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Chapter Text

August 31st, 2003

Remus woke up slowly to a dark bedroom, stretching beneath the thick quilt and immediately feeling a bit odd. His joints weren't aching the way they usually did. His muscles didn't protest the way he was accustomed to and the room seemed darker than usual.

He reached out an arm, feeling for the slender form of his wife and instead finding a broad and flat chest. A very warm chest.

"Christ, Remus, your hands are freezing."

The mutter from the other side of the bed made Remus sit upright. It had not been his wife's voice at all. It had been his own.

He felt the bed shift as the figure next to him also sat up. Remus waved his hand and turned the lamp on.

This had to be a dream.

Remus was staring at a very shocked version of his own face. Remus looked down at himself, discovering something was definitely different- he was staring down at Tonks' body and slender hands instead of his own. On the other side of the bed, the version of Remus sitting there was also examining his own body.

"Remus?" His own voice finally asked.

"Am I right to assume that you're Dora?" Remus asked, in his wife's voice.

His own body nodded. "What's going on? This is a dream, right? A ridiculous nightmare."

"One that we're sharing?" Remus asked incredulously.

"A hallucination, then. We've both gone mad." Tonks said. "A prank! It has to be a prank! The twins, they must have... done something..."

"We haven't seen Fred or George in weeks." Remus said. "Not since Harry's birthday."

There was a tense silence. "What are we going to do? You need to be at Hogwarts in four hours-"

"You need to be at work with Harry in two." Remus said.

"We're hungover, that must be it." Tonks said and then gasped. "That waiter!"

Remus tried to think back on the night before, trying to figure out what could have happened. Tonks had been at work all day and Teddy had been with Andromeda, so Remus had focused on getting the last of his materials together for the upcoming school year. Term started tomorrow, but there'd be a staff meeting today. Once he had delivered it all to his classroom, he owled Tonks and asked to take her on a date.

Admittedly, their marriage seemed to be a bit less exciting than it once was. After the war, Tonks returned to being an Auror. Remus stayed home for the first year with Teddy, but then took the job of teaching Muggle Studies. Since then, things just seemed to click into place.

Too into place, in a way. Remus was home every night after classes ended(as agreed upon with Minerva, but he would spend two nights a week at the school), while Tonks' schedule was somewhat erratic. Luckily, they had Andromeda's help with Teddy.

He had been happy when Tonks had owled back quickly and said yes, she'd be home by five. By seven, they were in a restaurant in Diagon Alley. It was a new restaurant, which had taken over the shopfront that had once be Fortescue's. It had only been open a year and people had said good things about it, so Remus figured they'd give it a go.

And it was nice. But they simply didn't seem to have a lot to talk about, to Remus' dismay. They talked about work, briefly. Tonks complained she felt more tired than usual during work, but that wasn't abnormal when she and Harry had spent most of the day waiting for a case to come their way. Not having anything to do made the shift drag on, which made her tired. They talked about Teddy, talked again about how they wished they could have given him a sibling by now(despite what Remus considered a solid effort, the only pregnancy that followed after Teddy had ended in miscarriage and nothing had happened in the two years since), but the conversation dwindled quickly. They didn't have secrets, they knew everything there was to know about each other.

Remus had not realised married life would become so comfortable that it almost felt dull. The meal was nice, and that became a very brief topic of conversation, but they remained quiet for most of the dinner. Near the end, their waiter had come by to collect dishes from the table and had accidentally spilled two goblets of wine on both Remus and Tonks.

And now Remus wondered if it was wine at all. Quick spells had cleared the mess and the waiter had apologised profusely, but now Remus wondered...

Nothing else last night seemed out of place. They had left the restaurant and nothing felt odd. They had sex when they got home and admittedly, it was the best they had had in a long time. Nothing had felt odd when he collapsed on top of her, pressing lazy kisses to her side of her face before rolling off of her, the two cuddling before finally falling asleep.

In any event, if it was some kind of Body-Swap potion, they needed to figure out what to do.

"It's just a meeting today." Remus said. "You can go, take notes of anything that might be important- I do take notes-"

"Of course you do, you're obsessed with taking notes about everything."

"- and I will try to ask around the Ministry, see if anyone's heard of something like this before." Remus finished.

"You want us to pretend to be each other?" Tonks asked.

"It's either that, or we tell people what's happened and you know Sirius is going to be insufferable about it." Remus said. "It might be best if we just go along like nothing is wrong."

Tonks nodded. "You're right, he's an insufferable bastard sometimes." She said. "But we're meant to have dinner at the Burrow tonight. You don't think he'll notice something is up?"

"We'll face that when the time comes."

Tonks nodded again. "Well, I suppose it's lucky that we don't have any major case at work right now." She said. "Dawlish doesn't care what the Aurors do all day if they're not working a case, so you should have time to look around. You're right, there must be some information somewhere." She got out of bed, groaning slightly. "God, I know I've joked about you being so stiff but I didn't realise it was so accurate. Is this really how you feel all the time?"

"Yes, I must say it is a bit odd to not have sore joints first thing in the morning." Remus said, also getting out of bed.

"Well, enjoy it, then." Tonks grumbled, heading for the shower. Remus felt a bit odd gathering Tonks' clothes(but he had done it to hand them to her before, so why did it feel weird now?), but then took over the shower when Tonks came out.

"You're not shaving today." Tonks said when he entered the bedroom again. Getting dressed had been odd. Taking a bra off of someone else was one thing. Putting one on was an entirely different situation. "If anyone asks, I'm telling them you're growing a beard."

"Well, then, they'll know you're not me." Remus said, laughing slightly. It felt foreign to his ears when the sound was not his usual laugh but hers instead. His words coming out in her voice still unsettled him slightly.

But he was confident it could be fixed.

With somewhat clumsy hands, as she was clearly more used to dealing with her own slender fingers and not his stiff ones, Tonks helped Remus dress in her Auror uniform complete with scarlet robes and wand holster. "You need to try to morph your hair." She finally said. "I don't go to work with my natural unless something is wrong."

Remus stared up at her. That was an odd feeling in itself, since he was supposed to be nearly half a foot taller than his wife. "How?"

"I- I don't know! What do you mean 'how'?"

"How do you do it?" Remus asked.

"I just think of something and do it, I don't know." Tonks said, frowning. "I've never had to explain how it works before."

Remus tried to picture that short, curly pink bob she had been favouring lately, and then felt the oddest tingle across his scalp. When he opened his eyes, Tonks had nodded. She leaned down to give him a quick kiss which still felt odd, because usually he was the one leaning down. And he didn't exactly like the rough stubble of his own face against her- now his- cheek.

"You really don't want to shave?" He asked when Tonks stepped back.

"And risk cutting up your handsome face? Absolutely not." Tonks said. "I can shave my legs but I do not trust myself to shave your face. I can shave your legs for you, if you'd like?"

"That's- no, that's quite alright."

Tonks laughed his own deep hearty laugh, and then gave him a quick rundown on what he'd need to do when arriving at the Ministry. In turn, he gave her a rundown of what to do when she got to Hogwarts in his place and she decided she'd visit the library too once the meeting was over. As a teacher, he could enter the Restricted Section and there might be something there to help them.

Remus managed to get into the department and to her desk with no issues. Harry arrived shortly after, dropping into his chair in the cubicle next to Tonks'. He immediately began talking about something but Remus felt a little too trapped in his thoughts to pay attention. There had to be something they could do. A spell, another potion... or maybe it would wear off on its own, like Polyjuice Potion. He knew it wasn't Polyjuice Potion, because that simply wouldn't have worked- werewolves could not take or be impersonated by it- so it had to be some other kind of potion.

It had to be the wine, Remus thought, but without even a sample of the 'wine' that had been spilled on them, he wasn't sure how to find out.

"Tonks?"

Remus started at the sound of Harry's voice. "Sorry, lost in thought, what do you need?"

"I was asking you about what we talked about yesterday..." Harry said slowly. "You know, between me and Ginny."

"Right, of course, sorry." Remus said quickly. Fuck, Dora hadn't said anything to him about a conversation with Harry. "Refresh my memory?"

Harry laughed slightly, sounding a bit uncomfortable. "Are you alright? You've seemed a bit out of sorts the last few days."

Had she? Remus thought back. Tonks had complained of being a bit more tired than usual, but he hadn't really noticed anything else. "I'm fine." Remus lied quickly. "Now, about Ginny..."

"Okay, alright, so I mentioned what you said yesterday and she said she doesn't want to go to St Mungo's because what if someone leaks it to the Daily Prophet?" Harry asked. Harry and Ginny constantly had issues with the Daily Prophet, Remus knew. The Order had temporarily reconvened to keep the Daily Prophet and Rita Skeeter away from Harry and Ginny's wedding a few months prior. "So she tried that Muggle test you mentioned."

Muggle test? "And?" Remus asked.

"It was positive." Harry said quietly. "So now, we've got one potion with a negative result, but the other potion and the Muggle test both saying positive."

"She's pregnant."

It falls from Remus'(Tonks') mouth so quickly before he can even think it through, but it doesn't seem to strike Harry as odd.

"You think so?" Harry asked. "You think now that we have two positives, it's likely? Like I said, we don't want to ask Molly about it all yet, get her hopes up or anything..."

"I think so, yes. When Do-" Remus quickly corrected himself. "When I was pregnant with Teddy, I took multiple tests. Got one negative."

Remus could say that with certainty because he had witnessed it. Tonks had tested with a potion first, but hadn't wanted to believe the positive result. So she had tried a different potion, got a negative, and didn't want to believe that one either. Remus, at the time, had been fine with the idea of believing the negative. But Tonks was still too suspicious, so she had gone to a Muggle shop and bought three Muggle tests- and all were positive.

Obviously the negative one had been wrong because nine months later, Teddy had been born.

"Yeah, that's what you said yesterday, but... we were planning to wait another year or two." Harry said, fiddling with a quill. "We're not upset, of course, just surprised. Part of me is worried, of course. I mean, I'm going to be in charge of raising an actual baby soon. That's kind of terrifying."

That was true. Remus had been absolutely terrified at the idea of fatherhood.

"You won't tell anyone, right? We're not sure how we're going to announce it yet, or when-"

"I won't tell anyone else, Harry, I promise."

Harry smiled, relieved. "Thanks, Tonks."

"Potter, Lupin! I got something for you!" Dawlish called, making his way over. For a split moment, Remus is confused until he remembered how proudly Tonks had announced that she had decided to take Remus' name fully, and became Auror Nymphadora Lupin. Dawlish tossed a Daily Prophet onto Tonks' desk. "Read this lunacy."

Remus picked up the newspaper as Harry slid his chair over.

