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Chapter Text

“Today’s been boring at school. Nobody really cared about anything.”

A slight shuffle came in response. His eyes glanced over at the cardboard shield over Craig’s head. For the past week, his boyfriend had worn it. Talking seemed futile. Nothing ever reached Craig’s ears, no matter how much Tweek wished they did. The sudden devotion to the Buddha Box was striking in a way Tweek didn’t expect. His relationship with Craig was always something fragile. 

They had taken to dating to silence the angst that rolled in after their attempted breakup. It had been several months since then. Tweek liked to think they had gotten close. After all, they were the only two people to know what it felt like to be in their position. Holding hands seemed to keep everyone happy. It had started to make Tweek happy, too. For a while, he thought it made Craig happy, but now he wasn’t so sure. 

“My parents said I can add my cupcakes to the menu. If they do well, I can make cake pops for the holiday season.”

Again, his attempt at talking went unanswered as Craig’s attention was taken by his phone. Tweek exhaled slightly. Trying to imagine an ideal response only left him sad still. 

“Gee, honey, that’s nice. You should make aliens for Halloween,” he tried. A bitter huff escaped his lips before he continued.

 “Alien cakepops? That sounds hard,” Tweek’s normal voice came with slight worry. 

“You can do it. Just find a recipe,” he imitated Craig again. 

“You really think so?” 

“Yeah, honey. I think you can do anything.”

“Craig, that’s so sweet. That makes me feel better.”

“Good. I’ll always be there for you. I can’t wait to be your taste tester.”

“It sounds like you only plan to be there to get free cakepops.”

“What? Of course not,” he made a faux offense in Craig’s voice. “I want to be there because I like being there for you. I love-”

“You what?” he shyly pulled his knees to his chest. 

“I love you,” the caution came.

“I…love you too,” his normal voice quivered. “I do. I wish that mattered,” he buried his face in his knees.

Crying wasn’t usually Tweek’s forte. A soft whimper was muffled by the thick of his jeans. If it weren’t for the fact that he was supposed to be doing homework, he’d have called his mom to get him from Craig’s house. He wasn’t even sure why he still came over. It wasn’t like he and Craig hung out anymore. Sitting beside the Buddha Box housed boy for a few hours was all he’d been doing after school the past week. Working at the coffee shop was becoming more appealing. He’d take following his dad around over being ignored. 

The next day, he did. 

Richard was always glad to see his son taking an interest in the family business. There was an air to Tweek, however, that the philosophical father couldn’t ignore. Despite Tweek’s feelings, his parents weren’t so ignorant of his emotions. How they handled them just may not have always been what the young boy wanted. 

“Here, son. Made your favorite blend,” Richard presented the fresh cup of coffee of the house Tweekers blend. While most of the blends may have featured something special to keep their customers interested, the Tweekers blend was special. It was pure and kept that way just for the heir to the Tweek Bros. business. Caffeine alone was enough to make the ADD-diagnosed child antsy. His parents didn’t think he needed anything else. 

“Thanks,” Tweek muttered. Rather than drinking it happily, he only eyed the cup on the counter. Steam escaped through the top outlet. Richard watched his son mindlessly gaze somewhere beyond the coffee. When his wife emerged from the kitchen, the two gave each other a knowing look. 

“Pumpkin, want to help me in the kitchen?” his mother asked. “You can show Mommy your new cupcake recipe.”

“No,” the distant answer was quiet. 

“Are you hungry, son? You can have something from the case,” Richard offered. Denial came in the form of a headshake. The married couple again looked at each other. Something was wrong in their son’s world, and if they had to guess, it was linked to the lack of boyfriend. “Is there something you want to talk about, Tweek? You know, your mother and I are here if you need anything.”

A disgruntled furrow of the brow took Tweek’s face. Glaring at the coffee cup was reflexive. He didn’t want to confide in his parents. Their help wasn’t often helpful. Given his agitation, he could do without an unneeded story or hearing his father’s droning while his mother only nodded along. God, what did she see in him? Tweek had to wonder. His mother always seemed happy to hear his dad talk about absolutely nothing. He couldn’t imagine why.

With his rejection of talking, his parents quietly fluttered back into working. Things had been slow for the remainder of the day. A few customers floated in and out until it was time for closing. Tweek took care to sweep while his father counted out the register. His mother hummed while she boxed up the leftover pastries to donate to the church. A tax deduction was always nice. She was sure to leave the last slice of lemon cake out for Tweek. Hopefully, spoiling his dinner would make him feel better. If not, she still planned to make his favorite for dinner.

“Closing time,” Richard finally declared. Saying nothing, Tweek left to return the broom and his apron to the kitchen. “He’s really upset, isn’t he?”

“Poor dear didn’t even finish his coffee. Do you think he and Craig had a fight?”

“Let’s hope not. I didn’t plan on giving him the talk on heartbreak until he was older.”

“Well, I think we should let him sleep in our room just in case tonight. He should know he isn’t alone.” 

Before Richard could respond, the sad boy returned carrying his bookbag. Maybe he could help Tweek with his homework tonight. What was it fourth graders learned these days? The older man tried to think as he locked the store’s front door. His wife blew kisses to their son while she carried the case of pastries to the car. Tweek seemed oblivious as he stared off at the sidewalk. Kicking at the ground in front of the shop was more interesting than parental affection. 

Exhaling, Richard activated the alarm before reaching for his distracted son’s hand. Even if the car was directly in front of the shop, he didn’t trust Tweek not to wander in this state. Tweek didn’t fight him. Instead, he only let himself be led to the car. His mother was already waiting in the passenger seat. Faintly, he listened as his parents talked about dropping the donation to the church before going home. He couldn’t quite care about it. 

He couldn’t quite care about anything. 

Seeing so, Richard began buckling his son in. The attentive nature stoked a desire to rebel. Tweek didn’t want to be pitied. Fighting his father and his seatbelt of protection became Tweek’s new mission. Ignoring his mother’s calls to be reasonable was added to his agenda. In their tussle for security, the Tweaks failed to realize a car pulling into the shop’s parking lot. 

“Hope we’re not interrupting anything,” Thomas’s voice came. 

“God, I hope so,” Richard gritted his teeth, still struggling with his son. 

“Tweek’s not feeling well tonight,” the boy’s mother hummed. “Just trying to get home for the night. He’ll feel much better with dinner. We were going to have his favorite,” she tried to bribe subtly. The fussy fourth grader only groaned as he tried to headbutt his father. 

“Well, we’re glad we caught you before you made it home. Craig wanted to make dessert for Tweek.” Laura motioned for her son to get out of the car. 

“That’s quite thoughtful of you,” Helen smiled at her son’s boyfriend. He only glanced at her slightly before climbing out, carrying the small box. 

“Look, Tweek, Craig’s here. Isn’t that nice?” Richard breathed, still trying to buckle him in.

“No!” 

“Tweek-”

“It’s okay,” the nasally monotone came from Craig. His eyes shifted low to the box in his hand. Hearing his voice for the first time in days snapped Tweek from his fit of refusal. Wide olive eyes looked at the foreign calmness he’d been denied for a week. 

Panting, Tweek forced himself to recover. “What do you want?” he didn’t hide the upset in his voice. Hearing it only made Craig feel worse. Seeing as he had no time to dwell on that, he chose to continue with his apology. 

“I wanted to give you these,” he presented the box. 

“What are they?” Tweek twitched angrily. 

Rather than answer, Craig only opened the box. Inside were poorly shaped cake pops. From what Tweek gathered from the running blue and green dyes, there were supposed to be…aliens? Raising a brow, Tweek only looked from the collection of cake pops to the noriette. Realization slowly crept into his mind. He released a stressed shriek, prompting his parents to jump worriedly. 

“Tweek, what’s wrong, son?” Richard tried to hold him. Tweek took to trying to crawl to the other side of the car. Curse the church donation box blocking his way. Craig watched his boyfriend attempt to push his father out of the car, crying that they needed to go home urgently. 

“Can you at least take these? I worked hard on them,” Craig asked dully. 

“Why should I? You’re just making fun of me!” Tweek argued. 

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are! Why else would you make those exact cake pops? You heard me and are making these to get back at me!”

“Why would I need to get back at you?”

“Because I-’

“I made these because I love you too.”

The monotone declaration lay openly between the adults and the stunned Tweek. 

“Gay,” Tricia broke the silence from the backseat. 

“Tricia,” her mother hissed. 

“You-”

“I heard you yesterday. My phone died, and I heard you,” Craig blushed as he averted his gaze. “I’m sorry I ignored you so much. It won’t happen again.”

“Craig,” Tweek whimpered. His cheeks hurt from the buzzing blush that had taken over far too quickly. 

Swiftly, Craig kissed Tweek’s cheek and slipped the box on the boy’s lap before running back to his parents’ car. Seeing his son still stunned from the confession, Richard was able to buckle the boy in safely. With Tweek now secure, Richard joined his wife in the front seat. 

“Well, that takes care of that. I’m glad you all came over,” Helen chuckled softly. 

“Glad we caught you,” Laura waved. 

The two families parted ways shortly after. The adults would talk about the too-cute confession amongst themselves. As far as any of them knew, this was the first time the sentiment of love had been thrown out between the young couple. They were glad they got to witness it. 

Tweek continued staring at the box with reddened cheeks. Realization that he had to eat the strange cake pops replaced his shock over Craig’s confession. Suddenly, he realized why his mother listened to his father drone on so often. 

When you loved someone, you did little things to make them happy. If Craig could make the effort to show his support in Tweek’s baking ventures, the least Tweek could do was show his appreciation for it. He’d just need a lot of milk and willpower to do it. 

Chapter Text

It was curious. The shy man only showed himself at night. The only cafe in town was the extent of his ventures. Craig mustered enough care to follow him one night. He was sure it’d make for a good story once his crew hit the waters again. They docked in this odd town in the middle of the ocean to gather supplies. Because the women heard of a festival, they’d be staying longer than they usually would. 

And so, on the fourth night of seeing the cloaked man skittishly leave the cafe with a large sack of coffee grounds, Craig quietly took after him. The young man carried the coffee grounds with ease; he must’ve done it a lot. Once he was in the lighthouse, just on the edge of the furthest end of the beach, he didn’t emerge again. Craig crept up to the dimly lit lighthouse. A window near the back of the structure provided him a glimpse inside. 

There, the cloak had fallen from the frame of the gorgeous blonde. Craig had never seen such a beauty in his twenty-five years of life. The blonde man had eyes of fresh olives and skin so unblemished it was hard to imagine he knew an ounce of strife in his entire life. He seemed timid, even in his lonesome being. Craig could only marvel at the quick-moving blonde. Everything he did, his hands shook slightly. It made Craig wonder if he was frightened by something. Only the coffee seemed to calm him. Once his shake had settled, sadness took hold of him. So badly did Craig want to soothe the worries from the doll-like face. 

Being struck by love for the blonde, he became determined to. 

The following night came too slowly for Craig. With the festival happening at the end of the month, he was on borrowed time to find out more of the curious beauty. Since the blonde was always in and out of the cafe with no intentions of stopping in town, Craig knew he’d be better caught on the way to the lighthouse. The path to the lighthouse was unsuspecting. Preparing to play the role of a lost traveler, Craig lingered near the middle of the path. Right on time, the timid stranger trekked by. 

