Archive of Our Own ^beta

levi, in his 34 years of existence, never once dreamed of a voice singing in his head— let alone a weird sounding one, somewhat nasally and with a funny accent and intonations.

"i really, really, really, really, really, really like you— hello?"

he stirs from his sleep, slowly opening his eyes.

"and i want you, do you want me, do you want me too?"

although blurred in his sleepy eyes, it's obviously a bird, a cockatoo, that's in front of him, or rather, standing on his chest— "what the fuck!" levi scrambles to a sitting position, and the bird flaps its wings as it's forced onto the couch instead. "what the hell."

"hi, handsome," says the bird.

levi turns to the balcony, realizing he's left the door open. the bird jumps onto his thigh, stealing his attention back, and says, "hello, levi. how are you?" it tilts its head to the side, slightly spreading its head crest. "very handsome. nana likes you."

"huh."

headbanging, the bird sings, "hey, i just met you, and this is crazy, so call me maybe!"

"where did you come from?"

the bird jumps onto the backrest of the couch and walks sideways until he's inches away from levi's face. "155."

"15th floor?"

"charlie."

"is that your owner?"

the bird laughs. "nana," it chirps, and then in a softer voice it says, "hello, handsome." it gently presses its beak on his temple. "nana likes you. oops."

levi sighs exasperatedly. "okay, bird, you're starting to annoy me. let's get you back to your owner."

five minutes later, with the bird perched on his right shoulder, levi heads out to the elevator and goes 8 floors up. the bird keeps singing and swaying its head left to right, voice bouncing off the walls, making levi's head hurt. "so damn noisy," he grumbles, watching the numbers on the display go up every two seconds.

once it reaches the 14th floor, the doors open revealing you, who lets out a gasp.

"charlie! you scared me." you look like you're about to cry.

"hello. how are you?" says the bird.

"what— don't you how are you me!" you snap, face twisted in a mixture of anger and worry, but then when your eyes meet levi's you quickly soften.

"you must be nana," says levi.

"i—" your cheeks suddenly become red. "sorry, did he— oh!" you step into the elevator just as the doors start to close. levi quickly presses the button to hold them open, and you let out an awkward laugh.

"clumsy." the bird guffaws.

"isn't this—" levi starts to say the same time you gasp, "wait, we're on my floor!" then you laugh, stepping out of the elevator and standing in the middle of the hallway with him.

huh. aren't you just cute.

levi clears his throat. "he wandered into my unit."

"that's a first," you say to yourself. "he just flew away. i hope he didn't ruin anything."

"no. just my sleep."

"oh..." you chuckle awkwardly to that. "charlie, come here." you stretch your arm towards levi's shoulder, where the bird is perched on, and it jumps onto your awaiting hand. "just because you didn't get your pistachios, you're throwing tantrums already," you scold as he walks up to your shoulder, his head hanging low as if in remorse. then you turn to levi and smile, which makes his heart skip a beat. you tell him your name, clarifying that nana is charlie's previous owner and that he just likes to call you that.

"levi," he simply says, leaving out the fact that your pet possibly exposed your secret ten minutes ago.

"hi, levi," the bird says and then laughs right next to your ear as though he knows all your secrets.

you ignore him and say, "may i invite you for a cup of tea?"

levi looks down at himself, wearing only white shirt, cargo shorts, and a pair of slippers. whatever. even you are still in your starry pair of pajamas.

yep. cute.

"sure."

you start to walk back in the direction of your unit. levi follows quietly, hands in the pockets of his shorts. charlie laughs, throwing his head back and then forward repeatedly, and says, "mission accomplished."

you never found early morning walks to be exciting. seriously, only the strong-willed can leave their bed at four in the morning, trading an hour or two more of sleep just to get all sweaty and exhausted from running. that's not fun, not at all.

until you saw him.

it was three weekends ago. you were sitting on the sidewalk for some fifteen minutes already, contemplating going back home even when you hadn't reached 5km yet. he jogged by you, and you never forgot since then how his hair swayed and the way his steel grey eyes briefly looked at your red face. he looked clean in his all black attire, so handsome even if he was all sweaty, bangs sticking to his forehead. that was the first time you saw him and since then, you never failed to wake up at 4:30 am, walking around the condominium complex by 5:15– around the same time he does.

he always has his earbuds on, eyes looking straight ahead, that you couldn't get the chance to make him acknowledge your existence say a good morning or at least nod at him in greeting.

it goes on for two more weekends until you couldn't hold it in any longer.

the next time you see him coming, you step in his line of sight, eventually blocking his way. he only looks at you for a second before stepping to his right. you quickly block him again, smiling impishly when his eyes snap to your face.

he takes his earbuds off and with a raspy voice, asks, "what's your problem?"

"my problem is that i don't know your name."

his brows almost knit together. "what?"

you introduce yourself, then you ask his name, and to your surprise, he answers in a heartbeat.

"levi." he puts his earbuds in the pocket of his shirt. "took you long enough to finally do something about the staring."

a tiny sharp breath escapes your lips.

levi smirks. "wanna jog together?"

it was two in the morning the first time you called him. he was the only one who showed active on messenger, that small green dot next to the video call button staring right back at you until you gave in and eventually pressed it. you didn't expect he'd answer but he did, two rings into the call, as if he was waiting for you all along. you saw the moon on his back— he appeared to be sitting on his balcony with a cigarette in his other hand.

"you're still awake," he said, and you told him you had a bad dream and wanted to talk about happy things before you tried sleeping again. "like?" he asked, blowing smoke through his nose. "better not be unicorns," he said with a snort, which made you laugh.

you told him about a theme park that just opened somewhere down south and that you missed going to one

"i hate theme parks, but sure," he said.

"sure what?" you asked, blinking at the empty wall across your room.

"tch. i'm saying i don't mind going with you."

.

the second time was the same, except, levi was reading a book instead of smoking.

"nightmare again?" he asked, and you answered with a wordless nod. he set aside the book he's reading and said, "what do you want to talk about?"

levi quietly listened in the next thirty minutes that you babbled about constellations, sometimes looking up at the sky as if he was trying to find the pattern you were currently talking about.

.

the third time you called, you couldn't sleep at all. you had a bad day at work, missing a deadline resulting in your boss snapping at you and calling you names, which made you unable to focus at work throughout the day. it stuck to you the whole day and until at that moment. you told levi about it, but he wasn't in the same department so he asked who your boss was and said, "he's a worthless piece of shit. i'll punch him in the face if i saw him."

he told you to talk about stars again, and you picked right where you left off the last time you were talking— something about monoceros, which levi didn't know existed until now.

"looks like i did end up talking about unicorns," you joked, and levi didn't understand it until he googled what the monoceros constellation was.

.

(next day at work, you found a small unicorn keychain on your desk.)

.

the fourth and fifth time you called, you just wanted to. you just felt like it. it wasn't even time for bed yet but you didn't have anything to do between the hours of dinner and going to sleep. you weren't feeling up to watching netflix either.

but if you were being honest, talking to levi at night felt like it was becoming a part of your routine.

he was just coming back from a quick trip to the convenience store. he asked you to keep talking on his walk back and as he went up the stairs to where his unit was located, and when he was back in his room, he went straight to his balcony, sat, and listened to you talk about politics and then life.

two nights later, you called again, asked if he already had dinner, and all he said was, "yes. i was waiting for you." it brought a smile to your lips, and then you talked about out of town trips— from wishing you could go on long vacations to actually planning them out with him.

