Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Prompt Found in Tumbler. Hope you enjoy it. 

Danny had struggled when high school ended and when he went to college. Not for normal reasons. He was supposed to be the King of the Infinite Realms. A FUCKING KING! Sam and Tucker had drifted after their Junior year. They didn't appreciate being woken up at 2:30 in the morning to go and catch a ghost. Before leaving Amity Park Danny dismantled the Ghost Portal to his parents dismay/devastation. Danny was surviving off spite and copious amounts of caffeine. What possessed him to move to the curse ridden city called Gotham he will never know. He went to college and managed to graduate with reasonable grades while living in the shit box apartment. He dealt with working three jobs and getting very little sleep.

He walked away from his latest job (they fired him because they didn't want to pay him for his overtime) and was being a good boy. He saw a satchel, a very nice satchel made of faux leather and had some very pretty red strings. Danny stooped down and picked it up. There was a weight to it that didn't belong. He opened it up and blinked hard. This bag was a Wayne Enterprise design. Danny ran his fingers over the interior and felt the braille letters for T-I-M-B-I-T. 

Danny walked to the nearest cafe and sat down. Who or what was Timbit? He quickly searched online for any Timbit. Getting nowhere he looked around before hacking into the Wayne Enterprise sales records. Using a complex code to filter the results he began going through the sales of embroidered satchels and those with brail embossment. Danny felt the sensation of falling into the wormhole of hyper fixation. He was going through hundreds of sales. He managed to filter it down to a solid two hundred and forty four when he finally got frustrated. He quickly searched for Timbit and got a result. 

PURCHASE ORDER: 2249223

To: T.D.W

From: Purple Menace

Memo: Is Timmy in the Well?

Payment: $241.98 USD

-Alterations: +$21- Red Thread (TDW)

-Alterations: $ 12- Braille (T-I-M-B-I-T)

Delivery Address: Wayne Enterprise, 100 Main St and 82nd, Gotham New Jersey, 22287727

Danny straightened and quickly exited the website. He then got up and began walking. Wayne Enterprise stood tall in the high rises of Gotham. Owned and controlled by the illustrious Wayne family (Who helped pay for his college) and were known for their paranoia and their innovation. Danny had applied to work under a Mr.Fox but was beat out by a boy from the Narrows. Danny walked in and as he passed by a metal detector, a loud beep sounded. It was not like the alarm for metal being detected, instead it was more like an access pass. 

A security guard glanced up and spotted Danny, then looked back down to their game. Danny walked past, feeling embolden and decided to go to reception. A woman with dark skin and amber eyes was on hold by the audio coming from the phone speaker. 

“Excuse me.” Danny said. She held up a hand and took a deep breath. 

“Mr Leuvo, please call me so that we can discuss this matter.” The woman growled. Danny frowned and ignoring his midwestern manners. He grabbed the phone from the woman. 

“Good Morning Mr Leu, I hope that you can make time and give me a call back. This is from Mr. Wayne’s assistant. If your unable to respond in the next twenty minutes I am afraid we are going to have to move on. You can call me back at this number.” Danny then hung up. 

The woman glared at him. 

“Listen here you idi-” The phone rang. 

“Most arrogant people will let you chase them. The trick is to make them chase you.” Danny said, remembering the lesson from a girl who had bubblegum pink nails and bright blonde hair. 

The woman looked at the ringing phone and shrugged. “Fuck him. What can I help you with?” She asked. 

“Oh. Sorry, I found this bag on the street and figured that since this company created the bag, you would be able to find the owner. I didn't take anything from it.” Danny said, feeling that he needed to defend himself. 

The woman glanced at the bag before her eyes widened and she audibly gasped. Her hands shot out and gripped it tightly, yanking it across the desk.
“OMG!” She yelped, catching everyone’s attention and making them look over at them. She then ran out from behind the desk and to the ‘express’ elevator. Danny sighed before turning around and walking out. He had done his duty as a good samaritan. He walked past the guard who didn't even bother to look up. Danny had perfected being a ghost, having little to no presence. He walked out and went to his final job of the day. 

Tim was panicked. He had lost his bag when he had been kidnapped earlier in the day and it had several blue prints not to mention his off line tablet. He was trying to remember the code to ask for Barbara to scan with the cameras to try and find the damn thing when Tam came rocketing into his office. She held up his bag and Tim felt relief. She tossed it to him and he caught it, opening the bag and checking for tampering. There was none, it didn't even look like anyone had unzipped it. Tim quickly opened the bag and pulled out everything. Nothing was taken, not even the ‘spare’ money. 

“Who found it?” Tim asked, Tam was smiling but that fell when she realized that she had left the young man at the reception’s desk. 

“SHIT!” Tam barked before running back out. 

Tim pulled up the cameras and saw the wisp of the man as he exited. Turning down the street and disappearing into the crowd. 

“Who are you?” Tim asked. He looked at the clock. 1:30pm, a good time to go look for a burst of energy. He stood and walked to the newer cafe. 

Tim smirked as he spotted his target, standing behind the counter. 

“Excuse me.” Tim called, the man turned and Tim was struck by how pretty he was. Hair that had an black opalescent sheen and bright blue eyes, like the polar ice caps. Tim would have swooned but he had a job to do. “You found my satchel.” Tim stated. The man blinked at him. 

“Oh, Your Timbit!” The man with the ‘Danny’ sticker on his apron said. He leaned down to rest his elbow’s on the counter, cocking his head at Tim. 

“I prefer Tim.” Tim said, wishing that when Steph had bought him the bag she would have put Tim. 

Danny blushed. “Oh, must be a nickname from a sibling huh?” Danny smiled at Tim. 

“Uh.” Tim blue screened for a minute. Danny had pronounced canines that looked adorable. Tim blinked when he realized that there were people cueing behind him. “Yeah I guess you could say that. Can I get a cold brew coffee with four espresso shots?” Tim asked. 

“I don't know.” Danny grinned at Tim who was trying so hard not to focus on this perfect man. “Can you?” 

Tim was ready to throw down a ring and beg for this man to marry him. The competency that this man was portraying was hot as hell. 

“May I please have a cold brew coffee with four shots of espresso and a touch of sugar?” Tim asked. A few people chuckled behind him as Danny created the perfect creation of caffeine just for Tim. Danny winked at him before sticking a ghost sticker on the cup. Tim paid via card and then tipped 20 bucks. Danny smiled at him again and Tim managed to walk away, using his watch to take a picture of Danny. He was going to research the hell out of this man. 

“Hey Timbit!” Danny called, already in the mix of making someone else's drink. “If you want my picture, all you have to do is ask.” Tim blushed bright pink and slunk away. This was a very competent man. 

Danny slaved away at the coffee shop for a while when he saw the woman from Wayne Enterprise enter. She looked dead tired and ready to drop. 

