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Summary:

Brandon never thought he'd be the cause of his parents deaths, or the fact his relationship with his family is now strained.

Notes:

Hi!! I really hope you enjoy!!

to state Bran and Niko are the same age in this AU.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Despair

Chapter Text

Brandon

 

“Mom, Dad I really want these paints for my birthday.”

 

I told my parents that since my 15th birthday was coming up, the paints in question are on the other side of the island.

 

Which is why I asked, Landon on the other hand thought I was being unreasonable.

 

“You're not going to die if you don’t get it tomorrow, just enjoy the day, baby bro.”

 

I roll my eyes at him, “Lan, Don’t you want something as well? C’mon just ask.”

 

Our parents just chuckle softly at my desperation. “We could always order some men to get both of your gifts.” Our dad, Levi, said.

 

“Why? We could go together, like on a date.” Mum, Astrid, offers. Lan and I look at each other knowing what they actually mean.

 

Dad agreed immediately like a love sick fool. 

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Lan, Glyn and I, all stand together in a line.

 

“Alright, Your mother and myself are going out now, we’ll be back in the morning.” Dad announces.

 

“Why are you going so late?” Sweet Glyn asks, I don’t know if it’s because she’s only 12 but Lan and I have a pretty good idea on why.

 

“To star gaze, Bran you’re in charge.” Lan scoffs at that.

 

“Why’s my little brother in charge?” He asks with sarcasm. 

 

“Because I trust him more and he’s only younger by 1 minute.” Dad answered him with a calm demeanor. Mom has just been smiling the entire time.

 

Landon takes it with a scowl and Glyn just giggles softly, while I feel my cheeks burn with slight embarrassment.

 

“Alright kiddos just remember Nolan is here to help you for everything. Since that’s what he gets paid for.” With that our parents say goodbye and we say goodbye back.

 

There is a moment of silence before I break it. “Want to play some board games?”

 

Landon frowns “That’s so childish.”

 

On the other hand Glyn happily agrees, “Yes!” 

 

“I didn’t hear a no Lan, and I’ll go get them.” With that I left to go get them.

 

When I returned, both of them were sitting on the floor.

 

And that’s how we spent the entire night all the way till it was 8 am. Just playing random board games.

 

Even though I should’ve made sure they were in bed, like the reasonable one.

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By the end of it both of them were fast asleep on the couch, I laid a blanket over them and left to make breakfast for my parents.

 

I was preparing the kitchen, when Nolan walked into it.

 

“Sir, there’s an issue that demands immediate attention.” What the hell could it be?

 

In my half awake body I walk towards the door. Where I find Uncle Adain and Aunt Elsa.

 

“Hi Uncle and Aunt” I mutter, Adain ruffles my hair obviously noticing that I was walking on no sleep.

 

“Hey, I think you should sit down for this, Are the others awake?” Okay I’m getting scared now. What on Earth could be so serious that I need to take a seat?

 

“No, they just went to sleep.” That’s when I noticed Aunt Elsa has been avoiding looking at me, her eyes looking tear stained.

 

I lead them to the kitchen where you can’t be heard in the living, in case they do wake up I don’t want to startle them.

 

After we all take a seat, Uncle starts talking. “Look there’s no easy way to put this

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

…Your parents are dead.” What? What? What? Their what?

 

I can’t formulate anything, Aunt Elsa starts crying again, and Uncle Adrian puts a comfortable hand on her shoulder.

 

“What?” That’s the only thing I can manage to say.

 

“Your parents were driving back, when a drunk truck driver rammed into them at full force. They died on impact.” He tells me in a shaky voice.

 

They died getting our birthday gifts.

 

They died getting the gift I wanted, and picking something random for Landon.

 

They died getting my selfish request.

 

After recomposing himself, Uncle kept talking. “There’s a lot of technical stuff we have to do now, but I’ll give you the rest of the day to  break the news to your brother and sister. I know I should do it, but we have to do a lot of work for them.”

 

I can only nod in silence at the weight of my parents' deaths crushing the air I have left inside my lungs.

 

Eventually they leave to break the news to everyone else. Leaving me to tell Glyndon and Landon.

 

I’ll tell them when they wake up naturally, till then I need to find something to do in my room.

 

Surprisingly I don’t start crying, I don’t rip my room apart, I don’t yell or curse at god for being too cruel. Instead I put on a watch my mother gave me last year, it’s now one of the last presents she’ll ever have given me.