Non-Consensual Experimentation in Diagon Alley: What Will The Ministry Do To Stop It?

Early this morning, an owl arrived at the offices for the Daily Prophet. It is not unusual for letters from our readers to arrive so early, but this was no letter from a reader. Instead, enclosed was the following letter, which raises concerns over the safety of those who occupy Diagon Alley:

To the seven couples I visited yesterday in Diagon Alley last night,

Consider yourselves my test subjects.

I will not disclose how to undo the change nor will you find it in a book.

I'll be watching from a distance.

-X

Fourteen witches and wizards have apparently been targeted by this mysterious 'X', and yet the Ministry remains silent so far. Who are the victims? What was done to them? Do we all have to worry about our safeties when out and about? After the war, the Ministry vowed to maintain transparency on all issues- why is this being kept quiet?

At this moment, there has been no statement given by the Ministry.

"Has anyone even reported anything?" Harry asked. "I haven't heard a thing all day."

"Nothing." Dawlish said. "So, it's up to you two. Go and search Diagon Alley. Ask people if they've seen anything strange, visit St Mungo's too. The victims may have gone there. I'll release a statement to the Daily Prophet asking for the victims to step forward. If we know what's been done, it'll be easier to investigate."

Remus wonders if he should say something. But then, would Tonks get in trouble for his idea to conceal the issue? Why had he even suggested it?

And then he wonders, if there are others and they've gone to St Mungo's, has the hospital reversed it?

"Let's start with St Mungo's." Remus said quickly to Harry. "Maybe they've seen some of the victims already."

And maybe they know how to fix it.

Chapter Text

Having an ability that meant she could, in theory, be a different person every day meant Tonks did not feel as confused and disoriented as Remus looked. Her abilities meant she was often given undercover cases, so adapting to a new body did not feel so jarring.

While his movements seemed a bit clumsy and uncoordinated(which, Tonks figured might lend credibility to him pretending to be her), she felt like she was able to adapt a little quicker. After all, being a Metamorphmagus meant she was a natural imitator. And Remus was uncomfortable enough simply existing as himself so she knew he must be more uncomfortable to be someone else.

But, God, she really had not known how he felt on a day to day basis. Her muscles were stiff, her skin felt like it was also stiff(especially near the worst of his scars), her joints popped at random times(sometimes painfully). Tonks could not understand why he didn't complain more. He had never mentioned how much he ached even when it was not full moon.

Tonks wondered what would happen come full moon. What if this isn't reversed by then? Would she have to experience it all? Luckily, there was no shortage of Wolfsbane, she always made sure it was brewed. And he got the day before, the day of and the two days after the full moon off of work to rest. But she knew it was almost something sacred to him now. He had never let her see him transformed, and Sirius hadn't seen him transformed in over ten years either. If this wasn't fixed, she wouldn't just be seeing him transformed- she'd be experiencing it. Suddenly, it felt like a major violation of his privacy.

Tonks stood in the Muggle Studies classroom for a few moments, trying to gather her thoughts. It was a (hopefully) quick staff meeting, she could do it. Take notes like Remus would, then make an excuse and go to the library.

Once she dug a notebook and a quill from Remus' desk, she left the classroom and headed towards the staffroom. The school still bore the marks of the battle but Tonks knew why. Dark magic could not be repaired fully, so the school would likely always show signs of battle, but as a highly enchanted and somewhat sentient building, it had also repaired itself wherever it could.

In the staffroom, a few other teachers had already arrived. Draco Malfoy and Neville Longbottom were the youngest professors among them, teaching Potions and Herbology respectively. Neville joined the staff two years after the war and trained under Pomona Sprout for another year and was now headed into his second year of teaching alone. Draco was also heading into his second year of teaching. From what Tonks understood from Remus, Draco kept to himself most of the time and split his time between the school and his sick wife much like Remus split his time between the school and his family.

"Remus, how was the rest of your summer?" Neville asked as Tonks sat.

"Oh, it was fine." Tonks said immediately. They had just seen Neville at Harry's birthday at the end of July, so at least Tonks likely wouldn't have to recount an entire summer to him. "Tried to keep Teddy busy while Dora worked, we went to see my Dad for a couple of days, nothing too exciting. How was yours?"

"Oh, well, I spent a lot of it with Hannah Abbott- you remember her, right? Hufflepuff in my year, blonde hair?" Neville asked and Tonks gave a slight nod. She had no idea if Remus would remember her or not. "Been seeing her. She works at the Leaky Cauldron now while she works on her Healer studies."

Hannah Abbott, Hufflepuff and- Tonks knew- member of Dumbledore's Army. She couldn't recall Remus ever mentioning a Hannah. "She'll make a wonderful Healer, brilliant student." Tonks finally said, and Neville agreed immediately.

Minerva entered finally, and Tonks was grateful. The quicker this was over, the quicker she could sneak off to the Restricted Section.

"First off, welcome back, everyone. I trust everyone had a nice and relaxing break, did they? Now, before the students arrive tomorrow, I must go over a few things. Firstly- as usual- Filch would like us to ensure students are not messing with the portraits." Minerva said, in a tone that hinted that she did not care what Filch wanted. "Of course, the portraits insist that they enjoy the interactions they have with students, so perhaps we can find a middle ground someday."

"Second, we are getting and closer to receiving first years who do not remember or know of the war. Of course, every year, we will have the Muggleborns who do not know anything about it. But this group will have been only six when it ended, it is possible they do not know of it yet. As always, I must remind you to be prepared for the questions they may have. The farther we get from the war, the less the first years will know of it, and I urge all of you to be cautious so there are no alarming letters sent home by scared students."

Tonks knew this part of the talk already. Remus had told her about it, about how every year Minerva reminded them to be careful with how they approached it.

"Next, the Forbidden Forest... Rubeus has assured me it is under control, but please ensure students remain clear of it. Apparently there is a herd of rather short-tempered unicorns."

"I swear they're no threat, Headmistress, I'll keep 'em in line!" Hagrid piped up.

"Ensure you do, Rubeus." Minerva said with a nod. "Now, moving onto individual subjects... Neville, the Ministry has approved funding for that expansion you requested, but have denied your request to plant Withering Walrusbloom due to its... delicate nature."

'Delicate nature' was putting it mildly. Withering Walrusbloom was a savage plant that would spray a vicious orange slime at anyone who made even the slightest noise near it. Tonks was unsurprised the Ministry would not want it grown at Hogwarts.

"Thank you, Headmistress, no Withering Walrusbloom." Neville said.

"For Potions, the storeroom has been sufficiently stocked, Draco." Minerva said. "The house elves have also cleared out that doxy infestation that was plaguing you last year."

"Thank you, Headmistress." Draco said.

"For Muggle Studies, Remus, the literary classics you requested will be delivered by owl in a week." Minerva said, turning to Tonks. "I, and the Ministry, do not see any issue with including Muggle books in the curriculum. And we have secured your sub for the full moons during the year. This year, it will be Susan Bones... you must remember her."

"Of course, yes." Tonks said immediately(but she had no idea who Susan Bones was, really). Tonks knew the subs changed every year for Remus, a role usually taken by someone looking for a temporary job. He generally didn't have qualms with any of them except for the young man who had taken the job three school years before who had put up a fuss when Remus asked for a couple of weeks off to cope(and to help Tonks cope) with the miscarriage. Minerva's response had been to dismiss the sub and simply take over the lessons herself until Remus returned. They had both been really touched by the way the remaining Order members had immediately found different ways to support them when, three days after Christmas that year, they had lost their baby. It had been one of the worst moments of Tonks' life(and there was definitely a list of those), having to tell people that there wouldn't be a second baby Lupin after all.

She wrote Susan's name down, certain Remus likely knew of her. He had a remarkable memory and seemed to remember every student he ever taught. The rest of the meeting was very much the same. Minerva listed off a few rules they needed to enforce with the students, shared updates on a few things, and then dismissed everyone because she was sure they had a lot of work to complete before the next day.

This was Tonks' chance, then. She bid farewell to everyone as they all left the staffroom, and headed for the library.

As Tonks entered the Restricted Section, she couldn't help but wonder how Remus was doing. He'd be face to face with Harry all day, there was a chance Harry might clue in on the fact that he was not actually talking to Tonks.

She grabbed every book she thought might help and quickly lost track of time as she searched for anything she could, but couldn't find anything on body-swap potions or spells.

A Patronus appeared in front of her and to her surprise, it spoke in Remus' voice. In a way, she supposed it made sense. Magic would be linked to their minds, not their bodies. Luckily, they had identical Patronuses, so if they had to summon it in front of anyone else, it likely wouldn't be noticed.

"We need to talk, now. On my way home. If you're not already home, can you be?"

Tonks reshelved the books she had taken down, not that she had found any answers anyway, and left the Restricted Section. She made her way back to the Muggle Studies classroom and through the Floo, waving Remus' wand to clear the soot from her clothes.

"How was your day pretending to be me?" Tonks asked, sitting at the table across from him.

Remus sighed. "It could have been better, I'm sure." He said, tossing a Daily Prophet onto the table in front of Tonks. "Look at that."

"Why do you think St Mungo's first and not Diagon Alley?" Harry asked as they walked through the department, the Daily Prophet tucked into Tonks' robes.

"I just think that the victims, whoever they are, likely won't be hanging around Diagon Alley." Remus said. "There might be witnesses, but without talking to any victims, how do you know where to start?"

"But how will we know who the victims are?" Harry asked. "We don't know what happened to them."

"We'll figure that out when we get there."

Remus felt a bit sick when they reappeared in the alley beside St Mungo's. He attributed it to the fact he still felt like he was struggling to adapt to the smaller stature. He felt fairly confident that there might be others here who have had the same thing happen to them but he wasn't sure how to explain that to Harry. After all, Tonks would have no way of knowing who they were looking for.

Inside the hospital, they lingered by the reception. "What floor would victims of something experimental go to?" Harry asked, staring at the directory. "Spell Damage? Magical Bugs? Poisoning?"

"Well, like you said, we don't know what's been done." Remus said, but he was trying to figure out which floor would handle a body-swap situation. It was possible that, if any victims had come here, they'd be in the General Medicine Ward until the hospital decided what to do with them. "Let's ask the Welcome Witch, she might know."

"Right." Harry said, heading for the Welcome Witch. Remus had to be thankful that Harry was seemingly taking the lead, there was less chance of him slipping up and revealing that he was impersonating an Auror(which, he was still pretty sure was illegal even if it was his own wife and she had agreed). Of course, if people had come to St Mungo's for help with this, maybe they could come and get it reversed and pretend it never happened. Remus truly dreaded Sirius finding out, the jokes would be endless.