--

it was a saturday, and you were munching on vienna sausages for late dinner while watching a rerun of a korean variety show when your phone started ringing.

levi was calling.

you hurriedly swallowed the sausage, almost choking on it, to answer the call. you didn't want to keep him waiting. "levi!" you cleared your throat. "is there a problem?"

his phone must be mounted on his bike, showing the upper half of his body and the complex he lives in behind his back. he appeared to be getting ready to leave, hands covered in riding gloves as he put his helmet on.

you always found him hot when he's in his riding gear and in a leather jacket.

you chewed on another sausage as you waited for his response.

when he spoke again, his voice was loud and clear. "i just miss your voice."

you ended up choking on the sausage.

he hopped onto his bike and said, "are you free? the sky's clear. there's a good place i know where we can stargaze. and then you can talk about anything you want and i'll just listen."

you did end up talking about stars again, pointing at the sky as you babbled about how they were made and how they go. and all the while, levi just listened, stealing glances when he's sure you're too focused on the stars to notice.

it's almost 8 o'clock. your eyes are heavy, heavier than your shoulder bag and levi's laptop bag combined— both you're carrying with you. besides the two of you, eight other passengers are trying to get an uber ride or catch a taxi. the traffic is barely moving, the buses are full, and the subway station is out of the question because you'd have to walk for 30 minutes to get there.

and it's cold.

despite the long sleeve turtle neck and trench coat you're wearing, you're still cold. you're wearing heels, after all, thanks to the client visit your team hosted today. your toes and fingers feel like they're about to fall off.

"levi..." you whine, pouting at your husband's back. he's standing on the sidewalk, arms crossed, glaring at the already occupied public vehicles ahead. you get up from the bench, wrapping your arms around his waist and propping your chin on his shoulder. he lets out a tiny grunt, slightly uncomfortable with the public display of affection, but even so, he doesn't push you off.

"let's just get dinner for now. let the rush hour pass."

"i thought you're tired."

"mhm. and sleepy," you hum softly, fingers slipping into the pocket of his oversized hoodie. your hands feel warmer there, plus, you like poking his stomach. "and cold."

"obviously," he says, sliding his hands over yours, locking your fingers together inside the pocket. "christ, you're freezing. it's not even november— tch."

you giggle against his skin, nose buried in the crook of his neck. "you smell so good."

"stop using the cold as an excuse for PDA," he grumbles.

"am i not allowed to show the world how in love i am with my husband?" you coo, nipping his ear. "my cute little husband?"

"ugh. c'mon, let's find a place to eat." he stirs you towards the direction of the restaurants and starts walking without letting your hands go, keeping your chest pressed against his back.

you laugh against his shoulder, walking like a penguin behind him. "levi, we're gonna fall!"

you knew there was something when your grandma insisted you drive them for their yearly outing this year.

you saw the car first — his car — as your group arrived at the designated meetup location. despite your grandma's attempts to stop her friends, the oldies seated behind you kept giggling as you parked next to the other car that's so painfully familiar.

you chose it after all, that color, that model.

"you've got to be kidding me," you groaned, rolling your eyes in your grandma's direction.

"come on, darling, it's been five years." she squeezed your arm and offered a gentle smile.

as if those five years were easy for you.

she hopped out of the car to join her six friends who were already huddled and chattering like high school girls in the parking lot.

you watched him get off his car to join the grannies. you watched your grandma hug him like how she always did years ago.

he looked so different yet all the same. he looked just like the last time you saw him five years ago, before you found out he left for germany.

grumbling to yourself, you killed the engine, grabbed your bag and went out of your car. you ignored him as you approached the grannies, who immediately engulfed you in hugs and kisses, as if you were still the little child they used to pamper with attention. levi's grandma was the last to pull you into a tight hug, and you bit your lip bitterly as you returned the gesture, feeling all too familiar.

"i didn't think you would come, knowing levi's joining us." she looked like she was about to cry.

well, you didn't know. your grandma didn't give you a choice.

you only responded with a smile, glancing at your grandma who's now obviously avoiding looking your way.

like your grandma, you tried to avoid levi throughout the day. driving for the most part of the morning made it easier, but when you finally arrived at your first destination, the grannies just huddled together and walked around on their own, leaving you and levi to your own devices. you went about on your own, putting your attention on anything but his presence. you dodged him when he got too close, and when you heard him calling your name, you pretend you didn't. you knew you're being childish, and that you couldn't avoid him forever — if he did intend to stay for good now — but you weren't ready yet. you couldn't face him or the pain his absence brought you just yet.

the first conversation you shared was during lunch, when the grannies were busy looking at the overhead menu, like students deliberating which meal to try. you were idling behind them when you felt levi materializing next to you, his arms crossed and his eyes glued to the menu overhead.

"it's been a while," he said.

five years? a while?

it fucking felt like forever.

"it is," you replied.

"how have you been?"

you let out a bitter laugh, but you decide this wasn't the right time to talk about it. "same old," you said. "you just disappeared." you turned to him, and your breath caught in your throat when you found him already looking at you.

he was so close you could almost feel his warmth.

your fingers twitched, itching to reach out to him.

god, you wanted to hug him.

levi stepped closer. you heard the grannies calling you, and you gladly used that to escape whatever was about to happen. levi left you alone for the rest of the day, even after arriving at the cabin where you were all going to stay for the night. you walked around for a while, admiring the living room arrangement, the fireplace, and then garden with a pool outside.

it didn't take you long to realize there were only eight rooms.

there were nine of you, and you didn't need to be a math whiz to understand what was going to happen.

your hands started to sweat. hopefully there's at least one room with two beds. you kept praying your grandma or whoever booked this cabin remembered to request for at least one room with two beds.

your knees almost gave out when you and levi went into the last unoccupied room.

you buried your face in your hands, while he murmured, "well... at least it's king sized."

you rubbed the space between your eyebrows, sensing an incoming headache and the need to just cry.

levi, seeing you in that state, said, "i'll just sleep on the couch outside."

"no..." you let out an exasperated sigh, lifting your eyes to his face. "it's fine, i just... i knew this was going to happen." you walked to the bed and sat with another sigh. "if you want to use the restroom, go. i'll just take a nap."

pregnant silence settled in the room. levi sat on the bed as you lied down, your back facing him. you bit your lip as you glared at the wall, and when you felt the mattress dipping, when you sensed levi's body next to yours, you could no longer stop the tears from falling.

"i know that no amount of apologies or explanation could make things right, but i'm sorry. i didn't want to leave, but i had to. i tried to find you, i swear i did, but i couldn't."

he shifted closer, facing you, and then you felt his hand on your arm and you thought you might just combust. "i hope you can still forgive me and that you'd let me make up for it, but if not, it's okay. i'll understand. i just want you to know that i never stopped thinking about—"

you turned to face him, moving closer so that your face is pressed against his chest, hands fisting his shirt.

"i still hate you," you grumbled, no real heat in your voice. "i'll still hate you for a few more days."

"it's okay. i'll take it."

"i thought you got married. i thought your uncle arranged for you to marry some hot german woman."

levi let out a quiet chuckle. and then, as if there was still more space left, he pulled you close to hug you and kiss your head.

"we made a promise, didn't we?"

and you still have that funny ring made out of a gold twist tie in your memory box back home.

you wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing yourself together even tighter. you buried your face in his chest, but he held your chin and made you look up at him.

"i'm not going to leave anymore. and i'm still going to give you a real ring like i promised."

an hour later, the light in your room went off, and behind the door, your grandma giggled with the other grannies when they saw you and levi snuggled up against each other as if the bed wasn't even (ridiculously) big enough for three people.

hearing the twin's excited screaming and your footsteps approaching immediately brings a smile to levi's face no matter how tired he is from today's work. he gets excited too, listening to the locks clicking until the door finally swings open, revealing your smiling face, and instantly, he feels relief washing over him.

"welcome home," you greet, and the first thing he does (always) is to close the gap with a hug, burying his face in the crook of your neck and inhaling the distinct scent of your skin.

"papa!" the twins shriek, arms raised up in the air as they scramble to each side of his leg. he lets you go, albeit a little hesitantly — he hasn't gotten enough of your comforting smell yet — to carry the twins one after the other for them to give a quick kiss on his cheek. you close the door as he walks to the living room, where he'd sit on the couch and let the twins sit on each of his thigh and talk about what they did at preschool today.

"mama... mama said we go to the zoo!" aster pipes up excitedly, crawling across the couch to get his toy dinosaur. "we go see dino!"

levi chuckles. "what's mama been telling you, huh? dinosaurs don't exist anymore."

