Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

1. Paperwork feat. shell shock

Since before enlisting, you had no intention of fighting titans at all.

Young people around your age either dedicate their lives to humanity as soldiers or become rural workers. The only possible escape route for either of these would be marriage, but recently you are very upset about this subject and do not want to talk or think about it.

Through the window of the carriage that transports you, you look bored at the persistent rain that has been falling since morning. It's been hours since you're stuck with just yourself, unable to do anything but brood over your own life.
How many times have you visited the bad memories inside your head? The more you think about it, the more you feel ashamed of yourself, the more regretful you feel about your choices.

Thinking back, you always wanted to save yourself from the harsh life in the fields. Coming from a large family full of siblings, you are certainly tired of long tasks that require physical exertion.

Then, of course, you became a soldier. Not only because you are lazy, but your low stamina does not allow you to go too far. So much so, you couldn’t make it to the top ten of your class—you barely got the minimum score—therefore, you couldn’t join the Military Police; the most comfortable of the three divisions.

On the other hand, your written tests were pretty good. You’ve always easily dealt with things other people would find boring or tiring, like study and paper-related activities.
But then again, who needs a physically weak soldier who’s only good at writing?
Back then, you put those thoughts aside and kept moving forward.

Still running away from facing a titan, you joined the Garrison, but you never found there a place to belong—nah, no need for poetry; you just wanted a dark corner to hide in and make a military career as a low-ranking soldier for life. You knew your own limits.

But then, things happened and a series of reports started.

You were said to be so clumsy that your poor performance and the number of accidents you caused left colleagues and superiors worried but fed up.

You've been assigned several other roles, but in addition to not being able to get the job done, you've earned yourself a reputation you're not proud of, especially after a certain event that caught the attention of the high ranks.

As a final attempt to keep you with them, you were moved to another section of the Garrison, working now atop the Walls—and constantly passing out from the excessive sun.

Well… At least that's what your superiors wrote in their final report about you. You probably won't ever get a chance to tell anyone the truth.

Probably out of pity, someone suggested to your current superior officer that you could try working in the administrative field.
You were a nervous wreck, afraid of being sent back to work in the fields. So, administrative field? Sure, bring it on.

But the Garrison staff were not only satisfied with its current administrative teams; no one wanted you under their responsibility. Your fame was well known.
However, it was known that the Survey Corps had always had serious problems with paperwork and deadlines—probably due to expeditions where numerous deaths occur. Then, Garrison high ranks immediately signed the final report and kicked you out to another division.

And here you are right now; being transferred to the Survey Corps, to deal with lots of late papers and some eccentric, shell-shocked higher-ups.

Honestly, it doesn’t sound bad to you. Not bad at all, but you are sure the Garrison is just getting rid of you.
Well, good riddance to them, too. Enough of people yelling at you.

“For fuck’s sake, Erwin, look at the size of this report. If I have to read one more line of it, I’m going to have a stroke.” The short man throws the thick file on the Commander’s desk.

“To be fair, I haven’t read it thoroughly either. Instead, I believe it’s way more effective to talk to her directly.”

“You say that, but where is she?”

It's been decided that your main role is to take care of all the paperwork related to the Survey Corps' Commander, Erwin Smith. If all goes well, you will also support some of the other high ranks.
Finally arriving at the HQ, you are called to formal introductions.

Due to the rain, you’re a little late. Hips aching from the long trip, you rub them to ease the pain as you walk down the corridors, heading to the Commander's office and wondering if you will ever feel excited again. Your choices so far were driven only by your fear of tiring labor and it shames and depresses you to the point of constant mental numbness.

Entering the office, you notice that there are more people than you expected, and all the eyes are directed at you. You hear a husky male voice grumbling about you being late, so you salute and promptly apologize for the delay.

Before those combat-experienced high ranks, stands you, a simple young girl saluting them respectfully.
Even if you are in your early twenties, your face is small and delicate, with big and round eyes. Despite your own inner turmoil, you involuntarily make the cutest expressions. How different your inexperienced eyes are when compared to theirs; tired eyes that have witnessed countless dreadful deaths of close friends and subordinates.

There’s nothing great or absurd about you; you’re just a quiet person who only wants a peaceful job that pays well, so you can live by yourself and keep sending money to your family.
This nature of yours seems to be crystal-clear. Erwin gets it easily from your aura of tranquility and indifference when you timidly take a quick look at each present individual and then briefly introduce yourself.

Beside the Commander, you notice—probably because of the height difference—this short, expressionless man who looks very bored, staring at you with his arms crossed.

“I hope to be helpful to everyone.” You say in a quiet voice.

The fact that everyone is looking at you makes you uncomfortable, but the specific way the narrow, cold, and unreadable eyes of that man are locked on you while you speak makes you even more nervous. The idea of being under his inner judgment causes your face to burn in embarrassment. It doesn't help the fact that, after looking at the man for a while, you find him attractive in his own ways.

Everyone in the room introduces themselves with rank and name. You forget most of them almost immediately, but you won't ever forget the sultry ‘Lance Corporal Levi’ (oh, that voice! So, he’s the jerk who complained about you being late). And you probably won’t forget ‘Squad Leader Hanji’ either, as the woman makes your shoulders jump when she introduces herself, yelling excitedly.

Commander Erwin informs that you will be summoned by the high ranks if needed and then dismisses everyone but you.

“I will show you the most urgent documents at the moment.” He says, serious, but in such a kind and patient way you very much doubt it’s natural.

You spend the whole afternoon working in his office, really nervous since you don’t want to mess up this time. However, despite your shaking hands, you don't let on how insecure you are. Working in silence, you try to remember everything he tells you.

The night falls and you stretch and crack your joints after the last paper is finished.

“And these…” Erwin says while signing the last document and placing it on the stack. “I need you to take them to Corporal Levi”.

Your stomach gets all dizzy at the mention of his name.

“Understood.” You say calmly.

“Tell him I need them by morning. You’re dismissed after that.” the Commander lowers his eyes to another stack of papers that he just took from his drawer. You wonder if he’ll take care of those by himself.

Perhaps they’re confidential.

You leave his office, closing the door behind you and embracing the papers against your chest, heart pounding angrily.

“Calm down.” You whisper to yourself. It doesn't make sense getting all nervous, even if the guy is kind of hot. Even if the guy is kind of angry.

Trying to find his office, you walk by the long corridors looking at each closed door—all painfully identical—, wondering if it would be a good idea to knock and ask for directions.
But right then, you find an open door. Someone is working at the opposite side of the desk.

“Excuse me.” You call shyly, looking at the person’s back.

“Yes? Oh, hey there, cutie!” Hanji spins herself on the chair to look at you. “What is it?” She smiles, but you notice the fatigue all over her face. And now you can see why she’s working almost at the corner of such a large desk; where one should be normally sitting, rests on the main chair a person-sized pile of papers. Actually, the whole desk is covered with paper stacks. You shake your head to focus.

“Could you please tell me where Corporal Levi’s office is?”

“Hah, shorty?” The woman stands up and throws on the desk the papers that were on her lap, walking up to the door.

You gasp in surprise and bite your lower lip, suppressing a silly smile you are about to crack. What a way to refer to such an intimidating man.

“W… Who?” Your voice shakes, but somehow you manage to keep a serious—yet surprised—expression.

“Right there, dear.” Hanji points at a door across the hall. “Don’t get startled if he yells at you or whatever. Shorty’s kinda inspired today.” She slightly pets your head.

 “O… kay?” The word slowly leaves your mouth while you direct eyes to his door. “Well, thank you!” You smile.

Right when you turn away, she calls your name.

 “Ah, after paying a visit to him, would you mind coming here for a bit? Real quick, I promise! Or else I can’t finish that ‘til morning…” She shows her hellish desk with an open hand.

“Sure.” Your smile grows even brighter; feeling useful is kind of new to you.

But at the Corporal's door, you feel all small and nervous again.
After knocking, his muffled voice inquires your name and business.

You identify yourself with rank and name. Then clearing your throat, you try to give out some air of importance.
“Commander Erwin sent you some papers, sir.”

“… Enter.”

Is it you or does he look even more irritated now…?

Without making eye contact, you timidly enter and approach his desk. He is surrounded by many other piles of paper. Not as much as Hanji, but still. By that, you get the hint that he had already too much work and there you are, adding just another bit to his nightmare.

Wonderful.

“Excuse me.” You place the stack on some rare free spot on the desk. “Commander Erwin requested these for tomorrow morning, sir.” You say in a timid voice and then risk to peek at him.

The unexpected eye contact makes your heart skip beats. Not only due to looking at him but mainly because his expression gets darker and his lips contorts into a thin straight line.
Levi throws his weight on the backrest of his chair, crosses his legs and takes the first paper of the stack you brought, running his eyes by its lines. He visibly chews his cheek in annoyance.

“He waits for ALL of it to be done by morning.”

You can’t tell if that is an affirmation or a question or rhetoric, so you keep your mouth shut, bracing yourself for a very possible explosion. You’re already kind of used to aggressive bosses.
Preparing yourself, you look at him again, but jump internally when his eyes dart back at yours.
Noticing he opens his mouth to take a great breath to talk, you take your chance.

“I’ll help you, sir. I can stay the whole night here with you if you want me to.” You say quickly, almost tripping over your words.

Well, maybe TOO quickly so you only notice it may have sounded weird right after the words escaped your mouth. You mentally slap yourself.
Either he also thinks your words sounded weird or he is considering your offer (the non-weird one, of course) because he holds his breath and cocks an eyebrow, staring at you and saying nothing for awkward long seconds.
Then, sadly for you, he goes back to his normal self.

“Do you think I don’t need any sleep, you brat? Erwin taught you that, too?”

But even if he looks mad at it, his tone now sounds less angry to you.

Levi suddenly gets up from his chair, placing each hand at a corner of his desk, leans his body forward and looks (up) right at your eyes. It decreases the space between you since you are also standing.
You can see the light blue, almost gray, eyes of his.

“You go and tell that shitty Commander of yours to take a longer dump, because this won’t be done until the next goddamn week.” He slowly says through gritted teeth, sitting again and letting the fatigue emerge on his stoic and annoyed expression.

How charming. You blink once, trying to show no reaction.

“Sure.” You say with excessive softness.

At it, once again Levi locks his eyes with yours while not saying a single thing. However, this time it’s clear that the light blue eyes are running all over your facial features. You feel your cheeks growing hotter.

“You’re dismissed, brat. Are you waiting for a formal ceremony or what?”

You salute him and turn your ankles.

“In my office, tomorrow at 2 PM to end all this paperwork. 2 PM sharp, you hear me? Since you tend to be late for appointments.” Levi isn’t even looking at you.

“Yessir.”

You immediately head to Erwin’s. After telling him—and certainly changing some words—about Levi’s new deadline, you can almost hear the Commander giving a small chuckle.

“Next week would be troublesome, but I guess it can be delayed a bit. I count on you to assist him, then.” He says, serious, and then again lowers his eyes, concentrating on his secret papers and letting you free to go.

On the way to Hanji’s office, you think to yourself that they’re putting too much faith in you. Are they THAT desperate? It’s only your first day, after all.
However, you’ve decided to work until you drop; this is your last chance to fit somewhere as a soldier.

Before you can knock a second time, Hanji opens the door abruptly, looking at you with wide and reddish eyes. You wonder what is keeping the woman awake. Or how many days she didn’t get a proper night’s sleep.

Pulling a chair beside hers, she gestures for you to sit, already talking about what she can’t get done.
Things aren’t as simple as Hanji promised to be and after a few hours running through the tasks with her, you realize that what is preventing her work to be done is the fact that not only the woman, but everything related to her, is a mess. Starting with tea and tools all over the desk, getting the papers dirty.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” She smiles. “I’m so rushed with this, have you already done everything Erwin asked you?”

“Yes.”

“Then, how was it with Levi?” Hanji looks calmer with more than half of her desk almost organized by now.

“Oh…” You look away, nervously. “It was ok.”

“He didn’t yell at you or told you to go take a dump or…?”

By the way she is saying it, you assume he’s like that all the time.

“He yelled at the Commander. Through me.” You can’t help but chuckle.

Not a single time Levi’s insults actually bothered you. Honestly, you find it amusing that there are high ranks in the military with such childish behavior like swearing at others as he did.

Even though another few hours passed by, Hanji is still making conversation. It feels light and natural, you like her more than you thought you would.

“So, you’re what? 17? 18?”

Oh, you like it when this happens, it’s kind of exciting. Since forever people have mistaken you for a younger person.
Maybe your childish voice and face features are actually kind of childish, after all.

“I’m 22.”

“Is that so…?” She raises both eyebrows “That’s nice. I see you’re the quiet type, huh.”

“Guess so.” You shrug timidly.

“Got a boyfriend?”

Your face twists into a grimace and you look away. You’re definitely not talking about this.

“Ohh, what is this, do we have a broken heart here?” She painfully pokes your chest with the back of her fountain pen, not minding to restrain the strength put into it.

Her focus changes immediately.

“Oh, we’re done with this big boy here!” Hanji pushes aside a huge pile of papers that both of you have just finished. “Erwin is rigorous with deadlines… Don’t ever mess with him.”

“This is for this morning, right…?” You rub your eyes, feeling sleepy.

“Nah, this one I owe him since last week.”

“… What…?” You stop in the middle of a great stretch.

“Yeah, currently I don’t have much time to take care of paperwork.” Hanji isn’t even trying to make an excuse.

“But the one for this morning…”

“Next week, who knows?” She laughs very loudly, patting your back. “Whoa, it’s 1 AM already. You’re dismissed, thanks for the help.”

She’d dismissed you, but just when you are about to leave her office, Hanji starts telling you about her experiments on titans, laughing and talking loudly while leaning on the door frame. At least she looks less exhausted while at it. Maybe the pressure was making her collapse.

To help people with their papers and seeing them actually feeling relieved.
To be able to at least do that, what if you can actually keep doing it…
A door opens abruptly, revealing a very annoyed Corporal Levi.

“Shut up, shitty-glasses, I’m trying to work!” His eyes immediately focus on you, returning to Hanji right after. “What is she doing out of bed? Curfew was hours ago.” Levi is visibly angrier now.

You open your mouth as you point at Hanji’s office, but the woman pushes you to the dorms' direction and waves her hand.

“She’s going already, see? Bye!”

You don’t even look back and quickly get out of sight.

Still leaning on the door frame, Hanji crosses her arms and looks at Levi, who stares back at her.

“She’s cute, isn’t she?” Hanji teases.

He frowns, not answering.

“And she’s also legal.” She kind of sings.

Levi’s door slams shut. Hanji giggles and heads back to her office.

In the dorm you share with three other girls who you still don’t know, you throw yourself on your bed, feeling all anxious and insecure and excited and everything, but despite it all, you manage to sleep fairly soon due to exhaustion.

What a new feeling.

2. Pretty blood

In the morning, you go to the mess hall for breakfast. Everything is new, so you don’t stop darting your eyes around.
Mentally cursing yourself for looking for the Corporal, you find him sitting at the Commander’s side, chatting naturally with his bored expression.

‘So, they ARE friends.’ You think while heading to a free table. You could just sit with someone, but you still don’t know anyone. Even if you do get along with people in general, you rarely take the initiative to talk to a new face.

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice both Erwin and Levi looking at your direction while you sit.

You try your best not to make any mess while eating since you can feel Levi staring at you from time to time.
But hey, you’re kinda clumsy, so you drop food once or twice on your lap.

The next activity is training. Some of your old colleagues pass by you on the corridor that leads to the training field. The whole thing makes you nervous; everyone who ever trained with you in those awful three years knows very well your ‘talents’ concerning physical activities. If only it was some hit-and-run, you’d have a chance.

It doesn’t take even ten seconds to the guy who you’re paired with to flip you and leave the poor secretary upside down on the ground.
God, how you hate physical effort.
Between laughs and mean comments, you see a lean figure approaching you.

“What are you doing, cadet?” Asks a very displeased and monotone voice.

“Sir…!” All dirtied from the ground, you roll over to get up, then notice his grimace when looking at your condition. “Training, sir.” You try to fix your hair, barely breathing. A light sting on your cheek lets you know you bruised it enough to bleed a little.

“Training…” He repeats and slowly blinks once. You can’t help but gulp. “The Garrison's report warned to keep you away from anything beyond walking and breathing, otherwise you might get yourself killed.”

There’s laughing in mockery from the other cadets, so you look at your own feet, embarrassed.

The face you’ve unintentionally put on must be really adorable and pitiful because Levi lets out a very small sound out of surprise from the back of his throat—though you don't notice it. He discreetly clears his throat and goes back to his stoic behavior.

Still looking down, you feel the back of his index finger roughly grazing the wound on your face, probably checking how deep the scratch is. You don't wince, but lightly squeeze your eyes in reflex due to the pain. Not daring to look at him, you shyly peek at your own blood on his finger. The Corporal looks somewhat interested in it as well.
It takes him a few moments to look away from it.

Levi clicks his tongue.

“Take a damn bath and come to my office, cadet. I need a hand with that shitload of papers.” He says dryly and leaves the training camp while looking at his finger again and muttering complaints about it being dirty.

It isn’t even 10 AM, but you run to the collective showers as fast as you can, not even caring about the excessively hot water.

You understand that Levi can hurt when he wants to, so you won’t give that cutie another chance to do so.

‘What?’ You cover your face with a hand, barely feeling the hot water burning your shoulders and back. ‘Cutie?’
Fancying a superior officer you just met yesterday… Oh, no good, no good at all. You give yourself light slaps on your cheeks, trying to get these thoughts out of your mind, the cut on your cheek stinging in revenge.

Running to his office while adjusting your white shirt, you realize that the water was probably hotter than you thought because your shoulders’ skin is feeling kind of numb. You didn’t even dry your hair properly; it still looks a bit wet.

You knock and answer your name and business when inquired, entering right after.
Once closing the door behind you, it doesn’t escape your acknowledgement that Levi is looking at you with shocked, wide eyes, his mouth slightly hanging open as you approach his desk.

Levi blinks a few times before breathing again and clearing his throat, then returning to his bored expression. He orders you to sit in the chair in front of his desk.

The thing is: you can’t see it, but your neck, the tip of your nose and your cheeks are extravagantly red from the water’s high temperature. Your shoulders are visible under your white shirt—you even forgot to wear your jacket.
Apart from that, your scalded skin and hair are emanating a strong perfume of soap, probably because you haven’t rinsed it enough due to your hurry.

Levi seems to be avoiding looking up at you while briefly explaining his paperwork.

Once the minutes go by, you feel a little more at ease, enough to peek at him sometimes. The daylight allows you to see more details of his natural beauty from the angle you are looking.

You like his hands. Even if calloused by years of holding blades, they have a nice shape. And for a small person, he has long fingers.

By the flawless office and his whole appearance, you figure out Levi is a very clean and organized person.

Even if both of you barely talk to each other during the whole afternoon, he always manages to insult you when he speaks, which you totally ignore and usually give him a gentle answer instead.

When feeling even more at ease, you risk once or twice a discreet taunt comeback disguised as a polite answer. You are sure he gets all of them, and he looks kind of satisfied with your sophisticated bad manners, showing his approval by cocking an eyebrow or distractedly humming, but never looking at you.

The redness of your body had gone away a long time ago, but Levi feels it’s wiser not to look at you unless necessary.

You aren’t afraid of asking him what you don’t understand from the paperwork but sometimes you ask things you already know just to make him talk to you. His voice is deep and controlled; it’s nice to hear, even if in his bored tone.

And then, you notice how long his eyelashes are. Ah. Cute.

He isn’t perfect, this for sure, to begin with his personality, but these tiny details of his are nice.

Losing yourself in thoughts while finding these cute details seems to consume your attention for a time you can’t exactly measure.
Somehow, you are suddenly looking at his pale thin lips, crisped into a line due to his concentration.

‘How old is he?’ You slowly think, being unable to look away from his mouth.

Levi’s eyes dart at your direction, obviously noticing your long stare. You jump in shock and return to work immediately.

“I’m sorry, I spaced out.”

He does not answer, but clicks his tongue when looking at the next paper.

“Sit here.” Without taking his eyes off the paper, he shakes his head to the side, indicating you to sit beside him. “This one is a pain in the ass and you need to be careful with these topics. Erwin makes a scandal if you mess them up.” Levi explains as you shyly bring your chair close to him. He stops mid-sentence when glancing at the untidy collar of your shirt.

“This has been bothering me since you got here, you sloppy brat…” He grimaces at it. “Didn’t you learn how to dress properly?”

The Corporal runs his hand over his face in annoyance while you clumsily try to adjust it.
Frustrated with your inability, he clicks his tongue and abruptly grabs you by your collar with both hands and fixes it, but accidentally slides the side of his index fingers on your neck in the process.

You visibly shudder at the sudden contact and by how it tickles, blushing helplessly and shrinking yourself.
Levi instantly regrets his actions, also getting startled but he isn’t exactly sure about what.

The Corporal pretends he didn't notice your reaction but he mentally scolds himself, fingers pressing the bridge of his nose for the following seconds.

“Dress up correctly, you’re not a child. Now, did you understand this?” He indicates the paper on the desk with an open hand, returning to his stoic behavior.

“Yes, I did.” You start with your voice almost in a whisper. “I think I can do it by myself. So, it’s ok if you want to leave this one to me from now on.”

“Good.”

The afternoon is ending and you two pass another hour in silence. Somehow, he brings back the painful topic that the Garrison kicked you, probably to mock you again.

“I know my limits. Maybe military life isn’t for me, but I like being here and dealing with the oh-so-hated paperwork.”

“Yeah, since you can’t run for ten meters straight without smashing that head of yours on the ground.” Levi says, distracted by his paper.

Maybe you just forgot that you are talking to the scary Lance Corporal Levi, because you can’t help yourself; you giggle. A sincere and defenseless giggle that you try to stop by covering your mouth with one hand.
Levi goes stiff; you can not tell since you are trying to stop yourself from being a goof in front of a superior officer.
He grabs a stack of paper he had finished before and throws it on your lap.

“Shove these down Erwin's throat.” Levi says while returning his eyes to his desk work. “And bring tea when you're back.”

“What kind of tea, sir?” You ask promptly.

“One you don’t make taste like shit.”

“Sure.”

While delivering the papers you put some thoughts in order.

Commander Erwin is very organized. The cause of his problems is, in fact, too much work for a single person.

Hanji is a mess. Food, drinks, tools, papers and suspicious vials; all mixed up and all over her desk. She also doesn’t attend to deadlines too religiously. It looks like her assistant, Moblit, needs an assistant himself.

Levi appears to be organized and serious about work. Despite having almost as much work as Erwin, maybe paperwork isn’t exactly his deal. Hmm, thinking again, as a matter of fact, you are sure he hates paperwork with all of his heart.

Over the next few days, you work with other people. One of them is Mike, whose behavior shocks you at first. Did he just…?! He smelled you right now, didn't he?! Is there at least one sane person in this place?

But despite the weird first impression, he is pretty nice and reserved. You like him when he does not invade your personal space with that nose of his.

You usually keep a healthy distance from other people. The idea of people touching you with no restraints makes you uncomfortable. This isn’t for nothing, but you just can’t talk to other people about it.
However, you manage to casually tell that to Levi. It surprises you that he looks sincerely, yet discreetly, interested in it.

By day you pass by many offices, assisting the high ranks. And maybe you are being too useful because during breakfast they often stop by your table and request your help for later.
This is so recurrent, that Erwin organizes a weekly schedule so everyone can have your assistance without burdening you too much—and without using his booked time with you. Yes, Hanji, he is looking at you.

Two weeks pass by and it's rare when you have to go through the night working in someone’s office (ahem, usually Hanji).

The ones who you spend time the most with are the Commander, Levi, and Hanji.
You treasure the time you spend with Levi, even if there is no talk for hours or just instructions, you like being around him. And maybe you are just imagining it, but he looks less bothered by your presence as well. You suppose this is happening because you are now in charge of the papers he hates the most. Not so much of a nuisance anymore, huh?

It is an exhaustive but nice routine once you learn how to deal and behave with each one of them.

But the thing with Levi doesn't get any better. That stupid crush of yours isn’t just by his appearance per se anymore; you kind of have fun with the bitterness of his taunts now.

He seems to like testing how far you can discreetly comeback him. You never actually get offended by the insults or teasing; most of them don't sound as if he is really meaning it at all.

And even if you always manage to answer him properly, your heart angrily pounds against the walls of your chest every single time he gets too close or stops his eyes on you without saying a word.

He never smiles, but you honestly believe he may have a reason for that, apart from his ‘natural’ bitter personality and the amount of work he gets. You eventually try saying a silly thing when you notice he’s in a good mood—in the Corporal’s own ways—to see if Levi has an interesting reaction, but all you get is a kind of amused expression from him. You usually regret doing this kind of thing when considering he may be internally having fun with how stupid you are.

You usually make notes of important things in a notebook that you always carry with you. There, it’s written down your schedule, the amount of time you spend in each office, the time you finish your work and go to sleep, and so on.
With another week going by, your notebook's stats worry you, so you report it to Erwin; on the nights you spent supporting a superior, it often ended with you returning too late to your shared dorm and annoying or scaring your three colleagues who were trying to get proper and immaculate sleep.

Erwin knows you're not making things up for an extra benefit.
A few days later, you are transferred to a room all for yourself, similar to the ones the high ranks have—but this one doesn’t have an attached bathroom, so you still have to bathe in the public showers for female cadets.

Near the window, there is a small desk in the corner of the room, so you can deal with the extra paperwork you are in charge of. The room is small and pretty much simple but it is comfortable and the sensation of freedom from merely being there, able to do your stuff when you want, makes you very satisfied.
You smile at Erwin, who is showing you the place, always followed by a certain work skipping Corporal.

The only thing that worries you is that the Commander gives you a single key to your room. Knowing your own clumsiness all too well, you’re afraid of losing the key. So, holding it apprehensively as you stand in front of the door, you fail to notice Erwin and Levi silently exchanging glances behind you.

3. Interrupted expedition

“I’ll give it a thought later.” Erwin says absently, putting a sheet of paper aside after signing it. This annoying set of confidential files has been giving him a headache since early morning. If only he could dump it on someone and get rid of it…

“Do it now.” Standing in front of the Commander’s desk, Levi crosses his arms.

“Well, as you can see, I’m kind of busy at this very moment.”

“You’re the Commander, you’ll always be busy.” He scoffs. “It’s useless to keep her attending training. She sucks at it and could be using the time to work in the offices instead of being flipped to the ground for nothing.”

“It’s not for nothing; training is training. She went through three years of that.”

“She’s forbidden to wield blades, for fuck’s sake. What is she going to do? Stick a fountain pen into a titan’s nape?” Levi ignores Erwin’s sigh. “Shitty-glasses keeps using the girl’s time more than scheduled, those two hours will make a difference. Just fill out the damn paper that exempts her from training at once.”

“We’ll talk in a moment, this paper is really urgent.”

“No. Do it.”

“Just let me finish this docu—”

“Now, Erwin. Now!”

For reasons you don’t understand, you are no longer attending training with other cadets—passing near the window, you calmly flip off the cadets training outside, who don’t even see you there.
Now that you no longer have unnecessary physical contact with men (hm?), your daily activities after breakfast are mostly at the offices, but you eventually clean something up when asked. And, apparently, the high ranks get used to being spoiled very quickly; oh, the sad faces when you arrive at their offices without tea…!

Hanji usually chats with you when running into you in the corridors or in the mess hall, but she soon goes to sit with her own squad.

Despite having friendly interactions with everyone, you still don’t feel like you socially fit there. Workplace isn’t a place for friends, but you kind of would like having someone to talk about unimportant stuff while eating or cleaning.

Very rarely, Levi’s squad members exchange a few words with you just to make conversation and establish some contact.
Uh, but you could swear that small ginger girl called Petra is pretty clingy to Levi. It makes you feel uncomfortable and you aren’t sure of how to deal with these feelings. Despite that, she is very gentle toward you and there is no real reason to dislike her.

Your current condition is so much better now, that you are starting to feel more confident and a little more talkative.
A new thing is going to happen in a few days but you don’t pay much attention to it; the new trainees are going to graduate and the Survey Corps will receive a small number of new soldiers. It only sounds like more paperwork to you—though you have no complaints about that.

❖

A scheduled expedition happens, so most of the soldiers—including Levi and his squad—go to Wall Maria by morning.

You don’t know exactly what to do, so you use your free time after finishing your own papers to walk around the headquarters, exploring the building.

Going to places you usually don't go due to your routine, you find a library. Mesmerized by how big it is and by the tall, overstocked bookcases, you spend your afternoon getting to know the sections and looking for something that may draw your attention. The sound of you turning the pages is the only noise in that large room. It’s obviously crowded during normal days, but you feel like you'd just discovered a precious secret place.

In the afternoon, the ground starts to shake constantly for a long time, making a shiver go through your spine. You don’t know at the time, but the whole situation in Trost just started to happen.
You don’t leave the building, helping when requested, though there’s not much to do since things are happening far from there.

The commotion lasts until late afternoon, when you hear people saying everything is ok now and gossiping about a trainee that intended to join the Survey Corps. Apparently, this kid can shift himself into a titan or something like that.

Wow. Things are getting wild. You sigh and think to yourself that there is always something unpredictable about to burst out of the blue.
While putting a book back into the shelf, you wonder if you shouldn’t be more concerned about the things that happen. You have always struggled against humans; conflict with titans feels so distant and detached from your life, almost like a myth.

The deaths caused in the incident result in a bunch of reports to do, but your detachment has limits: there’s no way you would complain about this kind of work; people’s lives and deaths are important. It’s part of your work to honor them with your service.

There is too much for you to do on your own when the high ranks return, so you anticipate the documents as much as possible in the next few days.

Everyone returns to the headquarters.

Relieved to see Levi and the others again, alive, you silently observe people reestablishing themselves in the building.
And then, you see him; a boy in cuffs escorted by Erwin and Levi. The boy is tall, maybe taller than you, but you sure can tell he is younger than he looks.

You notice his wild and dangerous—yet confused—turquoise eyes looking at everything, everyone.
Yeah, you were like that a few days ago.

Levi looks at you observing everything from afar.
Your eyes are inexpressive, analyzing, fixed on the boy, much doing a bet that he is the kid who can turn himself into a titan.

Hanji passes running in their direction, she is… Yelling? Crying? Laughing?
Whatever it is, it scares the boy even more, but he looks relieved to see her. Erwin frees him from the handcuffs, saying that they aren’t necessary anymore; that it was just a measure to make people feel safer out there while watching him walking into the HQ.
The whole building is in too much mess, running and yelling. It makes you uncomfortable and tense, so you return to your room to work and wait for everything to be settled by morning.

You wake up when the cold morning comes. After a bath you head to the mess hall for breakfast, as usual.

Hanji is sitting at a table with the turquoise-eyed boy you saw yesterday.
She calls you when her eyes catch your shy figure silently entering the room.
You still don’t know how to feel about the kid, but seeing him in a clean uniform, looking rested and looking like the human teenager he is, makes you feel not so threatened by him anymore. Apparently, there is no need to be so defensive about him.

“This is Eren!” Hanji looks way too happy for your taste.

“Hi, Eren.” You give him a very soft and discreet smile and tell him your name.

He smiles, somewhat relieved.
Maybe you look like a normal person to him—someone HAS to be normal there, honestly… Or maybe it’s because you look at him as if seeing a normal person. Maybe it is what he needs.

“Sit with us, my dearest secretary!” Hanji points to a chair.

“Ah, no, thank you.” You start, but she pulls you down by your clothes and you fall abruptly on a chair. “… Okay.”

You like Hanji, but since yesterday she has been way too noisy and excited, and you have the feeling it has something to do with Eren.

Peeking at the kid, you see he has a slightly tanned skin and dark brown hair. It fits well with his eyes. He is shy and doesn't talk much.
Eren is the only new soldier there. The trainees that chose to join the Survey Corps will arrive in a day or two.

Hanji and Eren are talking, distracted. You peek at Commander’s table, where Levi is sitting.
Levi waits for you to look away to finally glance directly at you. Before this, he was observing the whole scene out of the corner of his eye.

While talking to Eren about a lot of things you don’t pay attention to, Hanji points at you. “and her work is to help us with paperwork.”

Oh, she is talking about you.
You mentally laugh at suddenly being aware that you work for everyone there. Too many bosses to only one secretary.
A lean figure approaches the table you are sitting.

“Oi, brat.” Levi calls.

“Yes.” Looking at him, you and Eren answer in unison.

Ah.

Well, this is awkward.

You and Eren look at each other in confusion. Hanji raises her eyebrows at Levi and he frowns.
Until then, you hadn’t realized that when in public, Levi always addresses you by ‘cadet’, while ‘brat’ only happens in his office.

You clear your throat, looking away, and having the feeling that your face is turning red.

“Yeager, Erwin wants you in his office. Now. You too, shitty-glasses.”

“Her as well, I suppose?” Hanji asks while getting up and pointing at you with her thumb.

Levi blinks once.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” He says in a grunt before turning his back, glancing angrily at Eren—who winces in fear, remembering the painful previous day in court.

At Erwin’s office, most of the people who you work for are present and the brief meeting has everyone standing. You don’t pay too much attention to what Erwin says; things that do not concern or directly affect you. Instead, you give Commander’s desk a glance, seeing all the paperwork that accumulated during his absence the last few days.
You scream internally at the sight.

But then, the subject changes to Eren. It only gets your attention when Hanji talks about the experiments that she is planning to make on him.

So that’s the reason for her excitement. You feel bad for him. Not only for everything about turning into a titan, experiments and stuff, but because people are seeing him merely as a tool. Maybe nothing else beyond it.

Just then you get the reason why you are attending that meeting; if Hanji will perform experiments on the boy, the documentation about them will also be under your care. You and Moblit will take care of the whole paperwork.
It is at least funny that she has access to two assistants and yet her papers are a mess.

You hear the following things Erwin says about Eren being under Levi’s responsibility, which makes you understand that you will interact pretty much with the boy. You also discover he is 15.
Just 15.

For sure you feel threatened by the fact that he can turn into a titan and not always have control over it, but his whole condition makes you totally let your guard down.
It is known that he will go through many terrible things.
Even more so when you find out what happened in court. You got to know Levi well enough in the past month to be aware that he will bring Eren under a harsh grip. No wonder why he is so weepy and trembling when around the Corporal.

You are all dismissed. I mean… Everyone except you. The Commander’s desk can’t even contain its papers anymore and there you are, going to help him.

“Oh, I thought you’d bring tea with you.” Erwin gives you an amiable smile to show you how disappointed in you he is. It sends shivers down your spine.

Not even both of you can tame that paper beast at once, so Erwin dismisses you near in the middle of the afternoon and you are going to continue it tomorrow; he has other things to settle—there he goes again, opening his drawer and taking out his secret papers.

Sneaking into the kitchen, you eat something since you skipped lunchtime to work with Erwin, and go outside to get some fresh air before someone calls you; the schedule needs yet to be rearranged because of the expedition, so the first one to find you, gets you.

After a minute or two walking, you see Eren feeding the horses.
You stop walking and observe him for a while, losing yourself in your thoughts. The whole thing about experiments messed you up really bad.

At a certain moment, Eren notices your presence there, looking at him. He runs up to you, calling you by your name and smiling.

“Hi!” He says, a little out of breath when reaching you.

“Hi there, Eren.” You answer, asking yourself if it was ok that he just called you by your first name. Both of you have the same rank, so you guess it’s fine.

You have no intention to start a conversation but he appears to be craving to talk to someone.
Both of you sit under a tree near the horses and keep a comfortable distance.
He talks for the most time. You eventually answer a thing or two that he asks about you or the HQ. You let him talk as much as he wants, believing that he needs to have a normal conversation with someone who doesn't want to dissect nor kill him.

