Archive of Our Own ^beta

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“I – I don’t think I can do it.” Kathryn was pacing her ready room.
They were about to dock in the Alpha Quadrant and were expected to leave the ship for initial medical scans.

“I can’t leave Voyager. What are they gonna do to my crew? How am I supposed to protect them once we’re all across the galaxy? Who knows what they’ll do to you?”

“Kathryn!” he positioned himself in front of her.
“Kathryn, please listen to me. It’s going to be fine. Just take my hand, we can do it together. I will always stay by your side.”

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Her alarm wakes her, and she is ready to tackle the day. Just as she opens her eyes, the smell of coffee is wafting into the room.
Attributing this to wishful thinking and a short night, she sits up, eager to prepare the hot beverage she just dreamed about.

She feels herself being pulled back to the mattress, a strong arm keeping her warm.

“Good morning” he whispers into her ear. “Coffee is ready whenever we are”

Waking up like this feels a little unusual, it’s new. But it feels 100% right.
This step in their relationship was long overdue.

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The fresh coffee that greeted her in her replicator without ordering it was a surprise.

The small bouquet of peace roses on her ready-room desk was beautiful.

The anonymous invitation to lunch on Holodeck 2 was intriguing.

And the sight that greeted her was spectacular. He had programmed the hills of New Earth, overlooking their small cabin.

He snuck up behind her and circled his arms around her.
“Hello there.” She turned her head to give him a kiss.
“What did I do to deserve all this?”
“I don’t need a reason to spoil the woman I love, do I?”

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She was shivering. Not because of failing climate controls. It was an inner coldness that had settled inside of her. All thanks to the Borg.

The only thing that seemed to work was him and his strong arms. Well, full-body contact was the best but during the day his arms were enough.

She sighed. The cold made it hard to concentrate on the PADD in front of her.
“Commander Chakotay, please report to my ready room.”

Not ten seconds later, the doors opened.

“Can you hold me?” was all she needed to say for his arms to wrap around her.

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Kathryn sighed.

She already knew he would be disappointed. ´Rightfully so`, she thought. But she knew there was no way out of this situation but to go through it, so she stepped into the room.

He saw her, put his hands on his hips and said: “Dad said you can’t read me a bedtime story!”

“I’m sorry Tade. Mommy’s caught up in work.”

“But you promised!” the face he made looked like an (adorable) copy of a certain captain’s stare.

Chakotay knelt beside them. “Stay here, I can handle the situation in Engineering.”

Oh, how lost she’d be without him.

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“Oh, come on. Do we still have to do this?” Chakotay got out of bed with a sigh.

“I know this is annoying, but we just need to make it to Saturday.”

“Yeah, I know. Still feels weird to sneak around like that.”

“And I love you even more for keeping up with it.”

The smile she sent his way washed all his annoyance away. Saturday was only 4 more days.
He fetched a fresh uniform from the closet, got dressed and kissed her goodbye.

He knew that Kathryn really wanted to win Tom’s pool, so he happily played along.

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I know what you’re doing, Kathryn. You’re blaming yourself – again. You’re shutting us out. Your crew, your friends. Me. Everyone.

You want to isolate yourself. You want to wallow in self-pity and guilt.

But I’m not letting that happen. You’re not making it easy, but I remember my promise. I will stay by your side, and I will support you. Through this and any other challenge.

You’ve cancelled our dinner plans, thinking I would give up but you’ll have to try harder than this.

I’ll be right by your side to love and support you – please let me.

Love, C.

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„Captain, I know it sounds impossible for you. But I promise you it‘s quite simple from where I look at it.“

„B‘Elana we‘re not talking about a simple warp core issue.“

B‘Elana sighed. Why did her friends have to be so stubborn?

„Listen, everybody knows that you two are in love with each other. Starfleet can stick their rules wherever they like but you two need to act. For both of your sakes AND the sake of the crew.“

Kathryn looked at her friend with wide-eyes „ok“ was all she could say.

„He‘s right there, I‘ll leave you to it.“