“Wellcome to Crave Cafe, what can I get started for you?” Danny asked. She blinked at him and then she began to cry. 

Danny walked around the counter and held his hands up before tapping her shoulders. She folded into his chest as she began to hiccup. 

“Thank god I found you.” She warbled before realizing that she was hugging a total stranger. “Sorry. It has been a day.” She whimpered. 

“That’s ok. Can I help you with anything?” Danny asked, not trying to think of the snot that was currently soaking into his shirt/apron. 

“Do you know how to be a secretary?” The woman asked, sniffling. 

“Sorry, what?” Danny asked. 

Later that night Danny reclined on his couch. He had gotten a job offer from a woman who was going on a ‘mental health break’. Whatever that was. He had a job requirement list that was laminated and one of the responsibilities was ‘Gremlin Wrangling’. Danny poured himself a large tumber full of his Spooky Juice ™  from the gallon jug he had in fridge. The swirling concoction was spooky especially with the ghost shaped ice cubes that he liked using. He drank it and the fizzing sensation washing over his tongue gave him the final jump of energy that he needed to write up his resume. He had done a lot of jobs and including his schooling took him most of the night. He managed to crash around 1am and finally fell asleep for a solid 4.5 hours of sleep before his first job. Working at the bakery from 5am to 8am then a quick shower to get the flour and various other powders that came from being in a bakery before he grabbed a few coffees from Crave, waving to Natalie who was managing the cafe and walking to Wayne Enterprise. He slipped through the entrance and walked up to the 68th floor. The stairs were a nice form of exercise and he walked out into what could only be called a hostage situation. 

“TIMMOTHY DRAKE-WAYNE! PUT DOWN THE COFFEE MAKER!” The woman from yesterday who introduced herself as Ms Tamara Fox was threatening the young man with a metal ruler as Timbit (Timmothy) held a glass coffee pot over his head with his mouth under the spout. 

“IT OWES ME COFFEE!”  Tim screamed back. 

Danny must have made a noise because they both turned to look at him. He held up the tray of coffees and smiled at them. 

“I have some coffee.” He offered. 

Tim must have teleported because he appeared in front of Danny and grabbed a cup from the tray. He glanced at the label which stated LG CB C w/ 4 St EXP & 4 SG. Tim began drinking the coffee while Tam came over and grabbed a coffee. 

“Thank god you're here. See I need a break from this.” She said, taking a sip of her cold coffee with six creamers and 3 sugars. Tim was halfway done with his coffee while Tam looked at the coffee maker with irritation. “That stupid thing broke and Tim needs caffeine.” Danny tilted his head at it and put down the tray. He walked to the coffee maker and began taking it apart. He looked it over and found that a heating element of the coffee maker had burnt out. He quickly crafted a replacement part out of a paperclip and put it back together. He added coffee grounds and fresh water before plugging it in and pressing the ‘brew’ button. The smell of coffee brewing summoned Tim who looked at Danny like he was a god. 

“Tim.” Tam said gently. “This is Danny. Danny is going to be your assistant while I am on my break.” 

Tim glared at her. “Your break is for six months so you can have your baby.” Tim huffed and walked into his ‘office’. At least that is what the sign on the door stated. Through the crack in the door it looked more like a junk room. Filled to the brim with paper and binders. 

“Congrats?” Danny offered. 

Tam sighed and pulled out a seat, gesturing to him before taking a seat herself. 

“Thanks. As Tim stated, I am going to be on maternity break. This baby came as a bit of a surprise. Thankfully Wayne Enterprise is very accommodating, so are you taking the job?” Tam asked. A look of fear and hope on her face made Danny sigh. 

“Honestly, I was going to say no but my sister says that it is bad to put stress on a pregnant woman so I suppose that I should help take this off your plate.” Danny said. Tam smiled and pulled out a large red binder with Tim Wrangling on the front. 

“Great. This will go a lot smoother if you slide with the skid.” Tam said, a maniacal smile on her face made a cold feeling slide down Danny’s spine. 

“Your smile is scaring me.” Danny admitted. 

“It should. Tim is a great boss, but a terrible person.” Tam said, opening the binder. “Let’s get you started with this NDA and his sleep schedule.” 

Two weeks into the job, Danny was so glad that he took the job. Tim was easy to manage. The young man was in the habit of hyper focusing while running a big ass company. He was remarkably like his parents. All Danny needed to do was make sure to cut off the caffeine at around 2pm so that Tim started to get tired and would take a nap. In the first week, Danny redid Tim’s office to make it a bit more ‘managable’ adding a pull out couch and reorganizing his office to make it functional. Tim got on a routine and Danny was a formidable person so there were quite a few less ‘aggressive interviews’. He was quickly becoming a favorite in the company, he took phone calls and answered questions at all hours of the day and night and responded to emails. They were doing really well. Keeping on the schedule and making great headway. Right up until they had a deadline. 

Tim looked at his secretary with amazement. Danny had gone toe to toe with him for hours awake. The stupid leak of their newest Wayne Tech had made them stay up for 121 hours awake and Tim was more than ready to marry Danny. Danny had a 64oz tumbler with a weird greenish-brown mixture in it. The ghost ice cubes were cute. The tumbler has sparkles on it and numerous ghost stickers. Tim thought it was tea. When the final pieces of their production elements were done Tim stood up from his desk and stretched. Danny was face down at his desk. A few sticky notes plastered to his head and hair. 

“Danny!” Tim called, Danny shot up and looked around. His eyes looked red and he blinked at Tim. 

“Ysss Her.” Danny slurred. He reached down and grabbed his tumbler. Taking a deep sip off it. 

“You want some coffee?” Tim asked. Danny gave a slow nod. 

“Yah!” Danny cheered, standing up. 

Tim walked to his secretary and he stood up too. Bringing the tumbler with him. They rode the express elevator down to the ground floor and walked out of Wayne Enterprise. 

“So, Do you have a favorite coffee place?” Tim asked, looking at the young man who looked exhausted. 

“Let’s go to Crave. Marissa will put five more espresso shots in my Spooky Juice.” Danny said, lifting the tumbler before taking a deep sip. 

“What is in Spooky Juice ™ ?” Tim asked. 

“Ahh.” Danny lifted the tumbler to cuddle it. “A glorious mix of Redbull, Monster Energy and Cold Brew with a few Five hour energies tossed in for flavor.” Danny said. Tim tried to do a quick calculation of caffeine. 

“That is like 2400mg of caffeine. I saw you refill it six times!” Tim yelped. “How are you alive?” 

“Im alive right now?” Danny asked. Poking at his thigh and then slapped his cheek. “Yup. Alive.”

“Is this how Alfred feels?” Tim asked, mostly to himself. 

“Yep. It’s how we feel too, yah know.” Dick stated, appearing out of thin air. 

“Gah!” Tim jumped. Danny looked at Tim with concern, his eyes casting around. 

