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Chapter Text

Present Day

What Jimin wanted to do right now was to go to the baggage claim, retrieve his suitcase, and walk (very quickly) to the ticket office to buy a ticket to go straight back home. The last thing he wanted to do instead was take his bag, check his phone for connection and scroll through his texts, looking for the one his brother sent him. 

Jimin would rather eat soil than proceed with the following several days. Seven days. Only seven days that he knows will feel like a whole lifetime. It already feels like too long. 

Jimin follows his brother’s directions to exit the airport and look for the taxi driver who is waiting for him with a “PARK JIMIN” sign. He’s welcomed with a kind smile, and the woman offers to take his bag, but Jimin shakes his head. It’s not heavy, Jimin packed lightly to deal with the scorching, humid, hot temperature of Italian weather. In Summer. 

One would ask why Jimin was in Italy, in Sicily to be more precise, and Jimin would sigh at the question. 

Unfortunately, the aforementioned brother of his, fell desperately and irreparably in love and decided it was a good idea to get married. And he had the audacity to invite him, his own brother, to his ceremony. How fucking dare he, right?

Well, Jimin actually wouldn’t have any problem at all if it was just that, a simple wedding with only family attending. But no, of course it’s not like that. Of course, Jimin’s parents aren’t in the picture and Jimin grew up under the care of his soon-to-be married brother. 

And of course, his brother had to have an amazing support system by his side. How great it is that you fell in love with his support system? A voice in his head says, his conscience never fails to remind him of Jimin’s choice. 

So Jimin sighs as the driver starts to pull through the road, and he soon forgets about his inner turmoil the moment his eyes burn under the heavy brightness of the sun kissing the deep blue sea. 

For a moment, Jimin forgets what he’ll have to deal with. He can go through seven days of close contact with him if it means doing it on the most beautiful beach of all time. He can’t believe his brother is having a destination wedding, but right now, Jimin couldn’t be happier. 

He loves the beach, he loves the sea. His eyes try to take in as much as possible, and he forgets all about his problem: Min Yoongi. 

His brother's adult work partner. 

His brother’s thirty-seven-year-old best friend. 

His brother’s best man, who happens to be fourteen years older than Jimin. 

He just has to set the tone. Go through the first conversation. If he gets it, then Jimin is safe. He won’t break, he won’t weaken. He won’t let his heart skip beat for him. 

After all, it’s only been a year since they last talked to each other. Jimin shouldn’t think about him anymore. He’s twenty-three years old, for fuck’s sake, he has game. He can look for love somewhere else, except— the idea makes Jimin's stomach churn, it just doesn’t feel right. 

It wasn’t like this before. 

Because Jimin knows himself, he could have gotten over any boy with a snap of his fingers. Now… he can’t get over it, period. God, he tried so many times. Yet, he’s here, and the more the taxi’s GPS gets closer to the villa his brother rented for the wedding party, the more Jimin feels nauseous. 

Thankfully, they won’t be alone. Other people will be there, and there’s one that Jimin awaits to see more than others. And no, it’s not Yoongi. 

No, it’s not even his very beloved brother. 

Jimin has been studying abroad for the past year, refusing to share the same sky with Yoongi after he decided to remove Jimin from his life without an explanation. Well, not just because of that, but because Jimin is graduating soon, top of his class, and he’s a top-tier student in his Chemistry department. When asked to spend a year at ETH in Zurich, Switzerland, he couldn’t just say no. 

Well, actually– Jimin was about to. If only–

Let’s pretend it fell at the right time, the offer and its opening up paths that Jimin hadn’t considered before: PhD-ing or industry. He’s almost done, and he just has to make a decision. But it’s hard. He thinks he knows what he wants but he’s not sure people will be proud of him. 

“Here’s the big brain of the family,” says his brother, Jihyun, as he closes his arms around Jimin when he steps out of the car. 

“Says the almost Millionaire–” 

“Ouch,” Jihyun fakes pain in his chest. That makes Jimin smile; he missed his goofy brother so much. “Are you okay? Was everything okay?” he asks, assessing Jimin with a worried frown. 

Jimin nods, waving his worries away. “Yes, did you forget I’m living alone? Abroad? I know how to catch a  flight, right?” Jimin points out, and he can see his brother rolling his eyes impossibly wide. 

“Maybe I just miss worrying over you?”  Jihyun says, and Jimin’s smile falters a bit. He did make his brother worry quite a lot when he was younger. Being a teenager with two dead parents wasn’t exactly easy. And Jimin was too focused on himself and too young to think about what his brother was going through, having to take care of him as a newly orphaned made into a parent-brother. 

Jimin was reckless, but he found comfort in Chemistry and delved into becoming an academic prodigy. And that also made Jihyun extremely proud of him. Jimin wanted to keep it like that. 

“Oh my god, oh my– you’re finally here!” and that’s the voice Jimin wanted to hear and the arms he wanted wrapped around him tight. “Save me, Jimin, they are so boring always talking about work, and numbers, and arguing over the phone,” Taehyung says as he lets go of Jimin to take a proper look at him. 

Taehyung's smile is a mischievous one, and Jimin lets him make a twirl of himself. “You look amazing, Switzerland air did you good–” 

“So are you saying I wasn’t as good before?” 

“You and I are too smart to think I would ever imply that,” Taehyung says, and Jimin missed his best friend ever so much. They grew up together and Taehyung has seen the worst and best of Jimin. He never left his side and he knows everything about him– well, not everything. Not everyone. 

He just couldn’t bring himself to tell anyone about what happened.

Did something happen? Sometimes Jimin is not so sure himself. 

“So, everyone has been boring you?” Jimin says, sharing a look at his brother who’s been watching over them fondly. Taehyung is family by now and Jihyun knows that. “How dare they not entertain you?” 

Taehyung rolls his eyes but there’s a fond smile on his face, the one Jimin is so used to, reserved for him and for Jeongguk, Taehyung’s boyfriend. Which, speaking of the devil– 

He appears through the gate of the villa and Jimin's breath gets taken away. No, not because of Jeongguk but because of the man walking right behind him. Jimin tries to hold his gaze but it’s hard and he starts moving, retrieving his bag from where the taxi driver left it. “He’s the most at fault, I brought him with me and he spends his time working with Yoongi-hyung,” Taehyung laments as soon as his boyfriend is close to earshot. 

Jeongguk’s smile is wide, not faltering a single bit after Taehyung’s words. “You’re the one who suggested I intern at their company.”

“So now, it’s my fault?” 

Jimin chuckles, “You should so know better,” he jokes as he hugs Jeongguk tight. He has missed him too. He and Taehyung have been together for five years now and it still amazes Jimin how easily Jeongguk managed to catch Taehyung’s heart. 

Which seemed to be impossible. Taehyung was not one for settling easily, he would get bored and one-night stands seemed to be it for him until– Jeongguk. Jeongguk swept the rug under his feet and made Taehyung fall in love, he made him believe in relationships and shared intimacy. In belonging.

Taehyung didn’t change much, but Jimin can see how much happier he is. And he feels a pang of genuine, the good kind, envy when studying those two when they think no one is looking. There’s just so much love between them, understanding, and complicity. 

Jimin wouldn’t be surprised if the next wedding he’ll have to attend is theirs. Unfortunately, Yoongi would be there, too. 

“It’s actually Yoongi-hyung’s fault. Y’all are on vacation, can you drop the phone?” Taehyung makes them notice, but he knows, just like Jimin, that it won’t happen. If Jimin is not mistaken, they are in the middle of a big acquisition, something that has to do with start-up and their money that Jimin can’t and won’t try to understand. They are investors, and– yeah, that’s the more information Jimin’s brain can create on the matter. 

Academic prodigy, but only for the periodic table. “It’s been impossible to have a full conversation with this one. If the phone rings, he answers,” Taehyung points accusingly, and Yoongi does nothing to defend himself, he knows that with Taehyung there’s no way he’s gonna win. 

Still, Yoongi just grins at him. Like he’s used to it, like he’s not going to change. 

Jimin hates how weak that smile makes him feel. 

What Chemistry is to Jimin, Law and a spiteful tongue are to Taehyung. Not for nothing, he managed to get the best internship possible, in the most prestigious law firm in Seoul. 

“Sorry if some of us adults have work to do,” Yoongi says, and it’s the casual tone in which he says it that has Jimin almost wincing back. Yoongi never fails to make them notice how much more adult he is compared to Jimin. 

What Yoongi fails to understand is that Jimin is an adult, too. One who has a full-paid job and two big offers laid on the table. Still— 

Taehyung ignores him, and instead asks him, “You’ve been attached to my boyfriend all day long, can I have him for a while? Why don’t you behave and do something truly useful, like show Jimin to his room?” Taehyung says, in the most aggressive yet innocent way. 

Jimin is used to this, in the way Taehyung is straightforward. And Yoongi has his fun too with it, everyone does. 

But Taehyung— he doesn’t know what he just proposed is exactly what Jimin was trying to avoid. 

“It’s okay, I think I can find an empty room on my own–” Jimin says as his eyes set on Yoongi. He’s inscrutable, but still, his beauty strikes Jimin. His hard eyes, the small twitch of his jaw that Jimin can read immediately. 

For once, he’s not dressed in his usual attire, which would be a suit and tie. Right now he sports a casual outfit, linen shorts, and an easy, expensive, white linen shirt. He looks so good, too good. 

“Oh, that’s actually brilliant. I need to check on Harin, very quickly–” Jihyun says, “It’s free time until dinner,” he says then to Jimin, just to make sure that he’s up to schedule. “I’m so happy you’re here–” his brother says again, “Harin, too, can’t wait to hug you,” he says and Jimin feels a surge of love for the people who took care of him when he didn’t have anyone anymore. 

“Me too,” Jimin says. He wishes he could ignore Yoongi’s presence close by, but it’s impossible for him. 

His brother disappeared then and Jimin crosses his arms, as he takes Yoongi in. The man doesn’t move; instead, his eyes scan Jimin's silhouette from head to toe. 

“Hey, Jimin–” 

Jimin– Okay, so that sets the tone. That’s how we’re addressing each other.

Okay. 

“Hi, Yoongi,” Jimin says as he moves closer to his luggage, ignoring the thumping of his heart. “Don’t worry about this, I can look for a room myself,” he says, not wanting to inconvenience the man yet and already. But Yoongi shakes his hand, and Jimin’s bag falls already in his hands. 

“Not a problem for me. Come, I’ll show you the way,” he says, and Jimin feels his hand clumpy. He knows he can’t blame the humid temperature of Sicilian summer, it’s all his own stupid body doing.

“There’s no need to, I think I’ll just drop things off and go explore,” Jimin says as he takes in the marvel of the Villa. It sits close to the beach, and Jimin has already spotted a path that could lead him straight to it. He can’t wait to see the blue sea up close, the scent of it already reaching his nose. 

“You just came from the airport, relax–” Yoongi tells him, his brow brought together by worry. “You must be tired,” he says, “And no one is doing anything much today,” Yoongi continues, and Jimin nods. He could use some time to rest; he has seven days, after all, to ignore Yoongi as much as possible around the streets of Agrigento. 

He could lie low today. Maybe drop by the pool for the afternoon. 

The house is incredible, spacious, and decorated in the way Jimin thought it would– just like out of an excellent Italian movie. There’s a strange silence around the spacious house, and all Jimin can hear is the sound of cicadas from outside. 

“Where’s everybody?” 

“Napping,” Yoongi says, without adding much, and Jimin feels the need to fill up the silence between them. 

“How come?” 

“Lunch was heavy, Rebecca prepared so much pasta as if the whole wedding party was here,” Yoongi explains and Jimin hums. 

“Not to fall into the Italian stereotype, but sounds like an Italian meal,” Jimin says as he takes in the amazing architecture of the house. Yoongi chuckles and Jimin feels like he just won the Nobel Prize. “But entertain me, who’s Rebecca?” 

“She’s the manager of the place, takes care of everything and makes sure it runs smoothly.” 

Jimin nods, even if Yoongi can’t see him since he’s a few steps ahead. They passed the first floor of the room and Jimin, somehow, knows that Yoongi is guiding toward the last floor. 

When they get inside what is supposed to be Jimin’s room, a chuckle leaves his mouth. 

“What’s so funny?” 

“Let me guess, your room is the farthest from this one?” Jimin points out as he gestures to his assigned room. 

“Yes,” Yoongi says, his jaw suddenly locking and his eyes turning into slit.

“You’re unbelievable,” Jimin snorts, and he moves to take his bag from Yoongi’s hand, their fingers touching. Jimin has to swallow a deep breath. “The extent you go to make yourself believe nothing is going on—“ 

“Because nothing is going on,” Yoongi says, matter-of-factly, and it’s the rapidness with which he answers Jimin that almost makes him laugh. Jimin turns around to lock eyes with Yoongi, who’s still in the room, with the door closed behind his back. 

“Do you believe that?” Jimin takes a few steps ahead, Yoongi’s Adam's apple bobbing up and down. 

“Yes.” 

Jimin hums, “Then it shouldn’t have been a problem taking the room closest to you.” 

“It’s already taken,” Yoongi says, “by Haeun, you know she’s Harin’s best friends–” 

“Yeah,” Jimin says, then adds, “How convenient.” He takes another step closer and he can see the small but present freckles on Yoongi’s nose, the sun outside must be already doing its job. 

Yoongi's hands twitch by his side, but he doesn’t reach out to Jimin. 

“Jimin, there’s nothing. You need to understand that.” 

“Yeah, you made sure of that with a twelve-month lasting silence—“ Jimin starts but Yoongi interrupts him by giving him his back and opening the door, ready to leave. 

“Rest,” it’s all he says, and Jimin, this time, can’t stop the laugh from bubbling out of his throat. 

“You know you can’t pretend forever, do you?” that stops Yoongi in his tracks, makes him close the door and walk so close to Jimin that their noses do touch this time. What Jimin would pay to be able to lace his hand behind his back, right now. 

“And this is why I stopped talking to you, you’re such a petulant child—“ Yoongi says, his voice barely a whisper, but it resonates through Jimin’s body like an earthquake of magnitude eight on the Richter scale. 

And that, Jimin, should be used to it. “Leave,” he says, taking a step back. He looks Yoongi in the eyes as he does so. And Yoongi, at least, seems taken aback by it, maybe by what he said. 

“Jimin, I—“ he tries but stops when Jimin speaks over him

“Leave,” he says again, because he won’t let him belittle him the first day he’s here. He won’t let Yoongi do that to him when that's the main problem in their– whatever it is that they have. “Isn’t it what you wanted? Leave.”

Yoongi doesn’t move, not immediately, and Jimin can see that he wants to say something, that he wants to do something. His muscles twitch, but after a beat, he turns around, opens the door, and does as Jimin asked. 

Maybe Yoongi shouldn’t have, because his leaving has Jimin harboring rage. After all, it’s always like that. When having to deal with the truth, Yoongi leaves and he never fails to do it. 

And Jimin, instead, stays rooted where he is, miss Taylor Swift would tell him to get the fuck out of the restaurant but Jimin just can’t. His heart won’t allow it, and honestly, deep down, he knows that Taylor would understand. 

So to try and deal with the anger and frustration Jimin feels, he decides to swim it out. And when Taehyung joins him, Jimin thinks he might be feeling better, except– “If you’re thinking about murdering someone, you gotta hold on until I finish my internship, my beloved—“ Taehyung says as he drops his towel on the sunbed close to Jimin. 

“What?”

Taehyung gestures towards Jimin’s face, “Murderous look– which suits you incredibly, but what’s going on?” 

“Nothing, just tired—“Jimin say and he hopes that Taehyung will buy it but of course–

“No, you’re not,” Taehyung says, but he doesn’t push further. “I know how you are when you’re tired, and that’s not it,” he says but he doesn’t press further, which Jimin is thankful for. They lie side by side, just enjoying the afternoon, talking about everything that they missed out on during the time Jimin was away. 

He and Taehyung have always been close, they were neighbor back home and spent all school years glued to each other. Sharing an apartment during college time was also something that Jimin will always be grateful for. 

They had had a schedule, the best oiled machine, for bringing guys over. No one would ever be in each other’s plan and they were more than supportive of their lifestyle. It was perfect, it was just perfect. Even when Jeongguk came along, too. 

Jimin was never in their business, except when they decided to have an easy night all together. 

And it was going strong for Jimin, one year he thought he had even found his love, just like Taehyung did with Jeongguk. Little did he know– 

But yeah, living with him was a life saving experience. Just a few years before Jimin lost his parents and there was no way he could have made it out of wherever he was, without Taehyung by his side. 

It shouldn’t surprise Jimin that his best friends know him better than he does. 

And that– it’s Jimin’s first mistake. Forgetting how damn good Taehyung is at reading him, and at doing his job. 

“I texted Jeongguk to come join us, and do you know what he answered me?” 

“Let me guess, that he’s busy with Yoongi?” 

“No, he didn’t answer.” 

Jimin removed his sunglasses from his nose, “When did you text him?” 

“Now,” Taehyung says and that makes Jimin chuckle. 

“Give him at least five minutes, he’s probably getting humiliated by Yoongi–”

“Ah, there it is—“ Taehyung says, slowly turning his face toward Jimin. 

“What?” 

“The look,” Taehyung gestures toward Jimin’s face again. “The criminal tendency of committing a homicide is back on your face–” he continues, “Thank god I’m specializing in that,” he says and Jimin shakes his head, in amusement and disbelief at the same time. 

“What did you understand just by looking at my face?” 

But Taehyung doesn’t answer him directly, he just continues talking, “By process of elimination I thought it might be him that got on your nerves, since it’s the last one you talked to but I can’t see what you can be mad about. Yoongi is by nature antagonistic and hard to be around. We all know he doesn’t like people but—“ Taehyung stops, when he looks over at Jimin again. “Are you following?” 

“Should I?” 

“Oh my god, why are you mad at Yoongi-hyung? I know why I am, but why are you?” Taehyung says as he moves to take his sunscreen from his bag.  “Are you two fucking?” he asks casually and Jimin… he panic and–

“God, I fucking hate you for having such a high IQ.”

“Wait, you are!?” Taehyung let the sunscreen fall from his hand, fixing his gaze on Jimin. And shit. 

Shit, for having such a high QI yourself you’re pretty damn dumb. Park Jimin.

“You guessed?” Jimin says as he declares defeat inside of him, there’s no way he will be able to get out of this alone. 

“Well, sometimes it’s talent, sometimes it’s gambling my dear.”

“Then I correct myself, I just hate you,” Taehyung kisses his cheeks, as they get up from their sunbeds. They enter the pool, and Jimin knows he has no escape. “But no, we’re not. I wish we were though,” Jimin says and Taehyung doesn’t even need to add anything, his eyes speak for him. 

And it feels good to finally say it to him. It was just something Jimin wanted to gatekeep, to protect but maybe he should start moving on. Maybe if he talks about it with someone, with someone as close to him as Taehyung, then who knows, Jimin might even heal from this disease that is loving Min Yoongi. 

“And you know me,” 

“That I do.” 

“It never stuck, I’ve never been in a relationship longer than two years because I just didn’t care that much. It never felt what it should have, not even with Jiseok–” 

“Love is lie, baby–” 

Jimin looks at Taehyung and then throws some water at him, “Don’t gaslight me, he already does it enough. Sometimes it makes me wonder if it was all in my head—“ Jimin says but he drifts off, “But anyway, we used to think that, you can’t say it after being with Jeongguk. And I can’t say that after I’m still trying to get over something I’ve never even had,” Jimin says and he would love to let himself go and drown, maybe he would stop feeling as terrible as he does. 

“I tried,” Taehyung says, an apologetic look on his face. “What is the problem? He doesn’t love you back?” 

Jimin shakes his head, “I don’t know if he feels anything at all for me, but when we talked– argued about it he just focused on our age gap,” Jimin explains. 

“So, it’s not Jihyun part of the problem?” 

“I think that’s implicit, for him. I don’t see why my brother should have any business in whom I’m bedding,” Jimin continues but he just doesn’t know. He wet his head and pushed his hair back from his forehead, “Seriously, though, I need to get over this week and I won’t see him again, that's all I have to do.” 

“You’re in deep shit and you’re fooling yourself.” 

“Wow, you’re so useful. I think I have solved all my problems now,” Jimin deadpans and Taehyung retaliates, splashing water his way. 

He just feels helpless, and demoralized. It feels like a battle Jimin is fighting alone. He can’t seem to get over this constant feeling, this pull toward the man. 

Jimin used to switch men out every night, but since he started talking and knowing Yoongi… that’s changed. 

Knowing there’s no one else who make him feel like Yoongi does has fucked love and romance forever for Jimin. And the catastrophic part of it is that Jimin felt a ridiculous percentage of what they could actually be, if Yoongi wasn’t so obtuse. 

“Oh, speaking to the Devil,” Taehyung says when Yoongi and Jeongguk leave the house. They are wearing their swimming truck as well and Jimin knows that he’ll have to brace himself. 

“Oh, love, you were talking about me?” Jeongguk says, smile wide and long hair up in a messy bun. 

Taehyung tsk, “Of course not, we were saying how boring Yoongi-hyung is,” he continues and Jimin can spot the smallest movement upward of Yoongi’s mouth. 

“You know, if I didn’t know how much you two love each other, I’d say Tae was in love with me—“ Yoongi says as he pats Jeongguk’s back. 

“I don’t date fossils, but if you’re up to it I can hook you up with someone I know—“ Taehyung says as he slowly leaves the pool, winking at Jimin. 

And Jimin is — 

A laugh bubbles out of him, loud and clear. Yoongi’s eyes snap in his direction and Jimin should feel ashamed or even guilty, but all he feels is the same rage from before, his gut churning to scream at Yoongi. 

His somber eyes are on him, trying to figure out what was the topic of their conversation but Jimin ignores him. It’s nice to keep Yoongi on his toes for once. 

Yoongi doesn’t join him inside the pool, but Jimin doesn’t mind. Instead, the man takes Jimin’s sunbed and plops down on it.

Jimin swims toward the edge of the pool, elbows out to rest on the surface. “Is it senile dementia? Is it already kicking in?”

“What?” Yoongi looks at him, his eyes knowing all too well what Jimin is doing. He makes himself comfortable on Jimin’s towel and takes a book about Jimin's bag. 

“It must be, it’s hard to miss that’s taken—“ 

“Yeah, for me. You didn’t have to, but I appreciate the gesture, Brat,” Yoongi says and— fuck, Jimin hates him. That nickname. It sets a different tone in their relationship now. 

The small smile falling from his lips, a glint of shine in Yoongi’s eyes and Jimin forgets everything. Because this is them, this is what they have built in the last years. “Even a book, you’re so thoughtful—“ 

And Jimin grins, “You should read that, might learn a lot from it—“ 

“Is it a self-help book? You’re finally taking that step?” Yoongi jokes, knowing he can, they already talked about it, because Jimin is in therapy since his parents died and he lashed out at a poor Jihyun who was just trying to do his best with him. 

“Kind of— Start it and let me know what you think,” Jimin says, and he waits as Yoongi turns the book and reads the plot on the back. 

He can see his cheeks getting pinker, and not because of the sun. 

Jimin swims away when Yoongi’s eyes lock with him after he turns the book again, resting it on his legs. It’s a romance, enemies to lovers with longing and slow burn. 

But most importantly, it’s an age gap. 

Jimin's laughter resonates throughout the open air, as Yoongi opens the book and starts reading the first page. 

Jimin spends more time in the pool, he likes to swim and opts for the chance to freestyle a bit, at least until the pool is free and he’s the only one inside. Taehyung and Jeongguk are huddled together one on a sunbed, and Jimin loves that for him, especially when Jeongguk’s leave a peck on Taehyung’s temple. Caring. Tender and intimate. 

Then Harin and a girl Jimin has never seen before join them poolside and Jimin rushes outside to hug her close. She doesn’t squirm away even if Jimin is all wet and is probably drenching her. “Oh my god, I’ve missed you so much,” Harin says, her long black hair high up in a ponytail. 

She came along several years ago and she was everything Jihyun ever needed in a partner. Jimin wasn't sure he liked her at first or that he was liked by her, and he was afraid that someone could break the relationship he had with his brother but Harin was such a good addiction to the family, that now Jimin can’t think of it without her. 

She’s genuine, caring and she makes Jihyun so freaking happy. “Me too, how are you?” Jimin asks her and she smiles big at him, sweet. 

“Excited?” she asks and Jimin laughs.

“Are you asking me?” 

“She’s scared shitless, but can’t wait to just say yes,” The girl that Jimin has no idea who she is says and she must read it on his face. “Sorry, I’m Haeun. Harin’s best friend–” she finishes and Jimin nods vehemently. 

“Of course, you are. I heard so much about you, I just didn’t have a face to the name,” he says because it’s true, he heard the name so many times fall from Harin’s lips but in the last several years he never had the pleasure to meet her. 

She’s gorgeous, with cherry long dark hair. Her eyes are fiery but Jimin can read kindness in them the moment they land on her best friend. “Likewise, It’s good to finally meet the Park Jimin everyone talks about,” she says and Jimin waves his hand. 

“Don’t believe a word they say,” he jokes and that makes her laugh. 

“Oh, Jihyun and Yoongi-oppa speak so much about you, you don’t have to worry,” 

“Because they do, I have to worry,” he says and that causes another fit of laughter, and it buys him time as he tries to stop the butterflies in his stomach from hearing that Yoongi talks about him. But it soon dissipates because it’s probably to point out how much of a child Jimin is. 

They enter the pool then and Jimin sits on the edge of it, his skin similar to raisins. Taehyung joins him and the four of them chat and get to know each other and it doesn’t take long for Jimin to understand that Haeun is to Harin what Taehyung is to Jimin. Yoongi, and the other friends of the group are to Jihyun. 

His ride or die. His lifeline. Gravity to the Earth. 

It’s nice to just be outside and chat. It’s even nicer when Rebecca brings them all an Aperol Spritz and some appetizer. “L’aperitivo,” she says to them in Italian and Jimin thinks he got that one, “Se desiderate altro, non esitate…” she says and that Jimin didn’t understand. 

And it seems no one around him has. 

But then Jimin feels a hand settle on the end of his back, warm, almost burning him. “It’s aperitivo, she said if you need anything else to not hesitate calling her,” Yoongi says as he hands Jimin his glass of Spritz, a liquid orange promise land. 

He joins them and he sits close to Jimin, not as close as Jimin would like but he can still feel Yoongi’s fingertips on his skin and that is enough. 

Everyone around him has a glass in his hand except for Haeun, “Do you need me to fetch Rebecca? I can go ask her–” 

“In what Italian?” Yoongi points out and Jimin’s eyes narrow. 

“I think I can manage with other devices. I don’t know if you’re aware but nowadays we have something called Google–” Jimin says as he takes a sip of alcohols, “I know you didn’t have that during old age but–” 

Jimin stops when he hears laughter coming from his right, “Harin told me you were amazing, but I’d never thought this much–” Haeun says and Jimin just winks at them. “You’re too kind but thank you, no need to call Rebecca.” 

“Are you sure? Is no problem, since we’ve assessed I could hold a conversation with her–” 

“Haeun doesn’t like Spritz–” Yoongi says then and Jimin wonder how does he know that– 

“God, I don’t know how you can drink that. I tried it yesterday and I almost felt sick,” she says and Jimin gasps. “You can drink mine if you want,” she says pointing to the full glass waiting. Some of them arrived here a few days ago and Jimin tried to buy himself as much time as possible, he couldn’t do more days here with Yoongi. 

“I already love you.” 

“They betray you so quickly,” Taehyung says as he hands Jimin what is supposed to be Haeun’s glass. 

Jimin shoots him a grin, and closes the case because Taehyung smiles back at him. 

They spend the afternoon there, talking and chatting and when Jimin sips from his second glass, after everyone had dispersed in their room, or around the villa, Yoongi whispers in his ears, “Easy there, Spritz gets you when you least expect it.” 

A shiver runs down Jimin’s spine, but he turns around locking eyes with Yoongi and sucking harder the alcohol from the straw that Rebecca carefully placed in the glass. “You know I handle it just fine,” he says and Jimin remembers just how fine he handles it. 

He wonders if Yoongi remembers it, too. 

“I need you to behave,” Yoongi says to him, as Jimin rests his hand on Yoongi’s tight, for leverage. He can feel Yoongi’s muscles tighten, but he doesn’t remove Jimin’s hand. 

“I need you to stop telling me what to do, and treating me like the adult you know I am,” Jimin says as he slowly pulls away from Yoongi. He gets up and he doesn’t wait for Yoongi to say something else. He goes back to his sunbed, feeling Yoongi’s eyes on him. 

When Jimin starts retrieving all his things he notices a bookmark. Jimin usually keeps tags of his reading with dog ears, and so– “It’s nice for it to be a fantasy, you know it’s not my genre,” Yoongi says, walking closer to where Jimin is. Jimin looks up, and he just can’t believe his words. 

“I should have known,” Jimin says, bagging the book. 

Yoongi looks confused. 

“That you’d hated happy things, things you could have–” 

“But I can’t have it.” 

Jimin crosses his arms over his chest, “You could,” Jimin says but he doesn’t add anything else because Yoongi’s jaw clenches. He’s still wearing what Jimin saw him when he got here. “I’ll go wash up before dinner,” Jimin says and he leaves before he does something stupid as trying to make Yoongi understand that he can have Jimin. All of him. 

That he had him since day one. 

But Jimin knows better, and he already has gotten his fair share of reminders that to Yoongi, he is nothing more than a child. 

So he leaves, and prepares for dinner. Thankfully when he gets to the table, a long table set for ten people Jimin doesn’t have to go through the embarrassing passage of choosing a seat because Seokjin waves his hand the moment he spots Jimin. “I saved you a seat,” he says and Jimin breaks into the largest smile. He walks up to him, where Jihyun’s long time friends are all set. There’s Hoseok, Namjoon and Seokjin who engulf Jimin in the longest hug ever. 

They are Jihyun’s best friends, with Yoongi as well, they met all in college and are now colleagues and founders of the company they work for. The sense of belonging that oozes from them has always made Jimin nauseous, but now– “Tell me you brought it,” he says to Seokjin and Namjoon in particular, who happen to be a couple. The longest couple Jimin has had the pleasure of knowing. 

They have been together since Jimin can remember. 

“It– we make him an uncle and he calls it it–” Seokjin says but Jimin rolls his eyes.

“Your beloved princess is getting fussed over by Yoongi-hyung over there–” Namjoon says to him, pointing toward a spot not so far away. 

Jimin takes in the view, Yoongi and Yujin, the cutest three years old girl that ever graced this planet, under a string of fairy lights that connect to where the table is. Their surroundings are out of a dream, and Jimin feels his breath stack. 

Yoongi changed into a black attire, his hair curling down at his neck, long. “You know that I love you, but do you also know that my love grew even more when you adopted her?” Jimin says to them and he has them laughing. It’s sweet. 

“Yeah, as you never fail to remind us,” Seokjin points out. 

“Good, If I ever stop saying it, kill me,” Jimin says as he crouches down when Yujin notices him and starts running toward him with her little legs. “Oh my god, look at you all grown up!” Jimin says as he picks her up. “I missed you so much, I’ll never leave again I swear,” he says when she smacks a very unhygienic and sloppy kiss on his cheek. 

“I see, I stopped being her favorite. How long did it last this time? Five minutes?” 

“At least you got five minutes. We’re her parents and we’re not so sure we were ever her favorite,” Namjoon says and that has Jimin laughing, loud. He almost loses his balance with Yujin in his arms, but soon an arm rests around his waist. 

“Careful,” it’s said in a sweet tone, hushed and private. 

“I got it, thank you,” Jimin says but he doesn’t move from where he is. It’s Yoongi who, after meeting Jimin’s eyes, steps away. 

He brings Yujin sitting with him at the table, and he plays with her throughout the dinner. 

Rebecca brings out from the kitchen pasta con le vongole which is pasta with clams and Jimin has to slow down his eating because — “Oh my god, I could make love to this pasta. No. I’m sure I want to do it,” Jimin says and Harin nods. 

“I could leave you at the altar for this,” she says to Jihyun, and that has the table laughing. 

Jimin is seated close to Seokjin and Hoseok, Taehyung and Jeongguk sitting before him. They are catching up with each other’s life and Taehyung introduces Jeongguk to them. 

They are all familiar with Taehyung but not so much with his life. 

They have been around their house for as long as Jimin can remember and Seokjin especially have been very important to Jimin’s life when his parents dies. Seokjin was always there and would check on him every now and then, stopping by their house to leave food and just to be present. 

Jimin would see Hoseok and Namjoon quite often too, with Jihyun they were inseparable and after the car accident that took away their parents, they came to be a constant presence in Jimin’s house. Yoongi, too. 

Jimin never really let anyone in his pain, though, except maybe Seokjin. He remembers crushing out and having hard times, but he would spend those moments at Taehyung’s, the only one allowed to see Jimin in his broken state. 

Jimin listens and enjoys the time. “We need to find a nice club to go to,” Hoseok says by his side, “It’s be nice to find a hot Italian someone to sleep with—“ 

Since Jimin can remember Hoseok has never really had someone by his side, he never really questioned it, or honestly Jimin probably never paid much attention to his brother's best friends’ life. 

He barely noticed Yoongi when he was a teenager. 

“Don’t tell me,” Jimin says, “If you find anything ring me up—“ he adds and Hoseok snicker by his side. 

“I’m sure it won’t be hard, neither will be having a night of hot passion,” Hoseok jokes, “So I gather there’s no one making you feel all hot and funny?” 

Jimin shakes his head, as he turns his gaze toward the other end of the table. Yoongi is looking his way, he doesn’t look too happy. “There could be, but I think I have to get it off my mind with insane Italian sex,” Jimin continues and Hoseok laughs out loud. 

“You’re tainting the ear of my adored child,” Seokjin calls him out and Jimin grins at him. Then he sombers, speaking quietly to Jimin only. “If it’s too much, hand her over. I’m happy already with eating a plate of pasta without having it fly everywhere,” he says. 

Jimin shakes his head, “Are you joking? When I said I missed her, I wasn’t lying. If she’s coming back to you it’s because she is tired of me—“ Jimin says and that has Seokjin closing his arms around Jimin’s shoulder, squeezing. 

“So, now that she's distracted with— what the heck is that?” 

“I think it’s a piece of bread?” 

“Should I be worried?” He says as he takes in the piece of now clammy and glued together bread. 

“Nah, those are antibodies—“ Jimin says, waving Jimin’s worries off. 

“How are you doing? Jihyun keeps us to date, you’re wanted by everyone to work with them, eh?” Seokjin smiles, he’s gorgeous and so effortlessly so. He’s wearing a long sleeve dark green shirt, and white pants. Small shiny earrings make his eyes glint. 

“So it seems,” Jimin says as he carefully removes hair falling on Yujin’s eyes. He takes a hair tie around his wrist and starts braiding it. “But I still haven’t decided where I’m going—“

“Jihyun is so proud, he can’t stop bragging about it,” Seokjin says and that should make Jimin feel incredibly happy, instead of a heavy weight set on his stomach. He puts on a smile though, “Whatever you decide will be the right choice,” he says and from that conversation flows easily. 

They also eat so much food, and Jimin manages to enjoy dinner without any trouble from Yujin. 

A wedding party of ten people isn’t too much (everybody else will fly in on the day of the wedding) but it’s still overwhelming, especially when there are at least three conversations going on. 

Jimin’s ears reach the one that involves Yoongi the moment Jimin notices him staring, his lips into a line when he notices Jimin staring back. 

He averts his gaze and Jimin hates how stubborn his heart is. 

Along with food, glasses are filled to the bream with delicious red wine. Loud laughter fills the space and Jimin takes it all. 

Jimin’s eyes follow Yoongi as he gets up to take a call, probably work. 

Harin is loud when she’s tipsy and Jimin finds cute the faintest blush in her cheeks. Jihyun is in deep conversation with Namjoon and Hoseok. “Oh, come on! You loved double dates—“ she says and Jimin, as gossipy as he is, makes sure to listen. 

Haeun looks down at her hand, “I do, but it didn’t work out.” 

“There’s always time, wedding vibes can do miracles!” Harin says as he brings her glass to her lips. 

“Hey, what are you talking about?” Taehyung asks them as he switches seats, getting closer and Jimin is curious too. 

“You want to try again?“ It's Seokjin who speaks and Jimin really wants to know what it is all about. 

Haeun flushes, “I mean— I think it wasn’t the greatest time, things were not amazing. Maybe we just needed to cool off a bit, I’d like to talk to him for sure—“ she says, “I’d love for me and Yoongi to try it out again.” 

And Jimin loves all heart’s matter and trying to solve it— wait, “What?” His voice doesn’t sound like his voice. And he didn’t even want to ask that question. His brain-to-mouth filter shortcutting. 

It’s Jeongguk who speaks, explaining the missing puzzle piece, “Haeun-ssi works in the company, but she and Yoongi dated for several months last year.” 

“Several? You call that almost ten months of dating?” Harin says and Jimin feels blood drain from his body. 

The past ten months. Yoongi removes him from his life because— “Holy shit,” he says and Seokjin groans next to him. “Oh fuck- Ah! I’m sorry, I’m sorry—“ he says and that has everyone laughing. 

Jimin feels like dying. “I didn’t know you guys dated, must have been hard dealing with his grumpy ass,” Jimin jokes and tries to avoid Taehyung’s gaze. He can’t deal with having him read him like an open book. Not now. 