“Excuse me, sir. Might I trouble you for some help? I’ve seemed to have lost my way,” Craig attempted. A startled gasp came from the blonde who sped his walk around him. Craig, stunned by the aversion, cleared his throat as he began following. “Please, I mean you no harm. I just need to find my way back to town.”

“Ah, it’s that way!” the cry was thrown over the cloaked shoulder. 

“What?” Craig raised a brow. He was still quick on the man’s trail. 

“The other way! The other way! Just go the other way!” 

“Please, slow down. I don’t understand you.”

A panicked cry escaped the blonde who sped his pace. Before either of them knew it, they were in a run. Craig was insistent on catching up to the blonde. The stranger only wanted to get inside his lighthouse. Gods, why was this man so intent on badgering him? His parents always warned him to be cautious of men. This one was only proving their point. 

“Sir, please. I only ask for a guide back to town.” Craig pleaded from outside the lighthouse. 

“No, you’ll take me and sell me into slavery!” The man refused from the inside of his home. 

“What? I wouldn’t dare do such a thing.”

“You’re lying!”

“I promise you, I am not. Grant me but a moment to prove it.”

“How can you prove such a thing? Lies spill easily from the lips of a sailor.”

“So does the truth. I am a man of my word. Should I ever lie to you, you have my sword to slay me where I stand,” Craig laid his blade before the door of the lighthouse. A moment of silence replaced the refusal of the blonde. Shuffling from inside was heard before the door opened slightly. 

“Hand me your blade.”

Without hesitation, Craig presented the blade to the delicate hand, demanding it. Quickly, the door slammed, locking once more. A furrowed brow rested on Craig’s face as he waited. Before long, the door opened to show the distrusting look of the blonde. 

“Come in,” he twitched slightly, letting Craig inside. Humbly, Craig joined him inside the lighthouse. Once there, he surveyed the place properly. Books were thrown about. Empty coffee sacks were piled near the kettle. A few blankets and pillows, as well as a single plant, were all that rested in the room. Just how had this beauty lived this way?

“Thank you for having me. I promise not to impose long.”

“Why do you seek to impose at all? I have told you how to get back to town.”

“At first, I found you curious, and now I find you beautiful. I wish to know you.”

“Know me? But why? There is nothing to know.”

“On the contrary, I think there is much.”

***

And much to know there was. Craig came to learn that the stranger was named Tweek, and he would be twenty-one when the first day of the festival came to be. He lived alone in the lighthouse and only went to town for coffee. According to him, he didn’t need anything else. When asked about food, Tweek insisted he was fine otherwise. When Craig inquired about only coming out at night, Tweek maintained that it was safest to avoid people. Why Tweek was so insistent on avoiding people was something Craig couldn’t make sense of. It wasn’t every day that people were sold into slavery, especially from these small, random islands throughout the vast ocean and seas. 

By the threat of morning light, Tweek urged Craig to leave. He wasn’t willing to tolerate company past daybreak. Tired, Craig complied with the promise that he’d visit once more. Tweek couldn’t deny him; his own curiosity with the man was taking hold. 

Nearly every night for the remainder of the month did Craig joined Tweek at the lighthouse. The two became quite fond of one another. Craig’s tales of his life as a traveler interested Tweek. He had only been in the town for his entire life. Learning about the world beyond the ocean surrounding his lighthouse was enchanting. 

“You know, you can come with me if you’d like,” Craig offered one night. 

“W-what?” Tweek asked quietly. 

“You can join me on my travels. I would love to have you by my side,” Craig gently held Tweek’s hand. 

“I-I cannot. I have to stay here. My parents-”

“They cannot control you. You are a man of age, are you not? Besides, I have not seen anyone with you at all. How can your parents be of concern?” 

Tweek looked thoughtful for a moment. It was fairly strange, he was sure. As fond as he was of Craig, it wasn’t like he could tell the man the truth.

Craig didn’t press any further. Sensing that Tweek may have been offended by his musings, he decided to leave the blonde for the evening. He’d make it up to Tweek the next night. Arriving early, he prepared to convince Tweek to join him on the beach for a picnic. Despite claiming the coffee was fine, Tweek always enjoyed the food Craig brought him. With a basket in hand, Craig approached the lighthouse. He witnessed Tweek at the top for the first time, speaking. There didn’t look to be anyone around, and yet, Tweek seemed completely immersed in conversation. 

Taking it upon himself to enter the lighthouse, Craig carefully ascended the steps to where Tweek was. 

“But please, I-I trust him. He has been kind to me. You have seen as much. Won’t you talk to Father?”

Craig’s brow furrowed as he continued listening. He heard nobody speak to Tweek before the blonde continued. 

“Father has been stern with me. He says I won’t be allowed to the festival if I continue. Mother please. Even the ships for the town have been suffering from his wrath. I don’t know what the harm is.”

More silence before Tweek whimpered. 

“Please, all I ask is to be truthful with the man. I am coming to love him. He deserves my truth if he cannot have my heart. Speak to Father, please, my mother.”

Craig swallowed. He feared he may have become infatuated with a madman. Sure, he had heard reports that the waters were growing angry and it was becoming harder for exports and imports, but he didn’t know what that had to do with Tweek. 

“My mother, please…Yes, I understand,” Tweek wiped his tears. “I love you, as well.”

Quickly, Craig returned to the main level of the lighthouse. Awkwardly, he waited for Tweek to descend. Upon seeing him, Tweek looked shocked. 

“C-Craig, you are early this night. What has brought you here before the moon is high above the waves?”

“I came to ask you to dinner,” Craig spoke stiffly. 

“Dinner?”

A nervous hum came from the sailor. Still fearing he was in the presence of a madman, he decided to play along until he could leave. Then he would trouble Tweek no longer. With equal caution, Tweek joined him on the beach for a late meal. The ocean waves were dark and rolling. As the two ate quietly, a storm began to roar. Tweek didn’t seem moved by the sudden overtake. Something about it made Craig feel unnerved. 

Before Craig knew it, he was lying beside Tweek. Outside, the storm continued violently. Craig listened to Tweek cry softly. It was a heartbreaking sound that lulled him to sleep. When he awoke, Tweek was not there. Curiosity replaced Craig’s fear. When his calls for Tweek went unanswered, he decided he could stand to look through the lighthouse properly. Working his way from the top down, he explored Tweek’s home. The place was still vacant of its master. Finding odds and ends from what Craig only assumed came from the ocean moderately interested Craig. 

Shells, starfish, and corals. They were quite lovely. Craig wondered if Tweek actually worked with the fishermen. That’d explain why he had such treasures. When he found himself at liberty to make coffee, he decided to humor himself by counting the stack of empty coffee ground sacks. His counting led him to uncover a hatch door. The adventurous spirit took charge of the sailor. Opening the hatch, he found a ladder leading to a place beneath the lighthouse. 

Craig found the cove to be beautiful. It let out just behind the isolated lighthouse. A more direct contact with the ocean was there. Something about it told him not to get too close to the water, however. The waves were still angry, although not as bad as before. Having been a sailor for nearly ten years, Craig was familiar with the different temperaments of the waves. The ones surrounding this odd town were different. Perhaps he could stand to ask Tweek about what he’d heard. 

“I’m going mad,” he thought to himself. 

Retreating from the cove was easy enough. When he returned to the lighthouse, Tweek still wasn’t there. Not willing to let the mystery go unsolved, Craig prepared to uncover the secrets of Tweek and his lighthouse. 

***

Tweek’s birthday had finally arrived. Craig told his crew that he’d be busy, although they never doubted that. For the past month, he had been. They didn’t know he had fallen in love with a mystery man, but it wasn’t like they cared much. After the festival, they’d be taking their leave. If they could, that was. The waters had been far too harsh for sailing. For nearly two weeks, no shipments made it in or out safely of the town. That saddened Tweek.

His begging and pleading did little to sway the powers that be. Upon his birthday, he decided to take a stand against it. His father could rage all he wanted to. It wasn’t fair to the townspeople, nor was it fair to Craig. Tweek knew he had to do something. When he took to his lighthouse early, he hadn’t expected to find Craig already there. Crawling through the floorboard should’ve embarrassed him. Instead, he was more concerned as to why Craig didn’t seem shocked.

“So you do come from the cove somewhere,” Craig smirked. 

“I suppose,” Tweek fixed the coffee sacks back. “Have you been waiting to catch me?”

“Aye. Perhaps you can tell me where you go in the daytime.”

“Home,” Tweek breathed. 

“Home?” 

Tweek merely nodded. “Sit with me,” he asked quietly.

“After we celebrate. It is your twenty-first birthday after all,” Craig presented a small cake and a fresh pot of coffee. A flush took Tweek’s cheeks as he joined the sailor for the celebratory meal. His mission for the night lingered in the back of his mind. Pushing past the threat of tears was hard, but he endured. Craig seemed all too happy to be with him now. Tweek wanted to remember him that way. 

***

Tweek’s lips were the softest Craig had ever known. They invited him in readily, hungrily. Something about Tweek seemed different that night. Craig liked to think the blonde was feeling good for his birthday. He was more than willing to indulge him. 

Carefully, he removed Tweek’s clothing. The younger man was shy and hesitant. Craig was sure to treat him with care. The more he uncovered Tweek, the more he wanted to know him. Tweek’s skin was soft. It nearly glowed brightly under the moonlight. Perhaps Craig had overindulged in the bitter coffee. He could’ve sworn Tweek’s hair was brighter than before. Craig’s hands couldn’t depart from the delicate wave of blonde. Tweek didn’t want them to. It was a sensation he’d never known and likely never would again. 

Craig was a once-in-a-lifetime affair. 

Indulging in a fantasy he hadn’t known he had tormented him. When he lay upon Craig’s chest after, Tweek could hardly believe what he’d done. He had felt love in a way he’d only read about. Craig was so tender, so thoughtful. He wanted to be with the sailor always, but he could not. Tonight was the last he’d ever see of Craig. With that in mind, he turned his gaze to the warm smile of his companion. 

“Are your friends at the festival still?”

“I suppose they are. Do you wish to join them? They’d love to meet you.”

“No…” Tweek said gently. It was a nice thought, but things didn’t need to grow more complicated. “You remember the reason for the festival, yes?”

“To celebrate the marriage of the moon and ocean.”

“Do you know the whole story?”

“No, but I feel as if you’ll tell me,” Craig chuckled. Tweek met him with a fragile smile as he moved to lie beside him rather than on him. 

“Over a thousand years ago, when the king of the ocean was but a prince, he found this island. It was young and just barely forming- a gift from his father, the earth. It was there that he encountered a woman of moonlight. She was just as young as he, just as new. They fell in love. Every night, she walked the shores of the beach to meet the prince. Their love was raw, unpredictable. The earth told the prince that the woman of moonlight could be his bride should he choose her. He did without question. Despite not being able to live together, the two were happily married for centuries.”

“And the festival celebrates that.”

“Mmm. Every year, I witness how the locals praise the love between them. It’s quite endearing.”

“I’m sure. Tell me, are the moon and ocean still happily married?”

“They are. In fact, they decided to start their family recently.”

“Oh?”

