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Everything was so cold. At first, there was nothing. Just the dark and the cold. He floated in the infinite void, completely detached from anything and everything. He barely remembered his name. Then there was light. Not the sickly dim purple light that had faded in and out of his vision for months. A real light.
Then everything exploded. For a moment, his vision spun as he fell from the tank that had been his home for the past three months, but then the world went dark again.
oOo
When he woke again, he was somewhere new. Gone was the dark basement with that horrible purple light. Gone was the doctor and his experiments. Gone was the pain. It took him a moment to adjust to the blinding light after spending so much time in darkness.
When his eyes finally adjusted, he saw he was in the sky. That couldn’t be right, though. How was flying? And why was the world so flat? Was he back in Deika? Had he ever left? Everything was swimming again, and it felt like if he lost focus for even a second, he would sink back into the darkness.
He tried to move, but he couldn’t. His limbs seemed locked in place by some unseen force. But no, that wasn’t right either. He could feel himself moving. He could hear the sounds of fighting. The stupid way heroes called out their ultimate moves before making fools of themselves.
Tomura
The voice seemed to speak directly into his head.
It is time for you to sleep.
It was All for One. His master. He was back, and all he had to do to make him proud was rest.
In another life, maybe he would have allowed himself to drift back into the strange dreamless sleep he had emerged from. But he had come too far. He had gotten too close. He finally had something to fight for, and he would not let it go. Not now. Not when he didn’t know if the others were safe.
He tried to fight. Tried to scream as he thrashed inside his mind. He needed to get out. He couldn’t be trapped here. He couldn’t stop. Not until he knew they were okay. Not until he knew he was okay.
There is no need to fight Tomura. Let me take care of this, and when I am done, we will rule this world together. For now, you must sleep. Leave the rest to me.
He tried to speak, but he couldn’t. He felt like he was suffocating. The more he fought, the further he fell into whatever this place was. He couldn’t see the battlefield anymore. He couldn’t see anything.
No. He refused to allow himself to fall. He would not go down without a fight. He would see this through. He would destroy this useless world and build something better. He would build a place where they could belong. A place where no child was ever left alone again.
He bit and clawed and ripped his way from that void. He would not allow himself to be held down. He was to be the king of this new world, and the ones he loved would rule by his side. He had no need for a master anymore.
He gasped as he surfaced. He could see clearly this time. He could see the battlefield spread out before him, and he felt sick. Everything was gone. The ruins of what used to be a city spread out before him. The smell of blood was thick in the air. This wasn’t like Deika. In Deika, they had all been willing to fight and die. This was somewhere else. This was too far.
“What did you do?” his voice sounded wrong, but he could still speak.
I am helping you, Tomura. This is what you have always wanted.
“No. Not like this.”
There is no other way. We must tear this world down to build something new in our own image. This is what you have always wanted
Master was right. Why was he fighting this? As he looked at the battlefield and saw the destruction, he should have been happy. He had ripped down the world. Killed everyone who dared to question him. This was what he had always wanted, so why did it feel so wrong?
Shuichi
Shuichi had shown him a better way. He had shown him there was more to life than rage and destruction. They had wanted to build a new world. One where they could be happy. Where heteromorphs were treated like people, and no child was ever left alone.
He is a distraction. Unimportant.
Tomura felt the all too familiar rage begin to bubble up. How dare he speak about Shuchi like that? He could feel the anger that he had known his whole life as it threatened to overtake him. But for once, he didn’t want it. All he wanted was to find the others. To find Shuichi.
He makes you weak, Tomura. You do not need him.
He laughed. It was a bitter, broken sound, but he laughed nonetheless.
“You know nothing, master. Nothing about me, and nothing about him.”
For a split second, he felt like he could move. He whipped around, scanning the area. Desperately searching for the others. Maybe if he could get to them, they would help him.
They will not save you. Only I can save you. Only I have ever saved you.
“Liar”
The others would help him. The league helped each other. They cared about each other. They cared about him. If he could just find them. If he could just get to them. There. Across the battlefield, a burst of blue flame shot through the sky. He surged forward, and his body listened. He didn’t know what was happening on the battlefield. He didn’t know who he was fighting or why. All he knew was he had to get to the others. He had to get to his family.