“Where the hell did you come from? Are you wearing a fake mustache?" Tim asked, looking at his older brother. 

Dick smirked at his little brother. “It’s called incognito. You should look it up. Helps when we’re spy- I mean checking up on a sibling.” Dick smiled at him. 

Tim frowned at Dick. “What do you mean we?”

Dick turned and looked. “I have no idea what you mean. Have you slept?” 

Tim scowled, looking harsher at the bushes. 

“Ok. Game’s over.” Tim called. Danny blinked at Tim and his hand began creeping towards his pocket. 

Jason stood up from the bushes, wearing a bush hat and some green face paint. 

“We were concerned.” Jason stated and he was looking at Danny. “Is he ok?” 

Tim crossed his arms and tapped his foot. 

Dick was too cheerful. 

“Who else is here?” Tim asked. Cass appeared, a spooky smile on her face. 

New baby brother. She signed. 

Damian appeared as well, wearing -

“Are you wearing a wig?” Tim asked. 

Damian shrugged, his sparkly silver wig twinkled in the light. Titus who was wearing a tiger onesie designed for dogs dutifully at his side. ‘Woof’.  “Richard said we were going to the dogpark to observe the puppy parade.” Damian stated. 

Tim turned to his secretary who seemed to be dissociating. 

“Danny, I am so sorry for my family.” 

Danny had literal tears in his eyes. “Oh thank the ancients, They’re real. I thought I was hallucinating from sleep exhaustion. I couldn't figure out why there were so many versions of you.” Danny said. He then took another sip from his tumbler and shook it. It was nearly empty. “Time for more Spooky Juice ™ .” Danny said. Pulling a can of Monster from one of his pockets and opening his tumbler, pouring it directly into the tumbler. 

“Is he ok?” Dick asked, pulling Tim to the side. 

“I think so.” Tim looked at his family. “I got plenty of sleep. Danny has me on a schedule. I got almost 8 hours every night for the past week before this. We were under the gun and needed to push our production.” Tim said, he turned to look for Danny but didn't find the young man. “Where did Danny go?” He asked. The other Bat’s looked around. 

“Uh.” Dick and Jason echoed. Damian scowled. 

“I believe that he has gone to the cafe.” Damian stated. 

Tim and co ran to the cafe. Danny was sitting at the counter. A variety of drinks in front of him. He was pouring a few into the tumbler and when Marco the barista handed him the final cup of 32oz coffee. Tim lunged forward to grab the coffee but Danny was quicker. He poured it into the tumbler and hissed at Tim. 

“Jesus. Am I this bad?” Tim asked. Dick and Damian nodded while Jason, brave foolish Jason tried to grab the tumbler away from Danny. Danny hissed at him and then bit the older man. Jason swore and released the tumbler. Danny began gulping the elixir. 

Dick looked at Tim. “What is in there?” Dick whispered. 

“Oh. That is Danny’s patented Spooky Juice ™. It has redbull, Monster, Five Hour energy and cold brew. It tastes disgusting and is more potent than cocaine.” Marco commented. He was looking at Danny with a mix of disgust and admiration. 

“Danny.” A woman with the name tag ‘Calypso’ offered him a cup of something winked at Danny. “Try this. It's a nitro cold brew with 16 shot’s espresso and a touch of -” Danny snatched the cup and downed it quickly. Tim glared at the barista. 

“Who is ready to-” Danny faceplanted mid sentence. The sickening crunch of his nose noted how hard he hit the table. 

“ of Pentobarbital.” Calypso finished. Looking pleased as punch. 

“You just drugged him.” Dick yelped. Jason was more practical, pressing two fingers to Danny’s jugular to check his pulse. 

“Yeah. Those are Danny’s drugs. He forgot his prescription here. They are for when he gets into his hyper fixation and insomnia phase.” Calypso said. She looked at Danny’s tumbler and shook her head. “Dude can drink that mix but toast and soup freaks him out.” She muttered. 

Tim sighed before weighing the options and picked up the tumbler. He took a tentative sip and for the first time of his life, spat out the coffee mixture. 

“That is vile!” Tim gagged and he got no sympathy from his siblings or the baristas. 

Jason picked up Danny and threw him over his shoulder. Danny weighed practically nothing. 

“He is going to be trouble huh.” Jason said. Cass picked up the tumbler, holding it like it was an explosive device. 

Tim ordered a cup of cold decaf coffee while he got Dick a cup of hot chocolate. They followed Jason as he met up with Damian and they went to the park for the puppy parade. Jason dumped Danny onto a bench before taking a seat. 

“I kinda want him to meet Alfred.” Tim said to Dick. 

“You kinda want him to be in your bed.” Jason shot back. 

‘New baby brother!” Cass signed, taking a seat next to Danny. Listening to him breath. 

“Shut up!” Tim barked. A few puppies tumbled closer. 

Tim smiled at his secretary. Maybe Bruce would be getting a new son.A son in law.

Chapter Text

AN: Warning there is talk of vomit/puking. It is not descriptive but it is there, mostly to push the plot/humor. 

Danny got used to working for Tim. He was paid very well, so well that he was able to get a new apartment. He now rocked a 3bed, 2.5 bath with a small balcony. He could even afford to have a washer/dryer. His living room had a large L-shaped couch and a papa-san chair with a fluffy pillow. All astrology themed, he even got to get some really pretty pictures of the star systems.

Danny was able to move from his small studio apartment in one day. He now had a bedroom, an office and a spare bedroom. It was a dream come true for him. He was able to keep his kitchen stocked with all sorts of caffeine products. He filled his pantry (yes he had a pantry) with cases of energy drinks and dry food. 

Danny was dead (hah) asleep when he heard something moving in his kitchen. He sat up and crept out to the hallway. Grabbing his Fenton-Creep Stick and stalking forward. Danny used the walls to hide from the potential invaders. He edged around a corner, then swore. 

“Fucking Ancient's. What are you doing here?” Danny demanded, his boss Tim was sitting on his counter. Jason was looking in his fridge, it was full of nutrients. Stop looking at him like that. Cass was looking at the art on his walls. Dick was looking in his pantry and Damian was outside on his balcony. Danny sighed, wishing that he had gotten more sleep. 

“Oh Hi Danny.” Dick said, in his hands a box of cereal that Danny got when he first moved to Gotham. 

“I wouldn't eat that.” Danny said, remembering the cruel trick that had been attempted to be played on him. Dick scoffed and shook out a bowl full of cereal. He added milk and smirked at Danny. Danny took a step backwards and waited. 

Dick took a mouthful of cereal and his eyes widened before he turned, running to Danny’s balcony and puking over the side. Every single one of Tim’s siblings looked at Dick, Jason’s hand jerked to his side like he was used to being able to grab something. 

“THOSE ARE EVIL!” Dick yeeted the bowl, the milk now looked congealed and lumpy. 