“After centuries of wedded bliss together, they decided a child would be born. Twenty-one years ago, the moon gifted the ocean their first and only child. A son born with hair of bright moonlight. The prince lived by day in the ocean with his father and by night walked the beach to see his mother clearly at night.”

“Am I to know you as the prince born of the moon and ocean?”

Tweek looked away. There was nothing so taunting in Craig’s voice. The man sounded rather curious, interested. Tweek decided that was fair. 

“My father did not want me to see you any longer…he and my mother have seen men kill each other for centuries. They feared for my safety. His anger at my disobedience has strained the people of this town. Each night I spent with you was another night of raging waters and storms. Not even my mother could convince him…”

“Surely I can convince him. I swear on my life I’d never-”

“Tonight is the last you will see of me, Craig. I can’t be selfish any longer.”

“What are you saying?” Craig sat up angrily. 

“I promised to never see you again in exchange for the waters to calm. My father will soothe the ocean once more for the people of this town. I cannot let them suffer any more than they have. It isn’t right.”

“There has to be another way! If we love one another, there should be no reason for us to be apart!”

“This is the only way,” Tweek spoke mournfully. “You and your friends wouldn’t be able to leave this town. The crops will die. The storms will destroy everything. Please, it’s better for everyone this way.”

“Tweek…please.”

“May I have your necklace?”

“W-what?”

“I want something to remember you by.”

Without thinking, the sailor removed the simple chain from his neck. A pendant of pearl was all it carried. He would give Tweek anything if it meant he could be with him. Tweek admired the jewelry before quietly putting it on. 

“I’ll never take it off.”

“Tweek, I would give my life if it meant I could spend it with you.”

“Don’t speak such foolish words,” the blonde said. “It would make my gift useless.”

“Your gift?”

Tweek reached under the pillows for a dagger of silver and jasper. 

“I made this with my own blood. May the waves of the ocean protect you with my love, Craig Tucker. Carry this with you always.”

Craig was rendered speechless by Tweek’s kiss. The dagger was gently placed in his hands. Feeling the precious blade brought Craig to an emotional state. He was in disbelief. 

“Tweek-”

“Hold me until the morning. After that, you will see me no more.”

***

For seven days, Craig didn’t rise from bed. 

When the time came for Craig’s crew to depart, the man still hadn’t recovered from his illness. He was sorrowful. Eating and sleeping became secondary to his tears. His shipmates tried to treat the man, but alas. There was no cure for a broken heart.

Holding the dagger to his chest was the only sign the man was alive. He contemplated not being. Perhaps if he prayed to Tweek’s mother enough, she’d resurrect him as a part of the ocean to live with Tweek. Such thoughts were only fleeting, however. Craig could never go against Tweek’s wishes for him to have a good life. It was hard to imagine one without the blonde. 

“Craig, ready to go?” Tolkien’s voice came. 

“What if I die here?”

“You won’t. C’mon,” he began to pull Craig from bed. The man was stiff and clutched the dagger still. He could pity himself on the boat. They needed to leave while they could. The ocean had been calm for the past week, but given the volatile nature, who knew how much longer it would be? 

The sulking Craig was planted on the boat along with the rest of the stationary equipment. There should’ve been smooth sailing from the small town. That’d have been too much to ask for. 

By nightfall, the crew had managed to get quite a ways away. The further they got, the more Craig fell into despair. That had been the only problem until the ship suddenly came to a halt. 

“Clyde, why’d we stop?” Bebe asked. 

“I don’t know. We’re supposed to be moving onward,” the man grunted as he tried to steer. 

“I think something is wrong with the water,” Red swallowed harshly as she looked over the edge. Their ship was being held back by the waves, stagnant in motion. The rest of the ocean carried on, save for the slight elevation where their ship was. 

The rest of the crew grew panicked before a ray of light came to the ship. Craig’s sunken eyes grew wide as a woman appeared in front of him. She looked mature and elegant. Her eyes were the same brightness as Tweek’s. With a gentle smile, she motioned for him. Cautiously, he approached before bowing before her. 

“My lady of moonlight.”

“Rise, Craig Tucker. I have something to ask of you.”

“Yes, M’Lady.”

“For seven days and seven nights, you mourned after knowing Tweek. Do you love my son?”

“Yes. I love him more than anything in this world.”

“And would you protect him on your travels?”

“With my life. I would sooner die than allow harm to come to him.”

“And you’ll never harm him?”

“He’ll never know my fury or my force.”

“Then you may love him,” she raised her hand. With the gentle motion, a wave rose high from the ocean. A loud grumble washed around the ship as the young blonde was carefully placed onto the deck beside Craig. Teary-eyed, Tweek jumped into the arms of his beloved. 

“Care for my son. He is the finest pearl of the waves. Precious and sweet. Should harm come to him, you will die where you stand,” a strong voice greeted Craig. He could only know it as the king of the ocean himself. 

“You have my word,” he recovered quickly and bowed. 

Silently, the crew watched as their newest member parted ways with his parents. The local legends were true. A son was born unto the moon and ocean. Somehow, their shipmate came to love him and be loved in return. Once the blonde was left alone, he quickly took to Craig again. 

“You truly love me,” he wept. 

“Of course,” Craig held him. “And I always will.”

Chapter Text

“Honey, have you seen my-”

“It’s on the dresser.”

“Thank you.”

Tweek only hummed lowly in response. Mornings were usually easy. Routine helped keep them on schedule. It took a few years to perfect, but Tweek could confidently say they had it down to a science. That being said, he wondered why Craig always seemed to lose his work badge. For the past twenty years, Tweek made sure Craig’s work attire was all in one central place. Still, the veteran space cadet would ask where one item or another was. 

Maybe he just liked to bother Tweek. That wasn’t an unlikely reason. Craig enjoyed invading Tweek’s space. Sometimes it wasn’t physical. Verbally engaging his husband would be more than enough at times. Craig Tucker was thought to be a stoic man of few words. If only they knew he didn’t shut up when he was in the comfort of his own home. Tweek had long since been adapted to Craig’s conversation level. Smiling and nodding was often all Craig needed in return. It was more than doable for his antsy husband. 

“Don’t forget about today. Close early so we can get on the road on time,” Craig buzzed into the kitchen. Tweek glanced up from his cup of coffee. Working for the government made Craig see anything less than fifteen minutes early as being late. Not that Tweek was tardy by any means, but Craig could be anal about these things. He didn’t want them to come off as harsh or rigid. Today was important, and they needed to make a good impression.

 Being early would help. 

Being crucial to it wouldn’t. 

“I know. I’ll close an hour early and meet you back here. Then we’ll head to Denver,” Tweek said quietly. 

“I’ll drive there, and you can drive home. We can stop for dinner on the way back. Where do you think we’ll go?” 

“Not sure. I’m sure we’ll find a good place.”

“Tweek?”

“Hmm?” Olive eyes shifted up slightly. 

“Are you…Are you sure about this?” Craig sensed something was off with his husband. 

Tweek nodded slowly, “Yeah. Are you?”

“I am. You just seem, I don’t know, hesitant.”

“Mmm,” the hum came. Tweek’s eyes lowered to his coffee mug again. “I’m nervous. There’s a difference,” he clarified. 

“About what?”

“What if they don’t like us?”

“They liked us in the interview. That’s why we’re going back.”

“I know, but things can change. It’s been two months, Craig. Talking with the coordinators only does so much. They may just be telling us what we want to hear. You know how hard it is when it’s time for paperwork and moving and living and changing schedules and-”

“Tweek, honey, we’ll be okay. I don’t think they’d lie to us for two months, given the circumstances. We’ve spent a lot of time preparing, and we can do this. That’s why today we’re going back just to see if we’re still a good fit for them.”

“And that doesn’t scare you?” The twitch came. 

“It terrifies me,” Craig said honestly. “But that’s what makes this exciting. Now, if you think we should back out, we can. Just say the word. We can’t move forward unless we’re both on board.”

“I…” Tweek paused thoughtfully. They spent the past five years tossing this conversation back and forth. When they actually began the process, it became real very fast. Now they were nearing the final stages. There’d be no turning back if they signed their names today. “You think I can really do this?”

“Yes. I think you can do this and everything that comes with it.”

Everything that came with it. Hearing that made a ball drop in Tweek’s stomach. It made his heart race. There was so much coming, and it’d affect his life, their lives, forever. 

“Okay,” he nodded slowly. “Okay, I can do this. I’ll meet you here at one.”

Craig smiled brightly. 

“I’ll be here.”

***

It was good that Craig was driving on the way to Denver. Tweek was prone to pressing the gas a little too much when he was nervous. A large thermos of coffee joined them in the front seat. The two-hour drive to Denver felt like an eternity. When they finally arrived at the large state building, Tweek wished he had some of his time back. Oh, to be back on the road again for another five minutes would’ve meant the world to him. Too bad they had a meeting at 3:30 and Craig would simply die if they didn’t check in by 3:15. They had three minutes to get inside before Craig spontaneously combusted. 

“Ready, Honey?” Craig checked his shirt to make sure the collar was properly adjusted. 

“As I’ll ever be,” Tweek exhaled. Craig nodded, and the two exited the silver Camry. 

Tweek gazed up at the large glass doors. Inside awaited the decision that’d change his life. Taking a breath, he accepted Craig’s hand. Craig didn’t wince when he felt the familiar squeeze of his anxious husband. It was always a little tighter when Tweek was near a panic. Craig was always sure to do hand exercises to prepare for those moments. Giving Tweek a firm, reassuring squeeze helped derail his pending spiral. 

Once inside, Craig checked them in for their meeting. Tweek’s attention was drawn to the pointed sound of heels walking through the busy hallways. The building was alive in a way that made him grateful for his work at the coffee shop. It was always tame in the quiet mountain town. Craig, working for NASA, was used to the busy song of corporate buildings. The familiar melody didn’t bother him as they waited in the fifth floor waiting room. Beside him, Tweek’s leg bounced nervously. A kiss to the cheek was Craig’s way of comforting him. All Tweek could do was smile weakly in return. 

At exactly 3:35 PM, a woman called them. Her smile was warm and inviting. It was supposed to make Tweek feel better. Instead, it made him even more anxious, perhaps even a little guilty. This was supposed to be a good day. Instead, he wanted to run away as far as possible. 

“The boys are excited to see you two again,” she said fondly. 

“Really? We thought they’d have forgotten about us,” Craig tried to joke. 

“On the contrary, they were worried you’d forget about them.”

“Why?” Tweek stopped in his tracks. His heart was racing more than ever before. Curse his absurd coffee intake. It offered him no help in these times. 

“Well, as you know, they’ve interviewed with dozens of families in the past two years. You two are the only ones to show even the slightest interest in taking them both, let alone coming back for a third interview. Most people stop after the second.”

“That seems cruel,” Tweek grew flushed. 

The woman only nodded, a tender look on her face. “That’s why they were happy you two were still interested. They know it’s not promised, but they're just happy to have gotten this far. It gives them hope, you know?”

Craig only nodded, returning her knowing smile. Tweek’s face was unreadable. Hearing what these boys went through struck something in him, a bother. Suddenly, he felt defensive. He was quiet as the woman led them to where the boys were. 