When the subject turns to ‘Levi’, you smile internally.
As opposed to what you thought before, Eren adores Levi. Nice thing to know.

You tell him that Levi has that terrible way of being himself but he is actually really patient and almost easy to deal with once one gets to know him better.
You gently and shyly smile at Eren while saying it to him.

Maybe it’s a trick of the light, but you can swear his cheeks are changing to a light tone of pink.
Believing that you’ve had enough break, you say goodbye to Eren and leave.

Walking through the corridors you find Levi crossing arms and leaning on the wall next to his door, visibly displeased.

“Skipping work with the brat, brat?” He says slowly, giving a special nuance to the last ‘brat’, obviously referring to the breakfast occurrence.

So, he saw you and Eren. By his window, certainly.

“I was on my break, sir.” You explain meekly but not giving him any other justification.

Levi narrows his eyes and clicks his tongue. He is getting mad, you can tell.

“I’m free right now, do you need me, sir?” Again, you notice it may sound weird only after speaking, but you hope Levi is already used to your bad talent at choosing words. You just want to spend some time with him.
He slightly opens his mouth to speak but then closes it, rethinking.

“No.”

The way you look disappointed must be really graphic to him since he rolls his eyes back in annoyance.

“Bring me tea.” He says through gritted teeth.

“Right away, sir.” Containing your happiness, you give him a little smile before heading to the kitchen.

However, after you place the tea on his desk you are dismissed. It hurts you a little. He isn’t obliged to accept your help but you feel like he did it for being mad at you.

Going to Hanji’s office, you find it empty. Moblit passes by and tells you that she is now doing experiments on Eren. You grimace while trying to suppress a shudder.

Hanji usually makes experiments in another room, which has a cell on it. You call it her second office. Personally, you find that place terribly creepy. They also do experiments outside when no one is training.

Erwin had dismissed you and no one else had looked for you so far. Before someone does, you decide to run to your new hiding place.
Indeed the library is a bit more crowded than before, but still, it doesn't look like lots of cadets go there on a daily basis.

There are infinite genres of books, though mostly about serious, scientific research. But your personal liking is the fiction ones, and there is a fair amount of them in a single, small corridor of shelves. The books aren't exactly in good conservation, but it, somehow, adds a charming effect on them.
Without noticing, you spend the afternoon in that corridor, leaning your shoulders on the shelves, reading while standing. You could sit at one of the many tables there, but inexplicably there is something really comfortable about being between those shelves, surrounded by books and silence. It feels like you are alone in the whole world.

When noticing the afternoon is coming to its end, you leave the library, take a long and relaxing shower and lazily walk to the mess hall for dinner.

Until a few minutes ago, you were distracted by fictional worlds and fictional people with fictional problems. But now, back to reality, your cloudy and rainy mood strikes back and it is Levi’s fault for refusing your help and, therefore, your company.

Not that you believe that he knows how much it hurts you, or that he cares about it at all, but it seems like he is… Punishing you…? You never hid enjoying being there and helping him.

You barely touch your food, not only because of Levi, but you’re still feeling disgusted by the idea of everyone using and treating Eren as a tool. The goddamn experiments thing still haunts your mind so much that you are getting angry at it. Eren is just a kid. Despite the tiny detail of him, like, killing twenty titans while in titan form—you internally laugh at this thought—, he looks like a warm-hearted boy, respectful and gentle.

Speaking of Eren, he isn’t there in the mess hall, nor is Hanji.

‘Hanji is going to kill him…’ You sigh.

Returning to your room, you feel silly for being sad only because Levi dismissed you.
Throwing your tired being on the bed, you pull the covers and hold the pillow into a strong and long hug.

There’s a knock at the door. Hesitantly opening it, you see a cadet. He informs you that a Garrison soldier is demanding to speak to you. It surprises you, it’s really late, after all.
Going into the main hall, you see a former colleague of yours at the door; she doesn’t want to come in as she intends to be brief. Well, you guys were just distant colleagues.

Heading to his room, Levi crosses the main hall and sees you talking to this girl.

“I think you should know about this.” She says seriously and it’s the only thing the Corporal can hear.

Taking one last look at you putting a hand to your head—as if not believing what you heard—, Levi continues on his way and leaves the main hall.

4. Eren Yeager

The next day, after breakfast, the first thing you do with no doubt is to help Erwin. You two barely talk now; he just casually asks how you are doing and if you have any questions.

Leaving his office, you hear Eren calling you. Looking at him running up to you while wearing an excited smile makes you wonder if Eren has anything to do with the Corporal’s bad mood.

“Hello, Eren.” You nod while speaking. You try to limit some extra contact with him to create a healthy distance between not only both of you but also any other soldier. Especially the new ones, usually pretentious.

“The new soldiers just got here, I want you to meet my friends!” He says, trying to control both his breath and smile.

“Oh, sure.” You smile and follow him.

Eren introduces you to Armin and Mikasa, his childhood friends. If you didn’t miss any information that he told you, the girl is kind of a sibling of his.
Armin timidly answers your ‘nice to meet you’ while Mikasa only nods and hums, then immediately directs her attention to Eren, fixing his hair and asking how things went in the past two days. He is bothered by it and struggles under her touch, yelling that he is not her son.

You wait there until Armin and Mikasa start talking to each other so you can discreetly speak to Eren in a quiet tone, close to his ear. Maybe way too close.

“You weren’t in the mess hall for dinner yesterday, is everything ok?” You speak in such a quiet voice it sounds almost like a whisper.

At the proximity, Eren holds his breath and blush a little, but you can’t tell exactly what for.

“Y-yeah… Hanji just tested a few things but I got too tired and slept through the rest of the night.”

“I see.” Satisfied—though not relieved—with the answer you got, you take a step back to create again a comfortable distance.

You take a look at the new fellow soldiers, observing their behaviors and tendencies. You feel a little distracted today. That visit from last night definitely didn’t make you any good.
A boy taller than Eren approaches him. His mere presence alerts you that the kid is trouble.

“Hey, Yeager.” His tone is teasing and he is wearing a smug smile on his lips.

“What are you doing here, Jean? Weren’t you going to the Military Police?” Eren is angry all of a sudden. It startles you. Where’s the sweet kid?

Having so many siblings allows you to accurately predict what will happen in the next few moments, so you quickly walk away from there, hearing their screams getting louder with every two steps you take.

Crossing the main hall again, you see Hanji trying to balance three cups of tea.

“Yo, thank you!!” Hanj smiles energetically when you help her. “We didn’t find you so Erwin asked me to get the tea…” She pouts.

You help her bring the tea to Erwin's office.
Opening the door, you see Erwin and Levi.
Levi obviously didn’t expect to see you and this is clear when his eyes widen at you before returning to his indifferent expression.

Since the moment the door was open, Hanji hadn’t stopped talking for an only holy second. You and Hanji place the cups on Erwin’s desk and the three of them take a sip, while you don’t know if you should stay there or leave to find someone to help.

Whatever they were talking about before you got there doesn’t seem to be of your business, as Levi gives a small nod to the Commander—dismissing himself—and heads to the door.

“Office.” He says as he walks past you and opens the door, taking the cup with him.

Your heart skips a beat.

“I’m coming, just have to take my noteb—” You start, but he slams the door shut.

You salute Erwin and Hanji, grab your notebook from your room and then run to Levi’s office.

Opening the door after knocking, the first thing you notice is the amount of paper on his desk. You bite your bottom lip, suppressing the evil smile you want to crack so badly it makes your lips quiver.

Pretending you aren’t aware of his exasperation, you place your chair beside him—what you usually don’t do. Your usual seat is in front of him, across the desk.

Levi isn’t exactly the kindest when talking to you, but by his current behavior and harsh words and insults you can tell he is actually mad. And it’s at you.
The only thing you did out of usual was chatting with Eren in your free time, so you deduce he got angry at it…?

Come to think of it, in front of others Levi doesn’t spare you his rudeness, but that doesn’t mean you don’t mind being publicly mistreated. Although, to be fair, when comparing the way he treats the other cadets, he doesn't verbally abuse you as much, but your heart and pride are easily hurt.

So, Levi is punishing you.

In fact, you're getting very frustrated over something you're not even sure about. Maybe you've just woken up with the feeling that your evil side is stronger today.
The perks of being a restrained and well-behaved person are that people don't expect you to take advantage of them and actually make sure you're doing so.

The only time the two of you had any meaningful physical contact was on the second day. It was just a little accidental finger bruise on your neck, but he looked pretty distraught about it.
For you to plan using this kind of thing just to annoy him… Damn it, apparently your crush is getting even worse. Not to mention your ugly heart.

Levi is already tense since you dragged your chair by his side.
The Corporal is left-handed. Too bad, you have to reach the ink across the desk because you’re sitting by his right side.
You tilt yourself all over his arms on the desk and grab the small container, obviously getting in the way of his paper. Your shoulder and hair almost bruise on his nose.
Levi sure wasn’t expecting your sudden move and is surprised when you do it.

“What are you doing…?” He sibilates as you return to your seat.

“Ink, sir.” Even if you know that your silly cute faces work better when they occur naturally, you put a small and shy smile on your lips, returning to your paper right after.

It takes a while, but he also runs out of ink and tries to get the container with his right hand without getting so much in your way.
You snatch it first with your left hand.

“Let me pass it to you, sir.” You cynically pretend a distracted voice and without taking your eyes from your paper, you slowly, but firmly, slide the back of your left hand against the back of his right one, as if you had missed the aim to deliver the ink to his hand.
It’s so silly. The friction between the skin of your hands feels rather nice, though it lasts only for a mere moment.
However, that does it.

He jolts as he tries to suppress a very low whimper in the back of his throat.
Levi isn’t a person who touches people regularly, just like you. For some reason, he restrains himself of unnecessary physical contact and you got it by observing him—more than you are proud to admit.

What did you expect? It makes him even angrier, and you know it’s because he was caught off guard. And touched.
You aren’t sure anymore if you are trying to irritate or embarrass him. But your heart is beating so hard and so fast, it’s almost hurting. Seeing him flustered like that makes your lower half get way warmer than it should.

He aggressively takes the container from your hand and slams it on the desk—yet trying to pretend nothing happened—, and then strongly runs his left hand over his face, like he is counting to ten or something like that.

His hand stops at his chin, where he supports it. Without moving his face, the Corporal sighs hard between his fingers, looking at you by the corner of his eyes.
Aware of his look you also pretend nothing happened and continue your work without taking your eyes off the papers, but the color of your cheeks accuses you so badly…

You can’t tell anymore if he is angry because he liked it or because he hated it. He probably is the type of person that reacts the same way in both cases.

“Would you like more tea, sir?” You ask without looking away from your paper.

You can hear him gritting his teeth. What a delightful sensation of power.

“No.” He forces himself to answer you, voice somewhat husky.

‘Wow’ You think to yourself. Is he really THAT affected by it? Well, you are because you’re silly and sloppy and kind of have a crush on him. But that was just an ~accidental~ innocent touch; so, either he is too disgusted by it or too pleased.
It’s difficult to pinpoint which one.

Levi is tense when you approach your face to his, as if observing him.

“You don’t look well, sir. May I leave so you can rest?” You ask in a quiet voice, in the sweetest tone you're able to pull off.

This is beyond any revenge; you feel like you deserve to clean the stables for a week. And then, you feel bad for using the meaningless misunderstanding from yesterday as an excuse for what you wanted to do regardless of reasons. Yet, torturing him like that is so much fun…

“… Whatever.”

You salute him and leave, so the last thing that would be recorded in his memory is the recent incident.
You feel both satisfied and guilty for doing this kind of thing on purpose.
While a very silly, innocent and simple gesture, you used it to provoke him, trying to manipulate him and cause the man to show reactions.

On the other hand, it seems too stupid that the idea of a quick touch to be able to shake a grown-ass man so much. So, you try to stop blaming yourself and return to work in your room until someone looks for you.

But you don’t know how much it is bothering Levi and how much he is in conflict right now, trying not to think of weird things about a young and innocent girl while she is there; sitting right in front of him with that silly smile of hers.

Once he doesn’t touch people too often, the innocent friction of skin when your hands brushed felt too exquisite to him, making it even harder to contain his thoughts.
Your skin was soft and warm.
Levi mentally scolds himself for getting so aroused from an innocent, accidental touch.

In the following days, your contact with Levi becomes awkward; he barely looks at you, sometimes ignores your questions and dismisses you much earlier than usual, just using an hour or two of your time.
It makes you sad but this time it doesn’t look like a punishment; he is kind of troubled, even if it is not so clear under his stoic expression.

Eren runs up to you at least once a day to chat a little. You are grateful for that; after all, you longed for someone to talk about silly stuff.
Because of your work with Moblit on the documentation of Eren’s whole state and experiments, you discover a few things about the boy; he has a very short temper, is impulsive and-oh-my-God killed two adults when he was just 9. WHERE’S THE SWEET KID?

However, you forget even about those things when talking to him. He’s energetic and spontaneous but still passes the image of a gentle, timid, and silly young boy while you talk.

“So, you have your own room? Even being just a cadet?” Eren is amazed.

“Fancy, right?” You make fun of it.

“Yeah. But you see, I also got my own room.”

"How come…?"

Both of you laugh after you realize he is talking about his room in the basement; basically, a cell.

Doing the paperwork with Moblit while Hanji does her black magic on Eren, updates you about the whole experiment and its results. You never talk about it to anyone, but you are aware of everything. It makes you wonder, by the way, if you should be having contact with such a sensitive document. Isn’t Hanji trusting you too much?

Levi dismisses your help permanently. You get sad at it but so busy that you don’t have time to sulk around.

A few days later, you see an extremely tired Levi in the corridors being questioned by Erwin if he is ok and why he dismissed you. You hide to listen.

“I just don’t need her help right now. I can take care of my own paperwork” He grunts.

Even if Levi had dismissed you permanently, Erwin still has papers to be delivered to him.

Well, at least this works as an excuse for you to see him.
When walking to his door, you see it open and carefully walk in, announcing your presence.
Levi is sitting at his desk, while Petra is standing beside him, pointing something on the paper he is working on.

The tea she is placing on his desk and the untouched chair in front of it gives you the hint that she is just delivering his drink and stopped by to explain something.
Petra smiles at you when you approach Levi’s desk. The Corporal, however, frowns—yet you can see he is a little tense.

Just then, it occurs to you.

What if Levi is in a relationship with her? She is always with him during meals, so clingy and talkative. You have been fancying and ~accidentally~ touching a committed man.

Oh, goodie! You’re worthless trash.

Damn…

Yes, of course, relationships inside the military are forbidden, but it’s not because people are forbidden to do something that they don’t do anyway.

A few things start to make sense to you after this thought.

Are you stupid or what? Why didn’t you check it before? Have you forgotten what you went through? You promised yourself!

Then, you are feeling down and can’t help but sulk for the next few days.

So much so that after three days you are still feeling detached from reality. As if you weren't already apathetic enough, now there’s this.

After helping Erwin, you go to take a break outside while having an internal conflict that has been consuming you for the last few days, making you feel both guilty and jealous.
The new cadets are at their training time, so you observe them from afar, hands tucked into your pockets. Eren runs up to you.

He calls your name very cautiously since he saw you being grumpy during the past days.

“Hey, Eren.” You say in a distracted voice.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just tired.”

“Are you sure? Don’t you have any fever or…?” He places his hand on your forehead.

Eren always touches people naturally by what you observed, but he never touched you before and he himself is pretty much aware of that.
You see him getting a little bit tense while checking your temperature.

“I’m fine, thank you.” You say gently when he puts his hand down.

“Yeager, stop making out with your girlfriend and come back to training.” Jean approaches you.

Jean appears to love teasing Eren. And Eren is always so ready to fall for it…

“Shut up, Jean.” Eren turns to him. “… And she is not my girlfriend.” He mumbles the last part.

Even if he has his back turned to you now, you can tell he is blushing.
Then it occurs to you the possibility that Eren might have a crush on you…? Or is he just very caring?
It sounds troublesome anyway.

Jean walks up to you.

“Yeah, you know, I was wondering why you never practice with us since you are a cadet as well.” He isn’t wearing a smug smile anymore. Instead, he has an eyebrow cocked.
What a silly, confused face.

“I only deal with paperwork.” You answer calmly, always keeping a healthy distance between you. Always on watch.

Because he had approached you way too much, you take a step back.

“Oh, the easy life.” He teases. But it actually doesn’t bother you at all; you also think it’s an easy life. This is why you went for it, duh.

What bothers you is his hand sliding through a lock of your hair while he talks.

“Oi, Jean! Don’t touch her so recklessly!” Eren whispers aggressively as he pushes Jean, but his tone is too loud for a whisper, so you can hear him perfectly.

“Is she your property, Yeager?” Jean gets angry as well after being pushed.

But before Eren yells at him again, Levi cuts it with a harsh and very irritated voice.

“Maybe you shitty brats will stop skipping training after cleaning the stables for a week or two.”

The three of you jolt in shock at Levi’s sneaky approach.
Eren and Jean salute him—after seeing them, you hesitantly salute him too, unsure of what to do—and run back to their training before Levi says anything else, leaving you alone with the Corporal.

You look at him, not knowing if you should say something or apologize, even if you don’t understand what is happening at all.
He just stares at you, looking really upset and you associate it to Eren again.

“My office. Now.” Levi growls in a venomous quiet voice that sends a shiver through your spine.

He turns his ankles, heading to his office and you just obediently follow him, afraid of what he has in stock for you. Right now, you can’t feel anything but a weird sensation in your stomach.

You hesitantly close the door behind you. Levi barely waits for you to do so and immediately decreases the distance between you.
You cringe in fear, but your cheeks betray you and blush immediately. He is way too close and failing at suppressing his fury or whatever that is consuming him.

“Don’t you think your actions are a little inappropriate?” His stoic expression is returning little by little as he speaks.

You snort in disbelief and Levi cocks an eyebrow at it.

“What actions? Talking to Eren?” You cross your arms.

You aren’t mad at him or at his mood. You’re just going straight to the point, making the conversation short. Oh, well, it is said that when facing death, some people become brave.

“I understand he is dangerous and all, but I just talk to him, sir.”

You are really close. So much so that you can even feel his breath hitting your face.
He breathes deeply, probably restraining an insult.

“Then, shall I remind you that you’re an adult and they are kids, cadet?”

It is your turn to cock an eyebrow now. What is he saying?

“Be careful when being too friendly with them, it may give your superiors the wrong idea. Love-affairs aren’t exactly accepted here as much as you may think they are.”

“What—” You start, but the back of his hand slightly touches your forehead. Completely caught off guard, you jump in shock.

“For a restrained woman like you say you are…” His tone is now calm, slow and sultry. You can’t say if you got all messed up by being touched by him or by hearing his voice.

Is he doing the same thing Eren did?

Levi’s hand travels to the side of your head—brushing the back of his fingers on your face on the way—and smoothly holds a lock of your hair, the same way Jean did. Mirroring his next gesture, he slides your hair through his fingers, letting it slowly fall back on your shoulders.

“Allowing being so recklessly touched…” His eyes narrow in disgust when remembering how Jean nonchalantly touched you.

His breath is unsteady despite the calm voice he manages to keep.
Levi is apparently scolding you, but somehow it seems like he is pleased as well. Maybe something happened in the process.

You are bright red but decide you won’t whimper or become submissive to him. You’re one proud little prick.
He is using his authority to manipulate the situation and do as he pleases.

Levi looks a little out of control, doing and saying weird things. Maybe he is failing at restraining himself.
You frown.

“You’re blaming me for something that is not my fault! … Sir.” To irritate and confront him you manage to keep a steady tone. “Since it had none of my consent, it might even be considered abuse and I have no responsibility over it. You can’t blame me for the lack of moderation from your male cadets.”

If there was something else to make Levi even angrier, you just discovered it was this. Congratulations.
He abruptly grabs your face with one hand and forces you to look at him. It hurts.

“You listen to me, you stupid brat—”

Instinctively, your hand grabs his wrist, trying to get it away from you. You don’t even notice it, but your nails scratch hard the soft skin of his inner wrist.
Levi grimaces and moans hopelessly through his throat.

What?

Among the things you expected him to do, you surely weren’t waiting for that.
It sounded too pleased to be pain.

He releases his grip on you and covers his closed mouth with the back of a hand, turning his face away from you and walking up to his desk, supporting his weight on it with both hands.
Just when you thought he couldn’t get any more pissed off.

“Out.” Levi doesn’t look at you.

You hesitate—though not daring to open your mouth.

“I said OUT!” He shouts and you comply, leaving his office calmly but in arrogant steps, slowly closing the door.

And now, you run as fast as you can to your room, like the stupid and sloppy and terribly in love silly girl you are.

‘What was thaaat?’ You almost suffocate yourself with the pillow while desperately embracing it.

Unsure of how much Levi is being serious about your contact with the cadets, from exactly where that mess started or the reasons of anything at all, you decide to take a shower and calm down or you won’t even be able to hold a pen.

Levi is violent and hard to read but you start doubting your theory from a few days ago. Maybe he isn’t in a relationship with Petra. Or perhaps he is in a relationship with her and is just a jerk. Or even what just happened might not mean anything to him in this regard—despite the weird behavior of touching you and saying weird things.
ARGH! You can’t think right now…

5. A kiss worth running 'til you drop

The days pass by and no need to mention that Levi keeps ignoring and avoiding you. But his general physical aspect is even worse. It looks like he isn’t getting enough sleep nor eating properly.
You guess he doesn’t have time to sleep because he is doing all the paperwork by himself again.

Well… NOW he looks not being able to look any angrier than he already is.

During breakfast, you see a worried Petra bringing his tea and talking to him.
It stings you deep in your chest.

Yeah, yeah, he looks terrible, but lately your appearance isn’t any better.
Ok, maybe a little better, but still a pitiful sight. You miss so much the hours of silent work with him and got so confused the last time you two talked that it is showing in your features.

“Morning~” Says Eren in a soothing way, breaking your line of thoughts.

“Oh, hey there, Er—” Your head goes blank when he kisses you on the cheek as a greeting gesture and sits by your side at the table.

“Ah!” Eren suddenly is aware of what he had done. “I’m sorry! I got distracted so I greeted you like I greet the other girls, I’m really sorry.”

You scoff and wave your hand at him, gesturing it’s ok. Though it’s not!
Mikasa and Armin come and sit with you, obviously because of Eren. Then Jean arrives, too, obviously because of Mikasa.

Suddenly you are surrounded by brats and you don’t even look like the oldest of them. Actually, right now you are pretty much camouflaged.
It occurs to you that no one there knows your age, so they probably think you are their age or just a bit older than them.
At that moment, you totally forget about Levi, so you fail to notice how he is staring at you.

There is still some time before you have to assist the Commander, so you head to your room and sit at the small desk, paper and ink carefully lined up.

You didn’t know at the time you were transferred, but the Survey Corps has a different system for delivering the cadets’ letters.
At the Garrison, personal letters were sent once a month, and due to the hardships that you were going through, rarely you sent your family any news.
But now, despite your current situation not being the best, you feel like you should send them a ‘hello’ once or twice a month, because the Survey Corps dispatches the letters weekly. One can even send more than one at once.

Ugh, sure, it’s not like you can tell them the things you’re going through at the Survey Corps, so you write about silly and unimportant events of your everyday life, more to tranquilize your family after your sudden transfer, not mentioning specific people nor any name.
It makes you feel like you're sending them a smiley face poorly drawn with crayons.

The Garrison has more soldiers than all the three divisions, so, of course, the Survey Corps’ mail room is smaller and way simpler.
According to what Hanji told you, due to your function, despite being a low rank soldier you have to use the high ranks’ sorting rack.
Placing your shy envelope there, you can’t refrain yourself and peek at the others compartments.

How sad, it looks like none of the high ranks had sent any letters for a long time; the compartments are all dusty. You kind of expected that from Levi, but even the others are like that.

At the end of that afternoon, while assisting Mike, you look through the window and see Eren running alone around the open fields. Standing there with crossed arms, Levi is monitoring the titan shifter’s sloppy performance and yelling at him to put more effort into it.

“You’re losing speed, brat. What part of ‘run until you drop’ was not clear?”

‘I hope this has nothing to do with the kiss…’ You grimace.

❖

A rainy week comes by and there aren’t any outside activities.

Some higher-up asks you to sweep the corridors and you gladly accept; stretching legs and arms a bit, yes!
The rain is really noisy but it brings you a relaxing sensation.

You are almost finishing that corridor. Right behind you is the old broom closet stored with some cleaning supplies.
You hear someone running and coming towards you.
Levi enters the corridor you are cleaning, clicking his tongue as he looks behind his shoulders, as if expecting the thing he is running from to appear at any moment.
When turning his head to look at the place he just entered, a shocked expression is clear when he notices you there.
It seems too out of character. Levi escaping from something to the point of actually running and looking worried about being found? Pff… What’s going on?
You two haven't talked for almost two weeks by now. So, when passing by you, he just has to say something.

“Don’t you dare tell shitty-glasses I came this way.” He gives his menacing glare towards you.

Levi is obviously waiting for a ‘sure.’ or whatever, but…

“Oh, I’m going to tell her.” Holding the broom, you say with a distracted voice.

He freezes in place. Curse you…!
You both hear hurried steps coming toward you.

“Leviiii!” Hanji calls the Corporal while looking for him.

“I’m sooo going to tell her…” You deadpan.

Levi clicks his tongue, glances at the whole corridor to see if there is anyone watching and pulls you with himself into the broom closet.

“Wh—” Your mouth is sealed by his hand while he uses the other one to close the door.

“Don’t. You. Dare.” He says aloud, but now whispering very quietly; “To say a single thing.”

The closet is ridiculously small. It may fit a person, but just one. The two of you are smashed against each other there. One of your legs between his, which makes one of his legs to be between yours as well. Both chests pressed and his chin is touching your shoulder.

Being aware of what your current situation is makes you wince in reflex, causing some friction between your bodies—which isn’t the wisest thing to do right now; with his mouth closed, Levi grunts very quietly and presses his hand harder against your mouth, trying to make you stop moving. Feeling your lips pressed against the palm of his hand might not help his imagination, though.

This is the most inappropriate moment to notice it, but Levi smells undoubtedly good.

You can hear his labored breath trying to become the most quietly possible. It is hard to tell if he is breathing like that because of the running or because you are smashed against him—and only now he is aware of what he had done.

None of you are comfortable; actually, your back hurts terribly.
Despite his clear order, you try to shift yourself into a better position. You move your leg in the process, getting alarmed when noticing where it is right now and which part of Levi you just pressed with it.
You feel Levi heavily trembling with his eyes squeezed shut, biting hard on his own teeth at first and then opening his mouth, silently gasping for air.
His free hand grabs your arm stronger than he intended to.

“Stop.” Levi's voice is husky and shaky; an almost inaudible whisper. “… Please.”

His pleading is so sincere and desperate that you try not to move a single inch.

Your face and neck are burning and your heart pounding angrily, almost painfully, against his chest.

“Leviii~” You and him suddenly hear Hanji calling, getting closer to your hiding place.
You two go stiff and hold your breath.

Passing by without minding the closet, she takes some distance from where you are and starts talking to Eren, who showed up right after her. After hearing them for a while, you know that they aren’t so far from the closet. Just standing and chatting. Damn it.

Levi’s hand leaves your mouth when feeling less worried about you making any sounds.

Things just got more serious. It’s not only about hiding from Hanji anymore; finding you two smashed against each other inside a broom closet may give them the wrong idea.
The air is hot and it’s hard to breathe. However, it is dark there so it gives you a little bit of courage to tell him now something you couldn’t in the last few days; you want to spend time with him again.

Being sure Hanji and Eren won’t hear you, you lower your head intending to whisper, inevitably grazing your lips against Levi's ear when approaching your mouth.
Shuddering in a jolt, he bites down a groan, grabbing your arms again out of reflex, he digs his nails into the fabric of your jacket. Before he can protest or ask what was that, you start talking in the quietest voice you can pull off.

“I’m sorry.” Your hot breath against his ear makes him let out an interesting sound. Well, you can’t get any redder, so you force yourself to continue. “I miss working with you every day, sir.”

His breath is so labored, it’s starting to worry you. It also seems like he is holding back something very terrible, like he always does—though he looks more desperate now.

“If I bothered you or made you angry, I’m really sorry.”

Only when he moves a little due to discomfort, you can feel that something is pressing against your inner thigh.
Since when it’s there, you aren’t able to tell.
Your eyes can’t get any wider at this acknowledgment. This is your turn to let out a little whine.

Unsure of what to think about it, you unconsciously breathe out a shaky ‘Sir…’, letting Levi know that you noticed it.

At it, Levi loses his ability to think. Still grabbing you strongly, he presses you against himself even more. You can't see his eyes squeezed shut, but you feel him sighing hard and shakily through his nose.

The whole situation is making your stomach dizzy and your head is spinning.
Hanji and Eren have been talking non-stop since they started, so you allow yourself to let out a quiet yelp: a sweet and weak little sound—almost a soft suffering moan—caresses Levi's ear.

That must have sounded much pleasurable to him; he breathes really hard through his nose before taking a strong grip on your hair and roughly running his tongue all over your lower lip, in a tortuously slow pace.

 “I guess the Corporal really doesn’t want to help in the experiment, Hanji. Even though the Commander authorized it and ordered him to.” Eren says in a relieved smile. “I never saw him vanishing so quickly.”

 “Meh. I could swear I saw him coming here.” Hanji sulks. “I guess we’ll have to do it without him, anyway. Let’s go, Eren.” She grabs his arms and starts walking.

“No no no no no, Hanji, I really don’t think—”

The two of you stop to hear their voices fading out slowly, but it is difficult to properly hear it due to both of your labored breathing.
They probably didn’t hear any of your noises thanks to the heavy rain hitting the windows.

Levi risks opening the closet’s door and you two are practically tossed out of it.
Both are now breathing hard, and not only because of the fresh air.

With your hair all disheveled, you are sweating and both cheeks and neck are the deepest shade of red Levi has ever seen. He looks at you for a moment before heading straight to his office without saying a single word, leaving you there.
Staring blankly at the floor, your fingers press softly your own lower lip.

You stand there for a few moments. After calming yourself as much as possible, you head to your room. But before you get there, Petra passes running by you.
She appears to be in a hurry while carrying some clean towels.

You feel disgusting and this feeling consumes your entire being. You still aren’t sure if Levi and this girl are together. The memories of what just happened makes your heart sink.

“Petra.” You call hesitantly.

She stops and turns to you. Her face is pale, worry all over it.

“Is everything all right?”

Petra approaches you while looking around.

“The Corporal broke some things in his office and hurt himself…” She whispers.

You frown in confusion.

“He doesn’t answer anything we ask but his arm and hand are bleeding.”

Seeing that you are too shocked to say anything, she leaves in a hurried pace.

Levi broke stuff in his office? To the point of hurting himself…?
You blink a few times before coming back to reality and opening the door of your room.
He did that… Because of what happened…?
Touching your lower lip again, you walk into your room and close the door.

You are so tired of feeling confused and hurt all the time, you barely can work recently.
Throwing your jacket on your bed, you sit at your desk.

Now you are going to think and analyze, to put your thoughts and feelings back on track. This is what you always do before making decisions.

Before anything else: you know Levi’s personality. For some reason, he often gets angry and reacts violently around you or to whatever you do.

He looked too painfully pleased by touching you for this to be hatred, though.

You try to remember everything you can since you first met.
If getting too close to you and being touched make him angry—even if he kind of likes it—, you must be interfering in something of his concern. So much, that the violent and confused small animal hurt itself while exploding in its office.
Alrighty, he’s in conflict. A really bad one.

Now the thing with Petra. Levi said once that romantic relationships between soldiers aren’t exactly welcomed by the rules. Surprisingly enough, Levi was terribly kind when phrasing it, because you know the rules very well; it’s absolutely forbidden to get involved in romantic affairs in the military, mainly when it involves official buildings. There are severe penalties for that, including imprisonment and/or expulsion depending on how deep in shit the couple sinks.

If Levi has something with Petra, it’s hidden and very discreet.
Technically, she gives hints of liking his company and caring about him as much as you do. You can’t afford to wait for him to also demonstrate something towards her because he is a restrained, inexpressive short-ass.

But it may be one-sided as well.
Anyway, it’s something you have to check.

Aside from personal issues with the Corporal, he still is a superior officer and it’s your job to support all of the higher-ups.
He’s being immature and insane for refusing your help and it’s messing up really bad all the agenda, the general progress of paperwork and he’s clearly not handling it.
Whatever is happening between you and Levi can’t interfere in the professional aspect.
This is probably the first thing you have to make decisions about.

No matter how you look at it, the solution seems to be in your hands.

You recline your chair and rethink everything. This cold analysis that you usually do helps a lot, actually. Even if you are shaken by what happened today, you stop feeling like a total mess.

The feeling of having control over things really eases the heart.

You decide to skip dinner and try to sleep through the whole night. It takes an hour or two of tossing and turning, but you fall into the deeper sleep you’ve had in days, the memories of what happened today never leaving your mind.

6. Last boss Hanji

Levi doesn’t show up at the mess hall during breakfast or during lunch. You believe Petra is taking his meals to his office.

In the afternoon, you work with Moblit. He barely talks and when he does, it’s about Hanji’s negligence with her own health and safety.
Moblit never looks shocked or disgusted by Hanji’s experiments on Eren or on the titans she keeps. You assume he is a quiet and tense man with guts of steel who isn’t paid enough.

Hanji breaks into the office, both excited and frightened.

“Eren fainted! Moblit, give me a hand, will you?”

The man sighs before standing.

“Squad Leader, you might get hurt. Please, be careful.”

You jump from your chair.

“You mean EREN might get hurt.” After frowning at Moblit, you direct your eyes to Hanji. “What happened?”

“Oh, he saw a spider.”

You cross your arms.

“Ok, maybe I made him go too far this time.”

After Eren is placed on his bed—since he is not allowed to be medicated in the infirmary—, Hanji sits on the corner of Eren’s bed and starts talking about what happened, so Moblit can take notes for the next report.

You also sit on the bed, but closer to Eren so you can check his condition.
‘Mikasa is going to get so mad…’ You think to yourself, sighing.

You decide to let the Corporal alone today so he too can get his mind back on track.

Because it’s been raining daily during the last few weeks, the cadets aren’t having any outside activities. To make up for that, on sunny days they also attend training in the afternoon. And while they’re training today, you lazily watch them as you walk around the HQ’s open field to stretch your legs.

Something catches your attention; that two big dudes—Bertolt and Reiner—are usually together. However, Reiner is now taking a break from training with Connie and Sasha, Bertolt nowhere to be seen. Is he skipping training?

Thanks to Eren, you now have some contact with the new folk, but even if you are of the same rank, you care and look after them. Perhaps it's because they are younger than you or because they are new recruits.

“Reiner, where’s Bertolt?” You ask softly.

He hesitates for a moment, averting his eyes. It doesn’t go unnoticed by you.

“Bert isn’t feeling well, so he stayed in the dorm today.”

“Yeah, he was pretty weird…” Connie starts, and you can see Reiner looking worried at him. “Bert was all red and shivering and sweaty—I mean, more than usual.” Connie laughs.

“Sounds like a fever.” You raise both eyebrows and cross your arms. “Why didn’t he go to the infirmary?”

“I-I don’t think that's necessary, he’ll be fine.” Reiner tenses up.

“Oh, very well then.”

With that, you return to the building and offer your assistance to Mike, who surely isn’t stupid enough to refuse it.

He hasn’t too much work delayed, though. You two finish it in almost two hours, so he dismisses you by giving a very quick pat on your head, making you feel like a pet. He really took a liking to you, didn’t he?

Gathering your things before leaving, you see through Mike's window someone sitting by himself near the stables. The person is holding his own knees with his head between them so you can’t see his face.

You haven’t yet paid a visit to Erwin, but you decide to check on that person before you go.