Harry and the Welcome Witch spoke for a few moments and Remus' initial guess was right. Apparently an older couple had shown up and had been sent to General Medicine on the fourth floor. So, Harry and Remus headed for the stairs.

Not having knees that popped or muscles that protested was definitely new for Remus and while it was a relief, it was still odd. Even more odd was how tired he was by the time they reached the fourth floor. Tonks was in excellent shape, why was her body so fatigued today? Perhaps it simply had to do with the swap, but then he thought back. The last couple of weeks she had been complaining of fatigue and more than once, Remus had gotten home to find her already home and napping. He wondered if she was overworking herself lately.

Remus also wondered how Tonks was coping with his aging body. He'd probably hear all about it later.

The General Medicine Ward was down a hallway connected to the Janus Thickey Ward and handled everything the other departments did not. This was where people came when they had less magical ailments, for childbirth, and acted as the hospital's A&E Department.

When they entered, raised voices immediately greeted them.

"You need to fix this! I do not want to be stuck as this old codger!" A man yelled at a Healer.

"You think I want to be you?" The woman snapped. "Breasts down to your knickers now, ain't they? I wouldna have minded thirty years ago but now-"

"Oh, you old pig!" The man spat. "You think you've aged much better?"

"Excuse us, we're from the Ministry and I think you might be the two we're looking for. The Welcome Witch told me to look for the Wadesburrows." Harry said, and the old couple turned to face him. The Healer looked immensely relieved. "This is Auror Lupin and I'm-"

"Merlin's tits, you're Harry Potter!" The old woman cried.

"Watch your language, you foul mouthed bastard!" The man spat. "Apologies, Mr- Auror Potter, my husband forgets his manners sometimes."

Harry looked like he wasn't sure how to proceed, as if he was afraid any question might trigger another barrage of insults to be traded. Luckily, the Healer stepped forward. "I'm so glad the Ministry has been alerted to this." He said. "I'm Healer Figglesprout and as I was just discussing with Mr and Mrs Wadesburrow, we are trying to find a way to reverse it, but nothing-"

"I'm sorry, but what exactly happened?" Harry asked.

"Well, I'll tell you!" Mr Wadesburrow(though, Remus knew this must actually be Mrs). "We were in Diagon Alley last night, shopping for our grandson's birthday when this man approached us. He started asking all sorts of questions, mostly directions to different shops-"

"And then that sonofabitch threw two vials of potions at us!" Mrs Wadesburrow interjected.

"What did the man look like?" Remus asked.

"He was young, thick blonde hair that covered his eyes, pale as the snow, he was... about your height, Auror Lupin, if I had to guess." Mr Wadesburrow said. That sounded like the young man who had dumped the wine on him and Tonks, Remus realised.

"Did he say anything?" Harry asked.

"Not after he tossed the potions at us, he took off running." Mr Wadesburrow said.

"I tried to chase after him-" Mrs Wadesburrow began, but Mr Wadesburrow scoffed.

"You did no such thing! You can barely walk a few feet, let alone run after someone, you lying bastard! Who are you trying to impress?" He demanded.

"Certainly not you." Mrs Wadesburrow spat back.

"Why are you two still married?" Remus asked in disbelief. The question falls from his lips before he can help himself but luckily Tonks was rather skilled at that exact issue so it did not seem out of sorts.

The two stared at him, looking surprised by the question. "Are you married?" The old man asked.

"Yes, for just over five years." Remus replied.

"Well, let me tell you something, Auror. The first ten years or so are fine, but then he got fat and lazy,-"

"Ah, look at yourself!" Mrs Wadesburrow spat. "Look at what her husband gets to look at, if you looked like that I'd have tried harder!"

"I'm still a bit confused, what exactly did the potions do?" Harry asked, looking between the old couple.

"Well, we wake up this morning and we've switched bodies!" Mr Wadesburrow said. "I can't live the rest of the my life stuck as this fat sack-"

"Oi, you think I'm any luckier?" Mrs Wadesburrow demanded.

"So, you were saying you haven't figured out how to reverse this?" Harry asked the Healer as the two continued arguing.

"Nothing yet, no." Healer Figglesprout said. "Unfortunately..."

"Has anyone else come in?" Remus asked. and Healer Figglesprout shook his head.

"Nothing yet, but... we're going to try a few spells and potions on the Wadesburrows, see what we can do. That way, if others come in, maybe we can fix it." He said. "Would you like me to owl the Ministry if anyone else does come in?"

"Please." Harry said, turning to Remus. "Should we try Diagon Alley, then?"

Remus nodded and they said goodbye to the Healer, who looked a bit despondent at being left alone with the arguing couple.

"I like to think Ginny and I would handle it better than that." Harry remarked as they walked through the hospital again. "I can't imagine ever saying that type of stuff about her."

"Some people just aren't meant to be married. They should have given it up years ago." Remus said. "Why grow old with someone you fight with so much?"

"Maybe they think it's better than being lonely?" Harry offered. "I meant to ask, but it slipped my mind when Dawlish came over, how was last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your date with Remus." Harry said. "You said you were going to talk to him about how you've been feeling, how did it go?"

How Dora was feeling? About what?

"I- I didn't bring it up." Remus said quickly. And it wasn't a lie, because Tonks had not even attempted to bring up her feelings about anything. "But it was nice, we just went for dinner."

"Where'd you go? A Muggle place?"

"No, we went... we were in Diagon Alley, actually." Remus admitted. "Didn't see anything odd, though."

"Wait, you were in Diagon Alley last night?" Harry asked, stopping. When Remus turned to him, Harry spoke again. "You didn't see anything? You're sure?"

"Well, going off of what that couple said, I likely would have noticed if someone dumped potions onto people. I didn't, though."

"Damn, you could have been our best witness." Harry grumbled, and they started walking again. "Well, what do you say we try Diagon Alley anyway? We'll ask around at a few shops, see if we can find any witnesses."

Unfortunately, they wandered Diagon Alley for nearly two hours and didn't find anyone who had witnessed the man dumping potions on people and did not find anyone else who had the potions dumped on them. But, Remus supposed, others could be doing what Remus and Tonks were doing and staying quiet while trying to figure it out themselves.

"The biggest problem is that people would have washed it off. We might not even get a sample of it." Remus said. "And without a sample of it-"

"St Mungo's might not be able to reverse it." Harry said. "Maybe Dawlish's statement to the Daily Prophet will help. Someone has to know something."

Remus hoped so. But as the afternoon wore on, he wondered if he should talk to Tonks and if they should admit that it's happened to them too. But then another part him wanted to know what all she had been discussing with Harry. He knew the two were close and he was not generally the jealous or nosy type, but knowing she had told Harry she wanted to talk to Remus about something...

He knew it would be highly inappropriate to try to get his wife's secrets out of Harry. So, he tried to be careful the rest of the afternoon with any conversation he had with Harry. As much as he wanted to know, he wanted it to be when Tonks decided.

When the shift ended, Remus was immensely relieved. He said goodbye to Harry at the fireplaces, saying he'd see them soon at the Burrow, and sent off a Patronus to Tonks before Flooing home.

At home, he sat at the table as the room spun slightly in a rather obnoxious way, pulling out the Daily Prophet.

The fire flared up and Tonks stepped through. She waved her wand(his, really, because they figured they should use the wands that matched the body) over her(his) robes and clearing the soot. "How was your day pretending to be me?" Tonks asked, sitting at the table across from him.

Remus sighed. "It could have been better, I'm sure." He said, tossing the Daily Prophet onto the table in front of her. "Look at that."

Tonks turned the paper to face her and read it quickly. "There are others?"

"At least six other couples, yes." Remus said. "I met one today at St Mungo's. They are not handling it as well as we are. Interesting enough, Dawlish gave the case to you and Harry."

"And what did St Mungo's say?" Tonks asked.

"They're going to try a couple of things on the couple who showed up today, but they're not sure how to reverse it." Remus said. "And there's still five other couples out there who are unidentified."

"Did you learn anything?"

"Yes, the man they described sounds like it could be the same man who dumped the wine on us. I don't believe it was wine." Remus said. "I also found out some couples really despise each other after a few decades of marriage and that you and Harry have had some interesting conversations lately."

Remus could see the shock in his own eyes and the way the scars stood out more when the blood drained from his face. "What did he tell you?" Tonks asked quietly.

"Well, I have promised secrecy on one topic." Remus said. "But what have you wanted to talk to me about? You told Harry yesterday you were going to talk to me about something."

"I- I swear it's nothing, but I didn't know how to tell you." Tonks said, clenching the Daily Prophet in her hands tightly. "I've been a bit worried, that's all."

"About what?"

"Us."

"What about us?" Remus asked, leaning forward. Tonks leaned forward too, taking his hands. It was odd to Remus, to be staring so intently into his own face and waiting for the words that could either be something minor or disastrous.

"I love you, you know that, right?" Tonks asked.

Remus felt tense suddenly. "Of course I do."

"I just... I don't want to say I'm bored, but..."

Remus let out a breath and laughed slightly. "Dora, I get it." He said. "Things have been very routine for us lately, is that it?"

Tonks nodded. "I'm sorry." She said. "I just... I think we've lost something... something just doesn't feel the same. We don't cuddle every night anymore, we only have dates once every few months if we're lucky, we only have sex because we want another baby-"

"No, that's not true-"

"Isn't it?" Tonks challenged. "Last night was the first time in months that it didn't feel like we were just hurrying to some finish line-"

"Last time was the first time in weeks we've even had sex." Remus pointed out. "You've been so tired that I haven't wanted to push for it but Dora, I'd happily make love to you every night if you felt like it-"

"Well, I'm not sure how I feel about it right now." Tonks said, gesturing between them. "I was going to try to say we need some excitement, but looks like X did that for us."

"He did." Remus said, and Tonks squeezed his hands. "We'll try to add some excitement back to our marriage that doesn't involve strangers and potions... and we'll stop focusing so hard on wanting a second child and just have sex because we want to, alright?"

"Alright." Tonks said with a nod. "Anyway, I didn't find anything in the Restricted Section but I did learn that we need to talk to a Healer or something, there has to be a potion to help your poor body. I didn't realise how you felt all the time, you've never said anything."

"Dora, I've tried potions. I've tried Muggle medications. Nothing helps, so I learned to live with it." Remus said.

"You shouldn't have to live with it." Tonks said. "Bodies should not feel like this-"

"Bodies should not turn into wolves once a month either, yet that also happens." Remus retorted. "Speaking of bodies feeling a certain way... Dora, what's going on with you? I barely did anything today and I feel incredibly run down. Apparating feels like way more effort than I think it should, you've been so tired the last couple of weeks that you've been falling asleep at the dinner table, and Harry mentioned you've been a bit off-"

"Harry said I've been off?"