Twins. Louis and Louie. Aged seven. They were surrendered by their single mother, who couldn’t handle their care. Louie had Down syndrome. Louis was diagnosed with high-functioning autism. Louis was often considered for adoption, but nobody had the heart to only take him. Louie was quiet and seemed nervous. The threat of a meltdown wasn’t something most people were willing to handle. Even if they thought they could, handling two young children who’d need special care was more than they wanted to take on. They remained as wards of the state together, available for adoption. They were always advised to be adopted together and interviewed as such, even if there was technically no law that they had to be kept together. Given how protective Louis was of his brother, the staff never dared to suggest a separation. If truth had to be told, it wasn’t Louie’s meltdowns that struck fear into caregivers, but that was a secret nobody would ever share with prospective parents. 

Why spoil the fun?

“Boys, we have guests today. Do you remember them?” the woman called their attention from their blocks. 

“It’s the space guy!” Louis cheered and ran to hug him. Craig never felt the butterflies he had as the boy held his leg. It was advised not to touch the children at all. God, did he want to take the little boy into his arms. 

“It’s so good to see you, Louis. How are you?” Craig tried as the boy went to grab his brother and show him to the guests. 

“Good! Louie is good, too. He can spell new words now!”

“Oh yeah? What words?” Craig smiled at the timid boy who turned away bashfully. 

“Cool ones!” Louis beamed. 

“I bet they are,” Craig maintained his warmth. Tweek only offered an awkward smile. The social worker ushered them to sit down. She encouraged Louis and Louie to sit across from the married couple. 

She helped conduct the interview to gauge how comfortable the boys were with the couple and vice versa. It wasn’t uncommon that Louis to shine brightly and hold the conversation. Louie offered little to no input and tried to escape back to the blocks. Oddly enough, Tweek understood his pain and didn’t fault him. After an hour of talk, the children were taken to an observation room to play. The social worker took the time to talk to Tweek and Craig about next steps, should there be any. 

“Well, how are you both feeling?” she asked. 

“I think they’re great kids,” Craig hummed, watching them play. 

The woman nodded before looking at Tweek, who thought he was exempt from the question. 

“They’re great,” he echoed Craig’s sentiment. 

“Right,” she noted, her tone distant. “How do you feel about adoption at this point?”

“Can we speak about it privately?” Craig asked. He knew his husband needed a moment to process. It was a now-or-never moment. Regardless of what Tweek truly felt, he would accept it. They both had to agree on what to do. It was a big decision, especially considering they too had no intention of separating the boys. 

When they were left alone behind the observation glass by the social worker, Craig gave his husband a knowing look. The floor was his. 

“Craig, I think they really are great, but…are we what they need? Am I? Did you see how awkward Louie was with me? Louis already loves you. I just don’t know how I can be anything good for them,” his eyes lowered to the ground. 

“Well, Louie just needs time in general. He needs a lot of attention and care to adapt. Meeting for an hour three times won’t make him warm up. Louis is just…hyper. To be fair, Tweek, you try to shrink away the same way Louie does when we meet. It’s kinda funny,” he smirked. When he was met with a warning growl, he only pulled his husband close to him. “I know you have love in your heart to give those boys. I saw your face when Ms. Jones said the boys had been rejected a lot.”

“Because I felt bad, I would be adding to the pain.”

“No, because you wanted to protect them from it happening again.”

Tweek’s eyes cut to meet the taller man’s gaze. Hearing the challenge of his offense made his stomach clench. A flush met his cheeks again as Craig rested his forehead against his. 

“I know it’s scary, becoming parents always is. It’ll be hard. We’re signing up to love these boys for the rest of our lives. We both have good-paying jobs, a stable home, matured enough. We’re exactly what they need. If not them, then who? I don’t have it in me to try this again just to walk away from fear. I really do want this, Tweek. But if you don’t, then this is it. We won’t try again,” he spoke tenderly. 

Staring Craig in the eye always did something to Tweek. It calmed him, made him think rationally. His heart was still loud in his ears. Maybe it wasn’t fear but excitement. He was nervous to make a mistake, but what new parent wasn’t? His gaze shifted out the window to find the two boys playing happily. Louie looked at his brother like he hung the moon. Tweek understood that feeling. 

“Okay, Craig.”

“What do you want to do?”

Turning to look Craig in the eye again, Tweek took a breath. “I want to do this.”

***

The drive home was exciting. Tweek wasn’t allowed to drive since his adrenaline was high. After signing, the boys couldn’t wait to go home with their new fathers. Neither could Tweek and Craig. Processing the paperwork was strangely fast, not that they asked questions. They just couldn’t believe today was the day they’d be taking their sons home. 

Their sons. 

Tweek and Craig couldn’t believe they could finally say that. They had sons. Two little boys. It made them feel a lightness they hadn’t felt since they got married fifteen years prior. They came to know that lightness as hope. 

While Craig drove, happily chatting to Louis, Tweek was busy ordering same-day delivery to their home for more essentials. They had a guest room always prepared and cleaned. A social worker had deemed the home adequate for children upon an inspection two weeks prior. Until they could decorate the room, a few clothes and toys would fill the space. Tweek texted their family for help collecting what he couldn’t get delivered. As far as Tricia was concerned, he said nothing but a word. 

By the time they came home, Tricia, as well as all four new grandparents, were outside of Tweek and Craig’s home. Tweek twitched with agony, seeing the large purchases. Craig only laughed happily. The twins were overwhelmed in their own ways, seeing their new family. An impromptu welcome home party somehow fit the evening perfectly. 

In the blink of an eye, Tweek saw his neat and tidy home become crowded with toys and shoes. The twins hadn’t been home for four hours by the time Richard and Thomas assembled the bunkbeds. Laura and Helen were all too happy to show the new clothes they bought for the boys. Tricia was sure to record the homecoming. While Louis was happy to run around his new home exploring, Louie found the kitchen pantry to be nice. It was quiet. Little did he know, it was also his new dad’s hiding spot. 

When Tweek went to his pantry to deep breathe, he found the whimpering Louie. For some reason, Tweek assumed he’d be chasing his brother. Instead, he was there hiding from the chaos. The two looked at each other in a startled gaze. Tweek didn’t know what to do other than close the door behind him. Swallowing, he eased down to the ground. Sitting quietly, he showed himself not a threat to the antsy boy. 

Alone, they sat in the pantry while the world seemed to pass them by. Neither cared to talk; they were too weary of each other still. Quiet time shared was fine for them. It was well needed. 

“Has anyone seen Tweek?” Craig realized he hadn’t seen his husband in some time. 

“We thought he was helping you move the guest bed downstairs?” Tricia asked. 

“We finished that a while ago.”

“Louie! Where’s Louie?! Louie!” Louis’s shriek grew panicked when he finally realized his brother was gone. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m sure he’s with Tweek,” Craig tried to soothe him. 

“Louie,” he whined, not interested until he saw his twin. 

“Check the pantry. I’m sure Tweek’s just taking a minute,” Helen offered sweetly. Without hesitating, Louis ran to the kitchen. Craig was behind him, eager to make sure the boy was fine and hopefully find the missing blondes. 

An open pantry door revealed both Tweek and Louie in a state of calm. Tweek looked at Craig with wide eyes, threatening tears. In his lap was Louie, leaning against his chest. Tweek thought he’d die. He never knew anything like what he was in that moment. 

“Louie, you’re okay!” his brother cheered. 

“I’m…with Daddy,” the soft voice responded.

“Daddy,” Tweek whimpered emotionally as he held the boy. 

“Okay. I’ll hang out with Dad,” Louis shut the door, no longer worrying. He only needed to see that Louie was fine. Now life could continue as usual. 

“Dad,” Craig uttered in disbelief. He’d have to get used to hearing that. It was amazing to hear it. He shared his husband’s sentiment, nearing tears himself as Louis pulled him back to the bedroom to finish arranging the toys. 

Just so easily did the boys take to them. All the worries Tweek held vanished. They were replaced with feelings of hope and love. While Craig thrived on the high outside, Tweek settled contentedly for peace in the pantry. The way Louie nuzzled him told him they’d be okay. Louis’s laughter beyond the door with Craig was just the same. He had been so worried about how their lives would change if they became parents. It was only now, with his son in his arms, did he know it had changed for the better. 

Chapter Text

Tweek’s target wasn’t as secretive as he liked to think. In fact, he found the boy to be quite predictable. This game of finders-keepers had been going on for months. No matter what Tweek did to secure his goods, Feldspar the Thief managed to pilfer them. Ever since Tweek’s barbarian tribe found it good to settle near Zaron, Feldspar made it a point to see what goods they held. Honestly, Tweek thought he only came to bother him. 

That wasn’t an untruth. Feldspar did enjoy bothering Tweek. Stealing from the barbarians was a dangerous game. They could be brutal in their punishments. After an encounter that nearly cost him his hand, Feldspar found it reasonable to target a single barbarian rather than the entire tribe. Tweek was easy to manage. The other boy was smaller than he. Despite being sixteen years of age just the same, Tweek was at least a head shorter than Feldspar. He was also fairly bulky. Feldspar thought the meat-based diet was to blame for it. No matter how curious the barbarians were, he was never put off by it. It was hard to be when he was so interested in it. 

At least, he was interested in Tweek. 

It was because of Tweek that he went out of his way to invade the tribe’s grounds so often. While he liked to merely roam and make himself familiar with the people, Tweek knew better. He didn’t trust Feldsar as far as he could see him. The thief had sticky fingers that only seemed to lust after Tweek’s items. Twice, his hunting knife ended up in the thief's bag in the past month. A few weeks ago, Tweek’s tribal paint had gone missing. His father scolded him for misplacing it, only for the tub to return to the last place Tweek had it. Tweek remembered how angry he felt when his special cup for coffee had been taken. Little things, it was always little things that weren’t so little that Feldspar took. After some time, if he wasn’t caught in action, they would return to Tweek. 

He’d had enough. Feldspar would be caught once and for all. Nobody seemed to care when Tweek accused the Zaronian of theft. He was always told to handle his battles on his own. And he would. Today was the day he’d catch Feldspar and ensure justice was given. The bait he left out for the thief was too good to resist. 

His warrior’s amulet. It was given to him on his last birthday. The young warriors of his tribe were all given one when they came of age. It was a sign of honor and strength. Something so valuable was risky to leave out in the open, but Tweek knew that’s what would excite Feldspar. With the amulet left open behind the Tweak family’s home, he’d have no reason not to take it. He would slip it in his bag, as he normally would, and continue on his merry way to find other ways to upset Tweek. He'd be shocked to find the barbarian was waiting in the trees to catch him. Tweek's bow and arrow were ready. He’d strike Feldspar where he stood and empty his satchel of stolen goods. That would teach the thief to never tamper with his items again. 

When the sun rested high in the sky, Feldspar still hadn’t arrived. Tweek narrowed his eyes. It never took this long for the thief to arrive. Surely, he was around town by then. Feldspar didn’t linger around beyond Tweek’s usual placements. It wasn’t like the thief would even dream of trying to steal from someone else in the tribe. 

“Where are you?” Tweek growled lowly. 

“Who?”

“Ahh!” Tweek jumped back, his bow pointed to the source of the voice. A smug smile rested on Feldspar’s lips. 

“I assume you were looking for me?”

“Yes! Of all days for you not to steal from me, you chose today!”