“He’s a handful, not going to lie but I’d love to give it another try,” she says and Jimin– he wants to run away and scream from the top of his lungs that Yoongi is not like that. That he’s caring, loving and so not hard to handle. Because Jimin knows. He wants to scream that he knows, that he does know better than anyone else, but maybe that’s not the case. 

Maybe Jimin should let the sand castle fall. 

For now, he has only one solution: wine. 

It’s at that moment that Yoongi comes back, his eyes searching for Jimin first. He looks at him, and Yoongi’s brow furrows. What’s wrong? He asks from afar but Jimin avert his gaze. 

But it doesn’t take him much time to catch up on the matter at hand. And— his body gets tense, and his eyes never leave Jimin’s face. 

It hurts. Jimin can’t hide that. 

He tries, but Jimin needs a distraction. 

Once dinner is over he uses the rustling of bringing in leftovers to make room on the table for dessert, fruit and alcohol to sneak away for a moment. 

He needs to collect himself. 

And it helps that Yujin was starting to be restless, wanting to move her little body filled to the brim with a never ending source of energy. She guides Jimin toward a lemon grove, and the scent it’s amazing, so fresh and mixed with the sea not so far away. From there Jimin can see the small path that leads to the beach. 

He also wants to enjoy the view at night, the far away city light shining on the coast. “I don’t know how they can still eat dessert after everything Rebecca prepared,” Yoongi’s voice came from up close. Jimin turns around and finds him sitting on a bench a few feet away from Jimin. 

“There’s always room for dessert, especially if it’s cooked by the hands of that godly woman,” Jimin says as Yujin takes a lemon that has fallen on the ground, she shows it to Jimin. “That’s amazing, love! You like lemons?” 

She shakes her head, “Yucky, but it’s yellow,” she continues and Jimin shouldn’t be surprised. She loves yellow. She walks closer to Yoongi, showing him the lemon, too. 

“Rebecca is an amazing cook, I’ll tell her you think that. She’ll be happy—“ he says, his black hair falling over his eyes as he looks down at Yujin. “Uh uh, we’ve already assessed that you don’t hand oppa things from the ground,” Yoongi says and of course, he doesn’t speak to Yujin like the child she is. 

But he does it with Jimin. How peculiar. 

“In the Italian I didn’t know you talked?” Jimin asks him and Yoongi then looks up, accepting in the end the lemon Yujin brought him. He puts it on the ground when she’s busy looking for another one. 

“I grew up here, spent most summers with my family.” 

“Wait, this is the villa you told me about?,” Jimin gestures vaguely around and Yoongi nods, surprise on his face. “Wait, so maybe I should have known you speak italian? You told me? And this is yours?” Jimin asks and Yoongi nods. “Oh my god, of course you’d lend my brother your villa for his wedding.” Jimin says and he can see a smile on Yoongi’s face. 

“You remember that conversation?”

“Should I not?” 

“It was— silly,” Yoongi says, his hand coming up to scratch his neck, “And I think I never pointed out to me knowing the language, so you’re safe.” 

“Oh, thank god. You kept me so much on my toes I feared– wait, how did they punish people your age? By guillotine?” Jimin says and he can see Yoongi shaking his head, getting up and walking close to him. 

“Brat,” Yoongi says, and only that makes Jimin’s heart skip in his chest. 

“You shared with me something about your childhood, of course I remember— so this is the infamous lemon grove?” Jimin says and Yoongi leans on the fence, crossing his arms as he looks at him. 

And that— feel like belonging, the laughs Yoongi gives to Jimin. There’s a shake in his shoulder and by now Jimin knows what Yoongi truly is laughing feels like. He has it right in front of him. 

Yoongi knows every part of Jimin's soul. And Jimin could say he knows Yoongi better than most.  “Yeah, it’s this one. Saw the best and worst of me,” Yoongi says and Jimin lips curves up. 

But then he can’t help it, not when Yoongi’s hand comes up mindlessly to fix a rebel strand of Jimin’s hair behind his ear. “Was it good?” Jimin asks after a bit of silence, after he’s sure his voice won’t give away how nervous he is. How good the smallest of touches makes him feel. 

“What?”

“Not having me in your life?” 

All the relaxation in Yoongi’s shoulder dissipates, and his eyes harden as he looks at him, “Jimin.” 

“I think I deserve to know,” Jimin says, “You made a choice for me. So, was it good?” Jimin insists but Yoongi doesn’t answer him. His jaw clenches and it makes Jimin furious all over again. Especially if he thinks about what he finds out at dinner. “She’s age approved, right?” 

“I’m not doing this right now,” Yoongi says as he fixes his posture, trying to leave. 

“Because that’s what you do better. You walk away when things don’t go your way. I’m not something you can control, like you do with everything else in your life–” 

“Oh, trust me. I know that very well– there hasn’t been a single time you have listened to me when I told you why we can’t–” Yoongi starts but Jimin shakes his head. 

“No, don’t put the blame on me. I listened, it’s you who refuses to listen when I put on the table what’s really there’s between us—“ Jimin says, his voice getting watery and he hates it. He hates that this is what Yoongi can do to him with yet another rejection. 

“That’s the thing. There is nothing. And you not seeing it feel like I’m talking to a fucking child,” Yoongi says and Jimin should really be used to it. And he should learn when to put a stop to his own suffering. 

But Jimin can’t wrap his head about it. There is no way that Yoongi doesn’t feel like Jimin does, and he wants to understand why he’s not allowing himself to just have him. 

“If I was her age, would you have thought about me? Would it be enough?” 

“Don't do that, don’t put yourself on the same level. You don’t belong there,” and the words take a moment to register in Jimin’s hazed brain. Yoongi spoke with urgency, like he cannot fathom the idea of Jimin being in his life like that. 

But when they do click, he recoils back, losing the warmth of Yoongi’s barely-there touch on his hand.

Rejection, again. He just wonders why it doesn't ever become easier to handle. And why doesn’t Yoongi stop reminding him of it? 

Jimin moves away, not in the mood for any of it. “I– I need to go. Ehm, I– I need to use the restroom—“ he speaks softly, barely a whisper. “Look out for Yujin, okay?” he says and he doesn’t know why he lied. He just wants to get out of Yoongi’s sight. He needs to walk away as fast as he can and– 

Don't put yourself on the same level.

You don’t belong there.

Confusion crosses Yoongi’s eyes for a brief moment, which pisses Jimin off incredibly. He hates that he can read that in his face, he hates that it’s there. He has no rights. Then Yoongi’s eyes widened. “Fuck— Jimin I— You know that’s not what I meant,” he says reading in Jimin’s mind, in the sudden distance he put between them. 

“But do I?” 

“What?”

“Do I know that?” Jimin looks at Yoongi, and there’s hurt in his face but it’s soon gone for something else. Determination? Does he really want to make Jimin feel that miserable? “I think after a year of silence, some things you forget, just like you did with me.” 

Yoongi’s hands twitch by his side, as if he’d like to reach out for Jimin but he doesn’t, he doesn’t do anything other than stare at Jimin. 

And he should have known better, Yoongi would never act on impulse. 

So Jimin takes a few steps separating him from Yoongi, and as he starts walking back to the house, leaving the lemon grove, fingers wrap around his wrist. His back pushed against the trunk of a tree. 

Yoongi’s eyes are dark, almost liquid as they search for Jimin’s. The bulb of fairy light paints his face in a warm light. “Do you think it was easy?” 

Jimin nods, but his breath itches when Yoongi chuckles, it’s a dry sound, devoid of humor. He’s astonished that Jimin might think like he does, but how can he not? Jimin has so little to work with. “Shit, Jimin— you have no idea—“ 

“And I don’t, you’re right. Because you made sure of that. It was so easy you went and fell in love with someone else.” Jimin points out, “So, I think it was pretty easy for you, yes. And now,” Jimin breathes in, the gentle sea breeze and Yoongi’s invading fresh scent, clean and so comforting. “Now I have my best friend in front of me, and I just miss him—“ 

This time it’s Yoongi who recoils back, like touching Jimin burned him. 

Jimin shakes his head and detaches himself from Yoongi’s hold, “Did you forget that as well?” 

Yoongi doesn’t answer, allowing Jimin to walk away from him. 

“You were my best friend, before anything else that you think happened. And I’ve missed you. I miss you, still. And you decided I shouldn’t have had you in my life,” Jimin says. It’s low, and vulnerable. 

Yoongi can’t bring to look up and Jimin feels a sudden rage moving around his chest. He doesn’t say anything though, he only walks away and inside the house, closing the door behind him and allowing the tears to finally stream down his face. 

two and a half year before

Please answer, please answer the phone is the only thing Jimin can chant right now in his head. He really needs his brother to answer his damn phone. It’s not an emergency per se but Jimin needs someone to talk to, and he really needs it now because his love life has just come to an abrupt end and this is no way happening to him– “Yes?” 

“Oh thank god, Jihyunie–” Jimin says as his voice comes out all wobbly and wet. 

“I’m–” 

“I’m sorry for calling you so late but I didn’t know who else to call and Taehyung is on a twelve hour long flight and he just boarded and–” Jimin stops, a sob breaking his rumbling. “And I don’t know what I did wrong this time,” Jimin starts, and he can’t stop the dam from falling. “I think I did everything perfectly, and it still serve nothing.”

“Are you crying?” his brother says and Jimin scoffs. Is he sick? His voice doesn’t sound like him, it’s a bit more gravel and low. 

“Hyung, you’re a little slow to be a big brain in a successful growing company,” Jimin says and hearing a soft chuckle on the other side makes him feel a little bit better. “Yes, I am crying. Why else would I call you?” Jimin says out loud and then he slouches on his couch, which he shares with Taehyung. 

Being alone right now, even if Jimin is used to it, sucks. “I– Jiseok cheated on me,” Jimin says, straight to the point. What’s the need for sugarcoating it? It won’t change what happened. “And it shouldn’t hurt this much, but it does and I don't know how to deal with this because he cheated on me and who in their right mind would do such a thing?” Jimin asks and then another sob, “I mean not because I’m that much, there’s people prettier than me and funnier and everything else. Kihyun is, for one, and Jiseok cheated on me with him.” Jimin says and he can’t stop. He doesn’t even know if Jihyun is listening but he can hear him breathing on the other side. 

“But I mean, why cheat? Why couldn’t he just tell me he fell for someone else? And why did he have to make me find out about it like that–” Jimin asks and there’s silence on the other side. Jimin groans, “Hyung, you’re not being helpful. This is the time you say something to me, ask some questions–” Jimin points out. 

“Ehm, I’m sorry? I’m not really good at this since I’m not Jihyun,” his brother says– wait. 

“What?” Jimin asks as he blows his nose in a tissue he was already holding. He sits up on the couch. “Where’s Jihyun? Why do you have his phone?” Jimin asks, then pushes his phone away to check the name he called, “I called his saved number there’s no way I called the wrong one,” he continues and he can hear another chuckle. 

“I forgot how talkative you are.” 

“Okay. Fuck you, for starter. Why do you talk like you know me?” 

“I’m Yoongi,” the other voice says and Jimin is confused. “I do know you,” he says. 

“Should I know you?” 

“Well, unless you suffer from long term memory loss you should. I’m your brother’s best friend? I work with him,” Yoongi explains and Jimin has to stop and think for a moment but then– of course. “I spend multiple times at your house,” he continues and that– 

“Oh right, Min Yoongi. Yeah, I do remember. Sorry, it’s been a while?” 

“Let’s say forever?” Yoongi says, then adds, “Where are you by the way?” 

Jimin walks up and goes to the kitchen, he needs a cool glass of water. “I’m at my college dorm,” he says as he pours the liquid in a glass. But then he opts for something else and pour it in a kettle, he wants a tea. 

“Wait, aren’t you like eleven?” 

Jimin almost drop the phone, “Okay, do I need to say fuck you again? I was but like ten years ago?” 

“No way.” 

Jimin doesn’t know what's going on or why he’s entertaining this conversation, but then he remembers why he called and suddenly he can feel his eyes getting yet again. “Listen, I’d love to explain how time works to you but, could you hand the phone to Jihyun?” and Jimin really needs a friendly voice to help him. 

He has given his all in this relationship and this is how he’s getting out of it, with a broken heart and a shuttered trust. He wasn’t one to do a relationship but Jiseok was so nice and he felt like he was the one to Jimin. 

And going to his house across the hall, because they had a date tonight, and finding him wrapped in the very same sheet Jimin has slept in with someone else… Well, that fucking sucked. “I can’t,” Yoongi says and Jimin doesn’t have time for this. 

“I’m not in the mood to entertain geriatric patient, can you just–” 

“Wow, fuck you,” Yoongi says and Jimin feels his mouth twitch upward, “And I’d love to, because honestly listening to what happened to basically a stranger is not really how I like to spend my friday night but I can’t because Jihyun is unreachable now. He’s on a flight, just like your friend, and all his emergency calls get forwarded to my number,” Yoongi explains and Jimin can’t verbally answer. He just can’t because tears start streaming down his face again and he can’t believe that the only two people who could have helped get through this shitty time are on a flight. 

“Are you crying, again?” 

Jimin shakes his head, “Uhm, listen. Do you know when he’ll land?” 

“A little bit more than twelve hours,” Yoongi says but then he adds, “Jimin, are you okay? Where are you exactly?” 

“Thank you, I’ll call him later.” Jimin ends the calls then because there’s no way he can keep up talking with someone he doesn’t really know. Well, he knows Yoongi, he remembers seeing him in the house from time to time but Jimin never really paid much attention to his brother, nevertheless his brother’s friends. They were all mystic figures to Jimin, someone he really didn’t want to engage with. And vice versa. 

He doesn’t remember a single time where Yoongi directly spoke to Jimin, and maybe it’s for the better if that’s the way he handles another human being that is in distress and crying. 

But anyway, Jimin will have to mend his own heart. He did just fine when his parents died, so he can’t see why he can’t deal with this minor incident in his life. You didn’t handle it well, you lashed out on poor Jihyun with your rage and sorrow– 

He pours his tea into a cup and goes to his room but that’s a bad idea because he can hear laughter, and that’s– that’s just cruel because Jiseok knows they share the same bedroom wall. 

So Jimin goes back to his living room and opts for the couch, he sits cross legged and maybe he can keep his mind occupied with working on his next assignment, which he does. He brings everything he needs and fixes a studying station on the small table at the end of the couch. It’s not comfortable, but Jimin has studied the worst situations– like in line for a concert, or during the busiest day at his workplace. 

This should be a piece of cake, except that it isn’t because he’s not focused and he has physical chemistry to prepare, which is not easy at all. And Jimin couldn’t care less about how matter behaves on a chemistry level right now. Not when his heart feels like it has succumbed to the law of all physics known to Earth. 

But still he tries and it’s only when he hears a knock coming from his door that Jimin’s eyes leave the book. He had to put on his glasses or else he would have fried his eyes off, and all the crying didn’t really help with the growing headache he feels. And he can’t believe that Jiseok has the audacity to knock this late in the evening– “You don’t have an ounce of respect for me, do yo– Yoongi?” Jimin as he open the door and all his rage leaves his body in exchange for confusion. “What– How are you here?” 

“Took a bit of research, let’s just say I was glad to discover that your brother keeps us regularly updated on your academic results–” Yoongi says as he shows his phone to Jimin, it’s a text message app where he looks for Jimin’s name. Some information about him and the college he studies at pops up and Jimin can’t believe it. 

It’s mostly Seokjin who responds, and Jimin is not surprised. He was the one that catered the most to him in these past years, after Jimin and Jihyun lost it all. Jimin has only good and fond memories of Seokjin, and Namjoon as well. “This is kind of creepy,” Jimin says as he hands back the phone to Yoongi, who is still at the door. “Why?” 

“Because if Jihyun found out I left you all alone and crying while he wasn’t physically able to reach you, he would put an end to my life.” 

“Oh, so you’re not here because you’re fundamentally good at heart,” Jimin says as he still doesn’t let Yoongi in. But he looks at him, and Jimin can’t comprehend now why he never spared eyes to this man. His fine, good locking and oozing power and control from every cell and atom of his body. 

Jimin likes what he sees. 

Yoongi is wearing a suit, black, with a white shirt underneath. “Don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not even sure there is one to begin with–” 

“There must be, if you’re here. And we’re strangers to each other, you could have left me here to cry if you weren’t good.” 

Yoongi’s mouth curves up, then he locks eyes with Jimin. “And since I’m here, I still haven't heard a thank you or a please come in, how impolite of me keeping you at the door–” Yoongi says 

“Maybe I was hoping for Jinseok to open his to see you standing before me,” Jimin says casually. And that has Yoongi raise his eyebrow. 

“Is that his door?” 

Jimin nods, “Yeah, convenient. Right?” he continues, then he feels  his eyes getting watery again. “I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to spend your Friday night dealing with me crying. It’s fine–” Jimin says as he tries to dry his tears with the hem of his sweater. 

“Was he so important?” Yoongi asks him, still on the threshold. 

“I think so, but I’ll be fine. It’s just that I found out a few hours ago? I was supposed to go over at his for a date and–” 

Yoongi’s eyes widens and his jaw clenches. “He– what?” he looks angry and Jimin can’t understand why. Then he enter Jimin’s apartment, pushing past him. Jimin doesn’t really understand what is happening but he decides to follow Yoongi’s lead. “Wait here and open the door when I knock–” before Jimin can say anything back Yoongi has disappeared. 

Jimin spy from the peephole and what he sees put a smile on his face. There’s Yoongi knocking on Jiseok’s door, “Hi, sorry. I’m looking for Jimin– is this the correct address right?”  

He brings a hand to his mouth to muffle his giggle, Jiseok is studying the man before him but soon Jimin’s smile dies when Kihyun appears in the door as well, shirtless. “Ehm, is that one,” Kihyun says since Jiseok seems to have lost his speech property. 

“Who are you?” 

Yoongi turns toward Jimin’s door for a brief second, like he knows Jimin is spying. “No one you should care about. Let’s just say I was hoping for this day to come–” Yoongi casually says even if nothing about him screams casual. He looks in control, in power and Jiseok is so pale in the face Jimin wants to laugh. 

Seeing him close to Yoongi is funny, and Jimin realizes how boyish Jiseok looks. He never really noticed before. “What day?” 

“The day Jimin was free, I heard he got cheated on by some asshole. I was waiting to have my chance,” Yoongi says, like he doesn’t know who he’s talking to. Like Jiseok is just a neighbour. 

Oh my god, Jimin is loving this. 

“Wait, you can’t–” Jiseok start once Yoongi turns around to move toward the right door. He stops in his track and stare right into Jiseok’s eyes. 

“What? I don’t know you but I think I can do what I want?” Yoongi says as he knocks once. Jimin doesn’t open right away, he makes sure to dry his eyes as best as he can and put on his most surprised and amused face. 

“Hyung?” Jimin asks, actors could lose their jobs because of Jimin’s performance. “What are you doing here?” 

“You know this guy?” Jiseok asks him and Jimin doesn’t even look at him when he answers. His eyes are into Yoongi’s dark one, a glint of amusement in them. 

“He tried to hit on me once at a club, you were there but were busy smoking outside with Kihyun,” Jimin start but Yoongi interrupt him 

“Told him if he ever were single again, to call me up. I would love to show him how things are really done,” Yoongi says, without never stray his eyes from Jimin. His hand comes to close around his waist and he push Jimin slightly closer to his body. Then, only after and he whispers something into Jimin’s ear that sound a lot like follow me, Yoongi looks up and Jimin does to. 

Jiseok look on the point of fainting and Kihyun has a smile displayed on his face. “When did– Jimin, you can’t do this–” Jiseok tries but Yoongi shakes his head. 

“I think Jimin is more than capable of making his own decision,” Yoongi says as Jimin’s hand reaches up to Yoongi’s shirt. He pulls him inside from that, without saying anything. “Thank you for the right direction,” Yoongi call to Kihyun, ignoring some other weak protest from Jiseok. 

“Anytime!” 

Then Yoongi closes the door behind him and he cages Jimin between his body and the door. It feel hot? Yoongi looks down at him and gestures to him to be quiet, and Jimin has to fight so hard the laughter that wants to explode from his mouth. 

Then, after hearing voices still in the common hollow, Yoongi’s hand slams on the door once, twice and again and again. Harder and harder. “Do you have shared walls?” Yoongi wipes Jimin’s ears and it shouldn’t be, it shouldn’t feel this hot, but Jimin finds it hard to use his voice, so he just nods. 

“Good, remind me in an hour or so. I’ll do it again,” Yoongi says as he pulls himself away from Jimin. He can breathe again, even though he weirdly misses the smell of clean laundry. 

The words take a moment to make sense inside Jimin’s brain, “You’re going to wait here?” 

“Do you not want me to? I can leave,” Yoongi says and Jimin thinks about it for a moment. It would be wise to have Yoongi leave but a part of him doesn’t want him to. What could possibly go wrong? And he’s been so nice to Jimin, the least he can do is offer him–what? What could Jimin give him? 

“No, I mean– If you don’t want to leave, I’m okay with you staying,” Jimin says as he moves to the open kitchen. “Would you like something to drink?” he asks as he opens his fridge and takes out a beer from it. Yoongi gladly takes it and Jimin does too. 

Yoongi looks weirdly at him, “Are you allowed to drink that?” 

“Didn’t we already assess that I’m of age, adult, age? If you happen to wonder, I also have sex and tried weed,” Jimin explains to Yoongi who shakes his head like he didn’t want to know. There is the hint of a smile on his face and Jimin takes incredible pride in having it put there. 

He doesn’t know what but Jimin think that making Yoongi laugh is hard and challenging and that’s why he want to do it more often. 

“Now I have to tell Jihyun,” Yoongi says and Jimin opens both their bottles. “Look in what position you put me,” Yoongi says and Jimin shakes his head. 

“Jihyun knows, he bought me weed the first time because he wanted to make sure I was safe and sound while trying it,” Jimin shares as he guides Yoongi toward the couch. They sit there and it’s almost comical how Yoongi takes all the space around him and makes it look like he owns it. Even when he never set foot in Jimin’s place. 

“You new generations are scary as shit,” Yoongi says as Jimin swats him off with the heel of his foot. “What? You are!”

“Let’s hear then, what were you caveman doing at twenty-one?” 

Yoongi looks at him and then he grins, “You’re such a brat,” he says and Jimin brings the glass bottle to his lips, not missing the way Yoongi follows the motion. 

“That I am, but you still haven’t answered my question,” he says and Yoongi mirrors Jimin’s action, and this time it is Jimin who can’t look away from the way Yoongi’s hand, so big, holds the bottle so effortlessly. How nice his hair is. Is that an undercut? 

That’s hot. 

“Okay, probably the same as you–” 

“Ah, I wanted you there,” Jimin says with a winning grin, but Yoongi continues talking. 

“Except I was doing it on purpose to piss off my parents,” Yoongi shares and Jimin sits cross-legged better on the couch to be able to listen. “Are you hungry?” he asks when he hears Jimin’s stomach growling. “Did you eat?” 

Jimin waves him off with his hand, “I was supposed to eat with Jiseok but as you know the plan didn’t go accordingly.” 

“Wait,” Yoongi says as he puts the beer bottle aside, his phone in pocket has been buzzing for a long time but not once Yoongi picks it up. He puts it face down close to the beer. “So you’re telling me the pizza I saw on the table was supposed to be for you?” When Jimin nods, Yoongi curses again. “That son of a–” 

“Don’t get his mom involved, she’s a lovely woman,” Jimin says and that snaps Yoongi’s attention back to him. 

“That asshole. Is it better?” Yoongi asks and Jimin nods, a grin on his lips as Yoongi pinches the bridge of his nose. “You need to eat,” he says as he takes his phone out to order take out. He’s quick and Jimin has no time to protest. 

“You know I have the economic resources to order my own take out?” Jimin asks once the rider knocks on his door. Jimin tips him good and takes the bag inside. He doesn’t even know what Yoongi ordered but it smells amazing. 

He took for granted that it would be pizza, but it’s nice of him to not order what Jimin should have eaten before the disaster happened. And that– that brings him down once again. And Yoongi notices immediately as he takes Jimin’s bag from his finger. “Hey,” he calls him, “It’s his loss, okay?” Yoongi says as he brings Jimin to sit at the table. 

There’s all his notes on it still. Yoongi pushed them away and set the food on the table. “How did you know I love pad thai and sticky mango rice?” Jimin asks him as he devours what Yoongi ordered. 

Yoongi points to a picture of Taehyung in Thailand. “I figured,” he says and the nonchalant way he says shouldn’t make Jimin feel so troubled. “And I craved it,” he says and that makes Jimin laugh, a solid, loud laugh. Yoongi’s corner lifts up, too. 

Then a bit of silence between them. It’s not uncomfortable, yet Jimin feels the need to break it, “So, why did you want to piss off your parents?” 

Yoongi brings the beer bottle to his lips, now cherry red. “They were basic pricks, never caring much for the life they put into this ugly world,” Yoongi says and Jimin invited him to tell him more because that’s not enough. “My dad has never cared much about having children, he just wanted us to be sure to have someone to brainwash as he’d like to reign his properties and companies.”

“Us?”

“Yeah, it’s me, my younger brother and my little sister– which by the way is just a couple of years older than you are,” Yoongi says and Jimin tilts his head. 

“Are they as funny as you are?” Jimin asks and there’s the hint of sarcasm in his voice. 

“Brat,” Yoongi says to him and Jimin likes that he understood his tone immediately. 

“They are not, unfortunately they are exactly what my father wished them to be.” 

“And your mother?” Jimin asks because he can hardly understand how someone can put three kids into these words and just leave them to grow without love. All the memories Jimin has of his mom and dad are heartwarming and he’d give anything in this world to be able to feel their arm around his body again. 

“She was hardly in the picture, she was the trophy wife and I think she somehow detached herself from the life she was living, tried to take only the good, wealthy thing it could offer,” Yoongi says and Jimin hums, as he takes a bite of mango. 

“Do you blame her?” Jimin asks and Yoongi stops his movement to look at Jimin, to really look at him. And Jimin feels how different it is, to be looked at by his eyes like that, like Jimin just asked a question no one ever thought to. 

Yoongi leaves his beer on the table, “I thought I did, but now I don’t blame her. It wasn’t a life she wanted, it wasn’t the love she wanted, either. She survived and in her defense we weren’t the easiest kid to be around,” Yoongi jokes as he puts some of his mango on Jimin’s white sticky rice. 

Jimin thanks him, eating everything on his plate. It’s all so good and he should definitely asks Yoongi where did he order everything from. 

But then Yoongi’s phone buzzes again and this time– “Sorry, I have to take this one,” he says and Jimin nods. He shows him the way to his room, so that he can talk freely and without any background noise such as Jimin storing leftovers in the fridge. And throwing away the bottle of beer, now warm. “No, I will not be available. And I need them to review the data they sent me, it’s wrong and I can’t deal with such a low level of incompetence.” Jimin hears Yoongi say and he definitely wouldn’t want to be in the shoes of the other person on the phone. “Tell them they have until Sunday. I’d want it corrected first thing first in the morning, I’ll read in my flight to them,” he finishes and then he’s back in the kitchen with Jimin. 

“That was brutal,” Jimin makes him notice. 

“We’re in the middle of acquiring a start-up and they keep mixing up numbers and important info to delay the inevitable,” Yoongi says and Jimin pretends he understands what he’s talking about. His brother tries everytime to explain it to him but Jimin has no interest in understanding what it’s about. He only cares that what they do is legal. 

“How dare they not want to hand over their hard work to you vultures,” Jimin jokes and the glare Yoongi sends him makes it even funnier. Jimin is having the time of his life and since Yoongi got here his mind didn’t drift off to Jiseok as much as it would have if he had been alone. 

Then Jimin yawns and Yoongi checks his clock, silver shiny on his wrist. “It’s late, I should probably get going.” 

“No second round?” Jimin asks, remembering what Yoongi told him before. Yoongi looks lost for a brief second but then he grins. “Aren’t you a menace?”

Jimin shrugs but he walk Yoongi to the door, but before Yoongi can go, Jimin stops him, he leans on the open door and fidgets a moment, “Let me say thank you to,” Jimin whispers to him and Yoongi’s eyes widens, his face hardens comically fast. 

“Jimin, this is not why I–” 

“Oh my god, not like that.” Jimin says, “Let me buy you lunch tomorrow.” 

“Do you know I have money?” 

“Yeah, I know you’re filthy rich. Your point?” 

“Such a fucking brat,” Yoongi says but he doesn’t say no. He’s entertaining the idea. 

Jimin pushes a little bit more, “It’s the least I can do, to repay you of your lost friday night spent with a crying broken-hearted-me,” he says and he can see something shift in the way Yoongi’s eyes rest on him. Then Yoongi takes his phone and makes a phone call, Jimin can hear his own phone ringing somewhere. 

“Text me where and when,” Yoongi says as he bends down to whisper something in Jimin’s ear. “And he’s not,” he says and Jimin looks at him confused. “He’s not prettier or more beautiful than you are,” Yoongi says before straightening again and leaving Jimin standing there. 

Then Jimin hears commotion from Jiseok’s door, and an amused smile leaves his face. 

How did Yoongi know? 

But Jimin, honestly, doesn’t care. 

Is it weird that as he tucks himself in bed, all he can think about is that he can’t wait for tomorrow to happen?

Chapter Text

two and a half year before

Jimin is taking way too long to get dressed, he’s putting way too much thinking into it. He knows he shouldn’t but he just can’t help it. It’s clear that nothing will happen between him and Yoongi but there’s a part of Jimin that is drawn to the man. Is it maybe because he came to Jimin’s rescue when he could have just ignored it?

But as Jimin leaves the subway to walk to where he wrote Yoongi to meet, Jimin thinks that if he has to be honest with himself, he’ll be okay with just offering lunch to him. He just wants to say thank you, that’s all. 

And that’s the spirit Jimin walks with into the restaurant. Yoongi is already sitting and Jimin shouldn’t be surprised, especially when he hears him talking on the phone in the same tone he heard yesterday. Jimin rounds the table and comes into his sight of vision. 

As Jimin removes his coat, leaving him with his wide legged jeans and a soft beige sweater, Yoongi has already ended the call. “You could have continued, I don’t mind–” Jimin says and Yoongi, in response, pockets his phone away. “Jihyun does it all the time,” he adds as he takes the menu in his hand and fidget with it. 

Jimin already knows what he’s going to have, his usual whenever he comes to Miyeon’s kitchen. She’s an amazing cook, learning from the hand of her grandmother and Jimin has never eaten a better meal than when he came here. He and Taehyung often come here. “Did you find the place fine?” Jimin asks as Yoongi drums his finger on the table. 

He takes him in for the first time, Yoongi is wearing another suit, different from last night. This one tends more to a burgundy color, but he’s more casual, without wearing a tie. “I know you think I’m technology incompetent but I know how to navigate a GPS,” Yoongi says and that makes Jimin laugh. 

He shouldn’t feel as nervous as he does, but he’s happy he’s holding on. That he can show a version of himself that is not crying to Yoongi. “Thank you,” Jimin says then to him, out of the blue. Yoongi leans back in his chair. 

“There’s no need to, as you didn’t need to offer me this lunch,” Yoongi says and Jimin shakes his head. 

“I’m grateful, I wanted to show it. You spent your night with me, and you didn’t have to by any mean–” 

“If I didn’t want to do it, I wouldn’t,” Yoongi says to him and that– that it’s true. Yoongi doesn’t seem like one to do what he doesn’t want to. Jimin relaxes in his seat then, putting down the menu he was holding. 

When Miyeon comes closer to take their order she immediately recognizes Jimin, “Hey, Jimin-ah. So nice to see you! Wait, who do we have here? Is this the boy you were telling me about?” she asks, she’s older than Jimin, probably more around Yoongi’s age. 

“Oh no, he’s a friend. Me and Jiseok are no longer together–” Jimin says and Miyeon’s eyes saddens but Jimin waves his hand. “It’s okay, he cheated on me. I think I dodged a bullet, right?” 

“Absolutely, my dear,” She says as she starts writing down something on her block notes. “Okay, your order will be ready soon. I’ll add a little special as a treat for your broken heart,” she says and Jimin wink at her. 

Yoongi looks at the scene with an amused grin on his face, “She didn’t ask what we want to eat though,” he asks but then his smile widens, “You’re a regular here and you never brought Jiseok here?” 

Jimin thinks for a moment about it and that’s true– he never came here to eat with Jiseok. Not even once, he would tell him that he would often come here but not even once Jiseok asked to try it out. Maybe Jimin didn’t want to share a place he thinks special with someone– with someone Jimin thought was his one. “Then you should feel extra special,” Jimin says to him and Yoongi's smile doesn’t falter. But Jimin does when he points to Miyeon. 

“I like her,” Yoongi says and Jimin feels something he can’t name moving around his stomach. But then he looks at Yoongi and he’s not actually looking at her, his eyes are set on Jimin. 

And Jimin’s mouth breaks into a grin, “So it only takes someone calling you boy to swoon you over?” he jokes and Jimin must read it right because Yoongi chuckles. 

“Listen, for once is nice being mistaken for someone younger, someone your age–” 

“God, you’re so boring. You talk like you have to consider starting to write your will,” Jimin says and he can see Yoongi rolling his eyes at him. The food arrives at that moment and for a brief second there is silence between them as they share food and simple and easy chat. 

When he woke up this morning Jimin wasn’t feeling as shitty as he did yesterday night, but it still hurt him to think that right across his door there was supposed to be the man Jimin wanted to spend his time with. He wouldn’t go as far as to say his life, but Jimin was considering it. “How are you?”

“I’m sor–”

“Don’t say it. I asked because I want to know,” Yoongi says and Jimin nods. 

He brings a spoon of soup to his mouth, “I’m hurt that he wouldn’t respect me enough to be open with me, that he and Kihyun acted behind my back,” Jimin says and the more he thinks about it, the more he realize that the reason he feel like this is because of that: trust. “I’m a very trusting and open person, and I don’t automatically assume the worst–”

“You’re so similar to Jihyun,” Yoongi shares and Jimin smiles, he likes to hear it. He admires his brother and knowing that someone so close to him would think that of Jimin, makes him smile. 

“What he did, it’s shitty and I don’t think I deserved it. What makes my blood boil is the text message I received this morning–” Jimin takes his phone out to show Yoongi. 

Jiseok 

I don’t think what you did was nice

You didn’t need to get back

at me like that 

I thought better of you 

Yoongi’s eyebrow shoots up and Jimin giggles at his expression, which suddenly turns very pissed. “Fucking child,” he says and Jimin puts his phone away, “How did you even put up with him for–” 

“A year and a half,” Jimin says, “Honestly, he was nice and funny,” Jimin says and Yoongi raises one single eyebrow. 

“Is the bar that low today?” 

“Oh my god, stop speaking like you’re eighty years old. And come one, how do you treat your partner?” Jimin asks and Yoongi shakes his head. 

“I don’t have a partner.” 

“No fucking hell,” Jimin says as he pop a piece of fried tangsuyuk in his mouth, “I don’t get how someone as funny and entertaing as you would be single,” Jimin continues and Yoongi sighs as he leans back. 

“Are you always such a brat, or is it reserved for me only?” 

“Wouldn’t you love to know?” Jimin says, smiling his cheekiest smile. They keep talking during lunch and even when all food is gone, they keep on chatting endlessly and Jimin honestly loves it. He wants to know everything about the man sitting before him, and how possibly he could have missed his presence in his life when it’s clear that Yoongi has been glued to Jihyun, apparently, for the longest time. 

“So, wait. You’re telling me that you found him cheating on you while you were reading to propose?” 

Yoongi nods, “Yeah, not my brightest moment,” he says as they walk side by side. They had finished eating a while ago and Jimin suggested for them to have a walk toward Yoongi’s workplace, his work place which is no more than a fifteen minute walk. But they can’t stop talking and Jimin can’t believe his ears. 

“Why do you say it like it’s your fault?” 

“I– because he blamed me and it made sense,” Yoongi says and Jimin stops in his tracks. 

“So not only did he cheat on you, he also gaslith you into thinking you pushed him another man’s dick?” Jimin says and then he sighs, “Fuck, why are man so much like atoms–” 

“What’s that even suppose to mean?” 

“That you can’t trust them,” Jimin says as he gazes towards Yoongi, “‘Cause they made everything up,” Jimin continues and it takes a moment for it to click, and Jimin can see it the one single chemistry class Yoongi must have taken in his life to understand his joke. 

The older crack and lightly push Jimin away from him. “God, I love me a good chemistry puns, periodically,” Yoongi says and that has Jimin doubling over, almost losing his balance. Yoongi keeps him there, his arms around Jimin’s waist. They share a look, faint shy smiles. 

Then Jimin straightens, “I’m sorry it happened to you, too. Well, I was nowhere near proposing so I think you win that one, but it shouldn’t happen. Why is it so hard to be honest with each other? Aren’t relationships supposed to be based on that?” Jimin asks as he takes his phone out of his jeans to check why it was buzzing like crazy. 

It’s a group chat of a birthday party Jimin has tonight, “Shit,” he says and groans out loud. 

“What’s wrong?”  

Jimin shakes his head, he can’t bother Yoongi with this as well. So Jimin pockets the phone and pretends he didn’t just remember he has a birthday tonight and that at that birthday Jiseok will probably be present with Kihyun as well. Jimin refuses not to go, he won’t give him the satisfaction of staying home. And Jimin won’t cry anymore than he already did. 