 

When it clicks into place I put all my focus on the ticking noise,

 

Tick.

 

Tick.

 

Tick.

 

It doesn’t comfort me, if anything it reminds me of every second I robbed my siblings of having our parents, because of a stupid gift. That only I wanted.

 

I’m crying, no sobbing into my pillow, not to wake them. All I want to do is to go to sleep and wake with my parents back.

 

But I know that won’t happen, not now, not ever. Because I killed them.

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I forced myself to stop crying, clean myself up, and go make them something to eat when they do wake up.

 

The entire time I was cooking I could almost see dad. Sometimes I’d hear him whispering an instruction. 

 

I made a simple english breakfast, I guess the smell woke them up since they came into the kitchen like stray, tired, cats.

 

“Thank you Bran… Happy birthday to the both of you.” Glyn mumbles, while Lan just grunts like a cave man for some reason.

 

“Take a seat, Uncle Adian and Aunt Elsa wanted me to tell you something.” I say trying my best to conceal the absolute grief in my voice.

 

“What happened?” Landon cuts to the chase immediately, I point to the seat next to Glyn since she took it as soon as I said it. He reluctantly follows suit.

 

“Our parents… were hit by a drunk driver last night… They didn’t make it.” I can’t look them in the eyes. I know the anguish on their faces will be because of my selfish want.

 

There’s a pregnant moment of silence before Glyndon breaks it. “Brandon, this is a really bad joke.” All I can do is shake my head to show them, I’m not joking.

 

“Oh god!” I hear Glyn shout before breaking out into uncontrollable tears. All I can do is hear her cries, I force myself to look at them.

 

Glyn looks beyond heart broken, I don’t think she’ll ever be able to recover from this day. I turn my head to Landon.

 

He doesn’t have a single emotion on display right now, but I can feel him glaring at me as if to say ‘it’s your fault’. I try to tell myself I’m playing tricks on myself. But the more I think about it the more I believe it.

 

My chain of thoughts are broken by Landon throwing his plate of food towards my head, I barely manage to avoid it. “It’s all your fault! If you didn’t have to be such a brat, then they wouldn’t have gone!” 

 

I already know that, I don’t interrupt him for a moment. If this is his way of mourning, I’ll let him mourn.   

 

Glyn cries harder at seeing Lan melt down, She’s so young. And now won’t have our parents. 

Tick.

 

Tick.

 

Tick.   

 

“I never want to see you again!” With that Landon storms off to his room.

 

I quietly comfort Glyn, for the rest of the day.

 

Yay to Lan’s happy 15th. 

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Eventually I managed to tell my uncle that I didn’t want to stay with him, I wanted a fresh start.

 

He offered to stay with Grace for a while, since she’s apparently going to the states for a few years, then I can come back. I agreed since she is was one of my mother’s closest friends.

 

And that’s how I ended up in a two bedroom apartment with her, I told my family, it broke Glyndon even more. I can’t stop hurting her. And I told Landon through his bedroom door.

 

“I know you’ve had a terrible week, but it’ll get better with time.” Grace coated softly. She’s been kinder recently, most likely due to the fact by parents are dead and then 3 days later I moved to a different country.

 

I just nod my head quietly. “You’ll start school in the fall, until then it’ll just be the two of us.” Grace says with a grin. It makes me uncomfortable before I brush it off.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

It’s been a few weeks since I moved up to the states, and well, I hate everything about it. The mannerless people, how they all shove each, and the bright sun that shines nearly everyday. I also recently found out that I’m in New York. I feel like I should’ve known that before coming here.

 

Grace keeps getting closer, she keeps comforting me more often for silly things, and she keeps praising my art that I put no effort into. 

 

It’s like she wants something from me.

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Disgusting.

 

That’s all I feel right now.

 

I found out what she wanted from me.

 

It was my body. 

 

I’m trying my best to wash away all this disgusting black ink that somehow found its way towards me.

 

I want to rub my skin raw. Chop off every place she put her disgusting hands on me.

 

I want to call my family and tell them what just happened, cry in their arms, and never let it happen again.

 

After I finish showing not that it did anything, I call Glyn my closest sibling.

 

After 3 rings she answers.

 

“Bran? How are you?” Glyn asks politely, and suddenly the words die in my throat, I couldn’t get them out even if a gun was pointed to my head.

 

“Good” I chock out. “How are you?” 