“Yeah.” Danny said, he walked to the fridge and pulled out a go-gurt. He sucked out the strawberry sweet goo. “So, why are you here?” Danny asked. 

“Alfred put a caffeine ban on the Manor so we needed some.” Jason offered, still looking for something in Danny’s many empty cupboards. 

“And your here because?” Danny asked again. 

“We knew you would have caffeine.” Dick said, gagged again over the railing. “Why do you have those?” 

Danny shrugged. “One of my class mates gave it to me. I have something they called grave mouth. I heard that they made the cereal, it has a lot of malic acid.” Dick gagged again. 

Jason grabbed some cereal and a bowl. Danny was glad that Dick didn't yeet his nice bowl. Those were hidden. 

Jason poured some milk over the cereal and took a bite. Only to immediately spit it back into the bowl. 

“Eww! NO!” Danny yelled, gagging sympathetically. “Just yeet it!” Danny felt like crying. He hated vomit, gagging or the stupid hairball noise that cats made. Jason dumped the bowl into the trash. Danny felt his stomach rumble, he didn't like the feeling. So he made himself some cereal. Pouring out a bowl which had made the other’s upchuck. He added water from a pitcher jug from his fridge. Ignoring the whispers (‘War crime’-Jason, ‘Abomination’-Dick, 'Why did you even try them, did you look at the ingredient list?’-Damian and a quiet “why?”from Cass). Danny used his spoon to mix the cereal into the water and then began eating. He yawned and looked at his bowl. The neon pink and green floating bits were not the usual color. Danny looked around before he saw the problem. 

“Aww. I can't believe she did that.” Danny moaned, walking to his pantry and grabbed the needed ingredients for Spooky Juice ™. 

“Who did what?” Jason asked, Danny turned to look at him. Only to be confused. It looked like Dick and Jason were eating paper towels. 

“I think my sister was here.” Danny muttered, pulling out his cold brewer from under the counter. Pouring in the grounds from the new coffee brand he found online, Black Insomnia extra strength coffee. He liked strong coffee. He poured in his 12 cups of water to his 4 cups of coffee grounds. He pressed the ‘brew’ button. It would take around twenty minutes, so he sipped on a Monster. 

“What?” Dick asked but he was trying to keep control of Tim who had seen the pantry. Floor to ceiling stacks of Monster, Redbull, 5HR Energy, Dark chocolate and energy teas. Organized and Tim wanted to lock himself inside. 

“My sister stops by sometimes. She replaced my Spooky Juice ™ for plain water.” Danny grumbled, pouring out the water. He went to his fridge and pulled out several cans of energy drink. 

“Hold him!” Dick grunted, tossing Tim to Jason who groaned at the floundering boy. 

Danny watched on in mild interest. He cracked another Monster, catching Tim’s attention. He poured it directly into his ‘tumbler’. 

“So, you wanted caffeine?” Danny asked. He felt like he should be swirling a glass of brandy, sitting in a chair. With a cat, ugh but then he would be like Vlad. No cat, but he might be willing to have a man. A man who likes caffeine. Danny shook his head. ‘Naughty Danny, go back in the box with our trama.’ He thought to himself. 

He went to grab the coffee but a body appeared in his space. Cass was glaring at him. 

“No.” She said, she stood in front of the cold brewer. Danny whined, he wanted to get his coffee. 

He took a step in, Cass stayed. He tried to gently move her, pushing up against her with his shoulder. She stood firm, glaring at him. He took a step back and ducked his head. 

“Ok.” Danny grumbled. He would get his caffeine a different way. He moved his whole operation closer to the fridge and away from Cass who now sat on his counter. He cracked open two C-4's, a green apple and a blue raspberry, taking a sip from each and licked his lips before pouring them directly into the tumbler. He swirled the mixture, it would be better with cold brew but Cass was guarding the cold brew. 

Danny took a sip of his new mixture. It was a lot fruity but sweet and tasty. Danny felt the thrum of energy and gave a happy shiver. 

“LET ME IN THERE!” Tim yelled, struggling against Jason. Danny blinked a bit, this was his boss. Cass poured herself a cup of cold brew, taking a single sip and gagging. She glared at Danny who dropped his gaze. He didn't want to get on her bad side. Ghosts are like cat, by Cass staring at him with direct eye contact unblinking she was offering a challenge. Danny avoiding eye contact spoke to his want to avoid the conflict. 

Cass was watching Tim’s newest infatuation. She looked him over, He was tall and skinny. A little sickly looking. He had shoulder length hair, which was fluffed around his head. When she had seen him in the streets, it had been tied back then. Here he had adorable bedhead, she forgot that she was supposed to blink. She blinked, Danny had dropped his eyes. She frowned, squinting her eyes to reduce the glare of the overhead lights. Danny twitched, pulling his body away from her. His body language was defensive and non-confrontational. 

“Cass, stop dead eyeing Danny.” Jason called, still struggling to handle the angry cat-octopus that is Tim when he wants caffeine. 

Cass looked at Dick who grinned at her. 

Danny rummaged around his cupboard to grab a few tumblers. He poured two inches of cold brew before adding sugar and some milk/creamer then all the ice. He began passing them to the Siblings of Tim. Passing Cass the first to keep the peace. She blinked slowly at him which he returned. 

“Holy crap Tim-bit, your secretary is a cat.” Jason said. 

Damian looked closely at Danny. Nodding as if this was a hard fact. 

“I agree. Fenton appears very feline.” Damian said, he paused. “We must not let Selina kidnap this one.” 

Danny looked at all of them, their head’s nodding cemented it. Danny backed away, reaching into a drawer and pulling out a small belt buckle. Clipping it onto his belt and pressing a button. A small whine was heard, Dick felt concerned and reached out to touch Danny. Danny was going to warn him but was too late. Dick was thrown across the room, his hair slightly smoking. 

“What is that?” Jason asked, he let go of Tim to drink the coffee that Danny had given him. 

“I am not getting kidnapped.” Danny said, he jumped up to sit on his counter. Jason got closer, holding out a hand. He could feel the thrum of the electricity. 

“Are you getting shocked?” Jason asked. Danny shook his head. 

“Nope, it is a purely defensive measure. Anyone who is not connected to the current will receive a fraction of the power currently residing in the device.” Danny sipped his drink. 

“Weaponized electricity.” Tim said, calming down after a few (Chugs) sips of his coffee. He looked at Dick who was slightly steaming still, possibly unconscious. 

“Does it have any other properties?” Jason asked. He wanted to see how much it hurt. It was a physical taser. How interesting. 

“I guess.” Danny offered. “If you have a phone that has one of those tap chargers it can keep your phone charged.” Holding up his ancient flip phone, it had a full battery. 

Tim was plotting. 

“Danny, did you make this?” Tim asked. Hovering close to Danny. 

“Yeah. I applied to work for Wayne Industries but they hired a kid from the Narrows. Mr Fox said I could reapply in a year or two if I wanted a paying position.” Danny shrugged. 