"papa, i want to see bears," lily says shyly, wrapping her short arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder.

he looks in your direction, your back facing him as you stir whatever it is you're cooking— curry, judging by the smell in the air. he tells aster to stay on the couch, and the boy sits obediently and continues playing with his toys. he's still carrying lily in his right arm as he walks over to you in the kitchen, where he leans against the side of a counter to watch you cook.

you turn to him and say, "made you curry, you said you were craving something spicy yesterday."

"you haven't kissed me yet."

"oh," you chuckle. "haven't i yet?" you step closer, and his left arm automatically wraps around your waist, pulling you quickly towards him.

lily giggles and shrieks, "not in front of me!"

you laugh as you pull away, but then he reels you in again for another (and longer) kiss.

fuck, he lives for moments like this.

"dinner should be ready in a few minutes," you say as you pull away. "go play with the kids while i set the table."

levi sighs softly, feeling the remaining weariness in his bones dissipating when he sees the loving smile on your face. he gently squeezes your waist before joining aster back on the couch.

lily, twirling his hair in her fingers, asks, "papa, why do old people kiss?"

he hums, thinking. "people kiss when they like someone."

"you like mama?"

"i love her. and i love you—" he pokes her nose, earning a fit of giggles from her, "and this little dinosaur right here," he says, ruffling aster's hair.

"mama's kiss tickles!" aster pipes up.

he lets out a short laugh. "also, i kiss her because it completes my day. coming home to the three of you completes my day."

you’re 100% sure hange has a hidden motive behind insisting you dress up as the corpse bride for the company's halloween party. they've been so persistent they even took it upon themself to secure your dress and wig for the event.

you watch nanaba in the mirror as she paints your lips with a peach lip gloss, adding a little bit of lively color on your face. she did a goob job at making you look like emily with the make up and the body paint covering the visible parts of your body.

hange finally makes you wear the dress: a simple white spaghetti strap midi dress with a sweetheart neckline and a light tulle skirt. its corset top, lined with silver lace trimmings, hugs your body perfectly, and you like how smooth and soft the fabric feels against your skin. nanaba adds a waist tie with blue beads on each end for a little detail while hange instructs you to put the wig cap on.

"can't we just style my hair or something?" you ask.

hange shakes their head, carefully putting the prussian blue wig on your head. "no, darling. let's make sure you win 50 bucks for this!" nanaba then styles your wig in a simple half up half down before putting on a floral crown over your head.

"this is too much for just 50 bucks," you sigh.

nanaba pokes your nose lightly. "it's okay. we just want to see you all dolled up."

"doesn't look like a doll to me," you point out, looking at your ghostly image in the mirror.

“alright, time for the heels!" hange excitedly announces.

heels which are actually nanaba's— a pair of off-white nappa leather platform heels with knotted straps that cross over the toes and eyelet detail ankle straps. they look pristine you wonder if nanaba has ever worn them. you begrudgingly put them on, surprised that they fit you perfectly.

“oh my god,” nanaba gushes. “minus the body paint, you look just like a real bride! i’m so proud of myself.”

hange nods in approval. "i wonder how you groom's doing— ow!"

"my groom?" your brows furrow at hange who just got smacked in the head.

the brunette laughs awkwardly. "nope! you didn't hear anything!"

nanaba makes you sit on the vanity table again and says, "why don't you relax while hange and i get dressed?"

"okay..."

you hear them bickering in hushed voices as they leave. you keep yourself busy by watching instagram reels, and then you decide to take a picture of yourself, sending it to your group chat with the caption, anyone else having a grand time getting a complete makeover? erwin and moblit are the first ones to see it, both reacting to the picture with a heart emoji. miche reacts with a surprised emoji.

levi's the last one to see it... and does nothing.

you pucker your lips bitterly— you hoped he'd at least react with his favorite thumb up emoji, but he did not.

oh well.

fifteen minutes later, hange and nanaba are back dressed as B1 and B2 from Bananas in Pajamas, and the three of you have a fit of laughter before finally heading out, all teary eyed and excited for the night.

.

"damn, they really went all out on this event, huh?"

your insides rattle as huge speakers blare DJ Got Us Fallin' in Love all over the convention hall. to your left is the stage, where a dj table is being setup. blinding stage lights flash neon colors on the dance floor, where people dressed in characters from various tv shows are already partying. next to the dance floor are rows after rows of tables and chairs, some already fully occupied. three long buffet tables line up that side of the hall, all filled with an assortment of fancy appetizers, main dishes, to desserts.

you look around, trying to find familiar faces— these are your officemates after all. but there is just a lot to look at and too much noise to absorb that your head starts to hurt.

"no way!" hange gasps, mouth already watering at the sight of the mobile bars. "they weren't lying when they said there'd be booze!" they immediately take off in the direction of the closest one, but nanaba manages to catch them, putting them in a headlock. "it's still too early to get drunk!"

"we gotta find levi and the others first," you point out.

the three of you walk around, sipping cocktails from your paper cups while waiting for a reply from your friends. hange manages to snatch a whole plate of mini burgers on sticks from the buffet table as you all head to an empty table to sit down. nanaba, who has been trying to get a hold of miche for the past five minutes, sighs in relief when her call finally gets answered.

you wish you brought something to cover yourself. you're starting to get cold and a little conscious from all the looks you're getting.

"they should be here soon," says nanaba.

you catch the quick look she shares with hange— a look that tells you something's about to happen, but you decide not to make a big deal out of it.

until you see the boys approaching.

erwin is covered in a slytherin robe. moblit's in casual clothes, his black shirt filled with printed shades of grey color palettes. miche's wearing a complete runner's outfit with a race bib saying nanaba's #1, and a nose-shaped headpiece covering his whole head. and levi—

you burst out laughing. levi's brow twitches, making the big patch of black around his eye look even funnier when it moved.

"what the hell!" hange exclaims, taking huge strides towards levi, and starts shaking him as if he's the one at fault. they whip their head in moblit's direction, making him whimper. "i said victor, from corpse bride, not jack skellington!"

"sorry!" he cries out. "it was too late when i realized i applied too much white paint on him!"

hange only sighs exasperatedly.

"you look stupid," levi says with a snort.

they ignore him, pinching his black cravat. "this is a nice touch, though," the brunette hums appreciatively. "and the hair looks good," they add, combing levi's loosely slicked back hair.

"fuck off," he scowls, swatting at hange's hand.

nanaba nudges you, urging you towards him. "come on, we spent a lot of money and effort on the body paints!"

"is that why you wanted me to win—" you feel someone holding your hand. you turn, breath caught in your throat when you realize levi is already next to you.

your imagination runs wild in an instant— with his hair styled like that, you wish you could see his bare face.

"you look good," he says. "pretty, for a corpse."

your cheeks immediately grow hot. "thanks. you look good too. the cravat indeed is a nice touch."

"tch. it better be, after all the shit moblit put me through."

you chuckle, and he smiles softly at the sound of your voice.

hange snorts. "come on, just kiss already!"

"guys!!!" you all turn in the direction of the familiar voice. eld, gunther, oluo, and petra are approaching, they're all dressed up as super mario characters. "there's a photo booth! let's take pictures!"

your friends are buzzing with excitement as they start heading to where the said booth is located... except you and levi.

he's still holding your hand, fingers laced with yours, looking at you in a way that makes you weak in the knees.

maybe hange's right.

maybe you should really just kiss—

levi moves first, closing the gap, pressing your lips together for a quick kiss.

you blink as he pulls away.

"there," he murmurs with a small smile. but then he leans in again for another kiss, this time a few seconds longer than the first.

"oi! it's halloween, not valentines!" someone shouts jokingly from behind.

you laugh as you pull away.

levi holds your hand and kisses the back of it. "you didn't know, did you?" the two of you start walking into the direction where your friends headed to.

"that we're supposed to be bride and groom? no."

"me neither. i gave moblit a hard time," he admits. "until i saw your picture."

your hands are sweating, cold like the ice cream you're eating.

levi is around— he did show up! you didn't expect he would, you aren't that close to be going out alone together after all, but when you received his message saying i'm here. just looking for a parking spot, you nearly choked on your ice cream.

holy shit. it's real, it's real! you're going out on a date with levi! well, you don't even consider this a friendly date but thanks to hange, the thought has been living rent free in your head since last night.

ten minutes later, your phone chimes again. where are you? you take a deep breath and reply, and a minute later, you spot him approaching. he's wearing his usual black shirt, dark wash jeans, and combat boots, and boy, why does he look even more handsome today?

you gobble up the remaining ice cream cone as he arrives. god, you must've looked stupid.