"Yes."

"Remind me to call him an asshole when we get to the Burrow tonight."

"And how would we explain it when I walk up to him and call him an asshole for no reason?" Remus asked, and Tonks frowned a bit.

"Oh... right." She said, and looked towards the calendar. "Well, anyway, it's probably just... no."

Without another word, Tonks stormed from the kitchen and disappeared upstairs. Remus sat confused for a few moments before deciding to follow her. He found her in their bathroom, on her(his) knees and digging through the cupboard.

"You're not going to be able to get back up very easily." He said casually, but the joke was lost when she twisted and shoved a pink and white box towards him. He just stared at it until she sighed, grabbing the counter and hauling herself to her feet with a groan. She shoved the box into his hands. "You're... joking, right?" Remus asked, somewhat faintly.

"Well, I can't take it. You have to." Tonks said impatiently. "It's easy, you just pee on the damn thing."

"We can't do one of those potions where you just prick your finger?"

"We don't have any." Tonks said, waving towards the toilet. "Go."

Showering in his wife's body and working his wife's job(in her body) was already uncomfortable enough for Remus. Taking a pregnancy test? He'd really rather not, but she's standing there(in his body) and made it clear he does not get a choice. At least she leaves the bathroom and gives him a bit of privacy.

He manages it, feeling very humiliated, and the second he sets the test down on the counter and washes his hands, Tonks threw open the door behind him. "Give it to me." She said.

Seeing his rather tall frame force its way into their bathroom in such a way makes Remus immediately self conscious about whether he's ever moved like that before. It's a bit intimidating. Then again, he is a little more careful and gentle than Tonks is. She is dominant and loud and chaotic while he'd rather fade into the background.

Tonks has already reached around him and grabbed the test without hesitation. Remus turns around to face her, and she stares down at the test like it'll immediately answer her.

"Watching it probably won't help." Remus said, his words trailing off lamely when his own face glowers down at him. So he chooses peace and stays silent.

A few seconds before Remus' watch beeps, they already know. The second line is right there, staring them in the face.

Tonks looked outraged. "We've been trying for two fucking years, and this is when it finally happens?"

"But this is what we wanted, isn't it?" Remus asked. "We wanted another-"

"Yeah, but my pregnancy's been stolen from me!"

"No, it hasn't." Remus said. "It's still your body that is pregnant-"

"And am I in my own body? I wanted to get pregnant again! As myself!" Tonks countered, pacing. "When was my last period? Oh, my God, I was in a duel last week, what if- what if that hurt the baby?"

"Dora, I imagine we'd know by now." Remus said gently, but he wasn't sure. A week ago, Tonks had come home sporting a black eye and a few bruises littering her body. She had insisted she was fine but they obviously hadn't had any idea she was pregnant... "Should we go to St Mungo's and see if Lottie can see you tonight before we go to the Burrow? It could ease your mind."

There's a moment where Tonks doesn't respond, and Remus wonders if she's even heard him(she would have, he knows, because he was definitely not hard of hearing), and then Tonks starts to laugh. Quietly at first and then his proper deep laugh. For some reason, the sound immediately seems to annoy Remus. "Lottie won't see me." She said, laughing while Remus stared at her blankly. "Remus, do you not get it?"

"I'm afraid not."

"I am not in my own body. If this isn't fixed in the next few months, I am not the one who has to give birth. The hormones, the weight gain, the birth, it's all on you, sweetheart."

Remus feels his blood run cold. This is definitely not what he meant by 'adding excitement' to their marriage.

Chapter Text

Lottie had been twenty seven when she assisted with her first birth, and it had been an eventful one. Her patient had been a fellow Healer, twenty three year old Andromeda Tonks, who stubbornly refused to accept she was in labour until after she finished healing up Auror Alastor Moody.

Andromeda had stubbornly ignored the contractions, patched up Alastor Moody, and delivered her daughter twenty minutes after declaring he'd be fine in a few days. Lottie had admired Andromeda's strength and determination and the two became friends. Nymphadora(who very much preferred to be called Tonks, Lottie knew) seemed to inherit that stubborn determination, Lottie knew, and so she was not surprised to find out her daughter had entered an extremely elite and difficult career and had found it funny she was trained by Alastor Moody, of all people.

And then Lottie had been honoured when Andromeda reached out with a very precious favour in 1998, as well. Her daughter was pregnant and they needed someone they could trust to help deliver the baby, but to also keep it a secret. Lottie immediately agreed and swore she'd take the secret to the grave. It had been a long day, made longer by the fact they didn't have the potions that St Mungo's had to hurry things along, but it was all worth it in the end.

So, Lottie could not help but feel excited when she received the letter from Tonks asking if Lottie would see them immediately. She immediately sent off a response and less than an hour later, Tonks and Remus were sitting in a small exam room in St Mungo's. Lottie could immediately tell they were both tense.

"So, what can I help you with?" Lottie asked.

"Dora's pregnant." Remus said immediately. "Well, we think... the test was positive."

Lottie looked towards Tonks. "Really? When was your last period?" She asked, picking up Tonks' file.

Tonks' eyes glanced towards Remus as if hoping he'd have the answer. "I don't know. I- uh, I know it's at least a week late."

"Alright, so just a week late? You had one last month?"

Tonks and Remus exchanged looks again. "No." Remus said after a moment. "No, you didn't, because I haven't had to buy anything for it for a while."

"Alright, Tonks, lay back for me. Let's see if we confirm this for you." Lottie said. There was a brief hesitation before Tonks leaned back, lifting her shirt slightly. Lottie waved her wand over Tonks' midsection, a few bubbles appearing with runes within them. "Oh... have you been quite busy at work lately, Tonks?"

Tonks looked confused. "I- yes, I guess so." She said, glancing at Remus again, who gave her a slight shrug and a nod.

"I only ask because you must have been very busy to have not noticed multiple missed periods." Lottie said. "My spells indicate that you're fourteen weeks."

"Fourteen?" Remus asked. "But- but there haven't been any symptoms! I'm- Dora's not even showing! She was showing a little bit with Teddy by this time-"

"No, your- I noticed my jeans were a bit tight this morning." Tonks said, and Remus narrowed his eyes at her. "And I've been so tired for weeks,-"

"Every pregnancy is different." Lottie said. "But it's also good, you made it beyond the first trimester. The risk of miscarriage does decrease, and-"

"I was in a small duel at work last week." Tonks said immediately. "And we need to know if everything is alright."

"Because of your history, I understand." Lottie said. "Everything looks great. My spells give you a due date of... February 29th... a leap year baby! Of course, there's no guarantee of giving birth on your due date, but... you never know!"

"And you're sure everything is fine?" Remus asked, looking worried.

"My spells show that everything is."

Tonks sat up as Remus wrapped his arms around her. "We're actually having another baby..." He muttered, his arms tight around her. When he leaned back, Lottie could see tears on his cheeks.

"I'll send you an owl in a few days with the date of your next appointment, alright?" Lottie asked. "Take it easy at work, Tonks."

Remus was the one who nodded. "Dawlish needs to be told, it's the protocol." He said, and Tonks raised an eyebrow at him. "You said it was, didn't you?" He asked quickly.

"We'll talk about it later." Tonks finally said. "Thank you, Lottie."

"You're welcome, and congratulations." Lottie said, making a few quick notes in Tonks' file. "Look for my owl in a few days."

After getting home from St Mungo's, as they were getting ready for dinner at the Burrow, they knew they had to address the elephant in the room. Specifically, the two invisible-but-very-much-present-elephants.

"There is something rather humorous in this timing." Remus said, digging through Tonks' clothes. "But what do we do?"

"What do you mean?" Tonks asked, turning to him. "We get excited, we feel relieved that we've obviously made it through the first trimester. Lottie told us the risk of miscarriage decreases-"

"Well, of course, but... Dora, how long can we pretend to be each other? I can't do your job." Remus said. "Now that we know it happened to others, maybe we should seek help at St Mungo's."

"But you said they weren't sure what to do and I worry about our jobs during this." Tonks said. "And we do need to both work, we can't take time off, especially now. We'll both need to stop working sometime after Christmas anyway. Technically I- or you, if this is fixed- can teach at Hogwarts until right before the baby is born but you... or, my body, won't be able to work that long, I'm sure. I was exhausted during the last couple of weeks with Teddy and before the miscarriage, Dawlish told me I'd be on leave the month prior. All I did after disclosing it was sit at my desk and help others with their paperwork. It'll be easy enough for you to fake your way through that. And do you really want Sirius to take the piss out of us over this? You know he will."

"I know he will, yes." Remus said with a nod.

"And what will it do, anyway? You think the Order's going to know how to fix it?"

"I suppose not." Remus said. "We can figure out this pregnancy and everything else as we need to, but... what about the full moon? That's my other concern."

"I'll brew the Wolfsbane like I always do." Tonks said. "It'll just be me drinking it, I guess."

"And it doesn't scare you? That you may have to transform in a week and a half?"

Tonks shrugged, fiddling with the buttons of the shirt she had changed into. "I suppose I'd rather not panic over it. What good will it do, anyway?" She asked, and then she looked at him again. "And you shouldn't stress yourself out either, Mr Anxious. It's not good for the baby, so while you're in my body don't be your usual broody and panicky self. Try to enjoy having a body that doesn't hurt and hasn't aged beyond its years."

"Try to enjoy..." He let out a slight laugh. "You're unbelievably calm about all of this."

"Why wouldn't I be? I can morph into anyone I want, being in a body that doesn't look like me isn't exactly a new experience." Tonks said, stepping towards him. "If you don't stop stressing yourself out, I'm going to burn all of your robes and make you dress like a man going through a midlife crisis. We're talking a leather jacket, maybe grow your hair out, tight jeans. Maybe even with holes in them."

"You wouldn't."

"This is my body now, I will." Tonks said, taking his hands. "Enjoy being human for a bit, Remus. You deserve to not suffer for a while... well, as close to not suffering as possible considering the baby... morning sickness is an entirely different type of suffering."

Remus nodded. "Yes, I remember how you were with Teddy." He said. Neither ever mentioned the lost pregnancy, but the morning sickness had been terrible that time too. How unfair that she did not get to experience the easiest pregnancy so far. "To be honest, my stomach feels a bit unsettled. I assumed it was the switch."

"Now that I think about it, that's been happening on and off for a few days." Tonks admitted. "I just didn't think anything of it. And fourteen weeks... how unobservant of me to not notice I haven't had my period in that long."