Oh, it is Bertolt. You can tell by how tall the person is even when sitting.
He notices someone getting closer and looks up, startled. Recognizing you, he flinches.
Bertolt is usually shy, but you find that weird.

“Hey, Bert. Reiner said you were feeling ill. Are you better now?”

“Ah… It’s you…” Bertolt shakes from head to toe.

Connie was right; the guy is a mess, shaking and sweating, face and neck all red.
As he appears to get even more nervous when you approach him, you stop walking, being at a distance from him.

“D-don’t come any closer, it’s… Dangerous.” Even his voice is shaky.

“What?” You put your hand on your hip. Is he delirious? What is dangerous about him?

His eyes widen in shock, realizing what he just said.

“I mean… Because you can get sick too.”

“Oh,” You smile and wave your hand at him. “don’t worry about it.”

“I was just t-taking some air. I’m going back to the dorms now.” Beltolt passes by you so quickly, heading back to the building, that you can’t even say anything else.

Great. Even the new soldiers are crazy. Maybe it’s a prerequisite…?
You sigh while going to Erwin’s office.

The Garrison is more peaceful in this regard; people’s behavior. But you like the new life in the Survey Corps so much that you can’t even complain about and actually mean it.

During dinner, you gather some courage and decide to sit at Armin and Mikasa’s table.

You already talk fairly frequently with Armin but you are glad that you can finally talk to Mikasa properly. Talking to her is all about Eren, but at least you can hear her voice.

Again, you notice Bertolt isn’t around in the mess hall, only Reiner. He is now sitting next to Ymir and the small blue-eyed girl whose name you don’t remember.
While wondering if the tall kid is ok, you stare at the noisy crowd, looking for another person.

Eren isn’t there either. He must still be unconscious in the basement.

Now you look at Erwin’s table, where Levi usually sits. His chair is occupied by Hanji.
It’s ok; you intend to talk to him tomorrow anyway.
You finish your meal without letting yourself get more worried than necessary.
After posting a letter to your family, you go to sleep.

The next day, you are sitting alone and eating your breakfast, still very sleepy.
You like your job, you really do, but it is fatiguing you too much. Maybe they should get more people to support the higher-ups' paperwork.

Someone approaches your table.
Your heart skips a beat. Or two. Maybe three. You almost choke on your bread.

Levi is standing right in front of you, expressionless as always. But at least he doesn’t look angry anymore.
With your brain still processing the information, you look at him without saying a thing. He stares at you for a moment before talking.

“Office.”

You hold back a snort. But you also have to hold back the most relieved and sincere smile your lips ever wanted to form.
No, but seriously, ‘Office.’…? Pff.

“I’m free after assisting the Commander.” You blink slowly, trying to look calm despite your state of astonishment.

“Good.”

Without anything else, he leaves the mess hall, letting you finish your meal with a silly half smirk and a lighter soul.

The hours seem to take forever in Erwin’s office.

When finally dismissed, you head to the public showers. You already had bathed that day before breakfast, but knowing your dear Lance Corporal Short-Ass as you do, you don’t want to give him any reason to complain, even if you know he will, somehow.

Arriving at his office, you see everything is in its right place. His squad must have helped him.

“I’ve heard you hurt your arm, sir. Is it getting better?” You ask softly while sitting on the chair in front of his desk. Levi only makes an 'hm' in affirmation while reading his paper.

For your delight, you two work in silence for almost two hours. Not that you don’t want to talk to him, but you missed so much spending time with Levi like this…

You wait for him to talk about what happened, but he doesn’t. He won’t. He is pretending nothing happened and you understand that kind of behavior.

When you notice he isn’t looking so uncomfortable anymore and has a relaxed expression—though he didn’t glance at you even once—, you risk speaking.
There’s something you want to ask him, but can you simply ask his permission to do so? You decide to give it a shot and properly formulate the question inside your head before opening your mouth.

“I wanted to ask you a personal thing, sir. Would you answer it?” You try your best to sound as respectful as possible.

It takes a few moments for him to answer you.

“Try it.”

You shyly look at him and discreetly take a breath.

“Are you and Miss Petra in a relationship?”

It looks like he was waiting for another kind of question. Actually, of all the things that he probably expected you to ask, that wasn’t even on the list. Maybe he thought you were going to ask about that day with the broom closet incident.

“What?”

You guess he was really caught off guard because his bored expression is now also kind of shocked.

You don’t repeat your question, just wait for him to process it inside his head.
His neutral eyes and indifferent aura return, as does his harsh tone.

“Did the goddamn sun roast your brain when you were in the Garrison?”

You blink, still waiting for the answer. Your heart is really making a number inside your chest.
Seeing that you aren’t trying to comeback nor say anything else, Levi sighs in annoyance and goes back to flipping his papers.

“No, I’m not.”

“I see.” Controlling your breath as much as you can, you return to write on your paper, trying to stop your hand from trembling.

You hear him mumble a very quiet ‘stupid brat…’ right after, while minding his papers.

For the next hour, no one dares to speak. You don’t mind it; right now, you are feeling lighter and better despite everything else that happened.
You are really surprised when he dismisses you, because just then you see the huge amount of late papers you finished without even realizing it.

Leaving his office after a salute and nothing else said, you find Bertolt walking with Reiner, Jean, Connie and Sasha in the corridors. He appears to have returned to his normal self.

‘Oh, he’s ok now.’ You smile, following them with your eyes.
Well, some days are just better than others, and this one is pretty good so far.

You stretch yourself and relax, feeling like everything is so great that nothing will stop you, at least today.

You still have a few minutes until lunch, so you allow yourself to stroll really slowly through the corridors, enjoying the great feeling of peace that is filling you.

Levi still isn’t having his meals in the mess hall. It doesn’t bother you. No reason for that; things seem to be slowly going back on track.
And seeing Eren eating with his friends again makes your day even better.
After lunch, you work like crazy all day. You want to work hard and see even more things getting settled.

Hanji gets you after dinner time. You are a bit disappointed; exhausted—yet happy—after a day of hard work, you just long for a warm and soft bed after a great shower, but you just can’t say no to a pouting Hanji with big bags under her tired, reddish eyes.

The thing is: you stay in her office until morning, not getting a single minute of sleep.
Even Moblit passes out on his desk right in front of you; the first fallen soldier. Hanji, however, appears to be used to doing this kind of thing; she is all messed up but still wide awake. It’s probably the tea, you should stop bringing it to her.

After pulling an all-nighter to help Hanji, you barely touch your breakfast and return to her office as soon as possible. If you didn’t, the woman would go nuts.
Hanji only lets you go after lunch. You take a terribly long shower and head to Levi’s.

After a few silent hours with him you feel better and relaxed, but when leaving his office, Hanji drags you again to another whole night of work with no sleep.

You find out that her deadline is right around the corner and Erwin wants the reports she had not delivered so far AND the ones related to Eren.

She always hugs you and thanks you, but you are upset about not being able to rest.

If it sounds bad, prepare yourself because she does it a third time the next day: when Mike dismisses you—squeezing one of your cheeks before you leave—, you try to sneak out of his office without Hanji noticing you. Too bad, she is already waiting for you at Mike’s office’s door.

The next morning, during breakfast, you’re not only sleepy; you are also feeling somewhat ill and a little bit dizzy.
Your clothes feel too hot for a cold day.
You are so messed up that you sit at an empty table and leave it when breakfast time is over without even getting yourself a plate.

In his office, Erwin looks concerned by your pale and languid appearance. You are also slower to handle paperwork, which is unforgivable.

“Aren’t you feeling well today?”

“Oh, I just need some rest.”

After three hours, you leave the Commander's office. You want to sleep so bad…! However, after Erwin, the next one on your schedule is a certain beloved Corporal, for whom you have suffered too much to finally get back in touch. Maybe after helping him you can sleep for ten days straight.

When you sit on the chair across Levi’s desk, something seems to draw his attention because the Corporal lifts his eyes from the paper to look at you.
He stares for a few seconds.

“You look like shit.”

The man is a poet. No wonder you fell for him.

“Thank Hanji.” You growl, slowly reaching a stack of papers and dragging it to you.

“If you’re not feeling well, go back to your room and rest, brat.” He frowns.

Is that… Concern?

“It’s ok. I’ll rest after I finish these.” You mumble, happy he is talking to you.

His hand touches your forehead.
You can't even jump when you're startled by his touch, so unresponsive that your body is.
Levi grunts, really annoyed.

“Brat, you’re burning.”

You blink slowly, registering the information in your head. So that’s why you’re feeling terrible like that…

“Get out of my office.” He sits again. “Get some rest.”

“I really want to finish these, at least, sir.” You whine in a terribly cute way, which is unintentional; it’s probably because you feel like dying.

One of the adorable things is that you can barely keep your eyes open right now; when blinking, your eyes are taking longer to open again—and only halfway.

“… Out.”

“But siiir…” Your eyes aren’t even trying to open anymore.

 “Tsk.” He rubs his hand over his face. “You'll have fifteen minutes of break. It's an order.” He points with his head to the small couch in his office. “Now get out of my sight.” Levi hisses through clenched teeth.

At first, you sit correctly, but it doesn’t take you a full minute to sprawl out on the couch, totally unconscious. After a few minutes, Levi checks you out of the corner of his eyes, shaking his head when he sees you.

“Brat.” He whispers to himself.

After an hour has passed, there is a quick knock at the door and Erwin enters right after.
Walking over to Levi’s desk, Erwin notices you.

“Do we have nap time now?” He asks while handing Levi a few papers. His tone is displeased; it is at least weird for a cadet to sleep so recklessly in her boss’ office.

“The girl passed out from fever.” Uninterested, Levi says while signing the documents and returning them to Erwin.

“So that is what she had all this time. Well, she needs to go to the infirmary.” Erwin’s tone doesn’t get any better.

“Does she look like she can go by herself?” Levi lowers his eyes to his own paper.

“Well, she can't just stay here. Wouldn’t you carry her?” There is now something like a slight interest in Erwin’s voice.

Levi takes a while to answer, his eyes never leaving his paper for a single moment.

“No.”

“Couldn’t any other cadet—?"

“No.” He doesn’t even wait for Erwin to finish his sentence this time.

“I see.” Erwin smiles very discreetly, as if he is suppressing a chuckle. “In this case, I’ll take her to the infirmary, then. She doesn’t appear to be very heavy anyway.” Leaving his signed papers on Levi’s desk again, he walks to get you.

“Whatever.”

You wake up in the infirmary.
Looking around, you are very confused by how you got there.
Getting up, you walk quietly past the sleeping nurse, then go straight to your room and allow yourself to sleep through the next day.

Levi slaps his open hand on the side of Hanji’s head. She laughs while rubbing it to ease the pain.

“She helped a lot, though.”

7. Personal stuff

It has been three days since you had a fever in Levi’s office and magically woke up in the infirmary.
You are relieved that the Corporal denied being in a relationship with the cute small ginger girl, Petra.

It’s almost time to go to the short-ass and help him with his paperwork, but you’re still on your break after leaving Erwin’s office.

Walking through the corridors, you hear Eren and Petra talking inside an open room.
They are cleaning it.
You stop after you pass, hiding by the door so they don't see you.
You wouldn’t stop and peek only because they are having a conversation, but you heard Levi’s name.

Eren is questioning Levi’s behavior, saying that he thought the Corporal was the type of person who wouldn’t follow orders so strictly.
Actually, at first, you also had the same impression.
Petra explains that Levi was like this before, that he was a known criminal from the capital’s underworld.

Your eyes widen and you hold your breath.
Levi? A criminal?
But then, a thought hits you harder than that news; Levi grew up in the dirty and violent underworld. He's certainly been through terrible things.
The image of a younger Levi lying in a corner, starving and freezing overnight makes your heart ache and tears gather in your eyes.
Perhaps he is violent and not a smiling man because of it; the things he felt, saw, and was deprived of.
And perhaps his clean freak behavior is due to the fact that he grew up surrounded by rubbish and dirt.

It takes a few moments for you to get yourself together.
Perhaps you have no right to demand smiles and kind gestures from him after all. You two had a very different upbringing.
People have their limits, you understand this enough to respect it.

Eren looks just as shocked, but his reasoning probably doesn't go as far as yours.
Petra asks him to get some tea so they can take a break.
You wait for Eren to leave before entering the room.

“Hey, Petra.”

“Oh, hi.”

“Can I… Ask you something? It’s kind of personal, but I wanted to know…” You try to sound shy, but your soul is burning with determination.

“I… guess so?”

“Do you have feelings for Corporal Levi?” You don’t even stutter.

Because blindly trusting Levi is different from knowing you can trust him.
You promised yourself.

Since relationships aren’t allowed there, if they actually are in one and you asked her the same way you asked Levi, she’d deny it instantly. However, if asking only about feelings, she might actually answer if she likes him or not.

Her answer, however, is not what you are looking for. You want to see her reaction and the way she will explain things to you.
If they have a hidden affair, she's likely to safely assert that they only have a professional relationship.

But Petra blushes. Hard.

“W… What?”

“Sorry for asking this, but I’m really curious.”

“I… I really admire Corporal very much, but… I guess he only sees me as a member of his squad.”

Petra’s voice is shaking, she is looking away. She stuttered.
But the most important thing: she didn’t deny she likes him; with a sad smile, she said Levi doesn’t have any interest in her.
You don’t need anything else.

“I see. Sorry for making such embarrassing questions. See ya.” You say softly and leave the room.

Satisfied, you march to Levi’s office. A great sensation of confidence is now filling your being and it seems to be physically noticeable because the Corporal raises an eyebrow when you walk into his workplace. He usually doesn’t even look at you when you get there.

“What’s with that stupid face?” He asks when you sit.

You smile sincerely.

“Secret.”

He doesn’t like it. At all. You don’t know how Levi understands what you said, but it’s clear he doesn’t approve of your vague answer. However, he says nothing else and resumes his writing.

“Sir…?”

“Hm?” He doesn’t look at you.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Are you going to ask me questions daily now? You’re almost as annoying as the Eren brat.”

You ignore his mockery.
This question occurred to you once, but you never figured it out.

“How old are you?”

His fountain pen stops. Levi blinks once before lifting his eyes to look at yours.

“A lot.”

Your frustrated face is too cute for him to bear.
He sighs and again resumes his writing.

“32.”

It surprises you. He notices it.

“Too old for your ass?”

You wonder if he’s aware that his sentence may have sounded weird.

“No… I mean—! You don’t look like you are 32 at all, sir. I thought you were 28 or younger.”

You really did think that.
Levi looks discreetly surprised and amused by your answer. In a good way. He looks slightly relieved or something like that; his expression is now softer than before.

“Hm.”

You look at him working on his paper.
Remembering what Petra said, you inevitably compare his two lives.
To think that someone who was raised in misery and violence could reach the post of Corporal. It makes you a little shaken.
You are happy for him. For things he managed to achieve.

The calm, gentle smile that escapes your lips catches his eye.

“I’m gonna rip that stupid smile off your face if you don’t stop it, brat.” His bored tone makes you chuckle.

In the afternoon, while working in Mike’s office, you think to yourself that everything about Levi’s difficult past and his comfortable life now has something to do with his insecurities and conflicts.
You don’t blame Levi for this, he has the right to make whatever choices he wants. You won’t interfere with it.
But if he's affected in an interesting way when it comes to you, you just can't leave it alone.

Did the Corporal lock himself with Petra inside a broom closet once? Well, with you he did!

The night falls at the HQ and you take a shower before heading to the mess hall for dinner.
The new recruits are making noise, talking loudly and laughing.
You head to an empty corner, but Reiner pulls you by your sleeve as you walk past his table, making you sit abruptly beside him.
Jean and Connie are sharing the table with Reiner and Bertolt.

“Hey. Jean told us you only take care of the paperwork.”

“Is that a reason for pulling me?” You squeak. “I almost dropped my plate.”

All the other boys in Reiner’s table appear to pay attention to the conversation, looking directly at you.

“It’s a shame that you don’t practice with us, you look nice.”

“… Thank you…?” You say shyly. Reiner is a bit invasive.

Eren approaches stealthily when seeing you at their table.

“It must be hard for a cute baby like you to deal with all those crazy high ranks, huh?”

“Reiner…” Bertolt whispers, afraid that the guy enrages you.

“Baby? I’m older than you all, you know?” You say, cocking an eyebrow. Your expression looks a lot like a certain Corporal’s right now.

A puzzled look is noticeable on all their faces. Eren approaches even closer, interested in the subject.

“I don’t think so.” Jean crosses his arms.

“No, I’m 22.”

Eren widens his eyes, almost letting the food slip off his plate.

“What?” Reiner laughs out loud, surprised.

Jean and Connie are open-mouthed, while Bert has his both eyebrows up.

“That’s… Shocking.” Jean frowns.

“You don’t look like you’re 22 at all!” Eren walks up to you, as shocked as the others.

You chuckle at Eren's cuteness.

“Now, excuse me,” With your plate in hand, you get up from the chair and look at Reiner. “brat.” And stick your tongue at him before leaving.
They laugh.

You decide to sit with Armin and Mikasa. They greet you, glad you joined them.
Seeing you're sitting at his table, Eren runs back to it.

Levi wonders what you said to impress the cadets and make them laugh.
He mentally scolds himself for looking too much at you during meals. If you were a well-behaved girl, he wouldn't have to worry so much about you being surrounded by male cadets. You told him you don't like to be touched, but everyone does it freely and recklessly. It's all your fault, you are the one who doesn't understand.

Stupid brat.

8. Slippery floor

It's morning and you're free until lunchtime. You know exactly where to spend your break.

Eren finds you in your secret hiding place, alone in the fiction section of the HQ’s library.

"Hi there, Eren" You smile at him. He looks somewhat surprised. "How did you know I was here?" You ask, bearing in mind that the fiction section is too far away from the door, almost hidden, so it’s unlikely he saw you while passing by.

"I… I didn't. I just… Thought I sensed your smell." Eren says and averts his eyes, a little confused and flustered, wondering if his words were too weird. "So, I followed it…"

"Oh." You frown, also confused. Your eyes dart everywhere while thinking of something to say. "Well, amh… You were right, then." You smile, tense.

Thinking again, the boy can turn into a titan; having a better nose than most people is nothing compared to that, right? It's just one of his titan skills. He’s still learning about them. Mike would be proud, though.

"Say, Eren," You return to your usual self, closing the book in your hands. "do you like to read?"

"Amh, not really, I don't." Eren says, embarrassed, afraid of being judged. But quickly complementing; "But I like stories! I just… Think reading is kinda boring."

"Oh. This one is really good, you know." Smiling at the boy, you show him the book you are holding.

"Wow, huge." Eren cringes. "It's a lot of work to read a thick book like that, isn't it? I would take forever."

"Not really." You distractedly hold the book against your waist. "I mean, all stories are hard to like at first, but, good ones can even make you feel depressed when you get to the last page. Personally, I think liking to read is something you develop with exercise."

You smile and sigh when seeing Eren fidgeting and grimacing at the thick book.

"Would you like me to tell you the story instead?"

His open-mouthed, amazed face is the cutest, you swear to God.

You and Eren sit at one of the library tables. With the book in hand to guide you through the topics and details, you synthesize the narrative into a simpler one so Eren doesn’t get bored or lost.

It is a good book to start with. It has few characters and the plot revolves around a single theme, though the characters' development is constantly instigated through external elements.

It's not your favorite book so far, but its rushed plot probably fits Eren's personality.
You don't know if he is enjoying the story, but his eyes are mesmerized, fixed on you as you speak.

You're relieved when he interrupts you and asks you questions, which shows he's paying attention.

"Let's end here for today, ok?" You close the book.

"What?!" Eren's eyes widen. "But… and the rest of it?" He asks, agitated.

"It's a long story. We'll continue reading it another day. I have to help the Commander with his paperwork now."

Eren sulks.

"It was fun, thank you for today." You say in a smile. "I don't have anyone to talk to about these stories, so it was really nice."

The boy is still sulking, but now with blushed cheeks.
You put the book back on the shelf and leave for lunch—as later you must assist Erwin.
Eren really has trouble taking no for an answer, huh.

During the break before helping Levi, you are walking through the fields around the HQ. The sky is cloudy but you need fresh air and stretch your sore back. However, you regret leaving the building without your jacket; the weather is very cold.

A sudden heavy rain starts to fall, and because you are so far from the building, you get drenched. And, of course, also being the adorable little goof you are, you trip on your own foot and fall into the mud.

You enter the HQ and run to your room, catching people’s attention as you pass, but before you reach the door, Levi appears. He is angry and appears to be looking for you.

“Oi, brat, you’re lat—” His eyes widen and he scowls at your dirty being. “What’s that?”

You try pointing at the window to indicate the rain, but he interrupts you.

“Just… Ugh, go take a shower immediately!”

“But sir! We’ll only have hot water in two hours…”

Hot water is available at three specific periods of the day—at least in the public showers you and the other cadets use.
Levi clicks his tongue in annoyance and looks away for a moment, thinking about something.

“But if you can wait until hot water is available, I will come to your office as soon as I can.”

“I can’t wait that long, brat, my desk is full. I bet Erwin bastard is pushing the papers he hates the most for me…”

You know Levi would never let you into his office like that. But on the other hand, the bad weather will probably make the cold water even colder.

You stop and think, trying to find a quick solution. Shivering with cold isn’t helping, though.

“Tsk… There’s no other way.” Levi murmurs and sighs. “You’re going to take a shower in my bathroom, so hurry this ass of yours before you mess up the floor even more.”

The whole idea makes you blush instantly, but it still doesn't make sense.

“Sir, hot water isn’t available right now.”

“The high ranks have running hot water all the time.”

Well, it makes sense now. The least the Survey Corps could do for the higher-ups is to provide them that comfort.
Even more in Levi’s case; the clean freak must take a thousand baths a day.

“Are you sure this is ok?” You ask timidly.

“Hurry. It. Up.”

“Yessir…”

Tense, you enter Levi’s room after he unlocks it.
It’s weird. It feels weird. You wonder if he thinks it’s awkward as well.
Because, you know.
You. Him. Alone. In his room.

“What are you doing standing there? Hurry to the shower, you’re messing my floor, damnit.” Levi locks the door behind him and you get even more nervous.

His room is immaculate—which is obvious—though much bigger than yours.
After tossing you a clean towel, he sits down on the bed and folds his arms.

“Don’t take too long, we have work to do, understood?” His bored expression is like always, but he doesn’t sound angry or anything. For a man with towers of overdue paperwork on his desk, he looks rather calm.

“Right.”

The bathroom is also big, but you don't have time to explore it. Turning on the shower, you let out a low moan as hot water runs down your back.

It makes you nervous to be in his room, using his shower, washing your body with his soap and soon to be drying yourself with his towel. Your heart is a mess right now.

But then, it occurs to you…
What will you wear? Your only clothing is thrown aside in the corner of the bathroom, soaked and covered in mud.

Great. Another hindrance. Oh, the man will kill you…

When you’re finally clean, you turn off the amazing shower and dry yourself while you think about how you’re going to tell him.
You wrap the towel around you. Ugh, the floor is slippery, careful.
Shyly, you open his bathroom door just a tiny little bit, just enough to peek outside and talk to him.

“Amh… Sir…”

“What is it?”

“I… I just remembered that… Erm…”

“Spit it out.”

“I have no clean clothes to wear.”

There is no response for a while.
Levi pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a loud sigh.
You forgot that detail, but he can’t blame you; he hadn’t thought of that either.

“I’ll ask a girl to get clothes from your room…” He gets up but then stops. Probably thinking the same thing you just did.

“Wouldn’t she find that suspicious? I mean… How to explain why I’m—”

“Yeah.” Levi cuts you off in a harsh tone.

He lets out another annoyed sigh.

“Give me your goddamn keys, I’ll get you some clothes.”

You point out your belongings on the desk he also has in his room.

As you wait for him to come back, you get even more nervous thinking he's in your room right now, looking inside your wardrobe and drawers, and selecting… Damn it… Your panties! And Bras!
You cover your face in shame.

He is taking too long. Nervous, you start teetering but almost trip. Better stop.

Finally coming back, Levi looks pretty bored and annoyed, your clothes in his hands.
You wonder if he managed it without drawing people's attention.

“There. Hurry up, we’re wasting too much time.” Levi hands you your clothes through the ridiculous tiny gap you open.

When trying to put on your panties, you slip on the floor and almost fall, holding onto the sink just in time.
Hearing the huge noise, he angrily yells at you from the other side of the door.

“For fuck’s sake, woman! Can’t you complete a simple task without dying in the
process?”

He kicks the door open and abruptly pulls you back to his room, not even caring that you’re still wrapped in a towel with your panties in hand.

“Dress up. Quickly.” Levi sits on the other edge of the bed with his back to you, crossing his arms and legs.

What? Did he just tell you to get dressed in front of a man? Pff… Yeah, right…

“Amh…” You blush, trying to find words to protest.

“If you make me one more second late, you will do stable duty for a month.”

“Okay! … D-Don’t peek…”

You get dressed as fast as you can, but you get the feeling you see him move his head very slightly once.

Before leaving his room, you signal him to stop.

“My dirty clothes, sir.” You remember.

“If you get them now, they will make you dirty again, brat. You can pick them up later.”

Weird. You thought he would hate to have such dirty laundry lying in his bathroom.

At some point after you started working in his office, Levi raises his eyes from his paper.

“Your room is cleaner than I thought it would be.”

You blush as you remember everything that happened.

“I’m a neat person, you know…” After a long delay, you remember to add: “… Sir.”

After the brief conversation, you work like crazy in his office. Taking a shower really makes you relax more.
No way you'd complain about working in Levi's office, but he doesn't allow you a single break until his time is up.

You salute Levi—he never cares about it. In fact, he doesn’t even look when you do that—and leave his office, already heading to Mike’s.

As soon as you walk in, Mike starts sniffing the air, then gives you a suspicious look, which you don't notice because you're too focused on the papers in your hands.

At dinner time, you sit with Eren, Mikasa and Armin.
Normally, you don’t talk much, so you calmly chew your food, enjoying watching them talk.

blinking slowly as he runs his eyes over all your facial features. His eyes follow down the line of your neck, then stop by your lean body.

Mike arrives and sits across from him, blocking the view. The Corporal immediately averts his eyes, pretending he wasn’t looking at anything in particular.
Mike discreetly makes sure no one at the table is paying attention, then calmly speaks in a low voice to the man in front of him.

“The girl smells like you today.”

“What girl?”

“The paperwork one.”

“Is that so?” Levi asks, indifferent.

Levi looks away from Mike and starts to eat, but soon annoyed by his colleague's insisting stare, he sighs.

“She was in my office today.”

“The smell is all over her body.”

Levi blinks once and returns to his plate, taking a few moments before speaking again.

"Think whatever you want.”

“I’m not thinking about anything.”

“Good.”

You are reading to Eren in the library. He’s laying his head on his folded arms on the table, looking at you.

When you look at him like that, you can't help but smile.

"You look like a child listening to his mother reading to him."

Eren gets a little sad. You realize he must, in fact, miss this kind of contact with his mother.
You change the subject and ruffle his hair. He laughs and looks at you with sweet, loving eyes.

"What kind of stories do you like the most?" Eren asks, still laying his head on his arms.

"Hmm… I like complicated ones."

He blinks at it.

"The ones with difficult, confusing, complex plots. That you have to read more than once to fully understand it. Witty and ambiguous characters, cunning protagonists."

"Isn't that bad?" Eren frowns. "Mean protagonists."

"You see, Eren." Now, with a different look on your face, you close the book and place it on the table, tapping it with your index finger as you speak. "In fiction, nobody likes good people. They're boring. You know why?" Upon seeing his confused expression, you continue. "Because we don't like things we aren't."

Eren looks quite shocked. He always portrayed you in his mind as a soft, sweet, and lovely girl who hated anything bad. This aggressive, critical and cynical side of you around literature is a bit surprising.

"Good people are predictable. But who knows what to expect from a story led by a jerk?" You wonder aloud, lost dreamy eyes gleaming.

It’s been a few days since you took a shower in Corporal’s bathroom. You are in your room getting ready for a long-awaited sleep after a full day of work.
Someone knocks on the door.

Weird. Curfew was two hours ago, there shouldn't be anyone awake at this hour.

You can’t hide the gasp of surprise—and happiness—when seeing it is Levi.
It takes a moment to recognize your clothes neatly folded in his hands.
You had completely forgotten you left them in Levi's bathroom.

Wait.
He washed them for you…? Even your panties???
Embarrassed, you want to smash your own face against the wall, but it's probably better to wait for Levi to leave first.

But then you remember; right now, you are in your nightgown.
In a silly and desperate way, you try to cover yourself.

 “T-Thank you, Sir…” You take your clothes.

You are ignoring the fact that he possibly just checked you in on a quick look right now.
He doesn’t say a thing and leaves, looking indifferent.

Levi probably chose this time of night so that no one would see or ask why he was knocking at a cadet’s room to give back her clothes.

He isn’t proud to admit to himself, though, that he may have smelled a shirt or two while he was in your room that day. Or that he may have found it arousing to imagine how some of your panties would look on you.

9. Bunny kiss, boss bite

Due to the last rainy days, as soon as a sunny day arrives, the Survey Corps cadets have to clean the training ground and the entire open area around the HQ.
There are leaves and broken branches everywhere.

Because Reiner patted your head during dinner the night before, saying you're ridiculously cute, Levi punishes you with cleaning duty.
You don’t understand a thing since he doesn’t bother explaining why you're being punished.

However, Levi pets your head when you give him a sad and resigned ‘yessir’.

After petting you, his fingers run through your hair, eyes lost in what he's doing.

You shiver when seeing his eyes.
Levi appears to be lost in his own thoughts, playing with the locks of your hair and breathing hard through parted lips.

You wonder if he is thinking something weird.

With your heart pounding against your chest, you risk lightly touching the back of his hand, causing the man's shoulders to jump in surprise. Finally coming back to reality, Levi frowns at you.

“What are you waiting for? Go clean, brat.”

Eren is outside, cleaning the perimeter he is in charge of.
Dragging a heavy sack full of branches, leaves, and rocks, he notices you lying on your stomach in the grass, hidden among bushes and peeking at something. He calls you hesitantly.

You look at him and immediately move your index finger to your lips, urging him to be quiet.
He flinches, obeying your command.
You signal for the titan shifter to come and look.

He kneels down and approaches you in silence, also lying on his stomach and coming very close to you. Eren blushes at the proximity.

“What are you doing?” He whispers.

“There, Eren.” With starry eyes, you point at a stout tall three.

There is a small brown rabbit on its exposed roots. Judging by the size, it’s a baby.

‘Goddamnit, stop being so cute…!’ Eren screams internally, biting his lower lip and pressing his clenched fists against his face.

“I’m going to catch it.” You whisper, determined.

“Why?”

“If I don’t pet it, I’m going to die, of course!” Your and Eren’s shoulders are brushing against each other while you whisper.

Eren wants to hug you tight and never let you go.

“Gah, look at that small pom pom tail!” You melt at the sight in front of you. So does Eren, who squirms while mentally yelling weird things at you.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, noticing his struggle.

“N-Nothing. I’m going to finish the cleaning, s-see ya.” He tries his best not to make a sound as he crawls back.

Levi is checking and inspecting the cleaning, walking around the HQ.
He sees Eren hiding behind a tree, peeking at something.

“Eren, what do you think you’re—”

Eren mirrors what you did to him moments ago; moving his index finger to the mouth and then calling the shorter man to come closer.
Levi sighs and walks to Eren.

You are under that stout three from before, holding the little rabbit, talking to the animal in a childlike voice as you pet it.

The Corporal chokes and tries to suppress it by covering his closed mouth with the back of his hand, lowering his head.
Regaining his composure, Levi clears his throat and slaps Eren on the head.

“Stop stalking defenseless girls, you perverted brat. Back to work.”

“Y-Yes, sir…” The boy rubs the assaulted place as he walks away.

Levi himself, however, finds no will within himself to look away from the sight before him.
Tired of being held, the baby rabbit bites you and starts struggling like crazy.

“It hurt!” You reprimand the rabbit, slightly shaking the animal to punish it. “Cute but rude… I should call you Levi. Ok, you can go.” You wave while the rabbit quickly gets out of your sight.

The next day, you are helping Levi in his office, both of you working in silence for nearly an hour.

The bite mark the rabbit left on your hand is swollen and a little black and bluish. It hurts from time to time, so you rub it when it stings.
Levi doesn’t stop minding his papers as he speaks.

“Was Levi too harsh on you?” His bored voice has a fake tone of distraction.

Your stomach does a backflip.
Unable to answer him, you look down, eyes fixed on your own lap. Your cheeks are on fire.

“A rather unfair name, isn’t it? I have never bitten you so far.”

His left hand stops writing and he looks at you.
Feeling his insistent gaze, you slowly lift your head and look shyly at him, biting your lower lip in embarrassment.

Levi gets up and walks over to your seated figure, standing now behind you.
Crossing his arms behind his back, Levi leans forward and lowers his head, going to whisper into your ear.

“Playing with filthy animals instead of doing your chores. Don’t you think that skipping work, and therefore your punishment, deserves an even harsher punishment?” His voice is too soothing for the meaning of his sentence.

Oh great, look who woke up crossing boundaries today…

“I… I’m really sorry, sir. I’ll do the dishes for a week.”

“That’s too soft. Nice try.” His hot breath on your ear makes your entire body shudder.

You look at him with a scared expression. He is too close. Your cheeks can’t get any redder.

The Corporal is now taller since you’re sitting. He gently lifts your head with his fingertips, delicately stroking your jaw with them. Whispering into your ear as he stands behind you, Levi begins to slowly wind a lock of your hair around the index finger of his free hand. His low, serious, husky voice is killing you.

“I punished you so you’d learn how to behave… Why do you let them touch you?” Levi’s breath is getting uneven as he speaks, but his tone is calm despite everything. He clicks his tongue. “Even if I have warned you before… Do you see the way that Eren brat looks at you?” He gives a trembling sigh through his nose. “I’m tired of it.”

Levi punished you because of that?

So, he is jealous of it… Of you. Right? That’s good. Right…?

You may look like a shy, trembling girl, but you aren't actually afraid of his feelings—if he has any for you—, even if it is in Levi’s own twisted and violent way of showing them.
He may have frightened you at first, but you are greedy, way too greedy. He can’t even imagine.
Plus, he also noticed the thing about Eren. Maybe even before you.

You believe Levi is losing control over himself; he is breathing hard and saying weird things with little restraint. He is that upset, huh.

The hand that was caressing your jaw now grabs your throat. Out of shock you jump in place, instinctively opening your mouth to breathe.
His other hand, playfully curling your locks earlier, now turns into a fist, painfully gripping a fistful of your hair.
With closed eyes, Levi brushes the tip of his nose against your ear, stroking it.

“Why are you so reckless, you stupid little thing?” He bites the shell of your ear.

Surprised, you wince with a jolt of arousal. But no, you won’t let out a single sound. You are proud and you love to annoy and measure power with your beloved Corporal.

At first, the bite is weak, but Levi suddenly puts more strength on it, enough to hurt a little. He slowly pulls back, gently scraping his teeth over your ear until it’s entirely out of his mouth.

You swore to yourself to be silent, but a whine almost escapes your throat, causing a small vibration against his hand.
You can’t prevent your legs from shaking, though.

Watching your every reaction, Levi takes a deep breath near your ear and stands again. He returns to his seat, now looking satisfied.
But before he gets out of your reach, you suddenly get up and grab him by the shirt, ending up also grabbing part of his cravat.
He instinctively grabs your arm to push you away, but you pull him to you and lean your face towards his.

His stoic expression has now widened eyes. Levi holds his breath.

You do, however, softly press a kiss between his bottom lip and chin, making a loud, long sound.
Levi instantly closes his eyes, frowning, never letting go of your arm.
Through his nose, he lets out a pleased but also disappointed grunt.

