Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

there’s a god in my head.

whose stories, carved in stone,

all stand all alone

on a world far from home.

there’s a world in my head.

it’s unexplored, almost dead.

made by a god who’s been overthrown.

what’s left of them lost to time,

forgotten by my mind

and declined by mankind.

there are people in my head,

mere dolls for me to play house.

their world is dead

and history long forgotten.

Chapter Text

spare me my grace

and spare me my soul

i’d rather die alone

than a married woman

spare me my dignity

and spare me my tears

spare me my cries

and spare me my lies

i’d rather die happy

than stuck in shackles and fear

Chapter Text

the disgust I get from every little detail

all the dirt in the soles of my shoes

every crumb that falls onto my shirt

all the grease in my hair

that gathers anytime I forget to shower

all the gum under a school desk

every print of mud a dog tracks into the house

all the grime under my nails

or someone’s feet on a table

scares me more than anything

whenever someone accidentally spits in my face as we talk

whenever someone talks as they’re eating

and don’t swallow beforehand

whenever dirty rain water splashes onto me because of a car

it all disgusts me

but my own disgust annoys me ever more

my own mistakes and mishaps

every single detail

makes me disgusted by the feeling itself

Chapter Text

everyday i see your face

as i constantly seek for your embrace.

to run through the sunsets

and see the warm summer hue,

that is what i wish to do.

through and through,

i will wait for you.

even if you bathe in the light of another life,

even through all my strife,

i will wait for you in the afterlife.

Chapter Text

Amnesia is a cruel girl

who, in her hubris, swirled the world

to her making.

Rewritten history carved in old plates

and words you don’t remember writing.

Literature lost to time,

only left to lives long dead.

Books you swear you understood

only for them to be stuck in the back

of an old abandoned library.

Faces of loved ones,

and even your own,

carved in photos yellowed by grime.

A voice so calming to your ears

now claws against your mind.

Once bitter candy dunked in sugar,

enough to give you a thousand cavities.

Memory is a bitter girl whose words cut like swords

and poems are sharp as knives.

Flowers blooming in the midst of a summer afternoon.

A childhood friend you’d never forget

no matter how many years pass.

A girl you once knew like the walls of your room.

College papers with extra credit now failed

by a name you don’t remember.

Family photos stuck in the bottom of an old moving box

that you swear you hung up.

Old contacts in your phone

tied to a person-less number.

Loss is a somber girl whose whispers are soft as snow

and screams shake the Earth.

Torn up photos thrown in the trash.

Wilting flowers left to rest

by a memorial on the side of the road.

A girl who roams the world,

whispering sickly sweet promises if you dare to follow.

A girl who haunts the world,

screaming and bashing,

a girl turned away by humanity.