Remus smiled up at her. "You and Harry were pretty busy all summer and this summer feels like it passed so much faster than usual."

Tonks let go of his hands, gently reaching forward and resting the back of her hand on his abdomen. "It is very strange to be touching my own stomach like this, but... I can't believe we're finally having another baby." She said quietly.

Remus placed his hand over hers. "So, when do you want to tell the others?"

"I thought we agreed we weren't."

"They're going to notice eventually, Dora."

Being called 'Dora' by her own voice still felt a bit odd, but she was still certain that telling the Order wasn't really going to help. It was unlikely they'd figure out how to reverse it before St Mungo's did. "Do you really think they're going to sit there and accuse us of hiding a body swap?" Tonks asked, only to be met with a blank look.

"I meant the baby."

"Oh! I don't know..." Tonks said. "When do you want to? We've passed the first trimester, you have to tell Dawlish immediately- as I said, it's protocol-" And then she gasped. "Oh, my God, Harry! Did he say anything about Ginny today?"

"He did, but I was sworn to secrecy-"

"He swore me to secrecy, so tell me."

"Ginny is pregnant." Remus confirmed.

Tonks let out a triumphant laugh, one that Remus was certain he had never done himself. It was interesting, in a way, to see how her personality made him appear a bit more youthful. He wondered now if he was accidentally making her look older.

"We're having a baby at the same time as Harry and Ginny!" Tonks said excitedly, hugging Remus tightly. "They'll probably go to Hogwarts together and-"

"Slow down, Harry asked me not to tell anyone else." Remus said as Tonks stepped back. "You're right, he technically said it to you, so you need to make sure you keep your word. He can't know that I know. Since you are now me, you need to pretend you don't know."

Tonks seemed to deflate slightly. "Oh, you're right. He'll tell me... you... when he's ready."

"I will say, it is remarkable the relationship you have with him. I think it's great that you two trust each other so much." Remus said. "But that does make me worry... with how close you two are, do you think he'll notice when you're not acting like yourself?"

"He might..." Tonks said slowly, and then her face lit up. "We blame it on the pregnancy. He said I've been acting 'off', so-"

"So, we announce your pregnancy and he'll just assume that's why."

Six weeks after the war, Harry had walked into the Ministry for his first day as an Auror trainee. Coincidentally, Tonks had also walked in on her first day back from the closest thing to maternity leave that the chaotic post-war Ministry could offer, and Dawlish had assigned Tonks to train Harry just to keep her off of missions a while longer and ensure that Harry was in safe hands during his training. They had been working together every day since, becoming Auror partners once Harry was done training.

So, it was easy to see when Tonks was not acting like her usual self. Sometimes it would be something minor like Teddy had kept her awake all night or the stress of Remus' health near full moons. But Harry noticed every time.

And today... she had seemed a bit tense and like her mind was a million miles away. She even let him take the lead on their work today which rarely happened. He had worried that maybe her talk with Remus had gone sideways, but if she hadn't even talked to him...

Harry sighed, letting the thoughts dissipate. He could feel a slight nervous energy from Ginny, as if she was terrified that her Mum would figure out that she was pregnant before they had the chance to tell anyone.

But Harry had a plan. Ginny's brothers(specifically Bill, Fred and George) tended to enjoy these dinners a little too much and would often try to encourage others to take part. Generally, she'd drink a small amount, so Harry had spent part of the afternoon thinking up ways to make the drinks vanish unnoticed and he was sure he could do it.

Harry turned at the sound of Apparating and saw that Remus and Tonks had finally arrived.

"Do you think they're acting kind of... odd?" Harry asked Ginny quietly, gesturing towards Tonks and Remus who seemed to be arguing in a hushed whisper as they crossed the garden.

"Who?" Ginny asked, looking up from Victoire, who was toddling towards a very pregnant Fleur.

"Remus and Tonks." Harry said. "Tonks has been kind of weird for a few days."

"Oh. Maybe..." Ginny said slowly. "I'm sure it's nothing. Couples argue, it's normal."

"We don't."

Ginny gave him a playful smile. "Give it time, Potter. I'm sure we'll find something."

"Mummy! Do you want to hear what Granny and I did today?" Teddy yelled, sprinting across the garden. It was Remus who caught the yellow haired five year old, not Tonks, scooping him up.

"What did you and Granny do today?" Tonks asked Teddy as they walked towards the table set up in the garden.

"We went to the park and fed the birds!"

"Oh, sounds like you had fun." Remus said, setting Teddy down once they reached they reached the table. Everyone sat around the table- Teddy happily settling right between his parents.

The conversation was lively, and Harry felt lucky that no one noticed his hand hover over Ginny's glass whenever one of the twins tried to push more wine on her. Ginny didn't seem to notice either, as she was currently in a lively debate with Ron about Quidditch. Hermione and Kingsley were discussing work(she was his Undersecretary), much to Sirius' clear annoyance. Harry understood it, personally. He didn't like when work conversations took over his personal life, either. Fleur was complaining to Bill about something Victoire had done earlier while the strawberry blonde toddler simply made a mess of her plate instead of eating. As the eldest(and the only, for at least a few more weeks) Weasly grandchild, Victoire got away with everything- much to Fleur's annoyance.

"Are you alright?" Harry heard Remus whisper to Tonks partway through dinner. They were right across from Harry, so he didn't miss any of their whispered conversation.

"Just not very hungry, it seems." She whispered back.

Remus hummed. "Fascinating." He muttered, in an amused tone.

Tonks shot him a somewhat scathing look. "It's not funny."

"I think it's a little bit funny." Remus whispered back, as Tonks pushed her plate away just slightly.

"Dora, are you alright? You've barely touched your food." Andromeda remarked as she finally looked away from her conversation with Molly.

"Yes, I'm fine." Tonks said immediately. "Just not that hungry."

Harry recalled how she had barely touched her lunch too. He wouldn't mention it because it would trigger Andromeda's need to ensure the people around her weren't ill, but he thought it a bit odd. After the war, Andromeda had become paranoid about the health of everyone she cared about. Harry supposed it was simply her way of trying to ensure she didn't lose anyone else.

Remus and Tonks had exchanged a look and after both shrugged, Remus spoke. "Actually, I suppose we'll share it since we're all gathered..." He said. "We are having another baby."

Andromeda dropped her fork as there were cries of congratulations around the table. "What does that mean?" Teddy asked as Andromeda rushed to hug Tonks, who looked somewhat tense at the gesture.

"It means you'll be a big brother." Remus said. "Soon you'll have a little brother or sister-"

"Can it be a brother? I don't want a sister." Teddy said, wrinkling his nose.

"That's not how it works, Teddy, we don't get to choose." Tonks said, and Teddy looked confused.

"Why not?" He asked, looking between his parents.

"Because it's random, we won't know for a while if it's a boy or girl. We didn't know you were a boy until you were born." Remus explained. "There's no way to guarantee one or the other."

"Which do you hope for?" Molly asked.

"We just want the baby to be healthy, we're not too picky otherwise." Remus said.

"But... how- how long have you known, Tonks?" Harry asked. "We went on a raid last week!"

"A couple of hours." Remus said. "Lottie told us that it'll be the end of February-"

"End of February?" Andromeda asked, standing over them. "So, you're-"

"Fourteen weeks." Remus said immediately. "Dora said there's been no symptoms or any clues until the last few days."

"Certainly different than when you were pregnant with Teddy, then." Andromeda said, smoothing a hand over Tonks' hair.

Remus and Tonks exchanged another look. "It would seem so." Remus said.

"Oh, it is wonderful! We'll have babies in Hogwarts together!" Fleur said.

"Well, technically, Teddy and Vic will attend at the same time." Ginny pointed out. Fleur wrinkled her nose, still not a fan of the nickname her daughter had received due to Teddy being unable to pronounce Victoire.

"But these two will be in the same year." Bill said. Harry realised his and Ginny's baby would be part of this year too. "Hopefully both Gryffindors-"

"I think it'd be fine if they weren't." Remus said, parroting what Tonks usually said when the topic of the Houses came up. Usually Remus would goad her and insist that any son of his would only be a Gryffindor, but they all knew he really didn't care. Perhaps he had decided to retire the joke.

"Well, there you go, that explains it, then." Ginny whispered to Harry. "She's been acting odd because of the pregnancy."

Harry wasn't sure he was entirely convinced. "Yeah, maybe..."

Chapter Text

Once they got Teddy to bed, not without resistance from the five year old and a threat that he was going to climb into bed with them later, Tonks and Remus were in their bedroom with notebooks and parchment spread across the bed between them.

"It's the first day of lessons, so you won't need to do much. The students won't want to do much on the first day anyway. Talk about their summers, learn a bit about the first years." Remus said, leaning against their pillows. He felt dreadful. Clearly the few bites of dinner he had managed were not settling well. The small bit of morphing he had managed earlier in the day based on her instruction was gone and he felt a bit shaky. Now that he really thought about it, he had noticed that Tonks had looked like she had not been feeling well after meals for around three weeks. How had they not figured it out? They had been trying so often(as often as possible anyway, with a son who ended up in bed with them nearly every night like clockwork) and somehow managed to miss the most obvious signs that it had happened. Remus wondered if Tonks still felt the disbelief he felt.

"And what are you doing tomorrow morning?" Tonks was asking.

"Dropping Teddy off at Andromeda's and going to your work to tell Dawlish our news."

"Yes, but you're not going to call her 'Andromeda', are you?"

Remus sighed. "I'll try not to." He said. "I wrote you some notes to help you with your classes-"

"Of course you did." Tonks teased. "Now, don't forget to eat something before you go. Trust me, you do not want to be Apparating on an empty stomach right now."

Remus nodded but the idea of food was somewhat revolting. How she had gone through this before and still insisted they try for another baby was beyond him.

"And don't wear the same jeans you wore yesterday." Tonks continued. "The bottom drawer are all of my looser jeans, start wearing those ones. You don't need to wear the Auror robes either, Dawlish won't expect you to be in uniform once he knows, but you'll need to have my badge on you at all times."

Remus nodded again. "I'm hoping there's an update on this situation soon."

"Oh, really? You're not having a good time?" Tonks asked. "Come on, have some fun with it. You're young- well, not that young-"

"You're barely thirty, Dora, you are not old-"

"Well, now I'm forty three." She corrected him. "You're younger, you can do whatever you want to your appearance, you don't need to worry about the full moon next week, you're-"

"Severely nauseated."

"It'll pass." Tonks said. "You get to experience parenthood in a way you didn't before."