"hey."

"hi!" you chirp, getting up from the bench. "you came."

"why won't i?" he asks with a snort.

the two of you start walking, but you don't even know where to take him. would he like to get on the roller coaster? what about the anchors away? or the ferris wheel? or the bump cars?

"hange said you don't like amusement parks."

"i don't," he confirms. "it's full of people. and noisy kids." you both glance at the little girl who's already throwing tantrums at ten in the morning. "and the food sucks."

you scratch your head, chuckling awkwardly. "should we go somewhere else?"

"i would've told you last night if i didn't want to come here."

"yeah, but... would you even enjoy?"

he looks at you for a second, face unreadable. "who knows."

you don't know what to make of that.

you walk around for a few minutes until he asks which ride you want to try first. you grab a map of the park and decide on the closest one, an interactive motion theater where players are equipped with 3d glasses and light guns to fight off and defeat on-screen characters and score points. you go to the 4d theater next, where a kiddie action movie about a family is trapped in a video game is currently playing. you skip the Anchors Away, both agreeing that the feeling of swinging in a pendulum motion isn't fun at all. you get on the Drop Tower, a ride that goes up at 40 meters high in one-painfully-slow-minute, giving a breathtaking view of the expanse surrounding the theme park before suddenly dropping at 76 kph.

you almost shit your pants, but levi didn't even scream. he even said, "that's it?" and you've never felt so invalidated before.

your last stop before lunch is the roller coaster, where you finally hear him screaming his lungs out—you're torn between screaming and laughing at the colorful string of profanities that graciously came out of his mouth during the two-minute ride. he's never been that loud in the two years you've known him.

you spend another hour away from rides after lunch, aimlessly walking around and then playing some of the skill games instead, like the ring toss (where levi wins a small cat keychain that he gives you) and the bottle up where you need to make a bottle stand on a board without it rolling off using a ring attached to a fishing rod-like tool (you both lost).

you go back to the attractions, trying the milder ones this time, like the flying fiesta, where you sit on rotating swing seats with gradual lifts, drops and tilts, and then the bump cars where levi tortures you by hitting your car all the time, leaving you wheezing in laughter throughout the ride. and then the Swan Lake, where you pedal a swan-shaped boat around a large pond and where you finally talk about how much your week sucked. you're so busy guiding your boat out of other people's way that you don't notice how levi just listens (and sometimes, even stares at you) while you talk.

you decide your last ride would be the ferris wheel, once the sky is dark and the theme park is bright with lights. you grab some hotdog on sticks and sit on one of the picnic tables to pass time.

you watch him staring at the nearby fountain as he eats until you can't help it anymore.

"levi..." he turns to you, and even though you're afraid to ask, the thought has been eating you out throughout the day. "did you have fun?"

"yes. why?"

you beam at him. "really?"

"don't i look like i did?" he questions.

"you did enjoy the bump cars," you point out, remembering the way he laughed every time he hit your car. "i almost died there!"

he lets out a sharp breath that sounds like a laugh. "you're shit at driving."

"says the one who kept hitting my car."

he smirks. and then, "how about you? did you enjoy?"

"yes, oh my god!" you giggle like a child. "i haven't had fun in a while."

"that's good," he says with a soft smile. "means i didn't bore you."

"who said you're boring?" you bump his shoulder with yours good-naturedly. "would you hang out with me again if i asked?"

"just us?"

you nod. and then your heart starts beating frantically in your chest as you wait for his answer.

maybe he's going to say no. maybe you shouldn't have asked at all.

but then he says, "why not?"

you couldn't help but shift a little closer until your arms are pressed together.

it's just 9am but you think you're going to die already— no, you think you're about to melt into a puddle of goo on the floor of your living room and no one will ever know. no one will ever answer your call to have your air conditioner fixed before you turn to goo.

you get on all fours — three, with your other hand holding your cellphone — and start crawling towards your balcony, hoping to get a bit of air. but even the little wind outside is hot and sticky against your skin.

you end the call, bitterly thinking everyone else's air conditioner may be broken and there's no technician left in the whole city to come rescue you, so you start calling your friends instead. nifa's at work, and she tells you to stay in a convenience store and get a slushie for the meantime, and then she'll bring you an electric fan when she gets off work later. you dial rico's number next, but you're redirected to voicemail, where she reminds you that she's surfing in Maui so she can't take any phone call as of the moment.

"rico... i think i'm dying. my aircon is broken, and i haven't bought a new fan yet, and i think i'm dying," you lament. "i love you, always remember that, even if you're a bully."

"your aircon's broken?"

you blink, looking at the screen of your phone. you're still on voicemail and the voice didn't sound like rico's, so...

"miss."

you look to your right, where a shirtless raven-haired guy is chilling on the floor of his balcony with a popsicle ice cream in his right hand and a book in the other. your mouth waters immediately, at the ice cream, not because of his toned abs.

"uh, yeah..." you end the call as you sit on the ground, facing the handsome stranger.

"i can fix it for you," he says.

you scramble to get up on your feet and get closer to him. "seriously?"

"yes. i'm a tech."

"oh my god. i love you already. you're an angel!"

he lets out a sharp breath that sounds like a laugh. "okay. i'll come over in ten minutes."

"alright!"

you hurriedly go back inside to clean up your living room as best as you can within ten minutes, tossing away trash and dirty clothes into your bedroom instead. you hear him knocking on your door ten minutes later, carrying a big tool box and another popsicle ice cream in a DIY package which he gives to you.

"aww, you're so nice. thank you!" and handsome, very handsome, you think. now that you could see him up close, you realize how pretty the color of his eyes are. or how kissable his lips are. or how young he looks with the way his hair is framing his face. and his hair, it looks so soft and the undercut looks hot you—

"so, is it not working at all or..."

"oh, uh, it's blowing warm air."

levi looks up at the window aircon and asks, "do you have a ladder or stool i can use to reach it?"

"yes!" you scramble to your storage room where you keep the step ladder. you see him inspecting your breaker box as you come out of the storage room.

"when's the last time you had it cleaned?"

god, his voice, deep and calm, raspy—

"hey."

you snap out of your trance. "sorry. it's the heat. doing things in my brain," you chuckle awkwardly. "actually, i can't remember. maybe three or four years ago?"

"okay. it could just be a dirty air filter." he sets up the ladder next to the wall.

"if it's not?"

"could be a refrigerant leak, compressor failure, frozen coil, or faulty capacitors..."

your head's spinning, not understanding what he's saying at all. "okay..." you say dumbly, sitting on the couch to watch him disassemble the aircon from the wall while eating the ice cream. "this is good!"

he glances at you and says, "my sister makes them."

"i love the chewy bits of fruit she added!" you gush out.

he's smiling as he pulls the aircon out of the wall. after a few minutes of inspecting it, he confirms there is indeed a leak that needs fixing and that your aircon is in poor condition and needs a good cleaning. he tells you he's got everything he needs when you asked if there's anything that needs to be bought. you leave him alone, keeping yourself occupied by watching an anime show, leaving the couch only when it's time to make lunch. that's when you remember to ask his name.

"it's levi," he says, seated next to you on the dining table. you tell him your name and that you're grateful he is your neighbor because you haven't had luck calling a technician since yesterday.

he goes back to fixing your air conditioner after lunch, and by three-thirty, he's done. he installs it back through the wall opening and tries it out.

"oh my goooood." the cool air makes your eyes roll to the back of your head.

he starts gathering his tools back into his box. "you might want to consider replacing the unit before it breaks again. the refrigerant inside is very hard to come by these days and they are very expensive to replace."

you nod in response. "how much do i owe you, by the way?"

"don't worry about it."

"what? no!"

"it's okay. i didn't use anything that isn't readily available. besides, it's my day off."