 

“Good, like today____” It’s nice hearing the day my sister had, better to know that she’s safe and sound.

 

After she finishes I ask about Landon “How’s Lan?” The nickname now feels foreign in my mouth, ever since that day he hasn’t spoken a word to me.

 

“Oh you know, causing trouble.” Glyn says with a sigh, before talking about her new drawing. 

 

Way too soon Glyn hangs up.

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“If you tell anyone about what happened, I’ll get your brother instead of you.” Was what Grace told me first thing in the morning.

 

She wouldn’t do it right? The look on her face tells me she’s not kidding. “Alright…” I mumble out. The way I mumble it out should put my family name to shame. I’m the mistake that keeps ruining my family's name.

 

She leans over and taps my cheek, I want to slap the shit out of her. 

 

“I’ll also post the video I took, I’ll show how pathetic you were during your first time. Don’t worry, I’ll help you get better.”

 

I feel the black ink envelop me again, I want to go puck. I need to do something. But I can’t, I’m powerless.

 

Eventually she serves breakfast, I take a few bites. “Alright I have to go to work now, I’ll be back soon.” After I hear the door lock I run to the bathroom and throw up all the food that hasn’t been digested yet.

 

It was oddly comforting.

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That’s how I spent the rest of my summer, getting raped by Grace, then calling Glyn and hearning her talk about her day.

 

Eventually it came to an end and I had to sign up for school. Grace chose a private school, one where they only care about your family’s influence, The King’s name doesn’t spread this far.

 

Apparently in U.S. terms I was in the 10th grade, which gave me plenty of opportunities to sign up for clubs and other things.

 

The ones I did sign up for were Student government, Lacrosse, gardening, cooking, and a painting club. 

 

Which means I don’t have any free time. In simpler terms Grace can’t touch me as easily now.

 

It was smooth sailing till Nikolai Sokolov took sight of me.

Chapter 2: Bloody

Notes:

Hope you enjoy!!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Brandon

 

I fell into a schedule, it made my life so much easier to deal with.

 

It goes like this:

 

5:30am

Get up and run till 6

 

6:10am 

Take a shower and get dressed

 

6:30am

Sit with Grace and have breakfast.

 

6:20am

Leave for school.

 

6:45am

Help organize everything asked to do.

 

8:00am

Start the school day.

 

3:00pm

Finish the school day.

 

3:10pm

Go to the student council meeting as a treasury.

 

3:50pm

Get out of the meeting (With my new assigned work) and head over to Lacrosse.

 

4:10pm 

Start practice, as captain.

 

5:00pm

Leave the school. Head over to the community center for art classes.

 

5:20pm

Start the painting process.

 

5:30pm

Leave the community center and head to my place of work.

 

5:45pm

I started my shift at a small flower shop.

 

7:00pm

Head to Grace’s apartment.

 

7:25pm 

Start dinner as Grace takes a shower.

 

8:00pm

Eat dinner with Grace.

 

8:35pm 

Do the dishes.

.

 

.

 

.

Sometimes at 9:00pm

Grace “teaches” me…

.

 

.

 

.

9:30pm

Take a shower.

 

10:15pm

Start any activity I need to do.

 

12:00am

Go to sleep.

 

That’s the usual schedule I live by, I still call Glyn but the time zone makes it difficult to talk to her more than once or twice a week.

 

The puking is still relevant in my life, I’ll get over it soon. 

.

.

.

When it’s a restless night, I let my mind wander. I wonder how my life could’ve been like, if they were still here, if Landon ever wants to speak to me, my cousins whom I haven’t talked to for months now, if I chose to stay in the UK would my life be better? 

 

It’s always accompanied by the ticking sound, from the watch, I haven’t taken off since that dreadful day. 

 

On the worst nights, I have terrible nightmares. I wake up covered in sweat and out of breath. 

 

It’s not the best schedule but I’ll have to get used to it, as soon as possible.

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I was currently trying to get to my class, when this heathen shoved into me.

 

Americans truly have no manners. “Watch where you're going.” The voice called out.  I caught a glimpse of who it was.

 

He was built like a freaking wall, and I’m pretty sure he has tattoos. I’m not sure if that’s even school approved.

 

Even if it wasn’t the school wouldn’t care if your parents pay enough. 

 

I hate the United States, compared to the UK it’s god awful.

 

I scoff him off, and head towards, homeroom.

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The class has two desks touching each other. No one sits next to me, I haven’t made a single friend in the time that school has been around.