Yoongi doesn’t press but then he stops in his tracks, they have reached the main location of their company and Jimin doesn’t want to say goodbye. He really would love to keep talking with Yoongi and share bits of their life but he knows that it won’t happen. That is where they go back to being strangers. “I’ll leave you to work,” Jimin says as he takes a step closer to the older, “Thank you again, for everything you did hyung,” he says as he presses a small kiss on Yoongi’s cheek. 

The elder freezes on the spot, but his hand closes on Jimin’s back, keeping him closer for a moment. “Don’t mention it,” he says and then as he pulls away from Jimin, he adds, “If you need anything, just call me,” he says and Jimin nods. 

They say their goodbyes and Jimin is pretty sure he won’t be seeing or hearing anymore from Yoongi. And it’s okay, it’s supposed to be like this. So he doesn’t understand how it is possible that it’s just twenty four hours. He feels crazy, his mind going back again and again to their conversation and to how he would have liked to spend even more time with him. And as he sits close to his colleague acquaintance as they laugh and drink, Jimin feels a bit out of it, not really in the mood to be his usual talkative and loud self. 

Not when Jiseok and Kihyun decided to sit right across from him. “I always thought he wasn’t good enough for you,” Tiyeon says to him, she’s the birthday girl and as soon as she found out what happened the moment Jimin set foot in the pub, she sided with him immediately. “And I decided I won’t be paying for their drink, fuck if I offer things to cheater,” she says and Jimin hugs her tight. 

“Don’t worry, Ti,” Jimin says, “I’ll be fine, it’s just the blatant disrespect and the heavy gaslighting that has me going mad,” he explains and she listens. She has always been nice to him and there was no way Jimin would have missed her birthday, especially if the excuses would have been two poor excuses of a man. 

“Let me offer you a shot,” she says as they walk up to the bar. The bartender is quick in noticing them, because Tiyeon is gorgeous and of course she steals glances everywhere she goes. But she has eyes only for her girl, which is waiting for her at the table. 

Jimin is not too bad himself, he’s wearing a nice black blouse, a simple choker of shiny diamonds around his neck and tight jeans. When Jimin down the first shot he thanks the burning sensation he feels, grounding him and connecting him with his body. Jimin is fine, and there’s no way that witnessing Jiseok and Kihyun eating each other’s mouth in front of him will change that. “Another round?” Jimin asks and Tiyeon smiles wide. 

They are done pretty quickly and she needs to excuse herself as other people come greeting her happy birthday. Jimin stays back at the bar a little bit longer, asking the bartender for a drink that he will sip on. His phone buzzes in that moment and he thinks it might be a text from Taehyung, afterall he just got to him and explained to him what had happened. 

But Jimin’s eyes widens because– “Hyung?” Jimin asks as he brings his phone to his ear. “Is everything okay?” Jimin asks and he can hear a chuckle from the other side. 

“I’m supposed to be the adult asking that question,” Yoongi says and Jimin rolls his eyes, and he knows Yoongi can feel him doing that. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, brat,” he calls him out and Jimin smiles, biting his lips. 

“What do you need, hyung?” Jimin asks as if they have done this milione of time before.  

Yoongi is silent for a moment and then, “I just wanted to check up on you. Today–” 

Jimin interrupts him, “Is it because you fear Jihyun’s vengeful might?” Jimin jokes and he can hear a sighs. He’s not making it easy for the older. “I swear I will beg to spare your life,” Jimin continues and from the other side something along the line of such a fucking brat come in an amused whisper. 

“Today, when you checked your phone you didn’t make a good face. I wanted to make sure,” Yoongi says and Jimin stops, he notices? 

A strange warmth spreads through Jimin’s chest and he knows it’s not for the sip of alcohol he just downed. “Yeah, it’s all good. I had forgotten that I had a birthday party to attend,” Jimin explains, omitting an important part but Yoongi is quick on it. 

“Jiseok and Kihyun are there?” 

Jimin hums, “And quite blatantly making out right in front of me,” Jimin says, “But it’s fine, I’m drowning my rage in insanely good drinks and vodka shots. And eying a really cute guy that maybe could give me a hell of a time–” Jimin says as he makes eye contact with a random guy who has been staring at them throughout the night. He’s cute, not sure he can give anything at all to Jimin. He doesn’t know why he said that out loud. 

“Where are you?” Comes quick and all too low, something moves inside Jimin. 

“I’m all good, hyung. No need for another rescue,” Jimin says and the quiet he hears on the other side makes him sigh. “I’m at Wasabi, but I’m okay, really– And, for real? Did he just hang up on me?” 

Jimmin shakes his head in disbelief, they are all testing his patience this last couple of days. Jimin takes his drink and goes back to the table, he really wants to try and have some fun, at least to go home with not such a terrible memory of this night. So he sits back but maybe it’s a mistake, “So, no sight of that crazy asshole of yesterday?” Jiseok tells him, and Jimin is astonished but the audacity of the man in front of him. 

Kihyun is gone and Jimin doesn’t know where to, not that he cares but– “I’d rather when you kiss him, so I don’t have to hear you talking to me like this is my fault,” Jimin makes him notice and Jiseok shakes his head. 

“But it is, you’re not an easy person and Kihyun is just–” 

“Jiseok, we’ve been together for over a year. Can you please stop shitting all over it?” Jimin asks, “You were incredibly happy when I found out you were cheating on me, and now? What? I sleep with another guy and suddenly I’m the bad guy?” Jimin says and that seems to do the job for a brief second. 

And Jimin can’t even believe that he’s entertaining this conversation. Jiseok plays with the hem of his shirt and he looks so boyish in that, and lousy and not as hot as Jimin remembered him to be. How fast things can change. 

“I don’t like him, and you shouldn’t trust him–” 

“Are you one to talk about trust?” Jiseok rolls his eyes as if Jimin is boring him to death and Jimin starts getting up because there’s no way he will be subject to this madness. 

“Jimin, you shouldn’t let him take advantage of you. He’s so fucking old, how can you not see it he’s using you for–” 

Jimin stands up, ready to leave and searching for Tiyeon to say goodbye. “God, you have no idea what you’re talking about and I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with your bullshit anymore–” 

“He’s not even here with you. You know I’m right–” Jiseok says and Jimin can’t listen any more, but before he goes away he bends down, looking straight into his eyes. 

“He made me come more time in one night that you ever did in approximately five hundred and fifty days–” 

“Hey–” a voice growl low in Jimin’s ear, an arm closing around Jimin’s waist, pulling him closer, taking his breath away. “Sorry for being late, I got stuck in a meeting,” Yoongi says out loud, bending down to leave a kiss on his temple. The touch linger and Jimin feels on fire. 

He pulls away an inch to meet Yoongi’s eyes, the older man wink at him and Jimin shouldn’t feel as happy as he does. “I told you you didn’t have to come,” Jimin says to him as he brings a hand to Yoongi’s chest. He doesn’t cross his boundaries to kiss him again, not even in his cheek like he did before.

“Really?” An annoying voice comes from the side and Jimin rolls his eyes. Jimin looks down and gaze at Jiseok. “Jimin I’m really worried about y—“

“You’re right—“ Yoongi stops him, “You’re such a good person Jiseok, and such a loving partner and friend. So much that you don’t want anyone trying to take advantage of Jimin’s trust, right?” Yoongi says and, at least, Jiseok has the shame of looking down, his cheeks and neck red. 

How did Jimin ever get to stay with him for as long as he did? God, he deserved a price. “You’d hate the idea of him being with someone dishonest. I get it, but you have nothing to worry about,” Yoongi finishes and Jiseok gets up from his seat, as if he wanted to leave. 

He gets closer to Jimin, instead, and Jimin feels Yoongi pulling him closer to his firm body. “You shouldn’t trust someone like him—“ 

“Jiseok, I think I’ve already ticked my incompetence in choosing partners. Why stop now?” Jimin says and then he adds, “If you have more of your concerns feel free to knock on my door, you’ll find us there.” 

Jimin says that and takes Yoongi hands, his wrist actually because he doesn’t expect Yoongi to wrap

his finger around Jimin. But he does and it’s nice, calluses finger closings around his. 

The second they are out of sight of the whole pub, Jimin explodes in a fit of laughter and Yoongi’s shoulders shake visibly. “That was amazing timing,” Jimin says to him. 

“And that was an insane defense on my wounded soul,” Yoongi says and Jimin realizes that Yoongi must have heard everything, or at least most, of what Jiseok told him. That fucking asshole. 

“You liked it?” 

Yoongi nods, “Especially the part where you told him, wait how it was? That I made you come more time in one night-“

“Than he ever did in our entire relationship,” Jimin says and meets Yoongi’s eyes, almost challenging. “You’re telling me I should take back my statement? You look like someone capable of that,” Jimin continues and then add as they start walking, “More experience in life must give you some advantages, some trick up your sleeve—“ 

“Fucking brat,” Yoongi says, “But you won’t find out,” Yoongi says serious and Jimin, unfortunately, knows.

“You’re such a party pooper,” Jimin jokes, keeping his tone light and playful. He hopes for a good night, he thinks Yoongi might want that too, but he’s been adamant that he can’t do that to Jimin, someone so young. 

So they walk back home to Jimin’s apartment and on their way back there’s just so much talking and laughing that Jimin almost feel drunk on it. He knows he’s not, he might have drunk a bit at the pub but he feel good, happy and light. 

“Thank you for coming, even though you didn’t need to,” Jimin says, “Or you just wanted me to offer lunch to you again?” Jimin jokes and Yoongi shakes his head, amused. 

“Even if I wanted to, I have a flight in the morning,” Yoongi says and Jimin remembers something about it. He might have mentioned it before. “But isn’t it wiser if I stay with you?” Yoongi says and Jimin tilts his head, waiting for Yoongi to elaborate. “You told Jiseok he could find us both here if he wanted to and I deem him idiotic enough to knock for real—“ he explains, his hand in his pocket like it’s another business day. 

Jimin laughs but he nods, they get to his floor in a heartbeat and Jimin makes sure to bring his pillow to the couch. “What are you doing?” 

“I’m giving you my bed?” Jimin says and it comes out more like a question, unsure by Yoongi’s skepticism. 

Yoongi frowns, “I’ll take the couch,” he says and the tone he says seems almost final. 

Jimin shakes his head, “I can’t let you sleep there, I mean it’s uncomfortable and and it’a a two person couch at max–” 

“It’ll be perfect, I slept in worse condition,” Yoongi says and Jimin stops him as he tries to sit down. “Let me win this, please,” Yoongi says and Jimin shives as he feels fingers gracing the skin of his arms. It’s an innocent touch but it causes an explosion inside of him. And a realization: Jimin wants this man. 

He looks up, they are close, closer than they have ever been, “Should I?”

“I wouldn’t be able to sleep at all even I knew you’d be sleeping on the couch, in your home–” 

“We could not be sleeping at all,” Jimin says, trying to shoot his shot and maybe it’s too soon. Maybe Jimin should have assessed the timing better because Yoongi recoils back, putting distance between them. 

His jaw is locked in, and the somber look in his eyes gets replaced for a serious one. “No, that won’t be happening,” Yoongi says and Jimin waves his hand to dismiss him. “Jimin, you know that–” 

“Yeah, yeah–” Jimin says, yawking, pretending he doesn’t care. “I’m an infant who doesn’t know what he wants. I’ll go take a shower, fix yourself as you please,” Jimin says, gesturing to the house. 

And Jimin has to give Yoongi that: he’s stubborn and resolute and adamant about the fact that the can’t fuck Jimin. Which is absurd because Jimin is an adult and he knows how to make conscious choices. And Yoongi is one of those. 

Jimin wants him, he knows that they could be having a good time. He doesn’t look more than that. 

He showers and it doesn’t take him a long time to get ready for bed, he leaves his hair damp and opts for an easy sleeping attire– underwear and a loosy, oversized t-shirt. It’s winter outside but honestly Jimin doesn’t care. He is feeling quite hot right now. 

He leaves the bathroom and walks in the kitchen, which is an open space connected to the living room. Jimin can hear Yoongi sighting but he doesn’t do anything, he doesn’t even address Jimin. Jimin walks to the sink, his arms reaching up to retrieve a glass of water. He can feel his shirt thickening his side. 

“You want a glass of water?” Jimin asks Yoongi as he brings the glass to his lips, he turns around and leans on the counter. With his other free hand Jimin takes something out of a drawer. Yoongi’s eyes are set on him, dark and liquid and Jimin know that he wants him, too. 

“Jimin,” Yoongi’s voice is low and hard, “Put that back, I already told you–” 

Jimin plays innocent, taking in his hand the bottle of lube he and Taehyung leave in the kitchen drawer for emergencies. “I know, my comprehension skills are all set. You’re the one more leaning toward senile–” 

“You fucking brat.” 

“This is for me. If you won’t give me a good night, I understand your reasons even if I don’t like them, I’ll do it myself. Am I allowed to masturbate or you want to have a say on that, too?” Jimin says as Yoongi gets up from the couch, it takes Jimin’s breath away, seeing Yoongi taking step after step, coming closer. 

Yoongi stops when he’s close to Jimin, but he couldn’t definitely get closer. If Jimin raises his arms, he would be able to touch him. “I can’t take advantage of you, not like this.” Yoongi start and Jimin rolls his eyes, “Jimin you’ve just been cheated on, you’re doing this only because he want to revenge that and maybe because you’re feel grateful that I’d help you but I don’t need any of that–” 

Jimin scoff, “Wow, did I ever say all of that?” Jimin takes Yoongi's silence as one of his wins, “What if I wanted to, anyway? What if I wanted to show you my gratitude like that? What if I wanted an insanely good night of great sex just because I’m pissed off about what happened?” Jimin continues and Yoongi’s fist clenches by his side, but still he doesn’t allow himself to touch Jimin. 

“I’m an adult, and I’m making the conscious choice of wanting to have sex, be it with you or without you,” Jimin says as he takes the bottle on lube in his hand. He walks past Yoongi, making sure not to touch him. 

Then Jimin stops in his tracks and turns around, Yoongi has been following every movement with his eyes. “I don’t get why you’re doing this,” Jimin says then, his voice lower than ever. 

“Doing what?” 

“Purposefully denying that you want me, too,” Jimin points out and Yoongi’s eyes darken. 

“I don’t want you,” Yoongi lies and Jimin scoffs, leaning against the side of his door. 

“A part of you definitely does,” Jimin says, his eyes lowering down to Yoongi’s underbelt. “It’s been like that since I first suggested that you can have sex with me,” Jimin says and Yoongi’s jaw sets and looks away. He breathes in and Jimin would appreciates, really, the trying to keep control. Expect that he really doesn’t, not right now. 

“I can’t just do as I’d like to–” Yoongi says, his voice something Jimin has never heard before, gravel, heavy. 

“You can, you just don’t want to. You cay say it if you don’t like me or think I’m not smart or sexy enough–” 

And if Jimin knew that would do the trick maybe he could have tries sooner because suddenly he’s caged against his door and Yoongi’s body, Yoongi’s legs between his and low murmurs, that travel to Jimin’s length, whispered in his ear. “Don’t ever say shit like that again,” Yoongi says and Jimin doesn’t even fight the moan that leaves his mouth when he feels Yoongi’s hand spreading his leg more. “You’re gorgeous, Jimin, and I hate that you are the smartest and most beautiful person I’ve ever met–” he says and Jimin closes his eyes at the words. 

“Then have me,” Jimin whispers but Yoongi shakes his head, even his hand finds its way past Jimin’s underwear. Jimin should feel shy to let Yoongi see how affected he feels, how wet his length is already but he can’t be bothered with it. Not when Yoongi’s big hand wraps around him. 

“I can’t have you, but I can give you this–” Yoongi says as he maneuvers them both so that he can lay Jimin down on the bed, his wrist flicking the right way, making Jimin squirm. “I can give you what no one has been able to, right?” he whispers as he leaves open mouthed kisses on Jimin’s throat. 

Jimin cards his finger through his hair, pulling Yoongi up but the man is stronger and doesn’t do as Jimin wishes, he doesn’t let Jimin press his mouth to his. Instead, “So fucking hot,” Yoongi says as he removes Jimin’s shirt, leaving kisses on his chest, his tongue flat against his nipple make Jimin arche more into him. 

Yoongi’s hand doesn’t stop his motion and Jimin can’t believe the hard pull he feel at the bottom of his stomach already, he wants to come. He wants to come desperately, “Hyung– oh my–” he tries but he’s cut off by a moan and Jimin sees white, there’s nothing in his mind than blinding pleasure. 

When Yoongi takes Jimin into his mouth there’s something forbidden that makes Jimin’s head spin, maybe it’s just how many times Yoongi reminded him that they shouldn’t be doing this. But this is the best head Jimin has ever gotten and they should definitely keep going. 

His finger pulls Yoongi’s hair when the man takes him in, swallowing and sending pleasure up to Jimin’s spine. “Yoongi- please, please just–” 

“Look at me when I make you come,” Yoongi says, orders, and it’s sudden the way Jimin can’t hold it anymore, how Yoongi doesn’t bother telling him to keep quiet, how the grin in his face makes Jimin’s heart skip several beats. 

And Jimin does look at Yoongi, he let their eyes meet and wishes he could forget the way Yoongi’s eyes are dark, pupil blown and his lips so fucking red. Yoongi milks Jimin through his orgasm and pulls away only when Jimin’s legs won't stop shaking. He sits on the side of the bed with a grin on his face, fixing Jimin underwear back in place. Jimin feels like he could pass out any minute, never in his life he had the chance to experience such an intense orgasm, so sudden and so quick. He always had to work hard, get in the right headspace and he thought he had good partners by his side. 

Jimin has always liked sex, and he actively seeked it when he could. But this– 

“Let me do you,” Jimin says as he tries to pull himself up. Yoongi shakes his head, as he brings his hand to tack a rebel strand of Jimin’s hair behind his ear. “Hyung, you clearly need–” 

“I need you to let me have this,” Yoongi whispers as his finger starts massaging Jimin’s head, getting through his head and it’s relaxing. Jimin would love to protest but he knows that it won’t get him far, not now. So he scoots a bit, making room for Yoongi who lay down with him. 

Jimin rests on his shoulder, fitting perfectly by Yoongi’s side and the older man closes him into a tight embrace. Jimin’s eyes flatter close when he feels Yoongi’s lips on the crow of his head, leaving the faintest kiss on it. “Goodnight, Jiminie.” 

The next morning, it doesn’t surprise Jimin to wake to an empty bed. 

present day

Jimin can’t seem to be able to fall back asleep, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts about his last conversation with Yoongi. He just wishes that the man wouldn’t have disappeared from his life, and that he would have been honest with him. 

There was no need to lie, or well… omit what Jimin found out anyway. 

Since he can’t seem to go back to sleep, he gets changed into his bathing suit and goes for a swim in the pool. The house is silent, except for maybe some noises coming from the kitchen, maybe Rebecca and her staff are already getting started on breakfast. It’s around 6am, it makes sense. 

No one is around except Jimin and he likes it, he enjoys the not so heavy heat and the shy ray of sunshine that allows him to spend time in the big pool, he tries to swim his frustration out just like he did yesterday and it does help a little. Jimin should just get over it. 

Fuck. He knows he tries and fails miserably, every single time. There’s something about Yoongi that altered his body and mind chemistry without repair, and Jimin has just decided that dopamine is his least favorite thing right now. He despises it. He’ll start writing a petition to erase it from the Earth. Somehow.

Maybe he can PhD exactly that. 

Anyway, Jimin should step back, he should just move on for good because he can’t– 

As he exit the pool, he finds a big towel and his book rested on a sunbed. Jimin looks around but there’s no one and his heart jumps in his chest when he realizes that Yoongi kept his book, and progressed with the reading.  

And it shouldn’t make him feel like this, like Jimin matters in his life because the last year was a clear indication that Jimin does not. It was so easy for him, despite everything that Yoongi might say, to remove him from his life but then he goes and does shit like this– “I hate you,” Jimin whispers to no one as he unfold the towel, realizing that it’s Yoongi’s and settles on it to read the book. “I hate you so much,”Jimin says as he notices that Yoongi left small notes on the side of the pages. 

He reads more than Jimin did and as he progresses he finds small annotations– problematic when something about their attraction is written, or inappropriate when the older protagonist does anything at all toward the younger one–, cute small doodles and happy faces :) whenever the main male character reminds the female, younger, character of their age and generational gap. 

Jimin hates that, despite everything, it steals smiles from him. 

This is just so- them. And it makes Jimin miss what they have even more. And it’s going to stay buried within him that Jimin starts the book again, only to read everything that has been written and that he might have missed. 

He only goes back to his room to wash when the house starts waking up and the sweet smell of toasted bread and butter reaches him. It doesn’t take him much to walk the stairs downstairs and find the long rectangular table in the living room embellished with every possible delicious thing Italian breakfast has to offer– he sees milk, juice and cold jugs of tea. 

Jimin might be in even as he looks over all the homemade biscuits, and– “Oh my god is that homemade pie with plums marmalade?” Jimin as he drops down in the chair closes to the end of the table. The head seat is empty but maybe Jimin should have seated himself between two people– 

“It’s crostata,” Yoongi’s voice is close, too close and when Jimin turns around he finds him fixing himself right in the seat Jimin thought would be left empty. How wrong of him. “Similar to our pie, I guess but it’s still very different,” Yoongi explains and Jimin locks eyes with him. He shouldn’t have because Yoongi looks good, hair dump from–

“Did you go for a run?” Jimin asks because he already knows the answer. 

Yoongi nods as he pours himself some black coffee and some cold tea to Jimin. 

“Does it surprise you? He can’t relax a day in his life,” Hoseok’s voice comes from the side and he steal the jug of black coffee from Yoongi’s hand. But it actually doesn’t: Jimin knows that Yoongi loves moving his body, that he loves exercising and that it helps when he’s stressed. Why is he thought? 

Yoongi meet Jimin’s worried eyes, and he shake his head. “I don’t think he’s ever been thought what relaxing entitled, I’m sure he think it’s like preparing for a marathon while closing the most important deal of our life–” 

“You’re describing what sounds like any normal day of my life. Are you telling me yours sounds better?” Yoongi asks directly to Hoseok, who’s already dressed for the beach, it seems. He has sunglasses over his head and an oversized sleeveless shirt over a bathing suit. “Are you slacking on work?” 

Hoseok pretends to faint, and it makes Jimin giggle. Taehyung sits next to him, leaving a kiss on his cheek, “Good morning,” he says to the table but mostly to Jimin, “Why is Hoseokie pretending to be dead?” 

“To avoid Yoongi’s wrath,” Jimin explains, “Apparently someone has been slacking at work,”  he adds and Hoseok points his finger accusingly at him and then at Yoongi. 

“His standard of good work is unreachable,” Hoseok says and Jeongguk, who has been enjoying the view for a while, snicker. “And he’s overworking this little one, too. He’s tainting and ruining our youth,” Hoseok says. 

It’s supposed to be a joke, Jimin knows that it’s what it is but it leaves a bad aftertaste in his mouth. “Maybe they work overtime because you don’t do your part,” Taehyung says, his hand on Jimin’s tight. I’m on your side. 

“I don’t like how this conversation is going,” Hoseok laments and Jihyun, Harin and Haeun snicker. They were the first to get ready and Jimin thinks he missed some sort of memo because he can see a bathing suit underneath all their nice dresses. 

But as Namjoon and Seokjin approach the table with Yujin, the conversation moves easily and Rebecca comes to greet them, “Buongiorno,” she says and Jimin stops following her as her Italian progresses into more difficult words than that, Yoongi translates to the whole table. 

She leaves with a curt nod but soon stops when Yoongi calls her back, he whispers something to her that seems a lot like granita but Jimin has no idea if he has even heard right. She smiles warmly at him before leaving. “What did you ask her?” 

“We need to work on your patience, brat,” Yoongi says and Jimin’s heart somersault at hearing it. It shouldn’t. “You’ll find out soon,” Yoongi continues and then leaves Jimin waiting for something to happen. 

Fortunately it doesn’t take much time because Rebecca comes back bearing what Jimin will soon discover to be his new obsession, food made by god, heavenly nectar, “What is this?” he asks skeptically, “You asked her to bring me flavored shaved ice for breakfast? Do you hate me?” Jimin asks out loud and the whole table laughs at his dramatic antics. 

Yoongi rolls his eyes and Jihyun speaks, “We had it yesterday, now we want to see your reaction,” he says and Jimin feels too many eyes on him.

“I feel like you’re all setting me up to fail. If I don’t like it?” 

“Then you don’t like it. More for us,” Seokjin says, winking at him but as he speaks he shreds a piece of a big boob looking bread and spreads the same granita Jimin has on it and gives it to Yujin, who eats it immediately. “I mean it’s Yujin approved-” 

“Your child was about to eat soil If I didn’t stop her,” Yoongi pointed out and it made Jimin giggle. 

Namjoon takes a piece of chocolate cake, “It’s curiosity, leave her be. Not everyone where born in a suit,” he says and Yoongi flips him off with his middle finger. 

Jimin uses the distraction to mimic what Seokjin was doing and he loves feeling how warm and soft the bread – “It’s brioche,” Taehyung whispers to him– is on his finger, so different from the harsh cold of the pistacchio granita. Jimin brings it to his mouth and it’s life changing. 

“Oh my god,” he says. No, he’s sure he moaned. “Oh my god, this is incredible. My new favorite thing. How do Italians feel about me having it for lunch and dinner, too?” Jimin asks Yoongi, “Tell me there’s no police about it,” he pleads and Yoongi shakes his head. 

“You could, I don’t think they would mind. But there’s something else I want to let you try, you’ll love it–” 

“Are you trying to swoon me with food?” Jimin jokes without bothering to whisper. The life at the table seems tranquil and no one bothers to look at him. “I’m not easily swooned but this might be the right path,” Jimin continues and Yoongi looks– he looks younger, hair wavy and long, his eyes and demeanour relaxed. 

“Brat,” Yoongi says, mostly to himself, “But yeah, it’s food. We had that yesterday as well for lunch–” 

“So you’re saying I’ve missed all the good stuff? So I am allowed to have them whenever I want throughout the day,” Jimin says as he keeps eating his breakfast, his new favorite thing, the thing he doesn’t know how he will live without. 

Yoongi chuckles, amused. He doesn’t say much after that, resuming eating his own breakfast, too. 

Slowly people around the table start getting up, “I think I’ve missed the memo about today’s activity,” Jimin says to his brother, “What’s the plan?” 

“No schedule,” he says, “Our plan is: beach. But everyone is free to do as they want,” Jihyun continues, “I wrote on that board the only scheduled activity that we’d love to do together,” he continues as he points to a black board where his brother’s handwriting is showing in white chalk. 

1. pizza night!!!
2. pasta making lesson !!!!
3. pre-wedding (❤️) rehearsal lunch
4. wedding day 

Jimin can’t help but smile because those exclamation marks and the little heart is everything to him. “So you’re more excited for pasta making than your wedding?” 

Jihyun sighs, “That would be Harin’s doing,” he says but the way the words leave his mouth is endeared and so eternally and helplessly in love. 

Jimin chuckles, then he focuses back on the people around the table. Taehyung rests his head on his shoulder, “So, I’m gathering you’re abandoning me for some boring time at the beach?” 

“I’m sure Jeongguk will entertain you enough to not have you notice my absence, my dear,” Jimin says and Jeongguk shakes his head, amused. 

He’s wearing a tank top, showing his chest and arms tattoo. Jimin remember when he was tattoo-free, and slowly, design after design, he started decorating his body in the best possible way. It suits him, along with the lip piercing he shows. “What are you doing, if not the beach?” Yoongi asks him and Jimin turns to look at him. 

“I was thinking of going out exploring, I really want to visit the city and I can’t wait to see the valle dei templi, I don’t if I said it correctly–” 

“You did,” Yoongi says, turning his phone upside down, ignoring a call that Jimin is sure he should probably get. 

“I’ll get going,” Taehyung says as he gets up and takes Jeongguk’s hand in his. They leave and Jimin and Yoongi go back to talking. “See you later,” his boyfriend says and Jimin smiles at them both. 

“No beach for you?” Jimin asks him and Yoongi nods, “Don’t tell me you wanted to stay in and work,” Jimin points a finger at him and Yoongi’s is already an answer enough.

“Of course, I don’t wanna risk bankruptcy for a day of slack–” 

“I’m sure you’ll be fine if you stop working for day, the world will keep spinning and the sun setting and rising according to nature’s law,” Jimin says as he try to speak casually to Yoongi, “You could come with me, we could go explore the city–” he says and he tries to study Yoongi’s face, looking for any hint of discomfort. But the man is smiling and he’s getting up from the table, pocketing his phone. 

“Do you need time to get changed?” Yoongi asks him and Jimin has to stop himself from smiling wide, or maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he shows Yoongi just how happy it makes me that he decided to spend time with Jimin, together and incredibly alone. 

Jimin shakes his head, “I’m all set, we can go whenever you want,” he says as he takes Yoongi’s hand, helping him get up from the table. 

They walk outside, Jimin tugging along close to Yoongi. Their arms brush against each other, “But how are we going to–” Jimin says but soon stops when Yoongi points to a yellow dot in the distance. “Oh my god, what is that?” 

“That, that you say in such disdain is what will bring you to your desired destination,” Yoongi says and Jimin pushes him lightly away from him. “It’s the rental car Rebecca got us for the duration of our stay.”

“It’s so yellow–” Jimin point out, as they get closer to the Fiat Panda parked a few feet away. “Yujin would love this, maybe it’s growing on me too. It’s definitely charming–” 

“Is that the key?!” Jimin asks as Yoongi dangle the key in front of him, “Why are those yellow as well?” 

Yoongi laugh, his shoulders shaking. Jimin’s feel his heart squeeze in his chest, “Your surprise to the color yellow astonish me,” 

“No, I mean– I love this, it’s just I wasn’t expecting it  to be all yellow and–” 

“Hey, you guys! Wait–” It's Haeun’s voice calling for them and Jimin feels his body freeze and he doesn’t turn around, at least not immediately. His eyes shoot to Yoongi, to how the relax in his shoulder leaves in favor of stiffness. 

Maybe it’s not what Jimin thinks, maybe they just forgot something and she wants to give it to them. Maybe it’s nothing, maybe it’s– “Are you going to the city?” she asks and Jimin has to turn around, but not before notarizing how tight Yoongi’s jaw is clenching. 

Jimin puts on his largest smile, she doesn’t deserve his pettiness. She did nothing wrong to him, “Yes, we were about to leave. You need anything?” he asks and she grins, pointing to the car. 

“I’m coming with you, I don’t feel like spending the day at the beach today,” she says, smiling brightly and wide. She’s so happy to come, “I was thinking about going alone but it’ll be so much better sharing the experience with you!” she says as he enthusiastically moves to sit in the passenger seat. 

Jimin is left standing close to the car, relegated to the back seat. It’s unnerving and frustrating but there’s nothing much he can do. He hates that it seems like he’s the young kid of a couple, going on vacation with mom and dad. He feels like the kid Yoongi likes to remember Jimin could be to him. 

And he tries to distract himself, ignoring Haeun’s and Yoongi’s laugh about something that Jimin does not understand about their job. It’s isolating in a way, and he look out of the window for most part of the ride, enjoying the view as best as he can– “Jimin, I couldn’t help but notice, and forgive me if I’m nosy–” 

“I like nosy people, I think gossip is the foundation of any country–” 

“God, I like him so much–” She says to Yoongi and Jimin can’t help but smile, looking at Yoongi’s eyes through the rearview mirror. “But yeah, how come you don’t have a plus one? Someone brilliant, cute and young as you, I don’t get how you’re not stealing hearts–” 

Jimin’s eyes shoot up again, meeting Yoongi’s. His knuckles turn white on the steering wheel, “It’s complicated?” Jimin starts, “I could have a plus one, but he’s a stubborn being and we haven’t really been talking much of late,” he explains and Haeun invites him to talk more. 

She’s beautiful and so casual, with long black hair and sweet eyes. She’s wearing the most beautiful white dresses and it looks splendid on her, Jimin can understand why Yoongi dated her. “He– he wanted to date someone else and I can understand why, I truly do— this other person is fun, beautiful and I know on paper matches everything he needs-“ he shared and he thinks that, he really does. 

And Yoongi doesn’t look at him as he says those things, he looks ahead of him on the road but Jimin knows he’s listening by the way his face turned serious, his eyes focused and heavy. 

“You know, everyone says you’re very mature for you age and I can definitely see why-“

That makes Jimin laugh, a dry, almost exhausted one. “Thank you, not everybody thinks that.” He leans back into his seat, his elbows on the rolled down window car. 

“Then they're dumb and idiotic,” Haeun says and Jimin looks up, this time meeting eyes with Yoongi. 

Jimin doesn’t say anything, instead he decides to have mercy on Yoongi. Maybe. “So, mommy and daddy can you turn up the music, it’s getting boring in the back—“ 

“Don’t ever say that again—“ Yoongi threatens him as Haeun laughs out loud, and it’s captivating. Jimin can’t help but mirror her and enjoy Yoongi’s shocked face. 

“Or what?” 

“Or I’ll leave you in the side of the road—“” 

“Then do it,” Jimin pushes him and one thing Jimin can be proud of is that he was always able to point out Yoongi’s bullshit. This is the easiest level, beginner. It’s the easy easy version of the game. Jimin dealt, is dealing, with worse bullshit from him. 

Yoongi, of course, doesn’t. “Fucking manace,” he says but turns up the volume of the radio. It’s an Italian song Jimin obviously doesn’t know. 

“What does the song say?” 

“You know, someone once says to me that this fancy new technology called google exists—“ 

Haeun’s hand closes around Yoongi’s arm, “Oppa, he was right that time,” she says giggling and Jimin feels like puking, maybe being left on the side of the road under a stroke induced heat is not such a bad idea. 

“Yeah, but as you like to remind every time new generation loves the easy way so please, what’s better to have you do the work for me?” Jimin says, batting his eyelashes prettily at him. 

Yoongi takes a moment, then he sighs. “The others, they don’t look at you the way I do. Even if you do miss them, you don’t miss them like you miss me–” Yoongi starts translating and his voice quivers, Jimin is sure he hears that right because by now he knows every single shadow in it. 

Yoongi looks up, through the mirror he meets Jimin’s eyes and he wishes he hadn’t because Jimin reads in something that Yoongi doesn’t want to give him. “And then?” Jimin asks, because he never said he’s sane about this. He never said that he’ll try not to make it hurt. 

At least, that way, Jimin has something from Yoongi. 

“There’s a red string linking us, it can’t be seen but it’s there–” Yoongi continues and Jimin wants to die, he feels sick to the stomach because what were the chances of the song being so them. What were the odds that an Italian singer could understand Jimin so well?

“And I swear, I can’t take it anymore not having you with me. But look at us now, what we’ve become from stranger to lover–” Yoongi says then, as the song slowly fades, “From lover to stranger–” he says and Jimin needs this to stop because he feels tears at the back of his eyes. 

He avoids Yoongi’s eyes. Jimin has to admit to himself that he’s not as strong as he likes to think, sometimes. “Wow, that’s–” he says, trying to brace himself, to get control over his emotions. “That’s actually really good. Do we know what the singer is called?” 

“I tracked it and it says Alfa–” Haeun says and that has Jimin getting closer to look at her phone. “He’s really young and apparently making its way in the Italian music scene.” 

“I love that he’s called like an alpha particle or like a fanfiction sub-gender,” Jimin points out but neither Yoongi or Haeun react to that. “Really? I forget that not everyone likes chemistry or fun,” he says to them. Yoongi doesn’t laugh but he can’t seem to look away from Jimin. 

The ride to the place it’s not long, thankfully and when they get there Jimin is left speechless. The place is something out of a art history book, ancient and majestic. Jimin thought it was going to be beautiful but he was not ready to have his mind blown away like this. Even from outside, the view is incredible. 

“I’ll go make the tickets,” Yoongi say as Jimin and Haeun waits back. They don’t stop him, probably both knowing that it will be useless to argue with him about it. 

“I’m sorry,” Haeun says as Yoongi is out of reach. 

“About what?” Jimin asks and Haeun pushes her sunglasses up hear head. She looks incredible, almost like a goddess, fitting for the place. 

“I didn’t really think when I joined you and it must be weird for you, to be around two exes–” she says and why does she have to be so kind and thoughtful? 

“Oh,” Jimin tries because in his mind he was feeling discomfort for a whole different reason. “Don’t worry about it, you didn’t make it weird or anything like that but,” Jimin stops for a second, searching with his eyes for Yoongi’s silhouette. 

Then he remember what Haeun said the previous day. “Would you like to be left alone with him?” he asks even though he has to force his voice out. 

She shakes her head, “I would never ask you to wonder alone–” 

“Here’s your ticket–” Yoongi says, interrupting their conversation. He comes bearing three ticket and he gives Jimin one, “This is specific for you, you paid less,” he explain and Jimin doesn’t understand why but Yoongi doesn’t leave him in doubt for long. “Someone here got the discount since he’s between 18 and 25 years old.” 

The irony, the constant reminder of his age, of their gap. “Well, you should be happy I lessen the total,” Jimin says as he takes his ticket and starts walking toward the entrance. He’s happy to see that Yoongi got them the entrance to the museum as well, Jimin didn’t want to miss it. “The advantage to bring youth around,” he says and turns briefly around to see Yoongi shaking his head, Haeun smiling at him.