"then charge me for your time," you insist.

he waves you off as he gets up and carries his tools box. "it's alright. just try not to die of the heat."

you laugh. "thank you, levi. if you don't want me to pay, can i ask you out for dinner instead?"

he blinks. "as in outside?"

"whatever works for you," you say with a shrug. "outside or here. i'll cook something for you."

he hums in thought. "fine. lunch was good, so i'll come over then."

your cheeks heat up. "you liked what i made for lunch?"

he walks to the door. "yeah. so... see you later then?"

"yes!" you chuckle, butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you see him out. "six is fine? any allergies i need to know?"

"i don't have any." he steps out of your room. "enjoy the aircon."

"see you later!" you say in parting, beaming at him.

"see you."

later that night, he brings you five pieces of the popsicle ice cream, and then he stays for another two hours after dinner when you invited him to watch a movie.

the twins follow you into the living room, carrying with them pieces of christmas decorations to put on the tree. levi follows shortly with the box of ornaments and christmas lights. lily's singing here comes santa claus as she helps you drape the sparkly garland all over the tree. aster disappears, but levi hears him giggling somewhere behind the couch, chasing after a rolling christmas ball.

"mama, is anyone gonna dress up as santa tomorrow?"

levi carries aster on his shoulder, and the boy laughs uncontrollably while swinging his arms and feet in the air.

"yes, but you have to guess who's behind it," you say, poking her nose.

she giggles. "is it papa?"

"hell no," levi says with an eye roll.

but come next night, you find the kids have never left santa's thighs, giggling, pinching his nose, pulling at his fake curly beard, and even poking his stomach.

"santa's supposed to be fat," lily points out, laughing.

"and laughing ho! ho! ho!" aster adds.

"and taaaaaall," says lily.

"tch. you won't get your presents, you brats."

"brat!" aster pipes up, then to levi: "fake santa!"

"oh my god, aren't you three adorable!" hange gushes out and starts taking pictures of them. "smile, levi! it's your birthday!"

"it's only the fourteenth of december," he says flatly.

"guys!" you call out from the dining room, clapping your hands. "time for the cakes!"

"you heard that kids? time for the cakes!" hange coos. lily raises her arms, and the brunette takes that as a demand for a piggy back ride.

"ugh." levi rolls his eyes, getting off the couch with aster now sitting on his shoulders and playing with the pompom at the tip of his hat.

there are three cakes on the table: one decorated with minion toppers and a dedication to aster and lily, another with pink and purple smudge-like decoration at the top and a dedication that says "happy birthday, papa!", and another cake with christmassy theme.

everyone starts singing. lily's clapping her hands over hange's head while aster's drumming his hands over levi's head.

levi couldn't remember the house being this noisy before. sure it became livelier when the twins arrived, but not this noisy, despite how frequent they shrieked and cried when they were still babies. you and the twins love being around his friends and that's more than enough.

moblit and miche pop the party poppers, spreading confetti all around. great, lots of cleaning afterwards, he thinks, but when he hears the twins giggling and sees them catching some of the flying papers with their tiny hands, he supposes a little mess is alright.

you walk over to levi, wrapping your arms around his waist. "happy birthday, baby," you say, kissing his cheek. he turns to face you, uncharacteristically puckering his lips, making you laugh. "i love you," you whisper before kissing him on the lips.

he kisses your cheek and says, "i love you too."

hange and lily start singing i saw mommy kissing santa claus.

"kiss me too! kiss me too!" aster demands.

you get aster so that levi can start slicing the cakes. "mama, mama," he says, hands reaching for your face. you kiss his nose, and he giggles and demands, "more!" you walk over to lily to give her a kiss.

"merry christmas," hange says to you.

you chuckle and greet them back. "thanks for taking care of the cakes, by the way."

"anytime, for my second favorite girl friend."

nanaba turns the radio volume up, and the twins scream excitedly when jingle bell rock starts playing.

"your posture is wrong, you'll never score if you keep pushing with your guide hand."

"i know that!" you quip, taking another shot, only to repeat the same mistake.

levi sighs exasperatedly. "just give me the damn ball."

"no!" you dodge when he reaches for the ball. "gotta win this no matter what it takes!"

you try another shot. you fail.

the game coordinator chuckles awkwardly. "come on, you can do it!" he encourages. "you only need seven if you want the grand prize."

which is a teddy bear— a big teddy bear.

"i want the grand prize," you say, determined. pressured. goddamnit, you want to get the teddy for levi, as a thank you for coming with you. as a remembrance for this day.

you only have ten chances. you already failed two.

you're already on your third game.

this is for levi, you tell yourself. you aim, remember, don't move your guide hand, you throw the ball.

it shoots.

you jump and squeal. the game coordinator cheers for you. levi lets out a sharp breath, amused.

"see!" you huff out at him.

he smirks. "you only have seven left, six points to make."

you repeat the same words in your head like a manta every time you take a shot, and surprisingly it works.

until your fourth try. the ball misses the ring by a hair's breadth.

"nooooo!" you wail.

the game coordinator smiles teasingly. "uh-oh, three left. you have to shoot all three."

"shut up, you're distracting me!" you snap at him, and he laughs, surprisingly not taking it seriously.

your next shot goes in without any problem, thankfully.

"keep the momentum!" the coordinator cheers.

you get into position, reminding yourself what your goal is, then make the shot. the ball hits the board and circles over the ring for a few seconds. both you and the coordinator are chanting for the ball to go in. even the small crowd that has gathered behind you are watching closely.

you don't see levi's wide eyes, as if he's trying to scare the ball to go through the hoop.

it does.

you scream. the coordinator screams. a few people from the crowd squeals.

levi passes you the last ball. you let out a controlled breath as you get into position, imagining yourself in a basketball game.

"go, sakuragi!" shouts someone from the crowd. it almost distracts you.

"you can do it. go get whatever the hell it is you want from those damn bears," levi says.

you swallow, aim, then shoot.

the bear is easily as tall as levi from his head to hips. when he hugs it, its feet go beyond the sides of his waist.

you walk with a bounce in your step as the both of you head to the ferris wheel. there's a long line when you reach the ride, levi tells you he doesn't mind waiting even when it looked like the next turn won't be yours.

you take pictures of him hugging the teddy, giggling like a high school student, and surprisingly, he lets you.

when you gave him the teddy bear earlier, he looked like he was going to reject it, but he didn't. even when he said, "this is stupid," he still took the bear and carried it over his shoulders like it was a child.

and until now, he hasn't let go of it yet. (doesn't even lend it to you)

you hug the bear throughout the ride back home, burying your nose in its head once in a while and smelling the faint scent of levi's perfume that's already stuck on its soft fur.

the silence between you is comfortable. levi drives quietly while you only watch the view change from cars to scenery to buildings as he drives down the highway. at one point he asked if you wanted to grab some food for take outs, but you respectfully declined, having eaten a lot of pizza and pasta already before you headed home.

levi pulls over in the drop off area of your apartment. you unbuckle your seatbelt and then reach over the backseat to leave the stuffed toy there.

"thank you for today, levi."

"thanks, for letting me join." the soft smile he gives you makes you want to kiss him on the cheek.

you fidget with the straps of your bag. you always kiss hange and nanaba on the cheeks. even erwin gets one when he gets the chance to meet the group before going home. but with levi, you've always been careful, a little distant even. you're not that close with each other to begin with, and the only reason why you're in their circle is because you were in the same project with hange, nana, and erwin for almost two years.

"what is it?"

shit. he noticed.

you aren't even sure if you should be asking but… here goes nothing.

“can i kiss you?”

you watch his brows knit together.

"kiss me?"

"yeah, i mean... on the cheek. like with hange or nana. or erwin, sometimes."

he hums, contemplating. "its true, you never did that to me."

you shrug, not knowing what to say. "it's okay if you don't want to. i know we're not that close..."

"tch. did you think i would bite you if you did?"

"no... it's just—"

"c'mon. if you want to kiss, just kiss. you can even hold my hand if you want. i don't really mind."

the corner of your mouth twists in a small smile. "and we're still friends after this?"

"don't be stupid," he says with an eye roll.

you laugh. and then you lean in and kiss him on the cheek for three seconds. his skin is warm and he smells really good.