“A good thief never takes the bait. Besides, there’s no real risk in taking an item that’s just left in the open. You could’ve at least made it a little harder for me.”

“You think it would’ve been easy to take the amulet?”

“It was easy to take your blade.”

“My-” Tweek patted his person to find his dagger missing. Feldspar smirked as he dangled the missing weapon before the barbarian. His growl of frustration didn’t scare the thief. It only made his smile deepen. 

“You’re becoming too easy, Tweek. Maybe I should find someone else to play with.”

“Excuse me?” His teeth clenched. 

“I think I may be growing bored of you. What good is stealing from you if you make it so easy?”

“How about you don’t steal from me at all!?” Tweek yelled. “You call yourself a noble thief, and yet all you do is steal things to smear my name. How does that make you noble? You’re no more noble than a wolf in sheep’s wool is.”

“I mean, what if I am? How do you know I don’t do this for your benefit?” Feldspar casually walked around Tweek. “Perhaps I am just a humble friend helping you become a better warrior.”

“Except you aren’t. You only seek to annoy me.”

“Have I succeeded?”

“Yes. Now, if you’ll be so kind, fuck off.”

“So pretty yet so rude.”

Tweek released a frustrated breath as he raised the bow, ready to shoot the thief. It didn’t matter if he hadn’t stolen the bait. He was far too arrogant for Tweek’s tastes. 

“Put that down before you hurt me,” Feldspar mock gasped. 

“That’s the point,” Tweek released an arrow. When the bow seemingly struck Feldspar, the taller boy vanished. Another annoyed huff came from the blonde. He was used to the tricks and torment. It’d have to be another day he’d rid himself of the pest known as Feldspar. “An idiot,” he grumbled and went to retrieve his amulet. 

When faced with a blank space where his amulet once was. Blinking slowly, Tweek came to realize once more Feldspar had taken him for a fool. 

“I’m going to kill him,” his voice shook. 

“You’ll have to catch me first,” Feldspar’s voice whispered in his ear. 

With an angry grunt, Tweek went to swing his dagger only to find it missing again. A teasing smile lingered on Feldspar’s lips. 

“You’ll have to do better than that.”

“Do you ever think about not being such a nuisance? Surely, there is something else for you to do other than bother me.” Tweek restored to his fists. Feldspar was too close for the bow. Knocking one of the thief’s teeth out suddenly seemed like a great prize to the frustrated barbarian. He’d wear it on a necklace as a trophy. 

“Perhaps. But I think it’s better to see you flush,” Feldspar dodged the heavy blows. He knew if Tweek managed to land one, it’d hurt beyond reason. Oddly enough, he almost preferred the blade. If Tweek wanted that back, however, he’d have to take it. Making things too easy would get them nowhere. 

“Flush? I do no such thing!” Tweek denied despite the redness in his cheeks. Feldspar only hummed as he continued poking his opponent. Tweek wasn’t quick on his feet. That’s why he preferred ranged attacks. Now that Feldspar was so close, Tweek would have to make do without his dagger. Feldspar found the opportunity to invade the barbarian in a new way. 

“Are you sure? Your cheeks are red. I’m flattered that they turn for me.”

“Stop lying,” Tweek gritted his teeth as he swung again. Damn this stupid boy. All Tweek wanted was one fair hit. Then he’d knock Feldspar over, ransack his bag to get what belonged to him, and then retreat inside his home. 

“How am I lying when you yourself feel your cheeks burn? Why be in denial? It’s only making this harder for you.”

“No, it-” Tweek stopped. He realized that Feldspar was only tempting him. The more flustered he got, the easier it was for Feldspar to distract him. Being calm would start to undo Feldspar. “No, it’s not. I’m not in denial if I speak the truth,” he dropped his defensive stance. 

“Oh? Then tell me why your cheeks are still red.”

“From the heat, the same as yours,” Tweek stepped close to Feldspar. If he weren’t trying to gain the upper hand, he’d have celebrated the way Feldspar staggered with a deepened blush. 

“R-right. The heat. Surely we should go inside for something to drink?”

“I will, since I live here. I think it’d be good for you to return home to your mother.”

“She will not miss me, not like you will.”

“You think I will miss you?”

“I know you always do.”

Charming. If Tweek squinted, Feldspar could be charming. Be that as it may, Tweek couldn’t lose sight of his goals. His amulet and his dagger were all that mattered. Not this somewhat attractive thief that had a personal mission to drive Tweek to madness. 

“It’s interesting that you know such a thing when I’ve never said it,” Tweek coyly continued to linger close to the thief. 

“You didn’t have to. It’s just something I’ve learned. Our game is your favorite part of the day,” Feldspar taunted. 

“Is it? I think you enjoy it more than me,” Tweek stretched. 

“Oh?”

“You wouldn’t go out of your way to begin it if you didn’t. Why else would you go out of your way to bother me if it didn’t bring you joy?”

“Maybe it doesn’t bring me joy, but seeing you flustered does.”

“I see. Never took you for one to be so in love with me.”

“W-what?” Feldspar sputtered. His cheeks reached a new shade of red that Tweek had never seen before. 

Perfect. 

“Oh, nothing,” Tweek remained coy. “The heat must be getting overwhelming. I think this is where our game ends today.” 

“Leaving without your things?” Feldspar taunted boldly. 

“No, but you are.”

“Wait, what?”

“Goodbye, Feldspar. Enjoy your way home,” Tweek made into his home. Feldspar quickly patted himself down and opened his bag. Not only had Tweek taken back the amulet and dagger, but he had taken Feldspar’s picklocks and fire rocks. 

Damn him.

Inside the comforts of his room, Tweek hid away Feldspar’s goods. Now the thief could know what it was like to be left wanting for days. Little did Tweek know, he only incited a greater fire in his opponent. Their game would reach new bounds. Although he’d never say it aloud, Tweek couldn’t wait. 

Chapter Text

All was not well in the apartment of Tweek and Craig. Unfortunately, illness had struck. It was the end times as far as Craig was concerned. For him, having the flu was the worst thing that could happen. For Tweek, having to nurse Craig back to health was a treat in itself. The usually calm and rational man became an Oscar-worthy actor when he ran the slightest temperature. For the past three days, Tweek had been tending to his ailing partner. He liked to think Craig was getting better. As far as Craig was concerned, he was on the edge of death. 

“It’s too hot,” he whimpered. 

“You have to stay bundled up so you can sweat the fever out,” Tweek fixed the blanket over him. 

“But Tweek-”

“You’ll be fine,” the dismissal came as he placed a thermometer in Craig’s mouth. A hum of pity came from the patient when Tweek took a look at his temperature. “102. Poor thing.”

“I can’t go on like this.”

“I’m sure.”

“This is it, Tweek.”

“Is it?”

“Yes. I need you to be prepared for anything.”

“I will be. Here, blow.” Tweek held the tissue to his partner’s nose. Craig blew harshly. His nurse tried not to grimace as the snot-filled tissue as he threw it away. “You really are sick, huh, big guy?”

“I’m dying, Tweek.”

“You just have a cold, dude. You aren’t dying.”

“Bring me my son. There’s a lot I need to tell him before I go.”

“Uh-huh,” An eye roll came. Tweek withheld a sigh on his venture to retrieve Stripe. He ignored the whiny words from Craig. All the sick man did was complain and be sensitive. Tweek was used to it. Still, he couldn’t wait for the cold to pass. “One heir to your estate,” he handed the guinea pig to Craig. 

“He doesn’t get the whole estate. Only my car, my bank account, and my collection of Peruvian vases.”

“Just anything of value.”

“There are other things of value,” Craig whined. “Clyde is getting my clothes. Tolkien,” he paused to cough. “Tolkien is being awarded my Red Racer collection. He’ll treat it best.”

“And Jimmy?” 

“Jimmy can have my games and instruments.”

“Mmm, and what do I get? And your parents?” Tweek hummed as he wrote down Craig’s apparent last wishes. 

Craig sniffled, stroking Stripe’s warm fur in thought. “To my parents, my dad can have my watch. My mom can have whatever other jewelry I have. And my awards from college.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Tricia can have whatever’s left.”

“You still haven’t told me what I get.”

“I’m leaving you my NASA pin and books. You can have my engagement ring, too. I’ll give you a cut of my bank account, but the majority goes to Stripe. His future needs to be secured. My son has his whole life ahead of him.” 

“Yes, the fully grown four-year-old guinea pig has a bright future,” Tweek rolled his eyes again. 

“He does,” Craig cuddled him. “Leave us. We have much to discuss.”

“Of course,” Tweek gave his mock sympathies. He escaped to the kitchen to start a hot toddy for his patient. While the tea kettle began heating received a call from Laura. She knew her son could be a handful while he was sick. At twenty-two years old, he regressed tremendously the moment he started sneezing. 

“How is he?”

“He’s on his deathbed. These moments are so hard.”

“I just can’t believe it. He’s so young.”

“But he’s so strong. So brave. He wants you to have his school awards and his jewelry.”

“I thought I was supposed to have the vase collection.”

“Oh no, that goes to Stripe now.”

“Stripe? I didn’t know he cared for vases.”

“Of course he does. They’re great for hiding.”

“He’s too fat for them.”

“Shh, don’t let Craig hear you say that. He doesn’t need that kind of stress right now.”

“It’ll stay between us.”

Tweek appreciated Laura’s banter. Anytime Craig was sick, he went through the motions. He was always doomed to die when he was ill. His family had long accepted his terminal illness of dramatics. Playing along helped ease their annoyance. 

“His toddy is done. I’ll call you back when he’s done making lasting memories with Stripe,” Tweek breathed. 

“So precious. And thank you, Tweek. I know he’s a bit much.”

“It’s fine. I knew what I was signing up for when we moved in together.”

A short laugh led Laura into her goodbye. Carrying back the hot whisky tea, Tweek prepared for the next phase of Craig’s antics. Stripe was back in his cage, which suggested Craig had gotten up to put him there. Tweek knew better than to comment since Craig would insist he was immobile from weakness. 

“Here, drink this.”

“It’s too hot,” Craig complained again.

“Craig, please.”

“No,” he refused. 

Sighing, Tweek tried another approach. 

“How about you drink it while you watch Red Racer, yeah?”

“That won’t work on me.”

“Yeah?” Tweek hummed softly as he turned on a rerun.

“I hate this episode!” Craig cried.

“Fine,” Tweek gritted his teeth and turned on another.

“That one’s boring.”

Tweek’s lips curled inward as he tried to turn on a third episode. 

“I’ve seen that one a million times.”

“You’ve seen them all a million times,” Tweek thought to himself. He merely hummed to stay calm and continued flipping through the vast assortment of Red Racer episodes. Finally, he landed on one that seemed to be manageable to Craig. By the time he had, the toddy had cooled enough for Craig to drink. Tweek tried to monitor Craig’s fluid intake. It was hard when the moody man tried to avoid eating at all costs. A part of it was due to having no appetite. A greater part of it was due to Craig’s commitment to the performance. 

The toddy did what Tweek needed it to do. Craig was completely asleep after finishing it. Tweek took the moment to breathe with his patient, finally resting. Craig’s temperature had broken, and he was starting to look better. A sniffle told Tweek he was threatening to catch Craig’s cold. Sighing, he made his way to the kitchen to make himself a hot toddy. It’d serve nobody if both he and Craig were sick. He just simply wouldn’t have the patience if he had to handle a sick Craig while being sick himself. 

