Archive of Our Own ^beta

The Deal

“Oh, Honey! I’m Home!” Sam Winchester called in an almost mocking, sing-song voice as he stepped into the battered, abandoned house he’d located on the outskirts of Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

His voice echoed in the near-empty house while he turned to lock the deadbolt, and the other four locks he’d installed on the interior main door after he’d decided this would serve his purpose for a plan that had been in his mind for the past few weeks.

Sam dropped the bag of fast food and other supplies he’d gone out to purchase on the kitchen counter while listening closely for the sounds he knew he should be hearing. His lips curved into a slow smile as he heard not only what he expected but other sounds, too; sounds that meant he’d have to dish out some punishment to his ‘sister’ soon.

The hunter had known something was wrong with him after his return from the Cage. He hadn’t been sure what that was, but he’d known it was something, since he just didn’t have the same emotions, or any emotion really, like he knew he’d had before jumping into Hell and spending 100 years Hell-time locked with two pissed off Archangels.

At first, the hunter had excused it as just a way to survive once he found himself freed. It was after he reunited with his older brother, when it clicked for him that not even the feelings he had for Dean still felt the same, that Sam understood the depth of the change inside him

Not that he minded it. If he were honest right now, he would admit to enjoying not having the emotions and guilt he used to have. 

Learning that his soul seemed to have been left behind when he was pulled from the Cage explained a lot. It did provide a reason, an excuse for his coldness, his unfeeling nature. He also used it to excuse his sudden need for a much more intense style of sex.

Sam knew Dean was working to restore his soul. They’d fought over that. Sam wasn’t sure he wanted his soul back for quite a few reasons. The largest one of those was any guilt that might come back over things he’d done or the memories he feared from the Cage. 

Of course, his brother was determined, because Dean knew, as Sam really did, that there would come a time when Sam would do something that would cross a line that Dean either couldn’t cover up or couldn’t fix.

It was after their last fight over soul restoration that Sam had begun to think, to plot, to plan. From the moment he and Dean had started hunting together again, Sam had been thinking of the side of his and Dean’s lives that hadn’t been so brotherly. He’d mentioned fucking casually one day in the car, and Dean had flat out said that so long as he was soulless, that nothing sexual would be on the table between them.

That didn’t sit well with Sam. He knew his former self would have willingly and readily accepted his older brother’s words. But then, Sam knew right then, as he was, that he was by far not his other, more emotional, big-eyed, worshipping-the-ground-his-older-brother-walked-on self.

He’d come up with a plan and had been working on it as Dean had been working on finding a way to get his soul back.

Sam had quickly realized what he’d wanted; he needed someplace more suitable than a motel room. His plan wasn’t going to be for a quick fuck. No. He wanted to take his time because this wouldn’t be like his times with hookers. This would be a much more personal thing… even if Dean didn’t want it.

That would be the biggest obstacle, Sam knew. Convincing Dean to give him what he wanted without having to use too much force or drugs. Of course, Sam was willing to use both since he knew even if Dean reluctantly agreed, once he learned what his part in this little act would entail, Sam knew his brother would refuse. That’s when he suddenly had another idea.

“Give me a week to do whatever I want to you, however I want it, and once I let you go, I won’t fight your attempts to get my soul back.”

The offer was simple, straightforward, and Sam meant it. He might not want his soul, but if Dean conceded to this offer and agreed to this deal, then Sam figured his brother would have earned the right to reclaim it.

Dean had demanded details, but none were given. “The details of this game, or what I’ll do, don’t matter, Dean. If you want my soul back in, then you’ll give me a week to play with you however I want,” Sam had said coolly, leaning back in a chair at whatever motel they’d been at while he watched his brother stalk the room.

“Fine!” Dean had snapped, narrowing his eyes. “How do I know, though, that you’ll keep your word and let me go?” he demanded, wary since he knew without a soul that Sam could not gauge things that might be going “too far”. 

“You don’t,” Sam said simply, standing and not missing the edge of caution he could easily read on his brother’s ruggedly handsome face. “You trusted me once.”

“Yeah. I trusted my brother,” Dean had agreed, sneering. “My brother wouldn’t have stood by smiling as a goddamn vampire bit me!” He had snapped, but knew this might be his best chance at getting Sam’s soul back in without a huge fight. “As much as I know it’s a mistake, I’ll give you what you want. When?”

“Now.”

Sam knew if he hadn’t already been moving, if he hadn’t had the syringe ready, that he’d never have gotten the drop on Dean as easily as he did that day.

He’d still tasted blood from a vicious elbow to the face before he’d gotten Dean pinned on the bed, quickly using a zip tie to bind his wrists and ankles while waiting for the drug to take effect. It would knock his brother out for the next few hours.

“Shhh. Don’t fight this, Dean. You agreed to let me do whatever I want,” Sam had murmured, lying on the bed beside Dean as his body slowly started going lax, his eyes glassy from the drug. “You’ll wake up able to feel. I needed you drugged and unconscious for pre-prep, so to speak,” he’d explained, slipping his hand up under Dean’s t-shirt to find one nipple so he could begin to tease, to twist it until he felt his brother’s sluggish body struggle to move away. 

“No. You’ll learn to stay still for me. You’ll also learn to enjoy what I do to your body,” Sam had smiled, leaning closer to whisper something in Dean’s ear and smiling at the soft whimper. “I can’t wait for you to wake up and see the changes I’ve made for you, to you… sweet, sweet, Deanna.”

After driving from that motel room to the house outside of Sioux Falls that he’d taken over and easily refitted for his purposes, Sam recalled the thrill he felt carrying his still unconscious brother in, carrying him upstairs to the largest room that Sam had made certain contained everything he’d need to start with.

He’d debated allowing Dean to wake up, to force him to be conscious during this part, but he then decided it would be better to watch his face as he realized what was in store for him when he did wake up.

Sam hadn’t been disappointed then, and even now, almost five days until their deal, he still wasn’t disappointed. He’d known his sibling wouldn’t fully give in, wouldn’t break to Sam’s will or demands or humiliating games. He’d known it, and that was why he’d done it.

Gathering items to take upstairs, he headed up to the largest room on the second story while whistling a little tune. 

Sam unlocked the padlock he’d installed on the outside of the door before opening it with a smile, stepping in. “Hello, sweetheart. How’s my girl doing today?” He asked, lips curving more into a cold, mocking smile as he placed what he’d brought up on a table before crossing to a cage on the other side of the room. “Did you miss me while I was out buying more toys and jewelry for you, Deanna?” he asked, stopping a few feet away from the cage to peer in with a leer. “Hmm. It never fails to turn me on when I see you like this, baby,” he groaned, beginning to remove his jacket and shirts while letting his eyes move over the figure trapped in the cage. 

Dean glared at his smirking soulless brother from inside the cage, which was often where he was forced to spend many hours during the day, whether Sam had to go out or even just to amuse his brother, where he lay on the bed across the room and jerked off while watching him have some type of sex toy fuck him.

Not sure how long he’d been unconscious, Dean had woken up into a nightmare that even made some of his time in Hell with Alastair look tame. He’d been groggy still, his body still felt heavy as memories came back of agreeing to Sam’s deal for a week of allowing his brother to do whatever he’d wanted in exchange for allowing Dean to find a way to return his soul to his body.