"I'm not sure I like it, honestly." Remus said. "And I want this to be fixed before the full moon. You do not deserve to go through that,-"

"You let me worry about the full moon. You're not a werewolf anymore." She said. "Just sit back and let me moan on about the moon. Oh, I'm too old for you, I'm dangerous, I'm going to be a pouty pain in the arse..."

Remus laughed. "I don't sound like that."

"Maybe not anymore, but you did."

Remus sighed, leaning forward and collecting the parchment and notebooks. "Let's get some sleep. Maybe we'll be lucky to wake up as ourselves tomorrow."

"Oh, someone's a bit grumpy. Damn hormones, huh?"

Remus gave her a look as he stood and piled the notebooks and parchment onto the dresser while Tonks moved the pens to her nightstand. "It's been a long day and I'm tired." Remus said, climbing back into bed. "I'm not sure your hormones have anything to do with it."

"They're not my hormones right now." Tonks said, climbing into bed next to him.

"They would be if I hadn't asked you on a date."

Tonks laughed. "Maybe next time we go on a date, we go somewhere Muggle, yeah?"

"Sounds like a good idea. Less spilled potions."

Tonks was quiet for a moment. "Do you think St Mungo's will reverse this? I mean, the note in the paper..."

"Maybe X will reverse it once they see what they want to see." Remus offered.

"But what does X want to see?" Tonks asked, turning to him. "X says they're watching but for what? And how? Hopefully not our homes..."

Remus hadn't even considered that. "Should we put charms around the house to keep people away?"

"Well, we live in a Muggle neighbourhood, that kind of stuff could be noticed." Tonks said. "We already moved into the 'weird' house on the street, we don't want to bring that reputation back, right?"

They had moved into Alastor's house shortly after Teddy turned one, having spent almost a year stripping the house from attic to cellar of enchantments and protective gadgets and the aging not-very-baby-safe furniture. Luckily, Sirius didn't have a lot to do while Kingsley was busy doing his Minister duties, so he helped. So did Bill and Fleur, Molly and Arthur, even Harry, Ron and Hermione and the twins had helped. There were so many days where Remus and Tonks would be doing work on the house and another Order member would be there helping.

Unfortunately, moving into Alastor Moody's house meant they were the 'weird' house. For the first while, the neighbours didn't really interact with them. It wasn't until one random evening in the summer around six months after they moved in, while they were sitting on the front steps with Teddy playing on the grass in the front garden, that their direct next door neighbour had finally stopped by their front gate to talk with them briefly. And for the first two years, kids avoided their house on Halloween.

Now, it seemed they had finally shaken the reputation of the 'weird' house and Remus knew Tonks was correct- they didn't want to accidentally restart the rumours.

"What if it's a weird sex thing?" Tonks asked suddenly.

Remus let out a small laugh. "Then X chose the wrong couples."

"Excuse me, I happen to think our sex life is great."

"Didn't you just say yesterday that it could be better?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow at her. "And it's not like we do anything too indecent... I'd be worried X would get a bit bored with our focus on just having a baby. God, I don't remember the last time we really did anything other than missionary or spooning. You were right yesterday when you said we've just been having sex with an end goal. Not very romantic, is it?" Tonks laughed at this. "Besides, I didn't mean us, Dora. I met one of the other couples, remember? They hated each other. I doubt X would get to see anything fun there. I also doubt many of the couples are planning to have sex during this. It'd be a bit odd, don't you think?"

Tonks shrugged. "I don't think so." She said simply, and he frowned slightly. "I kind of think it'd be... well, not quite masturbation, but similar. Don't you think?"

"I- I have not thought about it, no." Remus admitted, his cheeks warming slightly.

"Yeah, but you've done it, right?" Tonks asked.

"Not- not really, no."

"But it's normal, Remus. You're saying you've never had a quick wank when I've not been in the mood?"

Remus choked on his own breath. Why did she always need to dig into the topics he found mildly uncomfortable? "I- not really."

"The entire time we've been married?" Tonks asked, looking a bit like she did not believe him.

"I didn't say that, I said 'not really'. I don't... I don't need to do that." Remus said. "The last time might have been right before the first full moon after Teddy was born, but I honestly can't remember. Are you saying you remember the last time you've done it?"

"Yes. It was when I was stuck in Paris for three weeks with Harry last year." Tonks said. "Quick get off in the shower, didn't feel so grumpy afterwards."

"So, you think X is hoping the couples might share your opinion and have sex so they can see?" Remus asked, frowning.

"Maybe."

"Well, I highly doubt the Wadesburrows are going to be giving X much of a show, if that's the case." Remus said. "We may not be very exciting, but their sex life must be completely dead."

"I am glad ours is not and that it's been successful." Tonks said, poking his abdomen. "Still bitter that I'm missing out on my own pregnancy."

"If we could fix it right now, I would happily do so." Remus said. "I truly have a new respect for you wanting this. If I had known how it actually felt, I might have been more hesitant."

"But you would have given in." Tonks said. "Because you love Teddy and you'd love another, too."

Remus nodded.

Tonks raised her hand and turned the lamps off. "Well, at least there's a baby, I suppose." She said quietly. "I shouldn't care how it happens as long as we get our baby at the end."

Remus reached over and took her hand. "It'll be alright this time."

"I hope so." She said, squeezing his hand. "God, I didn't realise my hands actually do feel cold to you."

"And now I understand why you like to cuddle at night." Remus said. "I haven't been human since I was four, it is a bit odd."

Tonks shifted closer to him. "When we first met, before I knew how young you actually were when it happened, I still thought it was unfair what had been robbed from you. I had assumed, perhaps, you were a teenager or in your twenties when it had happened, but... then Kingsley told me." Tonks said quietly. "And I look at Teddy, and I can't imagine you being so tiny and suffering in such a way."

"Fortunately, I got used to it quite quickly. It became routine, every month the same..."

"But not this one." She said. "If this isn't fixed, you'll get to see the full moon-"

"I see it every month. Our cellar has a window."

"You'll get to see it through human eyes, Remus."

"I'm not really planning any moonlit strolls."

Tonks laughed quietly, his deep throaty chuckle. "I'm just saying... you could."

Remus hummed, but didn't respond. He didn't want to see the moon through his wife's eyes, because that meant she was suffering through the night in his body. Even with Wolfsbane, the transformation wasn't painless.

Any spiraling or dwelling, however, was interrupted by the tell-tale sound of tiny feet creeping down the hall. "Earlier than usual." Tonks remarked, releasing Remus' hand and turning on a lamp. She got out of bed, walking across the room and opening the door. "Did you try sleeping in your own bed at all tonight?"

Teddy gave her a sheepish grin and Tonks stepped back, gesturing Teddy towards the bed. He ran and jumped onto the bed, crawling to situate himself in the middle. Tonks walked back over, climbing into bed as Teddy settled himself against the pillows.

"I might be okay with a baby sister." Teddy said in a loud whisper. "When do we get the new baby?"

"Like we said at dinner, not until February." Tonks said.

"Where do they came from?" Teddy asked.

Tonks and Remus exchanged a look over his head. They had never discussed how to explain it to Teddy, as they had hoped it would happen when Teddy was too young to ask. "Uh, well... do you know how Auntie Fleur's belly's gotten so round?" Tonks asked.

"Uh-huh."

"Well, women have a special organ in their bodies called the uterus." Tonks said slowly. "And it's where babies grow until they're big enough."

"But how do the babies get there?" Teddy asked.

"With a spell." Remus said quickly. "You'll learn all about it when you're old enough."

"So where's your baby then, Mummy?" Teddy asked, facing Remus.

"Well, it's very small right now." Tonks said, and Teddy turned to look at her. "In a few weeks, Mum's belly will start to grow just like Auntie Fleur's."

"How do you know when the baby is big enough?"

"Our bodies do." Tonks said. "Well, Mum's body does, I mean."

"And how do you know when there's going to be a baby to grow?"

"Well, there are signs." Remus said. "Once the Mum and Dad decide they want to have a baby, there are signs they can watch for after the spell to see if it's happened, and then we visit a Healer and she tells us if it's happening or not and when the baby will be born."

"And how does she know?"

"Also with spells." Tonks said.

"But what about the Muggles? They don't have magic."

"They have their own ways."

"Like what?" Teddy asked, and Remus sighed.

"Teddy, if you're going to sleep in our bed, you have to actually sleep." Remus said in a gentle but firm tone. "We're both very tired."

"Sorry." Teddy said, snuggling between them further. "We can sleep."

Remus and Tonks exchanged smiles above his head before also shifting so they were cuddled closer to Teddy. Remus raised his hand, turning the lamps off. "Can't wait until we've got two of them interrogating us before bed." Remus whispered.

"We might need to get a bigger bed if we're to have two of them share with us." Tonks whispered back.

"Nuh-uh!" Teddy whispered loudly. "I'm not sharing my cuddles."

"That smells foul." Remus grumbled from where he was sitting at the table.

"What does? The cat food?" Tonks asked, and Remus nodded. "Well, Gerard needs to eat, so..." She looked down at the saucer of cat food in her hand and then at her own very pale face. "I'll open the door, he can eat on the steps outside."

"Thank you."

Gerard, their massive black and white cat, weaved his way under the dining room chairs, clearly wondering why Tonks(or, rather, why 'Remus') hadn't set his breakfast down yet. "Alright, Gerard, you're out today." Tonks said, heading for the garden door. "Don't wander too far, alright?"

She opened the back door, setting his saucer on the steps and leaving the garden door open to let a bit of fresh air in. Gerard was generally well behaved and did not wander far, which was good. It saved them from wondering if he was coming home or not. He had shown up shortly before Teddy's third birthday and caused a rather lengthy argument between Remus and Sirius about the risk of it being an unregistered Animagus. He had been a tiny thing, no more than a few months old, and they had not been prepared for how large the cat would get. But Teddy loved the cat and Gerard did not seem to mind Remus(unlike many animals), so the cat stayed.

Tonks made breakfast while Remus disappeared upstairs to drag Teddy out of their bed. By the time he returned, Tonks was putting bacon and eggs and toast on the table.

"What time does your shift start today?" Tonks asked Remus, as he usually asked her every morning. But she likely also wanted to make sure he remembered her schedule. His was easy- breakfast at Hogwarts started at six, lessons started at nine(but Remus was usually at the school by eight), and ended at four(he'd usually make it home by five). Remus would sometimes use the lunch break to come home quickly if Tonks was home but often used the time to grade assignments.

"Start at nine, should be home by five or six." Remus said and Tonks nodded. That likely wouldn't be the case after telling Dawlish about the baby, he knew. Last time, her shifts had gone from varying between eight and eleven hours to varying between five to seven.