 

I get surprised when I hear the seat next to me screech against the floor, and see the same boy who shoved me a few minutes ago.

 

The brute somehow manages to roughly shove himself into the seat. Before turning to me and giving a half-assed “Nikolai.” 

 

I miss the UK so much. At least there people have the manners to say ‘I’m’

 

I refuse to forget my manners, but I find they aren’t as needed here. “I’m Brandon” 

 

Nikolai has a perfectly symmetrical face, nice sharp features, and blue eyes with the slightest bit of grey. He’d make a great muse one day. 

 

My train of thoughts gets interrupted by the teacher, who’s name I’m still learning, starts yelling about how the class is too noisy.

 

That’s when I realized I was staring at Nikolai, and he was staring back.

 

I quickly look away, trying to keep the flush out of my face the best I could. I hear him scoff which I chose to ignore.

 

Why am I reacting like this?

 

Tick.

 

It’s the first time something like this has ever happened.

 

Tick.

 

My thoughts are interrupted by the teacher calling on me. “Mr. King, could you please help Mr. Sokolov find the rest of his classes?”

 

I nod my head before turning to Nikolai and asking “Can I see your schedule?” He hands me a crumpled up paper. I try my best to keep a polite smile on my face.

 

“So what are your classes?” He’s obviously just trying to make small talk. I take a moment to mentally compare my schedule and his.

 

“We have 4 out of 8 classes together. So you’ll see me all day today.” It’s the truth I’ll only see him on some days, and on others we won’t see each other at all.

 

He looks a little bit annoyed. “Still haven't told me the other 4.” Before I could answer his question, the bell rang, obviously, meaning we had to go to our other classes.

 

Terrible timing since I hadn’t packed up yet “Follow me.” I told Nikolai, after quickly shoving everything into my bag. And not in the order I like to put in there.

 

He rolled his eyes at me, which was quite rude. 

.

 

.

 

.

 

The rest of our classes we sat nowhere near each other, mostly because our last names aren’t close to each other.

 

I hate to admit I was a bit disappointed when I realized that, I also couldn’t find out how he goes home because the council meeting was about to start. I did manage to tell him goodbye at the end of the school day.

 

I’d consider my school day, not including all my extra activities, … tolerable…

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I’m cooking dinner. For myself and Grace, as much as… dislike that woman I have to be civil. Since she has all the power. “What’s for dinner?” 

 

“Steak.” I hear her walk behind me. I know what she's planning. I know I can’t stop it. 

 

She wraps her hands around my waist, One hand goes up higher while the other hand goes lower. This action of hers freezes my entire body, rigid is closer to describe it.

 

"Why don't we do something more fun?" I know what she means. I hate what she means. I hate how her hands move around my body. I hate how she's made me hate everything that touches my skin. I hate that she affects me.

 

I don't answer her, I never do, I can't answer her. I can barely look at her in her eyes.

 

She grabs my arm and drags me to her room, I hate that room. And I hate my art that she hung in that room. And I hate how much she likes my art. 

 

She lays me flat on her bed, a few months ago I would've fought with her. Then she would've threatened to call the police on me. It always ended with myself getting handcuffed to the bed. 

 

So instead of fighting back I look at the ceiling, the walls, try to picture my life once I get out of here.  Or the ticking of my watch. Remind myself I have a family who could be in my situation.

 

My future is bleak, I can't see anything past the walls I look at so much, or the celling with a fan, or the little red flashing light in every room. 

 

I know she watches me, I've seen the cameras, I don't know when she got them, or how many there are. But I've seen quite a few.

 

We're fully stripped of our clothes, instead of seeing a woman's body I see a big puddle of ink. It's suffocating everywhere she touches me. It's dirty. I can almost see the ink mark where she touches me, branding me. I hate it, I need to get her off me, and clean that area. Now.

 

That's all I want in my life, I don't dream of being a famous artist anymore. No, all I want to do is to get out. I don't care where I end up, alive or dead. Anywhere but here. 

 

It was around 30 ish minutes or 3 hours when she let me go. I don't waste time picking up my clothes, and running out. 

 

As I walk towards the door she says "One day, you'll thank me." I hate that phrase, I hate that I can't talk back, more than anything I hate her.

 

I don't give her a response, I just exit the door.