Every piece of the hunter inside of him had been screaming it was a bad plan, but Dean’s need to have his little brother back, the brother who teared up at watching sappy movies or wore his heart on his sleeve, had been stronger than the alarm bells that had been sounding to not agree with this.

Dean knew Sam’s soulless self was cold. He knew he could be cruel and even heartless at times, but he guessed he hadn’t allowed himself to really think of just how dark a hole his brother’s morals had gone until he woke up after being jumped in their motel room and drugged, to realize what Sam had meant by pre-prep work.

If he’d been willing to guess, Dean would have thought he’d wake up tied in some way. He’d had brief flashes of an array of sex toys since he had a hunch this soulless jackass version of his brother would be very BDSM in his sexual ways. 

That had been the main reason Dean had flat-out refused to go there when Sam had been brought up to him one time. He knew this side of his brother was all Dom in the worst ways, and while Dean didn’t mind bottoming at times for his Sam, there had been no way in Hell that he was going to trust this bastard with control of their sex.

Waking up with a ringing head, it had only taken the hunter a few minutes to understand how badly he’d misunderstood the depths to which Robo-Sam appeared to be willing to go to either humiliate him or show his control.

He’d woken up slowly, unsure of where he was since even before he opened his eyes, he knew this wasn’t the motel. Then Dean realized not only was he blindfolded, but his arms were stretched over his head, and it seemed like he was hanging by his wrists. When he went to move his legs to test if they were free, he realized quickly not only were his ankles restrained in some way, but it felt like there was a spreader bar between his thighs.

His next test was to see if he’d been gagged, and he wasn’t shocked or disappointed when his tongue hit the hard rubber of a damn ball gag. He wasn’t sure if he growled or groaned, but he knew he must have made some noise because he heard a sound from behind him as if a body was getting off a bed.

“You’re awake. Good. I was beginning to wonder if I wouldn’t have to start the fun before you were,” Sam’s voice spoke as he approached, eyes moving over Dean’s body to lick his lips at the image it now presented to him. “Before I take the blindfold off, I want you to understand the rules in case you’ve forgotten,” Sam said slowly, running his fingers up Dean’s arm to smirk when he saw him try to tense. “You agreed to give yourself to me for whatever games I want to play with you for a week. That means, you are now my literal bitch,” he went on, grabbing a handful of hair to yank back Dean’s head.

“You will obey my every command. You will act like the obedient whore I have made you into… Deanna,” Sam made sure to stress the new name while at the same time letting his tongue lick over Dean’s ear, feeling him give a jerk in the chains that held him from a chain hanging from the ceiling. “That was bad, honey,” he growled, tightening his fingers. “You’re going to earn your first punishment if you keep this up. You agreed to the deal. Whatever I wanted. Well, what I want is you looking like this…”

With a swift jerk, Sam removed the blindfold to give Dean a full 360-degree view of not only his current circumstances but also the depths of change it seemed like Sam had just put his body through.

Dean was struggling to remember that he had been the one to put himself in this mess. He wanted his brother’s soul back and thought he could prepare himself for whatever Sam might have planned for him for seven days. 

He’d been almost sure that nothing this soulless bastard did could shock him. Dean had believed that until the blindfold came off and his vision finally cleared after being blinded by sudden light.

Dean was both glad for the gag in his mouth and hating it out of fear that if he puked, like he felt like doing, he’d choke on his own bile. He’d known he was hanging. He’d known his legs were held in a spreader bar and also chained to the floor somehow. He’d known he’d been gagged and blindfolded, but as his body still fought off the original drugs, he blamed that for anything else he thought he’d felt, such as the heaviness in certain parts of him.

After Sam pulled the blindfold off, Dean was shocked, furious, sick, and he figured humiliated would come soon.

“I always wanted a sister,” Sam smiled, stepping up to the side where Dean could see him fully, as well as himself in the series of mirrors that had been set up just for this purpose. “Looks like I have one now,” he added, laughing as wide green eyes stared into the mirror as if unable to believe what was being seen. “Sorry if the makeup is a little heavy, but I wanted to be sure you could see the eyeliner and mascara. Those really make your eyes pop, Deanna.”

Dean felt his breath catch as he took in his body, seeing it for the first time. Yes, the heavy black eyeliner and mascara were clearly visible. He noticed a deep red lipstick smeared on his lips over and around the large ball gag that was stuffed in his mouth. There appeared to be some heavy blush on his face that wasn’t covered by the straps of the gag. Those disturbed him, but it was what else Dean saw that was making his stomach pitch dangerously.

He’d been dressed in a skimpy red lace bra and panty set with matching garters going down his legs to hook to the metal cuffs on his ankles. That was humiliating, but what truly horrified the hunter was what the bra was holding up. 

“Oh. I see you’ve noticed what I really, really worked to get,” Sam smirked, stepping behind Dean to move his hands up in front of him to firmly cup the breasts that now completed the picture of turning his brother into his sister or just another whore he paid for sex. “Double D cup, sweetheart,” he whispered, blowing hot breath on Dean’s neck and hearing a low sound that he knew wasn’t pleasure. “I found a set of breasts that hook on like a bra. Then I used some flesh tone paste to cover the straps all over so when you’re naked, it’ll look like these are natural.”

Sam continued to squeeze the flesh-toned and real-feeling breasts while moving closer to press against Dean’s back, his straining cock already pressing through his jeans against Dean’s panty-covered ass, and heard a moan. “Look down,” he ordered, raking his teeth over his helpless brother’s neck while sliding one hand down to cover his stomach, feeling him jerk again. “Hold still, bitch!” he snarled. “Look!”

Dean struggled to look away from the large, rounded breasts overfilling the lace bra. Then he looked down as ordered to and had to look again as a brief burst of panic began to hit him. 

“Don’t worry. You still have a cock. I just had to hide it, so to speak. It kinda ruined the image I’m trying to create for you,” Sam said, pressing his hand over Dean’s stomach. “I put a cock ring and a little plug in the tip since you won’t be coming anytime soon. Then I pulled it up against your stomach here and used some flesh colored bondage tape to secure it. Then I used that same paste,” he explained, meeting wide, horrified eyes and pinching the nipple of the breast he still had a hold of until Dean’s body suddenly arched back. “Yeah, I did give you a nice little drug that will make you feel everything I do, just like you would if you were a woman,” he licked along Dean’s neck before biting the hollow. “Samuel and Crowley had people who could get all types of wicked drugs. You’ll see how wicked soon,” he promised.

Dean didn’t have to wait long to see what Robo-Sam meant by that comment. He watched his brother reach up to free his cuffed hands from where they’d been hooked above him. He had a brief thought of fighting, of breaking this deal and finding some way to force Sam’s soul back into him. He had that thought briefly until he felt strong arms grip him from behind after his ankles had been freed.