The Siblings all looked at each other (not Dick, he was drooling on Danny’s carpet) a silent conversation.

Danny went to Dick, deactivating his anti-kidnapping device. He gently picked up the large man and carried him to his couch. Placing Dick on the couch and pulling a blanket over the unconscious man. Danny ignored the looks. He yawned again and looked around his apartment. He yawned again and sat in his papa-san chair, curling up like a cat. He was going to take a little nap. 

Tim was shocked, Danny had fallen asleep with people in his house. Cass was perched next to Dick on the couch. He was recovering, said he could still taste pennies, which was not so great. 

“He is really asleep.” Jason muttered, He walked closer to the young secretary. Poking him gently. Danny let out a puff of air and rolled over. Nearly falling off the round chair. 

Tim began exploring, looking over Danny’s experiments. There were hand drawn blue prints and step by step instructions on how to build each and every item. 

“He might be a genius.” Tim whispered, he looked at a small fish tank. An air-rator  was puttering away, a school of fish swam around. It was silent, no noise was coming from the device. Tim was only sure that it was running by the bubbles that were being ejected from the small ghost shaped bubbler. 

Jason looked in on his office, it was organized and clean. A few things were dusty, like his bookcase. Tim turned on the laptop that was in the corner of the desk and gasped. 

“He has a picture of us.” Tim said. Jason looked at the photo. It was a candid shot of all the Batkid's hanging at an ice-cream parlor. The photo was from a phone camera, a little unfocused and blurry but it was sweet. Jason remembered it, Danny had dropped off Tim when they finished their work for the day. Dick had been raving about a new flavor of Ice Cream at the Smooth Move Creamery. Danny had paused for a moment, winked and then walked away. 

“Does Danny have an iris camara?” Jason asked. 

Tim snorted. “Those are Sc-Fi, it would be extremely delicate work to even attempt to…” Tim pulled out a blue print of an iris camera. “Holy shit. I am totally hiring him in our R and D department.” Tim began searching for more of Danny’s blueprints. While Jason took a different route. He looked around, opening cabinets, ‘Gotta teach this sweet boy about locks.’ Jason thought to himself. 

Jason was rifling through a cabinet and found something that made him smirk. He dialed Bruce, because making his blood pressure rise was just good fun. 

“Bruce, Did you know that Danny. You know Danny, Tim secretary, yeah that one. He has several job offers from Oliver Queen and Lex Luthor.” Jason waited, Tim whirled around. 

“THE FUCK?!” Tim smacked Jason hard with his hand, making Jason chuckle. “Danny is not going to work for those fuckers. How much are they offering?” Tim demanded. 

Damian peeked his head into the office. The two idiots were fighting and smacking one another. 

“If you keep this up. You will wake Danny.” He said warningly. 

Tim could feel Jason smirking at him. 

“Shut up.” Tim grumbled, he exited. He had taken photos of Danny’s blueprints to convince Bruce and Lucius Fox that they might need to hire a new R&D member. They went to Danny’s living room and looked around. He really loved space. 

“Can I give him some planetarium tickets as a reward?” Tim asked softly. 

Cass heard something scratching. She looked towards the noise and the front door knob was moving. She smiled and stepped into the darker part of the kitchen. 

The front door swung open quietly and a tall red head woman walked in. She frowned at the sight of the caffeine monstrosity sitting on the counter. 

“Ancient's Danny. What is this a freaking experiment again?” The red head asked, she took the tumbler, looked at the swirling concoction and cracked the seal. 

“PUT it DOWN!” Danny called, lurching up from his curled position. Every Batkid turned to look at the woman who now just looked at Danny with an expression of disappointment. 

“How many milligrams of caffeine is in this?” the woman asked, Danny shrugged. 

“A few. Why are you here Jazz. Last I checked your supposed to be in Connecticut. At YALE.” Danny said, stretching and sounding like he was made of pop-rocks. 

“I am on break. I told my teachers how I have an unreliable younger sibling who thinks that consuming caffeine counts as a meal. I now have proof.” Jazz pulled out a phone and took a picture of the tumbler. Danny scoffed. 

“If you really want to sell it, take a picture of my pantry.” Danny walked to her and gave her a gently head butt to her shoulder. Jazz ruffled his hair in responce before walking to the pantry. She opened the door and whipped to glare at Danny. 

“Where is your FOOD?!” She asked, Danny pointed at the fridge first and then to the cabinet where the disgusting cereal spawned from. 

“I have food.” Danny said. He turned and looked at the kids, who Jazz had just realized were there. 

“You really don't.” Jason said. “I saw two eggs and a pack of cheese sticks.” 

Danny nodded, proud that he had sustenance. “I have crackers and ramen too.” He smiled. 

Jazz felt like a parent all over again. She put her head in her hands and took a few deep breaths. 

“Danny. When is the last time you have a vegetable?” She asked. 

Danny hissed and lunged, snatching the tumbler out of her hands and sipping on it victorious. 

“I ate some beans just this morning.” He said before walking back to his chair. 

“Coffee doesn't count as a vegetable.” Jazz argued. 

Jason began filming. He couldn't wait to show this to Alfred. It turns out there was a worst offender of the Caffeine Consumption Brigade. 

“How about fruit?” Jazz asked, tapping on her phone. 

“Again this morning.” Danny said, taking another sip from his tumbler. 

Jazz looked up from her phone, “Was it a flavoring in an energy drink?” She asked. 

“I plead the fifth.” Danny muttered. 

“I can’t believe you.” She said, walking to Danny. She reached out and pushed on Danny’s belly. Her hand kept going. Till it was flush with his hip. “You are starving yourself.” She said. 

“I am not starving myself. I am just not very hungry. I ate fruit, I will work on vegetables.” Danny said placatingly. 

“What type of fruit?” Jazz asked, crossing her arms. Delivering an Alfred worthy ‘Eyebrow of Doom’, though it was less impressive because it wasn't as fuzzy an eyebrow. 

“Strawberries.” Danny said, 

“You ate a go-gurt. According to Alfred, there is no real fruit in those.” Jason snitched. 

“HEY!” Danny whirled, jutting out a finger at him. “Snitches don't get caffeine.” 

“I thought it was supposed to be ‘Snitches get ditches’.” Dick said sitting up on the couch. He looked destroyed. His eyes locked on Jazz and he shifted to lay like a renaissance french girl. “Hello. My name is Dick.” 

Jazz looked at Danny. “Is he serious?” Jazz asked. 

“Yep. It is short for Richard. I think Rich would be a better nickname but he has a familial attachment.” Danny reported. He took a few more sips of his zoom-zoom juice. He felt his heart rate speed up, it was almost back to when he was fully alive. He loved this feeling. His heart rate was on average 30 beats per minute. 