Not as roughly as before, he tries to push you again, but your other arm now holds him around his neck, closing the distance between you.
Another kiss is pressed to his cheek, but now to the corner of his lips, teasing him with clockwise kisses around his mouth.
Unconsciously, he moves his lips trying to reach yours, failing at it because you pull back.

Continuing with the struggle, Levi grabs your other arm, really trying to push you away this time.
You attack his upper lip now, accidentally kissing half of it when trying to plant a kiss above it.
Levi groans, digging his nails into your clothed arm and hurting you a little.

You try to kiss the other corner of his lips. He grips your arms with immeasurable strength, pushing you hard against the wall. You let out a grunt of pain as you hit your back.

Panting, he glares at you; his eyes are hazy and with a dangerous glint. This makes you stop fighting Levi, now looking him in the eye and breathing hard through parted lips.
After calming his breathing for a moment, Levi slowly leans towards your face, stopping when the tips of your noses touch.
Your heart is about to explode.

“Sir, I—”

To shut you up, he finally closes the small distance between you by pressing a kiss to your lips.

It makes everything else disappear.
As Levi kisses you softly, he lets out a low moan of relief, as if he's finally allowing himself to commit a delicious sin he's dreamed of for a long time. And by it you know he is holding back a much more violent act.

You almost forget you have legs. Each heartbeat makes your chest ache, everything feels like burning. It’s hard to breathe, you feel suffocated; and as it gets harder and harder to breathe, the kiss becomes rushed.
His hand holds your face in place while the other grabs you by the waist, guaranteeing you won’t escape.

Levi parts the kiss only to bite hard on your bottom lip before smashing his lips on yours again.
Things are heating up. This is no good.

Messing up all of his hair, you’re desperately trying to touch Levi as much as you can.
It doesn’t matter how much you touch his back, arms, face or hair; it doesn’t seem to be enough.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you abruptly pull the Corporal even closer to you, causing his body to press hard against yours. You scratch hard your nails from the back of his head down to his neck. Levi angrily groans inside your mouth.

This throws away all the control Levi had regained so far.

Without releasing your mouth, Levi grabs the backs of your thighs and lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waist—still pressing your back against the wall. Fervently kissing you, he roughly thrusts his groin against yours, letting out a grunt that parts the kiss.

What?

No…
No, he went too far again. His eyes open wide with the shock of such a realization.

Levi gasps for air, coming back from his frenzy.
What is he doing?

Shit.

Putting your feet back on the floor, Levi wipes his mouth with the back of his fingers, taking steps back as he looks at you—a thousand things exploding inside his head.
Is he entirely upset? Or is it only shock? You don't know.

Only when he walks away, you realize how tinted in pink his face is.
Sweating, flushed, panting, his hair all disheveled.
You could look at him like that forever.

Levi throws his weight on the chair, burying his face in his hand.
You can tell his head is spinning like yours.
The Corporal is trembling.

What?

His entire body is shaking. You thought you would never live enough to see this.

You can’t exactly make fun of him though, you are a mess as well; barely having caught your breath yet.

“… Dismissed, cadet.” He mutters without moving an inch, still hiding behind his own hand.

You’re already aware of Levi's way of handling his internal conflicts, so if you let him digest the event long enough, things will likely work themselves out.
You approach his desk to get your notebook, but don’t leave before pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

He doesn’t react or move at all. You knew he wouldn’t.

You leave his office like the calm lady you try to be—but after closing his door, you run to your room like there is no tomorrow.

Closing the door, you lean your back against it and slide down until you sit on the floor.
Despite the turmoil of emotions and physical reactions, you have it clear in your mind that Levi was only able to allow himself to cross the line because he not only suspected your crush, but also because he heard with his own ears you say out loud what you think of him.

Thanks, baby bunny.

Plus, a kiss on the head after everything happened will let him know you don’t regret anything.
You are unable to hold back a silly smile.

You know that everything in life is a matter of choice. Levi is not the most perfect person to be in love with. However, have you decided that you love him and the path to pursue him is the one you will follow.
Yes, your crush is no longer merely platonic. In fact, you don't know when it stopped being platonic and started to become this mess you love so much.

His ways of showing concern, jealousy, and his actual feelings are violent and completely out of control.
You want all of it, though; all he can give once he becomes yours and yours alone. You will refuse him nothing, nor will you deny him anything if he gives himself to you.

You know, however, these passionate thoughts won’t really make him belong to you; he is a living being with his own needs, train of thought, choices, and destiny. He might also just grow tired of you.
How scary is that?

You get up. It’s still mid-afternoon, you have to work—but you’re not recovered enough yet to go straight to an office.
Sighing, you close your eyes and repeat the process of organizing thoughts and feelings.

You know you’re a greedy, proud, and stubborn woman. It just happens that you tend to be shy and quiet and silly. Despite that, you’re like everyone else. Not being sarcastic here.

Okay, and maybe you're a little manipulative too. But so is Levi.
It makes you concerned that you and Levi are alike when it comes to the bad aspects.

You don’t consider him someone more valuable and important than you are. Both of your lives are worth the same even if he is the best soldier in the army.

… Right?

BAHAHAHA, of course, not! What are you, stupid?

Besides, are you sure you’re ready to do this kind of thing again?
Aren’t you mistaken? Aren’t you being fooled here?
Think carefully, okay?

You wonder what kind of conflict Levi is going through. Relationships in the military are against the rules, so, of course, he’d like to avoid doing the kind of thing you just did. But despite that, maybe he has his own insecurities, like you do.
Or maybe he made some choices in life, like you did.
Not all the choices are just right or wrong. Some of them are just choices, each with different consequences that one must accept.
It would be great if the Corporal was the kind of person who’d talk about things like normal people do.

After a few minutes of sitting on your bed and feeling all the things you are allowed to, you decide to take a shower to relieve the redness and tension in your body. It’s probably time to help Mike.

After Mike, you’re free. Eren appears to know this as he's waiting for you outside Mike's office.

"Hey, Eren." You wave, noticing he is holding a book—not as thick as the one you finished reading to him last week, but still.

"Can you read this to me too?" Flustered and red-cheeked, Eren averts his eyes. "I tried to read it myself but it's too boring."

You start reading to him in the library, but Eren gradually turns pale and languid. He also appears to have lost focus, a blank look now on his face.

"Eren?" You call him. "Do you want to continue reading tomorrow? You don't look well."

"Hm? I'm ok. Go on, please."

But after a few minutes, when you look at him again, his face and neck are suddenly red. You jump from your chair.

"Are you sure you're feeling ok? Looks like you have a fever…"

"… Yeah, I'm feeling a bit weird. Sorry, I think I'm going to bed."

Eren leaves the library and so do you. Worried about him while you tidy up in your room, you end up forgetting about dinner and going to bed early.

Chapter Text

10. Mating cycle

You go to the mess hall for your first meal of the day.
You haven't spoken to Levi again since what happened last day. But you have to work in his office today, so there's no need to worry about that.

Usually, Mikasa, Eren, and Armin sit with you, but you find Eren sitting alone while Mikasa and Armin are with Sasha and Connie at another table.

“Eren? Are you all right? Are you still feeling ill? Did something happen between you and—”

Eren whimpers as he recognizes you, muttering your name in pain.

Only then you notice it; he is bright red, sweating and shaking from head to toe. He was like that yesterday, but you get the feeling you've seen something like this before. You just can't remember where.

“Eren!” You widen your eyes and sit by his side. “Talk to me.”

The boy winces at your approach.

“No… Stop. Get out.” He looks down, hands in fists, each pressing hard against his thighs.

“What?”

You don’t like the way he looks at you. Eren is almost drooling, his beautiful turquoise eyes half closed.

“Just… Don’t.” He suddenly gets up and runs out of the mess hall.

Shocked, you look at Armin and Mikasa. Worried and confused, they both shrug and shake their heads.
So they know nothing as well…
Eren draws attention when running from you.

You decide to follow him.
Hanji and Levi exchange looks and both get up from their table.

“Eren!” You find him in a corridor.

“… No…” He whimpers, taking steps back. “Don’t come here…”

“What happened? If you’re not feeling well, let’s go to Hanji.” You try to grab his sleeve.

“Stop… Go away…” Eren evades your hand.

His voice is thick and shaky, he's clearly having trouble breathing. The boy looks like he is about to collapse.

“All right, look.” You raise your hands, signaling for him to stop running away. “Stay here, I’ll call Hanji.”

Right when you turn to head back to the mess hall, Eren suddenly grabs you from behind. A grip so strong that breathing becomes a difficult task.

“Eren!” You shout.

He pulls you against himself with the same force he's using to envelop you, moaning and sinking his face into the back of your neck, smelling it through your hair.

The titan shifter repeatedly and faintly chants your name, his arms crossed over your stomach are hurting you.

Levi and Hanji arrive and run to you when they understand what's going on.
You don’t even see how Levi does it—so fast it is—but the next moment, Eren is being pinned to the floor.

Back in the room where Hanji does experiments, you, Levi, Moblit and Hanji herself are looking at Eren behind the bars of his cell. The boy is kneeling and leaning against the wall, handcuffs locking his hands behind his back.

Hanji is next to Moblit, who is sitting at his desk while looking for something in his notes. Levi has his arms crossed, not letting his eyes off Eren.

“You better have a great scientific explanation for this or the little shit here will become titan appetizer, shitty-glasses.” Levi says, expressionless, still glaring at Eren.

Said boy has his eyes closed, whining and making expressions of pain. He is breathing hard through his mouth, making a lot of noise from it.

Hanji runs her finger along the last line of Moblit’s note and looks at Levi.

“It may be too soon to guarantee it but…” She scratches her head in astonishment. “I believe he is in heat.”

“… What?” Levi grimaces.

“Mating cycle.”

“I know what that is, shitty-glasses.”

“Titans don’t reproduce.” You start. "And heat is a female thing, isn't it?"

“That's what I thought at first, too, but even titans have a certain animal instinct. When mixed with the human system it can cause this type of event. It’s just a theory that Moblit and I were studying, but it seems to fit the symptoms our Eren is having.”

“There’s nothing like that in your reports.” You frown.

“Like I said, it’s just a theory so far and we had nothing but guesses, so we wrote about it in a separate personal notebook. You go, Moblit.”

Without stopping taking notes, Moblit raises his free hand so Hanji can high-five him.

“Disgusting.” Levi sounds angrier than usual. “If he is going to get like this from time to time and attack our female cadets, we should consider castrating him during it to prevent any disaster. It’s going to grow back anyway.”

Ok. He really is angrier than usual. 100%.

“In fact, with this occurrence, we only know that he CAN go into heat, but we still have no idea how long it lasts or how often it will happen.” Hanji states. She was worried about you at first, but the whole discovery now makes her almost as excited as Eren.

Levi looks very displeased with her statement.

“We should keep him locked up until it goes away, though.” She tries to ease his anger.

“Let me guess. Because I’m responsible for the brat I’ll have to keep an eye on him during this… Heat.” Levi almost snarls as he utters the last word.

“Haha. Since Eren gets so violent under this condition, I wouldn't recommend any short distances with him, actually.”

Before Levi can wonder what that means, Hanji continues.

“I don't think he will tell any difference between men and women if he gets too frustrated.” She smirks. “Maybe it’s enough only to lock him up.”

“What—” Levi starts, but Hanji goes near the cell and kneels down to talk to Eren.

At this, Moblit finally looks up from the paper.

“Squad Leader, be careful! Don’t get so close!”

Hanji ignores him.

“Hello there, Eren.” She smiles.

Still panting and making frustrated noises, Eren slowly opens his half-closed eyes.

“Can you answer me a few questions?” She asks in her normal tone of interest in titans.

“I’m feeling weird…” He moans and for a moment you thought he was going to cry.

“Register everything, Moblit, don’t lose a word.” Hanji almost squeaks in excitement.

Moblit sighs and starts to write.
You are just watching, but the whole thing from beginning to end is very uncomfortable for you. The bulge in Eren's pants is something very difficult to ignore.

“Why did you attack her?” She asks.

He moans and starts to press his thighs together, probably trying to get some friction.

“I didn’t want to do it, I told her to go away… I’m sorry…”

“Answer her, brat.” Levi orders in a harsh tone.

Eren just can't keep still in place, always shifting position with a tortured expression.

“… She smells so good…” Eren's tongue moistens his own lips in a lick, his eyes now looking at your shy silhouette leaning beside the door.

Levi clicks his tongue, holding back so he doesn't grab the boy by the collar.

“Oh.” Hanji gets a bit closer, excited to know everything she can.

“Squad Leader!” Moblit squeaks but she ignores him again.

“Only her? No one else?”

“Just a few girls…” Eren breathes. The way he speaks is slow and tearful, he throws his head back in despair.

“What does it mean?” Levi frowns.

“Hmm…” Hanji looks at you. “So, probably our friend here and those other girls are ovulating.”

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more uncomfortable.

“How are you feeling, Eren?” Hanji's tone makes it sound like they're just having a cup of tea.

“…It… Hurts…” The boy falls on his butt, breathing heavily through his mouth. What bothers you the most is that he's answering Hanji while looking you in the eye. You’re not recognizing him like that.

She waits for him to continue.

“My mouth is watering all the time…” Eren yelps and you feel like he is devouring you with his hazy half-lidded eyes. “Her skin was so soft and smelled so good…”

“Enough, we don’t need to hear this shit.” Levi grabs your arm and drags you out of the room with him.

After closing the door, the Corporal looks at you. Your face is red and you look down in shame.
Holding your chin, Levi suddenly lifts your head. He isn’t very delicate when doing it, though.

“This time you didn’t do anything wrong so stop looking down, stupid brat.” His cold eyes can’t hide the concern.

“Ok…” You say in a low voice, still embarrassed.

“Now move your lazy ass and go to work. We’ll take care of this.”

The next day, after lunchtime, you are strolling on the training camp during your free time. It's very relaxing to see the cadets training when you don't have to participate in it yourself.

You flinch when hearing Eren calling you.

He reaches you and you take a step back. You are kind of angry at him, even if you understand how affected he got by that heat stuff. However, seeing his deplorable state last day made you feel bad for him, so you don’t know how to feel about the boy right now.

“Please listen… I’m really sorry…” His eyes start to water and his cheeks’ color changes to a light shade of pink. Looks like he is embarrassed as well. “I’m so sorry, please forgive me.”

He becomes really desperate when he sees you're not willing to answer him.

“Please… Please don’t stop talking to me. It’s okay if you ignore me for a while but please don’t hate me…”

You give a long sigh, hating yourself for being so off guard all the time, even more when it is about apologies.
If Levi ever apologized, he’d have you around his finger.

“It’s okay, Eren.”

“Really??” His worried eyes are wide open.

“Yeah, yeah.” You open your arms a little, indicating that he could go in for a hug. “We’re fine.”

His mouth drops open in shock, but he doesn't think twice to accept your invitation, hugging you really hard—almost as much as when he grabbed you yesterday, but you are trying not to think about that.
After you let him go, you roughly ruffle his hair.

“You irremediable silly brat…”

He laughs at it.

You don’t know about it, but Levi makes Eren clean the stables for two weeks as punishment for attacking you.

11. We need a bigger cravat

As the days go by, you think hard about it and…
You got the thing about Levi.

He only makes moves when he loses control over himself.
No way in hell is he going to start a conversation about the times he touched you or said weird things, the broom closet incident or the kiss from a few weeks ago.
It’s so frustrating that he acts like nothing ever happened…

His personality and behavior indicate that it is impossible for him. Even if Levi somehow shows how he feels, you don’t believe he will express himself in words anytime soon.
Or at all.

Even if you find it disappointing, it doesn't change anything about how much you want him. He is proud, restrained and doesn’t allow himself to enjoy things without feeling guilty, but you want to shower Levi with all the good feelings you have for him.
You want him to drown in your love, not knowing what to do with himself.

Did you just hear yourself right now? Your feelings and thoughts go from sublime love to dark passion in a matter of seconds.
Does this also happen to Levi?

Maybe you should stop thinking about it while working in Erwin’s office.

Erwin notices you have been daydreaming a lot lately. Especially today.
The Commander is not a person who speaks before planning inside his mind. He observes everything way too much.
Many of his thoughts you can’t follow. You also feel that he withholds a lot of information from you. Even when you’re supposed to know the thing completely.

“Are you feeling ill today?”

“Ah… Not at all, Commander. I’m sorry, I’ll concentrate properly now.”

“Hm…” His eyes analyze you. You believe he knows something you are not aware of. It’s not necessarily a good thing.

“Are you going to assist Levi when you’re done here?”

You flinch. Hearing his name makes your heart beat faster. Damnit.
Maybe you are showing it too much. It would be problematic if someone suspects you have feelings for a superior officer. Or that you used his shower. Or that you kissed. It’ll be troublesome for Levi as well.

“Yes sir, according to the schedule.”

“Then take these to him when you go.” He pushes a stack of papers away from him.

“Sure.”

You are so damn afraid that Erwin suspects something. Though you’re almost sure he does.

Entering Levi’s office, you are overcome with the urge to touch him when you see the bored man focused on his papers.
Normally, you would greet him briefly and sit down. When in a good mood, he would respond with an 'hm'.
But this time, as you approach Levi's desk, you walk up to him and press a long kiss to his cheek.
Levi holds his breath.

“What are you…?” He asks, angry. You don’t leave his side after kissing his cheek, still leaning close to his face.

“Greeting you, sir.”

“Didn't it cross your mind that this might be inappropriate, cadet?” He asks through gritted teeth.

Not if you are the only one who I greet like this, sir.” Saying in a low, calm voice, you softly kiss his ear.

Levi’s body goes stiff.

You know he is jealous, in a very dangerous way.
Hearing that you only do this sort of thing with him may feel pleasurable for the Corporal.
And it does.

You miss touching him and your skin aches for his touch as well.

No longer sure if your thing is to feel his touch or get your superior officer out of control, you stand behind Levi and grab him by the neck with one hand.
He doesn’t move a single inch. Does he like it? Does he hate it?
However, it’s clear that Levi starts breathing harder after it. And certainly, mentally cursing himself.
He closes his eyes.

“Sir…” You whisper into his ear.

Too calm for someone whose subordinate has a grip on his neck, Levi touches the hand around his throat, feeling your skin under his fingers; he was dying to touch you again.
With Levi's breathing faltering even more, you can tell it's getting harder for him to hold back. Good.
But you want to push him over the edge. You want him to lose all control he has over himself.

Still behind him, you take Levi's hand and make him touch your face.
At it, Levi sighs softly.
Making him caress your skin along the way, you bring his hand to the back of your head, making him grab a fistful of hair.
Now something else happens; Levi’s eyes open widely as a jolt of arousal runs straight to his groin. Under your fingers you feel him gulping hard.

He pulls your hair. It hurts enough for you to let out a weak whine.

You’re going to be his demise, honestly.

Levi grabs your wrists and pulls you to him. You almost trip over trying not to bump into the chair in the process, falling abruptly into his lap.

He adjusts you, making you face him and already pulling you by the collar with one hand so he can finally kiss you.
But he doesn’t. The sides of your noses are touching, but he stopped when closing the distance between your lips.

His hand on your collar moves up to hold your chin.
Levi's thumb slides across your bottom lip as he wets his own with his tongue. He looks at your lips, hungry and thirsty for them, but doesn’t move an inch. He’s teasing you.
Is he waiting for you to do something to encourage him? Is he waiting for you to despair?

Your fingers touch his lips too, but your hand starts to descend very slowly in a straight line, loosening his cravat and delicately caressing his throat with your fingertips before reaching his collarbone.
Levi closes his eyes. The nail of his thumb slightly scratches your lower lip.

Your hand continues its path, running fingertips and nails down his chest, scratching him along the way.
With a pent-up moan in his throat, Levi sinks his fingernail into your assaulted lip, now slightly swollen and reddened.

You can feel him shiver as you run your hand across his stomach. Your lip hurts, but you're not done with what you started.
Looking at his closed eyes with great concentration, you let your fingers finally reach the bulge in his pants.

His eyes open in shock and disbelief.

You're tense and embarrassed, but on your face there's a serious, bored façade that doesn't match the blush on your cheeks or what you're about to do.
With your eyes locked on his, you give the bulge a light squeeze, scratching your nails as you go.
Levi's head is thrown back with a muffled, sensual groan escaping his mouth. The hand that had been touching your lips instantly drops to his side.

Your free hand holds the back of his head and brings it to you. Your lips are almost touching his, but Levi turns his face and opens his eyes only halfway, glaring at you as he breathes heavily through his mouth.
Still not enough to earn his lips, huh?

Instead of giving Levi another squeeze, you now grab firmly—almost painfully—his clothed length, finally gaining access to his lips while he squirms under you.
As you finally capture his lips, you smile internally for winning this one.
But aren’t you as desperate as he wanted to see you?

The intensity and speed of the kiss were violent from the start. You can only imagine how much he waited for another chance to touch your lips with his again.

Was Levi torturing you before? Maybe torturing himself?
You still have him under your grip while you kiss. His frustrated groans between and during the kisses are the biggest turn on you’ve seen so far.
You're not very aware of your own sounds—or how loud they are—, but the Corporal looks satisfied with them.

Levi’s hands run all over your back, aching to touching you.
You release your grip on him, getting a grunt of complaint from Levi inside your mouth.
Breaking the kiss and not waiting for him to complain any further, you attack the side of his neck, kissing the same spot twice before starting to suck it.

“Don’t get so cocky…” Levi growls and grabs your hair by the roots, pulling you away from him.

But he did that only to attack your neck instead. He doesn’t kiss it, though; he painfully bites down the side of your neck before sucking it way harder than you did on him.
Levi doesn’t limit himself to assault one single spot, but bites and sucks right after all he can get, until the moment he hears the zipper of his pants opening in a quick flick of your hand.

Wait, no.

He holds your wrist, preventing your hand from doing anything else. The Corporal looks at you, breathless and eyes wide open.

“Don’t.” Panting, he manages to whisper.

“What exactly?” You shakily whisper before pressing a light, chaste kiss to his lips.

Levi throws his head back, breaking the kiss and trying to escape from another attack from you. He takes a deep breath and sighs before answering, looking at a random spot on the ceiling.

“Whatever comes next.” He says under his breath. You can feel his grip trembling over your wrist.

“Why…?” Even if he had asked you to stop, you aren’t about to actually complain; everything felt great so far.

“I won’t be able to hold back anymore… Things won’t be pretty.”

You caress his jaw with the back of your fingers. He grunts angrily at it.

“Are you able to hold back right now?”

Levi is staring at the ceiling with hazy eyes and lets out a groan of frustration as he breathes heavily through his nose. He pulls you in for a kiss again, almost gently at first but becoming hurried along the way.

The wet sounds of kissing and two labored breaths are the only noises in the room for minutes. The two of you kiss until your lips are numb from rubbing and biting.

Levi had made it clear, though, that you shouldn’t cross that line. And you obey, allowing him a wish, even if you want to rip his pants off.

When you finally stop for air, he cups your cheek, looking angrily at you and slightly shaking his head.

“This is no good…”

Ah, he’s talking about the rules, right?
Levi appears to be talking to himself, though.
But your cheeks are so flushed, your eyes so bright, and your lips so swollen and red, that he leans in again and places a soft, chaste kiss on your lips once more.

“Don’t avoid me again because of this.” You say desperately after he pulls away from the kiss, knowing where his thoughts will take him. The worried face you are making is too cute.
Levi looks at you and bites his lower lip, conflicted, aroused, feeling his pride ache at being so shaken by such a stupid young woman.

He had gone through many things that made him the cold, impervious man he is now.
Letting a sloppy kid like you mess up his 32-year-old ass makes him feel weak and humiliated.

Still, he wants you so aggressively that his jealousy tastes like gall in his mouth.
He blames himself for the shameless thoughts he has, even when you're doing something innocent, like just sitting down and eating breakfast.
It’s only common sense that prevents Levi from taking you right now.
If he crosses that line, he won’t be able to come back. He himself doesn't know how distorted he is capable of becoming.
He has things to do outside the Walls. Humanity depends on him.
But it’s getting harder and harder to hold back. Avoiding you, however, didn’t help as much as he thought it would.

“Sir…!” Your eyes widen.

Levi returns from his thoughts, looking at you.

“I’m really sorry…” You point to your neck and then to his, indicating that he has something on his skin.

You had left a hickey on him, in the place you attacked before.
Levi calmly runs his fingers over it, calculating the place.
He adjusts his cravat, covering it perfectly, then raises his eyebrows at you, as if mocking you with an unspoken ‘ta-da’.

“Oh…” You sigh, relieved.

Still on his lap, you notice him glaring mischievously at your neck.

“You’ll need more than a cravat for that.” His tone is too amused, not matching his bored face.

The shock that crosses your face as you remember how much he attacked your neck adds to the amusement in Levi's expression. 

During dinner, Eren throws himself by your side, already stuffing his face with bread.

“It’s not that cold tonight, why are you using a scarf?”

“Mikasa uses one all the time and nobody complains.” You growl.

Eren giggles; you're cute even when angry.

At the table where the high ranks are sitting, Mike glances at Levi.
Mike noticed it when you walked into his office earlier; again, you were smelling like the Corporal. Three times so far.

Working with Levi again the next day, you find it extremely frustrating that he never says anything about the things that happen in that office.
Men are generally colder about feelings and stuff, but there's always the question of whether there really is something between you.

Are you two together? Is he doing this kind of thing only with you? Are there feelings or is he just using you?

He has the gall to spend hours with you without saying a word or even looking you in the eye.

And yet…

Without any warning, Levi calmly gets up and leans over the desk to kiss you, cupping your face in his hand.

Startled, you rush to respond, but the Corporal already breaks the kiss and sits down, returning to his papers as if nothing happened.

With your heart pounding furiously inside your chest, you look eagerly at Levi, but he is once again ignoring you while minding the report in his hand.

Ugh…! Asshole.

To your dismay, the remaining hour goes by without any further interaction. He dismisses you with apparent indifference.
At the door, you swallow hard, painfully upset. At this rate, you will spend the whole night brooding over Levi.

No, you won’t.

Turning back and looking at the fucker sitting at his desk, you head back to him with determined strides, causing the Corporal to look at you, visibly confused.
Before Levi can say anything, you grab his face with one hand and kiss him.
Startled, he tries to push you away to get up, so you hold him in the chair with a hand on his shoulder, pushing him down.

The painful grip on his face makes Levi let out muffled grunts in protest, but as you push him down once more, he stops struggling; now more interested in the lips insistently caressing his.

Breathing heavily through his nose, he stops minding the hand holding him in place and relaxes his shoulders, lifting his head to better kiss you. As your hand releases his face to gently cup it instead, he softly hums in approval.

The rough kiss becomes slow and affectionate. And when his hand touches your wrist, intending to guide you to sit on his lap, you pull away and break the kiss.

Levi opens his eyes, confused that you're leaving all of a sudden.
Without looking back, you close the door.

Walking down the corridor with an angry, frustrated face, you wipe your mouth with your wrist.
That jerk is toying with you.

What a difference between an adult like Levi and a brat like Eren, huh…
Eren doesn’t play any games; he directly and constantly shows he likes you—little to no restraint about it. Too green, too innocent. It makes you want to protect his little heart.
But Levi is charming, does as he pleases, says stuff that messes up with your head and your feelings, then pretends he doesn’t care about you or that nothing happened.

Eren is the kind of person who thinks of the one he likes all the time.
Levi, instead, is doing this so you have no choice but to think of him.

Literally and figuratively, he pulls away right when you’re getting into it… The man is making you repeatedly show him how hungry for his affection you are.

How humiliating.

12. Finishing an important paper

In the library, you can't find the book you were reading last week. You ask the librarian to check if it was lent to someone.
Eren had borrowed it the night before.
You're surprised. It makes you really happy, so much that you don’t even bother not being able to finish reading it right now.

You spend a long time looking for another book on the shelves. Then, a certain one catches your eye. Not that you know the author or the title of the book, but its deplorable conservation state contrasts with the beautiful binding.
It’s a fairly thick, very old red book, which even if it's worn, you can see it has a beautiful leather binding, with damaged but still visible engraved details in gold. The pages are covered by yellowish stains.

At a glance, it looks like a simple novel.
With a soft cloth, you carefully wipe away the dust as you turn the pages and inevitably read them along the way.

The book is basically about a young man who meets a girl in handcuffs while the port city he is passing through comes under a sudden attack.
The main character saves her after she tells him she was taken prisoner for a long time by the bandits who are destroying the city. She had finally managed to escape them.
After running away with her for a few days, the young man ends up promising the girl that he would take her to a very small country that she says is her homeland. He claims that the country is terrible, poor and violent, but she shares with him the secret that she and the prince of her country are in love and so she must return to him.

For an old book, the plot is fast paced and has many characters, to the point where you have to write down their names, who they are and where they come from so you don't miss anything important. 

You are helping Moblit carry some equipment out of the building so that Hanji and Eren can do the next experiment outside. You’re not sure what this is about, but it apparently involves Eren turning into a titan.
Come to think of it, it makes you slightly worried about these experiments; the Survey Corps cadets kind of know about the illegal experiments on Eren, but what if someone else sees? Like, someone from another division.
Since Eren revealed himself to be a titan, the Military Police wants to have the rights over him.

Perhaps you’re thinking too much.

When you get outside, you realize there's a commotion. It looks like a fight, but you can't see it well because of the large crowd.

“I’m pretty sure fighting is forbidden, boys.” Hanji warns loudly, but in a nonchalant tone. “You should mind the ru—WOW what a punch! Hahaha!”

“Squad Leader!” Moblit sighs, scolding her.

You push people aside as you walk over to the cadets and finally see who's fighting.
It doesn't surprise you, though.

“Jean! Eren!” You call with authority, approaching them.

They don't pay attention to you, filled with rage as they exchange punches and roll on the grass.
You look around. Armin is holding Mikasa back as she is about to join the fight.

Eren kicks Jean in the chest, pushing the boy back and lifts himself off the ground with a leap. You take your chance and stand between them, giving Jean time to get up but not letting them touch each other again.

“Oi, get lost!” Jean is really mad. “This has nothing to do with you!”

“Don’t yell at her, horse face!” Eren’s face is scaring you. “But, really, please don’t get involved.” He suddenly says softly to you, contrasting with all his rage.

You don’t even have time to open your mouth.

“Oh my God, Yeager, stop drooling over her!” Jean mocks.

“Shut up!!” The titan shifter blushes terribly.

"Guys, sto—” You try, but they both approach even more to yell at each other, only separated by you between them—who they're almost touching.

“Even Connie noticed it, and he’s dumber than a titan.” Jean laughs. You can hear an angry Connie somewhere yelling ‘hey!’.

The crowd around you is very noisy, it’s clouding your thoughts.

“I thought you were becoming friends.” You sigh.

“No way in hell!!” Eren squeaks furiously.

“As if! You must be really stupid to think that, baby face!”

With a Levi-like expression, you cover your ears. Brats…

“Don’t involve her in this!!” Eren yells even louder.

“The Corporal will skin both of you if you continue this!” You try shouting louder than them.

“I’ll skin the three of you.” The monotonous voice silences the other three and then the entire crowd of cadets. Levi always approaches so stealthily… It must be his height.

Jean, Eren and you have the most shocked and colorless faces.
The crowd quickly dissolves before Levi decides to drag anyone else into this.

“Let’s think about a good punishment in Erwin’s office, shall we?” Levi turns his back and heads to the building, the three of you follow him with your heart in your mouth.

“Shorty, I need Eren.” Hanji says, hands on hips.

“You need no shit.” Levi growls and enters the HQ.

She laughs and goes after him, letting Moblit behind with all the equipment to carry back inside.

Erwin looks at the three cadets in a line in front of him.
He sighs.

“What do we have here?” He looks at Hanji and Levi.

“Raging hormones exchanging punches on the ground.” Levi says, looking distracted to his left hand, repeatedly opening it and closing it into a fist.

Erwin's eyes dart at you immediately, wondering if you were fighting too.

“I-I did nothing, sir, I was separating them.” You raise your hand.

The other two cadets nod.

“Well, as expected.” Erwin raises his eyebrows. “Then get off the execution line.” He jokes.

Eren and Jean gulp. You run to Erwin, standing beside him.

“What should your punishment be?” He wonders out loud.

“Helping with paperwork wouldn’t hurt…” You mutter, looking at the Commander’s desk, which is full of papers.

To your dismay, Erwin hears you. He looks at you, his deep blue eyes piercing through your soul.
You cover your mouth with both hands, scared.

“I’m really sorry, sir, I was thinking aloud…”

But Erwin is not angry, he looks somewhat surprised.

“Actually, this is not a bad idea at all.”

The room is silent for a few moments.

“This punishment will be useful, at least.” Erwin nods after speaking, agreeing with himself.

Tense, Eren and Jean look at each other.

“Very well. The three of us are the ones with the most troublesome paperwork, so I believe one week with a personal assistant will be very helpful.” Erwin looks at Hanji and Levi, who nod in agreement.

“I’ll stay with Eren!” Hanji squeaks.

“I don’t think so, Hanji.” Erwin frowns, concerned. “You will end up doing experiments on him all the time.”

“So Eren goes to Levi, then?” She pouts.

“I don’t want him.” Levi rolls his eyes in annoyance, arms crossed.

“I see no problem if Eren helps me.” Erwin concludes.

“Then I’ll get the almighty one!” Hanji raises her hand and points at you. “You stay with Jean, Levi.”

“Eat shit. The girl is already experienced with paperwork and this guy smells weird, you take him.”

“Then, it’s decided.” Erwin smiles, looking quite pleased with the result. “We can start right now. Everybody back to work.”

You, Eren and Jean exchange worried looks.

You spend the entire afternoon working in Levi's office. After some hours actually focused, you start to get nervous, remembering what has happened inside that office with him so far.

But you can’t talk to him about any of this. It’s frustrating.
At least he isn’t freaking out with every touch and kiss anymore. After all, recently it was but innocent kisses.

It's been almost a week since that day. He's been starving you ever since.
But now, looking at the Corporal before you and knowing that you will work only with him during this week, makes you want more than to casually kiss him every now and then.

Levi notices your stare and looks up to meet your eyes.
He perfectly reads what you're thinking just by your expression, you're so transparent.
Tensing up when aware of your greedy stare, he clears his throat and resumes his writing.

“Stop spacing out, cadet.”

“Yessir…” You sulk.

This adorable face of yours messes up with his imagination. Levi tries to ignore it.

“Why did you get involved in the fight?”

“I didn’t. I was just trying to stop them.”

“Hm.”

“But I was really happy when you picked me back there…” You smile and look away, feeling your cheeks going hot.

“I told no lie. You know my paperwork routine and the boy stinks.” He comments in a distracted tone.

You make a cute face with a side smirk, redirecting your attention to checking your papers.
Levi frowns, suddenly remembering something when he sees your expression. Noticing that Levi is suddenly upset, you look at him.

“Sir…?”

“The brat is pretty clingy.” He averts his bored eyes, voice tone changing to an irritated one. “And the way he stares.”

Oh. He is talking about Eren.

“Ah, yeah… I noticed it.” You say, absentmindedly.

For some reason, it rubs him the wrong way—the way he looks at you makes it crystal clear.

“Is that so?” He makes sure to sound sarcastic. “So, I guess you’re not as innocent as I thought.”

You look him in the eye. Both are deadly serious.

“I don’t believe innocence has anything to do with it, sir. The kid shows affection and I noticed it.”

He raises an eyebrow.

People usually make this kind of mistake.
Personally, you believe at some point that innocence is a personality trait, as in innocent behavior.
Levi probably thought you were innocent because you didn’t notice things—the truth, however, is that you ignore some things so that acquaintanceship is more easily maintained.

You always notice Levi’s behavior when you are the subject, you are aware of Eren’s teenage crush and other little things in the place you live.