“If you fight me, if you even try to break the deal you agreed to, not only won’t I let you go after the time is up, but I will find some witch, some demon, something, or someone who can make these changes to your body real, Deanna,” Sam threatened in a low tone, dragging his toy back towards the bed where he threw him, quickly following so he could pin Dean down with his body. “All you have to do for the time agreed on is just give in to me. Let me have you like I want. Do and be what I want, and afterwards, I’ll let you try to get your precious little brother back,” he went on, straddling Dean’s legs while using his hands to grope his breasts again before reaching on the nightstand for a needle.

Dean groaned, frustrated and sickened by this, but also knowing it might be his only way to get his brother back. He stared up at Sam before giving a jerk of a nod, letting him know that he’d keep the deal even if Dean knew there’d be moments when he’d still fight.

“I know you’ll fight me,” Sam said as if reading his brother’s expression of resignation, holding up the needle he had to show it before he injected it into Dean’s neck. “This drug is the one I was talking about. You are going to lie here and I’m going to fuck you into the mattress,” he growled, gripping Dean’s jaw in one hand to force him to look at him. “You’ll keep those eyes open and on me. You will never close your eyes unless I let you sleep, bitch.”

Sleep. Dean had forgotten what that word even meant over the next several days. From the moment Sam kept his promise and literally fucked him multiple times that first day. It seemed like each day after that just included different, more extreme games and toys, but very little sleep.

The rare chance when he could sleep, Dean found himself jerking awake to Sam sucking on those damn breasts, biting them until the drug he always kept him doused with began to make his body react to the touch.

Every day, Sam would dress him in a different colored, skimpy set of lace bra and panties. On the third day of their deal, he’d attached cuffs to his ankles, placed a heavy leather belt on his waist that he could attach his wrists to, kept the gag in his mouth while retouching the make-up with crude words and comments, before leading him downstairs to the kitchen.

“You're my woman. Cook breakfast,” Sam ordered, smirking at the narrowed-eyed glare that earned him. “Obey or…” he touched the rattan cane that he’d used to whip Dean’s ass one time when he’d fought his attempt to fist him. “That’s my girl,” he sneered as Dean moved as best as he could in his restraints to fix a simple breakfast of bacon and eggs. 

Sam had been sitting at the table, rubbing a hand over his crotch as his cock had gotten hard at the picture this made. Opening his jeans, he pulled his cock out with one hand, reaching up to yank Dean closer when he’d placed the single plate on the table. “Sit on my lap,” he ordered, voice rough. “You’re going to fuck yourself on my cock while I eat. If you please me, if you make me come before I’m through, I’ll give you real food today instead of that bottled gruel I’ve been forcing down you,” he added, yanking the panties down smooth legs since he’d strapped his brother down the other night to shave him.

Dean trembled, hating this and vowing not to show how sick this made him as he slowly moved to lower himself down onto the already huge cock. He’d already been fucked three times that morning by Sam, and with one of his damn toys, but whatever drug Sam used seemed to cause his body to close faster than it should have. Not having time to open himself, or even any lube to use, he noticed Sam had lubed his cock at least as he inserted the head.

“Moan, Deanna,” Sam ordered in between bites of food. “Moan for me and let me hear it like I know you want this,” he said, grabbing Dean’s neck and pulling him down so his cock went up into slick, tight heat faster than he knew Dean was trying to do. “Now, move on me.”

The sudden jerk down had Dean moaning, feeling his inner muscles stretch and burn as Sam’s cock was driven up inside of him. He could feel himself shaking, knew it was from the shock of the pain, but also knew he needed to try to get the bastard off before Sam was finished with his breakfast.

Having his hands cuffed the way they were made it difficult since he couldn’t get leverage by gripping the table. Dean began moving as best as he could when he felt Sam’s lap lurch up, forcing him to move, and realized Sam wanted him to thrust up and down on his cock so he could also see the breasts move with him.

“Hmm, that’s so good, baby,” Sam crooned, taking another bite of food  when he suddenly moved a hand down to play with his brother’s trapped balls. “They’re so full. I bet they and that useless cock really want to come.”

Dean bit the gag in his mouth against the pain in his balls. He could see the outline of his cock at times where it was trapped against his stomach. He hoped that sometime, Sam might actually relent and give him some release.

It took time and more bouncing than he had wanted to do. Still, soon Dean heard Sam’s moans picking up; he felt his hand groping his breasts until Dean knew he was moaning under the gag, twisting more against the feeling that caused inside him, and suddenly Dean felt Sam’s hips move up sharply, and he once again felt hot come filling him.

“Huh. Good girl,” Sam whispered, pulling Dean’s head back to force a kiss over the gag before pulling back. “I’ll feed you later. Now, it’s back upstairs for another game.”

Dean had had more than enough of this bastard’s games, but was helpless to stop him or do anything but be shoved and dragged around.

Sam didn’t actually feed him food, but if Dean had been honest, he’d be afraid to try solid food now, out of the punishment that would come if he puked it back up after so long of not having solid food.

Sam only removed the gag when he wanted to fuck Dean’s mouth or feed him through a bottle. Any other time, he kept it in because he said it was hot to see.

By the time they’d gotten to the present day, the fifth day, Dean was so numb that he was just barely able to keep his mind alert enough to follow any orders barked at him, and he understood this was a dangerous mental place for him to be falling into. 

That morning after fucking him in the shower, Sam had pulled him toward a device on the floor, and Dean heard himself whimper.

The saddle machine was a small-looking sex device that looked like a saddle but had various attachments. Dean could see the nubbed-looking dildo attached to the seat and felt himself tense until a sharp whack from the cane hit his ass. 

“Don’t fight me, baby,” Sam told him, pulling him over to the saddle while shifting the panties so they didn’t prevent him from inserting the dildo up inside Dean. “Sit down,” he ordered, forcing his brother to sit on the saddle with his knees spread on either side. “All the way down, Deanna,” he said as if chiding him. “Good. Good girl. Now we’re going to hook the saddle straps onto you so you can’t free yourself.”

Dean’s eyes snapped to see Sam reaching for the heavy leather belt that he hooked around his waist before attaching heavy straps to the saddle machine. Then Sam hooked Dean’s wrists in the attached handcuffs.

“Almost done, Deanna,” Sam loved using that name because he could see each time he did, something in his brother faded away. “We’re going to hook your ankles together to make everything feel nice and tight before I put this cage over you while I have to run out for a couple of hours.”

The nubbed dildo that was attached to the device felt like it was stretching him. Dean felt the burn. He felt the cold metal on his ankles before hearing the chain that would go behind the saddle, and attach the ankle cuffs to it, making it impossible for him to move.

“Now, we’re all nicely hooked up,” Sam smiled, moving to kneel in front of his brother to rub his hand over a swell of a breast before leaning closer to kiss him over the gag. Then he smirked and moved his mouth down to take a lace-covered nipple in his mouth to suck on it until he heard Dean’s muffled moans pick up. “Gonna suck on those when I come back, sweetie,” he promised, stepping back to bring over a cage that was barely big enough to fit over his restrained brother and hooking it to the floor. “Last thing? We turn this baby on and let it fuck you, tease you, since the speed will alternate. Stay quiet other than to moan, Deanna. No shouts or begging to be found, cause no one will ever find you here or rescue you.”

