Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

You're growing tired of me

You love me so hard yet i still can't sleep

You're growing tried of me

And all the things i don't talk about

***

That morning when Lloyd woke up he turned on his side and checked the time, 19:22 the clock read. He had to get ready in eight minutes but he was just so..tired. He laid in bed just waiting, and then his phone started ringing, he turned it on to check , it was his father..HIS FATHER WAS CALLING.

He scrambled up to pick the call , “hello”? Lloyd called out hesitantly, the camera turned on and he saw his father in his pajamajas eating cereal. 

“Hello? What do you want” he sounded a bit annoyed.

 “ uh..you called me” “ Hang on a second. Let me- Hm. Must've butt-dialled you. Who is this?” Lloyd sighed, 

“It's Lloyd dad. Lloyd Garmadon, your son?”

Garmadon squinted and said  

“No. My son is totally bald and has no teeth.” Lloyd rolled his eyes,his father hadn’t seen him in years and this was their first conversation. 

“Yeah, well, surprise. I'm not a baby anymore.”  

“Duly noted. How old are you? You're seven, right, you're seven?” the age of when they last talked…

”Sixteen.” “huh” “Just add nine to that…” Lloyd muttered under his breath.

Garmadon cleared his throat “Well, good talk son.” 

as he moved to hang up Lloyd hurriedly headed to stop him “Wait, are you sure there, there isn't a special reason why you might've called me today, on this day, specifically, today?” he said hopefully.

“ Look, I didn't call you, my butt called you.” 

Oh of course, what was he expecting? Of course his father wouldn’t remember his birthday. “Well, no time to chat. Sorry, Dad has gotta go to work. I've got to get that Green Ninja.” Lloyd gulped “yeah..bye dad” “Glad the teeth finally came in. Buh-bye!” the moment it left his lips he hung up. 

Lloyd turned back onto his back, he didn’t want to get up.

          And like bad luck

 His alarm started ringing

He felt itchy

___________________________

As he walked into the school everyone glared at him, well glared more at him. It was probably because of the attack from his father over the weekend.

He got his locker and just as he was about to unlock it Nya, his locker mate, turned to him “hey, this is yours” and she handed him a piece of paper. Without opening it Lloyd already knew what was in it. It was the usual threats and how he should die along with his father. “They put it in the wrong locker again” “thanks” he mumbled, it's not like he wanted them to write them. When he looked back up she was already gone. He sighed and started walking to his first class. The itch was back

“Mr. Garmadon, you're late” his teacher gave him a scrutinizing look “I-Look I was-” he was cut of by the sound of paper ripping, his teacher held out a detention slip that she had wrote, and honestly what had Lloyd been expecting, he took the slip then went to go sit down. As usual the seats around him were conveniently empty.

The bells rang and Lloyd’s head went up at a record pace, he had fallen asleep he mused. Instead of going to the cafeteria for lunch he instead walked around the areas of school that were empty most of the time. But his luck wasn't great, so of course he ran into Kai. Kai is Nya’s brother, and he most definitely hates Lloyd. Kai sneered at him “What you doing here, it's almost deserted or oh wait, are you trying to make some evil plan with your daddy” his tone of voice sounded mocking

 “no , I just wanted to walk around.” he mumbled. Did he sound suspicious ? That wasn’t suspicious was it? He couldn’t tell.

“Oh sure and I'm the green ninja” Lloyd almost laughed out loud, funny. Kai must’ve sensed it or something because he slammed Lloyd against the wall hard. “ What's funny huh.” “no,nothing” Kai scoffed and let go of him onto the ground. “ Just stay out of my way, Garmadon freak.” As he walked away he mumbled” the apple doesn't rot far from the tree” Lloyd flinched.

Lloyd’s next class wasn't much better, they were going to do a worksheet when the alarm went off, his father was attacking…again “thanks Lloyd” everyone groaned at the same time Lloyd asked “can I go to the washroom” his teacher rolled her eyes and let him go

___________________________

“Hey guys what'd I miss” he said into his comm, he was finally in his area, “ just Garmadon thinking he can take over the city again “ he could just imagine red rolling his eyes, then white spoke up “ it is his son's birthday today, maybe it's something about that” wow, someone had actually remembered,well..it was for his father's evilness but hey, a free win is a free win. 

The fight against his father was..tolerable, he accidentally almost revealed his identity but all had went well.

They were now at sensei wu’s place “Ugh I hate that guy” Red mumbled “almost makes me feel bad for his son” Red snorts at the idea, “he goes to the same school as me but i’ve never actually talked to him” Blue says and everyone turned to him. “Blue you just told us what school you go to, we could find out your identity” White said Blue looked at them then said “well..I trust you guys and i don’t mind you knowing”.

Silence rippled through the room before “yeah, Blue’s right, i trust you guys” Cyan spoke , the others started speaking up too “you guys are cool” “I don’t mind” “it should be fine, i mean, as long as you guys aren’t secretly lord garmadon or something” Red joked and Lloyd flinched.

 “I have a problem with it” he said, he didn’t acknowledge he spoke until the others turned to him “what?” Black spoke “I-i don’t want to share my identity” “what don’t you trust us?” Red asked jokingly, but this wasn’t a joking conversion “YES, I don’t trust you guys” he yelled out, everyone looked hurt and he realised his mistake, he hadn’t meant to yell it but… “I’m sorry guys, I'm just not comfortable with you guys knowing my identity” The room was now coated in awkward and hurt silence. 