But you’re not stupid; you know what Levi is referring to when talking about innocence. He is hard to read, but this time you understand why he is getting angry.
Innocence has nothing to do with inexperience or shyness. Or virginity.

This, however, is a thing that you usually cannot make people understand.

The love and desire you have for the man in front of you is purely human and they don't interfere with your innocent behavior, if you ever had one.

“I notice things like everyone does, sir.” You say softly. “If this is your concept of innocence, then I believe I’m not.”

You don’t know how Levi’s mind reacts to the things you say—no, of course you do—but he appears to start to get a little uncomfortable in the chair. You want to know so badly what kind of weird thoughts make him like this.

“Hm…” Levi goes back to writing, his tone a little angrier than before. “And here I was, thinking that you should be protected from the cadets' attempts to drag you into their beds.”

Your mouth drops open. What?
Guess things are getting out of hand…?
You frown, tired of avoiding the subject.

“Protect? What do you mean? Are you talking about what? Sex? I had a boyfriend once, you know.”

You’re not helping…

“Oh, and you defended yourself from being dragged into his bed, I suppose?”

Levi is going too far for any common sense. This has just turned into a battle of stoic faces and bored voices with venomous comebacks.

You don’t want to get on bad terms with him.
And you hate this topic. You don’t want to talk about it with anyone, not even Levi. Mainly Levi.

Better stop.

No. Fuck it. Levi, you damn jerk!

“No, I went there on my own two feet and because I wanted to.”

Damn…

Levi angrily slams his fist on the desk, making you almost fall off your chair. You look at his face; it's worse than you thought.
His breathing is getting so shaky and his eyes so frightening that you sincerely believe he is about to either collapse or kill you.

Hasn't he considered the possibility that you had someone in the past? Can’t you?
Just because you're shy and quiet, he thought no one ever touched you? That's precisely why you hate to be carelessly touched; it all started because that guy got too much comfortable around you. If you hadn’t let him approach you at that time…

Is Levi mad by merely picturing you with someone else?
In fact, that first relationship was your worst mistake, but you won't pretend that the things you did didn't happen just because you deeply regret them.

Levi gets up and grabs you by the collar, abruptly pulling you to face him and with that making you bend over his desk.

“Say that one more time. I. Dare. You.” He rages through gritted teeth.

You try to pull back as hard as you can, but Levi keeps you in place. The first button on your shirt flies off with such an abrupt movement.

“What are you so mad at?” You ask, almost shouting. Your shaky voice and your frightened face fall on him like a dangerous turn on.

Grabbing your collar with both hands now, the Corporal pulls you across the desk with all his strength, causing you to slide over it before landing on both feet on the floor. Papers fly everywhere with it.
You can feel his breath on your face, as your noses are almost touching.

You little bastard. Levi has been holding back so much for so long not to ruin you, but in the end you’re already ruined. You’re so cheeky and ungrateful that it makes Levi want to beat you to a pulp—just like the other cadets—, so maybe you’d finally understand.
Oh, so you had a boyfriend? Who is he? Is he in the military? How far did you go with him? Where is he now? Ugh, Levi won’t rest until he kills the vermin.
YOU DAMN WOMAN.

Levi seizes you in his arms and attacks your lips with his.

He kisses you fervently, barely caring if you are responding to it. The grip he has on you doesn’t allow you to move an inch, making it difficult to breathe; both of you are breathing loudly through your nose.

Looks like he lost control again.

Even though you looked angry before, you really aren't. It's been a while since you realized that his harshness feels kind of nice. Also, that looking scared and passive instigates him.
Your head is spinning and the kiss is starting to cloud your mind, but there's one thing you want to try and check, even if you end up failing terribly.
You’re going to make this motherfucker pay for toying with you.

Without any warning, using all your strength on his shoulders, you break the kiss by pushing him onto the small couch. He abruptly lands on it and before he can react, you straddle him.

Levi looks upset at being pushed, but doesn't complain when he sees you above him.
He has a mischievous glint in his serious, half-lidded eyes and his breathing is unsteady. His hand touches the back of your clothed thigh, moving upward without breaking eye contact.

“Don’t touch me.” You order with an unexpected, steady voice and the coldest, most indifferent face you can pull off. Levi stops and frowns in confusion, but before anything can get through his head, you lean over him, getting closer to his face and ordering in a whisper. “Touch yourself instead.”

His eyes widen in shock.

He looks angry and incredulous at you, opening his mouth to speak. You grab his hair by the roots and pull his head back, just enough to hurt a little.
Levi groans loudly and you can bet it’s not pain.

“I’m waiting, sir. Let me see it.” You whisper into his ear, never letting go of your serious, bored tone. He shudders under you and turns his face away.

Your face is ridiculously flushed, but you're pretty sure he can barely notice anything now.
Since the broom closet event, you've suspected he has a thing for roughness, hair pulling being part of it.
If anything can go wrong, it will be right now. He doesn’t appear to like being dominated, but you’ve made your bet. At least so far, he hasn't pushed you. Levi is breathing hard through his nose while his mouth and eyes are tightly shut.

Hesitantly, his trembling left hand slowly reaches his pants.
Your eyes widen and you hold your breath. Will he really…? Is this actually working? You didn't plan anything after this point!

He looks really conflicted as he unzips at a torturously slow pace, still turning his face away from you.
Your heart threatens to stop at the ‘click’ sound of the button opening. You still haven't let go of his hair, but your hand is getting a little shaky with nervousness.
You bite your lower lip when Levi takes it out almost fully hard.

He hesitates as he tries a slow first stroke, his mouth falling open without letting out a single sound.

It’s such a precious, rare and unexpected scene that you’re witnessing, so you do your best to not make any noise—you take a silent deep breath and look down again to watch him.

Levi is angry and frustrated, but totally overcome with lust as he slowly stroking himself under you, muffled quiet groans escaping his closed mouth while he presses his feet hard on the wooden floor. You’ll allow him to look away for now.

“You don’t do it often, do you?” You ask out loud in a somewhat controlled tone.

How humiliating. It takes him a moment.

“… Tsk… No.” Levi appears to make a great effort to speak. Besides, the whole situation and now you forcing him to talk is hurting his pride terribly.

“Why not?” You whisper. Honestly, it seems hard to believe; a man who doesn't do it often.

“… It’s dirty, isn’t it obvious?” Levi grunts angrily, voice hoarse with arousal.

Ah, of course, it's Levi after all. You conclude that Levi possibly only does this sort of thing when he can't hold back anymore.

Still holding him by the hair, you pull his head back a little further and slowly scratch the back of his neck with the ring and little fingers of the same hand.
Levi lets out such a loud, frustrated groan that it sends a violent shiver through your spine.

You still can’t believe this is happening. Why didn’t he just punch you in the face and kick you out of his office? Since when does he take you so seriously?
When you started it all, you weren’t prepared for THIS. To be honest, you have no idea what you were expecting.
The view, the sounds, his voice… It’s all too much. You will probably die from this.

“Don’t hold back these sounds of yours.” You force yourself to speak, but it’s difficult for you to keep your tone harsh; the man is making you melt. “I want them all.”

With that, he increases the speed of his strokes. The clear liquid leaking from the tip makes you believe he is enjoying it as much as you are.
Every time you talk harshly to Levi, you can see him shuddering and letting out a loud sigh that ends up as a muffled moan.

“Look at me while you finish.” You say, swallowing hard and not believing yourself.

You know that indifference and seriousness is the key to keeping things right with Levi, so despite the aggressive blush on your face, you prepare the most Corporal-like face you can pull off.

Panting, he lazily moves his face to look at you. His eyelids are heavy and he only opens them enough to see you.
Just when you thought you couldn’t get even more aroused.

His face is red, his mouth slightly open as he gasps, complaining and cursing you under his breath.
You lean in for a kiss, but when he lifts his head to reach you, you just let him lightly brush his lips against yours before pulling away, leaving him hungry to kiss you. He grunts insults you can't understand.

You finally let go of his hair. However, he still has a very pained expression and since you're not hurting him, you can tell the man is getting closer to his limits.

The Corporal starts bucking his hips up, thrusting against his hand, no longer able to contain his muffled noises. Levi is certainly furious at you, but his angry eyes never leave yours for even a second; obedient to a fault.

His eyes twitch and roll back before closing tightly. He quietly gasps through parted lips as he pushes himself over the edge, only stopping stroking after there is no more liquid to spill from him.
It makes you swallow loudly as you watch him.

Eyes still closed, Levi lets out a long, loud sigh that ends in a low moan of relief.
It really seems like he doesn't do that very often. He must have wanted this release for a long time.
The two of you stand still for almost a minute as Levi tries to normalize his breathing, his entire body trembling at the lingering sensation.

Trying to suppress your own arousal, you bite down hard on your lower lip and gently stroke his face with the back of your fingers.
Descending from his high and now fully aware of what happened, he silently adjusts his clothes, trying his best not to get dirtier.
You can see the fury building in his expression as he zips up.

With his clean hand, Levi grabs your collar and pulls you closer to his face.

“What was that?” He asks through gritted teeth, anger quite apparent despite his heavily flushed neck and cheeks. His voice is husky and you feel his hot breath against your lips as he speaks.

“You tell me.” You forget to stop deadpanning at him.

“Who do you think you are, you brat? Don't you dare—”

Levi is interrupted by your lips clashing with his. He grunts angrily and pushes you away.
Your expression is back to normal—all silly again—, and you grab his left wrist, bringing it close to your red face, curiosity all over it.

“Let me see it.” You ask softly, but eager to get a look at the dirty liquid in his hand.

He instinctively closes his hand and pulls it away from your grip.

“Fuck off.” He pushes you again, intending to force you to get up, but you grab his jacket and stay in place. “Get out of my office. Now.”

But then your expression changes to one sincerely confused, almost harmless.

“A-Are you sure? Because… You really did a number on me right now, you know…” You stop straddling him and sit on his lap, pressing your clothed groin against his thigh to show him what you are talking about.

Really, you're pretty sure he could slide in without any problems nor the need for any further foreplay now.

Levi closes his eyes for a moment at the sensation, secretly enjoying it and softening his expression a little, but recovers it after opening his eyes.

“Don’t… You're dirtying my clothes…” He breathes.

Levi looks so conflicted with himself that you start to feel a little bad for him.
A sudden gesture of his right hand unzips your pants, making your shoulders jump in shock.

“Sir?!” Your eyes widen, but Levi is concentrating on trying to unbutton his pants with one hand, the lack of expression now back on his face.

He slides his right hand in.

“Waitwaitwa—” Never before have you found yourself more turned on than now, but suddenly you become self-conscious, so ashamed of everything that you grab his wrist and try to pull it away.

“Shut up.” Levi whispers sensually into your ear, his fingertips slowly finding their way.

There is a knock at the door.

“Goddamnit.” Levi curses under his breath.

You sigh in frustration.

“What is it?” He shouts so loud it scares you. His hand is still inside your pants, now teasing with feather touches over your panties. You wince at it.

“Commander Smith is calling for a meeting, sir.” The cadet answers shyly from the other side of the closed door.

“I’m finishing an important paper now, I’ll go as soon as I can.” He says, showing annoyance.

Still shivering under his touches, you cover your ears because he is talking too loud.

“But he said it’s urgent, sir.”

Levi grunts and lets out a ‘tsk’.

“Sir?” The cadet calls him, hesitant.

“I heard you already, idiot.” Still keeping his face stoic, with an apologetic look in his eyes, he takes his hand out of your pants and goes into his office's attached restroom to wash his hands.

You only exchange a glance before he leaves the office and starts insulting the boy, closing the door behind him before the cadet can see you.

As you calm down, you wait almost ten minutes to leave his office, looking around before leaving.
Right now, you don't have anyone to help, as all the high ranks are in Erwin's office for their stupid meeting. So, you take a really cold shower and scream all your mixed and confused feelings into your pillow.

It's still mid-afternoon, so technically you can't dismiss yourself and call it a day, but after a few minutes of lying on your stomach, you fall asleep with a silly smile on your lips.

The next day, during breakfast, you are sitting alone.
Jean and Eren suddenly sit on either side of you, startling you.
They look exhausted and terrified.

“Just where does all that paperwork comes from??” Eren asks with wide, shocked eyes.

“I've wondered this since the day I got here.” You say with your mouth full.

“Don’t complain, Eren! Hanji didn’t even let me leave her office last night!” Jean’s eyes are red from lack of sleep. He turns to you. “Why is she three months late on paperwork??? Aren't you working with her daily???”

“She's a little disorganized.” You calmly state.

“A little??? That Moblit guy should be promoted to Commander as a reward!!”

Eren is grateful not to be in Jean's place as Hanji's assistant.

“And oh my God, Yeager… Do you really go into heat?” Jean squeaks. “That’s gross!!”

“S-Shut up, Jean.” Eren blushes terribly. “D-Don’t tell anyone!”

Yeah. Reading Hanji’s reports has its cons, Jean. Though you still feel that papers like those should be kept in safer places… Because while the experiments on Eren are not a secret among the Survey Corps cadets, some other things are, like the heat itself.
The Survey Corps just allowed a low-ranking cadet—beside you—read about a top-secret topic. What a laidback division.
And there you are, completely done, trying to eat between Eren and Jean fighting verbally above your head. Brats…

Hanji, Erwin, and Levi are watching you from their table.

“Oh, they’re getting along fine now, that’s great.” Hanji smiles.

13. Seawater

Today is your day off. You still haven't talked to Levi since what happened yesterday, but things seem to be okay.
As you take a stroll around the headquarters, you hear Eren calling you.

“Hey, Eren. Did the Commander dismiss you?”

“Amh, no. Still on paperwork duty… But he told me we’re going on an expedition!”

“Oh.” You blink once. It’s been months since they went on one. “It’s your first expedition, that’s why you are excited, right?” You smile.

“Yeah. They decided it yesterday during a meeting.”

Ah, you doubt it. If you know him well, Erwin must have been planning it for a long time and probably set the date way before the meeting.
So, that’s what that meeting was for. That’s why you were interrupted yesterday. It’s all Erwin’s fault.
Damn you, Erwin Smith!

“That’s great, Eren.” 

You don’t go on expeditions, but you do have to listen to the plans and orders like any other cadet.
In a few days, Levi is leaving again and you can only hope he comes back.

Lately, Levi has been so busy that he barely leaves Erwin’s office now. Preparations for the expedition, you suppose.
You notice some suspicious but discreet commotion from some of the high ranks. You wonder if this expedition has any other reason than the one claimed by Erwin, but you're not going anyway, so you just ignore it and keep up your hard work.

An expedition accumulates paperwork on the desks. In addition, each death means an individual report that must attach various documents of the deceased, such as scores during the three years of training, titans kill history, physical and behavioral description and more.

You'd like Eren and Jean to mess up again after getting back from the expedition so they can help with the incoming paperwork.

Erwin calls you to assist him out for a while; he can’t find a specific document among the paper towers on his desk.
The Commander called you to help him, all right, but he’s actually on his couch, drinking tea while absentmindedly looking at the fields through the window.
You find a paper different from the ones you see during work. It looks like the secret ones Erwin takes from his drawer when he dismisses you.

With the paper in hand, you turn to Erwin and ask if it's what he is looking for, but you can’t help but read some of the words when looking at it. The document is related to the expedition—there’s something about a traitor and Eren’s place in the formation.
You definitely shouldn’t read the document or know it exists.
The Commander takes the paper and sighs in relief to see that you have actually found it. He dismisses you, but you’re barely listening to him now; the traitor subject makes your heart beat faster; something inside your chest hurts.

Days go by and you don't have time to talk to Levi again. The only thing you two are able to do is exchange glances, sometimes very deep, so meaningful that you begin to fear that the expedition will end in something worse than usual, and that Levi knows it.

The now dreaded day arrives and you wake up early just to greet the soldiers. How sad it is to watch Levi’s back as the soldiers depart.

You go to the library to read your old, red, rotten leather-bound book, which you have strangely grown quite fond of.
Concentrating now is hard, though. You keep remembering your former colleague’s visit that night.

The afternoon ends and you hear that the soldiers have already returned to Wall Rose.
It worries you deeply. Something went wrong.

However, time passes and they don’t return to the HQ building, where you are. Apparently, everyone went to Sina because Eren is in trouble and will be tried again in court.

After a few days, the news the Garrison’s soldiers bring to the Survey Corps HQ is that a titan appeared in Sina and Eren fought against it. The titan was a girl from the Military Police and she locked herself inside a crystal. Or something like that.

Wild.

They say the Corporal injured his leg, but he also participated in the final fight.
You sigh in relief. The Corporal is alive.

Calculating how long news usually takes to spread, it means they should be arriving from Sina soon.
That same afternoon, they return with mortified countenances.

Just like the last time the soldiers came back, you silently watch them slowly occupy the building.
This catches your attention and your concern: compared to the number of soldiers who left the building, the number of people returning is ridiculously smaller.

Eren is in shock, Mikasa supporting him.
Levi is standing next to Erwin, face stoic as usual, but now you know the Corporal well enough to say that something is definitely wrong with him.

You return to your room so you can work, the old red book now going with you wherever you go.
Falling asleep at your desk, you accidentally skip dinner.

For the next few days, you barely leave the Commander's office, and when you do, it's just to eat and sleep. Hanji is angry about this! How dare he not respect the schedule and have your assistance longer than others?
You still haven't had a chance to talk to Levi, who now is being followed nonstop by Eren.

After asking around, you find out that Levi’s squad died inside the forest of giant trees. So now you understand why he looks down.
You decide to leave him alone for a while so he can manage his feelings and deal with the loss.

You only do it because that's how Levi handles things. Unlike Eren, who need you to hear him a lot of times and be physically around so he doesn't have an emotional breakdown.

A few more days pass and after Erwin uses you to his heart’s content, you’re finally set to work with Levi again.

Levi's expression softens as he sees you walk into his office.

You're not sure whether to talk about his squad or keep quiet. But you decide to just say 'I'm sorry for your team, sir' when you sit on your chair.
Levi flips his papers, his stoic expression returning.

“There’s nothing to do about it.”

You work in silence for the rest of the afternoon. When dismissed, you walk to the door and turn to look at him before you leave.

“I’m glad you’re back, sir.” You say softly.

Levi looks at you as you close the door.

Two weeks since you told him you’re glad he returned.

Levi's office would be dead silent if it weren't for his labored breathing and the loud wet sounds coming from under his desk.

In fact, you don’t know exactly how you two ended up like this.
If you had to say, you believe it all started with soft kisses that turned rough, and then somehow Levi was sitting in his chair with the zipper and button open and you between his legs.

He can't decide whether to close his eyes, throw his head back and enjoy the feeling, or whether he should look directly at you, taking in all the details of what you're doing.
This seems to be his only conflict at the moment.

One hand is painfully tangled on your hair, twitching involuntarily every now and then, while the other is holding the base of his length.
Honestly, you find out that this is not your favorite activity. At all. It is hard to do, it tastes weird and your gag reflex made you cough hard during the two times he tried to push your head down and roll his hips up.

But Levi is making the cutest faces you've ever seen him do. He is undone and often gasps for air, lost in your care.

Ever since you started, his body has been shaking and visibly spasming. His very low moans turn into growls of anger and agony when you eventually suck him.
Levi is really holding back not to give thrusts into your mouth. How difficult it is. He desperately wants to ravish this precious mouth of yours.
You wonder if he's ever fantasized about this sort of thing with you.
It is the first time you are doing it, though.

You can’t take him too deep, but he looks pretty pleased with what you have done so far.

Both of your faces are flushed, the wet, obscene sounds you are making isn't helping much about it.
You're not quite sure what to do, so you're letting the tips of his length rub against the inside of your cheek as you press your tongue against him, trying to bob your head up and down.
Out of shame, when he looks at you, you immediately look away. He finds it cute every single time. Not so brave anymore, huh.

Levi’s breathing gets even more erratic and he is noisier now.

“Enough.” He breathes.

He is getting closer, but you want to keep going and see what his face will look like when he releases—last time, you were too busy watching his hand work.

“I said, enough!” With his hand gripping your hair, he pulls it, trying to move you away from him, but the hair pulling only makes him even more turned on and you refuse to stop. “Damnit… Stop…” He barely says it.

Levi’s head lowers as he shuts his eyes and opens his mouth, shuddering while his expression turns into a frown.
You feel the hot liquid spurting inside your mouth and you try to swallow it as fast as you can, because the taste is definitely not okay.

You would compare it to seawater, but you have never seen the sea, so you can’t associate it with anything in particular.

Seeing your grimace, Levi, still in pure bliss, starts ruffling your hair.

“That’s why I told you to stop, idiot…” Tired, he lets his head fall back and closes his eyes, sighing in relief.

Waiting for him to recover, you adjust his clothes and zip up his pants.
Levi makes an ‘hm’ in appreciation.

With his head still thrown back, he signals you to climb into his lap. You comply instantly.
When you sit down, he lifts his head and kisses you.

Levi’s warm mouth tastes like the tea he drank before it all happened.
He gently sucks your tongue during the kiss.

You are quite impressed that he’d do such a thing, as you know he thinks doing it right now is absolutely filthy.

“Better?” He asks in a bored tone after breaking the kiss.

You nod, eyes still closed and a soft smile on your lips.
You lay your head on his shoulder and relax when he starts stroking your back.

“If you weren’t so big, I could work with you like this, but you’re huge so get out of there and get back to work.”

“No.” You hug him around the neck to make sure he won't push you away.

In peaceful silence, you continue to enjoy being in his lap—and, by doing so, forcing him not to work—not letting go until your time with him is over.

Despite being buried in overdue paperwork, Levi doesn’t complain once.

❖

At night, after curfew, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Bertolt, and Reiner sneak out of their dorms to steal food and alcohol, the latter belonging only to the high ranks.

Eren stays up late in Hanji's experiment room, so when finally leaving it, he meets the group. He and Jean start bickering loudly, causing them to get caught, of course.

They are in line at Erwin’s office in the morning before breakfast.
Erwin is very upset.
People trying to steal THEIR precious alcohol? What’s next? Their precious secretary?
You, Hanji and Levi are also in the room.

“What do I do with you?” Erwin crosses his arms, speaking harshly to the teenagers.

You, however, squeak out of happiness when seeing so many of them awaiting punishment, most likely doomed to paperwork duty. You could jump, you could dance, you could take Levi in your arms in bridal style. Oh no, you’re giggling loudly now.
Erwin looks at you with a raised eyebrow and clears his throat.
Levi also looks surprised, although he's used to seeing you react oddly quite often.

“Due to our last expedition, we are currently having problems with paperwork and reports of our lost soldiers.” Erwin explains. “Our secretary here usually takes care of most of it herself, but the deadline is tight and even with her help there is a lot to do.”

They are all tense and looking at each other. Jean and Eren gulp at the déjà vu.

“In addition, she has to take care of her own paperwork. So, this time, I'm not just going to assign an assistant to each high rank, but one to her as well.”

You open such a warped smile and your maniac eyes shine so brightly that the line of guilty soldiers is now looking at you. Levi, however, doesn't look amused by Erwin’s words.

“But I’ve also heard from Corporal Levi that some of you think paperwork is the easy life, so on top of that, you will also clean the stables and the kitchen.” Erwin gets frighteningly serious.

Everyone’s faces are pale with horror. Jean winces.

“The punishment will last for two weeks.”

The small group is open-mouthed. The punishment is harsh and long for sneaking out after curfew and stealing food and alcohol. You better never mess with the adults’ privileges again, you brats!

“I believe that with this, you can learn to respect the belongings of your superiors and the food that all soldiers share.”

Mainly the alcohol, mainly the alcohol.

You look at them. You know that Bertolt only got into trouble because he followed Reiner.
And Eren… He was just heading back to his room and couldn’t repress his urge to fight Jean every time they meet, like two wild cats with brains the size of a bitten peanut.

“Very well, can we pick them again?” Hanji asks, all smiles.

Erwin nods.

“I’ll get her!” She yells, pointing at you with finger guns.

“… She is not available…” Erwin looks at Hanji. Didn’t she hear him just now?

“Don’t be stupid, shitty-glasses, she’ll take care of my paperwork.”

“She isn’t available.” Erwin repeats, a bit displeased.

Eren raises his hand.

“Sir, I would like to help her.” He politely points at you with an open hand.

Jean snorts.

“Is that ok to you?” Erwin asks, looking at you.

“Sure.”

“Very well then, who else?”

“I’ll get the girl, then.” Hanji says with her hands on her hips, looking at Sasha.

“I’ll take Eren.”

“Eren was already assigned to our secretary, Levi.” Erwin frowns in confusion.

“I don’t care, I’ll take him.”

Eren is scared, shaking his head negatively.

“Maybe we should calmly discuss this and announce the decision by the end of the day, then…” Erwin gives Levi a ‘what is happening?’ look. “Everyone dismissed.”

Later, mysteriously, it ends up with you being assisted by Jean (insert Eren’s frustrated noises here).

During this week you won’t get to see Levi. Each high rank is being assisted all the time by the same brat assigned to them.

Levi is being assisted by Eren (insert Eren’s even more frustrated noises here) and you are sure he is making the boy regret every single word he ever said to you.

You don’t know what Levi told Erwin, but it somehow went along with Levi’s whims.

Jean probably thinks you’re cute, but his behavior is different from Eren's.
He’s bold and stubborn, but the time you spent with Levi taught you how to shut up any brat.
When he doesn’t have an argument, Jean calls you ‘old woman’ and you angrily slap him on the back of the head, calling him ‘brat’ in return.
You and Jean end up almost friends.

Eren is worried about this proximity. And obviously Jean uses it as a mocking subject, even if he doesn't have that kind of interest in you.

Hanji likes Sasha as a person, but the girl doesn’t work well and sleeps when tired.
She trades her with Mike, who is tired of Connie being unable to understand the paperwork.

So, it’s not working as well as last time.
However, despite their efforts, you can’t help but notice this strange feeling inside your chest. You feel frustrated, somehow.

The only satisfied one at the end of the two weeks is Erwin, who got both Bertolt and Reiner to help him. The boys look extremely tense all the time, though.

At the end of the punishment, everyone worked so hard that you finally realize:
You feel threatened and jealous. Regarding work, it is.
Just… Just what on Earth…?

But yeah, that’s right. It doesn't matter how much they try, they won't become as good as you. Ever.

No, that's an exaggeration.
No, this is just your wish for a special and eternal place for you in the Survey Corps.

There’s no need to sabotage anyone, though; you will simply be better than them. You will always have overwhelming control of everything.

The way you behave about your work and your role is the same as how you behave in your relationship with Levi.

Levi is yours. The job is yours. There's jealousy and pride running in your veins.

Ashamed of your own ugly heart, with a kind smile you thank Jean for his help and dismiss him.
What a hypocrite.

The dormitories and rooms that belonged to the now deceased soldiers need to be opened, cleaned, and vacated.
A difficult task, actually, even more so when you knew who lived there.

Everyone has to help; there are too many dorm rooms and beds for just a small group to take care of them entirely.
Personal belongings must be sent to the deceased’s family and if he or she has no family at all; burnt in a bonfire.

Passing by, you find Levi alone in Petra’s room, the door open. His eyes aren’t looking at anything in specific.
You enter the room, now almost empty. Noticing someone else has entered, Levi turns his head. His thoughtful expression softens when he realizes it's you.

It’s the first time you are alone with him since that day, when things went out of control again.

Standing beside him in silence, you discreetly hold his hand.
You thought he’d evade your hand or scold you, but he holds your hand back. Your heart stops for a second.

“You also noticed, right? That she liked you.” You ask calmly and in a very quiet voice, almost a whisper.

Levi looks at you for a moment—expressionless as usual—and then looks away, not intending to answer.

“Yeah, I thought you would know it too.” Your voice has no traces of jealousy or anger. Your heart isn’t heavy because you never actually hated Petra. She had the right to love whoever she wanted. And you know Levi must be secretly grateful that you behave differently from him when it comes to this matter.

The apprehension inside Levi’s heart comes out of his mouth:

“You might die the way she did.” Levi says without looking at you, his eyes fixed on some random spot on the wall across the room.

Is he worried about this?
You look at him, not minding that he doesn’t look back.

“Ah, that. We all will. Because we are at war; all of us will have terrible premature deaths.”

Your pep talk is terrible.

Levi tightens the grip on your hand.
He doesn’t mind dying. He really doesn’t. But… When it comes to you…

“Nothing lasts forever even during peaceful times. You and I are not eternal either.” You lower your head and slightly smile. “And you know…? That’s fine with me. I fear no end if I’m happy along the way.”

You are using the situation to talk about this weird relationship you have. He notices it.
Levi won’t talk directly about it, so it’s probably less uncomfortable for him to do it like this.

“I made some choices a long time ago. Some of them can’t be undone now.” He says and you believe he’s referring to joining the Survey Corps, unaware of the losses in his life and his deep connection with Erwin.

“I won’t interfere in that.”

He sighs heavily through his nose, you can’t tell if he is frustrated or thoughtful.

“I can not guarantee you are always safe.”

“No one can.”

He clicks his tongue. It’s hard to make you understand if he doesn’t say it directly, but he just can’t. He isn’t allowed to.
But he still has to warn you. He wants—no, he needs you to be careful about certain things that are going on. You just don’t know about them yet, but he can’t afford to wait.

“You might not believe it, but even Erwin is a threat that could kill you one day.”

“Haha, right?” You look at him with your eyebrows up and a smirk. “I feel it deep in my gut since I joined the Survey Corps.”

Ugh, you idiot.

“Why are you so eager to die?” Now he looks at you, clearly upset. You tilt your head.

“I’m not. I'm a soldier. These things are the consequences of my choice. I can’t struggle against them.”

How stupid. You are terribly unaware of the dangers that await you around the corner. If only he could tell you directly and make you act more carefully… But if he does, he is going to mess things up.
Sometimes you’re so quick on the uptake, but there are moments when you’re as dumb as a doorknob. And this is one of those moments.
This bubbly stupidity of yours can really be troublesome.

Levi swallows, making a lot of effort. Maybe he is shaken in some aspect…?
But there’s a painful knot in your throat and your heart is about to explode; you’re not much better than him.

You and Levi stand there for a few moments, holding hands in silence

The Corporal brings your tangled hands to his face and, closing his eyes, kisses your knuckles.

Ah, there goes your heart.

“Stupid brat.” He sighs and leaves the room.

You silently follow him.

The rest of the cleaning is difficult for everyone. Even Hanji is a bit down this afternoon.
All the dormitories and individual rooms are locked after emptied and cleaned, their keys then handed to Erwin.

14. Heart in heat

After a long meeting about what happened during the expedition and what to do next (since Annie has locked herself inside a crystal), tired, you sit on the big sofa in the main hall, lazily watching the movement and noise caused by the cadets walking and chatting.

You want to sleep in your room, but you're not exactly mustering up enough will to do it.

The soldiers are dissipating as time is passing and curfew arrives, emptying the halls and corridors. You fall asleep on the couch and after a few minutes you are sprawled on it, lying on your stomach.

This kind of thing happens from time to time, usually it ends with you being woken up by a higher-up shooing you to your room.

The huge main hall is now empty and the only noise in it is the sound of your breathing.

However, you are in a light sleep, waking up easily when you feel someone climbing onto the couch and holding you tightly, locking your forearms against your chest.
Opening your eyes in shock, you try to scream, but the force applied to the grip is suffocating you.

Turning your head back to see the attacker, you recognize Eren, panting and sweating, his flushed face carrying an expression of desperate pain.

Heat…!
You whine to yourself, scared because now there's not a single soul around to save you.
The empty building made it easier to sense your smell with his heat-driven enhanced senses.

“Eren!” You call him, trying to bring him back to reality, struggling under his grip.

Eren usually has absurd strength. Under this kind of circumstance, he's already shown that he gets even stronger.

He calls your name in a moan, pulls you hard against him and holds you like that, rubbing himself indecently on you.

‘Yeah, you better hold me tight, because if you don’t, I’m gonna kill you…’ You think to yourself, grimacing.

You forgave him the first time, but letting this happen for a second time is unforgivable to you.

“Eren, if you don’t let go of me…” You are angry and trying to hit him with your elbow, but it’s hard to breathe and the way he is pinning you and pulling your hips is hurting like hell.

Eren bites the back of your neck, sinking his teeth in your soft skin.
Your cry of pain seems to stir him even more; he continuously sucks where he bit. You yell at him to stop as you try to shove him away with your shoulders, but the resistance only makes him moan more pleasurably.

He keeps rubbing his crotch on you at a slow pace, moaning loudly in a way you didn’t want to know he could.

“Stop, Eren! That’s gross.” You only can whisper due to his tight grip.

But then he reaches the straps of your pants.
Enough.
Plus, he now is holding you with just one arm.

With everything you've got, you twist yourself under the titan shifter and kick him in the groin. Not waiting for Eren to recover, you land a second kick to his stomach and another to his chest. He is thrown back.

Kneeling, you aim a punch to his nose before Eren can even squirm in pain. But you’re not done yet so you hit another one between the eye and cheekbone.

Only now you allow the boy to writhe as you run from the main hall to find help.
Scared and out of breath, you run into Mike and immediately throw yourself into his safe arms before starting to cry like a child.

After calming down, you are called to Hanji's experiment room.

This time, not only are Levi, Hanji and Moblit there, but also Mike—the one who restrained a struggling Eren and dragged him there.
Despite already being asleep, the Corporal was summoned for being the one responsible for the boy.

Eren's hands are free; Mike captured him in a hurry, so they didn't have time to handcuff the boy before throwing him in the cell.

Hanji throws a bucket of cold water at Eren.
It doesn’t make him fully return to his normal state, but he snaps out of his trance and can now speak while shivering with cold.
But then you notice; Eren is so much more beaten than you remember him to be. He has blood and bruises all over his face and body. You didn’t do that.

Hanji is serious this time, even as she asks questions and tells Moblit to register everything.
With the color drained from his face, Levi pushes Hanji aside and grabs Eren’s collar, pulling him against the bars of the cell.

“So now you’re looking for victims to attack after curfew, huh?”

“I wasn’t doing that, sir!” Eren vainly tries to pull away. “I noticed that my sense of smell got sharp, so I knew the heat was coming. I was looking for Hanji because I felt weird again and was afraid of hurting someone!” Distressed and with a trembling voice, he nearly shouts as he explains.

“Hanji’s office isn’t in a female cadet’s pants, is it?” Still holding the boy by the collar, Levi moves Eren’s face away from the bars only to pull him back, hurting his face even more. “Brat, if you want to get your sorry ass kicked again so much you just have to ask.”

Ah, so it was Levi who thrashed him like that.

Mike approaches you and pats your shoulder reassuringly as he checks your face to see if you're calmer.

“When I heard about this heat thing, I didn’t think it was this serious.” Mike looks at Hanji with stern eyes. “You better start talking.”

“Well,” Hanji starts. “now we know that it takes a whole day to go away and that it happens once every two months, probably a month and a half.” Now she directs her eyes to you. “Coincidentally, and unfortunately, our friend here had to pay the price for all the information.”

“Don't you dare let this animal out of the cage, shitty-glasses.” Levi crosses his arms; he’s finally expressionless again, but his tone is noticeably angry. “Keep him here for at least a week.”

“Once the heat is gone, there’s no need to keep him locked up, shorty.”

The Corporal glares at her, sending shivers down her spine.

“B-but you can make him clean the stables or do the dishes. However,” She looks at the titan shifter. “you will need to be locked up from time to time now, Eren.”

“I understand!” He nods desperately. “I was coming here for that, actually.”

Looking at the boy, Mike crosses his arms.

“I woke up with a female scream and went to look for where it came from. She didn’t scream a second time because you were suffocating her, so I had to guess the direction. It was a miracle this girl was safe when I found you—for your luck.”

Drowned in guilt, Eren's hand reaches out to you through the cell bars.