Dean knew that only too well, though he was curious as to how Sam was keeping Bobby from asking questions about where they were or why he wasn’t calling. He was thinking about that when suddenly he heard a low buzz before he suddenly felt the dildo he was sitting on begin to move, to vibrate, to shove up and down at varying speeds.

Knowing Sam was very literal about punishing him for disobeying, Dean struggled to stay still on the device, not to move or make a sound. However, after about an hour and a half, it seemed like the device kicked into high gear. He moaned loudly behind the ball gag when he felt the nubs on the dildo begin to strike his prostate harder and remain there instead of backing off like the device had been.

Dean tried to move, to shift, to even arch back, but it seemed like no matter how he moved, the dildo on the saddle moved with him. He wasn’t even aware of when his moans turned into cries, to muffled shouts, until he dimly heard the door to the bedroom open and heard Sam’s mocking voice enter the room, approaching the cage.

“You’re so, so hot. Cuffed and tied on that saddle machine. Unable to move as it slams that dildo up inside you, hitting that oh-so special spot that makes you want to scream for a release that you know won’t be coming,” Sam smiled more, laughing at the sounds of moans coming from behind the large red ball gag. 

“I heard you trying to scream, to make more noise than you’re allowed to. I’ll have to punish you for that,” he added, kneeling close enough that he could reach in to touch the lace covering the fake breasts before he grabbed ahold of the red lace to yank it off, freeing them to bounce as Sam watched his brother’s body tremble against the feelings his body was being forced to endure now.

“I’m going to punish you, Deanna,” Sam said, unlocking the cage so he could move it, but he didn’t shut off the saddle machine. Instead, he knelt in front of it and began groping, molding Dean’s breasts in both hands while leaning close and covering his gagged mouth in a brutal kiss.

Dean wanted to look away, to close his eyes, but he couldn’t. He also wanted to jerk free of the rough hands groping not only those fake breasts but also now down over his stomach, where the belt was covering his trapped and painful cock. He did scream with this touch and knew when Sam’s hazel eyes, now nearly all dark with his desire, shot to him that his punishment would be worse, but Dean couldn’t fight the pain anymore.

Sam had looked at what could have caused the scream. He saw where his hand was, realized where the belt was riding, and figured his brother’s cock was now probably in a bad way.

“Want me to let you go, honey?” he suddenly asked, not ready to, but he enjoyed seeing the brief look of hope on Dean's face. “We have two more days to go through, and I haven’t even tried to fist you again or use the hose,” Sam sneered, feeling shaking hands attempt to grab onto his shirt. “No. No touching me. But you’ll be begging soon,” he promised, shutting the machine off and quickly freeing Dean from the restraints and the machine.

Dean’s body was strung out. He was certain he was hearing his heart in his ears and really hoped this didn’t end up killing him, even if Sam kept his word and let him go.

“You made noise, bitch. I told you only to moan, but I heard those cries when I came home,” Sam said, dragging a basically almost limp Dean over towards where a heavy metal device sat. “You thought that little thing fucked that useless hole? That was nothing compared to what this monster will do,” he promised.

Sam moved quickly to hook Dean’s wrists at the small of his back while forcing him to lie flat on the hard plastic seat, causing his weight to press down more on his trapped cock on his stomach. He hooked a heavy strap over his back and thighs while spreading them before pulling up the attached dildo part of the fucking machine.

He adjusted the upper part of the machine to rest Dean’s chest on, but only with a thin rod, allowing the breasts to hang down. He pulled the man’s head up to hook a chain around it so it stayed up.

“This is a real fucking machine, baby. It’s going to fuck your ass while I fuck your mouth,” Sam explained, staring into glassy green eyes as he reached to undo the strap of the gag. “If you want to say anything to me, do it now,” he growled once he pulled the gag out while shedding his clothes. “Speak!”

Dean wasn’t sure he had the spit to say anything at this point. He could feel his body fighting to stay conscious and didn’t think he’d remain that way long, even though he knew how Sam would take that.

Managing to force his jaw closed after so long with it held open, Dean forced himself to swallow a few times to find any spit while trying to decide if there were any words to say to this version of his brother. “... … S-Sammy,” he whispered, voice barely audible, but he felt the hard, cold, thick end of the mechanical dildo touching his red, bloody, hole, seeing through blurry eyes Sam’s cock nearing his mouth and decided if this were his only chance at words, then he’d take them. “... I… I love you.”

Dean knew those words meant nothing to this version of Sam, but he needed to say them to him, and to the boy he was fighting so hard to get back. Then he decided to take a chance and push out more words. “No… guilt. I…I… made… the deal for… you.”

If those words surprised this version of Sam Winchester, he didn’t let on. He knew Dean was speaking to a side of him that Sam still wasn’t sure would ever return. He merely hit the control to start the machine up on full speed to drive the large, thick dildo into Dean’s ass while at the same time he gripped his hair to force his cock into Dean’s mouth.

“Suck me,” Sam ordered in a rougher voice, feeling Dean’s body try to strain on the bench as his trapped, and very swollen cock and balls continued to be assailed now with every hit of the fucking machine. “Suck me off, Dean,” he growled, tightening his fingers in dirty brown hair to force it up enough to look into glassy eyes that were now mostly all pupil from pain and shock.

Sam knew the name he’d used. He saw a mild look of confused surprise from his brother, but ignored it in favor of thrusting his cock into his brother’s mouth. He knew he could go further, but didn’t. He merely went in deep only once, heard his brother start to gag, and pulled out, so most of it was in. “Suck. Use your tongue… Dean. Suck me off.”

The fucking machine was thrusting in rapid blows up inside the helpless hunter. Dean was fighting to stay conscious. He knew he needed to remain conscious at least long enough for Sam to come because he didn’t want him to shoot come down his throat if he wasn’t mindful enough to swallow.

The pain he was in from his cock, his balls were now to the point of making him sick, but Dean feared there would be nothing to do about that. He merely had to hope that in a few more days, the bastard would have gotten all of his sick fucks filled and would let him go. 

Then Dean wasn’t sure what the hell he’d do because he wasn’t sure if he’d ever fully trust being alone with his soulless brother, much less ever to go to sleep in a motel with him.

Pushing those thoughts aside, Dean forced all his strength to suck Sam’s cock harder. He’d never been thrilled to give blowjobs, but he knew how to. He was just so damn tired and weak that it was getting harder for him to suck, to use his tongue along the sensitive nerve on the underside, but he did.

Soon Dean felt the salty, sweet flavor of what he would always recognize as Sam’s come touch his tongue. He began sucking harder, faster until he felt strong fingers grip his hair harder to give a jerk on it just as a more steady stream of hot liquid began to hit his tongue, and Dean stilled himself for what was about to come.

Sam had been watching Dean’s face. He noticed the deep bruises on his face from the straps of the gag, but frowned at how much more severe they seemed to him now. Then he realized he was seeing more of the fine layer of freckles that his brother had that he’d always hated. 

He bit his lip, feeling his body want to thrust more, harder.  Dean seemed to be having trouble maintaining the pattern he’d found to suck him. Sam noticed how pale his brother’s face was becoming and he suddenly began thinking more about the pain Dean had to be in.

