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Ritsu slams the front door of his house with unexpected force, nearly breaking it in two, without any thought behind such a childish action. It's almost as if all his thoughts have disappeared, replaced by a deep sadness and rage that burns his skin and his heart.
"You almost died, Shou! Again!"
Ritsu's eyes were glazed over at the figure of the boy in front of him, his eyes wide and his desperate movements contrasting with Shou's, who was simply standing there, wide-eyed and small.
Ritsu's steps were loud, he walked back and forth with his hands on his head, something like an act of pure anxiety, he seemed to be on the verge of madness, he couldn't even stop still and look at the boy in front of him.
"I didn't do that, Ritsu! You know I do that kind of thing all the time, I have control over things, I'm not a child!" Shou stood in the middle of the hallway, caged and imposing like a deer in headlights, feeling smaller than ever.
Shou was used to being the desperate one, screaming for his life and arguing. He was always ready to attack, without warning, an experienced fighter. Now, Shou was no longer in that place; he wasn't the desperate, prepared one. He came to this fight without any weapons, doomed and forced to listen to Ritsu and his complaints, with no room to even defend himself. Ritsu was right, Shou was wrong. There was nothing to be done.
"You did it, yes! You think no one realizes how unprepared you are when it comes to YOU?! I have to watch you try to die in the most heroic way to you EVERY TIME!" Ritsu felt frozen by his own words, unhappy with his own decisions, and, above all, completely desperate and insane. He was almost an animal, completely irrational and overcome by his own emotions, blinded by the need to be with someone he already misses.
"What can I do when you do this kind of thing, Shou, what?! I'm not strong like you, I can't help you when you're about to die, WHAT DO I DO?!" Ritsu's head was throbbing, his mouth was dry from screaming and he was shaking so much that he could fall to the ground at any moment, his strength coming only from the adrenaline caused by all the emotions that bubbled in his mind and came out of his mouth, connected to his heart.
"Ritsu-"
"CAN'T YOU EVEN TELL ME I'M WRONG?!" Silence.
Everything stopped, both boys became aware of their own actions, from the beginning of the argument, until the moment they met.
Ritsu could no longer see anything, his vision darkened by his tears, leaving only one visible figure, the red-haired boy who stood in front of him. His head hurt so much that it was as if several people were hammering it with determination, and a feeling of sadness and self-disappointment flooded his chest.
The only thing he wanted at that moment was for Shou to look him in the eye and tell him it was all a misunderstanding, that what he was searching for deep down in his mind wasn't a triumphant death, a funny accident that would take away all his pain in a few seconds. He just wanted to be able to think that Shou's fun wasn't found in death, and that at the end of all his adventures, Shou would keep coming back to him.
Perhaps from the very first day, Ritsu saw Shou's presence as directly linked to death. From the beginning, Shou carried within him a sense of destruction and uncertainty that his life would last more than a few hours. But Ritsu always trusted Shou, always there to stop him when death was almost upon him, preferring to deceive himself with the thought that Shou, now living a more peaceful life, could release the grip of death and remain by his side for eternity.
Seeing the big, fearless Shou standing there was like a bucket of cold water over Ritsu's head, reminding him that Shou wasn't running away from death, he was just moving away from it. And Ritsu couldn't push him away enough, even if he wanted to.
His desperation was palpable now, his aura affecting the entire residence, directly connected to Shou's, which carried a sense of shock and insecurity. They were both nearly exploding at the same time, their hearts pounding faster than each other, their gazes glued to each other's faces, oblivious to the sounds the utensils inside the house made as they moved through the air. The world didn't really stop for them, but it might as well have.
Shou couldn't even concentrate enough to become invisible, and his attempts would be humiliating. Running away from Ritsu meant never again being welcome in that house, perhaps even in that world. Shou could almost feel the ropes binding his limbs, burning, burning him from the inside out. He wished so much that he could become big again, tell Ritsu that everything would be okay, and make a joke that would ease the tense atmosphere. But he could do nothing, his wide eyes were almost burning, his mouth hung open, but no words came out.
The sounds of Ritsu's sniffles were the only thing he could hear. The image of Ritsu crying would live in his mind for the rest of his existence, a throbbing guilt would kill him until the end.
Ritsu felt painfully like a child, where he only talks and screams. Nothing can get better this way. Not like this.
"You'll never understand how much I love you! You won't be able to spend the rest of your life with me like you say that it's your dream, and I remember that, you said that!" His voice was still loud, still echoing and piercing Shou's heart like knives. The tears wouldn't stop, and he spoke, looking deep into Shou's soul, waiting for at least a response. Their auras touched, abruptly, raw, and genuine, like a love that burns and corrodes the bones.
Ritsu tries to get around Shou's aura, like a hug. It doesn't hurt anymore. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you too, and you know that, don't you?” His face showed a sadness that, to Shou, was like the only sadness capable of annihilating anyone with guilt.
Shou moves his aura and hugs Ritsu back using it, bringing with him a heat capable of burning, but which only warms. His aura trembled with the force of the words that were stuck in his throat, begging to be released.
"I know, Ritz." Shou's voice was hoarse, and he stuttered even as he tried to speak confidently and smile toothily. The awareness that he had been crying only sank in now, his nose running humiliatingly. He definitely looked horrible, red and ugly.
“I'm sorry for worrying you and making you feel like this, I..." The words came out and hurt, a fear haunted him for no apparent reason "...should have taken care of myself... for you too."
The atmosphere was still cold, still uncertain, but Ritsu allowed himself to trust Shou again, even though he was so worried and unhappy about everything that had happened. There was even a deep-seated anger that still lingered, perhaps killing him within hours. He had no choice but to follow Shou again, hopeful that their lives would always be linked, and where there's Ritsu, there's always Shou.
Shou can and deserves to live with Ritsu; being alive isn't torture, not anymore. He's no longer that 13-year-old boy who had no prospects in life and hoped to die heroically by stopping his father. Now, he can see a path he can follow, and Ritsu will always be by his side, walking hand in hand along the way. They were together; Shou has someone.
The boys walk toward each other slowly, simultaneously. Their arms wrap around each other; their souls, hearts, and happiness intertwined. The world was theirs, and they could go wherever they wanted, together.
"I love you too, Ritz"
"I know that, idiot"