Archive of Our Own ^beta

A lovely memorial service, everyone had said. Such a tragedy to lose such a great man too soon. Deputy Chief Yagami’s funeral had just come to a close. Rain soaked the ground from the night before. The Buddhist priest had finished performing the last rights, and Yagami Sr.’s many acquaintances from the police department had slowly finished paying their respects and scattered, leaving behind only his closest collaborators in the special task force – Matsuda, Ide, Aizawa, and Mogi – Yagami’s wife and children – Sachiko, Sayu, Light, and Light’s fiancée Misa – and a very few personal friends, scattered all around the cemetery, lost in their own thoughts.

Light stood off to the side in a perfectly tailored gray suit, brilliantly playing the role of the dutiful son in mourning.

Playing a role? At this point, Light wasn’t even sure what was real and what wasn’t. He’d spent so much time misdirecting, deceiving, making backup plans and then backup plans to his backup plans, that he was almost constantly looking over his shoulder, expecting someone to come for Kira’s crown. He didn’t regret taking on the Death Note and becoming Kira, not one bit. It was all to make the world a better place! And naturally a few sacrifices had to be made. But his father, of all people …

Light hadn’t meant for his father to get shot. He really hadn’t. He’d tried to push off the Death Note and the Eyes onto Matsuda, who was amusing enough on a personal level, but an acceptable casualty for Kira’s new world. And even when Deputy Chief Yagami, the utterly fearless man that he was, opted to take the Eye Deal himself, well, half of a lifetime was still plenty of time. If he’d just been a little less noble … if he’d just been willing to kill Mello … none of this would have happened. It was his choice he’d made freely. Light knew full well he wasn’t at fault for his father’s poor decision in the moment. But he didn’t think his father a fool for it either, not exactly. It was just…

If a man like Light’s father, someone completely devoted to justice who never faltered, who never stood in the way of anyone’s being happy or contributing to society, had to die to create Kira’s perfect world, was it even worth it? Light shook his head as if to dispel the thoughts. Of course it was worth it. Anything was worth creating Kira’s perfect world, and anything was worth sacrificing to maintain it.

Of course. It had to be.

Misa had actually put on some decent clothes for once, wearing a tasteful black dress and jacket with a finely-woven black veil over her face. She clung to Light’s arm like a small child.

“Oh, Light, sweetie, it’s so sad, isn’t it?” Misa crooned, in a clumsy attempt to comfort him. She was actually crying and carrying on more than he was, despite the fact that it wasn’t even her father who had died.

“Misa, control yourself,” Light snapped. “You’re drawing attention.”

Misa’s face fell, and she quickly wiped up her tears and let go of Light’s arm, instead opting to rest one hand lightly on his lower arm. “Sorry, Light,” she whispered. “I’ll be quiet now.”

They stood there in silence for a long time as the sun set. Misa quietly wept, and Light tried to plan his next step in the battle to make Kira’s dominion complete. Except he couldn’t. There was an odd emptiness in his mind, and even though he was determined not to let this setback stop him from ruling over his perfectly just world, he just couldn’t shake that nagging unease.

“Well, isn’t this a pitiful spectacle, hyuk hyuk?”

The booming voice above and behind him announced to Light the very unwelcome presence of Ryuk, the Shinigami – a presence only Light could see.

“Wonder what it’s like attending your honored father’s funeral, knowing you were partly responsible for his death.”

Rage flared up in Light. His fists clenched and he shook with anger, making Misa leap away in sudden fright. It took all his focus to school his face back into careful neutrality. If he could have written the name of that damned Shinigami in the notebook that very instant, he would have.

“Now is not the time, Ryuk,” Light growled.

“Oh, well, pardon me. I was just enjoying your fantastic acting there, Light. For a moment there, you almost looked actually sad about your father’s passing.”

Light’s jaw twitched. If he said he was sad, then it would make his resolve look weak. And after all, Kira could never rest. Kira could not be sad. If he said he wasn’t sad, though, he’d be an inhuman monster. So he took in a breath and said, “it is regrettable that my father died. But sacrifices must be made to create the new world.”

“Regrettable, hmm? Just ‘regrettable’?”

“Shut up, Ryuk. I don’t have time for this.”

“Could it be you actually have a heart in there after all?”

“I said SHUT UP!”

A couple members of the task force and some old friend of his father’s Light had never seen snapped their heads around at his sudden outburst.

“I’m so sorry, Light!” Misa screeched. “I know I’m annoying and I say stupid things sometimes, but I’m just trying to help!”

Light breathed a sigh of relief. Misa had read the situation flawlessly, and she was distracting the observers by acting as though he had yelled at her and not someone invisible. The others looked away and pretended to mind their own business, assuming Light and Misa were just having a regular couple’s fight. A brilliant bit of acting there. Light gave Misa the approving smile she craved. For all her impulsiveness and sheer airheadedness, Misa was a lot smarter than she looked, and occasionally quite useful.

Light grabbed Misa gently by the shoulders and wheeled her around so she was in front of Ryuk, so it would look like he was talking to her. Misa, seemingly understanding what he was getting at, stood there in her best demure pose as he talked past her. “Ryuk, please don’t trouble me like that. In my future world, there won’t be tragedies like this anymore. Don’t you understand, Ryuk? My father had to die so I could live and create a world where the just and good never have to suffer and die unfairly. I have to do this, don’t you see? If I stop now then he’ll have died in vain. Don’t you get it?”

Ryuk stared blankly and scratched his head with one of his long claws. “Can’t say I do, Light. But, whatever comes of this, I’m sure it will be a lot of fun.”

How could the Shinigami speak of “fun” in a time like this? Well, never mind. Light would avenge his father. It wasn’t Kira who killed Soichiro Yagami. It wasn’t even Mello, or rather, not only Mello. It was this whole corrupt, rotten, sinful, twisted world that did it, and it was the world that Light would get his revenge on.

Or so he thought. Even as the dull emptiness in his heart gaped and gave no answer.