Feeling his balls start to draw up, Sam briefly allowed himself to imagine shooting his load down Dean’s throat like he had a few other times. At the last second though, he pulled out, shifting to the side so when he did come it was on the floor, groaning while using the hand he didn’t have in Dean’s hair to stroke himself until he felt his orgasm was maxed out.

As soon as he was through, Sam dropped to his knees in front of his brother to catch Dean’s face between his palms so he could lift it just enough to see his eyes. He saw the barest hint of color at the same time as he heard Dean gasping. “Hey,” he called in a much quieter voice, waiting as it took his brother a second to force his eyes to open a fraction more to look at him, but Sam doubted if Dean was seeing anything.

Sam curved a hand down over the deep, angry welts on one side of Dean’s face before leaning in to cover his mouth in a kiss that this time he knew would leave Dean wary and confused, if he were even more than slightly conscious. 

Sam’s kisses this whole time over the gag, or the few times he’d removed it, had been rough, hard, demanding. This kiss changed to a slower, softer one. The type of kiss he figured his fully souled self might offer.

Dean knew he was fading fast now. He’d been surprised when Sam had pulled out of his mouth instead of forcing him to swallow. Though now, as he struggled to remain conscious, to wait for the gag to be shoved back in his mouth, Dean was shocked when he felt Sam’s mouth take his in a kiss that wasn’t harsh or demanding as they had been before. He wasn’t sure how to take this sudden, unexpected change and wondered what it was leading up to.

Unable to find energy to form words again, and also afraid he was being set up, Dean merely looked through hazy eyes as Sam knelt in front of where he was still hooked to the fucking machine that was driving into his ass at a more normal speed.

Sam held up the remote to show it to his brother before hitting the ‘OFF’ button, letting it drop to the floor with a sigh. “Sleep, Dean,” he said, knowing his brother was already half unconscious by that point anyway. “Sleep. You’ve earned it.”

As soon as the fucking machine turned off, Dean wasn’t sure if he wanted to sob in relief or try to beg Sam to untrap his cock and balls, even if it was just for a short time. Hearing Sam’s order to sleep was almost as shocking to him as that kiss had been, and it still left him wary of what might happen if he did sleep.

“If I promise on the soul you want me to have so badly that nothing will happen to you while you’re asleep, will you just let go and sleep?” Sam asked, seeing Dean struggling to remain awake even as his eyes were almost rolling back in his head and he was having difficulty holding his head up, if Sam still didn’t have a hand on his face. “You’re crashing after days of me not letting you sleep, Dean,” he said with a smirk.

Dean’s ears sounded like he was underwater. He knew he was going to crash despite not wanting to, out of mistrust of what he’d wake up to, but in the end, the hunter could feel himself losing the battle. He fought for another look, but Sam merely watched him calmly. Then, after too many days with little actual sleep and no real food, Dean felt himself dropping into darkness with a moan.

Sam watched silently as his brother’s body went limp in the restraints still holding him on the machine. He looked Dean’s body over for a long moment, debating his choices of going on for the final two days of their deal or calling a stop.

Truthfully, Sam hadn’t planned to take their deal for as long as he had, but he did enjoy having Dean under his control, watching his always-in-control brother have to give that up to someone else.

Sam also enjoyed seeing Dean dressed up, made up to look like a female. He’d enjoyed the one time he’d forced his brother to caress those fake breasts in front of a mirror. He knew he’d pushed the envelope a little too far in some areas, such as when it came to forcing Dean to use a catheter, and now that he was considering things, Sam hoped he hadn’t caused his brother any permanent damage by how he’d trapped his cock and balls.

Standing, he placed himself back in his jeans before he began to unhook the restraints of the machine to carefully remove Dean by easily lifting him into his arms to carry him into the room next to this one on the second floor of the house.

This room resembled a bedroom more closely. It had a large bed with an attached bath off the room. Sam laid his brother down on the bed, sitting on the edge to continue to look at him, to gaze over the changes he’d forced on his brother, all in the name of making Dean play along while promising to let his soul be put back in.

Placing his hand over the swell of one of the fake breasts, Sam touched it like he had been, but looking up at the soft whimper he heard from Dean as even in his sleep, now his body was just oversensitized to touch.

“Damn it,” Sam muttered, running his fingers back through his hair while suddenly feeling frustrated and annoyed.

He thought back to the words Dean had spoken before he’d made him suck him off. Sam knew his brother hadn’t been really talking to him as he was now, but to the little brother that he was desperately trying to get back. Sam understood that Dean had allowed all of this, his games to happen just so he’d have a chance at getting the brother he wanted back.

Sam understood the reason Dean had said them. It was in case Sam’s soul was restored, if he had any memories of this time, then Dean didn’t want any guilt to be laid on him for a deal that Dean had agreed to.

Frowning as he took in the pain crossing Dean’s face in his sleep, Sam made a motion to raise his hand only to drop it when he realized it was actually shaking from a sudden rush of raw feelings like he hadn’t felt since right before he jumped in a damn hole in Stull.

Sam wasn't sure why he was feeling guilty all of a sudden about putting his brother through this. He did know what he needed to do, and he needed to do it while Dean was sleeping, even though he’d promised him that nothing would happen to him while he slept.

Walking into the attached bathroom, Sam filled a basin with hot water and poured in antiseptic. He gathered their medical kit and duffels from the trunk of the Impala that he’d parked behind the house to avoid being spotted in case Bobby happened to be driving the backroads outside of Sioux Falls for any reason.

Sam had planned to let Dean shower to remove the flesh-toned paste that he’d used to cover the fake breast top and the bondage tape he’d used to hold his brother’s cock against his stomach. That had been the plan until Sam decided to call the game early, and he also knew in his gut that Dean wouldn’t be able to stand to shower right away.

He wiped the paste away, finding it a lot harder than he expected, and realized the stuff wasn’t meant to be used or to stay on for as long as he’d left it on Dean’s skin. By the time he’d gotten it wiped off enough that he could remove the prosthesis and bondage tape, Sam cringed at how red Dean’s skin appeared.

“Yeah. He’ll kick my ass as soon as he can,” Sam muttered to the silent room, frowning when he looked down at Dean’s cock. This time, the words he said were short, swift, and viscous as he took in just how engorged the purplish-red cock looked, and he actually hesitated before taking it gingerly in his fingertips when a sudden cry of pain took him off guard. “Dean?”

Dean looked to be still sleeping even while his body jerked as if in pain from having his cock touched, and Sam figured there had to be pain, as he now really understood the pain his brother had to have been going through the last five days.

“Shit,” Sam muttered, getting angry at himself over this. True, he’d wanted to play harder with Dean than he knew they normally ever would. True, he wanted control. But he hadn’t ever planned to harm Dean like this or make his brother suffer when he didn’t have a way to convey to Sam anything. 

Of course, Sam also wasn’t sure he would have stopped if he had known right in the moment of riding that control and power, and that was why he understood Dean wanted his soul restored.

Considering waking Dean, or allowing him to take care of this himself, Sam noticed his brother had begun to shake slightly and knew shock was setting in more deeply. He eased Dean to his side long enough that he could carefully work the rings off his balls and heard another low moan of pain.