Perhaps he was a little strong on the whisky. Craig found his boyfriend asleep at the kitchen table with a toddy of his own, halfway drunk. Snorting back mucus, he finished Tweek’s toddy before nudging him. Tweek was resistant to waking until he heard the loud whine. 

“W-what!?” he jumped.

“Tweek, you can’t die right now. You have to wait your turn,” Craig whined.

Tweek blinked at the grown man standing before him. Craig was never this needy when he wasn’t sick. God, he needed to get over his cold and get over it now. 

“You’re supposed to be in bed,” Tweek collected himself. 

“Red Racer went off.”

“And you didn’t put on another?”

“You have to do it,” the whine came again.

“Why me?” Tweek leaned on his wrist. 

“Because,” Craig sniffled. “I like how you hold the remote.”

Tweek only blinked and nodded slowly. “Alright, get back in bed. I’ll be there in a moment.”

“Don’t wait too long. I could be dead before you get there.”

“Sure,” Tweek looked at his empty mug. What was he going to do with his big baby?

***

Tweek had again fallen asleep during Red Racer. Craig only noticed when he wanted Tweek to turn on another episode. Seeing his boyfriend asleep at his bedside broke his need for attention. Moving Tweek’s hair from his face, Craig noticed the slight flush in Tweek’s cheeks. 

“I told him to wait his turn,” Craig huffed to himself. Rather than wake Tweek again, Craig moved his boyfriend to their bed. It took no time to put vapor rub on Tweek’s chest and under his nose. After kissing Tweek’s forehead, Craig left for the kitchen to make his boyfriend a can of soup. With Craig gone, Tweek peeked open one eye before closing it again with a smile. 

It felt good to know that if Craig would stop dying for anybody, he’d do it for him. 

Chapter Text

Tweek looked at himself in the mirror. His hat was still too big. With a nervous twitch, he worked to adjust it. Tonight was important. Not only would he be meeting his familiar, but they had an assignment to complete before midnight. Halloween was such an important night. It was one night out of the year that witches and other creatures of the night could roam free amongst the typical human world. Usually, Tweek would hide at his family’s storefront. Making coffee and cakes for the mortals wasn’t a bad cover. If only his parents weren’t so eager this year. They couldn’t wait to meet the familiar he’d have until he graduated high school. If they became bonded, they’d be together for life. 

“Oh, don’t you look nice, Pumpkin,” Helen cooed as she entered his room. 

She wasn’t met with a response. Tweek only glanced at her in the mirror before fidgeting with his hat once more. Her attempt at conversation wasn’t helping his nerves. His mother took the hint and joined him. With all the tenderness in the world, she tilted his hat to rest properly on his head. 

“Try not to nudge it.”

“Why can’t I just get a new one?”

“You know that isn’t how that works,” she fastened his cape around his shoulders. “A witch grows into their hat. It has to connect to your practice and your spirit.”

“Dad’s fits him just fine,” Tweek muttered, looking at her hands working to straighten his cape out. 

“Because he grew into it. His father picked out his hat the same way he picked out yours. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll have to pick out a hat for your son.”

“No!” he twitched nervously. “That’s too much pressure.” 

Helen only chuckled and nodded understandingly. It was a lot for a ten-year-old to look forward to. Tweek was never one to take control of the situation. Instead, he preferred to hide and wait for direction. Helen supposed she understood. It was hard to keep a secret identity of being a witch. Hopefully, his new familiar could help him settle. Tweek mostly stayed to himself at school. Since he never brought friends home or asked to play outside, she worried he wasn’t as social as he could be. Her husband was less concerned. To him, their son just needed time to find his friend group. Worst-case scenario, Tweek would just join a coven. That’d be enough. It was for Richard’s father.

There were plenty of memories Richard had of joining his father to coven events when he was a child. Some of his closest friends were the sons and daughters of other witches. While he never formally joined himself, the community was still dear to him. Perhaps, after meeting his familiar, Tweek would like to join a junior coven. After the ceremony tonight, Richard would suggest it. 

“Someone’s ready for their ceremony,” Helen sang. Richard turned to find her walking hand-in-hand with their son. 

“Almost,” Richard smiled. Tweek twitched as his father pinned their family crest to his cape. The insignia featured coffee beans. 

When Tweek was a child, his father explained that coffee beans had been a staple in the magic their family performed. Potions always had at least the essence of coffee in them. People sought out their help for very specific things. Usually, students or people with medical issues. Richard never said it forwardly, but he expected Tweek to use their family’s staple tonight in his assignment. Tweek took the hints. He still had no idea what to make. Now that he was being granted a familiar, he was to perform a level three magic task to be approved to keep one. That meant a simple elemental spell or object illusion wouldn’t cut it. 

According to his training, he had to at least create a proper healing potion, hatch a magical creature, or securely mend a spell conduit. Tweek had watched his father make plenty of healing potions, coffee beans, and all. That would likely be the route he took. The hard part would be gathering ingredients and brewing them precisely. It was a more intricate process than people gave it credit for. Once, after he made the mistake of adding too much troll dandruff to a cauldron, he was forced to endure a week of having crooked, rainbow-colored, spiked teeth. His parents kept him home from school for the week. Even still, he was embarrassed to go back to his witch’s courses since everyone knew he failed what was supposed to be a basic levitation potion. At least no one at his mortal school knew anything. 

“Now he’s perfect,” Richard gently stroked his son’s hat. 

“Let’s get going. We don’t want to be late. This will be a Halloween he won’t forget,” Helen took her son’s shaking hand. Tweek only twitched as his father opened the secret door that would lead to the magic realm. His mother’s words lingered in his mind. 

Tonight certainly would be a night he’d never forget.

***

“Who’d have thought our boys got paired together?” Richard smiled. 

“I know. It’s a good thing, too. I think Tweek will be a good influence on Craig.”

“And here I thought Craig could help Tweek. He gets along with the other kids. Maybe he can help get Tweek out there.”

Tweek tried not to eavesdrop on his father’s conversation. He had seen the tall ginger man a few times at the shop. It seemed he and his father talked often about things beyond Tweek’s care or concern. Considering that he, too, was a witch, Tweek never would’ve guessed his son was a familiar. Tweek tried not to look at the boy he was partnered with.

As a familiar, Craig’s task for tonight was to prove he could complete magical quests. Just the same as Tweek, he had to prove he could handle having a partner. Aiding witches and other magic entities was business as usual for familiars. They were trained to be of assistance. Hunting, protecting, reading, sorting. The tasks weren’t always so cut and dry. Being able to mask one’s abilities while carrying out quests was a trade. Familiars were for hire, not purchase. Many stayed partnered with their school pairings. After working together from fourth grade until high school graduation, it just made sense for most. 

Sometimes pairings went beyond platonic bonding. That was certainly the case with Craig’s parents. Thomas married Laura after working together for years. His feline familiar worked her way into his heart in more ways than one. Their firstborn favored her genes while their second favored his. In a couple of years, Tricia would be paired with a familiar, while Craig was paired with a witch this year. There wasn’t as much of a power dynamic as outsiders thought. Pairings were built on trust and equality. All friendships that lasted a lifetime were. 

“The boys should be leaving soon. Halloween night is already underway for the mortals. Remember, they only have until midnight,” Laura chimed in. Helen nodded in agreement. 

“Have you decided what you’re going to do?” Helen adjusted Tweek’s cape, prompting him to fidget. 

“Poison cure,” Tweek twitched violently.

“What kind?” Richard directed him to be specific. 

“Ack, Treant Treatment.”

“Excellent choice,” Thomas commended. “A bit tricky, so you two should get started.”

“Remember, son, part of the cure is what?”

“To include the poison.”

“Stay safe out there,” Helen urged. 

“Happy hunting,” Laura smirked as she pinched her son’s cheek. Craig scoffed, moving from her tease. He just wanted tonight to be over.

Collecting ingredients was easy. Craig always had top scores on his retrieval assignments. Last time, he had the fastest time for finding a mushroom buried deep in a murky, isolated bog. Whatever Tweek needed, Craig was sure he could gather with ease. He just hoped Tweek didn’t slow him down. The blonde seemed too nervous for the night. They only had five hours to finish their assignment. While some of their ingredients were easy finds, some would be harder. Treant sap, most notably. It wasn’t as if they could just ask for it.

***

Coffee beans, owl feathers, and mist berries were the low-hanging fruit. 

Jackalope fur, moon meal, and blue ash root less so. 

Once they secured a honeybell, a specific flower bud found east of town, they could focus on the hard part. Tweek had intentionally left getting the Treant sap for last. Even with Craig’s confident attitude, securing the sap would be a two-person job. Tweek was learning that Craig liked to get things done quickly. He felt bad for the poor jackalope that had to endure the chase the black cat pursued. Leaving a bundle of wheat was Tweek’s peace offering. The young witch-in-training came prepared for the evening. He didn’t like getting caught off guard. 

“See any honeybells?” Tweek asked. 

“Not yet,” the monotone cat said as he continued looking around. He had to give it to Tweek; the guy knew how to drive his broom straight. 

After hearing his mother talk of how bad a driver his dad was as a kid, Craig was sure he’d end up in a lake or be thrown into a tree. Thankfully, the only mishap they’d encountered was Tweek taking off too quickly when getting the mist berries. They needed to be kept in specific conditions, and the blonde got too rushed putting them in a sealed jar. That meant he wasn’t paying attention to his broom. Thankfully, Craig was quick to jump aboard as the broom took flight. He helped Tweek get the jar into his bag while the blonde straightened out their flight path. 

Tweek sighed as he continued looking around. They had just two and a half hours left before Halloween came to an end. Trying not to settle into the panic, he shifted his attention to his partner. Craig’s collar shone brightly in the moonlight. His family’s crest featured a three-quarter moon and stars. When he transformed back to being human, the pin would appear on his cape as normal. Tweek wanted to know the meaning behind the Tucker family crest, but decided to ease into small talk first. 

“S-so, how are familiar classes?” he asked. 

“Fine,” Craig continued scanning the ground. 

“Do you…like them?”

“Uh-huh.”

Seeing Craig uninterested, Tweek bit the inside of his cheek. Focusing on finding the honeybell was more important than idle conversation. 

“Is it true your mom is a mortal?”

“What?”

“Is your mom a mortal?”

“Half-blood.” Tweek twitched. He didn’t take Craig for a gossip. The question wasn’t uncommon. Others in his class had asked it. His father married outside of their realm, at least partially. When Craig’s golden eyes glanced at him momentarily before returning to the ground, Tweek knew he wanted specifics. “She’s half storm sprite. On my grandma’s side.”

“Are you good at weather magic then?”

“I haven’t done it yet. My dad won’t let me.”

“Why?”

“He wants me to master the basics first,”

“Haven’t you yet?”

“Have you?” Tweek shifted the conversation. 

“Mastered enough,” Craig’s eyes narrowed. “There’s a patch of honeybells down there. Let’s get a few and get to Raven Shadow Hills for the sap.”