“I’m really sorry… Are you hurt?”

“Put this hand back in, brat, or I’ll cut both off so you won’t even be able to jerk off during the heat.” Levi growls.

You clear your throat at the vulgar comment.
Gulping, Eren complies.

“I guess we’re done, then?” Mike asks Hanji. “This little lady here needs to go back to her room and rest.”

“Oh, right. Everyone dismissed.” Hanji says without taking her eyes off what Moblit is writing about Eren’s enhanced senses.

After leaving the experiment room, Levi approaches you.

“Oi, brat.”

“Yessir?” You answer promptly, but you are tired, embarrassed, angry and frustrated. Even talking to Levi doesn't seem appealing right now, even if he's there to once again tell you it wasn't your fault.

“You will be doing the dishes for a week.”

“What?”

“Perhaps this will teach you not to sleep recklessly in public places after curfew.”

“But…”

“As you said once, the male cadets here have no moderation. So, until they do, you're not going to give them a chance to do whatever they want with you.”

You stare at him with your mouth open, wondering if that makes sense. Well, it probably does.
He grabs your face with one hand—squeezing your cheeks—and looks you in the eye.

“It’s an order.”

“… Yessir.”

“Good.” Releasing you, he starts walking towards his room, but stops after a few steps to look back at you. “By the way…”

“Hm?” You turn to look at him.

“You did quite a number on the brat. Looks like you know how to react when you want.”

It’s this a compliment?

The next afternoon, you are leaving another boring meeting, accompanied by Hanji and Levi.

Eren runs to you. Armin and Mikasa are watching from afar.
‘He’s doing it again…’ Groaning internally, you sigh.

“I… I don’t even know what to say, but I’m really sorry… I messed up really really really bad… I—”

You slap him. Hard.

Eren doesn’t even turn his head back to look at you; he lowers it instead to avoid eye contact.

“Remember this.” You say coldly and walk away, leaving everyone behind.

Mikasa runs to Eren, checking his red cheek. You don’t know how much Hanji told her, but it must have been enough because the girl doesn't appear to be mad at you.

You know you’re going to talk to Eren again, but you're free to be angry at him for a while.

Looking rather surprised at your reaction, Levi raises his eyebrows.

“Not bad…”

That same afternoon you are working in Levi’s office. Deep silence in the room, as usual.
Hanji enters without knocking, already talking to Levi—which bothers him.

You turn your face to look at her and Levi notices something on the back of your neck as your hair has moved from there.

“You’re not the Commander. Knock.” Levi signs the reports on the experiments performed on Eren and hands them back to Hanji, immediately shooing her away.

After she closes the door, you go back to mind your paper, but Levi’s expression turns scary enough for you to notice.

“What is that on your nape?”

instinctively, you run your hand over the place. It doesn’t take you long to remember that the night before Eren sucked hard for a long time; it must have left a huge hickey.
You blush.

“I… I guess it was Eren, sir… I mean, yesterday.” You don’t even dare look at him.

“Disgusting.”

You wince.

“Not you, idiot.” Levi gets up from his chair and walks over to you, standing behind you. You wince again when his fingers move the hair away from your nape and then leans closer to your face. “The nasty mark on your pure skin.” Torturously slowly, he licks the bruised skin.

You cover your mouth with both hands. His lips touch you ear.

“Next time a man tries to mark you as his,” Levi whispers into your ear. “I’ll kill him.”

Calmly walking back to his chair, the Corporal returns to his papers as if nothing had happened.

When heading to your room, Hanji waves at you. It makes you have a mini heart attack, afraid of being dragged into her office so late at night. However, she is just as tired and only hands you a file.

“Please take care of this one for me, ok?” She says while yawning, which slurs her every word.

You look at the file, running your eyes over the data on the cover.
Ok.

Wait, that's illegal.

“A… Are you sure? This doesn’t look like something I should—”

“Thanks, you’re the best.” She pats you on the head and leaves.

You sigh and enter your room.
At your desk, working on the terribly forbidden document, you realize it’s been a while since you last wrote to your family. You also stopped visiting them so often because the trip is too long and sometimes you arrive later than expected when you return. When that happens, the schedule is disrupted, which upsets Erwin and the other high ranks. But mostly Erwin (Levi is always angry when you leave the building, so you don’t take him into account).

You feel a little sad.

❖

Erwin isn’t even waiting for the cadets to make mistakes so they can be punished with paperwork; he is directly calling them for help.

The point is: if there were more people, the paperwork wouldn't be such a mess. At the very beginning you had already told him that. It's a lot of work for few people to deal with.
But lately, you don’t like the idea of cadets other than you dealing with paperwork.

Organizing the files on Erwin's shelves, you quietly watch as the Commander summons the kids into his office and assigns them to paperwork duty.
You bite your bottom lip in frustration.

Eren, Mikasa, Armin and Jean were called in to help as they appear to get the job done faster.

Obviously, they will only touch documents that are neither important nor confidential.
The commander orders you to instruct them on how to do the work of each high rank. You would gladly do this because this means fewer tasks for you to do, but… Grr.

Because you don't have an office, you teach them in the main hall.
The one who gets things faster is Armin. In this respect, he reminds you a little of yourself.
Eren is as enthusiastic as ever but makes absurd mistakes along the way. Mikasa does things well, but at a slow pace. Jean gets everything right, but complains too much and usually asks a lot of questions—and always forgets what your answer was.
You suggest he get a notebook and write down the instructions, but he ignores it.

You usually explain the paperwork to them after dinner at the large center table in the main hall, while the soldiers are slowly making their way back to their dorms.

“Old woman, this makes no sense!” Jean yells at you as he points at the paper with an open hand, frustrated that Hanji's handwriting is impossible to understand.

You're right next to him, there's no reason for him to shriek that loud…

“Jean!” Eren yells across the table, mad at him for calling you old.

You take action to prevent them from fighting: you slap Jean on the back of the head.

“I told you Moblit writes side notes. Read them, scandalous brat.”

While the boy grumbles and turns the pages of the report, you realize that you're becoming a Lance Corporal Levi yourself little by little.

Speaking of the devil; every now and then, Levi crosses the main hall for no apparent reason. Except when he comes by and orders you to sleep or else you will all be on cleaning duty the next day.
But when he doesn't, you usually go with paperwork until after curfew, losing track of time.

Even if it's about work, you can't help but occasionally chat while dealing with the papers.
You talk about the books you read, especially that one you fell in love with; the old, destroyed, red leather-bound one.
Already used to hearing stories from you, Eren is the one who pays attention the most.

Jean doesn't care at first, but hearing you tell the story with such enthusiasm and detail, updating it nightly like a verbal novel, makes him grow interested in the book as well.
You don't realize, but not only Levi eventually overhears you talking passionately about the library, the stories and that particular book, but also other cadets completely unrelated to your paperwork team, who are casually hanging out next to you guys until curfew. Some of them don't even pretend they aren't listening to your storytelling anymore.

You find out Armin also frequents the library regularly, but he is interested in books about the world beyond the Walls, books with maps and forbidden reports about what the world was like 100 years ago, before the Walls surrounded humanity. He didn't even know there was a fiction section in the library.
You end up getting to know the kids better with these days of paperwork instructions. And not to brag about, but you aren't a bad teacher at all.

What's more, it helps get paperwork back on track and normalizes its flow.

Jean hates working with Hanji, but the woman loves to get him to help her.
Armin is helping the Commander, and Mikasa; Mike and Nanaba.

You and Eren are assisting Levi—the tension in the air is almost tangible; it’s hard to breathe inside Levi’s office. Although Eren doesn’t notice anything and works normally, you can’t help but feel suffocated under Levi’s eyes and the overwhelming pressure coming from the Corporal every time you have to interact with Eren right in front of him. You’re not doing anything wrong, but it makes you feel like you are.
At the end of your time with Levi, you feel twice as tired.

Every night you gather the kids in the main hall to teach new procedures, give further instructions, and see if they have general questions about the job.
But according to the weekly schedule, you still have to assist all the higher-ups, so at night you’re usually exhausted. Talking about books really helps, though.

"So, connecting those facts together, Ismene found out that the main character, who is helping her, is actually a criminal. He's a burglar." You tell Eren and Jean while writing on your paper without even looking at it.

They are open-mouthed, holding their papers as they try to follow the train of thought that leads to that conclusion.

"Who's Ismene?" Whispers Hanji, who is checking some of the papers while you and the kids work at the big table in the main hall.

"One of the main characters in the book she's reading." Says Armin, smiling at Hanji. "The other main character saved her in the beginning of the story."

You get up and help Hanji to take the finished piles of paper to her office. Levi arrives with his own piles of paper to put on the table for you to deal with—more brats for him to dump his boring paperwork. Yipee~

"I don't get it, what's the point of the good guy being a bad guy…" Jean thinks aloud, bothered by the plot.

"You see, Jean…" Eren says in a different, confident tone. "In fiction, good people are boring."

It catches Levi's attention. He frowns. It sounded like something you—a cynical brat—would say. Levi shakes his head and leaves.

The collective effort ceases after two months, when the higher-ups (except Hanji) start meeting their deadlines again.

You come to an even harsher realization; paperwork is not a complex, difficult thing. Four brats managed to understand the job faster than you. You didn’t have a teacher when you were transferred, but still!
Do you know what that means? You’re not special at all. Your role is easily replaceable. Anyone can take your place and there will be little to no difference.

Swallowing hard, you can’t help but feel small for having such a pitiful heart.
Being a hypocrite once more, you thank the kids, saying that their help will be needed again when another expedition comes.

The good thing about all of this is that you feel like you've bonded even more with those brats.

The bad thing is that now you can't find that book in the library anymore because of your irresistible advertising. That rotten book is now being borrowed all the time, making it impossible for you to know what happens next.

15. Another kind of paperwork

In contrast to the tension of a few weeks ago—due to Eren's presence in Levi's office—, the time you spend with the Corporal is lighter now that the routine is back to normal.

Levi doesn't need to keep an eye on you or the brat; he has you all to himself. He is more talkative today, which is usually a good sign. You’d even risk saying he is—God forbid Levi read your mind—in a good mood.

Discreetly, you risk a peek at him; the man is working with apparent diligence.

For two weeks Eren was present at every appointment, so you wonder if Levi is upset about not being able to get close to you.
Come to think of it, the last time the Corporal did something was when Eren attacked you—that makes it almost three weeks. Three weeks without even whispering in each other's ear.

You sigh—and maybe too loud, because Levi lifts his head to look at you.
You mentally slap yourself; to keep this angry man in a good mood, you can even endure another three weeks without kissing him. But everything you do acts as a trigger for Levi.
Bracing for whatever comes next, you gulp and look back at him.

“I won’t say it twice.” Levi leans back in his chair.

You blink, confused.

“Come.”

Before you know it, you're already on him, desperately climbing into his lap like if you miss this chance, you'll never have another one.

He places his hand on the back of your head, intending to calmly pull you into a kiss, but you barely adjust in his lap before hastily capturing his mouth.
Levi grunts in protest at the rhythm and how rough you’re being while biting, sucking and kissing his lips. He tries to force his own pace on you, but to your own surprise, you miss him more than you thought you did, subduing the man's will with your hunger.

His hand cups your face. Ah, this is no good. The Corporal first intended to kiss you a little and then get back to work, but at this rate—with your hands continually caressing his hair, face and neck—he is sure things won’t stop at just kissing.

It doesn’t matter how hard he tries to hold your wrists to tell you to slow down; overwhelmed by the woman touching him desperately, Levi can’t help but surrender to the hands and lips he missed so much.
As you deepen the kiss and your hands trail under his jacket to caress his shoulders, he frowns at the twisting feeling in his stomach and is now absolutely certain he won’t be able to stop neither you nor himself it this goes on.

You gasp when you are suddenly pushed away from him, being held in place by the hands on your shoulders. Your half-lidded eyes are fixed on the man panting hard through his mouth, completely out of breath.
How annoying that he keeps interrupting you. Why is he holding back???

Outside, someone laughing passes by the closed office, startling you and bringing you back to reality.
The fear of someone walking into you like that always makes you scared and uncomfortable, but Levi himself doesn't appear to care about it. Still looking apprehensively at the closed door, you wonder if Levi ever considered the possibility.

“If you’re so afraid of getting caught, you should just do your job, then.” Now looking calmer, he taunts you with a low, unamused voice. “Instead of doing inappropriate things to a superior officer in broad daylight.”

Absurdly pissed off, you frown but remain silent.
Levi folds his arms, taking his time watching you for a while, all embarrassed and pouting in his lap.

“I don't mind you working overtime in my office, but Erwin will bitch about it.” He says calmly.

With horror on your face, you check the time and jump off Levi’s lap, running and slamming the door without even saying ‘bye’.

YEAH, you should have gone to Erwin a while ago, but apparently Levi’s lips fuck up with time.

Completely out of breath, you barge into Erwin’s office with a lot of tea in your hands so he can forgive you for your tardiness.

The days go by and you feel even more upset; even if you indirectly told Levi that you chose to be by his side, he appears to still be holding back.
This must have something to do with his pride or the simple fact that he is like that. Or he actually must be holding back something terrible.
Oh, how you want to see it…

You know Levi feels something for you, even if he doesn’t talk about it.
Analyzing his actions, they seem to be possessive feelings, but you’ve recently discovered that his jealousy is as much pleasurable as his roughness.

One thing you realized a long time ago is still your current decision; you want everything he can give to you, even if it’s only rudeness or bitterness. Once you feel that he is yours alone and wants you as much as you do, you can be his until the day you die.

With all this thinking in your head all day at work, you're not even writing anymore.

"I want to touch you…" You whine almost in a whisper.

Levi freezes in his seat, caught off guard.
Not daring to look at you, he resumes writing, feigning a very displeased tone.

"Behave, cadet."

You lay your head on his desk.

"Just a bit. Please." You protest in an intentional soft moan.

The man sighs slowly through his nose and closes his eyes, looking like he is making a great inner effort.
He swallows hard.

"Paperwork."

You sulk.
These possessive feelings that you also have for him often make you feel the need to touch and kiss Levi.
The Corporal, however, finds it troublesome when he notices your greedy and hungry stare, as it makes it more difficult when he is trying to contain himself.

The little noises you do and the ridiculously cute faces you make; these usually are enough to make him lose his control. His own imagination doesn’t help too much either.

Whatever is going on between the two of you, is so secret that any direct mention—even when you’re alone—makes Levi really uncomfortable.
He never makes it clear what’s happening between you, but if men interact with you, you get scolded. And while he claims he is going to kill anyone who tries to approach you, you can’t hug and kiss him freely.

“Focus, cadet.” Levi calls you, bringing you back from your thoughts, annoyed that you just spaced out and abandoned your papers.

You look at him.
Feeling many things at once, still having your own frustrations, doubts and insecurities, makes you feel a little dizzy for a moment.

He leans over the desk and cups your face with his hand, using his thumb to caress your lips.

“What happened?” Levi's bored eyes don’t match his concerned voice. “Your face is pale. Don’t you dare die here in my office.”

You lightly bite his finger. Levi holds his breath.

“I’m fine.” You smile.

He sighs and sits back.

Levi blinks once, noticing something.

"Aren't you always carrying a red book with you?" He frowns while looking at your belongings on his desk.

It surprises you. You didn’t think he’d notice something like that.

"It's the one you couldn't shut up about when working with the brats, isn't it? I've never seen you talking that much before."

It surprises you even more. If anyone else heard what Levi just said, he or she would think the man is just insulting you. But that is his way of showing that he knows something specific about you. And on top of that; he also is trying to make conversation.

"Ah…" You fidget. "Yeah, I used to borrow it all the time, but now there are more people doing the same, so I can't find it in the library anymore."

Levi is resting his chin on his hand, looking calmly at you as you speak. You have the feeling he just wants to hear you talking to him.

"Why do you like it so much?"

"Jerk protagonists." You almost interrupt him, answering his question with such passion that he’s a little shocked. "I love how they lead the plot and manipulate the other characters."

Levi's eyebrows rise in surprise at your enthusiasm and at your weird comment.

"The plot isn't complicated the way I like it, but the complexity within the characters’ morals and personalities really makes up for it."

Suddenly you're quiet, afraid you're talking too much and annoying Levi with things he doesn't care about. However, still in the same position, he doesn't look the least bit annoyed.

"Nice to know you're a twisted brat with weird taste in books." He mocks you.

You giggle.

In fact, he finds it quite interesting to know about a switch inside you that suddenly turns you into a talkative brat.
Thinking to yourself, maybe it's the first time Levi has asked you about your liking for general, unimportant stuff.

"The color in your face is back." Levi leans in to take a closer look. "Good."

Getting up from your chair and leaning over his desk, you stop your face a few inches from his mouth, waiting for him to make the next move.

Levi sighs, frustrated with himself.
He holds you by the back of your head and kisses you.
His soft, warm lips are messing with your head as you kiss in a torturously slow rhythm.

It's hard to keep your balance leaning over the desk like that, so after you break the kiss you try to sit down again, but while sitting, Levi pulls you across his desk and makes you sit on the edge—crumpling some papers on the way.

“Wait—” You try to speak as he gets up to adjust you.

“You started it so shut up.” He whispers against your lips and kisses you again.

Sitting on his desk makes you a little smaller than him.
Leaving your lips, he moves to your neck, deeply smelling the skin before kissing it.

Levi has never kissed your neck before, you shudder with his slow, wet, noisy kisses.
He is making sure every part of your skin is touched by his lips.
Opening the buttons on your shirt, Levi’s kisses go from your chest down to your stomach in a straight line. Feeling your face burning terribly, you squeeze your eyes shut. A shaky hand strokes his hair as he holds your waist and keeps moving down.

As he sits down in the chair and his kisses reach your crotch, your heart stops for a moment.

“S-Sir…!”

“I told you to shut up.” Levi purrs before biting you through your pants as much as he can take in one bite.

You wince at the odd sensation, letting out a little whine that you fail to suppress.
Levi presses a kiss at the spot he just assaulted, looking up to meet your eyes.

Seeing your shivering, flushed figure, with your button-down shirt open and hazy half-lidded eyes looking straight at him, makes Levi grunt in frustration against your pants.

Pressing another series of long kisses into the same spot, his hands leave your waist and begin to unbutton and unzip the irritating fabric in the way.

The door slams open.

“Shorty, Erwin’s calling us to a m—”

You don’t even dare turn your head and face Hanji. Levi is doing this furiously enough for the two of you—though he doesn’t even bother letting go of your open pants.

 “… Uh, boy… Don’t let Moblit hear about this kind of paperwork, hahaha!”

“What. Is. It?”

“Meeting. Erwin. Now.” Hanji mimics him.

Levi sighs and gives you an almost imperceptible glance before standing up and walking over to Hanji, slapping the side of her head.

“Learn to knock, you’re not Erwin.”

Hanji laughs with her hands on her hips.

“Don't you say a word—” Levi threatens in a loud whisper as he closes the door, but Hanji interrupts him.

“My lips are sealed, you pervert.”

And there you are, sitting on Levi’s desk with your shirt and pants open, guilt and embarrassment taking over you.

But then your attention is drawn to something else: the light coming through the window is being reflected by something beside you.

A key ring with three keys.
You look at it for a moment without even realizing what it is. But then you realize these are his keys.

You recognize the one from his office; a small silver one.
The second key is bigger and thicker. You know it's from his room because you have one too; keys to single rooms are like that.

But the third one… It’s also a room key.
This makes no sense.

By putting the big ones together, you compare them; they don’t match.
Different rooms.
Curiosity hits you as hard as Levi hit Eren back then in court.

Levi usually takes one to two hours in those urgent meetings. He just left so you have time.
Adjusting your clothes, you leave his office and head for the higher-ups’ bedrooms wing, heart pounding painfully as you walk.

You go to Levi’s room to see which key opens the door.
Holding the one that didn’t, you resume your walk.

Standing in front of the room that once belonged to Petra, with a shaky hand you insert the key in the door lock and turn it.

Nothing happens.

You sigh; it’s not from Petra’s room. You are so relieved that you want to sit down to calm your heart, but your mission isn't over yet.

Maybe Eren? It kind of makes sense.
He’s not in his cell-like room right now, so you can try it.
However, the key doesn’t even fit in the door lock.
Hm.

Turning the key on another door, you laugh out loud when it doesn’t work. You shake your head; of course, it isn’t to Erwin’s room, what were you even thinking? This is not that kind of story.

Wandering through the empty—though still fearful—boss-nest wing, you painstakingly try every door, but get nowhere with it.
Weird.

Walking all the way back, you can’t think of anyone else.
But then, you stop.

Reaching into your pocket, you pull out your own key. When comparing them, you start to shake again.
With a blank mind, you run in such a hurry that you stumble and almost fall.
But now there you are; facing the simple wooden door of your own room.
You shove the key in the door lock and turn it.

Click.

The door opens when you lightly push it.

The air doesn't seem to be enough to breathe.
Why does he have a spare key to your room?
That's what you ask yourself as you walk back to his bedroom door, feeling your head a little numb. But you also ask yourself why you just walked into Levi's room and locked the door behind you.

Placing the key ring on the nightstand, you throw yourself on his bed.
Smells good. Smells like Levi.

Since when does he have that key? Why the hell would he…? You never caught him sneaking into your room before.

Why is his bed so comfortable and why would a small person like him need a double bed? You barely fit in your single bed. High ranks have so many benefits…

You reach for his pillow and hug it as you usually do with yours. His smell is so much more present that it’s almost intoxicating. Your heart is pounding hard against your chest, your head is so confused and your feelings right now are such a mess, that you curl up in his bed and hug his pillow even more desperately, burying your face in it as much as you can.

You freeze in place when a quick 'click' unlocks the door and Levi strides into the room.

Looking quite displeased, he slams the door behind him and locks it again, never taking his eyes off you.

You sit up immediately, startled, still hugging his pillow.

His hand leaves the key, still in the door lock.
Levi has two keys to his room…?!

No. Wait.
Everyone does.

You now remember something about it. It was never very explicit or you would wonder why you always had only one; you have seen people lose a key and only enter their rooms because they had a spare.

Levi opens his mouth to scold you, but you speak first.

“Why do you have my room key???” You’re not sure if you are scared or pleased or angry or aroused or totally creeped out. Maybe all at once.

It surprises him.

Levi thought you wouldn’t mind the third key on his key ring. He thought the only thing you did was sneak into his room.

He sighs through his nose.

“You saw it.”

You don’t say anything, looking at him tensely.

“Are you angry?” Levi asks and looks away. He doesn’t sound so irritated anymore. In fact, he also looks a little tense now.

“… I don’t know…” You bury your face in his pillow, muffling your voice. “Why do you have it?”

You don’t hear any answer, so you lift your flushed face from the soft pillow.

Standing in the same spot, Levi is looking at you with his arms crossed, expressionless as usual.

“When the room was lent to you, I took one of the keys.” He explains, indifferent.

“Now I know that…!” You whine. Duh, it’s obvious. Is he trying to play dumb? “But why?”

Levi just stares at you, not intending to respond.

“… Have you ever… Entered my room?” You ask in a weak voice, still confused and scared.

He blinks very slowly, not moving an inch.

You look down at the bed, still hugging the pillow and breathing hard as a thousand things go through your mind. But when noticing him approaching, you raise your head.

“Do you think I’m an old pervert who keeps some girl’s room key?” Levi kneels on one knee on his bed, his voice is calm and steady. It sounds scary enough to send shivers down your spine. You flipped some weird switch of his; these are definitely not his usual reactions.

“I… N-No, I mean… Well, you kept my key… But…”

Levi loosens his cravat.

“I don’t know exactly what to… Think…?” You wince when he leans over you, the other leg also climbing on the bed, one hand supporting his weight while the other one finishes removing his white cravat.

You drop to your elbows. Levi tosses the pillow aside and begins to loosen the straps over your chest.

“You can run if you want. The key is in the door.” Levi almost whispers as he calmly works to free you from the straps. “But I do not recommend using your room as a hiding place.” Looking up at you, his eyes glare mischievously as he presses a kiss between your clothed breasts.

You hold your breath. He gets to his knees again, now taking off your boots.

“When do you enter my room?” You breathe, frustrated, covering your eyes with your forearm.

He throws your straps off the bed and, for what you hear, your boots follow suit.

“When you’re not there, obviously.” Levi says in a sultry voice as he lies down on you, pressing you against the mattress and thereby forcing you to stop leaning on your elbows.

“And what would you do there??” Your last word comes out of tune due to the kisses he places between your neck and your jaw.

You close your eyes, enjoying his rare gentle touches. His lips graze your skin as he changes places to kiss.

Levi blindly unbuttons your pants without leaving your neck; he is growing impatient.
He moves lower, pressing a single kiss to your stomach through your shirt before reaching where he left off earlier.

His hands slide from your thighs to the back of your knees, and you can hear his breathing getting louder as he proceeds to touch you.
Even though his expression is serious, it has softened enough for you to notice.

Awfully slowly—too much in your opinion—, Levi slips your pants off.
He repeats the previous caress on your legs, but now lifting one of them and resting it on his shoulder. Giving full attention to that leg, his face moves down your inner thigh, making sure to place wet kisses to it along the way.

It makes your head spin; just where in the world was this Levi hiding? Since when can that grumpy, scary man touch and kiss you so softly? The same Corporal that rudely pulls and pushes you by the collar while yelling at you is now treating you so carefully that you feel ashamed.

You hold your breath when he reaches the soft fabric that separates his lips from your skin.
Again, you lean on your elbows to look at him.

“Sir…! You don’t really need—” Your voice disappears as his tongue slides slowly against the thin cloth, his eyes fixed on yours.

“Keep your mouth shut.” Levi's husky voice orders as his index finger tugs at the waistband of your panties and lets it pop against your skin.

He slides the annoying fabric off you, making you instinctively close your legs in embarrassment.
With a pleased ‘hm’ he unclenches them with a painful grip on your knees.

You gasp for air when he starts kissing the warm skin, not taking long to lick around your sensitive spot, never hitting it directly.
Everything in the world stops making sense. Is it due to unbearable shame? Is it because you believed he’d never do such a thing? Is it because he’s so good at it?
You can’t think straight. If someone asked your name right now, you’d fail the task.

From his movements, you can swear he's using his tongue to write the entire alphabet on you—which makes the urge to buck your hips up almost kill you. Lying on your back and clutching the sheets, you let him continue his very well-done caresses.

Trying not to make too much noise is only making it harder for you to breathe.
Realizing you're getting too much pleasure out of it, Levi stops, not wanting you to come just yet. You grab his jacket and pull him up, kissing him immediately.
Levi looks more aroused and impatient now; he kisses you deeply, barely letting you breathe.
You reach his belt, but his hands grab your wrists.

“Don’t be so greedy.” He says under his breath.

Even being held, you try to open it anyway.
You two fight for it for a few moments. Somehow, it seems to excite him even more.

“If you want it so bad, why don’t you try asking properly?” His voice is now unsteady between shaky breaths. “What do you want?”

Levi probably expects you to say it directly, but you're not going to give him that. Call it shame or pride, you'll piss him off to the end.
You never forget he likes it rough.
And you’re not very normal either.

You turn your face to the side, hiding it from Levi.
Right you are; it stirs irritation in him. Grabbing your collar, he pulls you up only to slam you against the mattress again.

All right, ‘until the very end’ was closer than you thought, but you're definitely not going to say what he ordered you. Panting, you look into his eyes.

“I thought this kind of thing was against the rules.” Your quiet voice comes out almost as a whisper, just loud enough for him to hear.

Oh, you’re more of a jerk than Levi thought. He doesn’t give two fucks about minor rules and after knowing him for so long, you’re obviously aware of it.
Once again, he kneels on the bed, but only to take off his jacket, throwing it away without even looking where. Levi opens his pants just enough to pull himself out of his underwear.
You moan in surprise when he throws his weight over you, squeezing you hard against the mattress.

“Ah, right. It is forbidden.” His voice trembles in your ear as he strokes himself before positioning it at your entrance. “I'll comment on this; watch closely.”

He teases you, rubbing the tip around it, waiting for you to plead. But you won’t.
You threaten to close your legs, so he ruthlessly enters you at a slow, steady pace, not waiting for you to get used to it first.
He shudders along the way, eyes squeezing shut in a pained expression as a grunt catches in his throat.

If you only knew how much he fantasized about this moment… How much he urged for this day to come and at the same time how much he feared it. He knew from the very beginning; once you two crossed the line, Levi would be bound to lose his mind.
There’s no way back now.

It’s already halfway inside when you manage to whine while arching your back.

“Wai—”

Levi stops and kisses you, waiting a few moments before resuming his way in without breaking the kiss.

You moan into his mouth and break the kiss so you can breathe properly through your mouth.
He kisses your ear and pulls it to the tip, then pushing it back not so slowly this time.

Both of your groans match as you wince and tangle your fingers in the sheets.
He starts thrusting at a slow, steady pace, his half-lidded eyes almost maniac as he takes in all your sounds and expressions.

The Corporal swallows hard. Ahh, that’s it… He will definitely go mad; there's no way for him to get out of this sane.
Levi clicks his tongue in annoyance when you look away in shame. He grabs your flushed face and forcefully turns it toward him.

“You look at me.” His voice is hoarse, his eyes are getting hazy as his thrusts increase in speed. “You’re not allowed to look anywhere else.”

You kiss his hand in agreement, but then he removes himself from you.
Before you can complain, he lifts your hips and wraps your legs around his waist, entering you again.

Levi appears to be looking for something; his slow but harsh thrusts are always going in different directions.
Until one of them feels better than the others.

Instinctively, your walls contract tightly around him. He shudders at it as you repress an embarrassing moan.

“Tight…” Levi breathes in.

“Feels nice there…” Your voice trembles, eyes closing in embarrassment.

“I noticed it.” He says, panting as he strokes your thighs, as if he’s rewarding you. “I’ll remember that.”

Aiming his thrusts in the same direction, Levi increases the speed of his movements, making it difficult for you to keep quiet.
The man knows exactly what he is doing. It makes you a bit jealous, so you try not to think about how he got so good at it.
Your hips are trying to buck up to find his thrusts but the position he is holding you doesn’t allow you to move much.

It’s cold outside, but you’re both sweating and panting so hard that the temperature in the room is rising.

“I’ll tell you why I have the key to your room.” Levi is having trouble breathing, so talking feels like an even greater effort.

Trembling, you look shyly at him. It’s way too good, almost unbearable.
His thrusts get rougher.

“Because you are mine.” He growls. “You are mine and I do whatever I want with you.”

You don't take your eyes off his—those possessive words sounded too pleasant for you to fear him. No, actually, you want more of it.
It is probably the closest thing to "I love you" you'll ever hear from him.

You arch your back; it’s getting close. Your toes curl and your legs start to shake even more around his waist.
He pulls your hair, forcing you to throw your head back.

“You’re mine.” Levi grunts as he mercilessly pounds his hips against yours.

The combination of these things is what it takes you to break first.
You come crying out his name before totally forgetting how to breathe.

At it, another jolt of arousal makes Levi’s head spin: hearing his name leave your lips for the first time in a situation like this. The contraction of your walls around him nearly pushes the man to his limit.
You sly bastard.

“Good girl.” Levi breathes.

The rhythm of his thrusts is getting erratic, but stronger and deeper. Very faintly, he whispers your name under his breath as he takes the final thrusts to reach his own peak.
His mouth drops open in a silent scream as his eyes squeeze shut in a frown.
Levi immediately pulls out of you, spilling the hot liquid onto the sheets as he strokes himself until he comes down from his high.

Exhausted, he collapses on top of you, not caring how heavy he is.

Neither of you moves an inch for a few moments, trying to catch your breath—minds still clouded in bliss.

When coming back to reality, you close your legs in shame.
Levi can only slip back into his underwear, not even bothering to zip up. He rolls to the side and takes a long breath.
Now that Levi is closer, you can see his flushed cheeks. You find his exhausted expression terribly cute.

Uncomfortable about being half-naked, you try to cover yourself by pulling your own shirt down.
Noticing the movement, he slowly opens his eyes, just enough to see you.

“I'd like to have my panties back now…” You whisper shyly, averting your eyes.

Levi pulls you to him and embraces you, your head under his chin.

“Just a bit.” He murmurs.

“I want to stay like this, I just need to—”

“My sheets are dirty, I won’t lie here for a long time.” His eyes aren’t even open anymore.

“… ’kay.” You hesitantly hug him back and relax.

Still wrapped up in his embrace, you try to process everything that happened. The minutes pass and his breathing becomes calmer. You wonder if he slept.

“Sir…”

Levi doesn’t answer.

“Just so you know… You are mine too.” You timidly whisper.

He makes an ‘hm’ in approval of your comment, startling you.

“I thought you were sleeping!” You whine, covering your face with your hands.

“I told you the bed is dirty. I can’t sleep in it.”

He lowers his head, looking at you.

“And why would you talk to a sleeping man, you brat?” He mocks you with his bored face.

His bored face… Levi is trying to keep it up, but now he looks much more relaxed and relieved. The harsh words didn’t sound harsh at all; his voice is kind of soothing, even.
You hold his face in one hand and kiss him. Levi welcomes it, tightening his hold and pressing you harder against his chest.

How odd. If you had to guess before, you would say that the Corporal is the kind that kicks a woman out of the bed, turns his back and goes to sleep.
But the cold, indifferent eyes are meek and the aggressive hands are touching you delicately; this brute man is gently surrounding you with affection, even after getting what he wanted from you.

He breaks the kiss and caresses your face with the back of his fingers. His half-lidded eyes locked with yours.
You wait for him to say something because you can't even imagine what to say or do right now. You just want this moment to last as long as possible.

His hand leaves your face and goes under the hem of your shirt. You wince and close your eyes as he runs his hand slowly and gently down your back, stroking it. You hide your face in his shoulder.
The soft, warm skin under his fingers soothes him even more. He could stay there for the rest of the afternoon.

Levi sighs heavily through his nose, making you believe he's struggling to say what he's about to say.

"Get up, brat. Late paperwork."

"Don't wanna…" You whine into his shoulder. "Just a bit longer…"

"Get up, I'll change the sheets."

You hold back your complaints and get up.
Finding your panties on the floor, you pick them up.
Seeing you trying to put them on, Levi scolds you as he folds the dirty sheets.

"Oi, brat, those were on the floor. Besides, straight to the shower."

"I'll have to wear them anyway…" You look at him.

The Corporal calmly opens a drawer and pulls off a pair of panties with his index finger. You recognize that one as one of yours.
Seeing your wide eyes and open-mouthed expression, he closes his hand around the panties and brings them near to his face.

“Interesting expression…” He presses the waistband to his nose and sniffs lightly. “For someone who locked herself in my room, curled up in my bed and sniffed my pillow.”

You shrink your shoulders, trying to somehow disappear.

“Shower.” Levi throws your panties on the bed and strides toward you, grabbing your arm and dragging you to the bathroom. “Try not to smash your head on the floor this time.”

"Sir… Wait…!" With your face completely red, you pull your arm and escape his hand, taking a few steps back. Levi looks at you surprised, but mostly displeased. "I… I'll use the public showers."

You quickly put on the clean panties that are lying on his bed and reach for your pants.

"What are you doing?" Levi asks slowly, in a very dangerous tone.

Seeing you adjust your boots, he steps forward to grab your arm again. You evade it, grab your straps on the floor and stride back until you have the door behind you.

"I… I'm sorry, sir, I… Amh… I’m just not ready to…" When you see him walking towards you, you quickly unlock the door and leave, running from his room with your straps in your hand.

You are walking down the corridors, just having left the girls' public showers. It’s dinner time, so you're heading to the mess hall.
Nanaba leaves her office and immediately sees you.

“We had an appointment today. What happened?”

Damn. You even forgot you had to help Nanaba this afternoon after Levi.

“I’m really, really sorry!” You start, going into despair.