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When I get to the bathroom I turn the shower to the highest temperature, I let it heat up as I got to grab my stuff to take a shower. I did it too fast so now I have to wait. I like getting in when it's already boiling. The feeling of my skin nearly melting off is such a relief. It also helps with the stain she keeps leaving on me.   

 

As I wait I look around the bathroom, maybe I'll find another camera. I almost never do find any cameras. She either doesn't have many, or she hides them well. 

 

I keep looking at every corner, but never the mirror. I can't stand to see the pathetical excuse of a man I've become. I can't stand the person who got their parents killed because of their greed, and I can't stand the person not strong enough to stand up for himself. 

 

I'll never be able to. How can I keep thinking about my future when I can't even look at myself. 

 

When the steam starts coming out of the shower is when I go inside the shower. I hope it'll melt this body, I want it to make me forget what happened. 

.

 

.

 

.

I just finished my shower, I'm still putting on my clothes when I look for Glyn's number to call. I click the calling button. I don't have the energy to figure out what time it is in the UK. 

 

It rings for several times before that machine starts to play.

 

She's probably asleep right now. 

 

Or she could be ignoring me. 

 

I don't have any control in my life anymore.

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The next day, after a restless night I did not see Mr. Sokolov the next day at the institution, but I did meet Ms. Sokolov.

 

Who is his younger sister apparently, and she only speaks sign language.

 

I'm going to pick up one more class so I can talk to her. It's the nice thing to do.

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It's been a week since I met Nikolai and his sister Mia. 

 

And it’s been a week since I signed up for sign-language classes at 8pm. 

 

It’s getting a little difficult to balance all my classes and extra activities. 

 

It’s either that or going to Grace’s apartment. 

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

…I have the basics of it down, I’ll approach her today, during our art class we have together.

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After the teacher, Mrs. Johnson, finished giving instructions for the assignment, it’s a rather easy assignment. All about perspective.

 

I take a minute to try to remember how to sign simple phrases. When I realized I most likely either look creepy or like an idiot just staring at my blank piece of paper is when I turn to my side.

 

“Hi” I signed. It takes her a minute to recognize the sloppy sign I just made but when she does, she signs back.

 

“You know sign language?” I take a moment to translate the movement before responding.

 

“I’m learning, but I know some.” I try my best to make my movements clear. 

 

Her face breaks out into a wide smile, before she starts, fast, signing conversations topics.

 

It takes me some time to understand and some signs I don’t understand at all, but I manage to keep the conversation moving.

 

And yes we did finish our work, although we did finish it late and a bit messy.

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It’s been a day since I became friends with Mia. She seems very nice and apparently has a twin sister. I still haven’t told her about my brother… It's a bit complicated.

Today, Nikolai was looking at me like I had insulted him. I don’t know why, I also didn’t ask why he was looking at me like that.

The day finished with him leaving the class before I could say goodbye, truly no manners.

 

Right now, I’m going to the student council meeting. It’s barely tolerable to be in there, since nobody has a thought on what they’re doing.

 

I mean seriously what type o—

 

My train of thoughts were interrupted when I got shoved into a locker.

 

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

 

The frantic ticking sound of my watch is the thing I can hear, before someone grabs me by my collar.

 

“What the hell do you want with my little sister?” Nikolai almost shouts into my face.

 

I thought my intentions were pretty clear from the beginning. “To be friends?” 

 

That answer only seems to enrage him more than before.

 

“Don’t give me that bullshit!” He pulled his arm back and swung straight into my nose.

 

I heard a crack before the blood started pouring out of my nose.

.

 

.

 

.

 

A sense of relief came over my body when I saw my blood start staining my shirt.

 

I don’t feel the black ink on my body anymore.

 

Even though it’s incredibly hard to breathe through my nose, I don’t think it’s ever been easier to stand myself than right now.

 

Nikolai shoves me further into the wall. “Stay away from my sister, or I’ll make this look like mercy.”

 

With that he turns around and walks away.

 

Leaving me with conflicting emotions, anger, that he would accuse me of being a bad person, saddened that he’ll tell his sister to stay away from me, guilt for causing Mia problems. And so much relief, I don’t know why seeing my blood gave me so much relief.

Notes:

Hey guys I did original upload this chapter but I took it down since I wanted to add more to it. Also please tell me what you think of my work and i’ll try to respond to everyone!!

Notes:

Hey this fic will not be on a plan time for updates, since I'm currently writing another one. But I really wanted to upload this one and get feedback from it.

Also if anyone can help with the title, I'll be so greatful.