"you don't kiss them like that," he points out when you pull away.

you grin. "thanks, levi, for coming with me today. i really appreciate it."

"sure."

"and don't get used to the kiss," you joke.

"whatever you say," he says with a snort.

but there's a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"take care of the teddy!" you say as you get out of the car.

he bobs his head in answer. "good night."

"night!" you smile before closing the door and jogging your way into the building.

he waits for you to get into the elevator before driving off.

honestly, he thinks it isn't such a bad thing being a little sweet sometimes.

"you each get five plushies, just five, and then we're going home."

"five??" aster roars excitedly.

"any five?" lily asks shyly.

"yes."

"any size??" aster asks in a high-pitched voice, hands shaking in cuteness aggression.

"yes. now, go, before i change my mind."

the twins squeal before running down the aisle of stuffed toys.

"you're not going to change your mind," you chuckle beside levi. "do i also get five plushies?"

"tch. you already know the answer to that."

you giggle, hugging his arm. "i love you." you repeatedly kiss him on the cheek despite the people around you, and he lets you.

"go now. don't lose the kids."

you squeeze his hand before chasing after your children, like you're a child yourself. levi couldn't help but chuckle to himself, watching the three of you struggle which stuffed toys to pick. he pushes the cart half-filled with pillows forward to follow the three of you.

aster ends up getting six dinosaur plushies. lily has eight dolls, while you only have three- snoopy, charlie brown, and lucy.

.

later that night, levi moves the coffee table to the side and lays out the rolled mattress on the floor. you spread a blanket over it, and then the kids toss the plushies all over the mattress while you arrange the pillows and blankets on the side.

levi turns the tv on and asks, "what are we watching tonight?"

"the grinch!!" lily answers while aster screams, "minions!"

"hm."

the kids start arguing.

"alright, why don't you play rock, paper, scissors? whoever wins gets to choose what movie to watch."

the twins immediately get into position, right hands balled into fists, mimicking rocks. levi turns off the lights in the living room and then sits next to you on the mattress, already scrolling through the list of kiddie movies on netflix.

"i won!!!" aster shrieks proudly. lily sniffles and buries herself in your arms. aster sighs in defeat and says, "fine, fine. we watch the grinch."

"yey!" lily cheers. you laugh.

levi starts the movie. the kids snuggle up on each of your side, with aster seated on each of your and levi's thighs. you lean in against your husband's arm, which he later wraps over your shoulders to pull you even closer.

"don't you dare fall asleep," he says, making you laugh.

"i won't," you promise.

but thirty minutes later, only levi and lily are still wide awake. aster's now lying on your thighs while lily's seated on levi's lap. your head falls forward, and levi carefully lays your head back on his shoulder so as to not wake you up.

when you got a message from levi asking if you wanted to watch a movie, you didn't hesitate to say yes. you freaked out for an hour while also deliberating whether you'd tell hange or not (you ended up telling them and forcing a promise out of them that they wouldn't tell another soul) before scrambling to get dressed... which resulted in you forgetting to bring a jacket.

the cinema is barely half-full. you could even count in two hands the number of people watching the movie — it's in its last two days in the 'now showing' list, after all. the air conditioning it at full blast, you could feel the cold air blowing over your head once in a while. the lemonade you bought isn't helping either, so at some point, you stopped drinking altogether because you kept rubbing your arms. you couldn't even laugh even when a scene is too funny, your lips trembling and your teeth too busy chattering at the cold.

it doesn't take long before levi notices your silence and lack of enthusiasm. "what's the matter?"

you force a grin at him. "i'm.... c-cold."

"tch." he quickly takes his jacket off. "here, have my jacket."

"how about you?"

"it's fine," he says casually.

"okay..." you murmur, accepting the jacket and quickly wearing it. it's so warm and it smells so good, like cypress and pine trees with a hint of jasmine and bergamot. "thank you." you bring your hands to your face to breathe against your freezing fingers, but he reaches for your hands instead and rubs them with his own.

you blink at him, your cheeks immediately growing warmer by the second.

"next time, you speak. don't just freeze."

you chuckle, lowering your eyes on his hands and yours. "maybe i knew you would do this that's why i kept quiet."

he rolls his eyes. "that's stupid. i did say you can hold my hand if you wanted to, right?"

your parents and grandma are against you travelling home, what with the news of heavy snowfalls in the coming days and advisories of staying home in the holidays, but this is your only chance. you rarely take vacation leaves because your tasks tend to pile up pretty quickly, so when the project went on a deployment lock down that would last until the first week of january, you quickly blocked the remaining three weeks of december and took your much deserved days off.

but maybe, your grandma is right about you just sitting this one out. every day, the number of bus trips getting cancelled increases until the only one left is a very late night trip tomorrow.

you book a seat, praying that this trip won't be cancelled as you start gathering the clothes you'd be bringing with you. you haven't visited your province in a while, and you miss your parents and your childhood neighbourhood, so you're very eager to go home.

.

the driver-on-standby keeps talking to the driver behind the steering wheel, keeping him awake during the ride.

you pull your soft throw blanket around you tighter as you lean against the cold window. your eyes strain as you look outside, but it's dark and there's only snow to see, so you close them instead and let the quiet music in your earphones lull you to sleep. you wake up a few times to use the restroom, and by the third time you do, it's already a quarter past 3 in the morning, four hours off the eight hours travel time to your province.

the kid behind you wakes up and starts crying, rousing everyone else from their sleep. you pull your throw blanket above your head, as if it would drown the sound of the child throwing tantrums a few seats behind you, and start scrolling down your facebook newsfeed. the child quietens some time later, tired from all the crying he just did. the driver-on-standby announces a stopover so that anyone who wants to grab some snacks can do so.

it all happens fast— the repeated slamming on brakes, the driver screaming the bus wouldn't stop while avoiding cars, which eventually causes the bus to rolls over a few times before crashing into a building.

you don't know how long you've been out. you see red when you come to, your eyes wet with blood. you aren't sure if you're still on your seat or somewhere else on the vehicle. you can't hear anything except the high-pitched ringing in your head. for a moment you couldn't feel your body, and when you finally start gaining your senses, all you could do is groan and cry because of the mind numbing pain that floods you. finally, you realize you're lying in an awkward position against the bus windows, that there are pieces of glass stuck all over your face and arms, and that there's a pole sticking to your right thigh.

the ringing subsides a few minutes later. you begin to hear your surroundings— the bus driver calling 911, the other passengers's pained groans, and the mother screaming for her child to wake up.

you want to talk, say how much your body hurts, how much you want to see your parents and grandma, but your mouth wouldn't move. even your eyes are having a hard time keeping themselves open.

you soon hear the sounds of sirens coming. or are you just hallucinating? you feel lightheaded. you can't feel your right thigh.

you just want to go home.

"hey!"

why won't they let you go home?

"shit. hey, you hear me?"

your eyes flutter open. you answer with a groan, and then you let your eyes close again—

"hey, stay with me."

you force them open. "mhm..." you blink a few times, and a raven-haired guy materializes before you. "wa....ter..."

"can't," he answers. "tell me your name?"

"wa....ter...."

"i can't give you water right now."

you force out your name, and he nods.

"yours?" you ask with a forced smile.

two other medics arrive with a stretcher, but they struggle to figure out how to move you without risking more blood loss.

"that... bad?" you mumble weakly.

he regards you for a moment. your vision clears, enough to see the color of his eyes: steel grey, just like the pole that's stuck in your thigh.

"you'll be fine."

you force out another smile. "you're so handsome, doctor."

his brow twitches together with the corner of his mouth. "good that you still got the energy to flirt."

you weakly reach for the hem of his white coat that's now dirty and soaked with blood. "will you... tell me.... your name.... if i live?"

he takes your hand. "you won't die, idiot, but yes."

"and...take me...out...for coffee?"

the medics chuckle.

you slowly slip into unconsciousness, his voice ringing in your head as he calls your name, insisting you stay awake and then— "levi! it's levi!"

you've been staring at a painting of a female genitalia for some two minutes already when levi approaches you.