Remus managed a few slices of bacon and the yolks from the fried eggs, earning a raised eyebrow from Tonks. "I'll eat more later." He promised. "I just don't want the whites of the eggs-"

"That's the healthy part."

"Well, I don't want them."

"Are you alright to clean up breakfast? I should shower."

Remus nodded. "I'll do it."

Tonks stood, taking her plate to the sink. "I'll be back down in a minute."

"Can you shave today?" Remus asked. "You know I love you, but I really don't like the facial hair."

Tonks laughed as she left the room. Remus began to clean up the breakfast dishes while Teddy launched into some long winded explanation of his dream from the night before. Tonks came back downstairs half an hour later, dressed(and shaven).

"Just for you." She said, squeezing his shoulder. "Turns out the same spell for my legs works for the face too." She whispered in his ear.

"Imagine that." Remus responded. "Thank you."

It didn't feel like something that should be a big deal but for some reason, it felt like one to Remus. He didn't like looking unshaven or ragged in any way. He had always worked hard to try to hide his poverty(it hadn't always worked) and even though he didn't have to worry so much now, the habits still remained.

"Alright, Teddy, go get dressed." Tonks said, straightening up and fiddling with the cuffs of the shirt she was wearing. "You need to go to Granny's."

"Aw, Daddy, do I have to?" Teddy asked.

"Yes, because we have to go to work." Tonks said.

"Why can't we all stay home?"

"Because this is just how it is." Remus said. "We go to work, you go to Granny's."

Teddy sighed, but dragged himself off of the chair and disappeared upstairs.

There was a crack of Apparition and Gerard came sprinting into the house, finding sanctuary behind Remus' legs at the table. Harry walked across the back garden, carrying three to-go cups. "Something kept me awake all night." He said as he stepped over Gerard's saucer and into the kitchen, setting the cardboard tray on the table and handing them each a cup. "Sit, I want to tell you what I figured out."

"What did you figure out?" Tonks asked as Harry sat across from the two of them. Harry didn't respond immediately, looking like he was gathering his thoughts. Tonks drank her tea slowly, watching Harry's face. Remus was a bit more hesitant to drink his, mostly just because he was rather hesitant to put too much into his stomach at the moment. The nausea did seem to move in waves, it had ranged from barely there to being absent all night, and he knew it'd pass soon.

"I figured out what's been going on with you two." Harry finally said. "Now, I know you wouldn't lie about a pregnancy just to throw us all off but I do think there's more to it than you've let on. You've been odd for a few days, which doesn't exactly line up, but... yesterday, you were quiet and you let me take the lead on the case that Dawlish gave us. Your face when you read the Daily Prophet article didn't seem too surprised, you admitted you were in Diagon Alley the night before and Ginny's pregnant, by the way."

"What?" Tonks asked, looking taken aback by the way he had switched topics so suddenly.

"And yet, you don't look very surprised, Remus. And unless Tonks told you, which I don't think she would because I asked her not to, there's one other reason you might already know, Remus." Harry said. "You're hiding something and I'm sure I've figured it out-"

"You're right." Tonks said simply. "We're getting a divorce. That's what we've been hiding. The pregnancy is just unfortunate timing."

"No, it isn't." Remus said immediately when Harry paled significantly. "That's not funny-"

"See! That, right there!" Harry cried exasperatedly. "That's a joke Tonks would make and that's exactly what Remus would say right back! Not to mention, neither of you mentioned that I gave you the wrong tea!"

Tonks and Remus stared at their cups. No, Remus hadn't noticed. He hadn't thought anything of it when he had tasted honey in his tea. That was how he liked it while Tonks insisted honey in tea was foul, but of course Harry knew that.

"And there were questions that Andromeda asked you-" He pointed at Remus. "-but you answered." He pointed at Tonks.

"So... you told him we were in Diagon Alley?" Tonks asked Remus.

"I didn't realise he'd launch an investigation over it."

"You would have, if you were actually Tonks." Harry said. "Because she taught me-"

"Never tell an Auror anything you wouldn't want used against you in an investigation." Tonks said quietly. "I'd love to see the conspiracy board you've got going in your flat over this."

Harry reached into his jacket and pulled out a small notebook, tossing it onto the table. "I outlined it all in there."

Remus picked up the notebook, flipping through it. There were a lot of notes about everything from how Tonks' behaviour had changed over the last few days(and the drastic change from the day before last), plus the entire conversation at dinner. Remus was sure he hadn't missed a single detail.

"It's very detailed." Remus finally said. "Impressive."

"Thank you, Remus. I was trained by the best." Harry said, leaning back and crossing his arms. "So, now what happens?"

Chapter Text

Luckily, it was easy to convince Harry to stay quiet. It was not Tonks' joke-threat of having a secret of Harry's as leverage that worked, however. They all knew that Remus and Tonks would not betray Harry's(or Ginny's) trusts by revealing the pregnancy before they were ready. Harry had simply agreed that it ultimately wouldn't do any good to reveal the body-swap.

Tonks and Harry were partners and they had been assigned the case together and Harry worried that if they told Dawlish that Tonks and Remus were actually victims, he'd likely lose his partner. Technically, Tonks could still help investigate even while pregnant, but if Dawlish knew Tonks was not actually Tonks... would he let her keep working? Likely not.

And what better way to investigate than to have one of the victims helping?

"Maybe this will help us." Harry said. "Maybe we can use your memories, borrow the Pensieve from Minerva and see this X, see when the switch happened-"

"No." Remus said. "I assume it happened when we were asleep-"

"Yeah, but what if we can still see it happen? It could give us a clue-" Harry argued.

"We can't remember what we didn't see." Tonks said. "But if you take our memories, you certainly won't forget what you see."

Harry looked confused.

"We shagged." Tonks said simply, and Harry groaned.

"Dora!" Remus said exasperatedly. "Harry does not need to know."

"Well, if he insisted on taking our memories, he'd have found out." Tonks argued back.

The conversation ceased when Teddy finally returned, wearing an extremely mismatched outfit. Andromeda would likely raise an eyebrow at it, but Remus didn't exactly have the time or energy to care.

"Alright, you need to get to Hogwarts." He said to Tonks. "And I need a shower. Harry, can you watch Teddy?"

"Of course." Harry said. "Or, would you like me to take him to Andromeda's and then come back so we can Floo together?"

"That would be very helpful." Tonks said, grabbing Remus' workbag. "I'll see you all later. Teddy, behave for Granny."

"I'll try." Teddy said in a sing-song voice as Tonks disappeared into the flames.

"Alright, his bag is by the front door-" Remus began.

"Yeah, I got it. I'll get him to Andromeda's and be back in a few." Harry said, leaving the kitchen with Teddy trailing behind him. Teddy immediately began to argue why all of the adults should skip work that day(his main reasoning being because he wanted them to).

Remus headed upstairs, stripping out of the joggers and tshirt he had grabbed the night before. Really, he had started the night in just one of his own tshirts but he had been cold when he had gotten up two times in the middle of the night to use the loo.

"You alright?" His own voice, gravely with sleep, asked from the other side of the bed after the second time he returned.

"I now understand what it meant when you complained of the 'baby bladder' issue." Remus said, and his own deep chuckle was the only response he got.

Remus stared at himself- well, his wife- in the mirror. Her body had changed during, and after, her pregnancy with Teddy but she had also bounced back remarkably quick(likely thanks to her abilities meaning her body was used to changes). Her stomach, while not as rigid and muscular as it had been when they first began seeing each other, was still nearly flat. However, now that he thought about it, it had been flatter a couple of weeks prior. Her hands were soft and uncalloused, and he brushed her hand over her abdomen, over the slightest swell that had previously gone unnoticed.

He shook his head, clearing his thoughts, and hurried through a shower. Then he got dressed, in the looser jeans she had told him to wear, and one of his own sweaters. It was not unusual for Tonks to steal a sweater from him.

He used her wand to dry her hair, but decided to forego any attempt at morphing. It felt too strange to him and, quite frankly, he worshipped her unchanged self. Remus was also glad her wand obeyed him and that his obeyed Tonks, as he figured that would be an added complication they didn't need.

Harry was waiting in the kitchen when he returned downstairs, Gerard sitting by the now-locked kitchen door and looking as annoyed as a cat could look. "Sorry, were you waiting long?" Remus asked.

"No, not at all." Harry said, his eyes twinkling. "Do you want to know the first thing Teddy said to Andromeda?"

Remus narrowed his eyes. "I don't know... do I?"

"As soon as she said good morning, he says 'Mummy and Daddy told me how babies are made!' and then he asked how the baby gets out." Harry said, bursting into laughter. "I don't think I've ever seen Andromeda look so horrified."

Remus shut his eyes, his face burning. "We told him it was a spell." Remus said. "Because obviously we know Teddy loves sharing the new things he learns and we do not need him telling everyone what his parents have gotten up to."

Harry was still laughing. "Come on, we're all adults now, we know the basics. Unless you mean to say there is actually a spell, Moony."

"I can tell you spend too much time with Dora with how you take the piss out of me some days." Remus said over Harry's laughter. "I'm just going to grab Dora's boots and then I'm ready." Remus said, heading through the living room to grab Tonks' work boots. He hoped Andromeda wouldn't give Teddy any lessons on anatomy today. Teddy, of course, already knew there were differences between the bodies of men and women, but Remus did not want to have to discuss more than what they already had yet.

He carried Tonks' boots to the kitchen, stuffing his feet in when he was in front of the fireplace. He waved Tonks' wand, tying the laces.

"Tonks would never use magic to tie her boots." Harry commented casually. "It's like you want people to notice you're not Tonks."

"Well, it's a good thing no one's here to see that, then." Remus remarked. It was only half past eight but Remus figured it was probably good to get the meeting out of the way earlier. "I never thought the words 'I'm pregnant' would come out of my mouth, but let's get this over with."

"Well, not your mouth, is it?"

Remus didn't respond, but instead grabbed a handful of Floo Powder. He disappeared through the flames and then stood aside, waiting for Harry to come through. Once he did, they headed for the lifts.

"This is really not something I ever thought I'd be doing." Remus said as the lift stopped and they stepped out.

"Yeah, I don't imagine it's happens often." Harry remarked. "Not many women in the office and even fewer that are in your spot."

"So, you're telling me there's at least one other poor bloke in my position?"

"Oh, no, not what I meant at all. I meant women asking for maternity leave." Harry said. "Just make sure to tell Dawlish you want to keep investigating X because you don't think there'll be any violence. I don't want to work the case with someone else."

Remus nodded. "What do you think X's motivation is? Since you spent so long last night thinking about the case."

"My first instinct was something sexual." Harry admitted as they approached Dawlish's door. "Considering he's gone after couples..."