“Danny.” Jazz reached out, touching his face with both hands. “I love you. You need to cut down on the caffeine. You need to get back on your sleep schedule. No more all nighter’s. Tell your boss that he can fuck off if he tries that again.” Jazz stroked Danny’s cheek with her forefinger. 

Jason stifled his laughter, swearing that he could feel a rib or two crack. 

Jazz looked into Danny’s eyes for a few more seconds before releasing him. She went back to her phone.

“I am buying you food. I’m going to fill your freezer with microwave meals and frozen veggies. Please let me know if you need me to prepare meals for you. I can take the train up every weekend and help you with that.” Jazz said. 

“Or.” Jason interrupted. “We could bring him to our house. Our Grandfather would love to have someone like Danny to feed.” 

Jazz looked at Danny who was now back in the chair sipping on more of his coffee. “Do you think that he can get Danny to stop drinking so much caffeine?” Jazz asked. 

“Oh yeah. We came here because he put a ban on caffeine till Tim took a solid 8 hour nap.” Dick said. Wiggling his eyebrows at Jazz. 

Jazz looked at Danny. “Do you still have the body taser?” Jazz asked. 

Danny nodded, unclipping it from his belt and tossing it at her. She caught it. 

“I needed this on the train ride up. I wanted to take a nap but this creeper kept trying to snuggle up to me.” She grumbled. Danny’s attention snapped up to her. Jazz held up a hand, “NO!” She snapped. 

Danny let out a low whine and stood up. Walking slowly to her. Jazz shook her head. “No. I will not let you come with me back. I am a strong independent woman who does not need to be protected.” Danny walked past her into his office, returning with a bracelet. 

He handed it to her. She looked it over. “What does it do?” She asked. 

“It’s a nano tech device that allows you to jab the person who is bothering you. It sends an alert to the police with a live tracking device for the man. It will be online for up to 3 years.” Danny said. Jason edged closer. 

“Can I have 12 of those?” Jason asked. Danny looked at him. 

“Why?” Danny asked. 

“Just cuz.” Jason said. 

Jazz smiled. 

“I’ll trade you. You take care of Danny and I will get him to make you 20 of the bracelets.” Jazz offered. 

Danny whirled on her. “Traitor.” Danny whispered. 

Jason smiled. “When does the care taking start?” he asked. 

“Today for the next two weeks.” Jazz said. “Danny has a bad habit of following the little white rabbit in his head into new fixations. My hope is that with your help he can gain around 10lbs.” 

Danny saw the danger. He ran to his pantry. Jazz lunged to stop him but he was a slippery little fucker. He slammed the door shut and locked it. 

“DANIEL JAMESON FENTON!” Jazz howled, slamming her fist into the door. “OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!” 

“What’s the password?” Danny called back. 

“OPEN THIS DOOR!” Jazz snarled

“Nope.” 

“Open this door Right Now”

“Not even close.”

“DANIEL. I AM WARNING YOU.” Jazz growled. Cass slipped away to the balcony. She noticed something strange when she first arrived at the apartments. Danny’s “pantry” seemed to be on the backside of the garbage shoot. Cass looked down and began scanning. She saw Danny, running down the street. His tumbler held high in his hands. 

“Gone.” She said simply before vaulting after him. 

“REALLY?!” Jazz’s scream could be heard all the way in Bristol. 

Bruce sneezed, he had a strange feeling deep in his gut. He jumped at the sound of a clang. 

“Apologies Master Bruce.” Alfred offered, he had a dropped fork in his hand. “It appears we are going to have a visitor.” 

Bruce fluffed his newspaper. “You don't really believe that do you?” Bruce asked. 

Alfred just smiled cryptically at Bruce, walking back to the kitchen. 

“Alfred?” Bruce called. “ Do you-” His phone beeped with a text. From Jason in the family group chat. 

Family Group Chat: 

Jaylad: Bringing home a kid. Play nice. No Adopt. IT’s Timmy’s ass-sistant. 

Timmy-in-the-Well: He is my secretary. This is a bad idea. 

Bad-Ass-Cass: New Brother in law. 

Discowning: WHAT?!

Blud-Son: A challeng was issues. Now we just need to catch him. 

Glitter-Sparkle: WTF is going on?

Jaylad: Cass don't let him escape. Capture the Caffeine Gremlin. 

A new text alert appeared on Bruce’s phone. 

Caffeine-Gremlin: You will never catch me alive.

Bruce looked up at Alfred. “What is going on?” 

Alfred sighed, “The fork foretold this would happen.” 

Bruce sighed, wondering if it was too late to go see Clark in space. 

“Fork’s?” Bruce asked. 

Alfred nodded sagely. “Indeed Master Bruce. A young man will arrive at the manor. A friend I believe.” 

Bruce shook his head. He went back to his phone. What were his children doing and what is a Caffeine Gremlin?

Chapter Text

Danny was running. Not in a cute flirty way. He was running like he was getting chased by jackals. Hungry jackals that had guns and nets. That liked to eat Danny meat. 

“GET BACK HERE!” Jazz was chasing him. Danny didn't look around, it was a mistake. He instead took a few sips of his Spook Juice ™ and let the energy flow through him. He pumped his legs and when a few Gothamites saw him, they instinctively started running in his direction. Danny took the opportunity to duck into an alley and scurry up the side of the building like a spider. Gripping his tumbler in his mouth by the handle. He let out a cheerful chirp when he got to the top and started running across the buildings. 

He took a breath, and a few sips, looking around to see what was up. Was he still being chased? What was going on? 

“Is it just me, or is it crazy out there?” A voice asked, Danny turned and came face to face with a man wearing-.

“Are you in drag?” Danny asked, he knew a few blending techniques and maybe a lighter shade and it might work. Sam had taught him how to wear make up. 

“What?!” The green haired man glared at him. “I am The Joker.” Danny lizard blinked at him. 

“Madam, I apologize but your make up needs work.” Danny said before taking another sip of his Spooky Juice ™. 

The Joker just looked at Danny. “Do you not know who I am?” They asked. 

Danny shrugged. “Nope. I moved here a little while ago.” Danny yawned and rubbed at his eyes. He was getting tired. 

“Well, let me introduce myself.” The Joker smiled, a really creepy smile if Danny was being honest. Joker then lunged, pushing Danny off the top of the building. 

Danny fell, an unfortunate Barbara Gordon watched as the young man who had been wrangling Tim fell off a five story building. 

The whole Bat-Clan was in the loop. Cass arrived too late to help. She skidded to a stop, her hand going to her mouth. She watched his body fall, waiting for the sound of the crunch. She heard the crash of glass or plastic. She pressed the panic button three times, civilian death. 

“YOU FUCKING ASS-TWATTING-BASTARD!” The roar from Danny almost made Cass fall from her perch. Her ear piece came to life. 

“What?” Jason asked, slightly out of breath. “Did he just say?” 

Cass shook her head. 