Deciding to finish cleaning Dean off, Sam wiped a clean rag over his back, down over his ass, before using one finger to wipe down the crease of his ass gently. Sam hesitated before inserting a fingertip just up inside Dean’s ass as if to check for damage both from his cock but also from the dildos today used on the saddle machine and the fucking machine.

Sam was quick to put a hand on a tensing shoulder, keeping Dean still when he felt him start to jerk in his sleep. “I’m not hurting you, Dean,” he told his brother quietly, sighing. “Anymore.”

The low sounds of pain and need could now be heard as Sam finished dressing the welts on his brother’s back that were the result of him using a rattan cane against tender skin one time he’d felt his brother needed to be punished for resisting a game.

“Dean?” Sam moved around from where he’d been sitting behind his brother to sit beside him. He noticed rapid, uneasy movement under closed lids that told him Dean’s mind was active in his sleep and had a hunch about what his brother might be dreaming about. “Dean, I need you to wake up enough to answer a question for me,” he said, laying a hand on Dean’s face and rubbing it until he heard a mumble but saw slight green from under long lashes. 

“You awake for a second?” he asked, hearing another confused mumble while also seeing his brother’s body start to tense. “No. Dean, listen to me. Nothing’s happening to you. I’m not hurting you. I need to ask you if you can wake up enough to jerk off, or if you want me to help you come,” Sam had serious doubts if Dean would allow that or even if his brother was alert enough to understand the question. However, now that Sam was seeing how red, how badly engorged Dean’s cock looked, as well as his balls, he was worried about waiting longer.

Dean wasn’t awake. His mind and body were floating in a world of pain and shock. He’d been dreaming of better times before his little brother was a soulless prick with no way to tell right from wrong, when those dreams began to turn darker. Dean’s mind was flashing back to recent days when he thought he could feel hands on him, could hear Sam’s voice muttering to himself, but chose not to wake up until he heard his name called.

Sam’s question about helping him to jerk off was almost a joke to Dean at this point, but he couldn’t wake up enough to give a proper answer. The pain in his cock and balls was now so bad that if Dean could, he knew he’d be curling up. He hated the thought of his own hand touching him, much less this Sam, but thought he heard himself make a sound that was part moan and part pleading for relief before that dark void pulled him back under.

“Sshh. It’s okay. I’ll… take care of you,” Sam wasn’t sure why he chose those words, but they felt right. 

He figured Dean would come as soon as he removed the cock ring that now looked to be almost embedded in the soft flesh of Dean’s cock. “Damn it,” Sam whispered, working carefully to unhook the cock ring without causing Dean more pain, although he didn’t really think that would be possible.

Finally getting the ring off, it shocked Sam that Dean didn’t orgasm the second it was off, but then he thought why that might be. “Dean? I’m going just to touch you enough for you to come. You can come, okay? No more games. No more toys. You’re free to climax when you want or…” Sam had stroked a finger down Dean’s cock slowly while he’d been speaking, and the moment he said that his brother’s body was free to come, he saw Dean tense, felt him jerk only moments before his body orgasmed.

Sam bit his lower lip as he watched Dean’s face while Sam carefully stroked his hand up and down his brother’s cock, trying to milk this orgasm for as much as he could, as much as he now knew Dean deserved after so long of being denied.

Since Dean’s cock was already sensitive to touch, it was hard to stroke it for as long as Sam would have wanted, but when his brother’s soft moans turned more painful, he let his hand drop away.

Sam knew that once Dean was stronger, he would be able to do more. For that moment, Sam wiped his brother off again before finding a pair of soft sleep pants in Dean’s duffel to slip his brother into. He didn’t bother with boxer briefs for now, as he feared they might be too rough on his sensitive skin.

Debating on putting a t-shirt on his brother after seeing him shivering, Sam eyed the irritated skin of his upper chest. He could see the outline of where the prosthesis had been attached. Sam knew the outline would go away, but still inwardly cringed that he’d left it on, had hooked it too tightly, and then covered it so that his brother’s skin showed irritation from it.

Sam discarded the t-shirt but pulled a blanket up to be sure Dean would be covered. Only once he was certain his brother was sleeping did Sam step into the bathroom to shower. He dressed and then sat in silence, merely watching Dean sleep while trying to decide what to do next.

The hunter knew his brother needed food and water. Sam also knew Dean needed to wake up somewhere, anywhere that was not in this place where his last five days had been hell. Knowing this, Sam blew out a breath but reached for his phone to punch in a number hesitantly. “Bobby? It’s… Sam,” he said, smiling tightly when the gruff voice on the other end of the phone went immediately to caution. “I was wondering if we could stop by?” he asked, glancing over again at Dean before considering what to say to the litany of questions.

“No, we haven’t been on a hunt. We’re actually at some rundown house outside of Sioux Falls and have been for five days,” Sam paused to allow Bobby Singer to take this in before going on. “Dean… Dean’s sleeping, Bobby. But he needs to wake up someplace not here and… he’s going to be sick when he does wake up because he hasn’t really eaten or drank anything in a few days and…”

The sharp, gruff voice shouting in his ear wasn’t a shock to Sam. He’d been expecting it. Hell, he expected far worse once he took them to the junkyard, but it was a price Sam figured he’d pay now in exchange for what Dean had just given him.

“Yeah. No. Dean… Dean can explain it. I will, but you can get his side too,” Sam sighed, suddenly tired, which was surprising since he didn’t really feel exhausted these days. “Thanks. We’ll be there soon,” he added, disconnecting the call while packing their stuff up to load into the Impala before going back up to carry Dean down to lay him in the back seat, keeping a blanket over him.

Sam eyed the old house. It was abandoned, with no owner in sight. He’d checked before he’d taken it over. It was far enough away that his plan to burn it to the ground wouldn’t damage other houses. It would ensure that everything used during this would also burn, as he’d made sure to pour gasoline over everything toy or device used.

Once the house was burning, Sam drove away and towards Singer Salvage, where he knew Dean would be okay to wake up, and he’d take whatever fallout his brother wanted to dish out for their deal.

Sometime Later:

As alertness began to return, the first thing Dean Winchester knew was that once again, he wasn’t waking up where he’d been. The smells were familiar; the sense of the room he was in felt familiar, even before he slowly forced his eyes open with a groan as light from a window hit him.

Glancing around, the hunter frowned as he recognized the bedroom upstairs of Bobby’s house that he and Sam had always used when they stayed here. “What… the hell?” he managed to mumble between split, dry lips, and a mouth that felt like something had crawled in it and died.

“Yeah. That’s what I’ve been wanting to know for the last two goddamn days.”

Dean groaned more this time as the deep, gruff voice that spoke from the door seemed to echo in his head. “Indoor voice,” he muttered, moving his head slowly so it didn’t pound off his shoulders, before noticing an IV hooked to his arm and began to tense. “Wha…”

“Nutrients, since the one thing the idjit downstairs did say was that you needed food and water since it’s been a while,” Bobby replied, stepping into the room after he’d been pacing the hall rather than going downstairs and doing what he’d considered doing the moment the Winchesters arrived. He pulled the tale of deals and kinky crap out of a grim-faced Sam. “Do you feel like telling me what in the goddamn fucking hell you thought you were doing by making any type of deal with that version of Sam?” he demanded. “Tell me your version before I go put a load of buckshot in his ass or I actually do what he told me to do and I lock the goddamn door to the panic room.”

