Archive of Our Own ^beta

For a long time, Subspace has felt empty. No matter what greatness he does, perfecting his Biografts, finishing a particularly difficult task, he doesn’t feel that spark of accomplishment he used to. It’s getting harder to get himself out of bed in the morning, but he’s Subspace T. Mine! The best scientist to ever live, he’s just an inphernal having an off day!

He kidnaps and disfigures others in the name of science, yet it’s so vital for his experiments!

 Something unwanted and dreadful lay in the back of Subspace’s thoughts, buried far behind his ego and selfish exterior. A cruel undesirable hatred for himself and what he’s become. He’s not a monster! He can’t be! Yet the cries of test subjects stain his thoughts, the screaming, the pleading….the last time he’d seen Medkit

He’s cruel, but it’s needed to be a great scientist!

He shook away the memory with such force he could swear he’d given himself a migraine. Subspace is a good inphernal, he has to be! Everything he’s done for Blackrock has put him in the spotlight, so many eyes upon him watching in awe as he revolutionizes the industry. He’s needed, he’s beloved!

He’s feared too isn’t he?

By the Swords, Subspace is even renowned as one the greatest scientist in blackrock! Despite the high praise from his superior’s he finds himself sitting alone in his lab, mindlessly fidgeting with some spare parts, he can’t help but feel disgusting.

Rotten flesh covers half of his skin, he looks like a ghost

He originally tried to dismiss the thoughts as his distaste towards his disability, but Subspace knew there was more to it, he didn’t just hate how his body ached and got weaker by the day, it ran deeper, too deep for him to properly understand. The complex emotions in Subspace’s already unstable mind were simply too much for him to even dare process. 

He has blood on his hands, but it’s to provide a better future for Blackrock isn’t it?

He can’t stop thinking about Medkit, but he was clearly in the right! He was just innovating for Blackrock, Subspace hadn’t done anything wrong! He’s innocent!

Was he innocent? Subspace doesn’t like to recall the incident, but part of him questions if he’d gone too far. He remembers how he’d grabbed Medkit’s eye and pulled, ripping it right out with as much force as possible. There was a stunned silence as the blood dripped from his coworker’s empty eye socket before they screamed in-

Subspace didn’t want to remember the horror on Medkit’s face, the fact that he’d fought back in terror instead of malice, causing the very rot that seeped through the scientist’s bones like a venomous snake, maybe if he’d listened it wouldn’t have happened…

Medkit wouldn’t have hurt him if he didn’t mutilate them first

There was so much blood, it coated his glove in crimson.

But Subspace couldn’t take it back, he couldn’t mend what he’d already broken. Medkit was a fugitive, hiding somewhere even he can’t track down, all because of the gruesome tragedy he’d caused that night.

Subspace was feared more then he was admired, praise only ever coming from his higher-ups.

 Even Hyperlaser looked uncomfortable to be in the same room as him, he’s so vile the mercenary hates him.

 Even knowing how rotten he is, Subspace doesn’t think he can change. He’ll always be horrible, apologies are a lost cause. Even if he craves forgiveness, he knows better then that. No inphernal can just say sorry after permanently disfiguring someone and trying to get them arrested for years, Medkit would beat him to a pulp.

He’d deserve it

Because he didn’t deserve to be forgiven, Medkit’s whole life had been ruined by Subspace.

He’s always been like this, as long as he can remember. It’s far too late to have a fresh start, the only thing he can do is continue on as the monster he’s created. Subspace had dug his own grave and he knew he was just going to get worse from here.

He’s worthless! He’s dying! He’s nothing!

He stares at his rotten hand, tears threatening to spill from his remaining eye, Subpsace’s lab felt more claustrophobic then it’s ever been. He closes his eye firmly, refusing to sob as his thoughts overwhelm him.

He’ll never change, he’ll never redeem himself, when Blackrock finally doesn’t have a use for him they’ll let Banhammer drag him away kicking and screaming. Because the only thing keeping him out of the Banlands is their favoritism, it will run dry eventually…

He already damages their reputation by simply being there, the rumors of the labs were started because of what he’d done

And that’s exactly how it will stay until he dies, Subspace is nothing more then a beast on display for everyone to jeer at

He’ll rot away in a cell, one day reduced to nothing but a grisly corpse in a cage. A memory of an inphernal known only for his cruelty

 Monsters don’t deserve happy endings