He could hear voices. It sounded like that UA kid. Izuku Midoriya. Was he here too? It didn’t matter. All that mattered was getting back. All that mattered was– he jerked to a halt. He felt the way his neck snapped back as All for One wrenched control of his body away from him again.
They are not your family. I am your only family. Now. Do As I Say.
He tried not to be afraid. He tried not to remember the things that would happen when he didn’t listen. He tried not to feel the pain or horror of those nights when he was locked away in that room. That room where everything hurt, and no one ever came to save him. But it didn’t matter how hard he tried. He felt himself sink deeper into the pit of his own mind as the memories swept him away.
oOo
He had only been with Master for a few months, but he was perfect. Master loved him. He cared about him. He never yelled at him or hit him. He would never hurt him. He had told Ten– Tomura so himself. The only time he ever got mad was when he didn’t use the right name. And that was so easy. All he had to do was remember, and Master would never be angry at him.
Master was so kind. He even got him a playmate for when he had to go away. The big Mist Man was scary at first, but now Te– Tomura knew that he was nice. He made really good Miso soup. It was like his momma’s. He loved her soup.
No.
No, he didn’t have a mother. Tenko had a mother, but Tenko was gone. He only had Master. He didn’t need anyone else. Not even Mist Man.
But he wanted Mist Man to know. He made really good soup, and Master always says that he should do what he wants. And he wants to tell Mist Man he makes really good soup. It was okay. Master didn’t have to know. It felt bad to keep things from him, but Mist Man was so nice, and he deserved to know that he made the best soup. Maybe even better than momma’s
He would tell him. Master would never have to know.
Master was away a lot, so it didn’t take long before it was just him and Mist Man again. He tried so hard to remember his name, but it was so hard when he was trying to learn his own name. Mist Man was nice, though. He never got angry when Tenko forgot his name
No.
Not Tenko.
He wasn’t Tenko.
Maybe he shouldn’t do this. Master was so nice, and he didn’t want to make him angry like Father. But Master was nothing like Father.
“Hey, Misty Man? Can I tell you a secret?”
“What is it, Tomura Shigaraki?”
“Don’t tell anyone, but I think you make the best miso soup in the whole world. It’s even better than my momma’s, and she made really good soup. She always made it for me when I was itchy. Will you make me soup when I’m itchy?”
The Mist Man didn’t move. Why wasn’t he moving? Why wasn’t he answering? Had he done something wrong? He didn’t want to be in trouble. Maybe Mist Man would hit him like Father did. He didn’t want that. He wanted Mist Man to be nice.
“Tomura,” He heard Master’s voice from behind him, “By now you ought to know better. Tomura Shigaraki does not have a mother.” He felt a hand come down across the back of his neck. It was so heavy. It was just like Father. But no, Master wouldn’t hurt him, would he?
He felt the hand start to squeeze as he was dragged back. He cried out for the Mist Man, but he just stood there. Just like momma always did.
“Please, Master, I'm so sorry. I won’t do it again. I won’t ever do it again. Please. Please, I’m so sorry.”
But Master didn’t listen. He kept dragging him all the way to the room at the end of the hall he was never allowed to go inside. Master flung the door open so hard it stuck in the wall. It was so dark. He couldn’t see anything. When Master tossed him to the floor, all he felt was pain. His whole body felt like it was on fire. The floor was squirming. It was a writhing, slithering mass of burning, stinging pain.
Tenko cried out. Begged his Master to make it stop. To make it go away. But all Master did was slam the door shut. He didn’t know how long he stayed there as he screamed and begged and cried. All he knew was that when his voice was hoarse and he couldn’t cry anymore, the door opened. Mist Man picked up his broken body. He cleaned the blood away from his legs and put him to bed. He never once left his side as Tomura Shigaraki cried himself to sleep.