It took Dean several minutes to gather his thoughts. He wasn’t sure what to think about them being at Bobby’s. Then he heard what the older hunter was saying, and looking up, he was shocked more that Sam would actually tell the man the truth about how Dean had gotten his injuries or what they’d been doing.

“He… told you?” Dean asked warily, pushing up to his elbows only to fall back with a groan. “How’d we get here or…”

“Yeah, he told me,” Bobby confirmed, leaning on the dresser to watch Dean with sharp eyes. “Remember, this boy has no filter, Dean. He also will, at times, be honest. A little too honest at times since I didn’t need to know you agreed to some goddamn BDSM sex deal with him.”

“I wasn’t aware of all the small print, Bobby,” Dean muttered, managing to sit up the next time he tried, and looking to see if his chest appeared red. He was happy to see it was his chest. His body felt like a worn dishrag or like he’d been tossed around by a pissed off monster. He had brief, foggy memories of what had happened before he passed out, but the rest was a blank to Dean.

He thought he recalled hearing Sam speaking to him about helping him jerk off, but he wasn’t sure. Dean could tell his body had been given some relief, even though he also could feel his cock was sore and still a little enlarged.  He didn’t have the strength to touch it yet.

Right that second, he needed the answer to one question. “Where’s Sam?”

Bobby looked like he wanted to explode with questions or get answers from Dean, but sighed after another second. “After he carried you up here and told me what he did about that stupid deal, he went down to the basement,” he replied, seeing tired green eyes shoot to him. “He told me to shut and lock the door, Dean. He said that would be the best place for him until you got his soul back. “What the hell were you thinking, boy?” he demanded again. 

“I was thinking about getting his soul back and not having to battle him to put it in,” Dean replied, struggling to stand and waving Bobby off when the man went to grab him. “Don’t touch me,” he said in a strained voice, fighting the instinctive urge to jerk at even the thought of having anyone touch him right then. “I’m… I agreed to the deal, Bobby. I knew whatever he’d want wouldn’t be vanilla. Hell, Sam and I don’t always…”

“Hey! I said I’d turn a blind eye to what you two idjits do, but I don’t need the details, Dean!” Bobby interrupted, shaking his head. “I know you want the boy back how he should be, Dean, but you took one helluva risk,” he said, going on while trying to follow to be sure the elder Winchester didn’t fall down the steps. “You took a risk, and I’m not sure you came out of it too well.”

Dean smirked. He figured Sam hadn’t told Bobby everything. If he had, then the grizzled, older hunter would know that given everything he’d endured and been put through during the last five days, he'd actually come out of it reasonably well, considering what this side of Sam was capable of.

“Well, I’m alive, and I truthfully am shocked even to be that,” Dean remarked, inwardly shocked. Not only had Sam kept his promise to let him go, it seemed like his brother must have cut their deal short unless Dean had lost track of the days. “Stay up here. I need to see him,” he said.

Bobby wanted to argue that Dean should wait until he’d had more sleep or eaten real food, but knew Dean wouldn't do that just by the hard set of his jaw. “You keep that door open, and if you need me, then you better shout,” he growled, turning toward the stove. “I’m making broth for you, and I’ll find something to feed him even if he’s been refusing to eat since getting here.”

Dean paused at the top of the basement stairs to take this in. He figured he might know what that was about, but let it go for now. Taking the wooden steps slowly, Dean used the time to try to clear his head a little more. He knew he should take more time, sleep longer, and take a long, hot shower before confronting his brother, but in his gut, Dean knew he needed to do this now.

A piece of him hated the Panic Room. It was where he’d been forced to lock his brother down a couple of times due to his addiction to demon blood. Dean had always hated to see Sam in this room. Even now, knowing this side of his brother probably didn’t care about those memories, it bothered Dean to see him inside it.

Dean had expected to find Sam sitting or lying on the single bunk in the room, or exercising like he tended to do when not doing anything else. As he stepped to the door, he was a little shocked and uneasy to find him sitting on the floor with his back against the far wall, his head resting on one knee. “Sam.”

Jerking his head up at the unexpected sound of Dean’s voice, Sam blinked before frowning, but quickly began to stand. “Dean. What… what’re you doing down here?” he asked, shocked that Bobby would allow his brother to come down here. 

“I could ask you that same question,” Dean returned, tone tight while keeping his eyes on Sam to notice a few things that intrigued him. “Other than giving him vivid nightmares by actually telling him what happened between us the last few days, Bobby also said you told him to shut and lock the door to the Panic Room,” he said, seeing a tight nod. “Why?”

Sam blinked, and Dean swore that was the closest to an actual, authentic expression of blank confusion on his face that he’d seen on him in months. “You know, I’d never allow him to lock you in here. So why would you tell him to? Though for that matter, why did you bring us here?” he asked, stepping into the room and sticking his tongue in his cheek when it looked like Sam moved away. “What happened, Sam?”

“Huh?” Sam shook his head, knowing he needed to answer Dean, but he was still a little surprised that his brother had come down here. He was also shocked when he mentioned not allowing him to be locked in the panic room. “You needed to wake somewhere else and needed help,” he replied to the one question; the one that seemed important.

Dean cocked his head to the side. “Why’d you stop it?” He wanted to know this. “What did I do wrong that made you call it early?”

Sam didn’t like having Dean in here with him. He might not still like being in this room, but he knew it was the safest place for him to be until his brother got his soul put back in. Now, though he blinked as if trying to grasp the question, he was frowning. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Dean,” he said, shocked that his brother might see it that way. “I stopped it because…”

“No. No. The deal we had was for one week, Sam,” Dean said, tone low but almost sounding upset, as if concerned that if Sam stopped the deal early, then he also wouldn’t honor it. “I didn’t let you put me through hell, do all of that shit, make me wear that… thing, for you to get bored and stop,” he went on, stepping closer to where Sam had stopped, but hesitated before reaching out to grab his shoulder. “I didn’t do this just for you to say you don’t have to honor that deal because it wasn’t…”

“Dean, stop. No,” Sam broke in, catching the wrist on his shoulder but making sure to keep his grip light because he knew Dean would see bruises and welts on his wrists from the cuffs he’d been kept in. “You did your part. You kept your part of our deal,” he told him, shaking his head with a dry laugh. “Hell, you did more than keep it. I’ll honor the deal. You earned that and more by letting me do what I did to you,” he sighed. “You can kick my ass once you’re stronger if you want.”

“Oh, I’m not saying that won’t happen,” Dean returned, eyeing his brother carefully for another moment. “What happened to make you stop, Sam?” he asked again, knowing something had happened when Sam dropped his head as if not wanting to look at him. “You were all gung-ho with being the Dom from Hell with me, so… what happened other than me passing out?”