Behind you comes a hand that lands heavily on your shoulder. You freeze in place.

“Ah, that’s my fault! I captured our dear secretary just as she left Levi’s office and she assisted me since, my bad.” Hanji smiles.

“I really don’t mind, Hanji, but let me know next time…” She says and heads to the mess hall.

“Hanji!!” Your teary eyes sparkle in gratitude.

“No probs. What was that in shorty's office, by the way? Hahaha!”

“Shhh, please!!” You squeak.

She laughs as she walks with you to the mess hall.
As you pass Mike along the way, his eyes snap to you, he leans over and sniffs your shoulder.

“Excuse me?!” You yelp.

He doesn't say anything, but looks quite shocked.

You sit alone at a table, but Eren, Mikasa and Armin join you.
You don’t mind, though, they’re nice and good kids.

Hanji is almost screaming while talking to Erwin about the experiments on Eren. Erwin chews his food with a slight expression of disgust; the details must be awful.
Levi looks at you.

Just a few moments ago you ran away from showering with him. You don't know how to explain it to him, but more important than this subject, there’s something else: everything felt weird and wrong, but now it’s weirder and even more wrong for you to be away from him now that he claimed you as his.

You exchange discrete glances from your tables.
He looks angry. You sigh.

Damn, you are so screwed… You love him so much that you just want to go back to his room right now and sleep while hugging him.

Mike sits next to Levi.
The short man tries to ignore Mike’s stare at first, but it’s too insistent and just doesn’t go away.

“What. Is. It?” He asks without looking up from his plate.

Mike doesn’t respond, just keeps staring.
Levi looks at him, his stoic face now getting angry.
Mike calmly raises both eyebrows.

“Amh…” Mike is trying to choose the right words.

“Shut up.” The Corporal quickly says, afraid of what might come out of Mike’s mouth.

Maybe you should have changed your clothes after taking a shower, like Levi did; his scent is all over you.

You regret going back to your room that night; it feels empty.
You toss and turn, unable to sleep, mentally replaying everything that happened. But more than that, you are kind of tense, knowing Levi can walk into your room any time. You wonder if he will do it now that he's angry because you ran away from him.

He doesn't.

Chapter Text

16. Threats are proof of love

During breakfast you are sleepy, but the first thing you do when you enter the mess hall is look for Levi.
Noticing you've arrived, his eyes follow you until you sit down.
As you eat with your back to him, you don't know if the Corporal is looking at you, but you can't help but feel unbearable pressure. Is it all in your head?

You work with Erwin for a few hours, and after leaving his office you head to shorty’s. Feeling your face growing hot, you are eager to see him, but also too scared.

Opening the door, you see him there, sitting and minding his papers.
Ah, damn, this warms your heart. It’s what you want for the rest of your life; Levi there, healthy, bored and working, waiting for you.

You silently walk to his desk and sit on your chair. Yeah… You're tense.
Levi doesn't look at you. The hours pass and none of you say anything, which ends up creating a heavy atmosphere.

You look at your own trembling hand, not knowing when you started to shake like that. Unable to bear the tension any longer, you risk speaking.

"Sir, I—"

"Do you regret it?" Levi asks in his cold, calm, monotone voice while still writing.

"That's not it…!"

His eyes lift from the paper and look at you. You know him pretty well now: he is angry, holding back something bad.

"I just…" You avert your eyes, shrink your shoulders and bite your lower lip. "… Don't want you to see my body…"

You feel your face burning with his stare.

"I'm not like you, sir, I mean… I only deal with papers, sitting all day, every day, so my body is… You know… Inferior…"

Embarrassed, you close your eyes and turn your face to the side.
It might just be your imagination, but you can swear he's breathing louder after that.
You dare a peek, opening your eyes a bit and looking at him.
He looks very interested in your figure. Those cold, glassy eyes burning while fixed on you. He doesn't look so angry anymore, but your instincts keep telling you that you are still in danger.

Levi gets up and you freeze. This is usually bad news.

He walks over to you and before you can say anything, Levi grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls your head back, painfully forcing your shoulders against the chair's backrest.

"I'll let it slide with a warning." He whispers with a menacing tone into your ear. "The next time you say 'no' to me, I’m going to break you completely so you can’t run away again."

You are trembling from head to toe, eyes squeezed shut.

"Understood?"

"… Yes, sir…" You breathe.

Levi releases you and sits back in his chair.

Your body doesn't stop shaking, so you can't write or even hold a pen correctly. Looking at your own lap, you’re afraid to move. Levi ignores it and continues writing, leaving you be until your time with him is up.

Avoiding making eye contact with him, you excuse yourself and head to the door.
Without taking his eyes off the paper, Levi speaks in his monotone voice, startling you.

“You will sleep in my room tonight. It’s an order.”

Your hand shakes on the doorknob. You breathe as quietly as possible before speaking, without turning your head to look at him.

"Yes, sir." You quickly close the door behind you.

As you walk towards Mike's office and try to suppress your trembling, you think of the things Levi told you a long time ago; you ignored everything he said about holding back. Instead, you purposely made him lose control.

Levi tried to contain himself from the beginning. It was obvious to him that once he crossed the line with you, he would no longer be able to let you go anymore. He felt it was something beyond his control, beyond his sanity and common sense. And now he knows it’s true. He was right all along.

But poetry aside, you know that in the end he is just a possessive, obscene, and selfish man.
He warned you to stop, but you wanted him anyway. You are in no position to complain, you have brought this upon yourself.
You love him and you are afraid of him. He threatens you with the same expression with which he gently kisses your skin. And maybe, just maybe, you're getting a little turned on right now.

After Mike, there’s Hanji. The next experiments are out in the open, and as you and Moblit assist Hanji with her torture research, you spot two men watching you from afar. Survey Corps cadets are used to seeing the experiments on the titan shifter, so although you feel something strange about the two soldiers, you decide not to mind them.

You don't forget the order Levi gave you.
At the end of the night, Hanji captures you when you are going to your room to get your clothes. Express kidnapping. If she kills titans as fast as she grabs people from behind and drags them to her office, humanity is saved.

Afraid of the possibility of letting Levi wait for you, you try to finish everything as fast as you can. Even Moblit is surprised by your outstanding performance.
It is late. Hanji pats your shoulder.

"Can you take these to Erwin before you go to your room? He'll be shocked! I managed to finish the papers really early this time!" She says, triumphant.

“You mean SHE finished it, Squad Leader… She just handed you the papers, how can you say that to her face—” Moblit starts but Hanji’s laugh covers his reasoning.

"Okay, but… These were meant to be finished by last week." You blink, tired, but confused.

"Yeah, but he doesn't expect me to turn them in until next month!" She laughs, full of herself.

Walking to Erwin's, you notice the door slightly open and voices coming from his office. Identifying that one of the voices belongs to Levi, you stand still by the door, trying to hear the conversation without being noticed.

"Besides… Don't you think it's getting too out of control?" Erwin asks severely.

"What?!" Levi snarls.

"As you asked me, I gave you her spare key and dismissed her from daily training so you could keep calm. Then I allowed you to change her assistant and catered to many of your other whims. You've been demanding a lot lately. People will start to notice. I already have to deny Mike's questioning and theories…"

"Erwin, I'm dead serious…" Levi threatens.

"I do believe you are. But we're running out of excuses. For a long time now, for some reason, the Garrison has wanted her to come back to deal with their paperwork, but it's too easy to turn them down, it even looks like they aren't really trying. However, now it's the Military Police with the insistent request and with that abnormal speed that always allows their legal procedures to be prepared in advance. They’re claiming they lost many soldiers and civilians in the Female Titan incident."

Your eyes widen. Are there people wanting you to work for them?
You frown. Something isn't clicking right. But your reasoning is interrupted by Levi's voice.

"Are you saying—"

"I'm not saying anything." Erwin calmly looks at Levi, who is about to lose what’s left of his composure. "But it's getting hard to keep her in the Survey Corps."

"So, you're saying you can take care of all the paperwork yourself right now." Levi crosses his arms and looks at Erwin with raised eyebrows.

Erwin smiles lightly.

"I should. But no, I'm afraid that I can't."

"Then there is nothing else to discuss. Can't they get a damn cadet of their own division to do their shitty paperwork?"

"It's what I usually suggest, but the Military Police claims they don't have time or spare soldiers to do it. In this respect, they're much more aggressive than the Garrison. I wonder why they are suddenly aware of her existence."

Levi clicks his tongue in annoyance.

"You won't hand her over, Erwin, or I swear to God I'll—"

"Keep calm, Levi."

Levi is desperate. Your heart gets warm, but at the same time it hurts.
But then it occurs to you; not long ago, while standing in Petra's empty room, Levi was saying some weird things you didn't understand at the time, like he was trying to warn you of something. The other divisions are trying to get you transferred. Is this what he was referring to?
Ugh, Levi was trying to tell you something serious and you were busy trying to make him talk about love. Stupid.

You're stuck with a weird feeling when thinking about what Erwin said. Something is off. How does the Military Police even…?

"My job is to risk my life outside the Walls and watch my subordinates die there, so the gross pigs from Sina can thrive while the people starve to death." Levi is angry and loud. "I'll die for this if you order me to, Erwin, but I will have that girl." He slowly says the last part through gritted teeth.

"We'll think of something again. We've already avoided two of the Garrison's requests, haven't we? I don't believe the Military Police will start a war for a secretary." Erwin laughs through his nose. "But I find it quite interesting, though,"

Levi's eyes lock on Erwin's, waiting for the conclusion of his reasoning.

"… that you would get so obsessed with a simple girl like her." When seeing Levi's expression twisting, Erwin continues calmly. "She's lovely, indeed, but still very simple. I would expect you to direct your eyes to a skilled and competent soldier. That's why I find it amusing."

Levi turns his back to Erwin and starts walking to the door. You quickly knock on the door and open it, pretending you have just arrived and are distracted reading the papers as you walk.

"Excuse me, Commander."

You feign surprise when looking at Levi. They both tense up, but Erwin is better at covering it up.

"What are you doing outside your room? Curfew was a long time ago." Levi snarls, very upset about the conversation he had with Erwin and that you're not in his room, waiting for him.

Erwin and Levi note your deplorable state of fatigue.

You three say in unison "Hanji…".

You enter Levi's dark room, and he quickly locks the door behind him as he pulls you by the waist.

"Sir…" Is what you have time to say before he kisses you.

It is experimental at first, trying to feel your mood. The kiss intensifies after he realizes that you are into it as much as he is.
His hands trail blindly down your back, then move up to grab your hair, interrupting the kiss as he pulls your head back and bites your neck so hard that a gasp escapes your mouth without your consent.

Levi presses you against the wall next to the door. You can't see him due to the darkness in the room, but you feel his breath on your face, his lips almost touching yours. And you can, too, feel his nails scratching your dressed bottom. You wince.

The sound of your pants being slowly unzipped makes you feel your heart in your mouth.

He is angry. He is upset. He is thirsty. He fears your departure. Insecurity struck him. You belong to him and him alone.
Levi didn't say a word, but in this case, it would be the same if he had yelled these things at you; you can feel it all by the way he's handling you.

You hold your breath as his hand slides inside your panties and directly touches your skin. Levi breathes heavily through his nose at the sensation.

His fingers wander until they find your sensitive part, starting to rub over it in circular motions.
You moan with your mouth closed, laying your head on his shoulder.
Levi looks pleased with your sounds.

"Touch me." He orders.

Your hands travel down his torso until you grab the zipper of his pants, pulling it down.
He hisses when you touch him.
Levi seems a lot more into it than last time. You feel like he is barely holding anything back right now.
He is frustrated. Desperate.
You don’t hate him like that.

While caressing you with his busy hand, he bites your lower lip, giving it a long suck.

Moving to your ear, Levi heavily licks its shell before biting it harder than he intended to, thanks to the circular motion your thumb began to make on his tip. He fails to hold back a groan that causes you to shiver.

Levi takes his hands off you, grabs you by the shoulders and throws you onto the bed.

Frightened by the abruptness, you keep your eyes closed, anticipating some aggression. But all you hear is the hasty clicking of his straps being removed and thrown to the floor.

"Undress." His hoarse voice commands.

Your shoulders shake at his order. You just explained that you're embarrassed about it to him that very day.

"But—" You hold your breath as you feel him quickly climbing onto the bed and straddling you.

Levi doesn't say anything as he brutally takes off your jacket.

The moonlight through the window lights half of his bed. You try to hold his hands in vain as he grabs your collar and rips your button shirt open, making the buttons fly all over the place.

Seeing that you won’t stop struggling, he grabs your wrists and holds them to the mattress, one on each side of your head, pressing his body against yours and with it immobilizing you.
You're both out of breath from the struggle you've put against his whims.

"I told you…" Levi says in under his labored breath and he can feel your body tremble under his. "You're mine. I do whatever I want with you."

His husky, breathless voice in your ear makes you whine and turn your face away.
The Corporal can't take how cute you can be. Frustrated with how it affects him, he follows your ear, his lips touching it as he speaks.

"Let me see it." He gives you a long kiss on the ear. "This body of yours."

Your chest moving up and down as you breathe is the only movement in that room for a long time.

"I'm waiting." Levi releases your hands.

You take a deep breath before slowly moving your hands to your straps, then to your boots. He moves away from you so you can take them off.
Even if you are taking too long, you notice he isn't complaining or rushing you.
You can see the dangerous glint in his eyes looking at every detail of your body as far as the moonlight allows him to.

Seeing your apprehensive face as you take off your pants, Levi sighs and starts to slowly take off his own clothes.
It suddenly catches your attention and interest. Oh, now you’re starting to like this.
It is dark, but what you can see makes you feel very inferior. And aroused.

You hear his pants being thrown to the floor before he's suddenly over you again. Your arms go around his shoulders as your mouth is captured in a kiss.

What you feared most finally happens; his hands start trailing all over your body. You move in protest, uselessly trying to escape his touches. Levi’s lips leave your mouth and go to your neck, giving it wet, open-mouthed kisses to distract you from his hands.

You tense up again when he touches your breasts, your hands instinctively gripping his wrists, so Levi sucks as he bites down hard where he placed his last kiss on your neck.

You bite down a moan, not letting go of his wrists, but letting his hands now go wherever they want. Still sucking on your neck, both thumbs press and caress your nipples simultaneously, in a torturously slow circular motion. You shiver. Levi's mouth leaves your neck and takes a long, slow lick of one of your nipples before taking it into his mouth. Without giving you a single second to breathe, he starts sucking gently, slowly, while his other hand blindly caresses your other breast, eventually pressing your nipple between his middle finger and forefinger.

You faintly breathe his name.

Ah, good, you did it again. At it, he suddenly stops for a moment, not moving an inch.

Just when you thought you had done something wrong, he resumes what he was doing, now somewhat more intensely than before. Less gently, stronger sucks. Out of reflex, your hands go to his head, gripping his hair tightly, which earns you a groan of pleasure from Levi.
His lips leave your nipple as he takes one of your hands, pressing a long kiss to the soft part of your wrist.

Levi's abrupt shifts between gentle and rude always mess with your head. You barely feel him pulling away.
The numbness in your mind disappears when you feel your legs being suddenly spread.
Shame strikes you.

"… Sir…! Amh…"

"You're so indecent all the time, what are you complaining about?"

When you open your mouth to argue, Levi thrusts in, stealing a very interesting sound from your open mouth as your eyes roll back and close.

He doesn't stop until it’s fully inside you. Sighing deeply through his nose—unaware that his sigh ends as a soft groan—, he grinds against you, forcing himself even deeper. You shiver at the sensation.

"I'm not indecent…" You breathe.

"Then it's a good thing you can't see yourself right now." Levi says, looking at you, but distracted by his own hands caressing your thighs. "While working you're always so lewd and obscene, how come you get so shy and flustered when it comes to this?" He asks in his bored façade voice, but you can tell he's having fun. "Is it hard to maintain the confident, lascivious attitude when your superior officer is buried deep inside you to the hilt?"

You grumble, covering your face with your forearms.
He knows your body is below average and that you're ashamed of it, yet Levi is forcing you into shameful situations on purpose, the fucker…!

Levi starts thrusting and he isn't being gentle at all. With each thrust, you have to bite your teeth to keep from letting out louder gasps.

You feel his hand around your wrist.

"You do these things on purpose, don't you?" Levi asks between labored breathing and continuous thrusts. "The way you talk, walk, react, behave. It can't be unintentional." He moves your arms away from your face. Despite the darkness in the room, you can see he's looking you in the eye. Fierce glassy eyes, now narrowing due to the maddening sensation that builds with each thrust. "It's to tease me, isn't it?" His husky voice starts to shake. "You don't let me work… Or sleep. It's been hell since you got here, you indecent, cynic br—"

Levi is interrupted when you suddenly buck your hips up angrily to meet his thrusts. He lets out the most incredible, loud and pleasurable moan you've ever heard from him, as he wasn't able to contain it for being caught off guard in mid-sentence.

It feels really good. Both his moan and the thrust. You don't give him time to get angry or to react, immediately supporting your weight on your elbows and thrusting up again.
His thrusts falter but don't stop, now with greater intensity and violence. You can hear him cursing under his breath as he pants, probably because he was caught off guard again, because he let out a loud sound, or because he is too close to his high. Maybe all of them.

Both hands grip the inside of your thighs so hard it hurts, but still mixed in with all the mess you two are making, between desperate, lustful sighs and rough thrusts, this pain is also incredible.
You reach your limit, throwing your head back and letting out low cries as your body twitches and your insides squeeze Levi so hard, you're able to hear from him a long and loud grunt trapped in his throat.

"Indecent." He huskily whispers into your ear, voice shaking with arousal and due to the intense movements of his hips against yours. "Every single inch of you."

His hands leave your thighs to grab your hair by the roots with such passion that it drives your still-in-bliss mind even dizzier.
Levi smashes your lips together in a violent, suffocating kiss as he takes one last erratic, rough thrust to reach his limit.

Breathless, brows furrowed and eyes closed, Levi groans angrily into your mouth and breaks the kiss abruptly pulling away, soon enough not to spill his load inside you, staining one of your aching red thighs instead.

You don't remember falling asleep, so you get scared when suddenly waking up.
You hadn't dreamed of anything and it barely felt like more than five minutes of sleep, but it is already morning. And although you're covered by a sheet, underneath you are naked with your sleeping—and equally naked—superior officer at your side, his arm across your chest.

Startled, you immediately sit up, eyes incredibly wide in shock. The sheet slips away from you.

Your sudden movements wake him up and you quickly pull the sheet to cover yourself again.
Not moving, a sleepy Levi stares at you for a while with his eyes barely open.

"I thought you were dead." His voice is hoarse from sleep. Against his will, his eyes close again. "Brat can't last a night without dying."

"… I… I was tired! I worked with Hanji for hours…!"

But he is no longer listening.
You gently stroke his cheek with the back of your fingers.

Escaping again from shower with Levi since he is knocked out, you shower in the girls' shared bathroom and head to Erwin's office.

You expect Erwin to bring up the matter of the Garrison and the Military Police, but he doesn't.

17. This is for you, but it's not like I like you or anything

You stretch, then give a long yawn before entering Hanji's office, taking care not to step on the trash littered on the floor; papers, files, food, tools and an unconscious Moblit.

Despite your tiredness from a bad sleep, you're determined not to waste the entire afternoon stuck in Hanji's office.

Today is Levi's day off. He'll probably sleep all day in his room after last night. So, you decide to pay him a visit during each of your breaks.
The conversation you overheard between Erwin and Levi last night is still stuck in your head. You want to know more about it, but it’s not like you can ask any of them directly.

Hanji isn't at her office, but she will probably be back soon as she basically lives there.
You look at her desk; what a nightmare.
Not knowing where to start at her desk, you decide to clean the floor first.
While gathering the papers, you wonder if Erwin, strict as he is, has ever complained about the tea-smeared documents she turns in.

In a cold sweat, you gulp loudly when finding an important report on the secret experiments on Eren. All right, again with illegal stuff. It is such sensitive information that shouldn’t be on the floor like that…!

Then it occurs to you: you currently have contact with a great amount of secret information on your paperwork routine. Initially, the higher-ups never let you deal with confidential papers before, but either due to comfort or trust or deadlines issues, they gradually started letting you handle them.

All of your bosses.
Your Commander included.

In fact, there are only a few documents you know Erwin doesn't even take out of his drawer when you're working with him, so confidential they are, but you are aware that many of the things he allows you to read, you shouldn't.

You scream in shock when finding a sleeping Hanji under a pile of papers and clothes beside her desk.

You knock on Levi's room but he doesn't respond. You wonder if he is still sleeping. Or angry.
Standing in front of your superior officer's private room is kind of suspicious, so you stroll around the HQ instead. You find Mike on a break and take a walk together, enjoying the warm weather.

It's getting dark. You leave Mike's office feeling very exhausted, rubbing your own stiff shoulders. As you walk down the main hall towards the mess hall, you see Levi arriving at the HQ. He is not wearing his uniform.

Oh, even Levi needs to leave the HQ every now and then, huh. He looks very tired. Not noticing you, he walks straight to his room.
You want to sleep with him tonight, but another night like the previous one could cause another fatigued day.
Maybe it's better to let you two get some rest.

When lying down, you suddenly remember the two soldiers from the other day, watching Hanji performing her terrifying experiments. You realize what seemed off about those guys: their jackets had a rose emblem on them—which is so natural to you that you barely noticed.

You’re worried, but fall asleep before you can think any further.

In the morning, after assisting Erwin, you skip your break and go straight to Levi's office.

Trying to bring up the subject of him going out, you start the conversation by apologizing for knocking on his door during all of your breaks. You explain that you didn't know he left the HQ that day.

Levi doesn't say anything, but he looks slightly interested in the idea of your visits.

You lower your head and silently sulk at your failed plan to subtly get him to tell you where he went the day before.

You hear Levi opening his desk drawer. The rustling sound catches your attention and you lift your head to look at him.

"Here." Looking at you with his usual half-lidded eyes, he hands you a thin package of brown paper, tied with thin strings.

You look at it, confused.

Hesitantly receiving the package, you are not sure if he is merely showing it or giving it to you.

Levi throws his weight on his chair's backrest. Crossing his arms, he sighs and looks at you with a serious but softened expression.

"You had to like something impossible to find, didn't you?"

Your eyes widen. You immediately start opening the package as quickly as possible.

"It's ridiculously old, there aren't any recent copies. Every single one of the remaining ones are rotten, buried deep in forgotten bookstores shelves." Levi painfully tilts his head to the side, indicating a stiff, tired neck. "Stupid book." He grumbles out of the corner of his mouth when you finally unpack your own copy of your beloved polemic book. Your mouth drops open in utter amazement. "Stupid girl." He grumbles again in the same tone. Even he can't hold back his soft expression, mesmerized by your shaken, wide, watery eyes looking directly at him.

Levi is right, the book isn't new. It probably belonged to someone else at some point, but it is infinitely better preserved than the HQ library copy. The edges aren't torn, the pages aren't so smudged, the cover is a much brighter red, and the etched gold details are almost entirely there.
You hold the book dearly to your chest.

Levi lets out an ‘hm’ in appreciation, satisfied with your reaction and with himself for succeeding in his quest.
His eyes, locked on your facial features, become dangerous and hold a hungry glare, his soft expression turns into a mischievous one—unhealthy, immoral thoughts driving all these changes.
Witnessing the rapid transition makes you shiver, but you ignore it all.

"Sir, I…" You get up, intending to thank him.

He snaps back to reality—this is not the place for the things going through his head right now.

"You sit right there." Levi points at you as he loosens his cravat, trying to regain his breath and composure. You slowly sit down, looking surprised at him with raised eyebrows. "If you want to thank me, you can finish all these damn papers."

You lean over his desk and stroke the back of his writing hand, which is still holding a pen. Levi winces.

"Thank you." You say with a sweet smile on your lips.

He takes a slow, shaky breath through parted lips, his eyes lost in your hand caressing his.

"Girl, don't test me…" Levi warns in a whisper.

You silently look at him, your fingertips still softly touching his hand.

"I'll make you scream your dignity out of your lungs…" He threatens slowly through clenched teeth and evades your hand, adjusting himself in his chair due to the discomfort inside his pants.

You don't know what he thinks about so much that makes him like this.
He claims that you're indecent in his office and that you get all shy when he finally gets to do what he wants with you, but he's no different; all business while working, depraved pervert when he snaps.
And you like to push his buttons until he snaps.

Looking him in the eye, your hand follows his and grabs his forearm, making him drop the pen. Before he has time to react, your nails scratch the soft inside of his wrist to his fingertips.

Levi slams his fist on the desk, already getting to his feet. By reflex, you stand up in a jump.
You're definitely going to die.

There's a quick knock at the door and Erwin enters right after, papers in hand.
You and Levi tense up.

"Levi, I—" Erwin finds the two of you standing; Levi furious and livid and you looking scared. Erwin blinks. "Is everything ok? I just heard a loud sound."

"Big spider." You look at Erwin with enormously wide eyes.

Erwin goes to Levi's desk and looks at him.

"How long until your time with her is over?"

"Less than an hour." Levi says, looking calmer now.

"Then I'll ask you to consider yourself dismissed for today." Erwin says to you. "I need to speak to Corporal Levi."

You look at Levi, who calmly takes the paper Erwin hands him and looks at it. You know it's usually more boring work when Levi grimaces and complains about it to Erwin's face, but right now he doesn’t.
Levi looks at you. He doesn’t look about to snap anymore. In fact, now he looks kind of down.

"This one is important and confidential." He tells you in a casual and soft tone. And you understand the gesture as an almost apologetic explanation for asking you to leave. "Dismissed."

You don't know if it’s about the matter that concerns you that made him mad the other day. So, you salute them and get your things, holding with extra care and love your new book and leave. Levi's eyes follow you until the door is closed.

You still have some time before lunch.

"Armin!!" You call him from behind, startling the boy to the point that he drops his plate before sitting down.

"Y-Yes?" He looks at you.

Mikasa and Eren look at you as you sit beside him and open your book, pointing out a specific sentence.

"The ocean." You say, wide eyes.

"What??" He leans over to look at your book.

"They're crossing the ocean to get to her country."

"So…? It's fiction, isn't it?" Eren asks with his mouth full of bread. He's been paying close attention because he can't borrow the book anymore either. "I mean… They can do anything, right?"

"This thing is old." You say. "It was written over 120 years ago, long before the Walls…!"

“So, wouldn’t that make this book, you know…” Eren approaches you and Armin and whispers, looking concerned. “Forbidden?”

You don't even eat, spending the lunchtime talking to Armin about the concept of other lands beyond the ocean.

❖

When leaving the mess hall after dinner, you run into Levi.

“Sir…!” You rub your nose.

He crosses his arms, looking displeased.

“Why aren’t you eating?”

“Hm?”

“In the last few days, you've barely touched your food. If you keep this up, you'll start passing out around the building in no time.”

“I’m no—” Your collar is grabbed and he brings your face to his.

“What are you fasting for?”

Surprised, you blink and your cheeks turn red, giving you away. He frowns, now even angrier. Before you can say anything, Levi drags you as he walks, still holding you by the collar.

He barges into the kitchen, scaring the soldiers who are cleaning up after dinner.

“Don’t mind me,” He tells them, grabbing a loaf of bread and holding it much like a knife. “I’m just keeping a dumbass cadet alive.”

They flinch and gasp in horror, wrapping up what they have to do and leaving as quickly as possible—it looks like a murder; a squirming girl having her screams muffled by the man forcefully and aggressively stuffing food into her mouth.

Dragging your limp body heavily as he walks through the empty corridors, the Corporal looks at you.

“Now you know what will happen every time you skip your meals.”

“… I just wanted to get in better shape…” You mumble, having eaten far more than you can handle. “Wait, this isn’t my room.”

Levi throws you into his room and locks the door behind him, intending to make sure to touch every inch of the body you’re so ashamed of.

18. A florist girl in pants

As you feared, disgrace finally falls upon you, you unfortunate secretary…!
You have read all the books in the fiction section of the HQ. God damnit, nooo! Clenching your fist, you hold back a tiny tear.

What now?

What now?! You barely use your money, you’re going to fritter away your accumulated salary on books! Today is your day off anyway.

Almost singing, you skip around town in search of a bookstore.

Books are much more expensive than you thought, but like an out-of-control maniac, you end up taking a lot more than you need and a lot more than you can carry.

No, but seriously, the covers are ridiculously beautiful. Look, the cute pink one is the last of its kind, how can you ever leave it behind?
You stop by the HQ only to throw your books on your desk and go back to town. Screw it! Money is nothing when you’re dead!

As the sun is setting and you are going to the cashier again with another absurd batch of books, you remember something.
Hm… Maybe… Maybe you should save some money. Just a little.

You return half of the books you chose.

“The hell is that in your room?” Not looking at you, Levi asks when you sit on the chair in front of him.

“Hm? Ah, you entered there again.” You chuckle. “Sorry I wasn’t there, I was on a shopping spree yesterday.”

“Why the sudden urge to buy shit? The nightstand, the desk and the chair are littered with piles of books. How can you work there now?”

“The book you gave me was feeling lonely, poor thingy.”

Levi frowns at your nonsense.

“Well, on my days off I never have anything to do but read, anyway.” You shrug.

“If you stayed in your room during my breaks, you would have.” He cocks an eyebrow at you and then lowers his eyes to the paper he is working on.

You smile at his comeback full of innuendos. More than being upset about not doing nasty things in broad daylight, Levi really hates it when you leave the building, doesn’t he?
Remembering a certain something, you fidget a little, mustering some courage.

“Sir…” You ask in a shy way. “What do you do on your days off?”

Levi thinks for a while, not taking his eyes off the paper.

“I usually organize things I can’t do during the week.”

"But is your day off…! I mean, it's your free time—"

"High ranks don't really have 'free time', brat. If we are not working on a thing, it's probably because we are working on another." He drags his voice. "Except shitty-glasses. She doesn't care at all."

"B… But Hanji works all the time…?" You tilt your head in confusion.

"Only on what she wants, not on what she has to." Levi clicks his tongue in annoyance when turning the page of his documents and seeing one he hates to deal with. God, how he’d rather slash titans’ napes instead.

"Don't you ever go for a walk? I mean… Out of the headquarters. Around the city."

Still writing, Levi frowns, trying to understand what you want.

"Only when I have to. To buy things I need or to take a break from Erwin's face."

"Right…" You are fidgeting, unsure of what to do with your hands or where to look. "Amh… Sir?"

"What?" He starts to get annoyed at the incessant interruption.

"When is your next day off?"

"In three days."

You sigh, disappointed.

He stops writing and looks at you, waiting for context. Your red face gets his attention immediately. You interlace your own fingers while averting your eyes and bite your lower lip for a moment before speaking.

"I… I wanted to… Spend my day off with you…" Your mouth is dry and your face feels hot. You are looking at everything, except him. "Maybe… Take a walk, you know… Around the city. Not work-related things."

You risk peeking at him. His eyes are still half-lidded as usual, but they carry an expression of surprise along with his raised eyebrows.

"But no matter how they rearrange the schedule, our days off never match…" You sulk, laying your head on his desk.

At this moment, you two appear to have come to the same conclusion, for Levi's eyes dart to a random spot in the room and you lift your head to look at him. He frowns and his lips silently mimic "Erwin".

Of course. The Commander must suspect your involvement with Levi. No, wait. When they were talking about you, it seemed like he was fully aware, as he said something about giving Levi your key.
Erwin will never give you two a chance to do something as stupid as spend your free time together only to be found out. The mismatch of days off is more than intentional; it's meticulously calculated.

You groan in frustration, burying your face in your hands. Levi looks at you with a slightly frowned expression, not saying a word.

"The Commander really has control over everything here… He must keep an eye on the cadets even on their days off…" You complain, still hiding your face.

Levi blinks once.

"It'd be easier to sneak out during work." He scoffs with a long sigh, immediately regretting it when seeing you lift your head with stars in your eyes. "No." He asserts.

"But siiir~" You start and his hand flies to press your cheeks together, forcing you to stop talking. You slur all your following words as you insist on speaking. "For two hours only…"

"Shut it."

"Please…" You release your face from his grip and give the palm of his hand a long kiss. Looking at him, you give your superior officer bright puppy eyes. "Please… Levi."

His eyes widen.

"… Sir." You complete in a normal tone before he gets mad at you.

Outside the walls of the headquarters, among the trees, you adjust your belt. Levi suddenly appears with an angry face, making you jump in surprise.

"Will you take the whole two hours to get dressed?"

"I… I was just getting ready, you almost caught me without pants…!" You whine, following him in rushed steps as he walks away.

"Whatever." He says, but something in his scowling face says he's not angry at all. "Where did you put your uniform?" He walks without looking at you.

"Amid the branches of that tree."

"Hm."

You two changed your clothes so as not to draw attention while walking around the city.
You had seen him in those clothes before. If you remember correctly, he was wearing that same white shirt, those black pants, and that black coat over his shoulders when he returned from that last expedition—the one that resulted in the girl from the Military Police turning into a titan and destroying part of Sina while fighting Eren.

You, however, are way too simple, wearing a long-sleeved white shirt and black pants, a shade lighter than his.

He stops suddenly and points his finger at you, almost touching your nose.

"In two hours exactly, and not even a second later, we'll be back and you’re going to do my paperwork until you drop, understand?"

"Yes, sir." You say softly, giving him an honest, satisfied smile.

As you walk silently through the streets with Levi, you notice his constant gaze, fixed on your pants.

"Sir?"

He looks at you.

"Is there something wrong?" You look at your pants.

Judging by how surprised he is, Levi probably wasn’t aware that he was staring too much.

"I was prepared to argue with you over a skirt or open buttons." He averts his eyes. "Looks like I'll be spared this time."

You smile.
Of course, you’re not stupid! Knowing well this ferocious tiny beast walking beside you, no way in hell you’d wear something worth of a scold.
Even serious girls like Mikasa wear a long skirt on their days off, but in addition to wanting to please Levi, you're very used to wearing pants at home anyway, as your brothers drag you to help them out in the fields.

Praying that he does not notice, you try to walk closer to him.

"What do you want to do?" Levi asks while looking to the other side, hands tucked in pockets, showing annoyance.

"Office supplies." You catch him by the arm and drag him into a store, ignoring his worry about being seen and his attempts to free his arm from yours.

Levi does, however, look interested in the fountain pens you're looking at.

He spends a long time by your side looking at them, and even if he doesn't say a word, you can tell he likes that sort of thing.

You crouch down to look at the bottom shelf.
Distracted by a pen he appears to particularly like, Levi leans forward, leaning his weight on your shoulder as he holds it.
You freeze in place, looking at his hand from the corner of your eyes, trying not to move an inch so he won't move away—is he a bird or what?
Instead of looking at pens, you keep quiet, looking at a random point, enjoying his touch and how close he is.

From the window, something catches his eye.
He stands up quickly, looking worried. When noticing him like that, you also stand up.

“Is something the matter?”

"Stay here." He whispers, leaving the store.

You find it both convenient and inconvenient. You buy what you have to and wait a minute or two before checking the street and walking over to Levi, who is alone and looking tense.

"Sir?" You cautiously call him, approaching slowly.

"If I tell you to go, you'll walk down this street without looking back, as if you are here by yourself." He says in a very low tone, almost in a whisper. "On your left you'll find a tea shop. Wait for me there."

"Understood."

He looks tense, constantly scanning the area around him.

"What happened?" You whisper.

"Mind your business. Your two hours are running out." He says, still checking for something.

"Sir, are you mad at me?" You look at him, worried that you may have caused him more trouble than you intended to.

"I'm always mad at you, brat." Levi looks at you with his blank expression, which immediately breaks when seeing your sad face. He looks away. "… I'm not."

The two of you walk together at a greater distance from each other.

When passing by a flower shop, the diversity of colors catches your eye. You stop by and hear Levi whispering ‘go’.