“You BROKE MY FAVORITE TUMBLER. I HAD TO FIGHT A PRE-TEEN FOR THAT TUMBLER. I WOULD CHALLENGE YOU TO A BATTLE OF WIT, BUT IT APPEARS YOU’RE UNARMED!” Danny yelled. 

Cass heard Jason and possibly Dick slam into something. She looked at Danny who was looking more like an angry racoon from his spot in the dumpster. 

“I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE!” Joker screamed back. Cass pulled out her phone, this could either be really funny (put on Gothtube) or really bad (show in court). 

Danny hissed at Joker. Joker pulled out his own phone, a stupid oversized phone to call his henchmen. “Your going to die Fucker!” Joker screamed at Danny. 

Danny ducked into the dumpster, rooting around before popping back up holding something. 

“What are you-” Joker was cut off by a sickening thwack as Danny yeeted something gross at Joker. Danny chuffed and jumped out of the dumpster. Joker let out the unmanliest scream to date as the thing that Danny threw began wiggling. 

“WHO THE FUCK THROWS A COCKROACH-BALL AT PEOPLE?!” Joker screeched. Shaking the bugs off of him. “YOUR DEAD ADOPTION BAIT!” 

Danny stopped to glare at Joker, his eyes seemed to glow with a deadly green fire. Danny straightened his spine and pointed a finger at Joker. 

“You will get bad coffee for a week.” Danny said ominously. 

Joker scoffed, “I don't drink that Trash.” 

Tim had to be restrained by Dick and Damian. 

“Let it go Timbit.” Jason whispered. He was watching the ordeal with great interest. 

Joker was unprepared for the sheer gremlin energy that came crashing down on him from Danny who bless his heart had no freaking idea of who he was. 

Danny went back to the dumpster and began throwing everything that he could pick up at Joker. 

It caught the Gothamite’s attention. The live stream from @Bat-arina who was a very popular streamer on Gothtube had been broadcasting the whole ordeal. Gothamites saw a Wayne Adoption Bait sparring with Joker. The WAB was throwing things at Joker who was perched at the top of the building, like a freakish gargoyle who bitched when he got struck by a can of soup. 

“HEY!” Joker yelled, trying to dodge a rotten chunk of something. “STOP THROWING THINGS!” 

WAB, rooting around in the dumpster. “YOU INSULTED COFFEE.” Hucking an apple core at the well known clown. 

Joker opened his mouth to retort but Danny was really good at aiming. He managed to throw a large spider right in Joker’s gob. 

The resulting reaction was Joker screaming and falling off the same roof that he pushed Danny from. He however did not end up in the right dumpster. 

Joker fell into the dumpster that had the throw aways from the grocery store. Many expired things were in that dumpster. WAB got out of his own, which was a mostly clean dumpster. Joker groaned, he could feel his bones. Not a good feeling. 

WAB peeked in on Joker, before the viewers could see him jump up and rummage around in Joker’s dumpster before leaning back and in his hands, there was a-.

“Did WAB just mug Joker?” A citizen typed in the chat. 

“Yep” was the resounding reply from most of the people watching. WAB held the wallet over his head and marched out of the alley.

Chapter Text

 She couldn't believe that she had evidence that Danny stole from the Joker. Making sure her camera was still rolling, she pointed it back down at the alley. She grinned as Danny looked from left to right before exiting the alley. A little smirk on his face. Too bad he didn't see the ginger greyhound racing down a sidestreet. Jazz tackled her brother and pulled a face. 

“Danny!” Jazz growled, holding him up by the back of his shirt (it was really his scruff, side effect of ghostlyness). Danny curled his feet and pouted up at her. 

“He broke my cup.” Danny whined. 

Jazz frowned at her little gremlin brother. “What?”

Danny blinked up at her. “What?” He asked back. 

“Who broke your cup?” Jazz asked, there was a clattering of cans and the sound of bags flopping on the ground. Joker came limping out of the alley, pulling a gun from his pocket. 

“Your dead.” Joker snarled. Jazz stiffened, He could kill them (her. Danny was half dead)

Danny looked at Joker. 

“Look its Justin.” Danny said, waving with both hands. One holding the Joker’s wallet. 

“I AM THE JOKER!” Joker screamed. “YOU STOLE MY WALLET!” Joker jutted a finger at Danny who frowned. 

“I don't think so.” Danny said, bobbing his head. “I liberated Felicity from you.” 

Joker looked at Jazz. “Are you his caretaker? You know I found him on a roof right?” 

Jazz popped a hip and dropped Danny. Who let out a oof when he hit the ground. Jazz placed a foot on Danny’s shirt so he couldn't scuttle away. 

“How exactly did he end up on the ground then?” Jazz asked crossing her arms. Danny tried to subtly pull his shirt out from under Jazz’s foot. 

“I pushed him.” Jazz nodded, “Fucker fell into the dumpster.” Joker chuckled. 

Jason and Dick finally caught up, Dick gasping and holding onto a wall to catch his breath. Jason glowered at Joker. 

“Here.” Jazz said, lifting her foot that held Danny in place. Danny scuttled away, Jason tried to catch him but Danny dodged. Dick watched Jazz take a breath. 

“So, you pushed my baby brother off the roof into the FUCKING DUMPSTER?!” Jazz thundered, She launched herself at Joker and began beating the ever-loving fuck out of the man-clown. She used every element of the black-belt training that their Mom had trained into her. 

Cass knew this would be her biggest hit yet. Jazz would be internet famous. She round-house kicked Joker back down the alley and then upppercut him. Flipping the clown back into the dumpster. Jazz slammed the lid shut over him and leaned down, picking up a cinderblock and placing it over the lid. 

“Trash like you belongs in the dumpster. Be glad that I ran out of time, I have a bus to catch.” Jazz grumbled. She walked to Dick and sighed. “Are you out of breath?” She asked. 

Dick felt afraid to answer. “A little.” He muttered. 

Jazz sighed and leaned down to fireman carry him. Lifing him onto her shoulder and started walking. “Keep an eye out for Danny. The gremlin is slippery as fuck and will seek caffine like a heroin addict.” 

Dick felt slighty emasculated as he was carried down the street. He looked around and to his great embarrassment found that Cass, sweet baby Cass was filming the whole ordeal. 

Jason decided that he would never again volunteer to catch Danny.Jason sat on a large plastic box. He smoked a cigarette as he waited for the merry band of misfits. Danny would be trouble. The little shit is slippery as a fish and acts like a freaking cat. Jason waited for the other Bat’s to show up. Instead, Jazz came walking up, carrying Dick. 

“Where is Danny?” Jazz asked. Jason gestured to the box that he was sitting on. 

“Under here.” He grumbled, his face marred with scratch marks and a bruise. 

“Uh huh.” Jazz said unimpressed. “Are you sure?” 

Jason looked at her and then got up, slowly opened the box. Inside was a Danny shaped stuffy with a ‘better luck next time’ notecard. 