Sam walked to the other side of the room, needing distance. “I have no ability to tell right and wrong, Dean,” he muttered, hearing a snort but ignoring that to go on, picking up a piece of metal on the table in the room. “My empathy skills suck,” another snort was heard, and this time Sam’s lips curved up. “I know I’m not telling you anything you don’t know.”

“Nope,” Dean said, leaning against the door when he felt his legs start to weaken. “That’s why I’m fighting so hard to fix you, to get your soul back, Sam,” he said, eyeing his brother. “I’m glad you finally see those things, but it still doesn’t tell me why you stopped your little sex games with…”

“I was going to end up killing you!” Sam shouted, whirling around with a rare glimpse of raw emotion on his face. “I was so deep into controlling you, into making you into… that, that I didn’t realize how far down the rabbit hole I’d gone, until I looked down when you were sucking me off that last time,” he told his surprised brother, noticing that Dean was leaning more against the doorframe and knowing he was weakening again.

“I saw for the first time how pale you were, how utterly spent you looked, and I just knew it was time to stop. Then, when I began to clean you off and realized how badly you were hurt. Between denying you any food, or giving you any release for your cock, to the welts from the cane, to the damage those machines did, and what I did, it hit that if I hadn’t stopped, you would have died.” Sam moved slowly closer, just lightly touching a shoulder that still felt tight from tension. “I… I never meant for it to go that far, Dean. I just planned to do it for a day or so, but I got lost in the power side of it. I wanted control. I wanted you out of the control you always have and…”

“Yeah, when I fix you, and if we ever do anything that’s not straight sex? I am so in control, Sam,” Dean told him, resting his head back on the door frame. “You have been watching the wrong kind of porn or going to the wrong clubs while you’ve been solo, it seems,” he muttered.

Sam raised an eyebrow, surprised. “You’d still want to…” he paused to consider his words, suddenly unsure what to say to this man who had put his life at risk again for him.

“Make love to you?” Dean asked, opening an eye that he’d closed when the basement had started to spin. “Sam, when I said I love you back there, I wasn’t just talking to the side of you that I’m fighting to get back. I was speaking to you too,” he said, hearing a sharp inhale, and knowing that was a surprise to the younger man. 

“Do I like you soulless? No. Do I trust you soulless? Hell, no. Will I be sleeping with one eye open from now until I get your soul back? Yes. But, you’re still my damn brother and I love you,” Dean told him, pushing away from the wall only to feel fingers grip his elbow when he almost fell. “I made the deal, Sam. True, I didn’t know everything involved, and maybe that was my fault for not pushing for details, but I know in the end, it wouldn’t have mattered. Getting your soul back inside of you without battling you was what was important to me,” he added, looking up to wary hazel eyes. “One thing though?”

Sam was still digesting all of that since he hadn’t been expecting Dean to reveal any of that. He wasn’t paying full attention, other than trying to make sure his brother didn’t fall. “Yeah?” he asked, looking up at Dean when suddenly he felt his face explode in pain as his head snapped back from a weak fist that struck him.

“This? What went on this time? How it happened? This is the only time you will ever pull that shit with me,” Dean growled, glaring as Sam wiped the blood from his mouth, but merely nodded instead of lashing back out like a piece of Dean wondered if he would. “Until I get that soul back inside, and you are back to being my puppy-eyed little brother, our motel rooms have two beds, and if you try to cross a line, much less try to jump me? I will hurt you,” he promised, stepping out of the Panic Room to glance back while a question still hung in the back of his mind. “Am I enough for you?”

Sam had been considering his reaction to any of what had just been said when that question hit and he frowned. “What? What do you mean?” he asked.

“I know when you’re you and we do things that I’m usually in control, even though there are times when you top, but…” Dean paused to bite his lower lip, something that he hadn’t ever considered suddenly bothering him. “Thinking about what you did, the whole fake boob thing, is that something that…” he sighed, moving a hand as if unsure of what he wanted to ask. “I guess what I want to know out of all of this, was it all a control thing, or am I not what you want anymore?”

“No!” Sam really was surprised with this question. He hadn’t thought Dean would think his kink game of forced-fem might lead his cocky, masculine brother to think that he wasn’t enough. Though after a second, Sam realigned his thoughts as his other self might and guessed he could see it. “Dean, I wanted control. I wanted to control you in a way that normally I never would, or that side of me never would,” he explained, seeing his brother frown as he moved a restless, uneasy hand up to his chest. He reached out to catch Dean’s hand, seeing Dean's eyes shoot to his, both in warning and wariness. “How I am now? Yeah, I fully admit, I’m into breasts and sex kinks. It seems to be the only way I can get off.”

“Huh,” Dean grunted, deciding once he was stronger that he was doubling down on the effort to get that soul back. “You are not helping me decide whether to start just booking two motel rooms on opposite ends of the damn building,” he remarked tightly, seeing Sam’s grin.

“I can only get off if I picture I’m with you, Dean,” Sam told him, shaking his head when he felt his brother tense. “The games I played? The stuff I did to you? It was supposed to be about control and…”

“Humiliating me,” Dean finished, frowning at Sam’s slight nod. “So noted,” he murmured, eyeing his brother closely. “But still, you stopped.”

“Yeah, because while I don’t have a soul, and while I did want control, to see you out of the control you keep, and to make you see yourself as something else, I also didn’t want you dead, Dean,” Sam replied, going on after a second. “I knew until you have my soul back that we won’t have sex, so this was my shot at it, and maybe I went too far…” he stopped at the raised eyebrows that got him. “OK, I did go too far,” he corrected, running his tongue over his teeth as he debated saying what was on his tongue. “At the risk of taking another punch? You did look pretty in lace.”

Dean had been turning towards the stairs, feeling his legs getting weaker and deciding it was time to put more conversation on the back burner. Then he heard that comment and stopped, one hand on the railing to glance back to see Sam smirking.

“You’re damn right I did,” Dean replied after a long second of thought, needing to see if he could still put this jackass off his game. He was inwardly pleased that he thought he had, as Sam’s eyes widened before smiling. “Your big brother can carry off a bit of flirty lace. I bet better than you could,” he went on, jerking his head up the steps. “Now, get your ass upstairs and eat food. Because when I pass out from puking up broth, your Sasquatch self can haul me upstairs.”

Sam hesitated on that, but as he watched Dean turn to meet his eyes with firm green ones, and he considered his earlier words, he guessed his brother had made his decision on where they stood. “Maybe you should eat broth in the bedroom,” he suggested, cautiously following Dean up the steps to be sure if he fell, he’d catch him. 

Dean didn’t think that was a bad idea, but he also didn’t think Bobby would be comfortable having Sam in the bedroom with him now that he knew what had happened with them. Slumping at the kitchen table, he felt his stomach grumble at the smell of the rich broth. He was relieved to see the older hunter shove a plate of food toward Sam with a growl for them both to eat.

Noticing that his hand shook when he lifted the spoon, Dean frowned. Still, he knew it would be a while before he regained his strength. “You know I am getting your soul back,” he murmured, glancing next to him to see Sam watching him.

Sam nodded. He still had doubts and fears, but he also knew, for Dean’s sake, that he had to have it back. He just silently hoped that regaining his soul and finding a way to put it back in wouldn’t cause them more trouble or pain for his brother.

The End