"Now I know you're spending too much time with Dora." Remus muttered under his breath so only Harry could hear. "That's what she said last night."

Harry shrugged, knocking on Dawlish's door. "Do you want me to come in with you? I... I did last time."

"Did you?" Remus asked. He had known Tonks had been nervous about telling Dawlish she was pregnant last time(but having to owl him and request time off when she lost the baby had been so much worse), but he hadn't known Harry had gone with her. "Sure, then."

The door opened and Dawlish looked up from the report he was writing. "What is it?" Dawlish asked as they entered his office. "Do you have an update on X?"

"No." Remus said as they approached his desk. He took a deep breath, deciding it would be better to say it outright instead of easing into it. "I just found out yesterday, we are having another baby."

Dawlish stared at him for a moment and then grinned. "That's brilliant, Tonks! I know you two have wanted one for a while, Remus must be thrilled!"

"Yes, very." Remus breathed, letting out a relieved laugh.

"So, first, I have to ask- you said you found out yesterday, did you get confirmation from St Mungo's?" Dawlish asked, digging through his desk.

"Yes."

"Good, good, alright... oh, here it is." Dawlish pulled out a form. "Very rare for Aurors to request leaves, I always lose these damn forms. Alright, so type of leave... it'll be maternity... when will your leave start?"

"Well, the baby will be born at the end of February, so..."

"End of February?" Dawlish asked, raising an eyebrow. "Now, Tonks, I can count. That's only six months."

"I know. We didn't know before yesterday, I promise." Remus said quickly. "No symptoms, no signs, nothing to indicate."

After a moment, Dawlish nodded and returned to the form. "Alright, so end of January then, yeah? I mean, you could leave any time you wanted, really. It's your choice."

"End of January should be fine."

"Alright and until then, cut your shifts down. No shifts longer than seven hours, no raids, deskwork... you know the routine."

He did not, but he'd ask Tonks later.

"I'd like to still help Harry with this case." Remus said.

"I don't believe X wants to be violent, I think they're just causing trouble. We've also gotten new leads." Harry added quickly.

"Have you?" Dawlish asked, suddenly looking interested.

"We've talked to some of the victims." Harry said quickly. That technically wasn't a lie. "I'm hoping to get a detailed description soon enough, maybe take it to Diagon Alley and see if anyone knows. Check in with Figglesprout at St Mungo's."

Dawlish was quiet for a moment. "Oh, alright, but no risks. If Harry has to make an arrest, he takes someone else. If he has to conduct a search, he takes someone else. Anything that might put you in a risky situation, he takes someone else. Got it?"

Remus nodded. "Understood."

"Potter?"

Harry nodded too. "Got it."

They left the office, heading for Harry and Tonks' desks. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" Harry asked.

"It wasn't great." Remus said, sitting in Tonks' chair. "Where do we start? I'm following your lead."

Harry shrugged, opening the file on his desk. "I think we ought to go talk to Figglesprout again." He finally said.

"Why? I thought you wanted to go to Diagon Alley."

Harry sat in his chair, facing Remus. "I know we have a description of X. However, he might not know we have it."

"So?"

"So, let him think it for a while longer. I'd like to give him some time to feel comfortable enough to show his face again. Then, when we revisit Diagon Alley, maybe people will have seen him again." Harry said. "I highly doubt he's going to disappear, he said he was watching, didn't he?"

"Isn't that a potential problem? He knows who he did this to. If he's really watching everyone, he could know exactly what we're doing."

"There's no way he's able to watch fourteen people at once." Harry said.

"Right, but don't you think he'd be the most interested in the Auror handling the case against him?" Remus asked.

Harry was quiet for a moment. "No." He finally said. "I think he'd be trying to watch wherever the most excitement is. And since Dawlish made that statement last night, the others could be at St Mungo's."

"And X would likely like to watch St Mungo's try to fix this-"

"You saw the Wadesburrows yesterday. I imagine multiple couples arguing like that is likely more entertaining than following a single Auror around. There's a chance we'll spot him or a chance he'll see us there and head back to Diagon Alley, where others will see him."

Remus nodded. "Alright, St Mungo's it is, then."

Harry nodded, standing. Remus stood and they left the Auror department. "Floo or Apparate?" Harry asked. "Tonks always had a preference... last time."

'Last time' was definitely a thought that plagued Remus' mind. People often seemed to skirt around any conversation that might remind them, to the point where Tonks would get annoyed when the other person was making an obvious attempt, but Remus knew that a lot of people around them right now were not around during her pregnancy with Teddy, so their only frame of reference was the few short months they got 'last time'.

"Floo." Remus said quickly. He had not listened to Tonks' request to eat something else after his rather dismal breakfast and did not want to learn firsthand why she warned against Apparating on an empty stomach right now. There was a reason she had warned against it and he was not going to find out.

Remus followed Harry down the atrium, where Harry pulled out a small bag of Floo Powder. "Always carry it on me." Harry said, when Remus raised an eyebrow. He held it out to Remus, who took a small handful. He had never considered carrying it on his person, but he supposed it could help an Auror if they were out and about on an investigation. Harry took a handful too, tossing it into the flames. "St Mungo's hospital!"

Harry disappeared through the flames and Remus followed. The reception area was emptier than it had been the day before and the Welcome Witch waved them by when Harry said who they came to see. They walked along the stark white corridors and up the stairs to where they had met the Wadesburrows and Figglesprout the day before, but this ward was quiet too. Figglesprout was sitting at a desk near the entrance and looked a bit surprised to see them.

"Healer Figglesprout, we came to see if you had any updates." Harry said as they approached. "Did anyone else come by?"

"Yes, actually. Shortly after Head Auror Dawlish's statement in the Daily Prophet this morning, five more couples came in to report that it had happened to them." Figglesprout said. "If we're to believe X's note, that leaves one who hasn't come forward."

Harry glanced sideways towards Remus. "I am sure when you say you can fix it, they'll come forward." Harry said. "Any update on that?"

"We've tried spells and different potions on a few of the couples." Figglesprout said. "Sent them all home a while ago while we research a bit more."

"You said you tried them on a few couples, why only a few?" Harry asked.

"One couple was adamant that they didn't want anything tried unless we could guarantee it would fix it." Healer Figglesprout said. "And another one, we're not sure we can test a bunch of spells and potions on them. They have a baby due in a week, you see, and we don't know if the spells and potions will cause harm."

"Do you think the switch could have caused any issue?" Remus asked, suddenly feeling a little anxious.

"No, we did conduct an examination and both mother and baby seem perfectly healthy." Figglesprout said and Remus immediately felt relieved. "Still, we can't be sure what will happen if we go casting spells or giving out potions."

"Right..." Harry said slowly. "Do you have everyone's names, then?"

"Yes, of course, let me get the information for you." Figglesprout said, grabbing a few files and a sheet of parchment. He wrote down a few names and addresses, holding it out to Harry. "I don't suppose you've caught X yet, then?"

"No, still looking." Harry said. "Send an owl if you get any closer to reversing it, yeah? Maybe we can use the method of reversal to figure out how he did it in the first place."

"You'll be the first to know." Figglesprout said.

Harry read the list as they left the ward, but didn't speak until they were descending the stairs.

"Well, it's interesting, don't you agree?" Harry asked, his tone a little too casual suddenly.

"What?"

"There is some other poor bloke in the same position as you."

"I would argue that in a week, his position is going to be much worse."

Tonks stood in front of the class as her very first group of students- the first years, fittingly- filed in. At least they wouldn't be familiar with Remus and would not notice anything off.

Last night, she had noticed their writing still looked like their own. It made sense, she supposed, since they'd hold the writing instrument the way they were used to and their hands would move the same way, but now she was a bit paranoid that someone might notice.

She felt a bit uncomfortable as she looked at the notes Remus had made for her. She didn't mind children(obviously) but she was not entirely comfortable being surrounded by them. And being back at the school was not exactly her favourite thing, either. She had nightmares nearly every night for months after the battle and still had them randomly even now. Remus had always understood why she never came back to the school, especially after that last encounter with Bellatrix, and she was starting to think agreeing to teach in his place might have been the wrong choice.

But, they had a second baby on the way. They both needed their jobs. They'd simply have to make it work until this got fixed.

Tonks stumbled her way through attendance but the first years seemed just as uncertain as she felt. Great, at least they already had something in common.

"So, as you may know, I am Professor Lupin." Tonks began. "Now, in the past, this class used to be an elective only for third years and up. Does anyone know why it changed?"

One hand at the very back of the room went up slowly.

"Yes, Mr..." She consulted the seating chart. This would be Albert Williams. "...Williams."

"My Dad told me it's because of the war." Albert said. "That it's a core subject now because it's important that we know and understand about Muggles."

"Your father is right." Tonks said. "It is more important now than it was before that we understand how our two societies function, independently and combined. It is believed that by teaching students about Muggles, we can continue to work towards a more tolerant future. For instance, how many here live in the Muggle world?" A few hands cautiously rose. Tonks nodded. "So do I. Nearly always have, actually."

Luckily, that was true for both her and Remus, so it wasn't exactly a lie.

"So, at least a few of you already know how to coexist with Muggles. Not always easy, is it?" Tonks continued, trying not to make it obvious that she was reading from the notebook on the desk. "So, as this is our first lesson, I thought we might learn a bit about each other. I'd like all of you to write down five things you know about the Muggle world. It could be absolutely anything, except for the obvious- that they don't have magic- and we'll discuss it in five minutes."

By the time the lunch bell rang, Tonks felt a little more confident. She had managed through two classes without any issue. The third years did exchange a few looks when she introduced herself, which she supposed was odd because Remus would have known they knew him and likely wouldn't have felt the need to introduce himself.

She sent off a Patronus to Remus once the classroom was empty. "Please tell me you've learned something new, I am not a natural teacher like you. These students might think you're having a mental breakdown." She had said.

It was another ten minutes before a response arrived. "Nothing yet, but Dawlish says 'congratulations'. I'm sure you're doing wonderful, I love you."

That was disappointing. She still had to fumble her way through the fourth and seventh years today and she definitely did not think she had the natural ability to teach like Remus did. He was so good with kids in every situation that she sometimes still had moments where she felt like he was a far better parent than she was. He could calm one of Teddy's temper tantrums with a few words. She, on the other hand, got increasingly frustrated. She had never yelled at Teddy(she had raised her voice, but never a proper yell), but she had never heard Remus even raise his voice. Teddy knew it too. He knew he could push and push their limits and Remus would remain calm the entire time.

And yet she was the one in front of a class full of students. She would much rather be stuck teaching Auror recruits.

At least there were no five year olds at Hogwarts.