They start their visit and a comfortable chatter set between the three of them, Jimin participate when it feel like he has something to tell but most of the time he just enjoys the view, taking photos of what he likes– no one needs to know that he took a snap of Yoongi looking at a ruin, entranced by the fact that it still stand today. “This is beautiful, and like it makes you think– we hardly know how to build things that last and here there are construction from before Christ was born.” 

Jimin stand by his side as they look out to the big temple in front of them, he brings a hand up to shadow his eyes from the sun. He forgot to take his sunglasses with him. “Honey, you’re architectonic nerdy side is showing,” he says playfully and Yoongi pinches his side, “But don’t stop on my account–” he says but it’s Jimin who stops when Yoongi turns around to look at him. The man puts his sunglasses up and Jimin raises his hand. “It’s weirdly interesting,” Jimin says as he grabs them and set them on his nose. Finally, the world is of a nice brownish gold filter. 

“I was using them,” Yoongi points out but makes no move to take them back. 

“And now I am, you’re not so observant hyung,” Jimin says and he can hear Haeun snicker close to them. 

They keep walking through the outdoor path, they view five temples and each and every single one of them takes Jimin’s breath away impossibly so. When they get to the museum part, Jimin intercept Haeun’s eyes and wink at her. 

She tilts her head confused but she will understand soon enough. They walk around and Jimin browses quickly through some room that interests him less, and in no time he has lost both Yoongi and Haeun. 

It goes against his interest but Jimin can’t keep fighting a battle he’s destined to lose. Yoongi won’t ever get over their age difference and Jimin should actively try to do something about it, for his own good. 

And Haeun is nice, Jimin would love to hate her but he just can’t. She’s done nothing to him and the least Jimin can do is give her time alone with Yoongi to talk it out. 

Jimin keeps wondering about the site for a while, when his phone vibrates in his pocket he takes it out and hold his breath. 

Yoon 

where are you?

Jimin

i might have left?

you were slow 

have fun! 

Yoon

send me your location

we’ll come to you

you don’t know the language

Jimin

but i know how to navigate google

:p

see you at the villa

Yoongi tries to call him, but Jimin pockets his phone and ignores it. He doesn’t need a babysitter, he can and wants to wander around the city alone. It’s something Jimin enjoys quite a lot and it gives him the time he needs to rearrange his thoughts and how to deal with the heartbreak he’s harboring. 

When he leaves the museum, Jimin calls for a taxi– which he has to wait for quite a lot because he soon discovers that there aren’t as many and that ubering is still not quite as common in Italy. Thankfully a sweet couple explain that to him and Jimin manages to be patient. 

He asks the driver to leave him close to the city center and from there Jimin just walks around and explores, he stops for lunch in a bar where saw someone else having granita and he asks exactly for that, this time coffee flavored. 

It’s so good, Jimin might get addicted. 

The heat is scorching but Jimin doesn’t mind, he ignores the sweat ricocheting down his back in favor of all the beautiful things he’s looking at. He sends some photos to Taehyung, who answers back with pictures of him and Jeongguk laying blissfully on the beach or in the crystal clear water. 

When it’s mid afternoon Jimin stops for a quick snack, he sees someone eating gelato inside the same brioche he used for the granita and he has to try it. He snaps a photo of that as well and sends it to his best friend. 

It’s only when it’s almost time for the sun to set that Jimin decides that he wants to go back, but not to the villa. He makes sure to call a taxi in time and when he goes back to the Valle dei Templi he gets his breath taken away again, but differently. 

The temples with the tangerine hues of the disappearing sun are splendid and it makes Jimin feel like he’s actually back in time. He pays a reduced-price ticket again and goes for another stroll. As the light disappears Jimin feels emotional, he’s happy he came back here. 

As he walks around, looking for the exit since he’s starting to feel also quite hungry, Jimin’s phone vibrates and it’s Jihyun calling. This time Jimin answers. 

“Hey you,” Jimin says and there’s a moment of silence on the other side. “Is something happened?” Jimin asks after receiving no answer. 

“Oh, no– sorry! I couldn’t hear you right. When are you coming home?” 

Jimin stops in his tracks, “Wait, did I go back in time? Am I a child living with you?” he jokes and his tone is light and playful. 

Jihyung laughs, “How I wish,” his brother says, “But no, I’m strictly calling because my soon to be wife is hungry and if you don’t come home soon enough for dinner, she will have my head as a cup for gelato–” 

“So, you’re calling me to save your life?” 

“Mostly, yes,” Jihyung says and Jimin has to laugh out loud because he loves and has missed his brother so freaking much. “I’m coming home right now, give me twentish minute? Kinda? Can my sister-in-law resist?” 

“Only because you’re the best and I’d sell your brother to save your life!” Jimin hears in the distance and it makes him chuckle. “Hey–” Jihyun says on the other line but then Jimin interrupts him– 

“You’d sell yourself too to save my life, so don’t even try,” he says and the silence on the other side makes a smile curve up on Jimin’s lips. 

“I hate you both.” 

“How fortunate that you’re stuck with us for the rest of your life, then–” Jimin says and he can hear Haring laughing throughout the other side of the phone. “Anyway I have to call a taxi, I’ll be there soon. Byebye.” 

Jimin ends the call then and as he tries to book for a taxi, the app keeps logging him out of it. “Oh come on,” Jimin swears out loud but that’s not going to help him find a taxi any better. He tries to call the number he finds online but no one answers and it’s only in Italian, and google can’t really help him with that. “How can they live like this– I swear–” 

“Do you need any help?” a voice startles Jimin and he looks behind him and sees a guy, probably around his age. 

“Oh, I’m good– Actually, yes, I do. What problem does your country have with taxis?” 

The guy, instead of looking offended, chuckles, “What problem does my country not have?” he says and it makes Jimin smile. “Let me see what I can do. Can I?” he says as he gestures to Jimin’s phone. 

He gives it to him, Jimin is usually very trusting but he’s not dumb or stupid. He’s not one to put himself into a dangerous situation and the uniform the guy wears tells him that he works at Valle dei Templi and Jimin thinks he can trust him. “I really need to go back home, they are waiting for me and I need to be there quick or my sister-in-law will go crazy–” Jimin explain and Harin will forgive him for setting her up like that. 

The guy, who’s name tag reads Giuseppe, hums and frowns. “Oh no, don’t do that.” 

“Do what?” 

“Frowning, you’re confused. It means no good–” 

Giuseppe smiles, he wears his hair short, cut to the side and he has a blinding smile. “You’re good…”

“Jimin,” he says as Giuseppe extends his hand and Jimin shakes it. “Giuseppe, right?” 

He nods and doesn’t question how Jimin knows, he’s probably aware that he’s still in his uniform. “Okay, Jimin, listen there are two things I can offer you: one is I drive you to where you need to go, the second is you wait here forever because there’s a taxi strike and there’s no way you’ll be able to get one.” 

Jimin looks at Giuseppe, then down at his phone and he crosses his arms, “How do I know you’re not a criminal?” 

“Because we’re going to write together to one of your contacts all my information and share your location,” he says as he opens Jimin’s text app. Jimin gets closer to him and he looks for Taehyung’s contact. 

“You can write to him.” 

“Boyfriend?” 

Jimin shakes his head, “Best friend, and he won’t ask question, not until I get there anyway–”

“Okay, and now you’re going to send a voice note to my girlfriend, explaining to her how amazing I am and how good at heart her man is and why I’m gonna be late to our dinner date,” Giuseppe says and Jimin shakes his head quickly. 

“Please, don’t worry about me if you have other plans! I can look for another way,” Jimin says even if calling back his brother or even worse, the idea of calling Yoongi makes Jimin’s stomach twist. 

“If you had another way, you wouldn’t be here,” Giuseppe points out in his heavily accented english. 

Jimin sighs and accepts the phone from the man. They start walking and Jimin can’t believe how lucky he has been. Giuseppe’s girlfriend, Maria, is amazing and funny and on the phone she makes sure to reassure Jimin that it’s okay and that it's not a problem at all. 

She never speaks in Italian and Jimin doesn’t feel left out as they speak on the phone though the way back to the villa. And somehow, Jimin really does really not know how they got it there, but he’s explaining the whole wedding situation and why Jimin couldn’t call anyone to come pick him up, how he ended up wandering alone today. 

“Oh my god,” Maria says through the phone, “Jimin we have to meet. Let me offer you an aperitivo like– I need to know everything,” she says and Jimin can’t help but notice how cute is the way she rolls her r. 

“I promise to keep you updated, do you have social media?” 

“Oh no, I don’t have any. Listen, save up my number from Giuseppe’s phone and just let us know how things go please. I’m rooting for you,” she says as Giuseppe tell her that they have arrived and in approximately ten minutes he’ll be at her house. 

“Yeah, a dopo, amore,” he says and that Jimin understands, later, love and it’s the cutest thing. 

Giuseppe parks his car right at the front of the villa’s gate, where the taxi drivers first left Jimin but he makes sure Jimin walks inside safely. “And honestly, I’ve always been curious about this place, you know?” he says as he looks around the main path that leads to the house’s entrance. 

“Then we can have that aperitivo here with Maria,” Jimin says as people start gathering at the door to check on Jimin. They are still closer to the gate, than to the entrance. 

“She’ll be so happy.” 

“Thank you so much, you've been really kind to me. And extend my gratitude to Maria as well,” Jimin says as Giuseppe hugs Jimin and starts walking toward his car again. 

“Our pleasure,” he says before disappearing. “Oh wait, her number!” Giuseppe says, “If I forget she’ll kill me,” he jokes and Jimin laughs. He extends his phone and Giuseppe saves her girlfriend's contact there. 

Jimin wonders if he’ll ever see them for real, he hopes he does because he would love to. 

When Giuseppe leaves and Jimin is sure of that he turns around to walk toward the villa. Taehyung is there, cross-armed over his chest and a smug look on his face. “I’m happy I’ve witnessed that, you know who’s not happy?” 

Jimin walks past him, walking toward his room with Taehyung tailing behind him. “Should I care about who’s not?” 

Taehyung leans on the side of the door as Jimin changes quickly into something that is sweat-free, he should opt for a shower but he probably will just sweat again so he’ll save the planet by showering once before bed. “I think it’s interesting that not even your brother was that mad that you came home with a stranger.” 

“He’s probably just pissed because I didn’t answer his call and let him be his usual control freak,” Jimin says as he takes Taehyung’s arms and together they descend the stairs to join the table for dinner. “And between you and me, he has an adorable girlfriend and we should definitely meet up with them,” Jimin says and he can see Taehyung grinning. 

“I’d love to, and that is information that will be kept secret,” he says as he wink at Jimin. 

They sit together and close at the table and Jimin asks to listen to how their day at the beach went. “Look at your all golden skin,” Jimin says, “Tomorrow I’m joining you,” he says after he gathered that the plan for tomorrow is also beach for most. 

Dinner goes smoothly and Jimin enjoys the relaxed way they all seem to enjoy each other’s company. “Jiminie, I can’t believe you got time to mingle with an Italian,” Hoseok says to him, and his voice is loud and up until that moment Jimin has been so good at avoiding looking at Yoongi, who’s sitting at the opposite end of the table. 

His eyes meet Yoongi’s dark one. 

“Don’t get your hopes up, nothing scandalous happened,” Jimin jokes, trying to keep it as vague as he can. 

“You disappoint me, young man,” Hoseok jokes and Jimin winks at him, causing a fit of laughter throughout the table. Except for one person. Yoongi doesn’t laugh, but he focuses on Haeun when she asks him something. 

“I’ll make sure to use his number wisely, then,” Jimin says but his smile disappeared on Jimin’s face as a sense of void took the better of him. It doesn’t matter what he does, there’s no point in trying to make Yoongi jealous. It’s so stupid, Jimin is so stupid. 

He left them alone to try and mend things, and it looks like it might have done good. And here he is hoping that Yoongi might be mad, that he might show any kind of emotion toward Jimin. 

Thankfully the conversation topic shifts from there because Jimin knows he wouldn’t be able to hold it. He needs to make up his mind, but it’s so hard when his first thought was about the fourteen-year-older man sitting so far away from him. 

Why is it so hard for Yoongi to just accept that they could work? They would work beautifully if only he’d let go of his stupid reasoning. They know each other inside out and Jimin knows that there’s not going to be anyone that Jimin will love the way he loves Yoongi. 

The fact that he hasn’t slept with anyone ever since that night, it’s telling enough. But Jimin couldn’t help him, everybody he looked at or showed any interest in weren’t able to hold the comparison. Yoongi just kept popping in his mind, every single damn time. 

After dinner ends, Jimin offers to help Rebecca bring everything back inside. She refuses categorically but Jimin decides to ignore her and do it anyway. “Please, I love to help,” he shows her a translation on his phone and she sighs but then she pinches her cheek and lets him do as he pleases. 

Once it’s all done she gives him a chocolate biscuit and Jimin like this italian currency for hard labor. 

He’s not tired at all, but he doesn’t want to read his book either to pass time because he’s not in the mood to read Yoongi’s note. He never is but right now, he doesn’t have any energy to power through that. So he opts for a walk down at the beach, but soon stops when he notices a man on the sunbed there. 

Jimin should walk back, turn around and stop. Instead he walks ahead and sits on the sunbed close to him. Not on the same one, even if he desperately want to. “What is an old man like you doing all alone on the bitch? Thinking about the coming of death?” 

Usually, Yoongi would laugh. 

Jimin fixed himself better, his legs stretched long, the sound of the waves along with the cicadas relaxing. The moon is high in the sky but there’s a hue of light coming from the villa. “Don't do that to me ever again,” Yoongi says, voice low and vibrating.

He’s sitting on the edge of his seat and Jimin can see his back tensing. “He was just giving me a drive home–” 

“Don’t disappear from me, not like that–” Yoongi interrupts him and Jimin has to stop for a moment, to assess Yoongi’s words, to understand what he’s truly telling him. And it draws a scoff out of it. 

“You’re one to talk,” Jimin says as he sits back up, because he has the feeling this conversation is not going to be easy. Not a single one has been with Yoongi lately. 

“I’m serious Jimin.” 

“And I’m too–” Jimin starts but Yoongi talks over him and it drives Jimin crazy the way Yoongi dismisses Jimin’s hurt over what he did twelve months ago. 

“I was fucking worried okay, and you wouldn’t answer my call,” Yoongi stops and turns around, eyes bloodshot. That takes Jimin aback, he wasn’t expecting to see Yoongi like this, almost disheveled. Almost like he actually cared about him. 

And maybe that’s cruel of Jimin to think, but he has to think like that. He can’t start believing again that Yoongi cares, that Yoongi might feel the same way Jimin feels because it’s not. That is not going to happen. “You did it on purpose, why?” 

“I was okay. I am okay–” Jimin tries to speak again, to explain that nothing bad happened and that–

“How could I know that? You disappeared all day and then come back with a stranger–” 

“Whose name’s Giuseppe, so not a stranger–” 

If looks could kill, Jimin wouldn’t be alive to explain it. Yoongi’s eyes turn to slit, his mouth into a thin line and his voice is firm , strong. “Why?” 

Jimin sighs, then he stands to get up. He’s not doing this today. He’s not going to stay here when Yoongi just treats him again like he’s not an adult capable of making his own decisions, and dealing with the consequences of them. 

Yoongi stops him, fingers wrapped gently around his wrist. Jimin could easily shrug his touch off, but does he really want to? It only takes a look in his dark brown eyes, to make Jimin stop. To make Jimin reconsider everything. 

He will never be able to move on. 

“Scoot over,” Jimin says to him and he can see Yoongi’s eyes widening, his body tensing. Before he can protest, Jimin adds, “You want an explanation, I’m willing to give it to you only if you scoot over and give me something back–” Jimin says and he can see it in his face, how Yoongi is considering it. 

But, in the end, the man does. He scoot over and make room for Jimin, making room for him in his arms. They lay on the sunbed, and slowly Yoongi relaxes the more Jimin melts into him. Jimin sighs, his heart crying for how well they fit together. “You’re confusing,” Jimin whispers, his voice barely there murmurs as Yoongi’s finger move up and down his spine. 

It’s not the first time they stay like this and Jimin wishes he could go back to that night, every night. But now, he takes this. And that’s the problem, as long as Jimin is okay with taking as little as Yoongi is able to give him, after begging of him for it, he will never get over him. 

But for tonight, it’s alright. 

“What's so confusing about me? I think I’m very clear.”

Jimin shakes his head, his heartbeat louder and louder the more Yoongi’s hands keep tracing his skin. “I stay with you and you treat me like a child, I leave you with your ex-girlfriend who, by the way, you might come back with and still, you treat me like all I want to do is spite you with a pitiful revenge–” Jimin says, then he uses his hand on Yoongi’s chest as leverage, “And all I hear is stupid arguing and no thank you.” 

Like this, they are close. Their nose brushing and Jimin should just lean in, he should just do it but he knows that would mean losing Yoongi for good. He can’t do that. 

But Yoongi’s eyes lower to his lips, then to his heart and Jimin can feel the restraint, the control that the man is evoking. 

Yoongi is quiet, his eyes on him.  Jimin’s hand rises up, cupping his neck and fuck, Yoongi’s look absolutely stunning under the moonlight, vulnerability in his eyes but that only last for a brief second. So little that Jimin is not sure he saw right. Their noses brush, their exhaling becomes one, but before Jimin can do something stupid, he speaks. 

“Yes, I did it on purpose. No, not to get back at you–” Jimin says when Yoongi’s eyes narrow,  “I’m not thirteen as you like to think I am. Haeun shared with me that she wanted to talk to you and I thought I’d leave you alone,” Jimin says, “And Giuseppe was just kind enough to bring me home because there’s a taxi strike–” Jimin explain what he wanted to keep for himself, he wanted to use this to make Yoongi jealous but he should have known better. With Yoongi it just doesn’t work. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that?” 

Jimin is silent, then a grin. “Okay that might have been to piss you off, a little.” 

A moment and then a whispered chuckle, “Brat,” Yoongi’s arm closes tighter around Jimin and it shouldn’t make him feel like he does. So warm, so cared for. This is what Jimin has dreamt of every night. He would think of moments like this, how Yoongi could help him send away anxiety. 

Yoongi sighs into their embrace, his hand coming up into Jimin’s cheek. He breathes into his hair, “Jimin-ah,  I’ve missed you too.” 

“Then why?” It's Jimin’s turn to ask the question. And he tries to control his voice because he knows that if he didn’t it’s come out as a scream. “Why did you decide to leave me out?” 

Yoongi doesn’t answer that immediately and Jimin thinks he won’t, that he’ll leave the silence hanging. So he doesn’t wait for one, doesn’t expect one from him. Jimin wishes he could understand what brought Yoongi to take that decision but he can’t. “Because our relationship was starting to become complicated to tell to others,” Yoongi says, his voice as little as it could get. 

Jimin closes his eyes, taking in Yoongi’s words, what they imply. “Just know that I’m actively deciding to not make it hard for you tonight–” Jimin says, “Because I’m not in the mood to hear you pulling shit out of your ass just to avoid the truth.” 

“How lovely of you,” Yoongi says, a fond smile warming his voice. 

“I know, I am lovely,” Jimin points out and then he sits up, turning to Yoongi, “And I get it, it’s no surprise that you started liking me,” Jimin says with a playful grin in his voice. 

“Oh, did I?”

“Of course, what's not to like here?” he says with a wink. They are still very close, and Yoongi’s hand now falls on Jimin’s naked tight, his shorts not covering much. 

Yoongi stares at his face, thought, even if his hand closes tightly around his skin, it feel scorching hot. 

“You just didn’t love me,” Jimin adds casually, like it doesn’t break his heart all over again, like it did the first time he heard it. He meets Yoongi’s eyes, and he opens his mouth to talk but nothing comes out, and Jimin waits. All he does with Yoongi is wait. 

In the end, Jimin cups Yoongi’s cheek, “It’s okay,” Jimin says as he slowly detaches himself from the man, from the comfort of his embrace. He presses a kiss on Yoongi’s cheek, “Goodnight, hyung,” he says before standing up, leaving Yoongi alone as Jimin walks inside the villa.

Chapter Text

present day

It’s definitely a slow day, it’s Jimin's second day there so it’s only five days away from the wedding and to Jimin it feels like he’s been here for ages. He wishes he wasn’t as affected as he actually is by everything that– honestly? with Yoongi. With just Yoongi. Everything that revolves around him is making Jimin feel sick right now and he can’t bring himself to even get up. 

He woke up early again, and he can hear the house being silent. Maybe some time in the pool can help him, maybe he should just get up and get it going. Activating his body and mind in the pool is actually good for him, Jimin has always been one of those people that hated being physically stuck with their thoughts. He needs movement, he needs to at least move his body to trick his mind into moving along, too. 

That’s how he spends the early hours of the morning inside the pool, and thanks to Google he manages to have a simple conversation with Rebecca. Her english is not quite perfect, so they both uses Jimin’s phone to interact. 

She’s actually very funny and brilliant, if Jimin wasn’t already utterly in love with Yoongi and didn’t love dick as much as he does, he would have totally fallen for her. Maybe you truly have a fetish for older people he tells himself but he quickly disregards the thought. 

Rebecca sneaks out a fresh batch of cannoli, one with ricotta and chocolate chips, and another one with ricotta and pistacchio grains. Jimin could kiss her. They eat them together at the table she already set for breakfast, and it’s lovely to experience. Jimin like people, he like new connection and he’s having a blast with her as she shows him her cats, explaining that its name is supplì which is something that you typically eat: a ball of rice filled with mozzarella, it’s tomato and meat flavored and it’s fried. “I call him that because he’s red-ish, just like a supplì,” Jimin reads on the translator and he laugh at it, cooing over adorable photos of him. 

They drink freshly made tea, which is super cold and so refreshing. Jimin loves everything about his morning and he’s grateful that he managed to get out of bed and just do.

It’s only when the house starts coming back to live that Jimin leaves for the beach. He knows he’s probably, actively, and surely avoiding Yoongi but after yesterday night, Jimin thinks that’s the best he can do today. 

It costs him a lot to behave himself, to not beg for Yoongi to kiss him or just do it himself. He longs for the man in a way it never happened before and it terrifies Jimin, even if he would never run away from it. 

Jimin is down at the beach when Taehyung takes the sunbed close to his, Jeongguk close to his boyfriend. “Do you really hate sleeping in that much?” Jeongguk asks him and Jimin sighs. 

“I’d pay good money for a good night of sleep,” Jimin says and it’s true. He’s used to it, oftentimes he finds himself awake. Anxiety and nerves never became a good friend of his after his parents died, but for a while Jimin could keep it at bay. He thinks there’s just too much going on in his life, big decisions and all that jazz. 

“Or maybe you just need a good fuck,” Taehyung says and Jimin has to agree, “You know those one that last all night and makes you rethink all your life choices?” Taehyung continues, Jeongguk slides an arm around his middle and Jimin feels a pang of genuine envy. He’s happy for his friends. He wished he had that, too. 

“You just have to say the word and we’ll let loose Hoseok-hyung to look for a club–” Jeongguk says but stops when he hears a throat clearing. 

“I hope that’s not the problem solving you’ll bring at work, Gguk-ah,” it’s Yoongi voices that speak and Jimin should have thrown something on the other free sunbed on his right. Yoongi fixes himself there and Haeun is right after him. 

Fuck his life. 

Maybe he should have gone to visit more of the town. Why can’t he have a moment of– “Oh my god, ohmygod oh my god oh my god–” Jimin says as he spots Namjoon with Yujin in her arms and Seokjin right behind. She’s wearing the cutest swimming suit, it’s a yellow all-piece with small orange crabs all over. “Aren’t you the prettiest ever?” he says as he gets up and walks to them. 

“Of course, I know– it’s so nice hearing it,” Seokjin says as he winks at Jimin. Then his focus is back on Yujin, “Okay, sunshine of my life–” 

“Yeah?” it’s Namjoon that speaks, but then he chuckles, “Oh, you meant Yujin. Right,”  he says as he turns Yujin toward Seokjin. 

“We’ve been through this yesterday, you like the sand. You remember yesterday you played with it?” Seokjin tries and she shakes her head and Jimin stands there to witness it. They try hard to make her understand that there’s nothing to be afraid of and that she literally played on it and with it the previous day. 

Jimin then sits down on the sand as Seokjin and Namjoon try their best, “Hey Yuyu, wanna go into the water?” he asks and she squeaks ecstatic and starts fussing around in Namjoon’s arms to be let go of. 

“Why– No, no why. How are you so good with her?” Namjoon asks, almost exasperated. “It took us a whole hour yesterday to convince her to even try to touch the sand,” he adds and Jimin laughs. 

He blind them with a smile, “Some would say I’m closer in age, I get her better–” he jokes but his voice comes out loud and he knows the present heard him. That makes Seokjin and Namjoon laugh. “Hand me her floaties, and you just enjoy today. I have her,” Jimin says as Yujin lets him fix her dino floaties around her little arms. “Dinos, really?” he asks her and she smiles. 

“She’s very proud of those,” Seokjin says as he sits on the sand with Jimin, “We let her choose and that’s the result,” he says and then adds, his hand on Jimin’s tight, “Are you sure you want to take care of her?” 

“Am I or not the best babysitter you ever had?” he asks because before Switzerland, Jimin used to spend a lot of time babysitting her, whenever he could. Seokjin smile, fondly. 

“She loves you.” 

“As she should, because I love her, too,” he says as he takes her in her arms, “Now, let’s say bye to boring daddy and let’s go have fun! Are you ready?” he says to Yujin and she claps her hand, asking him to hurry. Jimin laughs and then he turns to Seokjin. “You two have a break, it’s okay. I have the best time with her,” Jimin says then add, “And I wasn’t lying when I said I missed her.” 

Seokjin comes closer and leave a kiss on her daughter’s head. “Have fun!” he says to both of you and Jimin call after him, “Where’s my forehead kiss?” but he gets flipped off by Seokjin, it makes Jimin laugh so hard. 

Jimin’s morning is fun, filled with Yujin’s laughter. First they go in the water together and Jimin is so focused on her that he doesn’t notice anything around, and maybe it’s for the better because he doesn’t need to see Yoongi being shirtless, sporting a fucking muscled body that would have Jimin thinking about all the things he wish he could do. He definitely doesn’t see that. No, nope. “Oppa, I’m tired,” Yujin call his attention after a while in the water. 

“Should we get out?” Jimin asks but she shakes her head, “And how do you plan to rest?” he asks, giving her the chance to think about what she wants to do. In the meantime Jimin takes her in her arms, so that she doesn’t have to move her feet too much. They are close to the shore, the water reaching to Jimin’s middle is a far stretch. 

“I don’t know, I like the water,” she says and Jimin chuckle. 

“Okay, here me out. What do you think if he goes lay there, where the water reaches with the waves and we look for cute seashells?” he asks and she thinks about it for a minute but then she nods. 

So Jimin keeps her in her arms as he gets closer to the shore, he lays belly down and she sits close to him mirroring his position. Jimin removes her floaties and keeps her close to him. They stay like that for a while as they look for the cutest seashells. “You see this one has a little hole, we should look for more and make necklaces,” Jimin says to her and she looks at him with wide eyes. 

“Really?” 

“Of course,” Jimin says and that’s enough to have her get on her little feet and start wandering around the beach, looking for the best one. Jimin follows tight but he doesn’t bother her, or say which one she should choose, he accepts the one she brings him and keeps her safe for her. 

Jimin crouches down when she stops, and together they inspect what looks to be a crab. “What are you two after?” he didn’t notice him coming closer, or Jimin would have probably tried to swallow the seashell he had in his hand and hoped to choke on them. 

“Look, Yoongi-oppa, a crab! Like this–” she says pointing to her swimsuit and Jimin sits on the sand, Yoongi mirroring him. They watch as Yujin plays and brings the crab to the sea, paying attention that she doesn’t venture inside the water alone. 

“I see Namjoon-hyun already taught her how to hold one,” Jimin points out and Yoongi chuckles.  

“Who do you think brought her swimsuit?” 

“And who decides her first Halloween costume as one?” Jimin asks back and when Jimin turns he can see Yoongi already looking at him. “What?” 

Yoongi shakes his head, and Jimin pushes back his own blond hair away from his face. Yoongi muscles are taut, firm and Jimin would love so much to go down on him right now but that’s not the original plan. The original plan is to stay away from him because it’s clear that he has started something new with Haeun and Jimin should take yesterday as a goodbye. “Why weren’t you at breakfast?” 

“Hum?” 

“Because I ate already with Rebecca,” he points out but Yoongi shakes his head. “I did! And I wasn’t hungry so I came down here,” Jimin says, playing with some of the seashells that Yujin gave him. She’s sitting now a few feet away from there, clapping on the water that washes over her feet. 

“So you’re not ignoring me?” 

Jimin doesn’t turn to meet Yoongi’s eyes, “Would you want me to?” He had to play his cards right because Jimin was full of plans. 

“Honestly?” 

“If you want you can lie to me, too, as you’ve been doing with yourself,” Jimin says casually, turning to look at him but he’s wearing sunglasses and it’s impossible to detect his expression. Jimin doesn’t like when he can’t see Yoongi’s eyes. 

Yoongi ignores that, “I wouldn’t like that, no.” 

“But it’d be easier, it’d keep your last year of silence going,” Jimin makes him notice, “And I’m sure Haeun wouldn’t want me trying to get inside your pants,” Jimin shares and Yoongi tilts his head. 

“What does Haeun have to do with anything?” 

“Aren’t you like trying again?” Jimin asks, “The whole point of what I did yesterday?” 

Yoongi stops, then he raises his sunglasses over his black hair and Jimin needs to control himself to not just bend back and kiss him stupid. It breaks Jimin’s heart that he will never know what Yoongi’s lips taste like. “Don’t you think it’s so fucking sad that you know how my dick taste like but we never kissed?” he says, taking Yoongi by surprise but he loves to see the shock on his face. His hands close around nothing. 

“Jimin,” he tries, then he unclenches his hand, “I– that was an abrupt change of topic.” 

“You can’t keep up?” 

“That’s not–” Yoongi pinches his nose, “I’m not back with Haeun, where did you get that idea?” 

“You’re not?” Jimin asks, “You’ve been attached to the hip since coming back from the trip and she wanted to talk to you about you,” Jimin tries to make sense of what he saw and Yoongi scoot closer. 

“She did talk to me, but I also told her that I’m not interested–” 

“Why?” 

Yoongi looks up at him, allowing Yujin to sit between his crossed legs when she starts playing with sand. “Because I’m not,” he explains without explaining and Jimin laugh, a good loud laugh. 

“You’re so full of shit, you know that?” 

“And I’m holding a child so, mind your language?” the older points out and Jimin rolls his eyes at him. “But I don’t doubt I am. Care to explain why, though?” 

Jimin hates the relief sensation he feels in his body, even though that doesn’t mean that Yoongi will change his mind about him. Maybe it worsened his heartbreak even more, because now Jimin has no one to fake blame for it. “Because you refuse to have me, and you refuse to have that beautiful woman, too.” 

“I tried, but it didn't work out.” 

“Then try with me,” Jimin says as casually as he can, it’s even flirty but Yoongi’s eyes harden and Jimin knows that he’s never going to win this battle. “Or, don’t. But can you at least explain to me why we haven’t kissed? Not even once?” Jimin asks and he’s serious about the question. 

He wants to know why Yoongi was able to have a taste of him and Jimin has zero. If he thinks about it, he gave everything to Yoongi but what does Jimin have of him? For sure, yearning and tears. “Because we have zero reason to kiss,” Yoongi says, hard in his voice and Jimin nods. 

“Yeah, you’re right. What is a year and something of constant conversations, deep conversations and an amazing night of oral sex if not just zero reason to kiss,” Jimin and then he turns around, standing up. Yujin mimics him and Jimin is grateful that she does. “If you want to keep pretending we have nothing, fine go on. But I won’t, I like to be true to myself and my feelings,” Jimin says before sweeping Yujin in his arms and leaving to where the sunbeds are. 

Jimin needs a bit of shadow and he’s thankful for the big parasols and for the fact that underneath it there’s no one. Taehyung and Jeongguk are playing football with Jihyun, Hoseok, Namjoon and Seokjin. Yoongi gets dragged into it when he’s making his way back to where Jimin is. 

Harin and Haeun are nowhere to be seen, probably having a walk by the shore. 

He’s thankful for it because Jimin needs a second before he can start having normal conversation with anyone. And being in the company of a three year old is gold for him, because he can stop worrying about everything else and focus on her only. Jimin checks the time and it’s already close to lunch time, so he makes sure to warn Seokjin that he’s going back to the villa to feed Yujin. 

The older man makes sure that it’s not a problem again and Jimin waves his worries off. 

It’s the easiest thing for Jimin to take care of and since he started this alliance with Rebecca, Jimin gets to eat delicious food before anyone else and Yujin does as well. 

After that it’s a slow afternoon. 

Seokjin-hyung

Everything okay?

Jimin

100%

We’re taking a rest

and I think she’ll fall asleep pretty soon

we’re not coming back lol 

[photo attached]

Seokjin-hyung

you’re fucking amazing 

and we hate you a bit for it 

Jimin laughs at the text, and after one last exchange he lays down with Yujin as well. He makes sure to put a pillow on her empty side and Jimin keeps her company as she sleeps while reading a book. He starts from where he left off and he sees that Yoongi has progressed quite a bit with it, leaving more and more notes. 

But before Jimin can recall what happened he’s being jerked awake from a pair of devilish hands, slapping his chest and calling his name. “Jimin-oppaaa,” it’s Yujin and he would love to just turn around and ignore but he can’t do that. “I’m bored.” 

“You’re right princess, let’s get you entertained!” so he gets on with it and when they go down to play by the pool he notices that everyone is back already and that it's almost dinner time. Yujin runs up to her parents and that’s probably Jimin's last call. Seokjin thanks him with a hug, “You have no idea how much we needed it,” he says, “Am I a bad parent for saying it?” 

Jimin stays a bit more in the hug, enjoying it. “You’re wonderful, hyung. Everyone needs a break sometimes,” he says and after that Seokjin stays with Yujin while Jimin drinks by the pool with Taehyung, Jeongguk and Hoseok. Haring and Haeun join right after, while Yoongi stays back, taking a phone call. 

But after thirty minutes they all gather around the big table outside to make their pizzas. And it’s the funniest thing Jimin ever did in a while, the dough has been previously made so they just have to put ingredients on under Rebecca’s vigilant and very judging eyes. 

But what has Jimin hollering almost over the floor is the way Seokjin bicker with his daughter over how to make the tastiest pizza. Yujin keeps on wanting to put dough on top of it and Seokjin refuses. “No no, I can’t allow that baby. What kind of educator would I be? Oh my god–” he says as Yujin tries everything to make that happen. 

Jimin enjoys the night, enjoys the pizza made and sits at the table with everybody else. He doesn’t participate much but he takes the moment in, the fairy light above them. He feels relaxed and it doesn’t even bother him when Yoongi sits close to him, on the seat that Harin left empty just a moment ago. She’s now sitting on Jihyun’s legs, feeding him the pizza she made. “They are absolutely disgusting,” Jimin says out loud, making sure they hear and his brother just flip him off, but Jimin smiles widely. 

“They can’t wait to be married,” Yoongi says and Jimin nods. He can’t wait for that too. He knows how much he’s brother was worried about asking her the question, and Jimin tries to reassure him often that she would say yes without having to think twice about it. 

The love that they have is something that Jimin longs for himself, the same kind of love that Taehyung and Jeongguk share, Namjoon and Seokjin too. To be completely of another person, of your person and just let go. To show everything about you, to fight when it’s necessary and to stand by each other when it’s the right time. 

Jimin knows he could have it. He’s sure the man sitting close to him is all that, but Jimin can do it alone. 

“And you?” 

“Jimin.” Yoongi’s voice is stern but Jimin rolls his eyes. 

“Can you, for once, not think that everything I ask you has an ulterior motive? I know you don’t remember but we used to have meaningful conversations,” Jimin says as he brings his glass of wine to his lips. 

Yoongi’s eyes set on him, Jimin can feel them. The older man doesn't say anything to him but he doesn't even have the time to because his phone rings over the table but he doesn’t answer. He puts it face down on the table. “Feel free to take that–” 

“It’s not important.” 

“What? The call or my question?” Jimin turns around, his legs up to his chest. He’s sitting weird in the chair, but he makes it work. 

Yoongi turns around, one leg over the other, “It’s not important whether I want to get married or not.”

“Why? You tried to propose once, did that time ruin it all for you?” His question is genuine and Jimin loves everything that allows him to get to know Yoongi better. 

Yoongi shake his head, “I wasn’t in a good place, and it wasn’t even the right person. But I know that I can’t get marry,” Yoongi says and Jimin tilts his head. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I know it doesn’t show, but I like to think a marriage is based on love and I know I wouldn’t be able to do that with just anyone,” Yoongi says. “I found it but I’m just not able to live it,” Yoongi says casually, as he extends his arm to gather his whiskey glass. Rebecca took out a collection of amari and hard liquor as an after dinner. Jimin is considering mixing it all in  one big glass and downing. 