“I’m sorry guys i’ve gotta go”

( After Green left the mood fell. “ I hate saying this but would you guys mind sharing your identities without Green” cyan says hesitantly “i also hate to say this but i want to know you guys better, plus it would be easier ..right?” blue adds on.

“Fuck it , if Green doesn’t trust us thats fine with me, i’m fine with my identity being known” Red spoke up. “I’m not sure, i trust you guys but i don’t wanna do it without green” black said “I also agree with that” White agreed with Black. 

They did a vote, it ended up being 3:2 

“Well if were doing this i guess i’ll go first” Blue raised his hand as he spoke “i was the one to suggest it” he removed his mask

“Jay?!” Cyan said incredulously as she removed her mask “Nya!?” both Red and Blu-no Jay said with the same tone “wait you know Nya” Jay said “I'm her brother” Red said monochromly removing his mask as Kai “Holy shit why do all of you guys go to my school” Black had said, he and white has been surprisingly quiet , probably the shock. 

Black took off his mask and revealed himself as Cole, a quiet kid who normally stuck to himself. White was the last one to reveal hi

mself as Zane “Holy shit I knew you were a nindroid “ Jay exclaimed happily. )

Chapter Text

Lloyd stared up at the ceiling as he laid on the bed , was he too harsh on them? All they wanted to do was say they’re identities, they trusted each other. But…Lloyd didn’t, sure he’d trusted them with his life, he has many times ,but he couldn’t trust them with his identity. Way To ruin a perfectly good relationship, you always have to mess things up Lloyd.

He sat up and reached under his bed pulling out a razor. It was the only one he owned.

When his mom had found out about his…Extracurricular activities , she'd scavenged his room looking for razors or anything remotely sharp. But she'd neglected to look under his mattress.

He held the razor in his hand, did he want to do this, of course he wanted to, he deserved this. But did he want to do it.

He still remembers

“LLYOD WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING “ she screamed

" why are you going through my stuff "

“ANSWER THE QUESTION LLOYD YOU ARE CUTTING YOURSELF . YOU'RE HURTING YOURSELF LLOYD "

“ YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO NOT ONLY HAVE YOUR FATHER NOT IN YOJR LIFE BUT TO BE BULLIED , HATED , HURT BECAUSE OF HIM TOO"

" Show me your wrists”

" What?”

" Lloyd i said show me your wrists”

" No”

" Lloyd i don't want to argue woth you”

" Then get out"

“LLOYD" she reached for his wrists and almost winced back when she rolled up his sleeves and saw his bandages " Lloyd”

"... Get out”

“Lloyd"

“GET OUT" Lloyd screamed as he pushed her out. Once she was outside he locked his door and fell face flat on his bed

Koko banged on his door “Lloyd, Lloyd you can't do this to me. I'm your mother…Lloyd please.” he could hear her slide against his door “tell me..where did i go wrong"

He can't do that to her. Not again at least.

***

The weekend had gone way too fast and it was now Monday. Why was his only question.

School had been…ok. And then the usual happened. A Garmadon attack.

When he logged onto his comm he stumbled onto…his team.

“Oh my goodness do you remember at school when Jay tripped and ate concrete” Red was laughing " oh shut up Kai. At least I didn't stumble over my words while talking to Skylor” and his heart dropped at Kai. He had a Jay and Kai and Skylor at his school.

Heck Skylor sits next to him in chem, he's pretty sure its one of the reasons Kai hates him…and Kai, his friend, the red ninja, has a crush on a girl named Skylor. He's so fucked.

“Did you giys fucking reveal your identities without me.” And the comms went silent. " Green wait,” white started, " save it.”.

After the fight was done Lloyd stomped into their hideout, the others following him silent and guilty. " You guys seriously fucking reveal your secret identities ,and i repeat secret, without me after i said i wasn't ready”

" Green” he turned to face who was talking he didn't even know who. All he did know was he was mad. “No shut up. Let me guess who you are since we're all revealing our secret identity huh.”

He pointed at red and said " Kai” he pointed at blue " Jay” he turned to cyan. He knew she and red we're siblings so she had to be " Nya” and so by association white was " Zane” and black was " Cole, and let me guess i got it right”

His ‘teammates’ removed their masks
“How could you guys” " “No, why are we acting like we're the problem, why can't you just trust us” Kai spoke up " This just proved exactly why I can't trust you”

“No it just proves that we can't trust you” Lloyd flinched. " I told you guys I'm not ready”." Oh great excuse there huh” Lloyd was starting to get upset, it was one thing to leave him out of this but to then disrespect his boundaries…

“why can't you just show us you. The real you" oh and that was funny " because you guys would hate the real me, you already do. I'm not popular or liked or just a person you'd wanna be friends with” Jay stepped up " hey , we love you because you're you. We'll accept you green, promise "" …guys I “ maybe, maybe he could trust them he removed his mask. They promised

“I-i'm Lloyd, Lloyd Garmadon"

And their faces morphed into disbelief, confusion, hate.Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate.

They hated him. And just spelled out his demise.

He couldn't see what their expressions were , no he wouldn't see. He had to run, run now and fast. He pulled his mask back down and bolted.