildly varying levels of expertise. As Chloe cuts in to dance with Dawn, Gou slows down, looking kind of bewildered to find himself suddenly surrounded by dancing stars.

Ash has no idea what face he’s making when Gou’s glowing blue eyes find his from across the room. They linger on him for a few precious seconds, probably confused to see Ashton the superstar just standing by himself in the foyer of his own party (like a loser). Then Todd steps into Gou’s line of sight, pulling him into a synchronized dance number they must have learned together. 

(Show off) Ash thinks bitterly of his rival, retreating into the kitchen by the snacks. He’s not really in a dancing mood.

Dawn comes floating in a few minutes later, looking breathless and high on life. “Ash!” She gasps, stopping briefly to sip her cup of punch. “I was just looking for you.”

“Yeah?” Ash mumbles, busying himself with finger food so he doesn’t have to look at her.

“You and Gou are friends, right? D’you know if he’s single?”

Ash should’ve seen this coming. Answering honestly, he mumbles, “I dunno.”

Dawn comes over to sit with him at the table, batting her eyelashes. “Wanna be my wingman?”

Ash cringes inwardly. “Um…”

“Pleeeease?”

“Dawn, you’ve only known him for, like, 10 minutes.“ Her old co-star responds cattily, but Dawn doesn’t seem to notice.

“I knooow, but I like him! He’s cute. I wanna ask him out.”

“I don’t… think that’s a good idea…“ Ash says uneasily, his insides getting all mixed up again.

Frowning back at him, Dawn says, “Why not?”

“Well… ‘cause you’re gonna be co-stars soon.” Ash fiddles with the rest of his food, starting to lose his appetite. “If you have a big break up or whatever, it’ll make work really awkward for everyone.”

Dawn sinks back in her chair and groans, “I guess,” as she concedes, pouting all the while. “Ugh! Life so isn’t fair!” She throws a tiny fit in her seat, drumming her feet on the floor like she wants to kick something.

“I know,” Ash empathizes under his breath.

Dawn takes a deep inhale and stands abruptly, ready to go back to the party. “Oh well… maybe I can ask him out when my gig's over.” She perks up with a big grin. “Thanks anyway, Ash!”

She skips back to the dance floor as Ash stares at his hands, imagining the day Dawn wins over Gou before he can.

Why stop there? Misty's always liked guys who can dance, and Gou’s been a huge fan of her since episode one.

Serena seems interested in him, too. She’s easily the most beautiful girl he knows, beloved by millions of teenage boys around the world. Would Gou turn her down?

And he can't forget about Chloe-- The two of them have a lot in common. They've only been growing closer every day, and Ash knows they've been chatting online, because he sees all their shared posts and interactions.

Ash hardly gets a moment of peace before another crowd comes into the kitchen for munchies, so he pretends to be really invested with something on his phone. Ritchie, Mallory and Lillie say hi anyway, thanking Ash for the fun party. Macy and Iris praise the cute Halloween-themed food, asking Ash to send them the recipes for everything.

Their host smiles accordingly all the while, but he doesn’t say much. By the time the crowd drifts back to the dance floor, Ash looks up to see Gou loitering close by, watching him. With a concerned tilt to his brow, he asks, “ ...Are you okay?”

Putting down his phone, Ash gives him another one of his everything-is-fine smiles. “Yeah, why?”

Gou looks away and shrugs, shuffling his feet. “…Can I join you?”

Once again, Gou’s consideration of him makes Ash's heart flutter. He's the only person at this party who noticed Ash is withdrawing from everyone. Ash wants to say, Yes, Of course, Please do, but some moody, self-sabotaging part of himself just says, “You don't have to.”

Gou hesitates, but he grabs a quick plate of food and comes over anyway, taking the seat Dawn left askew and scooting in with it.

“…I know I should be used to all this by now, but…” Gou murmurs, looking back at the party like he's in a daze. “...I can’t believe I'm at a party in the hollywood hills with all the stars of Pokémon.”

Ash watches him, remembering all the times Gou used to look at him like that: Starstruck, privileged, honored… awed.

Before he can stop himself, Ash says, “You don't get all starry-eyed like that with me anymore.”

He should be glad— they’ve grown comfortable with one another. But right now, he’s just envious.

Gou looks taken aback by his comment, choking slightly on some chips going down the wrong pipe. “…Starry-eyed?”

Sensing an opportunity to tease him, Ash leans closer to inspect Gou's wide, bright blue eyes. “Hmmmmm… Nope. No stars. Not even a sparkle.”

“Wh…? What are you saying?” Gou coughs and blushes, turning his head away. When Ash just chuckles in response, Gou turns even redder. Even if he's lost the sparkle in Gou’s eyes, he hopes he never loses that blush.

Ash freezes where he is as Todd comes into the kitchen with a smile, noticing Gou's red face. “...What are you two talking about?” he asks, quirking a curious brow.

Since Gou’s still choking, Ash flashes Todd a smug little grin. “Sorry. NDA.” Gou looks back at him, eyes wide, probably wondering why he's lying.

“...Ah, I see,” Todd replies coolly, striding closer to join them. Even though he could take a seat next to them, he leans over Gou's chair, casually wrapping his arms around Gou's shoulders and laying his chin on Gou's head. His childhood friend just lets him rest there, totally unbothered, so this must be a thing they do often.

Ash smiles, the only evidence of his irritation showing through the steady drum of his fingers against the table.

"Oh— Ash," Todd says, reaching into his onesie to grab his phone. "Could you take a picture of our costumes?"

He holds Ash's gaze as he hugs Gou a little closer, almost like he's daring Ash to notice. 

(Hold on.)

(Is Todd acting... posessive?)

Or is Ash just imagining things? Maybe he’s projecting again.

"Sure..." Ash mumbles, biting his tongue as he watches Todd tilt their heads together on the screen. He snaps a couple quick pictures and hands the phone back over to him.

"Let's get one of all three of us," Gou suggests, intercepting Todd's phone to turn the camera around.

"Yeah!" Todd smiles, snaking an arm around Gou, but again, his eyes stay carefully on Ash, almost as if he’s gauging Ash's reaction.

No— Todd is definitely acting jealous.

(Takes one to know one.) Ash thinks, smiling back at him.

But wait— Is Todd jealously guarding a secret relationship with Gou, or... is he challenging Ash as a genuine rival for Gou's attention?

After all, Ash noticed Todd's crush on Gou a long time ago. Could it be Todd's noticed his?

Ashton feels his tense smile twitch as he leans in for the group selfie. Gou just beams and snaps a picture, oblivious to the rivalry brewing behind him.