“That’s why you date and try going out with different people. To see who’s a better fit, but I don’t think it’s just love–” 

“I don't need dating. I know I won’t get married. I tried and failed, and I know there won’t be another chance at that for me because I can’t have it–” Yoongi says looking at Jimin and it breaks his heart to think that Yoongi thinks like that. That he has stopped believing in love and that he’s admitting that he can’t feel any love after his previous relationship. That he’s not in love with Jimin. But– 

“Then why are you being so hard on yourself?” Jimin says but then add when he notices the confusion on Yoongi’s face, “You said you’re not in love, that you failed at it. Then why do you keep pushing me away?” 

“What?” 

Jimin is speaking as lowly as he can, and “You could have me, and I’m more than willing to let you have me. I don’t get why you’re so damn stubborn about it,” Jimin point out. 

Yoongi brings the glass to his lips, downing the jaded drink all at once.  “I know you want me,-” Jimin says. Somehow Taehyung and Jeongguk managed to turn the pool area into a soft music zone. He thinks of going. “-that hasn’t changed.” Jimin says as he rests his hand for leverage on Yoongi’s tight, high on it and very close to all the  proof Jimin’s need. 

Jimin feels brave enough to look into Yoongi’s eyes, pupils blow wide. “Think about it,” he says before being swooned away by Taehyung. 

two and a half year before

There’s a knock that startles Jimin from his study session. It’s one of those days where he’s able to maintain his focus for several hours and Jimin tries to make the most of it. His next exam is painfully hard to prepare and he looks for these moments like gold in a mine. 

“Tae if you forgot to take your key again–” Jimin says as he opens the door, expecting an apologetic Taehyung. His best friend left the house twenty minutes ago, but he managed to come back at least twice because he forgot something. Weird enough it wasn’t the key this time. 

Jimin though is not looking at Taehyung’s face but at a very pissed Jiseok. “Listen, it’s the third time that this has happened. Is your boyfriend already senile or he just doesn’t care enough about you to remember your address right?” Jiseok asks him, and Jimin rests on the door, looking at him, enjoying letting him hold the box he has in hand just because he can. 

“And you would know all about caring about me because…?” Jimin asks, crossing his arms over his chest. He’s not really surprised to notice that he doesn’t care about the man in front of him anymore, he only feels frustrated with himself for having wasted a year and a half of his life on him. Jiseok is dumb, thinks to be in the right always and doesn’t accept being questioned. It’s only after breaking up with him that Jimin realizes how mentally unchallenged he felt, how fucking boring the man in front of him is. 

Jiseok has the decency to flush, his cheeks red with embarrassment. “The address is correct, if you’d just know how to read,” Jimin points out to the label, “The delivery guy mixes our door every time. Which happens to us, too. So if you’d please, drop the pissed off act when it was your dick in another man’s ass.” Jimin says then adds, with a smile, “Thank you, though!” He takes the package and closes the door to his face right when Jiseok was starting to speak. 

Jimin laughs to himself as he goes into his room, with the box in hands. He really hopes Taehyung won’t get back home, praying that he stops forgetting things. He doesn’t know Jimin is in this mess, which in particular this mess entails Yoongi delivering gift boxes to him, high brand boxes to him. 

The thing is, it started with Yoongi purposefully sending them to the wrong address, without telling anything to Jimin. He found out the first time because Jiseok, still the same amount of pissed, handed it over. It was a Valentino box. 

Jimin thought quite long, five seconds after reading its sender, to press on Yoongi’s contact. “You’re so fucking brilliant,” Jimin told over the phone the moment Yoongi picked up. 

“I know. He wasn’t happy, am I right?” 

“Of course, he wasn’t. I bet he thought about keeping it–” 

“That’s why I wrote in the note to let me know when you would have got it,” Yoongi says and Jimin giggles in noticing that the note the envelope was in has been opened. Jiseok is such a child. “But even if he did he wouldn’t have been happy.” 

As Yoongi spoke Jimin got to open the package and it made him laugh so freaking hard when there was nothing Valentino branded inside. He wondered how Yoongi knew that Jimin wouldn’t be annoyed by it. But as what’s inside clicked in Jimin’s mind, he gasped. It’s better than any Valentino branded thing could ever. “Hyung, how did you get this?” 

He had sent him written notes on physical chemistry taken by Michael fucking Gratzel. One of the highest active scientists. “Oh my god–” is the first thing Jimin said before speaking on the phone with Yoongi for hours.

That day, several days after Yoongi left and Jimin woke up alone, was the first time they heard from each other again. And since that moment they haven’ t stopped since.

This mess, though, to go back to the plot– as Jimin likes to call it– he kept it hidden from Taehyung. He asked Yoongi if he wanted to keep going with the gift to plan the delivery when Jimin was sure Taehyung wasn’t home. 

It’s silly, but Jimin thinks he’s not ready to explain it, yet. He doesn’t even understand what’s going on himself. If there’s anything to explain anyway. 

This time Jimin opens the box and finds two books in it and several sweets. He made the fatal mistake of telling Yoongi what his favorite snacks were– Twix, and what were the ones he absolutely hate– mars bar. Jimin takes his phone, “You know I’m gonna send it back right?” Jimin says as Yoongi takes the call. “I’m doing it for you, It’s good for your fragile senile teeth to munch on the mushiness of a mars bar,” Jimin voices out as he looks at the box, filled with freaking mars candy. 

“Next time I’ll send you shit,” Yoongi says but he doesn’t mention that right under the book that Jimin is now taking out there’s a secret section filled with Twix. 

“I swear, you are frustrating–” Jimin says, “Is this a new technique I’m not aware of?” 

“For what?” 

“For bribing the youth?” 

“I wouldn’t send a book and sweets,” Yoongi says and Jimin gasps. 

“You offend me,” Jimin jokes, “Am I not worthy enough? You know Di Caprio would pay good old money for me? at least until I’m 25, then I could be admitted in geriatrics with you.” 

He hears Yoongi sigh, but Jimin can feel the fond smile as he says his next words,”We severely need to work on manners and respect for your elders. What do you say when receiving a gift?” 

“Please, sir. Send more?” 

“You smart-ass,” Yoongi says but there’s a fond smile in his voice. 

Jimin fixes himself on his bed. This– has been going on for several weeks now. And he likes it, Jimin doesn’t know what it means for them to be talking like this, and this much, but he likes it and he hopes it can keep going for a long time because talking to Yoongi feels refreshing. “So did you like my pick?” Yoongi asks as Jimin looks inside the box, and he takes out a book from it. 

It’s just so silly how it all started.. Jimin sent a book to Yoongi once, because he said he never read it and it’s Jimin’s favorite. “What do you mean you’ve never read ‘Far from the madding crowd’?”

“Is that an unforgivable mistake?” 

“Absolutely, but it’s also solvable.” 

And Jimin sent him his own copy that he religiously read almost every year, noting in the front pages what pen slash color slash highlighter he’s going to use this time. Every color he uses he notes it down with the year he reads the book and he knows some people might die from it, but Jimin loves living his books. He loves eardogging the pages, he loves writing thoughts in them, underlining phrases that resonate with him the most. It’s just how he likes it.

And Jimin hardly ever lends his own book exactly for that reason, it’s just too personal but sending his own favorite one to Yoongi felt easy, normal. Like he wanted the man to have that part of him. When Yoongi sent it back it was filled with sticky notes over what Jimin left. He read it for real. He could have said he did and be done with it, but he took time out of his busy day to understand something that Jimin likes. 

And it kind of became their thing. “Big Swiss by Jen Beagin, I never heard of. How did you find it?” 

“Social media.” 

Jimin is silent for a bit, “You know how to use social media?” 

“Fuck you, Park Jimin,” Yoongi says and then he groans, “Don’t say–” 

Jimin snicker as he speaks, “You could, you have.

“And I’m sorry for that, I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you–” 

Jimin rolls his eyes, “Hyung, you tend to forget that I’m an adult.” 

“You’re twenty one years old and I’m thirty-five. I should have known better–” 

“Yeah, yeah and all that boring jazz you say everytime. I was aware and very much in the state of mind of accepting it and wanting it again–,” Jimin points out but he knows it’s a conversation that brings them to a dead-end. So Jimin switches topics as he gets up to get started with lunch. “Did you like the book?” 

“Read my notes and you’ll find out.” 

“You’re no fun, give me something–” Jimin says as he takes out a pot to brew some noodles in it. He doesn’t want anything more than that and he has no interest in cooking something more complex than boiling water and just dropping things inside it.

“It’s hard to explain, at first I thought I wasn’t liking it but as the reading progressed I weirdly empathised with the protagonist,” Yoongi says and Jimin hums, he likes hearing Yoongi’s voice explaining and sharing his thoughts. “I’m also kind of ashamed that I felt her reason and that I couldn’t really blame her in the end,” he continues and now Jimin is curious. He can’t wait to start reading it and– 

He hears the distinctive sound of glass breaking, “Was that glass? Are you at a pub? At two in the afternoon?”

“I’m not in Korea,” Yoongi gives him and Jimin rolls his eyes. 

“Of course, when are you ever–” Jimin point out because in everytime they manage to call and talk, Yoongi was either waiting at the airport or already on the other side of the world. “Where are you making your big investor money?” 

“New York, I’m out with some clients and they are so fucking boring,” Yoongi shares and it makes Jimin chuckles. 

“Speaks the funniest guy I know,” Jimin teases. 

“Brat.” 

“So, you picked up my call to save your night?” 

“I picked up because you called,” Yoongi says and Jimin shouldn’t be feeling his heart skipping a beat and his stomach hosting acrobats doing a deadly risky jump. He’s thankful that he’s alone because he wouldn’t be able to explain the pink color on his cheeks. 

Maybe that’s why Jimin wants to keep it a secret, because he wouldn’t be able to explain this. 

“And do you want me to keep talking or you want to go back to your boring meeting?” Jimin asks, trying hard to mask his smugness and excitement.  

“Entertain me, Jiminie.” 

And that’s how most of their calls go, they never meet in person but Jimin gets that it’s hard since Yoongi is hardly ever in the same place Jimin is and Jimin– he wishes they could meet but he enjoys the routine they have fallen into. The time they spend at the phone has become almost sacred for Jimin and he likes sharing. 

What he like the most is that it’s not something that Jimin enjoys alone, at one point the thought that he might be annoying Yoongi came to his mind and he tried to call him less and less but then it was Yoongi who would dial Jimin’s number, something without a specific topic to talk about. 

Sometimes they wouldn’t stop talking. “Okay, listen, serious question–” Jimin says, it’s been months now of them doing this and Jimin is scrolling through the shelves of a bookstore, he needs to choose one book to share-reading with Yoongi. Yoongi is silent, waiting for Jimin to talk. “What sport did you play when you were a kid?” 

Yoongi doesn’t sigh, he answers promptly, “I had to play tennis.” 

“You had to?” 

Jimin can feel Yoongi nodding, “It was that or either golf, so I picked the least worst option.” 

“But why?” 

“Because my father thought rich people should practice reach people sport, and tennis was a proper option for him. I didn’t really enjoy it, thought,” Yoongi shares and Jimin pictures a small little Yoongi forced to go around with a big ass racket in hand, trying to hit balls the best he could. “One time, to avoid playing under the scorching sun of noon, I asked my babysitter at the time to go to court early under false pretence that I wanted to start practice alone,” Yoongi says as Jimin pick up a book, but shake his head after the plot doesn’t sound too convincing. 

“And what did you do?” 

“I asked her to go buy me a water bottle and I managed to make a hole in every ball I could find,” he says and it makes Jimin stop and then burst out laughing so hard. 

“You did not!” 

“Oh, if I did! My father was furious and the club couldn’t find who did it and they had to buy a whole new set of tennis balls and had to cancel all lessons of that day and the next one,” he continues and Jimin can’t believe his ears. 

“Who would have thought that young you was such a rebel,” Jimin says and he can hear the smile in Yoongi’s voice. 

“Yeah, I tended to spite them on purpose a lot. Like one time, we have this villa in Italy and when I was younger we used to spend summer there and I loved it, there was a beautiful lemon grove there–” Yoongi says and Jimin listens, “But my father always prohibited to let me bring home any friends-” 

“What about a boy or a girl?” 

“He wouldn’t allow girls, imagine a boy.” 

“And you did exactly that?” 

“Of course, I made out hard with him under the lemon grove at the exact time I knew he’d take his evening walk,” Yoongi says and that makes Jimin laugh hard. The way Yoongi breathes airily into the phone indicates he’s laughing, too. “I never run that fast, and you know I do,” Yoongi adds and Jimin truly can’t believe it. 

“Where’s this rebel side, eh?” Jimin asks but then, before Yoongi can replay he goes back to their previous topic. “You know, I’ve always wanted to learn how to play tennis. In particular understanding why the hell their point works that way–” he says as he takes a book and turns it to read its plot. 

“I can’t help with that.” 

“Why? Did you suck at it?” 

Yoongi clicks his tongue inside his mouth, and Jimin can picture it very well in his mind. “I was, against my own will, actually very good at playing. I thought that if I had to do it, at least I should practice well,” he explains, “But honestly I never paid attention to point theory, I couldn’t care less,” Yoongi says and it makes Jimin smile. He has always been the hard-working type, then.

His smiles get wider when he finds the perfect book to buddy-read. 

“What would you have loved to do?” Jimin asks as he makes his way to the cashier. He plans to read the book first and then send it to Yoongi, Jimin wishes he could see his reaction when he opens the package.

Yoongi takes a moment to answer, “I asked my father two things when I was little, when he refused both I made sure to never ask for anything again. If I wanted something I would have worked hard to get it when he wasn’t in my life anymore,” Yoongi says and he doesn’t add more to his answer. Jimin waits and gives Yoongi time because if their calls thought he is something, sometimes the older one needs more time to elaborate his emotions. 

“I would have loved playing basketball and learning how to play the piano,” Yoongi says, and Jimin’s heart physically squeezes at the thought of a young Yoongi asking that and receiving no as an answer. 

“Why didn’t you get lessons when you could pay for them yourself?” 

“Because then I grew up and it became just the silly request of a kid. I got busy and never thought of it again,” Yoongi says and Jimin can hear the clicking noise of a keyboard. He’s probably in the office, after all it’s 11 in the morning. Jimin just finished his classes for the day and is waiting around before his work shift starts. 

“God, you talk like you’re moments away to write your will,” Jimin teases and he can hear Yoongi chuckle on the other line. “You could start it, you know? For yourself.” 

“I don’t have the time, I’m barely in the same place for more than a week–” 

“But you make time to talk to me.” 

“It’s different.” 

“How?” 

“For once, we’re talking on the phone and that I can bring everywhere,” Yoongi points out but Jimin shakes his head, even if Yoongi can’t see him. 

He starts walking toward his work place, it’s a warm morning and Jimin likes the way the sun rays hit his skin. “And that means you’re not working, if you’re talking to me. You could use that time to do something you love,” Jimin counters and Yoongi is silent for a moment. 

“But I am doing it,” he says and that leaves Jimin speechless for a moment. Is he–? No, he’s not talking you two on the phone. 

“I know talking to me is the spectacle of your day, your prime activity, your number one reward but hyung, don’t you think that gives me too much importance in your life?” Jimin teases because he knows that’s what they do, and that he can’t push it more than this with Yoongi. 

“You’re such a smart-ass.”

“Why? Were you hinting at something else?” Jimin asks, trying to control his voice, to keep the most casual tone he could master when Jimin is very much not casual at all right now. 

“I was not,” Yoongi concedes and Jimin feels like he could breathe again. 

“Okay, good. Now, talking about that death-approaching-will you’re writing these days, do I get something?” 

“I’m ending this call right-fucking-now,” Yoongi says and it makes Jimin burst out laughing. “Please, take note I’d like the motorcycle you always brag about–” Jimin says. He recently found out that Yoongi own a motorcycle and he managed to get a picture of it– not in the traditional way one would think. 

It was not sent through text or shown during a phone video call. No, Min Yoongi had to go have it printed out and Jimin had to find it as a bookmark in one of their shared readings. 

“I would never leave that to you,” 

“Why?” Jimin fakes offence, “You should since you’ll never take me for a ride,” Jimin points out and Yoongi doesn’t deny that. It hurts a bit, but Jimin is getting used to being ignored when it comes to meeting up or sharing the same space. 

“Because you’d resell it as fast as I give it,” Yoongi reasons with him and Jimin giggles. 

Jimin laugh again, “True, it’s be the easiest money of my life–” 

“I’m the easiest money of your life, and your brother.” 

“Also true, but I take pride in never touching what my brother remind me is my found for life–” Jimin says, “I work, and I’m more than capable of taking care of my own expenses,” he says but then he goes back to the topic at hand, “You wouldn’t leave me the motorcycle, but that it implies that you’d leave me something else,” Jimin says. 

“Probably everything else,” Yoongi says, his tone of voice serious. 

“Really?” 

“No.” 

“You are one answer away from being blocked, try again,” Jimin threatens and he likes hearing the small laugh he stole from Yoongi. 

“I’d leave something,” 

“What?” 

“You’ll know when I’ll die and you’ll get to read the will–” 

“Then I don’t have to wait much–” 

“Fuck you,” Yoongi says as Jimin laughs out loud, again. Yoongi ends the call then and that makes Jimin laugh even harder. 

He sits at the coffee right before the lab he works at, he opens the book and starts reading. And it doesn’t take Jimin much time to finish it, in approximately a week he’s done with it and shipped it to Yoongi. 

Yoon 

fuck you park jimin 

Jimin

you say that to me often

but never take words into action 

:(

i’m not reading this 

i can’t believe you sent a tennis romance 

:((

no

:((((

omg you know what 

i’ll read it 

well played 

:DD

“I know you liked it, stop it. Your notes are sassy at first but then you got into it. Admit it,” Jimin points out, he’s in his room. Taehyung and Jeongguk are in the living room watching a movie. He could join them but Yoongi texted him if they could talk and here Jimin is. 

“Never,” Yoongi says, “I’d rather eat soil.” 

“Your priority are rather fucked up,” Jimin point out and usually Yoongi would laugh, or chuckle or banter back with him. Not tonight, he’s been a little off. 

“Yeah, you could say that.” 

Jimin waits for Yoongi to elaborate but he doesn’t. Weird. “Hyung, is everything okay?” 

Yoongi sighs, “I don’t know if I want to talk about it,” he shares and Jimin appreciates the honesty. He really does but it confuses him- 

“Okay, I won’t force you but why–” 

“I think I just wanted company, your company–” Yoongi says and Jimin knows he’s not done yet, so he lets him. “Can we just be?” Yoongi asks and Jimin feels worried, he has rarely heard Yoongi like this. He wonders what happened but he won’t ask unless it’s Yoongi who wants to share it. 

“Of course,” Jimin says in a softer voice. And that’s how they spend their night, just being together. Jimin uses the time to get ahead with study, then he checks several emails and once he’s tired of being in front of a screen, he takes their shared book. This time it’s Whom the Gods would Destroy by Richard Pitts Powell. 

It’s Yoongi who chose the book this time, after Jimin casually mentioned in a conversation that he loved retelling of Troy’s war. They don’t talk and when Jimin wants a cup of hot tea he brings Yoongi with him. “Sorry sorry, disentangle if you’re tangled up in positions that could leave me scarred for life–” Jimin says as he breach through Taehyung and Jeongguk’s time together. 

It makes them laugh, and it’s Jeongguk who answer him, “Nothing tainting going on, just Tae bowling and trying to hide it–” 

“As I don’t know he cries easily with movies.” 

“We’re watching Coco,” Jeongguk says and Jimin’s mouth opens as he pours himself hot water into his cup. 

“And why are you not bowling like a baby, too?” 

“I don’t know? Should I?” Jeongguk asks and then Jimin raises an eyebrow at him. 

“Is this your first time watching Coco?” 

Jeongguk looks from the TV screen to Jimin and then to Taehyung, who emerges from his boyfriend’s arms, blowing loudly his nose. “Yes! That’s why I’m putting myself through this–” Taehyung says, “On what ground would our relationship stand if I didn’t let him watch this movie?” 

Jimin nodded, pretending to be solemn, “Absolutely unsteady, toxic, may I even say it’s a red flag you didn’t see it yourself?” 

“It’s been three years without this Coco nonsense. I think we’re pretty solid,” Jeongguk says and Jimin smiles as Taehyung shushes him. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. You won’t be the same after watching it,” Taehyung says and if there's something Taehyung is as serious as Law, it’s Coco. “Now, hug me and prepare to cry,” Taehyung says as he shuffles close to Jeongguk (not really possible, but he manages anyway) (Jeongguk doesn’t protest). 

“I don’t think I will, though, at least it seems pretty fine,” Jeongguk says and that has Jimin laughing. 

Jimin takes his cup and gets ready to leave, “Just send me a selfie when you will inevitably cry.” 

He leaves the room to a big wide-eyed Jeongguk. 

When he closes the door behind him, Jimin rests his phone on the desk, calling still on. “He didn’t say he hasn't watched Coco on his resume. I wouldn’t have even begun to consider his internship with us,” Yoongi says, some of the usual playfulness again in his voice. 

“Thank god, Taehyung is rectifying the situation. Maybe he knew that it’s a clause in the contract,” Jimin says and that has Yoongi laughing, it’s airy and soft but it’s there. 

Then there’s a bit of silence and Jimin that’s it, they’ll be back to just existing at the same time. But Jimin’s breath gets caught when Yoongi speaks again, “My father’s sick,” he says, his voice low, “And I feel guilty that I feel nothing at all about it,” he shares and it all makes sense. 

“Hyung–” 

“I should feel sad about it, a good son would. And I was one, I’ve always tried to be so why now I just–” 

“Because he wasn’t a good father. And it’s not one of those cases where he tried and failed. He didn’t try at all,” Jimin says, his voice a whisper. He feels like he’s talking to a scared pup, if he’d raise his voice any more than this it would send him running away. “You did your best as a son to survive him being your dad. But now that you have zero to no ties with him, it doesn’t surprise me that you feel nothing. And you shouldn’t blame yourself for that.” 

“You wouldn’t think like I am right.” 

“I wouldn’t, but you’re being unfair to yourself. Hyung, my parents weren’t perfect but I loved them and they loved me. They loved Jihyun just as much as I’d give anything to have them back, but my parents weren’t your father,” Jimin says and he can hear Yoongi’s silence and Jimin takes pride in the fact that he knows what his different silence means. 

So he adds, “Your dad put conditions on your relationship with him, it was almost a business deal. He gets something from you and you get, maybe, something from him,” Jimin says, “So it doesn’t really matter that I wouldn’t think the same, that I would worry. Because we’re different people with different background, and I don’t even know what it means to know one of your parent is sick, because they got stolen away from me by a car accident,” Jimin says and he can feel tear picking at his eyes, he knows Yoongi can probably hear it in his voice, too. “But I know what it’s like to feel guilty.” 

“You do?” 

“The memories, their voices fading. I feel so guilty about not cherishing it more the time I had with them, but I didn’t know it was going to end soon. I thought I had all the time in the world,” Jimin says and he doesn’t know if he imagines it, but Yoongi’s breath itches. “It’s not the same guilt, I live with it because I know I was loved and it pains me to lose the memory of that, remaining just with the concept of it.” 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t do this to you–” 

“What? Opening up?” 

“Bore you with my problems, you should be out watching films with your friends.” 

“I would’ve ended up crying anyway,” Jimin jokes and he hopes Yoongi takes it as that and he’s thankful when all he hears from the other end is laughter. Then Jimin sighs, and he knows they are going back to their shared silence. 

It’s only when Jimin settles in the bed that Yoongi says again, “Jimin-ah?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’m glad I called you.” 

“Night, hyung,” Jimin says as he hears Yoongi breathing. His heart grows in his chest, and Jimin knows he should do something to stop it. He doesn’t. 

“Good night.” 

Chapter Text

present day

“Non servono a niente.”

Jimin hears Rebecca’s voice and as he turns toward the big table outside they used for meals, he finds her trashing some weird thin spirals. Google tells him she’s saying something similar to they serve to nothing, and Jimin wonders if that’s a really good translation. 

He goes up to her, “What are you doing?” he asks her, and she shows him those spirals again, and she’s agitated but with some work Jimin gets to understand almost nothing. Nothing at all. Google Translate is the worst invention ever created. Failing him like this on his third day, here. 

“Okay, wait. Let’s try a different app,” Jimin tries but he has very little success. What Rebecca is trying to tell him, apparently, exceeds any online translator’s abilities. “Let’s go very slow–” he tries one last time because he wants to understand and if one thing Jimin has is persistence and patience on his side. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Oh, Yoongi! Aiutaci tu,” Rebecca says and that the translator does get it: Oh Yoongi, help us.  Maybe Jimin is just joking around, maybe he just enjoys Jimin’s suffering. Maybe it’s true that technology studies us and one day will take over. This is just the first of many evil little things they’ll do. 

“What’s wrong?” he says as he walks up to them. It’s a bit before breakfast and Jimin had just done with his usual morning swim. And Yoongi seemed to be working out, too. His hair is damp and he’s still dressed in work out clothes, his tights’ muscles contracting catching Jimin’s eyes. 

Jimin explain to him what they were trying to do and he takes over the conversation easily, translating efficiently to Jimin that “Rebecca was disposing of those mosquito coils because she’s adamant they don’t work and that, in fact, mosquitoes have been biting her and will bite us during meal,” Yoongi says and Jimin wonders if– 

“Ask her if she still has the box they came in.” 

“Why would I do that?” 

“Because I’m asking,” Jimin says and Yoongi clicks his tongue on the side of his mouth. Jimin holds up his gaze but in the end Yoongi turns to Rebecca. She directly hands him the box and Jimin turns it around to look at the ingredients. It’s all in italian but what Jimin needs has an intricate name and it’s not too different from how it’s written in English. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Shush, let me just–” he scans the ingredients and then shakes his head. “This won’t work,” he says looking at Yoongi and then at Rebecca. “You need to look for the one that has prallethrin in them, which is a pyrethroid, that burned in small doses, can repel mosquitoes for real. It’s a chemical response, and those are the ones that really work–” Jimin says and he finds that both Yoongi and Rebecca are looking at him confused. “Aren’t you going to tell her?” 

“I don’t even know what you’re saying,” Yoongi says and Jimin huffs. 

“Just translate words for words what I told you,” Jimin instructs, “I’ll write down the name she needs to look for,” he says as Yoongi starts doing that. Jimin opens his noteapp and shows her the name, thankfully those get translated correctly by Google. 

Rebecca nods, fascinated and says something to Yoongi which Jimin doesn’t get, and he’s not quick enough with his phone. But he catches Yoongi sayings Yeah, he’s the smartest person I know and fuck him for thinking that and still not giving Jimin any chances at all. 

Rebecca smacks a kiss on both Yoongi and Jimin’s cheek and then she walks away, probably going to direct the kitchen. 

“Do you really think that?” 

“What?” 

Jimin shows him the translation still on the phone. Yoongi looks caught, he scratches his neck and a faint tint darkens his cheek. “Yeah, of course. Don’t fish for compliments, you know that already.” 

“I don’t,” Jimin says, “You never said it.” 

Jimin then starts walking away but Yoongi stops him, a hand around his wrist. “Wait. Can you come with me?” 

“Where?” 

“It’s a surprise?” 

“‘Are you asking me?” he says but he notices the shift in Yoongi’s face, he’s embarrassed and it’s costing him a lot to say this. 

“Will you just come with me?” 

And Jimin has pity on him so he just starts following him, “Okay, but why does this feel like illegal?” Jimin says as he follows Yoongi down a path that Jimin didn’t notice before. It’s still well kept but it’s very hidden, something only who grew up in this house would know how to find it. “Oh my god, what are you going to do? Where are you–? Hyung, maybe this is illegal–” Jimin says again as he notices a huge red sign.

 “There’s a big sign saying we shouldn't get there— and we’re going in okay–” Jimin continues as Yoongi pushes hard on the gate to open it. His arms flexing and leaving Jimin thirsty. Isn’t it particularly hot today?

“What are you afraid of?” Yoongi asks as he guides Jimin inside what is a brief path to probably a murder scene. This is the last time Jimin is seeing daylight, the last time he gets to look Yoongi in the face and to admire his grin before it turn evilish and he just takes Jimin’s heat out and–

“With you? Lots of things,” Jimin says, “As far as I know you work all these years jut for this moment, to lure me in and then kill me brutally to put a curse on my brother’s wedding and happiness forever–” 

Yoongi stops for a moment, he turns around to stare into Jimin’s eyes. “Where does that even come from?” 

“I started listening to true crimes podcasts,” Jimin shrugs. Yoongi shakes his head amused but resumes his walking. 

“So much trust, I’m honored. Maybe I should just get you back to the house–” Yoongi says and Jimin takes a second to think about what to say next. 

“Ah, no quitting now–” he says as he runs the small distance between him and Yoongi, wrapping his finger around his arms. If he has a chance to stay close with Yoongi, alone, he’ll take it even if it’s not the best idea. It’s maybe the worst idea but– “Oh my god, is this?” 

“It is, you said you always wanted to learn–” 

Jimin’s mouth hangs open as he takes in the tennis court in front of him. Yoongi stands by his side, and Jimin still has his finger around his arms but Yoongi doesn’t care about it. He’s not taking his distance and he’s just letting Jimin take it in. 

It’s a hard court, its blue floor and white lines make Jimin think of all the times he happened to see it on television, when his mom would put on some games just as a background. 

Jimin takes a step forward and he smiles widely as he looks around and then back at Yoongi, who’s looking at him, the same wide smile playing. His gums show and Jimin thinks he really does look boyish, happy and tender in his eyes as they don’t shift from Jimin’s body. “How is a whole tennis court here?” 

“My father,” is all that Yoongi says and Jimin nods, he understands. He hates that he’s so much into Yoongi’s brain. 

“He wanted you to train everywhere?” 

“He probably wishes I’d be what Sinner is, but unfortunately–” 

“Unfortunately, you’re just as money filled as he is, but without tennis,” Jimin points out and that, that has Yoongi 's shoulder shakes visibly and Jimin is welcomed with a vision that he hardly ever sees. Yoongi is happy, relaxed and carefree and he’s looking at Jimin like he’s the reason behind it. 

It makes Jimin gloat and feel a sense of victory, especially because it stays there even as they start warming up and Jimin follows Yoongi’s instructions. It doesn’t take much to understand that Jimin sucks at this. “Wow, you’re so bad at this,” Yoongi calls him out and Jimin flips his finger at him. 

“What are you doing?” Jimin asks as Yoongi takes the very bright highlighter yellow ball and holds it over the net. 

“Showing the ball places it has never seen before,” he says and it takes a second but then Jimin is laughing hard. 

“You’re such an asshole,” Jimin says to a grinning Yoongi, “It’s my first time, you should encourage me!” he says as he points his racket to the older man. 

“But I am, because now you’ll want to prove me wrong,” Yoongi says as he walks on his part of the field. Jimin just follows Yoongi’s movement, thinking how much he hates that they know each other so well, so much to perfectly know what’s the best strategy to push each other in doing better. In doing more. 

Yoongi takes Jimin’s racket for a moment, adjusting the string for him and then he’s back on the field. They keep playing and Jimin keeps missing a whole lot of balls, managing to hit back only a few of them. 

Yoongi is good, quick and has great coordination even if a bit rusty. He misses one or twice too, some don’t go over the net but overall Jimin is amazed by his form. He tries hard not to dwell too much on his arms flexing, on the muscles on his tights contracting every time he goes for a sprint to catch the ball that Jimin can’t control yet and shoots in every direction. 

Yoongi is hot, lean but defined and fuck it if Jimin wouldn’t love to just have him in his sheets. 

After an hour or more Yoongi calls a break, they move under the shade. There’s a moment of silence, where Jimin studies Yoongi and the soft look on his face. “You remembered,” Jimin voices his thoughts, it had been running in his mins since he saw the tennis court. 

“I wish I didn’t.” 

“Why?” 

“Because it’s easier to live when I forget about you,” Yoongi says as leans on the fence. Jimin stays a few feet away and stares at Yoongi’s shirt adhering to his skin because of the sweat. It reveals to Jimin that the older man has been working out and that there’s very little Jimin wouldn’t be able to fall on his knees right here and now. 

“And you did a fantastic job at that,” Jimin says, taking a bottle of water Yoongi left close by. Jimin twists the cup open but he doesn’t drink from it because he gets distracted by Yoongi’s look. His eyes get incredibly darker as he gazes at Jimin, searching for his eyes. 

Jimin takes several steps closer to where Yoongi is, and he can see how tense he gets the more Jimin walks toward him. His eyes study Jimin’s every move. 

“Do you think I forgot about you?” Yoongi doesn’t speak immediately then, leaving the question hanging open. 

Jimin nods. “I think you did that pretty well, and that before this week started you barely remembered me and what we had,” Jimin says, speaking of his innermost fears and doubts. 

He doesn’t expect much from Yoongi after that, he knows the man. He knows that when it comes to Jimin he won’t act on it, because he’s afraid, because he thinks Jimin is a child and because he just doesn’t love him like Jimin does. Yoongi might care for him, maybe, but that’s just about it. He might find Jimin attractive but that’s it. 

Maybe, that’s all Jimin can take from Yoongi, if he’s ever willing to give in. 

Yoongi’s eyes don’t leave Jimin’s face, and he holds the gaze trying to get something out of the man. But Yoongi doesn’t bulge. Instead– “Breaks over- We should work on your backhand shots,” Yoongi says, changing the topics and Jimin speaks before he can think. 

“To think no one ever complained about those,” he says as he follows Yoongi on court. They stand on the same side and Jimin hold the racket up with one hand, trying to show him how he does a backshot. 

Yoongi looks at him, unamused. “Really? A backshot sex joke?” 

“I know you want to laugh,” Jimin says to him as Yoongi walks closer, lips curves up. He doesn’t give Jimin the satisfaction to see him laughing but he still consider it a win. 

He makes a scene to show Jimin how he should rightly hold the racket, flexing his muscles on purpose. “Got it?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Jimin says nonchalantly but Yoongi’s eyes fix on him. 

“You weren’t looking.”

“And you know it because…?” 

Yoongi point to the racket, that’s on the ground. “I wasn’t even holding the racket and you didn’t notice,” he says and Jimin feels heat creep up to his cheeks but he just shrugs. 

“Not my fault you were flexing,” Jimin says as his hand grips around Yoongi’s arm. 

“I was flexing?” Yoongi says as he brings the hem of his shirt up to dry the sweat on his forehead, revealing his lean stomach. Jimin folds his arms over his chest and look at Yoongi with a raised eyebrow. “Sorry,” Yoongi says with a sly smile on show, and again he looks young, carefree and just enjoying himself. Jimin wishes this could be how he always behaves around him. 

“New rule, if you plan on showing skin again, then you have to let me touch,” Jimin says because he needs to have the upper hand and he needs Yoongi to understand that he can’t just play with Jimin like this. Because Yoongi’s actions have consequences and because Jimin wants to touch him. 

Yoongi looks at him but shakes his head, a bit of amusement and exasperation in his eyes. “Come on, we gotta make you suck less,” Yoongi says as he motions Jimin back on court and they get back to it. 

Before returning to play, Yoongi ties his hair up in a messy bun and Jimin- Jimin needs a moment because Yoongi is capable of stealing breath out of him, of drawing out reactions that Jimin has never had for anyone. 

He used to use men like ken doll, sleeping around and discarding them the next day. He was also capable of a relationship, he gave his all with Jiseok– even if it turned out to be the wrong relationship to do that. 

But he has never felt like this from a simple action as tidying up hair. It’s just, Yoongi looks gorgeous, feline eyes focused on him and Jimin wishes so bad to be able to walk over and kiss him silly, kiss him until that stern look turn into something incredibly delicate. For Jimin only to witness. 

Jimin attempts a shot on the other side, “Was there something you like about tennis anyway?” Jimin asks as Yoongi effortlessly returns the ball to Jimin, who clearly misses it. 

Yoongi let Jimin serve again as he thinks about an answer, “I like that it require me to focus, to study my opponent’s next move, to know who’s on the other side. That every mistake on my part will be exploited against me,” Yoongi says as he moves around the field, his movement still elegant and controlled, like he usually is everyday. 

“It helped me in my job now, thinking wide ahead and quickly, knowing everything about the company we’re acquiring and what I can exploit to close the deal with more profit on my part,“ he says as Jimin jumps in triumph when he manages to send the ball across the net. 

“Did you see that?” Jimin asks, happy as he let himself have a moment of joy. Yoongi looks at him fondly but when he shoots back, Jimin misses it. “And that, pretend you didn’t see it,” Jimin says as Yoongi walks closer to him. 

“You didn’t get back in the right posture,” Yoongi explains as he comes toward and circles behind Jimin. It feels like a scene out of a rom-com, how Yoongi wraps his arms around him to help him find the best position to swing back the ball. Jimin is not paying attention, hit by a wave of Yoongi’s perfume. Clean, and light but there’s also the natural scent of his skin, so distinctively Yoongi that has Jimin’s head spin. 

This, Jimin is going to milk this. “Jimin-“ Yoongi's voice is stern when he lets his back against Yoongi’s chest. Jimin feels his heart beat getting faster, and he fears Yoongi might hear it, too, but he doesn’t care. Jimin dreams about this constantly, of being close to him, even in his sleep. Dark eyes, gummy smile is what keeps him up in his endless night of sleep. 