"i wonder what reiner braun was thinking when he was painting this," you muse, and then turn to levi. "what does it make you feel?"

"nothing," he says flatly. "come. you'll like this one." he takes your hand and drags you into another section of the gallery that's full of sculpted works.

your eyes widen at the sight of more human genitals, this time sculpted in wood! "oh my god, they're also here!"

levi doesn't stop until you're both outside that level of the building, in a deck overlooking the farm and garden below where seasonal vegetables, herbs, strawberries, sweet potatoes, coffee and ornamental plants are grown. a river meanders through the property, with cascading waterfalls on one end, and across the museum is a hill and mini forest with an eco trail. nearby is an aviary housing peacocks and various birds, and a veritable animal farm with ducks, geese, turkeys, and other local livestock.

the sight leaves you speechless. even more so when thin puffs of wet and cold clouds start passing by around you.

"want to go down? there's a cafe below."

you pull your coat tighter around you, realizing just then that he hasn't let go of your hand yet.

levi starts leading you towards a set of stairs when you hear someone calling your name— a voice too familiar.

someone you aren't very keen to talk to.

levi catches you grimacing before you turn to your cousin.

kiera squeals. "kitty!" crap, she still calls you that. "you're still alive, after all!"

you laugh mirthlessly. "yeah... surprise."

she pulls you into a tight hug. "it's been a while! we missed you at lola's 100th! you should've been there, you know you're her favourite."

you were in the hospital the week of your grandma's birthday but of course, they couldn't care less. no one even wished you a fast recovery except your grandparents and your mom's kuya.

kiera glances at levi. "is he your boyfriend?"

your jaw hangs for a moment.

"levi," he says, letting go of your hand to shake kiera's.

"oh my god, you're handsome." she aggressively shakes hands with him. "i'm kiera! how long have you been dating?"

you begin to talk, but levi answers, "8 months."

you whip your head in his direction, brows furrowed in disbelief.

"woah, she never told us about you," kiera says incredulously. "well, it's not like she talks to us at all. not even a simple hi in messenger. she doesn't even open our group chat!"

you force out a tight-lipped smile.

"anyway, mama and papa are here! they'd be happy to see you," she says. then she turns to levi and adds, "and you."

"ah, we're actually just about to—"

levi's hand finds yours again when he says, "sure."

kiera grins and turns away, expecting the two of you to follow.

"what the hell?" you say through gritted teeth, turning to levi.

"i don't like the way she talks about you," is what he says before leading the two of you in the direction kiera went.

levi meets your auntie and uncle, who are both thrilled to see you again and levi for the first time. levi doesn't even seem bothered to be talking about work and the usual personal stuff relatives always ask for when meeting their niece's boyfriend for the first time.

the only thing you like about this encounter is the free coffee and pastries (care of your uncle) and the fact that you got to see him again (he's your favourite person in your clan, apart from your grandparents.)

your uncle invites you to join them for dinner, but you and levi both respectfully decline, telling him you're supposed to meet your office mates who should be on their way back from touring the client visitors.

your uncle hugs levi like he's been already accepted as part of the family.

"it's so nice to meet you," he says, squeezing his shoulders. "i hope we get to see you again the next time we have a family celebration."

"sure," levi says coolly, turning to you.

you let out a small smile as your uncle pulls you into a tight hug. "take care of yourself, okay?" he turns to levi and says, "take care of her."

levi smiles. "i will, sir."

you almost melt on the spot.

soon, levi is holding your hand again as you both leave the museum, and he doesn't let go until he's opened the door to his car to let you in.

"you made promises there, you idiot," you say jokingly.

he shrugs. "we could just say you broke up with me when the time comes," he replies. and then: "or... see how things would go if..."

you bite your lower lip, trying not to squeal.

and then your phone starts ringing.

"must be hange," he points out.

"must be."

heart swelling in your chest, you give him a grateful smile as you hop into the car. you let out a tiny squeal once he's closed the door, and then you answer hange's call.

"mama, i want to carve too!" aster whines, tugging at the hem of your skirt as you bring the hollowed pumpkins to the dining table.

"no, baby. we can't let you use the knife yet." 

aster lets out a slow, angry sigh. "even if papa helps me use it?"

"yes, brat," levi answers. "listen to mama."

you sit next to your husband and say, "you and lily will be the one designing the pumpkins, and your papa and i will be carving."

the little boy crosses his arms indignantly.

"i wonder who he takes after," levi murmurs knowingly, eyeing you.

you ignore him as you turn to aster. "come here, baby. stop sulking like your papa."

levi lets out a sharp breath that sounds like a laugh.

aster stomps towards you, and you sit him on your lap.

lily hops onto levi's lap and asks, "any design, mama?"

"yes, baby. make the pumpkin look scary."

15 minutes later, aster finishes his pumpkin with lightning-shaped eyes, big grinning mouth, and no nose. you hear levi chuckling, and when you turn to look at lily's pumpkin, you bite back a laughter at the sight of its heart eyes. well, at least it has a triangular nose and a rectangular mouth with crooked teeth.

aster gasps, "uh-oh! i forgot the nose!" he quickly uncaps his marker and scribbles a small nose similar to lily's.

"pretty sure your mama said 'make it look scary'," levi groans. lily only giggles, and the corner of levi's mouth twitches in a smile.

"yey!" aster cheers when his pumpkin is done.

"mama, can we add stickers after they're carved?" lily asks. 

"yes, of course, baby." you reach forward to pinch her nose. "you can add anything you want. even glitters!"

levi whips his head in your direction, throwing you a look with furrowed brows and a scrunched up nose.

"alright, let's start carving!" you say excitedly.

your husband doesn't even seem thrilled to be cutting out hearts on a halloween decoration, but he still grabs the carving tool and starts working on the pumpkin quietly.

lily jumps off his lap and runs back to her room, and you assume it's to get her stickers. aster follows, announcing he's going to turn his pumpkin to a superhero.

you and levi work in silence, listening to the twins' giggling and chattering in their shared room.

then: "this is ridiculous," levi says with a snort.

but when you look at his work, you know he's put a lot of love and effort in carving the pumpkin just as his daughter wants.

when all the carving and finishing touches are done (eg: lily putting on stickers and glitters, and aster wrapping a red mask, baptizing the pumpkin as "Raphael"), you let the kids put on the battery-operated LED light inside and then you and levi place the lids back on top of the pumpkins. the kids follow you outside the house, where you place the pumpkins in the corner next to your doorstep.

"next time, we should make four!" aster pipes up. "make them look like us!"

you sway from left to right, smiling softly as you hum and watch your and levi's relatives dancing on the dance floor.

beside you, your just-turned-husband watches with a straight face. one would think levi got married against his own will if they don't know him at all.

a waitress approaches to refill your glasses of wine, and you watch with a soft yet excited smile.

"thank you!" you chirp, grabbing the drink as soon as she proceeds to refill levi's... who remains looking at the joyful people on the dance floor with a deadpan stare

you lick your lips, and then you click your tongue, remembering you're wearing lip gloss. you lean sideways towards levi and say, "we should dance. it's tiring watching people enjoy themselves during our wedding day."

"tch."

you grab his hand and pull him up from his chair, and he lets you, while begrudgingly muttering how you know he doesn't do dancing. people cheer as you drag your husband to the dance floor, excited to see how levi enjoys. you hold his hands and lead him to tango — awkwardly at first — and when you lift and guide his hand to create a window for him to turn around, he easily responds with a stiff twirl, knowing it's just what you want. you chuckle, catching his other hand once more, to keep dancing.

the big smile on your face makes him pull you towards him, right arm immediately around your waist and the other hand on your upper back, and pushes you in a backward dip, making you gasp in surprise.

"you're annoying," levi groans. you grin, knowing he doesn't mean it in a bad way. and then your husband lets out a soft smile and says, "and i fucking love you for that," before kissing you.

with the kids busy playing in the living room, you eagerly take the opportunity to join levi in bed, stealing the book he's reading and throwing it somewhere by his feet as you straddle him. he smirks, and it reminds you just how hungry you are for him and how easily you get wet for him.