“SERIOUSLY?!” Jason roared. Jazz sighed and passed Dick off to Jason. Jason took him instinctively but looked at his brother who was smiling a bit too brightly. “You can walk.” he grumbled before dropping Dick. 

Jazz looked around, trying to find her baby brother. 

Cass appeared. A leash in her hand. “Found.” She said. 

“Isn’t that Ace’s leash?” Dick asked, 

Cass nodded looking proud of herself. 

Jazz smiled. “How did you get him?” 

Cass signed [Chocolate+Coffee+Bean] 

Jazz shook her head and sighed. “Chocolate covered Expresso beans. I should have known.” 

“What?” Jason asked, he looked at Dick hoping he knew what the fuck was going on. 

Cass pulled a small mint tin and shook it. Danny shot over. Holding out a hand, and smiling at Cass. “Pwease.” He said. Cass shook out one bean into Danny’s hand. 

“It took me six months to figure that out.” Jazz said smiling. Cass nodded. Jazz walked to Cass and offered a fist bump. Cass bumped her and handed her the leash. Jazz yanked Danny who gagged and tripped into her arms. She threw him over her shoulder and looked at the Waynes. 

“Danny is like a cat. Sometimes you gotta pick him up and carry to his new spot.”Jazz said as if that explained everything. 

“I am so confused.” Dick whispered. 

“Alfred is going to have a ball.” Jason whispered. Danny was skinny and didn't eat. 

“Scared.” Cass whispered. 

Jason called for a car. Steph smirked as she pulled up in a ‘kidnapper’ van. A  white panel traveler van. Jazz whistled at the speedy arrival. She threw Danny into the back and looked at the van. 

“Is there a cage in there?” She asked. Steph paused, turning to look at the red head. 

“I transport dogs.” Steph said. 

“Cool.” Jazz shoved Danny into the cage. He grumbled till he was handed the tin of coffee chocolate beans by Cass. 

“You know your brother is like a person right?” Dick asked. Jazz sighed. 

“Danny, do you mind?” Jazz called, getting situated in the back seat. 

‘Crunch-”Nope!” -Crunch- Danny sounded like he was chewing on gravel.

Steph leaned in close to Jason, “Are we sure that Danny is a good person for Tim to hang out with?” 

Jason looked backwards at Dick and Jazz and further back at Danny who looked a little crazed. 

“No.” He admitted. “But it’s going to be fucking funny to watch.” 

Steph cackled and sped off towards the Manor. It would be fucking funny. 

Danny pouted as Jazz began laying out all the expectations. Danny was to stay at the manor or with Tim at all times. No returning to his apartment for two weeks. “An experiment to see if he could be better taken care of.” were the words she used. She packed a bag for Danny and he had been here for a few days. He stretched before squinting at his laptop screen. Danny walked to the living room.
“Hey Tim, have you seen my contact compact?

Tim blinked and looked up at Danny. “You wear contacts?

Danny nodded, looking around for where he might have left them. “Yeah, I like them better than my glasses.” Danny reached into his pocket (Stomach) and pulled out a glasses case. “Keeps me from having to wear them.” 

Tim stared at Danny, he was hot. But with glasses he would be hotter. “Oh. holy mother of Gotham.” Tim would really like to see Danny wearing glasses. 

Danny groaned, guess he had to get another freaking set of contacts. “Guess I should wear them, Don't want to be blind when I’m doing paperwork.” He cracked the glasses case.

“Danny! Don't!” Tim yelped. This should be a sight that is preserved forever. 

“Why?” Danny looked at the case, expecting a scratch or maybe a bug. 

Steph popped up from behind the couch. “DO IT!” She yelled, making Danny jump. Tim scowled at her. This was her doing. “Damn it Tim. Do you know how hard it was to steal that man’s contacts?”

Danny was very confused. “What is happening?” 

Tim just shook his head at the chaos creator. “Steph, do you know what almost happened? Are you trying to kill us?”

Steph pouted. “He has sexy glasses, Timmy. I wanna see him in his sexy little glasses.” Steph whispered conspiratorily. 

Danny leaned into Tim’s space, not noticing the way that Tim started to pink up. “But they’re prescription glasses.” Danny whispered. 

Tim looked at Steph, steepling his fingers while he looked at Steph. “Stephanie, there are some things that mortal eyes are just not meant to see.” 

Steph narrowed her eyes at Tim before swinging her attention to Danny. “Put them on Danny.” She then lunged at Tim, restraining him by wrapping her arms and legs around Tim. “Ill hold him. Do it quickly.” 

Danny was very confused and concerned. 

“Danny, You don't understand the powers that will be unleashed!” Tim struggled to escape Steph’s grapple. She was like a freaking python. “Don’t do it!” 

“Surrender to the slutty glasses, Show us your sexy side!” Steph crowed, She yipped as Tim tried to elbow her ribs. 

Danny looked around for an adult. “I don't know what is going on anymore.” He said, hoping that Alfred might show up. He made nice sandwiches. 

Steph decided to unleash her weapon. “Danny, Can you put them on. Pretty please.” She pouted and looked at him with a puppy-like  expression. 

Tim called out at the same time, “Danny don’t do it! DO NOT- damn it” 

Danny, the eternal people pleaser and sucker for puppy eyes snapped open the case and fished out his glasses. He put them on his nose and blinked. He looked up, he could see Tim and Steph a little clearer. 

Tim and Steph had the same expression and then made a noise “Awwww.” 

Danny looked around. He was expecting something to go wrong. “You guys ok? What is wrong?” 

“It’s perfect.” Steph whispered, clutching Tim tightly. “It must be preserved.” 

Tim was staring hard at Danny. “My precious.” Tim whispered. His heart rate going a million miles an hour. 

Danny felt something, his face was getting hot and he didn't know what was going on but he could feel Steph and Tim’s intensive observation. 

“OK. It’s over. Stop looking at me.” Danny covered his face. “I don't understand. STOP!” Danny cried. 

Kon, (didn't realize that Tim had guests) walked in from the yard. “Hey guys! Clark ask-” He stopped. Dead stopped looking at Danny, who had foolishly peeked out from his hands. Kon managed to walk forward again, He stopped next to Steph and Tim. 

“Awww.” Kon whispered. “It’s so cute.” 

Danny grabbed a pillow and pushed his face into it. “NO!” Danny groaned. “Don’t look!” 

Kon leaned in close to whisper to Steph and Tim. “His face, it’s so cute. I wanna bite it.” 

Tim and Steph let out a laugh as Danny was embarrassed and he tried to slip his glasses off. Steph was already planning on how to superglue them to his face. 

Danny was saved by Cass who dropped the stolen contact case on Danny’s lap. 

He leaned in and kissed Cass on the cheek and ran to his bedroom, deciding that he would never again wear his fucking glasses. 

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