“You said it. Every mistake is exploited,” Jimin explains as he pushes himself back a bit more, as Yoongi doesn’t get away from his touch, but stays there. Jimin feels a million degrees hot, and not because of the sun. 

His voice is low, it vibrates through Jimin’s chest. Hot breath against Jimin’s neck, “And mine is now-?” 

“You said now, cute. I love a conscious man.” Jimin says as they still in the position, Yoongi’s arms tighten around Jimin, over his hand as they both hold his racket. A tight pull at the end of Jimin’s stomach hit him. He needs so much more. “Now, your current mistake was thinking that I would behave in this and that I would let you teach me tennis easily-“ 

“Nothing about you is easy.” 

“I’m taking that as compliment,” Jimin says as his hold on the racket falter, one of his hand closing around Yoongi’s wrist. They both forget about the racket, Yoongi’s nose tracing the expenses of Jimin’s neck. It makes goosebump raise on his skin and Jimin feels his legs trembling. “Hyung–” he whispers as one of Yoongi’s arm circles his waist, a hand settling on his stomach. 

They take a few steps back, and when Yoongi’s back hits the same fence he was leaning on before, Jimin lets go and rests his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. “Jimin we can’t– I can’t-,” he presses the words into Jimin’s skin, and Jimin shakes his head. “I should walk away,” the older man continues but he doesn’t, his hand is still on Jimin’s stomach, under his shirt and his thumb is moving up and down, playing with the hem of Jimin’s shorts. 

“You wouldn’t,” 

“How do you know that?” 

“I feel that,” Jimin says like a broken record, “You want me and I am here,” Jimin says breathless, his hips pressing back and feeling the hardness in Yoongi’s pants. “Yoongi you–” 

Jimin’s words get stuck in his throat when Yoongi start pressing kisses on Jimin’s neck, “You are so fucking infuriating, saying my name like that–” 

“Like what?” Talking is so hard when Yoongi’s hands slip past Jimin’s shorts, teasing Jimin right where he needs him

Yoongi’s hand warps around Jimin’s length and he melts into his chest, Jimin’s hand raising to card into Yoongi’s hair, keeping him close. “Like I can have you, like I can be yours,” Yoongi says, his mouth leaving featherlike kisses on his skin, opposite to they way his hand feels around him. He twist and flick his wrist in a maddening way and Jimin vision cloud with pleasure. 

He fights himself to last, he wants this moment to drag into forever because having Yoongi’s hand on him feels surreal, it feels like paradise. “Yoongi, you can–” 

“Like you can be mine,” Yoongi almost growls and it’s such a powerful combination, his touch, his voice and the situation. It has Jimin feel weak in the knees and Yoongi hold him up, against himself. “Not yet- I’m not done with you,” the older man says and Jimin wants to turn around, to kiss him but Yoongi doesn’t allow it.

“Let me touch you, too–” Jimin moans. It's strained because he can’t quite control himself. 

Yoongi doesn’t acknowledge him, instead he drags out more moan from Jimin. He’s loud and it seems to push Yoongi on and on, his thumbs playing with the tip of Jimin’s length and spreading pre-cum. “Hyung, please-” Jimin begs but Yoongi shakes his head, his free hand comes up to play with Jimin’s nipple and it drives him crazy. 

The pleasure building inside of him grows more and more and when Yoongi’s lips closes on his neck, and his wrist sets a maddening pace, Jimin can’t hold it anymore. His finger closes around Yoongi’s hands, keeping him there where he needs him but his legs feel like jelly and he’s glad Yoongi is a solid presence behind him. “I’m never questioning your backhand,” Jimin says as he tries to even his breathing. 

Yoongi’s laugh vibrates through Jimin’s back, but then he turns around in Yoongi’s hand and the man hugs him close. Jimin rests his cheek on Yoongi’s chest, adhering perfectly to him, “Will you let me do you this time?” he asks, his voice little, bracing for rejection. 

Yoongi doesn’t answer him directly, instead he presses Jimin more into himself but when Jimin’s hand graces the hem of his shorts, Yoongi takes it and intertwines their fingers. He brings it up and leaves a kiss on Jimin’s knuckle. “It’s okay,” Yoongi says but Jimin shakes his head, pulling back to look into Yoongi’s eyes. 

“Why? It’s clear you want me to,” Jimin points out and Yoongi distracts him by hiding into the crook of Jimin’s neck, leaving kisses there, taking this one last thing. Jimin makes room for him because he wants this, he longs for this and he will take whatever Yoongi wants to give back. 

Yoongi hands presses on the end of Jimin’s back, pressing him into him more, like he’s not ready to let go. “I can’t take more away from you,” Yoongi whispers into Jimin’s skin and it break his heart, it shudders into million of pieces because Jimin knew that it is never going to change. That Yoongi’s mind will always be set on their difference, on their distance. 

“I want you to,” Jimin says as he moves his head up, his nose now against the column of Yoongi’s neck, inhaling his scent and grazing the skin with his lips. Yoongi’s hand close around him, not allowing Jimin to move one single inch. With one hand he cups his neck and Jimin presses kisses into it, taking this little thing Yoongi is allowing him. “I want you to take everything from me,” Jimin says, fighting the urge to cry. He can feel the tear lodged in the back of his throat but he can’t. He won’t cry because of this again. 

Yoongi shakes his head; it’s imperceptible, but it’s there. So Jimin breathes in and takes this moment, melting into Yoongi for as long as the man will allow. “We keep falling into each other,” Jimin whispers, probably because he might not have any trace of self-preservation. “It should mean something,” he finishes with a kiss, tasting Yoongi’s skin. 

“It means I need to up my control when I’m around you,” Yoongi says. He still doesn’t let go of him, his hand under his shirt moving up and down his spine. “This can’t happen again, Jimin.” 

Jimin doesn’t answer; he knows it’s useless. So he waits until this moment will break because he knows it will. 

It happens when they are still in each other’s arms, Jimin hears the ringtone of his phone, the ringtone he chose specifically for his brother. The call is brief, “You’re being requested for a sudden video call for the Harkness deal,” he says tentatively, eyeing Yoongi after hanging up. Yoongi’s jaw set at that point, and he grabs his bag, retrieving his phone from it. There are several missed calls from Jihyun, Hoseok, and Namjoon. 

Yoongi groans out loud, but Jimin can see the switch in his eyes. He’s not relaxed anymore, focused on the work and probably trying to recall the details of the deal, what’s at stake, and how much further he can push it. 

 They are quick in getting back to the Villa, and pretending like nothing happened. No one questions why they were together, no one even notices, and Jimin makes a queue to the pool as Yoongi heads back inside the house. 

And just like that, it’s over. 

Jimin spends the afternoon quite alone, leaving the Villa and going exploring things he wanted to see. He needs the time to wrap his mind around things, around the fact that Yoongi will never get past their differences and that Jimin should try to move on from him. 

He has lunch with another granita paired with a brioche, and no, he’s not getting tired of eating it. It tastes delicious and he snaps a photo of it, sending it to Taehyung and Jeongguk who decide to stay back at the beach. Well, Taehyung decided that. Jeongguk was probably still working with Yoongi and the others to make sure everything about the Harkness deal was going on smoothly. 

Jimin would have loved to stay back at the beach but he needed to get away from a place where he could run into Yoongi. Not now– after what they did on the tennis court, Jimin was left annoyed, hollow. He gave in, like he always does, but in the end he left with nothing but frustration. 

He doesn’t know what more he can say or do to prove to him that he’s not the child Yoongi thinks he is, and that their difference is there only because Yoongi focuses that much on it. Well, Jimin is not dumb. He understands how hard it can be on Yoongi to accept it, and to deal with the ramifications of it in a social context. But why should that be stronger than their feelings, which Jimin doesn’t understand. He doesn’t want to understand it. 

They keep falling into each other, and Yoongi keeps trying to get away from Jimin. Sometimes he manages, something he fails. But it’s Jimin who should be able to put an end to it, because it’s he who is allowing this cycle to keep moving. 

Only when it’s early in the evening, Jimin walks back to the Villa, and as he does so, he looks around the street and notices big illuminations hanging in between buildings. He wonders what it is, and it’s only when he meets Rebecca that he finds out. 

“You and You,” Jimin says, pointing to Taehyung and Jeongguk as he rounds the house to walk toward the dinner table. It’s already filled with food, and Jimin takes place in his usual spot close to Seokjin. They kept the same spot they did the first night, “And you, too,” he said, pointing at Hoseok. “Honestly? Everybody listen if you want to,” Jimin says as he grasps a bowl of cous cous.  “I was walking downtown and they’re having a party! We should go,” Jimin says, but Taehyung tilts his head. 

“Who’s having a party?” 

“The town,” Jimin says as he starts showing food in his mouth. He didn’t realize how hungry he was. Maybe having lunch only with granita and a brioche wasn’t the brightest idea. But no one will have to know. 

“How is a town having a party?” Hoseok asks him, and Jimin turns to look at him. From the corner of his eyes, he sees Yoongi as well. He looks amazing, dressed in a shirt and light blue denim shorts. “And why should we care?” 

Jimin grins, “Rebecca showed me this thing, I think she said the words sagra, and I think it’s similar to a fair, and they are having it down at the city, we need to go!” Jimin insists, and Harin joins the conversation. 

“What is it about?” 

“It’s a celebration held for a Saint, I can’t remember the name she told me but that’s not important,” Jimin says, then he adds, “What matters is that Rebecca told me that if you pay 10€ you get a glass of wine and unlimited refills!” he continues, and that catches everyone’s attention. 

“Okay, now it gets interesting,” Harin says as Hoseok shifts to better listen to Jimin. His chin over his head indicates his most undivided attention. 

“And Rebecca told me many people go there to flirt, I mean— I mean, it’s basically free wine and a high potential of sex intercourse?” Jimin lists and Hoseok nods, listening carefully. 

“I see, I see you doing the work that matters,” Hoseok says as he brings his already wine-filled glass to his lips. “Okay, I’m in–” Hoseok adds, “When are we leaving?” 

Jimin is talking to the table now. “I think when we’re done with dinner? Is it okay with everybody?“ Jimin asks as he scans the table. Everyone has a relaxed look and seems happy about the change of plan. Everyone but one person. 

Yoongi is looking at Jimin with a hard-to-read expression and Jimin’s brow furrow, but that doesn’t clear why he’s so broody. But Jimin doesn’t ask, not that he has any chance to because once they move to the fair, he gets stolen by Taehyung and Jeongguk. He walks with them, the other a few feet behind.

He had missed being with them, and he loves that they are both hanging from his arms, Jimin in the middle. “Okay, now–” Taehyung starts and Jimin fears his next words, given the mischievous smile he displays, “Should we wing you to find someone to sleep with?” 

Jimin laughs but he shakes his head. “I lost my game that much?” 

It’s Jeongguk who laughs now, bringing his glass of red wine to his lips. His arm is covered in tattoos, and Jimin doesn’t remember a time he saw it bare. He’s slowly working toward the chest too, and his left and right are already covered in ink. 

It suits him well and Jimin remembers like it was yesterday the mental breakdown Taehyung had over he’s so freaking hot, should I break up with him? oh my god he’s too much and it was the funniest thing that ever happened because it had happened in front of Jeongguk himself. 

“Your game is up just fine, it’ll be nice to have a nice Italian man on your resume,” Taehyung jokes, and Jimin smiles. He turns around briefly and catches Yoongi looking at him, his eyes still dark and undecipherable.  

“Let’s see what we can do about that,” Jimin says as he down a glass in one go. He doesn’t plan on getting wasted but he misses feeling the funny buzz of alcohol in his system. 

They wonder for a while and Jimin takes in the scene. The street is lined with stalls that sell the most cute and random handmade jewelry, or ceramics, or typical food. Every five stall there’s one representative of a wine cellar, re-filling empty glasses to whoever asks. 

Everything is sunken in warm lights and loud chatter, and Jimin feel himself full of love and gratitude in being here with his best friends and family. He searched for Jihyun, walking on the side hand in hand with Harin, then he look for Seokjin and Namjoon holding one each of Yujin’s hand, rocking her up whenever she ask make me fly make flyyyyy!! 

One thing is missing for it all to be perfect, and Jimin tries to ignore the urge to turn around and walk up to Yoongi, to wrap his arm around his middle, to let him circle his waist and just walk together, laughing and talking and stealing kisses in front of everyone just because they can. Just because Yoongi will allow that to happen. 

But that’s not the case and it probably never will, so Jimin doesn’t turn and keeps walking with Taehyung and Jeongguk, enjoying the night and buying with them stupid silly magnet to hand on their fridge back home. 

Jimin then leaves them alone for a while, letting the couple enjoy their time together. He takes his time studying stalls and he buys some nice jewelry he can’t take his eyes off. He knows he shouldn’t but – “Can I have this one, too?” he asks the seller, who smiles warmly at him. She packs it up nicely, and Jimin pockets it safely. 

It’s nothing special, a simple silver wrist band that Jimin thinks would look lovely on Yoongi. It’s dainty and it doesn’t catch too much attention. 

He doesn’t know where the man is, probably with one of his best friends, and yet he doesn’t ever leave Jimin’s mind. It’s a curse, and Jimin wonders why he had to fall in love with his brother’s best friend. Isn’t it a great cliche? 

“Park Jimiiiiiin,” a loud voice calls him and Jimin gets shaken out of his thoughts by a very drunk Haeun. “You’re here! I think I lost everyone,” she says, slurring her words a bit and Jimin wonders how much she had to drink. 

She doesn’t look her best and Jimin worries that maybe she pushed herself a bit over her limit. “Haeun how drunk are you?” he asks as he circle her waist to help her walk, she is a little bit wobbly. 

She laughs, then giggles, “Not that much,” but Jimin doesn’t believe her in the slightest. “But I lost my glass,” she says with a pout on her face. Thank god, Jimin think as he walk up to a food stall, asking for a bottle of water and a bag of chips. 

“Okay, you’re with me now. What do you say if we eat this and then go back home?” he says, trying to sound convincing, “I’m starving,” he adds, because reasoning with a drunk person is never easy and if they fill like they are being taken care of they will pretend they are fine. At least, that the type of drunk person Jimin is. 

He doesn’t want anyone feeling sick, though, especially Haeun since she has been anything but nice to Jimin. “Oh, that’s a great idea!” she says as Jimin guide her toward a calmer place, finding a spot where they can sit down. 

Jimin opens the bag of chips and slowly starts eating, he hands some to her with the pretense of offering and she accepts. She doesn’t realize that she stole the bag from it and is not devouring everything. “Oh my god, these are so good,” she says as she eyes the chips, “Who would have guessed that lime and pepper would taste amazing as a flavor?” she adds, still some of her words she couldn’t pronounce right. 

Jimin offered her a bottle of water then, “Drink this slowly, okay?” he said as they started heading back to the villa. Thankfully, Jimin was handed the key of one the car they used to drive here, and they manage to get back easily without having to wait for anyone. He sends a text to his brother and to Taehyung as well, explaining the situation. 

“Well, it was a success!” Haeun says in the car, windows open to let air kiss her face. She lost her bubbly and happy demeanour, and is now holding with a tight grip to her seatbelt. 

“Really?” Jimin asks her, his tone doubtful. 

“People are shitfaced, of course it is—“ She says, trying to be humorous, as she closes her eyes hard on a turn and Jimin wonders how close she is to puking up everything she drank. 

Jimin slows down the car, trying to take turns at a very low speed, “If you feel like you need to puke, just tell me and I’ll stop on the side of the road,” Jimin says and she nods but doesn’t use her voice. 

He doesn’t understand how he ended up in this situation, having to take care of the person he least wants to. Not because she has been mean or anything, but she is just a stark reminder of why Yoongi pushed him away from his life. And in the end, it was time lost because they didn’t end up together.

But neither did Jimin and Yoongi. 

He just has to stop believing that one day Yoongi is going to wake up and profess his love for Jimin. He couldn’t even say it back to him when Jimin did. He tried to forget that night, a bit more than a year ago now but it was impossible. 

Parking the car is easy; what’s not is trying to get Haeun to walk inside. “No, I don’t want to– If I lie down, I will vomit, and I’m terrified of it,” she says, and Jimin prepares himself for a long night. Jeongguk is terrified of puking too, and their drunken nights out, when he got to the point of needing that, were endless. 

But at least Jimin knows what he needs to do. 

As they get closer, Haeun decides that she wants to sit by the pool, not the safest option considering her lack of self-preservation right now and her clumsiness but Jimin complies because he doesn’t have it in him to argue with a drunk person. 

He just makes sure to be quick when he runs inside and snatches a bag of sliced bread, thanking Rebecca for leaving it out for them. When he walks back to the pool he finds Haeun lying down on the concrete, her leg up to her knees inside the pool. “The Earth is spinning,” she says, her voice coming out more like a lament. 

“Yeah, it tends to do that,” Jimin says as he sits close to her, sinking his feet in the water as well. 

She opens her eyes and looks at him, unamused at first, but then a smile tugs at her lips. “I brought you bread, you should eat it,” Jimin says as he hand her a piece. 

Haeun doesn’t put on a fight, instead she sit up and with her closed she lean on Jimin’s shoulder. It’s silent between them and Jimin can’t even start to pick out the irony of the moment. “I didn’t plan to get this drunk,” she says with her mouth full of bread. “Thank you,” she says to him. 

Jimin waves her off, “No need to, it’s the bare minimum.” 

She shakes her head, “Not for this- well, for this too, but for the other day at the temples. I don’t know if I thanked you properly,” she says, her voice is low and almost vulnerable and Jimin feel almost guilty in being here, hearing her say this. 

“For that too, no need. You needed to talk with Yoongi-hyung and–” 

She laughs, it’s wet and Jimin wonder if she’s on the verge of crying. “You know, I thought I had found it, with him. That I had found the one, but with time I realized that maybe he was for me, but I wasn’t for him.” 

Jimin stiffens at hearing this, because he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to be trusted with this information because he doesn’t think it’s right, but he can’t say anything to her. He can’t stop her and go like hey you know we almost fucked and we talked for several month and he ignored me to be with you because it would be fucked up, it wouldn’t make any sense and it would just tangle them up on a big mess. So Jimin does the only reasonable thing he can, he offers her more bread. 

“No, thank you,” she says as she shows him the first piece she is still holding. “When he broke up with me, I should have seen it coming.” 

Jimin takes a deep breath, “Did he say why?” 

She nods, “He said that he couldn’t be together anymore, that he was never going to be a hundred percent in out relationship,” she start, “And at first I thought he meant that his job was always going to be his priority, and I said that to him that it was okay. I wouldn’t mind, I knew what I got myself into,” she explain and knows better than to relax at her words. “I remember how he shook his head and then told me there was someone else and that he couldn’t reciprocate my feelings the same way.” 

“He said who?” Jimin asks as his heart is pounding in his chest, he wonders if Haeun can hear it. It feels so wrong for Jimin to be here, to listen to all of this. He really shouldn’t. 

“No, he was evasive about it. Said that it didn’t matter because he couldn’t do anything about it. That’s the most information I was able to get out of him in the ten months we’ve been together,” she says, and that breaks Jimin’s heart because he know Yoongi. 

He couldn’t do anything about it– is he talking about Jimin? Is he saying again that what they have can’t be dealt with? Jimin feels his soul shutter at the raging sound of his beating heart. Even more than before, he wishes to have Yoongi in front of him, to scream at him, being unreasonable, and just argue with him that they could work. 

“What did he say at the temples?” 

“That he cares, but he doesn’t love me. That the timing wasn’t right,” she explains and Jimin listens carefully, because even if he shouldn’t, he feels like this is something more than can help him understand why Yoongi refuses so much to be with him. Or anyone at this point. “He just— He said again he’s not interested and I’m okay with it. I mean— not that much, but at least he was honest about it.”

At this point it feels more like she’s talking to herself, letting out the thoughts that have been brewing in her head in the last couple of days. Or maybe since they split. And it shouldn't be Jimin to listen to this, it should be Harin. It should be someone not involved in the matter. 

 “It’s always been hard to know him, I think he's just really inscrutable and hermetic,” she shares with Jimin and that’s— not true. Jimin wants to scream it. That Yoongi is not inscrutable, that he’s not hermetic. He’s very talkative, funny and open when it comes to his matters. 

Yes, sometimes, like everybody else, doesn’t want to talk about something immediately but with time, when he feels safe, he opens up on his own. He might be hard to read every now and then, but that’s because he chooses to close off, because he’s hurting or because he actively wants to keep something for himself. But that, too, Jimin can understand just by one look. 

Yoongi is so easy to read and so easy to love. And he never withholds information from Jimin, always open to sharing. 

Jimin does know Yoongi. “Like I had to discover through Harin that this place is his. He never shared with me bits of life before, never told me about summer in Italy when he was little. Hell, I don’t even know what his life was like when he was little,” she says, and Jimin starts to wonder how they managed to be together for ten months if she didn’t know anything about it. 

Jimin circles his arm around her, his hand trying to soothe her, moving up and down her back. 

Well, no, that phrasing is incorrect. If Yoongi didn’t let her get to know him. “How was it like with him?” 

For a moment, Jimin thinks she won’t answer, but then she sighs. “It was all too easy, he was always in control, always anticipating my needs and never giving me a reason to doubt that he wasn’t invested. He wasn’t always present, work taking up most of his time, but the moment we shared– it felt good, being with him, and it felt solid,” she says, but then her voice lowers, “But there were times were I could sense that something was off, that he was holding himself.” 

“That sounds like him,” Jimin says, because it feels like the safest option. But it also makes him smile because at least he knows now that Yoongi tries to practice self-control not only around Jimin. “Do you really think it could have worked out between you two?” 

“I– I don’t know,” she says as she accepts another piece of bread from Jimin. “I liked to think of him as the father of my children, but we never even came close to discussing that. I don’t know if he wants a family, if he’d like to be married– I know he proposed once, but that’s because Harin told me, and she knows it from Jihyun.” 

Jimin nods, but she can’t see it. 

“I waited for him to open up, but it never happened.” 

Jimin hums. He rests his cheek on top of her head as she scoots over to him, looking for more comfort. “I think you deserve someone that is as invested as you are, someone that isn’t afraid to give you love and build something with you,” Jimin says, hating how the words resonate through him. 

“I wanted him to be that,” she whispers, and Jimin has to stop the dry, exhausted laugh that threatened to burst out of his throat. Yeah, me too. He keeps quiet, instead he hugs her closer and tries to be as much comfort as possible. He thinks he might draw some from her, too. 

It’s only after a while, as she sobered up a little bit, and they are back chatting lightly, that they hear commotion coming from the main gate. “Okay, bet Hoseok and Jihyun are shitfaced,” Haeun says, and Jimin laughs. 

“That’s easy money, come on give me a real challenge,” he says as they see them walking closer, “I think Harin and Taehyung,” Jimin says as they seal it with a handshake. 

When they walk up to them, they find Taehyung and Jihyun holding each other up, in a funny and nonsensical hug. Jeongguk and Harin are behind them, snickering and taking photos of the scene. “Well, I guess even?” Heaun says as Jimin shakes his head. 

“Can you believe they were the only two people I warned that we were back because you were sick?” Jimin says, making her laugh hard. It draws Yoongi’s attention, who walks closer to them, and he looks mad?

“Can you stop disappearing without warning?” he says, and he’s speaking to Jimin, meeting his eyes but– 

“Oppa, you don’t have to worry. I was feeling sick and Jimin took care of it,” Haeun says as her hand rests on Yoongi’s arm. She might be a little bit tipsy to not notice the situation in front of her, but to Jimin, it’s better like that because realization dawns on Yoongi and what he just did. 

He takes a step back, still his eyes never leave Jimin’s. “I was worried,” he says, and Jimin can see that, in the hard line of his mouth and the way his eyebrows knit together. “Why didn’t you text me?” he’s still looking at Jimin, his eyes never wavering. 

“Oh, Jiminie texted his brother and Taehyung, not a good choice it seems,” She answers for him as Jimin is unable to speak, taking in the way Yoongi only briefly looks over at Haeun. “I think I need to head to bed,” she says then, voice loud, and Jimin looks over at her. “Oppa, can you help me?” she asks, and Jimin sees a bit of himself in her, constantly trying to get Yoongi’s attention. 

Yoongi seems reluctant, but a brief nod from Jimin and he moves. “Wait for me, okay?” he whispers to Jimin as he circles Haeun’s waist to bring her back to her room. 

He would love to pride himself in saying that he didn’t wait for him. But Jimin did. He sat on one of the sun beds by the pool. Thankfully, he managed to grab his book in the meantime, and he spent some time there, reading and putting down notes for Yoongi to laugh about. 

He doesn’t really know how much time has passed, but when his phone buzzed with a text, he doesn't bother checking. He already knew who it was and what it said. He sighs, doesn’t bother answering back. 

His attention gets back to the book, he’s a bit farther in it than Yoongi is, and now and then Jimin opens some of the first pages to read his thoughts. It makes him laugh and giggle:

• very unlikely to happen, do people really growl in real life?

• i’m pretty sure that’s not how seduction works

• oh, you’d love my facial expression for this – i’ll draw it 😴

But some leave Jimin with his heart broken. And he should know better, he should already probably put an end to this thing they have going on but he just can’t. He’s still waiting for him, after all, even after everything they’ve gone through and even now, even after Yoongi disappeared with his ex-girlfriend. Jimin is still here. 

• *big circle + underline* he’s right, he can’t throw away all the future experience he might have 

• i see what you want me to see, but it wouldn’t work

• his repressed feelings are fine if it’s to protect him

He keeps reading for a few more minutes, he checks how many pages are left in the chapter, and thinks that he can manage, even if he’s starting to feel his eyelids heavy. The words swirl under his eyes but he can do it, he hates leaving chapters unfinished. 

He doesn’t realize that he has fallen asleep until he feels himself being hauled up in strong arms. Jimin doesn’t open his eyes, he doesn’t have the strength to, but the clean and fresh smell of his skin, he can recognize it anywhere. “How did you know?” Jimin whispers, his words a bit slurred from sleep. 

Yoongi exhales. He holds Jimin tighter. Jimin hears the sound of a door, and he thinks Yoongi brought him back into his room, but that's not the case because when he feels a mattress under his body, Jimin opens his eyes. For a moment, he’s confused, not recognizing the walls and decorations, but then it hits him. He’s in Yoongi’s room. 

He’s curious; he never thought he’d get the chance to enter and be here. To share this space with the man, but he’s too sleepy to try anything.

“I was doing a check-up on everybody, and couldn’t find you in your room–” Yoongi says as he pulls up a light blanket over Jimin’s body. 

“My book, I was reading–” 

“It’s here on your nightstand, don’t worry,” Yoongi says as Jimin feels the mattress dip as Yoongi lies down, too. “There are Taehyung and Jeongguk in your room,” Yoongi tells him, and Jimin feels his lips curve up as his eyelids grow heavier. 

He hums, “They probably couldn’t reach their own,” he says, a yawn escaping his lips. Jimin curls up in bed, and he wishes he could do more, scoot closer to Yoongi and make his night miserable in the best possible way. But he knows when to pick his battles, and this isn’t it. 

So he sighs, “Good night, hyung,” he says and then Jimin thinks he might have hallucinated it, he feels soft lips against his forehead, leaving the faintest kiss. But he’s too sleepy to inquire, and he falls asleep with the idea that it really happened. 

When he wakes, Jimin turns around in bed and it takes a moment to remember what happened last night. He’s alone in bed and for a moment he really does think that he hallucinated everything. “I made it up, there’s no way–” he says but then he sits and looks around. 

He’s definitely in Yoongi’s room because it’s the only room of the house with memories in it: photographs are hanging from the wall, drawings, and even a racket hanging on the side. 

Everywhere he looks there’s a trace of Yoongi, but he wonders where the man is. He probably went to sleep in another room; the length he goes to avoid being alone with Jimin astonishes him every single time. 

He stands up, then, gathering his things he notices that the book is not on his nightstand anymore. He could swear that Yoongi told him that– he looks at the opposite side and notices it on Yoongi’s side table. 

Jimin sighs, but a smile tugs at his lips. 

When he steps into his own room Jimin shakes his head amused, “He wanted to sleep in your room,” Jeongguk says with a tired smile on his face. He’s awake and sitting, resting his back on the headboard– he’s on his phone, but with his free hands he’s playing with some wild strands of Taehyung’s hair. “And I didn’t feel like arguing with him over this,” he says, and it’s cute, the endearing way he says it. 

“Like you’d argue with him normally,” Jimin pointed out, teasing him. 

Jeongguk flips him off but then he pats the spot close to him and Jimin goes to lay down. “Did he vomit?” Jimin asks him.

Jeongguk groans, “Yeah, it wasn’t pretty–” 

“How long did it take?” Jimin asks, and that makes Jimin snicker. 

“It took him a while and a handful of tears, but he did,” Jeongguk says. They both know how hard it is for Taehyung to puke; there’s just something about it that terrifies him. 

“Today’s going to be interesting,” Jimin says, as a chuckle escapes his lips.

“Don’t say,” Jeongguk replies, then he flicks Jimin on the forehead– 

“Uncalled for–” Jimin says, protesting, but Jeongguk ignores him. 

“Where did you sleep?

Jimin sighs, but thankfully, he doesn’t get to answer– ”Oh my god, you two shut up,” Taehyung groans, taking a pillow and putting it over his head. 

Jimin and Jeongguk burst out laughing. 

Chapter Text

present day

Jimin laughs out loud when it’s time for everybody to get presentable to leave the house. It does take a while but no one’s ready for it, and most of them are cursing the hell out of him for the idea he had the previous night. “Not my fault you all can’t handle some fine tasting of endless wine,” Jimin points out, from where he’s standing. 

He’s on the sofa in the main hall and they should leave in about ten minutes. His brother and Harin decided to book for them all an afternoon class on learning how to make fresh pasta and Jimin is honestly so excited about it. He’s not a great cook, but maybe this can give him a nice start to improve his skills. 

Everyone was pretty excited about the idea, honestly, especially because they would be able to eat what they prepare in the afternoon but given the night before, no one, now, is exhausted to leave the house.

Taehyung walks toward him, fingers massaging his temples as Jimin snickers. “I love you,” Jimin says to him as Taehyung glares his way, groaning. He takes one of Jimin’s hands and puts it on his head. Jimin takes the massage and starts massaging. “Do you want me to take you some painkillers?” he asks because he can only imagine how bad a headache he must be sporting. 

“Already had some, thank you–” 

“Everything fine, Taehyung? You don’t look too good–” Yoongi’s voice comes as he sits on the opposite sofa, facing them both. 

If look could kill, Yoongi would be dead for his next three to five lives, probably. “Don’t speak,” he says and that makes Yoongi’s face split up in a grin. Jimin looks at him and shakes his head. It’s probably going to be a long afternoon. 

He spent the morning by the sea, enjoying the calm and silence that comes from being one of the few people who didn’t get shit-faced. It was nice, but it was also boring because he missed the chaos his friends can create. He failed to tune out his own thoughts. 

Here, right now, he feels more at ease. Especially when Yoongi decided to make it his personal life mission to get on every possible nerve in Taehyung’s body. He sits close to him and starts talking like he’s born to do that, talk. I think no one has ever heard Yoongi saying that many words out loud all at once. 

Taehyung’s face makes Jimin burst out in a loud laugh and that’s probably his tipping point because his best friend gets up and disappears through the door that leads outside. He mumbles something very close to made for each other indeed and Jimin loses sight of him. 

“That was mean,” Jimin accuses but there’s still the ghost of his laughter in his voice. 

Yoongi shakes his head, “That was fun,” he says and then it’s silent between the two of them. 

And Jimin is back with his own thoughts. Yoongi takes out his phone to probably answer some email and he thinks that waking up alone was something that he didn’t particularly like. Did Yoongi even sleep in the same bed? Did he sleep at all? 

A thousand questions run through his mind. Does he really want to avoid Jimin that much? They are alone right now, waiting for more people to join them. “Where were you this morning?” Jimin asks then, not able to stop his mouth. 

Yoongi looks taken aback but he pockets his phone quickly and focuses entirely on Jimin. “Ehm, is that your business because…?” 

Jimin rolls his eyes and he hates to notice the way Yoongi’s shoulders stiffen, his eyes impossibly dark and hard to read. “Becasuse you told me to wait for you, you ditched me and then brought me into your room-” Jimin point out, his finger hold out to count his points. “Do I need to go on?” 

Yoongi’s jaw clench, “You fell asleep outside and your room was full.” 

“You know what I hear everytime you talk? Excuses,” Jimin says and he can see Yoongi recoil back, he was not expecting this kind of confrontation from him. “A whole lot of them because you never take responsibility for your actions.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Jimin sighs, exhausted. “You know what I mean,” Jimin says as he starts hearing voices coming from the stairs, “I can’t keep on giving without taking, Yoongi. It’s now how this works–” 

“This is nothing. I told you that there’s nothing going–” 

“Then you need to make it clearer because since I’ve been here all I got is confused signals,” Jimin says, his voice now getting lower. “I was fine with giving, but you need to let me go if you won’t let me take,” Jimin says as he stands up to follow Taehyung’s steps. 

He doesn’t care right now if Yoongi might think that he’s behaving like a child throwing a tantrum, like he’s not being handed a toy he wants to play with. Jimin needs to protect himself and up until now he didn’t do a great job at it. 

Waking up to an empty bed was the start reminder that he needed to be harsher with Yoongi if Jimin wanted an answer. These days here, he’s starting to believe that this is the only chance Jimin has to be with him and to gather one last answer from him. But up until now all Jimin got is… nothing but mixed signals of what Yoongi wants but doesn’t dare to take. 

“Not mingling with Yoongi?” Taehyung greets him, sunglasses on as he rests against one of their cars. 

Jimin sends him a look and Taehyung raises his hand in defeat, “It’s a fair question, given you slept with him,” he continues. Jimin walks up to him, letting his forehead fall on Taehyung’s shoulder. 

“I didn’t,” Jimin mumbles and Taehyung’s hand rises up and down his spine. “When I woke up he wasn’t in the room,” Jimin whines and he’s an adult, he shouldn’t behave like this but he thinks that he’s allowed to with his best friend. “And he makes me think he cares and then he pulls away, I don’t know what to do anymore–” Jimin says but Taehyung stops him, pinching his side. 

“He care, he doesn’t know what to do with all the care he gives,” Taehyung says, “He’s torn but that doesn’t mean that you should behave like a silly little lovesick and not put up a little fight.” 

Jimin raises up and catches Taehyung’s eyes, his sunglasses now perched on the top of his head, gold lock set back. “What’d you mean?” 

“You know exactly what I mean, don’t play dumb with me,” Taehyung says and Jimin sighs again, his forehead falling on his shoulder again, this time with a little more force. “And I think it’s only fair game,” he continues and Jimin shakes his head. 

“That would be childish of me–” 

“Who fucking cares?” 

“I do, because he already thinks so–” 

Taehyung clicks his tongue against his teeth, “He doesn’t, he would love to think, but he doesn’t.” 

“Why are you giving me hope?” 

“Is that what you think I’m doing?” 

Jimin’s head raises again, “You’re not?” he asks as he studies the face of his best friend. He had deep dark circles under his eyes but he’s still stunning. Taehyung has been blessed with a natural beauty that Jimin only rarely ever sees in people. And his way of collecting himself only adds to that: he’s in control, he knows what he wants and he’s not afraid of asking for it, or taking it. 

He’s not afraid to show his fears and his intelligence, and when he doesn’t know something he asks. Jimin has so much to learn from him. “I’m just stating facts. It’s up to you if you want to be hopeful or not. I don’t know if it’s love, but he’s definitely is something about you and he doesn’t know how to let go–” 

“But–” 

“All I’m saying is, give him a little push and see what happens–” 

“I feel like all I did in the past years was give him little pushes.” 

“Then fucking kicking him in the ass, push him down a set of stair–” 

“You’re meaner when you’re hangover–” 

“Like you don’t know?” 

Jimin laughs as he takes in how Taehyung’s eyes soften looking at him, “But I’m serious, baby, he needs to wake up and you to be his call for that,” he continues and then presses a kiss on Jimin’s cheek. Jimin laughs and abandons himself in Taehyung’s arms. 

“I’m thankful you’re here,” he says as Taehyung squeezes him tighter in his arms. He doesn’t let go and that’s all Jimin needs. 

“You’re not alone, my dear,” Taehyung presses his cheek on the top of Jimin’s head and they stay like that for a while, waiting for everybody to leave the house. Jimin doesn’t really know what he would have done without Taehyung here, without someone who knows him so intimately, someone who he can talk with without any filter. 

He’s a bit lighter, his mind set on what he has to do and Jimin hopes that the afternoon activity can help him with that. Jimin needs to understand things and Yoongi needs to give him the answers he’s looking for. 

“Is it petty of me if I don’t get in his same car?” Jimin asks out loud as everyone starts leaving the villa and walking closer to them. 

“Plenty,” Taehyung says. Nonetheless, Jimin can hear the smile on his lips. “You should definitely do it,” he continues and Jimin’s laugh bubbles out spontaneously and loudly. 

Then he takes Jimin’s hand and drags him inside the car that Yoongi is not driving. 

The drive itself is not long, but the walk to get to the place Jihyun and Harin choose is. They are guiding them toward a set of stairs, cobblestone under their feet and Jimin thinks (he’s plenty sure) that he’s about to die. “Are you even doing Italy right if you don’t get victimized by a set of stairs?” Seokjin heaves out, his breath short, his hand weighing on Jimin’s shoulder for support. 