"levi," you purr, rocking your hips against his languidly. "you have no idea how i need you so bad, baby."

his hands immediately find your hips, guiding your movements. "can't even wait until it's nighttime?" he murmurs, the deep baritone making you even needier. "can't even close the damn door."

you chuckle, and then you lean forward, grabbing onto the headboard for support. levi lowers his mouth to lightly bite at one of your boobs while his hands slip under your shirt, trailing upwards to give your tits a few gentle squeeze. but then he groans, frustration rapidly churning in his stomach, and quickly rids you of your shirt to start sucking—

"mamaaaa!!" comes aster’s yelling from the living room, followed by his hurried footsteps.

you and levi look at each other with wide eyes. you quickly get off him and hide under the blanket. levi passes your shirt under the cover just as aster zips into the room, holding what looks like a ninja turtle lego build.

"where's mama!" he asks, climbing into bed.

"i don't know,” levi lies. “check the restroom."

"mama!!!" the little boy yells, jumping off the bed and running to the said location, which is just next to the nightdesk beside the bed

while still hiding under the cover, you quickly put your shirt on, sighing frustratedly. and then you chuckle ruefully as you come out and hug levi sideways-- just any kind of physical contact to make for the emptiness you now feel.

aster comes out of the bathroom and gasps when he finally sees you in bed. "you lied!" he charges at his father, and then clambers onto the bed again to latch onto you. "rafael will punish you for keeping mama to yourself!" he sentences and starts playfully hitting levi's arm with the toy, which shortly gets taken from him by levi.

"tch.” he raises his hand that’s holding the toy, and aster gets up on his feet, laughing while trying to retrieve it. “brat, your mom was all mine first before you and lily came."

you chuckle, pulling your little boy in a hug. lily comes in next, hugging her care bear stuffed toy to her chest. "you all doing a group hug without me?" she asks with a pout.

"no, baby, we’re waiting for you!" you answer, motioning for her to join the three of you in bed 

lily beams and hurries to climb into bed and onto levi's thighs.

"i love you all three, okay? but sometimes papa and i need some time alone,," you say, kissing aster's nose and then lily's cheek.

"i love you too, mama!" aster wraps his short arms around your neck. 

"me too!" lily adds, shifting towards you to hug you as well.

levi clicks his tongue. "what about me?"

you chuckle, and the kids giggle as they turn to hug levi this time. 

"we love you too, papa!" they say in between laughter. aster adds, "but i love mama more!"

"me too!" lily giggles.

"tch. i know," levi says with an eye roll. but then his gaze softens when he looks at you and says, "i love your mom more than anything and anyone in this world, too."

you let out a smile as you wrap your arms around the three of them, and for a while, all you feel is contentment and your heart swelling in your chest for all the love your little family has.

and then: "okay, now, go back to the living room and close the door on your way out. and don't come in unless we call you. your mom needs some watering."

"some what?" aster laughs as he jumps off the bed. and then he dashes out of the room, screaming the theme song of ninja turtles, without even waiting for a response.

lily waves at the two of you before quietly closing the door.

this time, levi's the first to get on top.

levi finds a box with a letter on the floor by his door when he wakes up.

it couldn't be from erwin or hange, they would've rather knocked on the door to wake him up if it's urgent, or waited in their office if it wasn't.

you, on the other hand...

he reaches for the paper, brown in color and a little rough in texture. he unfolds it and immediately, he recognizes your handwriting.

i found a shop in stohess that sells different kinds of paper and writing tools, so... here they are!

and yes, i'm back. i'm sure you missed me because i missed you too! meet me tonight on the roof?

the box contains a few sheets of the same paper, together with two more kinds, one that is difficult to fold as it's a little thick, and another that looks like the usual white paper, except it's scented. there's also an ink bottle and a brown feather quill pen included in the package.

you've always been unpredictable.

he finds another letter the next morning, despite seeing you last night at your usual meeting place on the HQ roof.

i didn't tell you about how my parents tried to stop me from going back. they still didn't like that i threw away the carefree life to join the scouts.

but i've got more "better" reasons to stay here than to stay cooped up at home, so...

he receives more, even when he hasn't responded to any of them yet— you never missed a morning. sometimes, you talk about your dreams, 'i dreamed about beane and sawney last night. holy shit, i think they're starting to grow on me! i better hide from hange or else they'll ask for my help again. maybe you've got other ideas to keep me busy? hehehehe,' or ask about nonsense, like 'why do all bald men seem to be able to grow a beard? i'm not talking about SOMEONE okay?' often it's to just say 'i think it's going to be a beautiful day today,' or, 'i'll drop by the pastry shop later during my patrol. do you want something? i'll probably bring you something to go with your tea even if you tell me no.' and when there's an expedition he always receives two letters: 'let's try to stay safe out there and meet again on the rooftop after,' and another that says, 'i love you,' in bold and capital letters.

he keeps all your letters in a box in his drawer. they're all precious to him, even if some of them are ridiculous.

and then he finally writes an answer, slips it under your pillow for you to find later once you're back.

as everyone gathers in a circle in the living room of the cabin hange booked for the group's annual christmas getaway, you couldn't help but think that maybe you should've just bought something for levi instead of making him mittens. you've always wondered why he doesn't wear one even when his hands are too cold— which, you only found out when he held your hand to not lose you in the crowd on your trip to the strip market a few days ago. he doesn't even keep them in his pockets, he's always just crossing his arms, as if the cold doesn't bother him at all.

hange takes a swig of their beer before announcing the start of secret santa and that they'll go first. they pass a small brown box wrapped in a red bow to miche and says, "i got you that because it reminded me of you when i saw that in the store!"

miche shakes the box, but it's quiet. he sniffs at it twice and then hums appreciatively.

"wait, do we have to say why?" nanaba questions.

"of course!" hange laughs.

miche grabs the box from behind him and gives it to erwin. "for your books."

"thanks," erwin says to other blond with a smile. and then he passes a paper bag to you. "i thought you would look beautiful in this."

you smile, cheeks a little heated up at the praise. whatever's inside must be some garment, you surmise that when you receive the bag by holding its body instead of the handles, and feeling something soft inside.

you get the mittens, wrapped in a simple christmas wrapper, and pass it onto levi. "to keep your hands warm."

"awww!" hange coos, pinching levi's cheek. "i think shorty would like it more if you held his hands instead— oomf!"

levi slaps his gift on hange's face to shut them up. "got you this because you kept sending a screenshot of your amazon cart in the group chat."

they're beaming as they tear through the wrapper. "i finally have the apron!!"

said apron is all black, with the tag line 'whatever happens, we're eating it' written on it.

the exchange of gifts continues between moblit and nana, and then your group spends the rest of the night seated near the fireplace and talking about all kinds of stuff while drinking.

a moment later, you excuse yourself to get some fresh air in the balcony. you listen to your friends talk about a tv show, while you put the scarf erwin gave you around your neck, soft and warm against your skin. you hear footsteps approaching, and when you turn to face who decided to join you, you find levi slightly closing the balcony door behind him.

he brought the present you gave him, but it's not opened yet.

"it's cold out here," he says, catching some snow with his free hand.

you pull the scarf tighter around your neck. "at least i have this to keep me warm," you say with a smile.

levi leans against the balcony railing adjacent to yours, and you watch him carefully tear the tapes off the wrapper of your gift, as if he doesn't want to ruin the gift wrapper at all. he pulls the mittens out, and you lift your eyes to his face to see his reaction.

there's a ghost of a smile on his lips that makes your heart skip a beat.

"you made these?" he murmurs.

you clear your throat, embarrassed by how imperfect the mittens are. "yeah... it’s that obvious?" you chuckle awkwardly.

he lets out a quiet laugh. "some uneven stitches here and there," he muses, smiling up at you. "but they're nice. thank you."

a small sigh of relief slips past your lips.

"i have something for you, too."

you blink as he pulls out something from the huge pocket of his hoodie— a pair of mittens!

you couldn't help the laughter that escapes your mouth, it’s the same pair you were eyeing that time you were in the strip market. he gives them to you, and as you turn them over in your cold hands, levi shifts to stand in front of you, steals the mittens from your hands, and says, "but then again, i do like holding your hands, so..."