“Right,” Tweek steered sharply to where the flowers were. Craig was quick to capture a few stems in his mouth. With them secured in Tweek’s bag, Tweek took off quickly towards the forest. It was known for the treant population throughout the landscape. It wasn’t exactly hard to tell a tree from a treant. Avoiding an agitated treant was the challenge. They were often defensive and possessive of their territories. That’s how they came to poison offenders. Their poison would turn the victim into trees. The thick trees of Raven Shadow Hills were said to be filled with poor souls who were poisoned for invading treant territory. If Tweek did his potion right, it would prevent a poisoned party from turning. 

***

Tweek landed at the entrance of the forest. Just over two hours left before he and Craig needed to submit their assignment. Hopefully, they could find the treant sap on the ground or a dead stump. 

“Let’s go,” Craig said blandly as he started in the forest. 

“R-right,” Tweek nodded and started after him. He wasn’t a fan of trekking through the woods. His father always told him he’d have to get used to it, but that had been asking for a lot. “See anything?”

“No,” Craig growled. He shook a wet leaf from his paw, uninterested in walking on the ground. Having muddy paws was a pet peeve, oddly enough. If he hadn’t been working on his transfiguration endurance to maintain his animal form, he’d have returned to his human state to walk the forest. Contrary to popular belief, familiars weren’t born in their animal forms. It was a learned skill to control it and maintain it for stretches of time. “We probably have to go to a spawn garden.”

“Are you crazy? Those things are guarded by mother trees. They’ll kill us for even trying.”

“We don’t have time to wander the forest all night. Unless you want to, ugh,” he paused to shake another leaf, “fail, we have to go to a known source.”

Craig wasn’t accustomed to being picked up. It wasn’t so much offensive as it was startling. His mew was cute, but Tweek would never say it. After getting Craig adjusted on his shoulders, he continued through the forest. Thanks to Craig’s knowledge of the forest, it took little time to approach a spawn garden. The two hid behind a few large rocks near the edge of the garden. Loud thuds of roaming guards reached their ears. Tweek felt his heart racing. The sap coated a few of the spud tops to protect them. They only needed a few handfuls, enough to fill a jar for the sake of having extra for mistakes. By working together, they could secure what they needed and get away quickly. 

“See any sap pools?” Tweek whispered to the familiar. Craig had bravely been peering over the rocks to gauge where their best efforts were. 

“No. I just see a bunch over the spuds. We’ll just have to scoop off the tops.”

“We can’t do that. They’ll kill us for touching their babies!”

“Shut up! Do you want to get caught? We don’t have another way!” Craig hissed at the blonde. 

“It’s too dangerous. I think we should try looking around for a pool.”

“We don’t have time!” 

“But-”

“You know you could just ask,” a low deep voice shocked the bickering boys. Hanging onto each other for dear life, the two faced a large treant. It looked at them knowingly.

They weren’t the only magic students to make Treant Treatment as their Halloween pairing test. For centuries, training pairs would seek out treant sap for the potion. It wasn’t as hard to get as the rumors made it seem. Rumors always made for a little bit of fun, however. Tweek and Craig blinked momentarily when it raised its finger, sap generously dripping down. It took a moment for Tweek to come to himself and grab an empty jar from his bag. Craig assisted in getting the sap, as well as a few bark bits, into the jar without missing a drop.  The bark bits were more for him. If they were boiled in wisp oil and honey, they’d lose their poisonous qualities and make for nice treats. 

“T-thank you for your help,” Tweek smiled. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Craig jumped on his witch’s shoulders. 

“It’s been my pleasure,” the low voice came with a smile. “Hurry back. You don’t have much time left.”

The pair didn’t need to be told twice. With a running start to the edge of the forest, Tweek jumped on his broom and sped back to the school. With just over an hour left, Tweek needed total concentration to get his potion right. Thankfully, he had a familiar who was detail-oriented.

***

Craig didn’t know that part of his job would be serving as a test subject. His parents seemed rather cheeky when he and Tweek had to give their presentation. Having to ingest treant sap was the least thrilling thing he’d ever done. That was, until he started sprouting branches and leaves a few minutes later. Not that he doubted Tweek’s brewing skills, but it was a lot to rely on the potion Tweek made to heal him. Of course, teachers were ready with remedies just in case. Now in his human form, Craig crossed his fingers that they wouldn’t need it. 

Taking a large swallow of Tweek’s potion, Craig held faith that he’d be cured of treant poison. Their parents watched anxiously for the remedy to take effect. Tweek nearly snapped his broom he’d been clutching when the branches fell from Craig’s body. Cheers from their parents only further soothed their worries. A passing mark and peer review solidified that they’d continue as partners and could move on to the next level of their studies. 

“You boys did amazing for your first Halloween together!” Richard congratulated them. 

“I can’t wait to see what they do next year,” Thomas mused. 

“They have plenty of work to do before then. Next, they have to work on their summoning spells,” Laura went to pinch her son’s cheek again. She didn’t get the chance when he transformed into a cat and ran to his witch. From Tweek’s shoulder, he confidently gave the woman the equivalent of the finger from his precious paw. 

Helen chuckled, “I don’t think they’ll have a problem with that.”

The other parents didn’t disagree. Seeing as their sons were so comfortable after one night together, there was no doubt the pair were headed towards the bond of a lifetime. 

Chapter Text

A snow day always brought joy to the residents of South Park. For the kids, it was another day away from the confines of school. The adults found it to be just a day away from responsibilities. When they were younger, Christy and Tweek thought their parents were more relaxed on snow days than on the typical weekend or day off. Now, as adults themselves, they saw the enjoyment of the abrupt day off. 

Christy found it to be a prime opportunity to get Tweek into matching animal onesies. Penguins. She was quite proud of her selection and told her wife as much when she asked. Dressed as the Arctic birds, they enjoyed a breakfast of blueberry pancakes and coffee. Afterwards, they agreed to do as little as possible on their gifted day inside. Red Racer was always Christy’s choice of comfort TV. That was fine by Tweek. While she usually joined her wife in binge-watching the retro anime, she decided she could use a bit of meditation. It had been a while since she had. 

Life had been getting steadily more busy for her. Between replacing her mother as owner of the coffee shop and managing changes at home, Tweek didn’t have time to deep breathe. She knew it wasn’t healthy, but meditation became secondary. An opportunity had arrived, and she wholly intended to take it. Christy was happy for her. The two had a healthy dynamic. They weren’t so co-dependent as many thought. Existing as individuals helped them respect each other’s boundaries and kept them harmonious. 

A couple of hours of quiet time was a perfect way to bleed into the afternoon of their well-deserved lazy day. Yawning, Christy went to check on her wife. Tweek being quiet for extended periods wasn’t so much concerning as it was comforting. It was nice that Tweek could calm her agitation. She deserved it. When Christy found her wife, the blonde was now lying in bed. Her face was contorting, not in pain, but in annoyance. Christy’s eyes softened as she climbed into bed and wrapped her arms around her wife’s swollen middle. 

“Feeling okay, honey?”

“Yeah,” the groan was accompanied by a twitch. 

“Yeah?” Christy echoed. “Someone’s busy, it seems.”

“Too busy. She never moves this much. All of a sudden, she thinks now is the time to train for the Olympics.”

“Maybe she’s bored. Usually, you’re up and about at work. You’ve been quiet all day. Just breakfast and meditation. Now, trying to nap. She’s probably shocked Mommy is so calm suddenly.”

“Oh, I get a day off to rest, and she’s bored? Didn’t know we had such a princess on the way.”

“Of course, we do. And Mommy’s changing the pace. She just needs a little fun.”

“Well then, if Mommy can’t have a moment, then Mama can carry the next one.”

“You know why Mama can’t.”

Tweek only rolled her eyes. They agreed she’d carry their kids since her job wasn’t as demanding. Working at the coffee shop could be busy with long hours on her feet, but she could control when she sat or took breaks. Christy’s work was busier, more physically taxing. She often had late hours at the lab and traveled for seminars often. Working as a director at NASA required a lot from her. Christy climbed her way from an intern to where she is now. At thirty-seven years old, Christy had a lot of demands. As much as she wanted to expand her family with Tweek, it wouldn’t work in their favor if she carried opposed to her wife. Despite her fears of pregnancy, Tweek knew she’d be the one to carry their children. They wanted three kids, and Tweek had to mentally prepare to bring three little Tuckers into their home. If the first one was this demanding for entertainment, she wasn’t sure how the others would be. 

“Sigh, I guess this is my life now. Forced to keep this little punk busy,” Tweek faux sighed. 

“She’s a little angel. Aren’t you, sweetie?” Christy moved down to her wife’s belly. With a tender kiss, she began rubbing her wife’s middle. True to Tweek’s discomfort, their daughter was quite busy. On average, their daughter was a bit lazy. She didn’t move much and only gave harsh kicks far and few between. The sounds of the coffee shop were likely comforting. A smile came to Christy’s face at the thought. Their little girl was probably more like Tweek than the blonde thought. “Today’s supposed to be a lazy day at home. Mommy deserves that, doesn’t she?” 

“As if she cares,” Tweek twitched. Her fingers began stroking Christy’s hair while her other hand rested on top of her belly. A soft breath was released when a hard kick came. Such a combative kid. Tweek thought she’d be so much like Christy when she was born. 

The irony. 

“She does. She just can’t help being bored. But that’s okay. Mama promises we can play plenty when she gets here. You know, sweetie, we can play soccer,” Christy’s voice grew warmer and lower. “Mommy used to play soccer when she was younger. She even got a scholarship to college to play, but she didn’t take it. She decided to go to school with Mama instead…”

Tweek remained quiet as Christy spoke to their daughter. Closing her eyes, she left her wife to talk to their daughter. Her hand continued to lazily stroke Christy’s hair as they lay in bed together. 

“We can play with building blocks, too. The Legos may be a little hard for you at first, but Mommy is so good at them. I promise, we can start with the big blocks first, but before long, you’ll be a master builder just like Mommy. That sounds fun, yeah?” she kissed Tweek’s middle. “And we can play astronauts too. That was Mama’s favorite game when she was little. We can’t wait to play, sweetie. But playtime can’t be all the time. Sometimes it’s okay to be a little lazy. Lazy days are fun too. Let’s enjoy it together,” she kissed again. 

The strong kicks became milder, slowing to their normal bouts. Christy continued whispering sweet things to Tweek’s belly. A few things reached Tweek’s ears, but she heard less and less as she drifted off into sleep. Christy only noticed when her wife’s slow strokes in her hair came to a stop. Glancing upwards, she saw Tweek’s face resting peacefully. 

Good. She deserved a restful sleep. 

After giving one last kiss to Tweek’s belly, Christy nuzzled the swollen middle. Releasing a content sigh, she imagined what a lazy day would look like when their daughter arrived. It amused her to think such a quiet venture would be far and few between as they became parents. For now, lying in bed with her wife and spoiling her belly with kisses was everything Christy could’ve asked for. It was the perfect way to spend their lazy day indoors. 

Chapter Text

Wedding planning was by far the most stressful thing Tweek had ever done, and he once helped Cartman infiltrate a fast food corporate entity. When he and Craig got engaged, it seemed like the entire town knew within minutes. Congratulations poured in, as did the anticipation. He never thought so many people would be invested in the apparently long-awaited nuptials between him and Craig. It got to the point that Bebe was deputized as the wedding planner. Somehow, that seemed to make things worse. 