“I didn’t sign up for this torture, and you old people must be suffering incredibly more–” Jimin brings a hand to his forehead in a dramatic way and Seokjin weighs on him with both of his hand now. 

The older man is alone today, Namjoon staying back with their daughter. He’s no good in the kitchen and it’s the safest option for everybody attending, actually. Seokjin has always been the cook of the couple, “I can wait to see how it’s done. I tried at home but when I boil the pasta there’s always something that goes wrong,” he says when they are on fair ground again. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Yeah, you younglings leave off pre-made noodles–” 

Jimin shrugs his shoulders, “It keeps me alive, it does the job. And I fully plan on looking for someone who can cook for me,” Jimin continues, he doesn’t even try to not look at Yoongi. The man is already looking back but he doesn’t let Jimin in, keeping his face as blank as possible. 

I see, this is how he wants to play this. 

“Us younglings definitely know better,” Taehyung says, one of his arms around Jeongguk’s waist, his tongue sticking out. “That has been my plan all alone,” he says as he press a kiss on Jeongguk’s cheek, which colors a nice shade of pink. Jeongguk’s the one who know how to cook and some time, when he cook at their apartment, he leaves some leftover for Jimin as well. 

Jimin think he might have threatened Taehyung. He can’t break up with him, ever. 

“Will you behave? We’re here. Yoongi-oppa can you handle it? I’m sure they’d rather speak in Italian to check on the reservation,” Harin says. Yoongi moves and as he does so his hand sets on the end of Jimin’s back to gently push him. The touch linger and Jimin’s entire body does something as stupid as to feel electric. He hates Yoongi for being able to do that just with a touch. 

It’s not fair. 

Jimin used to take pride in his composure with boys, not even his breakup with Jiseok broke him like a simple, stupid touch from Yoongi can. It doesn’t make any sense and Jimin has to do something about it, he has to rip the band-aid somehow. Taehyung’s right, as always he would add, but Jimin can’t keep living in this loop. 

Yoongi tried to break it, but it didn’t work. Maybe it’s up to Jimin. 

As they stand outside the cozy store they will make pasta in, Jimin’s mind reels and thankfully he doesn’t have much time to lose himself in more depressing thoughts. Yoongi comes back with a cute guy, dressed in chef attire, called Salvatore, who guides them toward an organized room/kitchen. “You can call me Sal, I know it’s easier to pronounce and quicker to get my attention if needed,” he says in heavily accented English, as he’s presenting himself to his class of many people. 

They aren’t the only ones present and thankfully they get sent to the backroom stations. The get paired, and funny enough Jimin ends up with a stranger– it’s honestly not his fault if Harin and Jihyun are together, if Seokjin got stolen by Hoseok, if Taehyung purposefully chose Jeongguk to help Jimin out, and, lastly, if Haeun was standing closer to Yoongi. 

Jimin stands behind a huge table, its surface metallic and glistening. The guy close to him it’s incredibly tall and fit, and he has a charming smile as he extends his hand to Jimin. “So, stranger, what's your name?” Jimin asks him as he shakes his hand. 

“I’m Adam,” the guy says, he had dark eyes and curly dark hair. He’s definitely very cute, his smile is soft and it falls off his lips easily. 

“Jimin, nice to meet you,” he says and then their attention gets back to the chef who has already started showing the first step they need to take: finding flour and measuring it. Easy. Jimin can do that.

“How come you’re taking a cooking class?” Jimin asks because he’d feel incredibly uncomfortable doing this in complete silence. It appears that Adam might think the same as well because he doesn’t shy away from chatting, and maybe oversharing. 

“- now that you have your flour ready, make a circle right in between until you see again the table surface and–” 

“I want to surprise my girlfriend,” he speaks over Sal and Jimin has definitely misheard something about breaking eggs. Or better, he heard he has to break eggs, he just doesn’t know how many. He eyes what Adam is doing and hoping for the best. 

Jimin raises his eyes to look at him, “We’ve been together in Italy last year and she’s been obsessed ever since with tagliatelle–” she says, butchering the Italian pronunciation, but who’s Jimin to correct him? He probably wouldn’t know any better. He should ask Rebecca, or Yoongi– it would be fun having Yoongi talk to Adam, now. 

“I’m here for work and thought I’d learn how to make them for her at home,” he continues and Jimin stops doing whatever it is with his obscene mix of eggs and flour and leans sideways on the table. 

He crosses his arms over his chest, “She’s been working hard and she’s a foodie enthusiast and I—“ Adam keeps talking and the more he does, the wider Jimin's smile get. He has to admit, it’s cute to see a guy so deeply in love with his partner, so much that talking about it makes his face go cherry red. 

“You’re thinking about proposing, after cooking her dinner?” 

His cheeks redden almost ever more, if possible. “Is that obvious?”

Jimin laughs out loud and it gains some attention, but he gives it no mind. Taehyung turns around, tought, “I hate him, how are we suppose to make pasta out of this?” he says, pointing to his hideous of a mix. Jimin laughs again and point to his own. 

“I’m just hoping for the best,” he says then he gives his attention back to Adam’s hand, trying to follow what he’s doing because he clearly knows better. “It’s cute, honestly.” Jimin says and Adam sighs. 

“Do you think it’s a bad idea?” 

Jimin raises his head, and for a moment he catches Yoongi’s staring back, his hand deep in his own perfectly executed roll of batter. He has his sleeves rolled up, and Jimin traces his veins until they disappear under his clothing. Fcuk. 

“I think it’s lovely, if your relationship relies on simplicity and genuine moments then it sounds perfect,” Jimin says and Adam’s eyes soften. “I hope she says yes,” Jimin says then and a chuckle leaves the other man’s mouth. 

“Fuck, I hope it too,” Adam says as he start using a rolling pin. Jimin follows. Easy. 

“And you?” 

Jimin groans, using a bit too much strength on his not-so-perfectly-made pasta mix. “Complicated, too much time to explain—“ 

“We’re making tagliatelle and eating them together in the next hour. You seems pretty smart, show me your summarizing skill—“ Adams says and Jimin has to give him that, he’s a really good chatting partner. 

Jimin sighs, and then it’s his turn to overshare. “Don’t look but you see the man two stations ahead of us, on the right?” He follows Jimin’s instructions and he doesn’t even raise his head before firing Jimin another question. 

“The one who keeps checking on you every five minutes? Is it your dad?”

Jimin’s rolling pin fall loud on the surface and he gets everyone's attention on him. His cheeks tint pink– “It’s okay, sorry guys!” he says to the class, and then lower “Oh my god- why would you think that? You know what— don’t answer that,” Jimin continues as the chef passes by and openly judges his work, Taehyung’s too who turns around and glares. 

“I hate him, he makes fun of me—“ 

“Honey, we suck,” Jimin says to a still very hungover Taehyung. Jeongguk has an amused look on his face. He’s having his best time. 

“I don’t care, he should be encouraging!” 

“Love, you really do suck. Can I try to fix it?” 

Adam, who is quick at getting things, “Man, you want to die?” 

Jeongguk laughs and Jimin does too in seeing the way Taehyung looks at his boyfriend. “Listen to Jimin’s new friend,” he threatens, rolling pin in his hand. 

“Babe, you could sue Sal in court—“ Jeongguk tries to save it but miserably fails. 

Taehyung’s eyes narrow, “Sal… listen to him, is he your new best friend? Of course, I could sue him, I’d have his head on a plate, with a side of tagliatelle—“ Taehyung continues and then Jeongguk raises his hands in defeat. 

“You’d get him nice and good,” Jeongguk says, and then Taehyung’s surrender, gives him his rolling pin. 

“Please, salvage my tagliatelle,” he asks as he rests his chin on his shoulder. Jimin shakes his head amused. He raises his eyes to look around the room, and he finds everyone pretty focused, except Yoongi– he looks deep in thought as he gazes back at him. What? Jimin mouth but Yoongi turns around, over his own table. 

“Anyway,” Jimin says, catching Adam’s attention again, “Yes, that one. Let’s just say I wish I could make him jealous.” 

“You think you’re not?” 

“I know I’m not—“ Jimin points out as he pushes harder on the rolling pin, Sal says his pasta should be somewhat thick but Jimin thinks it’s definitely not. “Wait, you just thought he was my father, and now you’re sure he’s jealous. That's sick, man.” Jimin says and Adam laughs, he takes a bit of flour and dirty Jimin’s cheek. 

Jimin is too stunned to speak but then Adam’s wink at him, “I didn’t look with attention, by the way he looks at you, that’s definitely not a dad look-” he says, and then adds, “And he keeps gazing back so I figured I’d help

“It’s the way he looks at me that tells you we’re definitely not related?”

Adam says and Jimin can’t wrap his head around it. “He doesn’t look at me like that– I wish–” 

“Do I have to take back what I said about you looking like a smart guy?” Adam continues and Jimin chuckles. He shakes his head. 

“Yes– No, I mean– We have some sort of history but he’s just concerned over my safety.” 

“Why?” 

“Because he probably thinks you’re flirting your way into my —“ Jimin says as Adam raises an eyebrow. 

“I didn’t know that’s what you called being jealous these days,” Adam continues as he takes a knife and Jimin copies everything that he does. He stopped paying attention the moment Yoongi was brought into the conversation. “But okay, if for your safety he’s worried that might happen between us, then let him think that—“ the man standing next to him says and Jimin can’t believe that this is happening, again. 

If Jimin had a nickel anytime someone would pretend to be his something to make Yoongi jealous in Agrigento, in Sicily, he would have two. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s telling. It’s definitely something bizarre. 

When they’re done cutting the pasta in the shape it’s supposed to, they get to cook it and eat it. Jimin thought they would make a big ass table for everybody but instead Salvatore brings them out to a beautiful patio with a small round table made for two people. 

It’s a given that they will eat with their cooking partner and Jimin has to stifle a laugh because the irony of this day is astonishing and Jimin can’t really believe it. But he’s indeed sitting across the table from Adam, glasses of red way before them paired with their cooked tagliatelle. 

Adam eagerly devours his plate while Jimin has to chew a bit longer on his gummy work. He spy on other table and can see that Yoongi is not really eating, and he’s mindlessly listening to what Haeun is telling him. His eyes meet and Jimin and he can feel a shiver run down his spine. 

So, Jimin rest his elbow on the table and gives his attention back to Adam, not missing the twitch in Yoongi’s jaw. “Okay maybe he’s a little jealous,” he says to the man in front of him. 

“And that makes you happy.” 

“I– Yeah. I’ve been trying to get a reaction out of him for a long time, he doesn’t really let go.” 

“And I imagine this has to do with my wrong assumption earlier?” 

Jimin raises his eyes to look at him and then deflates a bit in his seat, he nods. 

“Give me your phone.“ 

You see, two nickel!! 

Jimin chuckles, this time it doesn’t take much to gather what is happening. Is it a thing to help guys in distress like this? “You know this is the first time this has happened, I’m starting to wonder if the universe is telling me something–” Jimin says out loud as Adam smile but tilt his head. 

Jimin tells him about Giuseppe and that makes the man laugh. “We’re simple minded, it’s the fastest solution to get where you want. I’d be pissed as hell if I had to witness this with Olive,” he says and Jimin imagines Olive being the soon to be wife. 

“Is this her number?” Jimin asks as he takes his phone back,  ADAM (HOT PASTA GUY)  is saved on Jimin’s phone and it makes him laugh. 

Adam nods, “I just saved it under a different, very explicit name,” he says and Jimin smile settle. He can’t believe he’s meeting so many people just ready to help him like this, without even being asked. Sometimes humanhood is something heartwarming. “And please, write her anytime because I’d tell her everything about this later and she’ll want to know everything.”

“When can I ask her how the proposal went?” 

“Oh, you can ask her in about one month?” he says, suddenly embarrassed, cheeks red. 

Jimin thinks that’s cute, but his eyes drift to another table, looking for a dark-haired man with deep, mad-as-hell eyes. Jimin doesn’t find him sitting at his table, “Do you want another drink?” 

“I could do another, thank you-“ 

Jimin then gets up with their glasses and heads for the bar where a man refills their wine. He hands him the glass with a smile, “Grazie,” he says, and as he waits Jimin doesn’t turn around to acknowledge the man sitting on a stool next to him. 

“Are you done?” Yoongi asks, his voice low, husky and making Jimin’s body grow covered in goosebumps. 

“What?” Jimin addresses him, leaning on his side to look at the man. He’s dressed in total black and Jimin has to restrain himself, he wishes so badly to be able to mindlessly touch him, to kiss him silly and just be his, in plain daylight. 

“Flirting with strangers,” Yoongi says, “It’s dangerous, Jimin.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you don’t know them, it’s not safe. You don’t know what they’re up to–” 

“I mean, why do you care?” Jimin stops him, then adds, “Also, we should definitely revise your idea of flirting. I don’t know how you did it back in the old times, but usually flirting and meeting people are concepts profoundly linked with people you don’t know.” 

“I’m serious,” Yoongi says, his hand now on Jimin’s arm and then his wrist. Yoongi’s finger wraps around it loosely, he could easily free himself but just the thought of doing so makes Jimin physically ill. He so desperately wants to have Yoongi close. 

Jimin meets his eyes, and for a moment, he thinks he sees the care everybody keeps mentioning to him, the want, the need– but Jimin knows better. He can’t fall in that trap again.  “Who says I’m flirting, anyway? What if I’m just that charming?” 

“Jimin, you have to delete his number.“ 

And that makes Jimin laugh, “I have to? Why?” he asks and he can see the way Yoongi recoils back a bit, not expecting Jimin to fight back. Wrong move on his part. “Who are you to tell me what I have to do?” 

Yoongi closes his eyes for a brief second, as if he’s looking for the patient it needs him to deal with a kid. “I’m not clueless, Yoongi. I know what I’m doing and you need to stop treating me like I’m some stupid child,” Jimin says and Yoongi’s eyes widen, but his mouth set in a deep line, brows furrowed. 

“You’re behaving like one,” Yoongi says and Jimin takes his wrist back. 

“I won’t allow you to belittle me again,” Jimin says to him, voice firm. “You know what I feel about you, and I know you pretend you don’t feel the same. I’m trying to let go and you can’t keep doing this.” Jimin says to him as he start walking back to the table, but fingers closes around his wrist again and Jimin turns. 

“Jimin-ah, I need you to delete his number,” Yoongi says and there’s almost a plea in his eyes, a slight begging in his voice. His fingers are warm, but Jimin has to break this cycle. He’s done giving; he wants to take as well. 

“No, hyung. I won’t. I could but I won’t,” he makes sure to get his point across, then he takes a step closer. “And I’m not saying this to be stubborn, or a child or whatever. I’m saying this because I can easily change my mind,” Jimin continues, his eyes set on Yoongi’s face. He looks caught off guard and he is studying Jimin like it’s the first time he sees him, “You know who has the power to change my decision? It’s you?” Jimin says. 

“I’m done with playing at whatever this is. If you need me to delete his number, I need you to give me something back. Or I just won’t-” he says, Jimin’s hand coming up to fix one of Yoongi’s hair strands behind his ear. “I’ll text him and maybe get to know someone my age, as you seem to be so preoccupied with.” 

“You don’t know him.” 

“And that’s exactly what flirting and dates are for,” Jimin says before walking away and going back to the table. He feels his heart racing and pulsing impossibly loud and even when he sits back down, it takes him a moment before he can get a hold of himself. 

“Our glasses?” Adam asks him, a smile on his face. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry. Don’t make me go back there, I don’t think I can be that–” 

“Cool?” Adam says, “I don’t know what you did or said, but boy, was he pissed!” he continues, and it makes Jimin laugh. 

“I was going to say heartless, but I like you better. Listen, would it be too much if I ask you to go? Maybe we can grab a drink elsewhere and–” 

“Of course, I need to know your interaction verbatim so I can do my boyfriend duty and report the gossip” he says as he stands up and guides Jimin toward the exit. He does take a look back, and finds Yoongi staring. 

The man does nothing, so Jimin walks out of the door. 

When Jimin comes back to the villa, it’s late and it’s dark outside but he can still spot some of the light in the house being on. He had the best time walking around with Adam, getting to know him a little bit better and getting to hear the story of how he and Olive met. Jimin always loves a good old romance born in an academic setting, it felt almost like out of a book. 

Then he explained to Adam what the deal is with Yoongi as they stopped for a midnight brioche with gelato in it. 

It has been fun and Jimin plans on updating him and Olive through texts in the next few days but right now he just needs to go to his room and have a shower, or maybe text Taehyung and tell him everything that has happened with Yoongi, too. 

But as walks into his room, he finds the door open and his brother waiting for him on his bed, Jimin’s book in hand as he flips through the pages to read the notes on it. Fuck, fuck, f u c k. 

“What are you doing with my stuff?” Jimin asks because Jihyun was never allowed to snoop around Jimin’s thing, not even when they were living under the same roof and he had to parent him right after their parent’s accident. 

Jihyun closes the book and puts it aside, Jimin can’t read his face but if he was what’s written inside then maybe this conversation is about to be hard to handle. Not that Jimin has something to hide, he’d scream it to the world but he doesn’t want to put Yoongi in a difficult position. “Where were you?” 

“Oh my god, are we back in time?” Jimin asks, with no real spite in his voice, but bewilderment because this hasn’t happened to him in such a long time. Jihyun's lips curve up. “I wouldn’t tell you back when you had a right to know, imagine if I tell you now–” Jimin continues as he enters his room, he sits on the bed mirroring Jihyun. 

“I saw you leaving with a guy,” Jihyun says, his spy Jimin’s reaction but he gets nothing. 

“We went to eat gelato since my tagliatelle was a total fail,” Jimin gives him something, and Jihyun nods. 

“And you leaving had nothing to do with Yoongi?” Jihyun says as he takes the book and shows it to Jimin, like it’s the proof of his crime. 

“What about him?” He tries to play it cool, as he takes time to brace for impact anyway. But his brother raises an eyebrow, knowing.. 

Jihyun puts the book down between them, then he looks up to search for Jimin’s eyes. “I raised you, do you really think I wouldn’t see it-“ 

“Is the it you’re talking about in the room with us?” Jimin interrupts because maybe  a part of him is still attached to the idea that what they had is just them. Maybe Jimin doesn’t want to talk out loud about it, especially with his brother, someone who knows Jimin inside out, someone close but also someone that can make it very real that Jimin has nothing. He doesn’t want to realize that Yoongi is just like dry sand between his fingers.

“No, not right now. He’s somewhere trying to digest his anger. But I don’t need him to be in the room to talk about the way he looks at you and the way you respond to that,” Jihyun says and it takes a moment for Jimin to gather what he said. What?

“Wait, he’s angry? Why?” Jimin asks, then he quickly adds, “He doesn’t look like anything but like he wants me to go play in the kids section.” 

“Like he wants to give you the world, and you’d let him,” Jihyun says and that makes Jimin’s mouth shut. Because he doesn’t know about the first part, but Jimin can’t lie about the second one. He’d let Yoongi do everything to him, he’d let him give everything and take everything from Jimin. 

Fuck. 

“Am I right, right?” 

Jimin thinks for a moment of lying, he could do that but instead he nods. He can’t look up at his brother so he plays with his fingers. The secret is out and he has to brace himself for the lecture Jimin is about to receive on why he can’t date someone older, one of Jihyun’s best friends and all that jazz.  “I know how it can look from the outside and I swear he didn’t do—“ 

“Don’t break his heart,” Jihyun says and that has Jimin’s head snap up. 

What? Did he hear it right?

“Don’t look at me like that. I know you and I know Yoongi,” Jihyun sighs, then he takes Jimin’s hand in his. He feels taken back to when he had to break the new to him, an equally desperate child having to tell his little brother that their parents were gone. “I know he’s trying to stop you two from happening—“ Jihyun says and Jimin’s mouth hangs open. 

“You know about us? Did he tell you?” 

Jihyun shakes his head, “He didn’t say anything to me, maybe for the same reason you didn’t. But I’d be okay with it, okay?” Jihyun says and Jimin wants to laugh at the irony of it all. His brother would be okay with them being together, while Yoongi can’t even let himself go kiss Jimin. What a fucking joke. 

“I didn’t because he keeps saying there’s nothing to say, because we have nothing–” 

Jihyun chuckles, “You’re stronger than he is when it comes to loving and to admitting it. You’re not scared of the truth like he is.” Jihyun says and Jimin can see why they are each other’s person, why Jihyun is Yoongi’s other half. They just understand each other well. “I need you to look after his heart, Jiminie.” 

“He doesn’t—“ Jimin clears his voice. “Are you sure he didn’t say anything? Where does this come from? We’ve been subtle,” Jimin says and Jihyun’s eyes glint.

“There’s no need to. I can see it—“ 

“You or Harin?” Jimin asks suspiciously because his brother has never been one to be attuned like that. He’s one of those guys who wouldn’t know how to gossip even to save his life. There’s no way Jihyun was so observant.

The rose blush tinting his brother's cheeks gives him away. Jimin chuckles. 

“Anyway, it’s not important how I got it–” 

“It kind of does-” 

“No, it doesn’t-” 

“Do you even love me if it’s not you who understands that your best friend has a thing for me?”

Jihyun pinches the bridge of his nose, and that makes Jimin burst out laughing. “I think it’s more than just a thing, he cares about you and if you don’t—“ 

“I don’t,” Jimin says as confusion settles on Jihyun’s face. “I don’t only care about him. It’s more than that.” Jimin says as he says out loud to the only family he has, it settles in his heart. He’s in love with Yoongi, and Jimin knows he has been for a very long time now. 

“It is for him, too.” 

“You don’t know that, you didn’t talk to him. You don’t know how it started and—“ Jimin panics because he can’t have his hope up, and he can’t have his brother telling him all of this when he doesn’t know anything. Jimin can’t make Jihyun’s words real because Yoongi doesn’t allow him to believe in them. 

Jimin’s heart is beating wildly and he stands up, he needs to move. 

“I think I don’t need to know, even if I’d like to,” Jihyun says and Jimin doesn’t miss the message in the phrase. I’d love to know more about your life, but if Jimin shares, what if Jihyun will be disappointed in him? He can’t have that. But the moment gets lose as Jihyun keeps talking, “I’m used to not being able to finish a conversation with Yoongi because his phone rings with work calls. And I’m okay with it because it is our work and things need to be looked after. But I noticed—“ Jihyun says but cuts himself off when Jimin raises an eyebrow. “Okay, after Harin pointed it out, I started to notice that when he’s around you he forgets the outside world exists. He never picks up his phone when he’s talking to you and he’s attuned to you. He looks at you like he never looked at Haeun, like he never look at any love interest he might have had.” 

Jihyung stops for a moment, then he adds, “The day we had the Harkness meeting, he wouldn’t pick up his damn phone. It was a far shot but I tried calling you, hoping you were together and I was right. He ignores everything else when you’re together–” he chuckles, then continues, “Maybe I shouldn’t encourage this, if he won’t focus on work.” 

“Don’t tell me this,” Jimin’s voice comes out in a whisper and he can feel tears in the back of his eyes. He doesn’t face Jihyun because he doesn’t want to show how hard this conversation is affecting him. 

“Why?” Jihyun asks and Jimin can feel a tear stream down his cheek; he’s quick to dry it away. 

“Because I don't know how to make him understand he can love me if he wants.” Jimin says as his eyes fill up with tears, that wants to slip awa,y but he can’t have that, not in front of his brother. So he looks up and takes a deep breath as he finds the strength to utter his next words, “But I’m starting to believe he just doesn’t.” 

“He came back furious tonight,” Jihyun says then and Jimin can’t help the exhausted laugh that leaves his mouth. 

“He knows what he should do to avoid that.” 

“Jimin-ah, don’t–” 

Jimin then turns around, heart ringing in his ears, “No, don’t finish that sentence Jinu. Just don’t. I’m not going to be easy with him right now, I’ve been easy, I’ve been everything he asked for. You said I’m stronger when it comes to love and loving, but what if I don’t want to be?” Jimin says, his voice breaking as he takes in Jihyun’s eyes, wide and like he wasn’t expecting this form Jimin. 

“I’ve always tried to be stronger, in never letting love failure deter the idea I have of love, but what if this time I want someone else to be braver for me? To try and show me what I mean to them? Is that so wrong?” Jimin asks, “I don’t want to think about his heart, I did enough. I want him to think about mine,” Jimin says and there’s a turmoil of emotions inside of him. There’s so much rage, all the anger he couldn’t show because he understands where Yoongi comes from and he swallows it down, but now– after a year of silence and all the mess that got in between during this week, Jimin thinks he’s done for. Or Yoongi does something or Jimin will have to mend his heart. 

“Does he get a speech, too?” Jimin asks after Jihyun’s silence, but his brother keeps the silence up. He’s thinking, Jimin can see that with his brow furrowed. He’s thinking about what Jimin has said and trying to make the puzzle work with the little piece he has. He’s missing a lot of them. “I’m not mad at you,  and don’t feel like I’m kicking you out but can I go to sleep?” Jimin says as he sits and his shoulder deflates, “I’m exhausted from feeling all of this all the time–” Jimin says as he vaguely points to his chest. 

Jihyun takes him in and then nods, he leans in to leave a kiss on Jimin's forehead. “It’ll work out and if it doesn’t–” 

“I’m okay, hyung, thank you,” Jimin says to reassure his brother, “Go tell Harin everything, come on.”

“I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow for the pre-wedding dinner?” 

“I hate you for making that so confusing,” Jimin says as he gathers his things to go to bed. “What’s wrong in calling it a pre-wedding lunch?” 

“Dinner sounds fancier.” 

“It sounds fancier but still you didn’t want it at dinner because you want to be able to rail your girlfriend then, right?” Jimin points out and it has his brother nodding vehemently. 

Jihyun laughs and Jimin thinks that maybe things will be okay, after all. 

The next morning Jimin sighs in relief, this week it’s almost done and he won’t have to share the same space with Yoongi. Jimin turns around and his gaze fall on his book, he wonder what he would have done if he was in one of those rom-com story, one bed kind of thing. 

Jimin laugh, he think he would have gone crazy, not that he hasn't already done that. He gets up from the bed for his morning swim, it’s relaxing when there’s no one around, no one to chat with and just be. 

When he’s done he thinks of relaxing for a moment on the sunbed and read his book, he’s so close to the end and is desperate to know what happens to the main character- he needs a bit of sugar to the tart turn his love life took. The book is not there though, and Jimin can’t find it anywhere. 

Is it possible he left it in his room? 

He decides then to walk back to check but it’s not in there, too, which is weird. But he doesn’t get to inquire more about it because Taehyung knocks on his door right there and without waiting for an answer he enters and throws himself on Jimin’s bed. “Now, I want to know everything that happened with that cute guy yesterday,” he says. 

“Good morning, Jimin, my best friend in the whole wide world. Did you sleep well?” 

“Are you done? You know I know you didn’t sleep well, so–” Taehyung says, gesturing to him to start talking and Jimin shakes his head amused, but he complies, sitting on his bed with him and telling him everything that happened. He ventures to talk about the conversation with Jihyun as well, and Taehyun never once interrupt him expect for right to the point and necessary comments. 

“And he told me that he care–” 

“That’s obvious–” 

“For who?” 

“Everybody who has eyes and a working brain–” 

“I don’t get what you see, he looks at me like nothing–” 

“And apparently you don’t have eyes anymore and a working brain,” Taehyung says as he pulls Jimin down with him, making room for him in his arms. “But keep going,” he says as he cuddles Jimin. 

So Jimin does and tells him everything, “And honestly, I don’t know what to do with the knowledge he came back pissed as hell yesterday. I should be happy that I got a reaction but has it really done anything for me?” Jimin asks and Taehyung hums. 

“Maybe you should be more straightforward?” 

“More than telling him I love him?” Jimin says exasperated and that makes Taehyung raise up, leaning on his elbow. “I can’t deal with that again, and–” Jimin turns around to catch his phone and notices that it’s almost time to be downstairs for the pre-wedding dinner that is actually lunch. “-Fuck, we have to get ready.” 

Their conversation ends like that but Jimin knows that it will grow in Taehyung’s head and he’ll come back to him with a bullet point of things Jimin could and should do and pretty strong arguments on why it would be better to follow his advice. 

When Taehyung leaves his room, Jimin showers pretty quickly. But he takes his time in styling his hair back, it’s not the official ceremony yet but he still wants to look good. 

The dress he displayed on the bed it’s not the one he’ll be wearing tomorrow, but it’s still one of the finest that Jimin owns and that he paid with his own money. 

It’s a simple suit, of a pastel teal that he loves. He wears a white shirt underneath, tucked inside his pants, a black belt and a simple necklace that ends with a small yet bright diamond. 

His makeup is not heavy, a pinkish glittery eyeshadow, blush and gloss. He likes the way he looks, and he thinks that the pink and the teal go perfectly well together, especially with his tanned skin. 

The lunch will take place outside, but Rebecca put out a huge umbrella that shadows the table perfectly. 

Everyone is dressed kind of fancy, to make it all more important. Jimin likes how they all look, out of a magazine and he wonders what it will be like tomorrow at the wedding. Yoongi is going to be Jihyun’s best man and Jimin doesn’t have any idea of what his suit will be like. 

Some are already sitting and Yujin is running around in the cutest outfit ever, which is the same as the one Seokjin and Namjoon are wearing– a simple black attire, white shirt and a tie. “She wanted to look like us,” Seokjin explains as Jimin crouches down to help her in a little twirl. 

“You look gorgeous, more so than your parents,” Jimin says and she giggles as he grabs Jimin’s hand to make him twirl too. It’s a little more complicated to turn under her small arm but they make it work somehow. 

“Oppa, can we play?” she asks him and Jimin nods, she takes two small racket from her bag that was resting against the back of a chair and Jimin feels his cheeks turn a deep shade of red. 

He tries to send away what happened with Yoongi the last time a racket where involved and focuses on making sure Yujin has fun. He send the small white ball her way, while she just make her best to throw it everywhere. 

It was maybe not a bright idea to play with her under the scorching Sicilian sun of half past noon but here Jimin is and he’d do anything for Yujin, or for kids in general. There’s just something so innocent and joyful about them, kids are open and without prejudice, they love asking questions and Jimin likes that about them. 

It takes several minutes before everyone gathers around the table and Jimin’s breath gets taken away when he notices Yoongi’s all black attire, from the suit to the jacket. He’s not wearing a tie, but he has the first few buttons open, leaving candid chest for everyone to see and if Jimin blames the heat, can he faint?  

But right behind him there’s Jihyun, who is visibly nervous and he should know better. “He can hold a meeting with freaking sharks, talking huge money and look at him now–” Yoongi jokes and that starts a spiraling of mocking that Jimin finds hilarious. 

“Can you believe a week in Sicily and he’s as pale as a ghost?” comes Namjoon and Jihyun narrows his eyes at all of them. 

“I didn’t know my brother was terrified of lunches,” Jimin says, joining in. 

“Look, his teeth are chattering like it’s cold,” says Hoseok and it goes on for a while longer, and he allows Taehyung and Jeongguk to joke about it too, but when Harin joins them, in a simple cream dress, they all watch in awe. “You guys are fucking moron, but I love you for that-” she says, “Keep going, don’t stop,” she continues as she walks up to Jihyun. 

“Don’t encourage them. Fuck you–” he says to the person at the table, but he does so with a huge smile on his face. His nervousness went the moment Harin walked out on the patio where they’re at. “It makes it real, we’ve been waiting for so long and we’re so close,” it makes Jimin want to cry to see his brother so happy, so in love. 

There’s a tug at his heart and his eyes shift to look for Yoongi, he finds him a few feet away and he doesn’t realize Jimin is staring at him because he’s looking at his best friend. And Jimin should do the same– watching his brother, not Taehyung. But he just can’t because he wonders what it would be like to experience the same love his brother has with Yoongi. 

Because there’s no one else in Jimin’s heart or in his mind that could take his place right now. He knows he should move on, and if Jimin set his mind to it he knows he would succeed. But deep down, his heart is screaming at him in agony, in pure pain that Jimin is subsiding and ignoring. He doesn’t know how to give peace to it. 

His brother and Harin are both jittery, and they ignore the speech they were supposed to welcome the party with, but no one notices them. That’s something that it’s not necessary right now, they’ll save the good stuff for tomorrow. 

When they sit down, they have been assigned a spot and Jimin is not surprised when Yoongi takes place right next to him, in front of Jimin, Harin (with Haeun by her side) and Jihyun (with Seokjin on his other side) in front of Yoongi. 

The table is full, today it’s only about the people who have been there for a week, on the wedding day there will be many other people flying in, family members and many other friends. 

He finds it hard to address Yoongi by his side while his brother is directly in front of them. It’s slightly uncomfortable for Jimin after what happened yesterday with both of them but he makes it work. “Before we start, me and Harin just wanted to say a few things to you guys,” Jihyun starts and Jimin is happy to notice that he was wrong. They have a speech and Jimin rest back in his seat to listen. 

“We know that it wasn’t easy to move your appointment and stop your daily life to be here with us for a week, but we’re grateful that you did. There’s no other people we would have loved to spend more time together with–” they look at each other and Harin starts to speak, Jihyun getting choked up a bit. 

“You are our family, and living the days up to our wedding with you made it all more special. We love you–” She says as her eyes get wet and Jimin can feel his own tears ready to drop. 

“It’s mutual, we’d do anything for you,” Jimin says as he extends a hand over the table to take Harin’s. She squeezes back, “Like, for example, we’ll not get offended when you’ll say this again tomorrow, nice practice–” Jimin jokes to ease it up for them and the table erupts in laughter. 

Jihyun and Harin look at him, his brother mouthing an i love you that Jimin stores in his heart. From that lunch is easy and comfortable, they all get back to their usual banters. “Can we stay here forever, I don’t want to go back to work–” comes from Seokjin. 

“Nice things to say before your associates,” Yoongi calls him out, “Should we cut the annual gift without you?” he bites but there’s no real spite. 

“If you know how to calculate it, be my guest,” Seokjin says back and it makes Jimin giggles. “He’s so smart but put big numbers before his eyes and you can see him twitching,” Seokjin continues talking to Jimin and Yoongi, for dear god, he pouts. 

“Oh don’t be sad, I can teach you big boys math if you want,” Jimin jokes just to feel Yoongi’s dark eyes on him. And it works, because Yoongi’s gaze shift and Jimin feel his anatomic ability stops, like air stop coming in and just comes all out. He needs oxygen but apparently there’s not anymore. 

But then Yoongi’s eyes shift up, and Jimin follows. Haeun is handing him a serving bowl full of green beans. “Oh, Jimin doesn’t like those,” Yoongi’s voice comes and it takes a moment to reach Jimin’s ear. He turns to gaze at Yoongi and the look on his face almost looks like he can’t believe he said that out loud. “I think I–” 

“He’s right, but thank you.” Jimin says as he takes the bowl just to pass it over to the next person, which happens to be his brother. ”Who in their right mind has green beans as a side dish?” he says out loud, looking straight into his brother’s eyes.

“I can’t believe you come from the same family, if he could Jihyun would only eat those,” Harin says and Jimin makes a disgusted face that makes them laugh. Then, more quietly, he leans toward Yoongi. 

“You remembered,” he says, and it keeps surprising him how many things Yoongi does remember of the things Jimin says. 

“Of course,” Yoongi says, his eyes searching for Jimin’s. His hand settles on the back of Jimin’s chair, his finger playing with the fabric of Jimin’s shirt. Does he realize he’s doing that? 

Yoongi's lips curve up in a smile, his shoulder relaxed, “I’d love to see you try, though, I’ll email you our number and see what you can do–” he says, bringing back the mathematical conversation they were having. 

“He’ll do something way more than difficult than that,” Taehyung cuts in but then he snaps his mouth after one look with Jimin. “Fuck–” 

Seokjin looks around and intrigued. Jihyun as well, “What do you mean?” he asks but Jimin ignores him and Taehyung does too. He look at Jimin, mouthing a sorry sorry sorry that has Jimin shaking his head. 

“Jihyun says you’ve been asked for a PhD?” Seokjin questions and Jimin takes a deep breath. His hand under the table, thankfully he puts on his legs a napkin that he can nervously destroy. 

“I think he said he got a big ass offer from corporate?” Namjoon joins in, letting Yujin eat a small piece of bruschetta with tomatoes. 

“Wait, didn’t the SNU get in contact with you? Or was it still the Swiss program that wants you to be with them?” It's Hoseok this time and Jimin starts to feel the pressure building on his shoulder and inside his chest. He smiles nervously. 

“Fuck, Jinu you must be so freaking proud of this little one here–” continues Seokjin and there’s just something that break inside Jimin. “At his age, everyone is trying to snatch him. That’s a though choice do you have any idea yet what are you going to–” 

“I won’t-” Jimin says then because he can’t have another second of people pushing this on him. Of people talking all together about his future, about his achievement, of how proud his brother is of him. How proud his parents would be. It’s too much and Jimin can’t handle that. 

He sets eyes with his brother and tries to regulate his voice, he doesn’t want to show how nervous he feels. “I won’t do any of that,” Jimin rectifies when he notices the confusion on everybody's face- except Taehyung and Jeongguk. They are the only ones who know Jimin’s steps. “That’s what Taehyung meant, that I–” Jimin hates that his voice breaks, “I will be teaching.” 

“What?” it comes from all around the table but Jihyun’s voice is the loudest to Jimin’s ears. 