It had been years before he knew what was in that room. Years of agony spent on that squirming, writhing floor. Years before he saw that room in the light and realized it was empty. Years before he realized that he had never once been alone there. Years before the blood and the pain made sense. Years before he realized Shuichi could never be his first.
oOo
When he awoke again, he was somewhere familiar. His skin felt dull, but he could still feel the distinctive texture of scales pressed against the side of his face. Shuichi was holding him. He could distantly hear voices, but none of that seemed to matter. He was safe. But why was Shuichi crying?
He tried to move. He tried to reach one of the awful, horrible hands that Shuichi had never once shied away from up to touch his face. But he couldn’t. He was trapped. Frozen in place. Fear dropped like a stone in his stomach. Master. He had taken over. He had taken over his body, and now he was touching Shuichi.
The panic fueled him as he attempted to claw his way through his own skull. He had to get out. He had to protect him. He could feel himself slipping as he fought. He could feel the void trying to suck him back down into the hell he had crawled out of, but he would not let it take him.
“Shu… ichi…run”
He could hear Master screaming. Could hear it as he called him useless, worthless, filthy, and anything else he could think of, but it didn’t matter. He had warned him. He could get away. He could be safe even if Tomura never was again.
He could see Shuichi’s face looking down at him. He tried to speak again, but this time it wasn't his voice that came out.
“We must run. We must exit this battle lest we lose the war. Come Shuichi. We must go”
“What about the other? We can’t just leave them here! Toga is headed this way now, and Dabi is still down there with Endeavor. We have to wait for them.”
He saw his hand reach up, but it was not his own. He saw his hand as it cradled Shuichi’s face. He tried to scream. Tried to beg him to stop, but nothing worked. Nothing ever worked. He felt tears rolling down his cheeks for the first time since he was a child. How could he be so fucking useless? He had promised to make them a better world, and now he couldn’t even warn him that he was allowing a monster to touch him.
“I will send someone for them later. For now, we must take our leave. I have something special that I need your help with.”
Shuichi looked at him like he was trying to figure something out. Like he somehow knew something was wrong. But eventually, he just gave a slight nod of his head.
“Compress! Skeptic! I gotta get the boss outta here. He’s hurt, and he needs medical attention. When you guys are ready, send the signal, and we’ll get you outta here.”
He couldn’t hear the responses. All he could hear was the wooshing sound as he was pulled through a portal. He could almost taste that disgusting black sludge as he was dropped down into a cave.
He knew this place. This was where he had trained. Where Master sent waves of Nomu after him until he was broken and bleeding, just to heal him up and make him do it all again until he was satisfied. Kurogiri was never allowed in this place. Just like that room, this was a place that only he and All for One were ever in.
Except now Shuichi was here.
“Tomura, what’s wrong? I know that fight was rough, but you seem… different. Is everything alright?”
He tried. He tried so hard to scream that nothing was alright. That he was in danger and he needed to run as far and as fast as he could, but the words just wouldn’t come. Instead, all he heard was Master’s cruel words spoken in his voice.
“Tomura is gone. You are a distraction that must be eliminated.”
It happened in a flash. One moment, Shuichi was looking at him with confusion, and the next, he was on the ground, choking as blood welled up into his throat.
“In your current state, you are of no use to anyone. I will change that. I will make you worthy of Tomura.”
He could do nothing as he watched Shuichi scream and writhe on the hard ground of the cave. He could do nothing but listen as he begged for someone to help him, as his body was twisted and broken into something new. He watched as kind, beautiful Shuichi was formed into something unrecognizable.
He felt his body stand as he looked down at the monster that was no longer Shuichi.
Do you like him, Tomura? I made him just for you. Now he will serve as a soldier below you, as he always should have.
Shuichi stood. He looked down at him, but there was no recognition on his face. Tomura had seen so many Nomu in his life. He had seen that blank, unknowing stare so many times in this cave. Why did it have to be Shuichi’s face that held that dead eyed stare?
He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. All he could do was curl up into a ball like he had so many times as a child and wait for it to be over. Except this time it would never be over. No one would ever soothe the pain away. No one would ever hold him while he clawed into his neck until he bled. No one would ever tell him they loved him ever again. Because Shuichi Iguchi was dead. Tomura Shigaraki killed him.