Bebe cracked the matrimonial whip every which way possible. Not even Tricia could tame the perfectionist. Managing the Tucker-Tweak affair gave Bebe power that most only dreamed about. At least, in the grand scheme of things, she used that power for good. It just did little to ease Tweek’s nerves. Seeing her go to such lengths for him only added pressure. He feared he’d somehow mess things up. Nightmares about tripping over the aisle runner or spilling wine during the wine ceremony haunted him. God, what if he knocked over the expensive flower arch!? As the days to the wedding grew closer, Tweek’s feet grew colder. Not about Craig, but about the entire affair. 

So many people.

 So much money.

Too many cameras.

Too little time.

“I don’t think I can do this.”

“What?” Kyle looked at Tweek.

“I don’t think I can go through with this.”

“With what, the steak at the reception?” Kyle tried to avoid the reality behind Tweek’s words. 

“The wedding.”

“See, you shouldn’t joke like that. It’s not-”

“Kyle, I’m serious,” Tweek looked at him worriedly. “I just-I can’t. It’s too much pressure. I don’t know how we got here, but it’s too much. It’s all too much. I can’t.”

“You can and you will, otherwise Bebe will find you. And she will kill you.”

“She’d understand-”

“You remember what happened with the list, right?”

Tweek swallowed. It was a hard topic for Kyle, even when they found out the truth. Still, the point stood that when Bebe Stevens wanted something, she got it. If that something happened to be Tweek’s ass, then he’d have to accept his fate. Somehow, dealing with Bebe’s size 8 pumps crushing his throat seemed more tolerable to South Park’s biggest event since The Running of the Cows that year. 

“Kyle, it’s a lot. You have to admit that.”

“I know it is. Getting married always is. It’s an event that you’ll always remember. Just know that it isn’t about the wedding itself, it’s about the marriage. This is about you and Craig, nobody else.”

“Then why can’t we just get married on an island somewhere where nobody knows us and can see us?”

“Because Tolkien and Nichole had to pay $75 for their daughter to get a dress and shoes to be your flower girl.”

“Oh god, what? I didn’t know it was that expensive!”

“Not to even mention the hair-”

“Kyle!”

“I’m teasing, Tweek. Point is, everyone put a lot of time and money into this. For no other reason than not having an angry mob outside your coffee shop, I suggest you put on your big boy pants and get ready to marry Craig tomorrow.”

“But-”

“But nothing,” Kyle handcuffed himself to Tweek.  When met with a frightened twitch, he sighed. “Bebe’s orders,” he snapped a picture to send to the wedding coordinator. Tweek groaned heavily as he flopped on the bed. 

“This is stupid.”

“I know,” Kyle yawned. “But you’re a flight risk. Try to get some sleep, okay? Everything will be better in the morning.”

Sighing, Tweek tried to get comfortable. “I can’t believe this.”

***

“I can’t believe this! What do you mean you lost the key to the handcuffs!?” Bebe yelled into the phone. 

“I didn’t lose them. Stan’s dog ate them!” Kyle yelled back. 

In the background, Tweek panicked. He was getting married in six hours, and he was handcuffed to his best man. Kyle had promised him everything would be better in the morning. Instead, it was so terribly, terribly worse. Stan was busy trying to get his dog to vomit, but was having little luck. 

“We don’t have time for this! Get to town now and have someone pick it!  Tweek is supposed to be at the venue in two hours for pictures and set up!” Bebe ordered. 

“The locksmith is closed, it’s Sunday,” Kyle facepalmed. Tweek only screamed in distress while Bebe echoed his sentiments. 

“Maybe we can cut it off,” Stan offered. 

“No! You’ll cut my hand off and then Craig won’t have a finger to put the ring on and-”

“We can cut the chain!” Kyle tried to soothe him. 

“Just get the handcuffs off and be at that church on time!” Bebe ordered and hung up. Shaking herself, she took a deep breath. The handcuffs were only a slight mishap, but that was fine. One little fire wouldn’t ruin the day.

***

A few little fires wouldn’t ruin the day, not on Bebe’s watch. 

Giving Clyde a cold shower and scorpion pepper hot sauce to cure his hangover was light work. 

Getting the flower arch recentered at the altar was a piece of cake. 

Getting Stripe into his harness to be wheeled down the aisle by Kenny's son could’ve gone worse. 

Making sure the mothers of the grooms didn’t fidget with the decorations was a little harder, but doable. 

Keeping Cartman away from the catering was a task. 

Not having word on the handcuff situation was maddening. 

“Have you heard from Tweek?” Craig startled Bebe. Trying not to jump at his sudden appearance, she turned to face one of the grooms. 

“Yes. He’s great. Why do you ask?”

“He didn’t come for setup.”

“Really?” Bebe pretended not to know her other groom was now two hours late. Honestly, how hard was it to get the handcuffs off?

“Really,” Craig bored holes into her. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Isn’t he here yet?”

“Oh, you know, probably just setting up other things. Maybe getting his tux ready. It’s a real beaut.”

“Bebe, is something wrong?”

“No! Why would something be wrong? Things don’t go wrong when Bebe Stevens plans an event.”

Craig only slowly blinked, looking at her. Something was wrong, and something was wrong with his fiancé. He needed to know what. Before he could open his mouth to speak, Kyle rushed in. 

“We’re here! We’re here! Sorry.”

“Oh, thank God,” Bebe breathed. “Where’s Tweek?”

“We had an accident cutting the handcuffs off, but everything’s fine now.”

“You what?” Craig and Bebe looked at him. Kyle quickly covered his mouth and ran before Craig could catch him. He only meant to let Bebe know they were there. Alarming the other groom was the last thing he wanted. Since he had, Bebe now had another little fire to extinguish. 

***

Tweek couldn’t believe this. Why him? Why today of all days? Why did he trust Stan, Kenny, Kyle, and Cartman to safely remove the handcuffs? He thought he’d lose a finger, and he almost did. Granted, part of it was his fault for thrashing away so much. Still, why did they think the saw was a good idea?

“Okay, all better?” Kenny offered a trying smile. 

“I look ridiculous.”

“Oh, c’mon, everybody wears a little makeup on their wedding day,” Wendy offered. 

Tweek only looked at her before frowning in the mirror. In trying to secure him while Kenny and Stan worked the saw, Tweek took a sharp elbow to the face. After icing it as long as they could, they called in Wendy to try covering the black eye with makeup. It didn’t look awful, but he definitely didn’t look like himself. Everyone would know he got hit. He almost wished he had lost a finger. 

“Okay, we missed the setup. That’s okay, though. Everybody got the place ready. Now you just have to get dressed for the pictures, and then it’s the ceremony,” Kyle ran Tweek through the plan. The blonde only met him with a tired expression. As frightened as he was, he didn’t have the strength to be afraid anymore. All he cared about was not looking bad in the photos that all of South Park would see. 

***

“Just what the hell is going on?” Craig demanded. 

“Nothing,” Bebe offered a smile. “Just go get in your tux. We don’t have long before the guests get here, and you guys need your pre-wedding photos. 

“How can we when Tweek isn’t even here? And what was the accident Kyle mentioned? Why were they in an accident?” He pressed her. 

“I don’t know!” she said honestly. “But, the point is they’re here, so that means everything is fine, right? So don’t worry so much, Craig. Today’s your wedding. You owe it to yourself and Tweek to be happy.”

“Bebe, I just need to see that he’s fine,” Craig tried to calm down with a sigh. 

“And you will when the photographer gets her,” she started ushering him to the dressing room. “Get changed and meet us in the back of the church for the pictures. Tweek will be there waiting for you.”

***

True to Bebe’s words, Tweek was in the church garden waiting. The sour scowl on his face hadn’t left. It made the makeup crinkle despite Wendy’s best efforts. 

“What the hell did you guys do?” she hissed at Kyle. 

“He took an elbow to the eye when he got scared of the saw.” Stan looked at the ground. 

“A fucking saw. Are you guys shitting me? Were pliers not an option?”

“They were rusted and wouldn’t cut,” Kenny rubbed the back of his neck. “At least we got the cuffs off.”

“That should’ve been off with the key,” she spat. 

“Hey, he didn’t know any better!” Stan defended his pet. 

“And whose fault is that?”

Before he could argue, Craig arrived. A look of mutual relief took Tweek and Craig. Bebe took what must’ve been her millionth deep breath of the day as the photographer started taking photos of the wedding party. With the new wave of calm, she had hope for the rest of the day.

***

Tweek felt like he championed his fears when he didn’t trip over the runner or spill the wine. Despite Stripe’s best efforts to escape his harness, he delivered the rings properly. Years of theater practice made it easy for Tweek to recite his vows without issue. Craig followed suit, bringing much of the room to tears. Following the priest’s declaration to kill, the room erupted in cheers. The only slight hiccup was Craig’s hand catching some of the foundation from Tweek’s face. Thankfully, it hadn’t uncovered the bruise underneath. 

“Is it over now?” Tweek breathed as they escaped to a suite while the church started filtering out. 

“No? Now it’s the reception,” Craig raised a brow. Tweek could only swallow as the memory of the lavish party came back to him. “You okay?”

“Y-yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” he offered a shaky smile. Seeing Craig’s unmoved face broke him shortly after. “No, I’m not okay.”

“What’s wrong?” Craig’s face finally softened as he held his new husband. 

“Today has been shit!” Tweek finally cried. “Not you, just everything else. I got handcuffed to Kyle, and then Stan’s dog ate the keys. The guys had to saw the damn things off of us, but I got scared and ended up getting elbowed, and now I have a black eye, and then the ceremony was long and I’m fucking over everything! I just want today to end! But that isn’t fair to you or Bebe or anyone else who came today. I’m just so tired!” he covered his face shamefully as he sobbed. Craig only continued holding him. 

“Okay,” was all he said simply. “You wanna leave? We can leave.”

“No, we can’t. Everyone is waiting for us.”

“So? They already saw what they needed to. As long as they eat the food and cake, who cares? They don’t need us to party.”

“You really mean that?” Tweek sniffled, looking up at him. Craig merely kissed his temple. 

“Of course, I do. Let’s make sure my dad has Stripe, and then we can go home. We can use the rest before we leave for our honeymoon.”

Tweek wiped his eyes, nodding along with his trying smile. Craig smiled warmly as he took Tweek’s hand, leading him from the suite. Bebe was waiting for them to give them further directions for their grand entrance. Momentarily, Tweek feared the hellfire she’d reign when Craig denied her, but his stoic husband’s stride never faltered. Leaving a stunned Bebe was hard, but Craig couldn’t care. All he cared about was getting his husband home. Knowing that made Tweek smile. 

After securing Stripe with his granddad, Craig and Tweek made their quiet escape. 

“Are you sure, Craig? We can still stay. I’m okay now,” Tweek offered gently. 

“No, it’s fine. I stole us some cake and a bottle of champagne,” Craig didn’t bother to hide the eagerness in his voice. He wanted to get away just as much as Tweek. “Let’s go home, honey.”

Tweek smiled brightly. Hearing Craig say those words meant a lot to him. He couldn’t wait to hear them for the rest of his life.