Only Yoongi is silent and Jimin can feel his eyes on him, but not like before, it’s more of a reassurance that he’s there. 

Jimin’s finger wraps around the napkin, then it gets loose again and he starts picking at a single strand from it. “I’m not accepting the PhD, or the corporate job or the lab work at SNU,” Jimin says and the confusion grows wider. His brother puts down his fork- he puts down green beans- and the table is suddenly silent. 

“Why?” Jihyun asks and Jimin doesn’t like the defining silence around them, all his eyes following them like a tennis match. It makes him feel like he’s being questioned, like no one at the table believes he can make the right choices for himself. 

He can. 

He did. 

Jimin’s leg starts twitching up and down, shaking without even realizing he’s doing that, “You worked so hard for that and we’re all so proud of you and now you throw it all away?”

And the thing about Jihyun is that he and Jimin might be brothers, and he wouldn’t change that for anything in the world, but they are different. Very. Jihyun doesn’t think before speaking and he doesn’t realize how sometimes things he says can hit in the right spot, in the wrong way. 

Even when he wanted to protect Jimin after he had to step up after their parent’s death. He would speak for him and for him, taking for granted that he knew better what was best for Jimin. And sometimes he did, but others he did not. 

Yoongi’s hand moves too close around Jimin’s, and his attention gets taken away from the conversation. Jimin exchanges a brief look with Yoongi as their fingers slowly slot together. 

When Jimin faces Jihyun again, he’s grown calmer, “I want to teach,” Jimin says, his voice controlled and even. “I will teach, actually, chemistry to kids.” 

The silence at the table is suffocating and Jimin feels like he can implode, if it wasn’t for Yoongi’s thumb going back and forth over the back of his hand. “It’s already settled, I took the necessary course and exams to get the validation. I’ve been assigned already and back from the wedding I’ll start working–” Jimin stumbles in his words because Jihyun is still not talking and everyone is staring at him. 

“I know that– I know that it’s not what you pictured me doing and I didn’t want to bring it up today or any day before the wedding because this week is about you and Harin and–” 

“Who cares? That’s not– why are you throwing away everything you worked for?” Jihyun asks again and Jimin can see it, the confusion and the anger behind his eyes because he wants only what is best for Jimin and there’s no way that he can understand why Jimin is doing what he’s doing. 

Jimin knew it wouldn't be an easy conversation, “I’m not–” 

“Jimin I can’t let you do–” 

“Hyung–” 

“You’re making a mistake. And I need to do what I think mom and dad–” 

“Before saying things you might regret,” Yoongi’s voice cuts Jihyun’s words, almost icely, and Jimin turns to stare at the man sitting close to him, “Listen to his reasons, then you can decide if shitting and throwing away your hard worked for relationship with your brother is a good idea or not,” he says and there’s a staring contest between the two. 

“Let him speak, love,” says Harin in a soft voice as Jihyun’s eyes are still set on Yoongi. 

“Did you know?” Jihyun asks his best friends who tilt his head, confused at the accusatory tone but it’s Jimin who speaks. One problem at the time, please. 

“He didn’t,” Yoongi turns to Jimin and there’s confusion, warmth, encouragement in his eyes even if he really didn’t know anything about Jimin’s decision. How could he know if they didn’t talk for a year? 

Yoongi squeezes his thigh, and Jimin inhales. “Hyung, you’re not my parent–” Jimin start, looking at his brother, “And I’m saying this in the least possible angry way but you’re not mom and dad. You’re my brother and I don’t need you to do what you think they would, because I knew them. I know what they would think.” Jimin says and it takes everything in him to stop the tears from falling. 

Jimin likes to think that they would be supportive, that they would understand and encourage Jimin to keep going. He told himself that when he signed his contract to a school in Seoul. 

Yoongi doesn’t let him go for a minute and Jimin gathers strengths from that. “It’s not up to you to stop me–” 

“Not that he’d be able to–” Seokjin chimes in and it makes Jimin chuckle, it’s wet but it does the job and it dissolves a bit of the tension around the table. 

Jimin takes a deep breath “I– I don’t want to run after a scientific theory or rot behind a desk, even if it pays well. I never felt excited at the idea of working in a lab– well, I mean I love lab work but not forever, not for my entire working life. Or running endless test and constantly proving that investing in science is the right choice, which it is, by the way,” he says and he knows he’s on a roll but he can’t stop now, “But that’s not just for me. I know it would make me happy in the long run, and–” he says and he can see Jihyun’s mouth opening so he hurries. “And what I need from you is to understand, to give me a chance to prove that I can make the right choices for me.” 

“I don’t feel like I’m throwing away everything, I feel like everything I did and learned will help me make Chemistry exciting to learn because I am excited about it, because I love it and got to live it to the fullest. I want to be helpful, hyung, and teaching will realize my wish. I want to give someone else an outlet like Chemistry was for me–” 

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Jihyun interrupts and Jimin meets his eyes. He doesn’t read anything but worry. 

“Because I know you’d be disappointed and I didn’t want that, and to disrupt your wedding that was the last thing I wanted to do–” 

“You thought I’d be disappointed?” Jihyun asks, but then he adds, “Like, In you?” 

“You aren’t?” Jimin questions, his voice tiny like it has never been. Yoongi’s hand closes around him again, and it’s warm. Present.

Jihyun gets up and rounds the table, Jimin gets up as well and gets engulfed in a hug. “I could never, where did you get that idea? Mimi, I only want what’s best for you, always.” 

“So, you’re not?” Jimin makes sure because, apparently, it doesn’t matter that he was offered a PhD. For this, Jimin needs a fucking drawing. 

“The only thing I am about you is proud and constantly worried, if you will allow me that.” 

Jimin giggles, as does the table, as his brother squeezes him tighter and presses a kidd on his temple. “I’m proud of you and the choices you make,” Jihyun says, “I’m sorry if I made you think it wasn’t like that. And I’m sure, one hundred percent that–” 

“Don’t say it–” Jimin begs because he held it together up until now. 

“So would be mom and dad,” Jihyun says, “They would support you no matter what, and I’ll do the same,” his brother finishes and Jimin…He said it, he said what Jimin needed to hear and Jimin’s eyes fill with tears, but this time he let Jihyun see them. “I miss them,” he whispers only for his brother to hear as his arms wrap around Jimin’s body. 

“I know you do, I do too,” they hug and then the table erupts in cheers and tears and all that’s in between. Jimin feels loved and understood and he doesn’t ever want to leave his brother’s arms because it’s home. 

But then he pulls away, “Thank you,” he says to him, and Jihyun presses another kiss to the crow of his head. Then the lunch proceeds in laughter and the table goes back to normal. 

It lasts for quite a while, and Jimin has never felt so free and light, especially because Yoongi’s hand never leaves, always touching Jimin every chance he gets and it feels exhilarating. Like something that Jimin has always wished for but never happened. 

When they are done it’s almost late in the afternoon, and Jimin is still at the table with a teeny tiny cup of coffee in his hands– “So you’re saying if I ask for ice and water she’ll get offended?” Jimin asks Yoongi because he’d die for an americano right now, but at the expense of Rebecca? He would never. 

Yoongi smile is gummy, wide, “I mean, you can try but I don’t know if you’d survive her disappointed look–” 

“Oh, no. I think that could be worse than the idea of disappointing my own brother,” Jimin jokes as he shifts on the seat to gets up. It costs him a lot, because Yoongi’s hand was still on his leg, his thumb drawing circles over the fabric. 

“So, teaching?” he asks as Yoongi follows him, they start walking around the villa. 

Jimin nods, “I had the chance to do that back in Switzerland and I loved it, it made me feel so good and I loved answering questions,” Jimin tells him, and Yoongi listens with attention, his eyes focused. “And those were college students, imagine it with curious kids, who still aren’t tainted from how the word really work–” 

“You’ll be great at it,” Yoongi says, rolling up his sleeves and causing Jimin’s mind to shortcut. As they walk Jimin grabs his phone for a second, and sends a quick text to a newly added number. He texted it yesterday with Adam present, explaining the situation as best as they could without mentioning why Adam was taking past classes. 

Olive was excited and asked Jimin to update him, and he’s doing exactly that… plus, asking for a little something. 

They walk under the lemon grove, “A kid between kids,” Jimin says, to not leave the conversation with Yoongi hanging, but there’s no spite in his voice and Yoongi notices. His smile doesn’t falter. 

“More like a brat among other brats,” Yoongi says, making Jimin laugh. 

“Thank you, for before,” Jimin says, his head pointing vaguely toward the table where the lunch was held. They keep walking and Jimin doesn’t turn around to look at him, but he feel Yoong keeping up. 

The sky over their head is tinted with hues of orange and pink, the sun sliding down the horizon fast. The lemon grove is lit up by small fairy lights, which make everything incredibly romantic. 

Yoongi shrugs, “Your brother tends to over-worry and jump to the worst-case scenario,” he says, “Sometimes he needs a reminder that he’s not losing control of things again,” 

“And you?” 

“Me what?” 

“Do you ever lose control of things?” Jimin asks, he turns around to face Yoongi, to look at his face as Jimin talks. 

Yoongi looks at him, his hand closing in a fist and then opening by his side. The same hand that touched him multiple times, that took from Jimin without giving back. The same hands that reassured Jimin today. The same touch Jimin is doing all of this for, to feel it against him, to feel it calloused yet warm and delicate on his skin. “Jimin–” and it’s the way Yoongi says his name, careful, like if he says it any louder something might break. 

He gets cut off by Jimin’s phone ringing, and Jimin would ignore it if he didn’t know who’s calling. ADAM (HOT PASTA GUY) brightens the screen. 

Perfect fucking timing. 

“Do I have to take this?” Jimin shows it to Yoongi, his jaw clenched tight, his eyes a dark stain in the usual sweetness Jimin finds in them. 

“Jimin,” the tone is hard this time and there’s a shiver running down his spine. What he thought were missed reactions from Yoongi, what he thought were reprimands are really something else. Is Yoongi begging for him to stop. But Jimin doesn’t want to listen anymore, he wants to know what happens if Yoongi reaches his tipping point. What if he loses the control he’s so good at keeping? 

“Not the answer to my question. Do I have to answer him?” He stresses the words of the question so that it’s clear, between them, what Jimin wants. 

Yoongi doesn’t move, it’s like he’s frozen so Jimin starts walking away, phone in his hand that he brings to his ear. 

It all happens so quickly, the way Yoongi closes his finger around his wrist and makes Jimin turn, the hold on his phone is lost. It falls on the ground. Jimin can still hear it ringing but his eyes are set on Yoongi, on how close they are. "With you, I'm never in control,” Yoongi says, his hold is not harsh but it’s firm. Even if Jimin wouldn’t go anywhere anyway, he’s rooted like ivy in its place. Yoongi’s eyes are liquid, and Jimin can’t seem to look away, but Yoongi does, gazing down to Jimin’s lips, “I wish I could be but fuck you, Park Jimin. You make me lose all the control I have.” 

“With you I'm-" 

"Shut up, and show me,” Jimin whispers, his tone so loud that he’s not even sure Yoongi heard him but the man does anyway. 

Yoongi’s eyes search for him, Jimin can see the thoughts running behind them. How Yoongi is evaluating things. “I won’t ask you again, Yoongi, and I have a call to answer–” 

Jimin has thought a lot about this moment, about how it would feel to have Yoongi’s lips on his, and not even all the time he spent thinking about it could have prepared to how exhilarating, hot, and soul-wrecking it is. 

Oh my-

One of his hands holds Jimin close by his waist, the other finds its way to cup Jimin’s cheek, angling him better to deepen the kiss. 

Jimin has thought about different kinds of kisses with Yoongi, all in different scenarios– the slow one, soft and easy, after a long day of work or first thing in the morning.  The hot and leisurely one, in bed when they feel particularly handsy; The happy kiss with more smile and teeth than anything else but this- this goes beyond anything. 

This is starving. This is the kiss Jimin could have never imagined receiving from Yoongi. This is a starving man tasting food for the first time. Yoongi kisses Jimin like he’ll never do that again in his life and his lips are soft. It comes as a surprise to him, Jimin would have thought otherwise, given they are always chapped. “Hyung–” he breathes when they pull away for a second. 

It seems to be a mistake on Jimin’s part, because Yoongi grunt and pull Jimin back in. It makes Jimin’s skin rise in goosebumps, a fire exploding in his lower stomach. 

His lips are plump, soft and expert. Jimin’s hand runs up to link at the nape of Yoongi’s neck, pulling him closer, taking this one thing that he has dreamed about for so long. 

And the kiss, Jimin gets lost in it, warmth spreading in his chest. Is it hope? maybe. The smell of Yoongi’s perfume, so clean and fresh, makes Jimin’s head spin, butterflies in his stomach. 

Yoongi makes little noises that drive him crazy. Jimin parts naturally, allowing Yoongi's tongue to slip inside. 

When they come up for air, Jimin can’t hide his smile, his giggle as he pulls Yoongi closer to press another kiss to his lips. “We’re doing this my way, okay?” Jimin says, his nose bumping with Yoongi’s, not ready yet to have distance between them. 

“Which is?” Yoongi says as he presses Jimin closer to his chest, his lips never leaving Jimin’s skin. If he can’t kiss his lips, he focuses on his throat. 

A moan escapes Jimin’s lips when Yoongi kisses the right spot, under his right earlobe. Jimin’s grip on his shirt tightens, “That we’re both here, in the moment, together. No restrain, I’ve had enough of those,” Jimin’s breath is ragged already, needy. 

My way is that you stay, Jimin thinks but doesn’t say out loud. 

Yoongi’s forehead presses on Jimin’s, he nods. Hope. 

“Go to your room,” the man says and Jimin pulls back indignant, quick. 

“Are you really-?” 

“Let me rephrase, wait for me in your room. Please?” Yoongi says and he says it so nicely that Jimin chooses to not put up a fight, especially because Yoongi pulls him closer before he can leave, his lips catching Jimin’s in a soft kiss, slow but deep. 

Jimin’s head spin. 

But then Yoongi pulls away and Jimin leaves. 

He feels his heart everywhere, his body thumping to an insane rhythm, his blood running wildly in his veins. He feels high on something Jimin never tried, and he did try various things during his college days and parties. It was hard not to try anything. 

But this, it feels entirely different. 

It’s joy, excitement taking control of his every atom. 

They are doing this Jimin’s way and they kissed, Yoongi kissed him. Jimin touches his lips as he closes the door behind his back. He wants to scream, he can’t believe it has happened. Jimin’s head fall back,  a soft thud on the door. “Holy shit,” he mumbles to himself, his eyes moving around the room. 

He spots something bright on his bed and walks closer to it. It’s his book, he takes it in his hands, briefly opening it to notice that Yoongi finishes it. He left some notes that Jimin can’t wait to read but doesn’t get to because the door opens and Yoongi leans against it. 

“I’ve been looking for this,” Jimin says, “You thief.” 

“I gave it back, you can’t accuse me,” Yoongi says as he gets inside the room. He doesn’t get too close to Jimin and for a moment he wonders if he changed his mind, if he’s backing out. 

My way. 

“Did you like it?” 

“You’ll– you’ll find out.” Yoongi says then he closes the door, and walks up to Jimin and sits close to him, still not touching him. Jimin feels the absence of it like he’s suddenly out of air. 

“Is something wrong?” he asks, his doesn’t look up. Jimin doesn’t know if he could handle another rejection from him, not after Jimin’s been clear that if Yoongi stays tonight, then he stays. 

Yoongi is silent for a moment, then he looks up, “Are you sure about–” 

“Yes.” Jimin says, looking up so fast that he thinks his head might fall off. “You?” it’s tentative, small, very close to afraid because the answer scares Jimin. 

Yoongi takes a moment before answering. Jimin brings his knees up to his chest, “I’m afraid, Jimin, of being without control. Me around you is something that terrifies me,” Yoongi shares and Jimin, then, gets closer, ignoring his fears and he grabs Yoongi’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

“I think I like this version of you best, unfiltered, showing and taking what you really want,” Jimin says, “And I’m here, Yoongi. I’m he–” 

Yoongi’s lips are on his again. “Why do you always know what to say?” Yoongi grunts on Jimin’s lips, claiming them. He pushes Jimin down on the mattress, one of his legs in between Jimin’s thighs. “Do you know what you do to me when you say things like that?” 

“I might have an idea,” Jimin says, feeling Yoongi length hard against his hip. 

Their lips meet and clash together, it’s a hard kiss that sets the pace. “Fuck, Jimin–You’re perfect,” Yoongi says as and Jimin really think he likes this version of Yoongi, so unfiltered and saying just what’s on his mind. 

He unbuttons Jimin’s shirt, leaving behind soft kisses to his skin as he trails down. Jimin’s hand in his long black hair. Jimin’s breath is short, his skin reacting instantly to Yoongi’s soft lips. He can feel his smile on it and it makes Jimin’s heart do a backflip. 

“Hyung?” 

Yoongi looks up, “We’re doing this my way, right?” Yoongi nods and then Jimin feels his heart explode, hope taking its place in it to never leave. One of Jimin’s fingers hooks under Yoongi’s chin to bring him up.

 He make Yoongi sit and Jimin is quick in changing their position. He gets up and with only his shirt hanging open he finds a place in between Yoongi’s legs. The man’s hand settles on Jimin’s waist, his thumb drawing circles on the skin. 

Jimin feels like burning, every part of him longed for this for so long. 

Jimin takes his time, his finger grazing every inch of skin as he unbuttons Yoongi’s shirt, removing it from his shoulder. He straddles Yoongi’s lap to  sit on it, his mouth on his throat. Yoongi’s hand travels on his naked tight, kneading flesh and making Jimin’s moan escape his mouth. “I get to touch you too, okay?” Jimin asks because he never could. Yoongi would always say no, locking himself in that last piece of control he had. 

And Jimin understood there that he was always the one in control, even when he wasn’t. 

Yoongi had to force himself to keep it together, not allowing himself more of Jimin than what he took. 

But now– “Yes,” he whispers, his voice a low rumble that vibrates through Jimin, causing a shiver to run down his spine. The look on his face Jimin will remember it forever. Dishelved, and out of breath but with a glimmer in his eyes as he trembles under Jimin’s touch. 

And for a moment Yoongi falters, but then he takes Jimin’s hand and brings it over his cheek. “Your way,” he says and that’s all Jimin needs to lean down, let their forehead fall together and kiss him. 

It’s different from before, it’s a slow kiss, where Yoongi’s hand cups Jimin’s hand, his finger intertwining with strands of hair. Jimin hears his heart in his ear, thumping loudly and he’s sure Yoongi can hear it. 

Jimin’s finger moves, as he pushes Yoongi down, tracing the line of his toned chest until he feels cold with his finger. He unbuckles Yoongi quickly, his mouth moving to trace the skin, leaving open mouthed kisses. “Jimin–” Yoongi’s breath is short, rugged. Jimin can see his chest moving up and down quickly. 

He smiles as he unzips his pants and removes them. It's fun to play with Yoongi over his underwear, teasing Yoongi were he needs to be touched. “You know, I thought an insane amount of time about giving you head.” 

“That makes two of us,” Yoongi moans, covering his eyes with his arms. Jimin pushes himself up. 

“Don’t hide,” Jimin says softly, as one of his hands slips inside Yoongi’s underwear, tentatively touching him. Jimin can’t believe this is happening, and that he’s witnessing Yoongi breath itching, his cheeks pink. 

“Oh really? Did you get off at the idea of me sucking you?” Jimin whispers, as he lower down, his mouth biting on Yoongi’s lobe. 

Yoongi’s already pink cheeks deepen in color. “All the fucking time, it was always you on my mind.” 

“All the time?” Jimin asks and their eyes meet as Jimin moves up. Yoongi cups his cheeks, pulling him down for a searing, hot kiss. It leaves Jimin’s head in a blank state. 

“Do you know how fucking hard it is to not think about you?” Yoongi says, as his lips leave several kisses to Jimin’s throat. “I– I’m not proud of me for–” 

“For thinking about me while you were with Haeun?” 

"With her I made a mistake. I should have never tried anything in the first place because I only led her on something that wasn't reciprocated,” Yoongi says, “Or better, I thought it was but I had forced it on myself,” Yoongi says as he makes sure Jimin looks at him. 

“I-- Jimin, I'm really not proud of it but being with her-”  Yoongi stops, then he winces when Jimin doesn’t stop moving his hand, teasing Yoongi’s head. “Can we not talk about it now?” 

Jimin shakes his head, his wrist gaining speed. “Fuck–” Yoongi moans, “Being with her was the only thing I could think of doing to forget about you." 

"But why did you have to forget about me?" 

Yoongi laugh, it’s dry, almost like he can’t believe that after all he did he’s still stuck in the same place. Well, welcome to the restaurant. "Because look at us now, you make me lose control, and it can't happen." 

"And she?" Jimin feels bad asking, because he has an inkling about the answer but he does anyway. He needs to hear these truths from Yoongi. He needs to know what happened in his mind a year ago. 

"It was easy, with her I could control myself just fine. My feelings, what to share and what to expect. With you-- there’s nothing I can hide,” Yoongi shares, his eyes a bit unfocused because Jimin is driving him crazy. He’s not relenting and Yoongi is so close. 

Jimin feels his heart doing wild things hearing these words, having the man underneath him looking crazed out. 

“Is that what you want to hear?” Yoongi asks as he wraps his finger around Jimin’s wrist, pulling it out and then he a swift motion, chancing their positions. He now hover over Jimin and the sight, “You’re a vision,” JImin says to the older, who blushes furiously. 

Yoongi hides his face for a moment, then he look up to meet Jimin’s eyes. His cheeks are flushed and his lips are cherry lip, plump after being kissed. Jimin pulls him down, claiming another kiss as he help Yoongi remove the last piece of clothing that separates them.  

Being skin to skin– it’s not enough. Jimin needs more, and Yoongi provides. KIssing every inch of his body is not enough, not even when he has Jimin almost screaming his name as the men doesn’t stop sucking his rim, one finger inside. “Hyung, Yoongi-” Jimin moans, and it doesn’t seem to deter Yoongi the fact that Jimin is loosing his mind. 

It only fuels him, and the sounds that come from the men are guttural, almost wild as he pushes another finger in, his tongue helping. “Holy shit–” Jimin whimpers, his legs trembling and closing around Yoongi’s head but the man keeps them close and that causes fire to rise in Jimin’s belly. 

And it’s stupid how horny he feels, how aroused he is right now. But Yoongi knows exactly where to push, how to move his finger and when Jimin is ready for a third one, he knows. “Yoongi, please, please,” Jimin begs, he doesn’t even know for what, but he knows he’s close. 

And if Yoongi keeps pushing on his prostate like that he doesn’t know if– 

“Fuck– Yoongi,” Jimin finger close in Yoogi’s hair, pulling as the man wrapped his finger around Jimin’s length. He couldn’t control it, and he didn’t want to come, not before having Yoongi inside but it was too much. 

Then Yoongi comes up, he searches for Jimin’s lips. “You’re amazing,” the older man says, “Can you do more? I want to make you feel good again,” Yoongi says, leaving open mouthed kisses on Jimin’s throat, “And again,” he continues, leaving a path of kisses that leaves Jimin giggling.

When they’re eyes meet, Jimin feels shy. Yoongi is looking at him with devotion, with anger and with warmth. “All night?” Jimin asks, his voice small as he tries to regain control of his human abilities and function. 

Yoongi hums as he hide in the crook of Jimin’s neck, “I really want to fuck you,” Yoongi reveals and a laugh bubble in Jimin’s chest. 

“I really want you to fuck me, too.”  Jimin says, his voice coming out in short breaths. His fingers trace Yoongi’s naked spine, up and down as the man seems to gather himself. 

“But–” 

“No but. Well, wait. Do you mean it with a double t?”

It takes a moment but then Yoongi's shoulders shake evidently and Jimin lips curve up. Yoongi pinches his side, “That was lame,” he says but there’s still his gummy smile on show. 

“And you’re laughing, so,” Jimin shrugs, happiness dancing in his chest. Then Yoongi sombers and his eyes darken a bit. 

“You make me lose my mind.” 

“You make it sound like it’s such a bad thing,” Jimin teases as their eyes meet, but then Jimin gets lost in Yoongi’s lips, in a slow and soft kiss that is very different from the other they exchanged. “Hyung, please-” Jimin whispers when they pull apart, his heart beating loud. 

“Do you have a condom?” Yoongi asks him, his hair framing his face effortlessly nice. 

Jimin nods as he wiggles away from underneath Yoongi, the man looks at him with a raised eyebrow, “Why do you have condoms with you?” 

As Jimin rummages through his toiletries, he sends Yoongi a look, “Because someone had made it clear enough that he didn’t want anything to do with me, so…” Jimin stresses the last words a bit, “I thought I could have fun anyway,” Jimin adds, “And, are you really whining? It’s coming handy,” he says and Yoongi’s tongue clicks against the inside of his cheek. 

“What?” Jimin asks as he walks closer, and Yoongi grabs his hips and manhandles him on the mattress. 

“I don’t like the idea of someone else with you, like this,” Yoongi’s voice is low, husky. It’s almost a growl that sends Jimin spiraling into pleasure, he needs Yoongi now. “I like the idea of you with me only,” he says as he leans down to steal a kiss from Jimin. 

“And you’re the only one with the power to make that happen,” Jimin says, “Now, do we need to converse more about your jealousy or can we–” Jimin intertwines his finger behind Yoongi’s neck, making sure to get his point across. 

“You’re such a fucking brat.” 

“I’ve been told,” Jimin teases but that’s what it takes for Yoongi to make his move, put on the condom and align himself with Jimin. He hesitates for a moment, searching for Jimin’s eyes. 

The younger raises his hand to cup his cheek, his thumb grazing the soft pinkish skin there. “I’m with you,” Jimin whispers before Yoongi leans down to catch his lips, the kiss so intense that it distracts Jimin just right when Yoongi makes his way in. 

The thing is Jimin has thought a lot about this moment. He has had Yoongi’s hand on him before, but he was sure that it was just an appetizer for what it would be like to be with Yoongi. To feel him in and under his skin. 

As the man pushes his length in, Jimin tries to relax, but Yoongi’s big and even if Jimin has been well stretched it makes his breath itches. “I’m sorry–” 

“No, it’s okay. It’s good–” Jimin says to Yoongi, “Don’t stop.” 

Jimin would end up crying if Yoongi would stop now. This is part of what Jimin has longed for so much time, having this kind of intimacy with the man he loves and having him wanting it too. 

The older keep pushing slowly, only when he’s fully in he bottoms out. Yoongi takes a moment, a shaky breath tickles Jimin’s neck and a giggle leaves Jimin’s lips. It feels surreal, and joy explodes inside of him when Yoongi huffs out a laugh, too. 

Their eyes meet and when Jimin nods, he starts moving, setting a slow pace that becomes maddening by the seconds. They don’t need to speak to get what the other needs, Yoongi knows and Jimin does, too. 

There’s a pull at the end of Jimin’s stomach, something tighter but that feels so good and it becomes increasingly hard to not let go the more it grows, the more Yoongi thrust in and out. 

The more he lets Jimin be his. 

“You’re– fuck, Jimin–” he moan in his ear, and the sound of it makes Jimin see stars. He can’t believe he can be the reason behind Yoongi’s pleasure, just like he has wished so many times before. 

Jimin’s hand travels, touching every inch of skin he can, his nail leaving red marks on Yoongi’s back when it gets too good, too much. When he feels too hot and his mind too blank to do anything else but to feel. 

He’s still a bit sore from his first climax but he likes the sensitivity of it, feeling it a bit more than he normally would. And it’s maddening the way Yoongi praises him, how he guides Jimin through it, like he can’t shut up about how good he feels and how nice Jimin sounds. “So good for me,” Yoongi says, the huskiness of his voice sending shivers through Jimin’s body. 

It’s rough, cut at the edge and Jimin knew it, but hearing it so close, like it– Yoongi’s voice almost tips him over. “Hyung, I need– I–” Jimin tries but he’s incoherent, his mind a whirlwind of sensation. It doesn’t want to think, it wants to dive in sensations, pleasure and never come back. 

Because this is his first time with Yoongi, and they are sharing themselves with each other. Jimin has bared himself naked for Yoongi and– “Jimin, Jimin, fuck– you feel perfect,” Yoongi moans in his ear. 

It makes Jimin’s head spin. 

Yoongi’s hand touches him everywhere he can, like he needs to trace, map Jimin’s body in his memory. Like he’s running out of time.

The thrusts are relentless and they grow in intensity the more they are both running after their climax. The thing is that Jimin doesn’t want this to end, he wants to stretch this moment in time and live it for as long as possible, almost like he too is running out of time. 

It makes Jimin feel so good when he finds his prostate, thrusting there over and over again. It’s like he flicked a switch on, causing electricity to run through every nerve of Jimin’s body. 

Jimin brings their forehead together, their lips meet in something resembling a kiss but it’s actually whispered nonsense that makes Jimin head lull back, his back arch, changing involuntarily the angle of both their pleasure. 

“Holy shit–” Yoongi groans in Jimin’s ear, it vibrates through his chest and all through Jimin’s body. “I’m close, baby–” Yoongi says and that’s–

Jimin doesn’t have any kind of control of what Yoongi does to him, and he comes out loud, Yoongi’s name on his lips. 

Jimin trembles under Yoongi’s touch, the way he called Jimin ringing loud in his ear and in his heart. This is my way.

Yoongi comes right after, crowding Jimin with his arms, trying to not crush him with his weight. Jimin is in pure bliss, and when he gazes at Yoongi’s face, his pink cheeks, his reddened lips and glazed eyes, he knows that Yoongi feels like that, too. 

Yoongi inevitably falls on top of him and Jimin loves it, feeling the other man on him. He should get used to how it feels, so warm and solid. 

Yoongi then pulls out of him, and manoeuvres them so they can lay together one arm wrapping around him pulling him close. So impossible close that Jimin think Yoongi might want their bodies to merge together. 

It’s only after a couple of minutes that Jimin tries to wiggle away but Yoongi’s voice is firm, “No,” he says, his arms pulling Jimin back to him. Jimin smiles, ignoring the butterflies in his belly.

“I’m not going anywhere, I need to take a cloth to clean us.”

“I don’t care, don’t go,” Yoongi says, his eyes closed and his lips in a pout. Jimin swears he has never seen him like this. Needy and clingy. Jimin kind of likes it, a new side of Yoongi only for you to witness and cherish. 

So he complies and lets Yoongi close his arms around him, hiding his face in the crook of his neck and leaving sweet kisses there. “How are you feeling?” Yoongi checks and Jimin giggles, happiness over him like a glove. 

Warm, safe, joyfull, happy. 

But all Jimin can voice out is a simple, “Good,” and Yoongi hums, his fingertips gently tracing Jimin’s waist. He tries hard not to shiver. 

“I’m glad,” he says, a hint of playfulness in his voice. 

“You?” 

“Good,” Yoongi’s voice comes out in a whisper, but he’s so close to Jimin, pressing kisses to his neck and shoulder, that it doesn’t need to be any louder. “Trying to absorb as much as possible of you until I can,” Yoongi continues and Jimin pulls him back to look at him. 

“What do you mean? I’m right here,” Jimin says as he shifts in Yoongi’s arms. Yoongi looks at him with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes and suddenly something ugly starts swirling in his chest, tainting the hope that was there before. 

Yoongi looks up, his hands still on Jimin’s skin. “I know you are. That’s– we talked about this. I can’t be right here. I just can’t Jimin,” Yoongi says and Jimin feels like all the oxygen in the world is being sucked up away, like his body is refusing to cooperate to survive, to the natural reflex of taking air in and then out. 

“What? I– What do you mean?” Jimin can only repeat because yes, he might be the brightest mind but right now he feels dumb, incapable of comprehending what Yoongi is saying and linking it to what they just did. Jimin shakes his head, he didn’t just give himself to Yoongi for this, he didn’t make love to Yoongi to be left heartbroken.

It just doesn’t make sense. 

As he sits back up, already missing the warmth of Yoongi’s body, Jimin speaks with urgency, “You agreed, we said it was my way.” 

“Yeah, and we did it your way,”  Yoongi says and Jimin wants to laugh. 

“You think you behaving like this, is you doing it my way? Like you’re doing me a favor?” Jimin asks as he start getting antsy, angry. Yoongi’s eye widens but Jimin doesn’t give him time to replay, “I don’t understand. Why are you talking like you’re about to leave me here alone?” 

Yoongi looks him in the eyes, and for a moment he looks lost, like a deer in front of two very bright highlights, “Jimin your way means you can touch me, too. That’s it. I can’t–” Yoongi stops, then he adds, “Do you know how much it costs me to do that?” 

“Oh, I’m sorry that fucking me took so much from you. Thankfully you’re making sure there won’t be a next time,” Jimin mock, rage laces with his words. 

“Jimin–” 

“No,” Jimin says firmly. It takes so much to speak his next words.  “My way meant you stay and don’t run the fuck away.” Jimin says as he gets up and starts putting on some clothes. A pair of boxer and his shirt- 

Yoongi does the same, putting on his pants. “I’m not running. I can’t be with you. You know it. It wouldn’t be right and–” 

“Then how dare you play jealous with me? How dare you dictate who I can or can not sleep with? How dare you get mad when I meet someone new?” Jimin knows his voice is loud but he doesn’t care. His finger is pressing now on Yoongi’s chest. “How fucking dare you making me believe you would stay?” he says, his voice breaking as he says so. 

Yoongi’s face is hard to read, his lips in a thin line and his eyes almost black. His hand reach out to touch him, to comfort him maybe but Jimin takes a step back. That, makes Yoongi stops. His face pales and Jimin has to force himself to stand his ground. “I– I can’t Jimin,” Yoongi says, “You know I can’t do that to you,” 

“That’s all you know how to say? That you can’t?” Jimin asks, “I think that it’s not that you can’t, it’s that you won’t,” Jimin continues and Yoongi wants to speak, Jimin can see that but he doesn’t want to hear any more words coming from his mouth, unless it’s that this conversation is a joke, a bad one but still a joke. 

“You said my way, you knew what it meant,” Jimin tears falls, and he can’t do anything to stop. He takes several steps back from Yoongi, his arms hugging himself. He was feeling so safe in his embrace, now Jimin feels like someone removed the ground from underneath his feet. 

“I didn’t think it was that, do you really think I’d take advantage of you like that?” Yoongi asks and then he brings his hand to rub his face, “This is why we can’t be together, I can’t protect you if we’re together—“ 

“Oh my god!” Jimin is exasperated, “Why do I need protection? Whom do I need protection from?” 

“Me!” Yoongi yells, “From me,” he says more quietly, broken.

“Why?” Jimin says, “I don’t understand. Make me understand,” Jimin says and Yoongi, it takes him a moment. The light in his eyes shifts. 

“You’d be stuck with me, Jimin. I can’t make you live everything someone your age should, and I can’t steal that from you. Look at us now, I can’t even give you the joy of being intimate. It’s not right. I need to protect that-” 

“I don’t need your fucking protection. And that’s not protection, as you like to call it. That’s you protect yourself from what you could live with me.” Jimin says and before Yoongi can open his mouth, Jimin adds, “The joy of being together? I was feeling it, right here–” Jimin point to his hear, “I was fucking estatic before you decides to chicken out, to decided for me.” Jimin says then finishes, I’m not easily broken. I might look like it, my past might make me look like I am but I don’t need anyone’s protection.” Jimin spits.

He’s done being nice. It brought him anywhere with Yoongi. “What I need is for you to love me. I need you to stop catering to my every need if you don’t plan to accept that you love me, too.” 

“You don’t know how I feel.” 

“Because you don’t tell me!” Jimin says, “You don’t tell me, but then you pull shit like this-” he gesture vaguely to the room, to the bed, “-and says things and calls me baby,” Jimin continues, “What am I supposed to think? That I’m just a toy you like to play with?” 

“I would never think that of you and you know that.” Yoongi’s voice is harsh, hurried like he needs Jimin to believe that it’s not the case. 

“Then my other option is that you care, that you want me and that you love me.” 

“Jimin–” 

“I’ve been with other men Yoongi, you don’t say and act like you do if you don’t have feelings for the other person,” Jimin says. Yoongi is silent, at a loss for words probably.  “I just need you to want a happy ending—“ Jimin stall, “With me. You kissed me, that has to mean–” Jimin says, his heart loud even if it’s broken into pieces. 

“I shouldn’t have done that.” 

Jimin takes a moment, letting Yoongi’s words hit. 

Okay. 

Jimin raises his eyes and “Tell me you love me, or I’ll leave this room and you can forget about me.” Tears keep streaming down his cheeks, and he’s not afraid to show Yoongi. 

Yoongi keeps his fist close by his side, the knuckles white like it costs him not to reach out and touch Jimin. “I love you, but you already know that. Yoongi, tell me you love me.” 

“I can’t do this to you, Jimin.” 

“Okay,” Jimin says as he lets his hand fall by his side, defeated. “Okay,” he says to himself, in a whisper. 

He walks then, stops at the door, giving Yoongi one last chance. 

The man doesn’t look at him; his back is to Jimin. Like if he doesn’t see Jimin leaving, it’s not real. But it is. The pain in Jimin's chest is a reminder of that. Jimin closes the door behind him, and then he leans against it. 

He hears something breaking from inside, but he doesn’t check, not when his heart is making the same exact sound.