Pretending that you've finished looking at what you wanted, you leave without looking at him.

On your way to the instructed route, you pass Nile Dok and his men, who are heading towards Levi. In that brief moment, you quickly look at the bolo tie resting on Nile's chest and that’s all you need to understand what is going on and why it’s so serious. Nile glances at you. You look away and keep walking, wondering if he noticed you walking with Levi.
It worries you.

"Oh, Nile, spare me." Levi contorts his face.

"Of what?" Nile asks when he gets to Levi, though he keeps a comfortable (safe) distance from him.

"Of you."

Nile scowls.

"I found it unusual for your kind to walk around this part of the city." Levi softly shakes his head, moving his hair from his eyes. "But then I saw you're escorting a pig. One of the big old ones." He glares daggers at Nile. "It seems like the Military Police are still covering underworld affairs. Well then, go watch the door he just entered."

"None of your business, Levi. Watch your tongue." Nile's expression darkens, but a sort of a smile emerges right away. "But what is Erwin's right-hand man doing here?" He mocks as he finds it suspicious.

"Do you see a uniform?" Levi has to make a great effort not to roll his eyes at Nile. "I'm trying to have a day off." He pulls the coat to better cover his shoulder.

"That would explain the woman."

"What woman?" Levi snarls.

"The one that just left. I saw you walking side by side for a while. It got my attention; a woman wearing pants, how unusual. What, is she in the military too?"

"Are you drunk on duty, you idiot?" Levi slowly tilts his head in a menacing way. Nile's men are bothered by Levi's behavior.

"Excuse me." You say in an irritated tone.

Both Nile and Levi look at you, surprised. For a moment, you can see fear in Levi's face.

You are carrying a large wooden box filled with flower pots of all sizes.

"This is heavy and you're in the way." You grunt, looking like you're actually struggling to carry the box.

Without saying a thing, Nile and Levi—still looking at you with wide eyes—take about two steps back. You pass with the wooden box between them, followed by a small chubby lady around her fifties, also carrying a wooden box herself. You and the small lady enter the flower shop behind them.

Nile is perplexed, confused. He shakes his head.

"A woman in pants." Levi repeats slowly, then looks at Nile. "Apart from pairing me up with the florist girl, did you really have a purpose in ruining my day off, or are you just, as usual, tainting the world with your existence?" Levi asks venomously in a low voice, menacing as ever.

Nile sighs and hands Levi an envelope.

"Take this to Erwin."

"Do it yourself."

"It's about our request to the Survey Corps."

Levi's expression suddenly gets darker and heavier.
The Corporal aggressively snatches the envelope from Nile's hand, turning and walking away without looking back.

"Erwin's folk… Ugh…" Nile takes one last look at Levi's back before heading back to his post.

Inside the flower shop, when you place one last large vase on the floor, the chubby old lady thanks you for willingly helping her. You smile.

"My pleasure, ma'am."

Waiting about ten minutes to go to the meeting point Levi has determined, you notice the weather is getting colder. The afternoon is drawing to a close.

You enter the tea shop, spotting Levi's back. The man is concentrated, choosing his tea.

"I'm sorry about all of this, sir… I guess it's time we went back now…" You almost whisper in a sad but resigned tone as you approach him and stand beside him.

"It is." Levi doesn’t look at you, putting aside the boxes of tea he isn't interested in.

But you notice something odd in his tone. It’s neither harsh nor angry. You look at him.
He is upset about something. You’ve caused him a lot of trouble but by some miracle it doesn't exactly seem to be your fault. He would make it very clear to you if that was the case.
Levi looks—if you're not delirious—somewhat… Sad…?

You quietly wait for him to choose what he wants. Yet he stops, arm dropping to his side. He stares at a random point. Silent. Thoughtful.

"Come. We're heading back." Levi mutters as he turns and walks away.

"Aren’t you going to buy—?" You hesitate, not moving.

Seeing that he ignored you and actually left the shop, you apprehensively follow him.
Going outside and catching up with his rushed steps, you shiver and rub your arms.

"Wow, cold."

"I didn't do anything."

"No, sir. The weather." You giggle.

He looks at you out of the corner of his eyes.
Still walking in a hurry, you feel his coat covering your shoulders.

"Sir…!"

"Quiet." Levi clicks his tongue and mentally scolds himself for his tone. He tries to rephrase that. "Erwin will be suspicious if you get sick just working an afternoon in my office."

"… 'Kay." You shyly smile, holding the coat. "Thank you."

Among the trees near the walls of the headquarters, you change back into your uniform, meeting Levi when he also finishes changing his clothes.

"Thank you, sir. It was really fun." You say sweetly.

Levi lets out a distracted ‘hm’ while he adjusts his straps.
You suddenly laugh. Levi looks at you, frowning at the lack of context.

"The Military Police Commander's face…" You avert your eyes as you rub the side of your index finger under your nose, scratching it; an unconscious timid gesture. "It was great to make that idiot's mouth drop open."

"Let's hope you have the same luck with the Survey Corps' Commander, then." Levi says in his usual uninterested tone.

As he turns around, you hold him by the wrist. He looks at you, surprised and displeased for being held like that.
You release his wrist and hand him a very thin, rectangular brown package. It almost fits in the hand.

"It's for you, sir…" You delicately tuck your hair behind your ear, averting your eyes and feeling your cheeks growing hot. "I hope you like it… Thank you for today, really."

Surprised, Levi hesitates for a moment, then opens his hand and receives your gift. He doesn't say anything, turning immediately and putting it in the inside pocket of his jacket; where the envelope is.
He walks away without looking at you.

Entering the headquarters, you see Hanji dragging a tired, but struggling Eren across the field.

"H… Hanji, it's enough, isn't it? I'm really tired for today…" Eren yelps.

"Hey, shitty-glasses." Levi calls as he walks over to them. You follow him.

"Oh, Levi! … And you, too!!" Hanji smiles, paying full attention to you, but not letting go of Eren's arm. "I've been looking for you guys all day!!"

"And who did you tell about it?" Levi asks directly.

"Huh?" She tilts her head in confusion. "Nobody at all? I really was in a hurry to experiment with Eren today."

"Did Erwin bastard look for me?"

"I don't know." She answers slowly, still confused. "I didn't see him today. Eren and I haven't even had lunch yet. We are very busy, you see hahaha!"

'Poor Eren…' You think, then notice something alarming.

Suddenly, you grab Eren's free arm and pull it to your side, causing Hanji to instinctively pull him to hers before she can understand what's happening.

Everyone is confused and perplexed, but the quick, meaningful glance you give Levi is more than enough to make him understand.

"What?" Eren asks, surprised.

"What's going on?" Hanji asks, friendly, but still not releasing Eren's arm.

"Hanji, I think Eren had enough for today! He needs to rest!" There is a clear tone of worry in your loud voice.

Hanji and Eren look confused at you,

"Look, enough of this shit." Levi gestures angrily at them. "I have a desk full of damn paperwork. You made me waste the whole fucking day with this nonsense."

Hanji and Eren look confused at Levi.

"Levi, where have you been? I couldn't find you all day." Erwin's voice comes from behind you all.

Levi turns to Erwin, looking really displeased.

"Ask shitty-glasses." He snarls. "She dragged me into this."

"Haha, yeah, our fellow secretary helped but it wasn't enough and—Oh, Erwin!" The reflection in Hanji glasses doesn’t show her eyes. "This is very important, I might need your help as well!"

Eren looks confused at Hanji.

"Amh…" Erwin blinks once and discreetly—maybe unconsciously—steps back. "After a whole day doing experiments, Eren must be really tired, don't you think, Hanji?"

"I am!" Eren vigorously shakes his head.

With his arms crossed, Levi lets out an exasperated sigh through his nose and turns his ankles to walk away.

"Wait, Levi." Erwin calls him. "I have to talk to you."

"Not before I have a break and a cup of tea, Erwin." Levi looks at Erwin before resuming his escape. "I have had enough of all this."

"Erwin!" Hanji calls him. "It's really important, we're analyzing fluids!" She ignores the noticeable shudder in Erwin's shoulders. "You see, we started with—"

"I'd rather read it in your report, actually. Complete and fully described. I'm counting on you to keep up your good work, Hanji." Erwin says and leaves, going after Levi and being almost grateful for Hanji's paperwork pace, so he won't have that report in hand for at least four months.

You slowly release Eren's arms. He looks confused at you, but you avert your eyes, embarrassed and guilty for the show. Eren then looks at Hanji, who is still looking at Levi and Erwin's back as they slowly enter the building.

"I'm sorry for all this, guys." You say, not looking at them, afraid that Hanji might have gotten mad at you. "And thank you."

"I might overlook it if you finish my paperwork tonight." Hanji looks at you, serious, her eyes still not visible due to the reflection. "But I can totally forget what you're talking about if someone keeps Eren quiet tomorrow while I test something on him."

"H… Hold me quiet?!" Eren's voice trembles. "Why…?"

It sounds terrible to both you and Eren. The two of you gulp.

"You can count on me." You say, tense but determined. Eren's eyes dart at you, scared.

Hanji's hand lands heavily on your shoulder.

"See you tonight, then." Hanji opens a great smile. "And tomorrow morning, too."

"S… Sure."

As you turn to leave, your lips mimic ‘I'm sorry’ to the scared teenager who looks shocked at you.

"I'm pleasantly surprised that you're helping Hanji with the experiments for once." Erwin says in a soft smile, almost a mocking one.

"You know that I was forced to do it." Levi mutters.

"Was it because the girl was there?" The Commander's expression becomes serious and attentive. "Are you sure you still have control over it, Levi?"

Levi doesn't answer.
His hand reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket, where the envelope and your gift are.

"Nile's rats came here today to give you this." The Corporal hands Erwin the envelope between his middle and index fingers.

"The date of the court hearing." Erwin concludes as he takes the envelope, turning it over to read the sender on the back. "There is so much to do and yet we have to stop everything to deal with this." He sighs. "Looks like they will, after all, start a war for a secretary."

In the morning, you go to Hanji's second office, where the creepy things usually happen.
When you get there, Eren is already struggling against his fate and Moblit is trying to calm him down.
Hanji is preparing a syringe with a fairly thick needle.

"W… Why's that, Hanji?" Your voice shakes.

"To draw blood." She says seriously, her glasses reflecting the light and preventing you from seeing her eyes.

"Oh." It's bad, but you thought it would be worse. "What do I need to do?"

"Hold him still for me, will you? Every time I try to draw his blood, he struggles and hurts Moblit."

"I'm sorry." Eren says, but still evades Moblit's hands. "I just don't like needles." He shivers when seeing you approaching him. "P-please… don't…"

You believe Eren is at his cutest when he is whining pathetically like a child. It stirs the cruelty within you. While still feeling bad for him, you also feel like you might crack a twisted smile at any moment.

Moblit takes advantage of Eren being distracted and pushes him down to sit on a stool. Hanji gives him a thumbs up. Moblit, with a blank expression, does the same in response and sits to rest a little.

"Sorry, Eren." You say softly with an apologetic smile. "I'll understand if you hurt me. I won't be angry." You sit on another stool and hold him from behind, locking his arms on his torso. "You can be mad at me if you want, too."

You see that his cheeks are turning red, but when Hanji approaches him with the syringe in hand, the color disappears from his face.

"Now be good, Eren." Hanji has a weird smile on her lips, making even you tense and scared. "It'll be quick."

Eren squirms, trying to escape before the needle touches his arm.

"You shouldn't struggle like that. You are going to hurt her, Eren." She says in a soft voice, trying to convince him to stop fighting.

Eren stops, shuts his eyes and bites his lower lip.
Hanji grabs his arm and inserts the needle into it. Eren whimpers, slipping a little on the stool, making you hold him almost by the neck.

"It's almost over." Hanji reassures him. "Keep your eyes closed."

Eren is shaking and whimpering uncontrollably. You hold him tighter to calm him down, not realizing you're pressing your breasts against the back of his head. Eren's eyes suddenly pop open, his body now completely still.

"No, no." Hanji alerts him. "Keep your eyes c—"

"I'm fine." He assures her firmly, his wide eyes without blinking once. Oh, what a religious experience he is going through…

After it ends, you are thankful that Hanji only had "normal" experiments in stock. But when you and Eren are leaving, she hands him a small empty glass.

"I need you to fill it by tomorrow." She explains.

"With what?" He asks, turning the glass to look at it.

"Semen."

"What." You, Eren and Moblit ask in unison.

"If you have any problem, she can help you." Hanji says calmly, pointing at you.

"I'll do it!" Eren waves a hand to Hanji, signaling her to stop. "Please, don't involve her in anything else!"

In the afternoon break, you go to the library. It’s just a habit now that you’ve read everything.
Alone in the fiction section, you look for a book to reread—it feels different when the book doesn’t belong to you.

"So, this is your hiding place." Levi's low, sultry voice startles you. "There are times when no one knows where you are."

"Sir…!" You put the book in your hand back on the shelf. "Do you need my help now?" You ask it because he has no appointments with you today.

"I'm on a break." He says, moving closer to you. "How were the experiments on the brat today?"

"Oh, they were… Awkward. But Hanji saved us yesterday so it's only fair."

Levi looks at the books lined up on the shelf beside him, distracted by them.

"The brat told me you read to him."

You can't exactly read his tone, but you get the feeling this is yet another thing Levi disapproves of.

"Does it bother you, sir?" You ask cautiously.

He looks at you, serious, not intending to answer.

"I won't do it anymore." You look at him, apprehensive. "I only did it to encourage him to read."

The two of you stare at each other for a long moment.
You discreetly sigh in relief when he turns to look at some book on the shelf.

Stepping back to look at the books on higher shelves, you try to read the titles.
Levi approaches you.

"I might forgive you if you read to me." He says in his bored tone and indifferent expression.

Surprised, not knowing what to say, you look at him and blink once, trying to process the information.

"Amh… Sure…!" You try to suppress a smile. "What do you have in mind, sir?"

Levi hands you a book.

Your shoulders jump in shock and your heart races when you read the title.
Turning your face away, you push the erotic book against his chest, having missed his hand.

"I-I'm not reading it…!" You feel your face burning hot. "Put it back where you found it, sir…"

Eren sighs, throwing himself on the bed after a shower.

During normal days, he can sleep in a tiny simple room, which is close to Hanji’s second office. It remains locked when the titan shifter is in heat, as at those times he is locked in a cell—in Hanji’s second office.

Looking out of the window to see the moon, the boy also ends up seeing the small glass bottle.
Embarrassed, he hugs the pillow and presses it to his face.

He really has to do it, doesn’t he?
The boy swallows hard and hesitantly reaches for the bottle.

It’s weird. It's embarrassing. Embarrassing that everyone knows what he is going to do that night. Embarrassing because you are also aware of it.

Then, it occurs to him: do you… Do it, too?

He knows he shouldn't think about this kind of thing. But he doesn't feel like stopping either. Eren's heartbeat grows louder as he resumes his wondering.

He slowly closes his eyes, furrowing his eyebrows. Imagining it is so tempting.
It feels wrong to imagine you like that, but the idea of you lying alone in the darkness of your room, slowly and timidly bringing your hand up to you clothed crotch, teasing yourself, makes Eren's eyes pop open. He shifts in bed, lying on his back, trying to breathe through his mouth without making a sound.

Damn, this is dangerous.

He can feel his lower area getting hot and bothered. He’s used to doing this sort of thing while thinking of you, but this thought is new to him.

More than just touching yourself, maybe you've already done other kind of things.
Of course you probably did, you're an adult. You must have experience with this subject… Right…?

Eren bites his lower lip in annoyance; he wants to know. But at the same time, he hates the idea of you sleeping with someone else.

What does your face look like… When you're doing stuff like that?

You're distant and irritable… But other times you’re ridiculously kind. There is dangerous sweetness within you, enough to kill a man.

Which one are you when you…?

Eren closes his eyes tightly, angrily biting his lip, neglecting the growing bulge inside his pants.

The room is silent and dark.
He can't stop his mind anymore.

Eren licks his lips nervously as he imagines you climbing into the bed and straddling him.
Maybe you, an experienced adult, could teach him this kind of thing. It doesn't matter how much you know; Eren wants to learn it all.

Eren’s hand touches his clothed bulge as he thinks of you above him, bringing his hand to your lower part and making him caress it while looking into his eyes.

The boy's eyes open, ashamed of his own thoughts.
He feels stupid. He’s used to jerking off at the thought of fucking you senseless, and now he is flustered at the idea of you touching yourself.

Taking a long, shaky breath, he takes a deep breath and lowers his pants just enough to free himself.
The titan shifter strokes himself, letting low, soft moans escape his throat, all at the thought of you inserting his fingers inside yourself and making the cutest of faces, teasing him on purpose, rolling your hips over his.

Eren's breathing becomes labored and his head is spinning. There is something in all of this that is messing him up terribly and he can't quite pinpoint it.
He wants to say your name, so he strongly clenches his teeth against it; the only noises in the dark room are his labored breathing and the slicky sounds of his strokes.

His imagination is killing him, showing you with closed eyes and open mouth, whispering his name over and over, then finally sitting and enveloping him in your warmth.
Unable to refrain himself, he hums with his mouth closed as his limit approaches.

The thought of you being the one thrusting your hips, reaching completion on top of him, throws Eren’s control away. He speeds up and pumps himself desperately, reaching his own peak. Your name accidentally comes out of his mouth as he instinctively thrusts upward while totally lost in bliss.

Face flushed and breathing hard through his mouth, Eren’s eyes suddenly open wide.

Oh no…
He just realized…

The boy’s heart sinks and his forearm covers his eyes.
This is no silly crush anymore…

Eren is absurdly in love with you.

19. Things we shouldn't do

The cadets are cleaning the HQ after a full week of heavy rain.

You are helping Eren after lunch. He is tense and awkward. You believe it's because last week's experiments were weird and made him ashamed of everything.

Eren appears to be very focused but gets scared every time you talk to him. You notice that he looks at you with sweet, loving eyes when he thinks you're distracted. More than usual, it is.
Sometimes you get the feeling he's going to say something, but he doesn't.

With the afternoon almost over, you finish helping Eren and excuse yourself. Breathing hard while mustering his courage, he despairs and grabs your arm, pulling you to look at him.

Startled, you are about to scold him, but his red, nervous face makes you stop.
His last heat was two weeks ago, so you keep calm, certain you’re not in danger. His grip on your arm drops to your wrist.

"Ah… I…" Eren nervously looks down, then up, then down to his hand almost holding yours. "I-It's just… I…" He bites his lower lip, cheeks burning red.

Oh, this is bad. You take a step back, trying to release your wrist.

"No, wait!" Eren is desperate, pulling you closer to him, still holding your wrist with one hand as the other one goes to the back of your head.

He quickly takes a deep breath to calm himself down and kisses you.

Because he is holding you tightly by the back of your neck, you're having trouble breaking free from his grip. You squirm and finally pull away from him.

Though his entire face is red, his eyes have a determination you've never seen before. Stepping back as he steps forward, you evade when he tries to grab your arm again.

"Wait!" Eren calls you, his flushed face serious with piercing eyes. He tries to hold your hand. "Listen to me."

"Eren, don't." You say as you walk away from him, your eyes on his. "We can't have this kind of contact." Your voice trembles at the thought of an upset Levi. Your stomach twists as you realize that where you are is perfectly visible from his window. "We're going to be punished and I'll be transferred or even fired…or…" Completely terrified of your own thoughts involving Levi, you clutch your own throat in fear.

"No, listen… let's talk…"

You leave him behind as you run away from him and enter the HQ. Your stomach is cold with fear, and this fear's not of Eren.

Levi hardly allows you and Eren to interact without somehow keeping an eye on you. If he really saw that…
You suddenly stop, alone in the corridors.
If Levi saw Eren kissing you, running straight to him right now is suicide.
With your heart pounding hard enough to hurt, you turn your ankles and run to your room.

If he really saw you, he is currently unable to have a conversation. And if he didn't see, you want time to think of how and if you're going to talk to him about it.

You enter your dark room.
The moment you lock the door behind you and sigh, a strong hand grabs your throat and slams your body against the wall.
Your hands instinctively try to free yourself from the grip, digging nails into the hand around your neck.

Your heart almost stops when you recognize the labored, furious breath.

Despite the hard time to breathe, you stop fighting the painful grip on your throat, letting your hands fall to your sides. You know the more you fight, the more he'll end up hurting you.

"Sir…" Is the only thing you are able to say under your breath.

The hand on your neck is gone, but then a sudden sharp pain hits your face so violently that you barely have time to close your eyes in anticipation.
You let out a whimper. That slap hurt much more than physically.

Levi throws you to the floor in the middle of the room. You dare not open your eyes. His uncontrolled breathing is scaring you beyond reason. While lying on the floor, you just shield your face with your arms, preparing for the worst.
But the only thing you hear for nearly a full minute is his loud breathing, indicating he’s standing right beside you.

"Kneel." He says slowly through clenched teeth.

Trembling, you do as he says.
The loud sound of a slap fills the room. You bite your lower lip for a brief moment, enduring the pain.
Levi slaps you in the face again. And again.

You breathe deeply through your mouth when another slap comes, always assaulting the same side of your face. Why does this fucker aim so well in the dark?
You hold back your yelps of pain, but can't hold back the tears that fall or your silent sobs.
The sudden sound of a zipper opening makes your heart skip a beat.
So it’s really coming to this, huh…

You take a deep breath, bracing yourself for what is about to happen.

"Suck."

Afraid of another slap, you immediately comply. But you find it weird; he isn't hard. At all.
You put him into your mouth and suck it gently, continually doing it without earning a single reaction from him.

Why is Levi doing that if he isn't in the mood? Only because he's angry? It's only to… Punish you? Well, you noticed that he tends to punish you with sex, but… Isn’t he supposed to at least enjoy this? How sad…

Levi leans forward and supports his weight by placing one hand on your head and the other one on your shoulder.
Your tongue swirls around him, teasing the slit, but nothing seems to make the slightest difference.

You’re both hurt and upset, and yet he's forcing you and himself into this.
You stop, releasing him, using your forearm to wipe the tears from your face.

"If you can't do this, then I'll have you watch some girl who can." His bored voice cuts through the silence, along with your heart.

Your eyes open wide at him, managing to see him even if the room is dark.

"What? No…" With a broken heart, you start crying out loud.

"I just have to give the order. If any girl here cares enough about her job, she won't think twice."

"Stop…" You sob, covering your face with your hands.

"If you can kiss another man, I don't see why I can't have other women suc—"

You shut him up by sucking him vigorously this time.
It doesn’t involve pleasure for him, it’s only about punishing you. He knows you don't exactly like doing it. He wants you to feel as insecure and humiliated as he is feeling right now.

He is holding his breath, you wonder if it is hurting. You hope it is.
You pull away to breathe.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry, sir." You're shaking and trying to stop crying, but now you're also really angry at the idea of someone else being under his eyes or between his legs. Holding him by the straps of his clothed thighs, you look at him with a dangerous glint in your eyes. "I'll receive any kind of punishment. But if a woman tries to touch you like this, I'll kill her."

Levi's body moves for a moment and you're sure it's because he shivered.
Not only is your voice erotically hoarse, but for the first time in your life it carried real killing intent.

As you are about to take him in your mouth again, he grabs your hair tightly and pulls your head back. This slap carries more strength than any that has come before. Its sound, however, is the only thing that echoes in the room, as you are determined not to let out a single sigh. You’re angry; it has become a battle of resistance. It’s about enduring it.

Without hesitation, you have him in your mouth again. You suck on him with abandon while digging your nails into his hips.
Reflexively from pain, discomfort or pleasure (or all at once), Levi takes a step back, still holding your hair with one hand while the other goes to your chin, trying to hold the base of his length when it leaves your mouth.

As you move forward, involving him again with the wet heat of your mouth, you notice he's not as soft as before.
You abruptly pull his hand away, holding him by yourself.

The idea of someone else sucking him like that makes a hot discomfort burn inside your stomach. The act becomes violent on your part too.
It doesn't matter to you if it hurts him, you will do it in such a way that any other will feel wrong to him.
Feeling him get harder as you move your head, you take it into your mouth as far as you can and swallow hard and slowly.
You hear him holding back a painful grunt in his throat. His nails scrape your scalp hard as he grips your hair tighter.

You're about to swallow again, but he grabs the back of your head with both hands and starts moving on his own.
The sudden movement makes you choke, but he doesn't appear to care.
You shakily breathe as much as you can through your nose as he assaults your mouth. You decide to stay still and let him move as he wants, otherwise you're afraid your gag reflex will make a number with so much impact against your throat.

It's suffocating for you, but his breathing feels like he doesn't have air either. He sounds overly excited now and you wonder exactly when this happened.
It's hard and painful and humiliating, you want it to be over as soon as possible. But at the same time, seeing him out of control like that, groans mixed with his gasps for air, make you wish the room had some light. You are willing to pay months of your salary to see what kind of indecent expression he has right now.

Just when you think you can't go on any longer, he pulls away, supporting his weight in the grip he has on your hair. You feel your chin and the fabric on your chest being splashed with the hot liquid that spills from him. You can hear his choked, low moans.

You believe he just had a hell of an orgasm because his legs wobble and he drops to his knees beside you.
Who knows what triggers this man like that? You hope that one day you can understand his entire being. The bastard.

Ugh, how very angry you are. Yet, there’s this feeling of ‘serves you right’ inside your chest when looking at the breathless Corporal, who broke first. Fucking jerk.
You wipe your chin with a shoulder. Levi grabs your wrist from the same arm and pulls you to him.
For some reason, you don’t feel so scared anymore.

"Don't forget." Still with his mind foggy, he growls as his other hand reaches your throat. "Next time…"

"It's not Eren's fault." You say, clenching your fists, preventing yourself from grabbing the hand that tightens the grip around your neck. "He doesn't know… He doesn't know I'm yours…"

Levi's grip falters, which allows you to breathe.

"… I'll turn him down tomorrow, so… If you're going to punish him for what he did, be fair." When noticing that he starts moving again the hands on your hair and neck, you quickly add; "As for me… I didn't expect he would kiss me, but… I belong to you so you can do whatever you want, I don’t care. As long as you don't get involved with someone else, I'll endure it."

Again, his hands hesitate.
You hear him sighing heavily through his nose and suddenly you're pushed back, falling to the floor again.
Dodged a bullet there, huh.

"For a week I don't want to see you in my office. Instead, you'll help with cleaning. You're not allowed to take breaks between cleaning or paperwork. Nor are you allowed to leave the HQ. For a week you'll leave your room only to work, eat and shower. Is it clear?"

Oh, this is bad. This is bad but, looking down from the depths of hell where you are, doesn't that mean you've won?
You interrupted his rage and made him stop talking about sleeping with other girls. It’s dark and you can’t see him, but Levi sounded shaken and indirectly accepted your terms.
Your lips twitch, almost failing to suppress a distorted, wicked smile.
This is hell, but you won.

"Yes, sir…" You hear him getting up and adjusting his clothes.

"Tonight, you won't leave your room. I forbid you to sleep in your bed until tomorrow. I'll unlock your door in the morning."

His footsteps get distant so you understand he is about to leave your room.

"At the end of the week, I'll see if you're needed."

You see the door opening and his boots leaving the room. A click locks you in that room.

Right now, the cadets are having dinner in the mess hall, but after so much aggression against your throat, you don't feel like eating at all. You have to sleep on the floor, but even if you didn’t have, there’s no will or strength left to get up.
You believe the night will be cold, but Levi’s words about getting another girl as a punishment make you dizzy enough not to care. Tired and frustrated, you fall asleep soon but have a terrible night’s rest.

In the morning, you hear a click opening the door and the loud footsteps of a pair of boots approaching you.

“Get up.” Levi's voice orders you coldly.

You are angry, tired, hungry, hurt. You ignore him.
The heavy impact of his boot on your shoulder, pressing it hard against the floor, makes your eyes pop open in shock and pain.

"If you don't get up now, I'll lock you up for another day."

You shower and head to the mess hall, ignoring Eren's table and sitting alone, eating unwillingly despite being hungry. You know Levi is watching you. You know Eren nervously peeks at you from time to time.
You don't care. Your body is sore, but your mind and heart are numb.
There are heavy marks under your eyes, your cheek is kind of red and slightly swollen from last night's massive slaps. You feel like killing someone.

When leaving the mess hall, you see Eren, Armin, and Mikasa walking together and chatting. You cross your arms.

"Eren." Your voice is hoarse. It shocks you. It seems to shock Eren too, as the boy stiffens. You clear your throat. "You come with me."

You take Eren to the field near Levi's office window, where Eren kissed you on the last day.

"Listen, Eren—"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know…"

"Yes, you did, you know cadets can't—"

"I meant about your engagement." He interrupts you again.

Your eyes widen. You almost choke on your own spit.

"What." You are unable to intone a question.

"Corporal Levi saw us yesterday. He got me after dinner." Eren mimics a punch hitting his cheek.

You are confused, almost terrified. Engagement?

"Oh, I'm okay, don't worry. I mean, at some point I saw a tooth flying out, but he wasn't as harsh as I thought he would be." Eren waves his hand at you as if to say he is fine. "You, otherwise…" His expression turns really guilty, eyes resting on your red cheek. "I'm sorry he hit you too. It wasn't your fault at all."

Eren looks at you, who’s blinking compulsively, still trying to understand.

"He told me you are engaged to a man in your hometown. I'm very sorry, I didn't know about that. I thought you'd tell me something like that, but like the Corporal said, it's actually none of my business."

Your expression softens.

"I hope it doesn't affect your relationship. I really… like you, you know, I want you to be ok." His cheeks turn red. "Although there are seven years between us, I've never really felt it, but… now I see how much of a difference it makes. To think you're engaged… I really am just a brat after all."

Eren is hurt. You open your mouth, not knowing what to say, but close it again.

"Again, I'm very sorry. I know I always screw things up. I hope we can still be friends. Please." His red cheeks and sad, embarrassed figure always make you let your guard down.

Eren is lowering his head, but you can see the tears forming in his eyes.
You just nod in agreement, still speechless.
He smiles very faintly, still a little shaken, excuses himself and heads back to the building.

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Levi through his window, watching you. You ignore him and leave.

You're assisting Erwin.

Once again, you realize that it's been a long time since you said 'hello' to your family. You had established this weekly routine of writing letters to them, but in the end, you couldn’t keep it up. However, to be honest, you don't feel like writing to them at all; lately you have been too upset for that. Not sure if you can muster the energy to lie to them, you're afraid to make your parents worried, instead.

But then, when you turn the page to the next paper you have to check, all your thoughts are interrupted by something that startles you.

"Amh… Sir?” Tense, you call the Commander. “Is it ok for me to see this document?"

"Oh." He puts a hand to his chin, looking at the absurdly confidential paper you're showing him. "Don't you know how to handle this?"

"I kind of know, but isn't it—"

"Then, please." He cuts you off with a calm and polite tone, not letting you finish your sentence.

You swallow hard. This can’t be good. Definitely not a good sign.
Erwin notices your heavy expression, swollen cheek, and hoarse voice.

“It’s just a cold, Commander.” You explain when he asks you about it.

"Shouldn't you take the day off, then?" He asks, concerned, but looking suspicious.

"I'm all right, sir. Thank you."

You work in silence for about two hours, then Erwin opens his drawer.

"Oh, right." He takes the envelope Nile sent to him. "I have to talk to you about something. I apologize for the delay, but we were trying to work this out ourselves first."

You look at the paper he opens and slides to you.

"The Military Police seems very interested in having you working with them. We must be in court in a few days to settle this."

Oh. That's right. You almost forgot about that.
That odd feeling hits you again, the one that makes you feel like something is off.

You feign surprise.

"How do they know I exist?" You frown.

"I don't mean to insult you, but I also wondered about that myself." Erwin says. "I can only imagine that the Garrison and the Military Police communicate fairly frequently."

Your stomach turns cold and you swallow hard.
It’s not the time to think about it now, is it? No, it’s too soon. It’s probably about Eren anyway, no need to panic. Get it together.

"Still… Is the paperwork in the military that bad? It doesn't seem like an excuse for… this." You point at the paper with an open hand. "I mean… They sent a paper like this when they tried to get custody of Eren, right?"

"Correct." And the Commander looks very interested and focused on your reactions right now.

"Anyway, as I have no interest in leaving the Survey Corps, what do you instruct me to do, sir, considering that the Survey Corps also wants me around?"

"Well, it would be very unpleasant for us if you left the Survey Corps now, as you are so involved in our paperwork routine." He is speaking in a low tone, almost as if warning you.

Serious, you look at him, paying attention not just to what he says to you, but to what he really means by it.

"We will present our arguments and hope for the best. Usually, many topics to be discussed remain confidential until the last minute, so it’s basically a gamble. I recommend that you not say anything more than necessary. Please keep the date in mind. Dismissed."

❖

You are still banned from appearing in front of Levi. And you are still mad at him. You can't tell what pissed you off the most; be treated that way or his threat to get involved with another woman.
You never before felt so serious about killing someone. It scares you.

So many things have happened since you joined the Survey Corps, so many times you've had problems when the subject was Levi, but you never felt like this. Even when you found out Petra liked him, it didn't crush you this way.

Levi is toxic, but you are the only person allowed to die intoxicated.

While helping Hanji and Moblit to carry back the equipment used in the experiments on Eren, you see Levi walking in the corridors. You turn your face away to ignore him, but something makes you look at him again. He is being followed by a very small cadet girl, who is carrying documents for him.

You could swear the taste in your mouth is blood, but it’s too sour.

The girl drops a few documents. When Levi notices and turns to scold her, his eyes meet yours.
He looks shocked. Not from seeing you. Not from you catching him being followed by a girl who apparently is doing your job. But your face has an expression he has never seen before; your eyes are dark, cold, menacing. They look like… His own.

You turn your face to look at Moblit, who is making all the effort to carry the equipment. You apologize and you both return it to Hanji's second office.

Over the next few days, you are very quiet, constantly frowning. You treat everyone politely, but you are, without a doubt, much colder and more distant.
You see that same girl again taking papers to Levi. Annoyed, you walk past the blonde runt, ignoring her and entering Erwin's office.

After three hours of silent work, Erwin hands you a document related to the hearing, asking you to show it to every higher-up mentioned in it and request them to sign it.

You look at the paper. It seems that a lot of high ranks have to attend it as well.

“Ah, and these are for Corporal Levi.” Distracted, he slides a thin stack of paper toward you.

Fuck.

Walking with no will to Levi's office, you feel your stomach twist.
You knock and enter without waiting for his response. The girl is sitting on the chair you usually sit, surrounded by papers herself. She looks very confused, lost and nervous. Levi's eyes dart to you as you walk towards him.

Maybe it's because you are angry, but you can't read his expression at all.
You again ignore the girl and place the papers on Levi's desk, not looking at him.

"The Commander needs these signed for later." Your voice is cold, disinterested. The sharpness of your indifference seems to cut something inside Levi. "But he needs this one read and signed now." You hand him the document about the hearing.

Only when he looks at the paper you risk peeking at him. His expression softens as he reads the first line.
The girl is looking at you, but you refuse to acknowledge her presence, instead focusing on the paper Levi is reading.
Levi finishes reading and signs it. He hands you the paper without looking at you. You glance at the pen he is using; the one you gave him.

You excuse yourself and leave the office, not closing the door completely as you are distracted by rereading the content of the document, which informs the date, those who will attend, and the topics to be discussed and resolved. With your hand still holding the doorknob, you're startled when you hear Levi's voice.

"Dismissed, cadet."

You think he noticed you standing behind his door, but he isn't talking to you.

"But sir, these are still—"

"Dismissed." His voice is somewhat tired. Somewhat hoarse.

Quickly moving to the next door, you pretend to be waiting as you watch the girl leave.
You peek cautiously into his office, through the door she left ajar.
Levi is with his face buried in his hand, looking very exhausted and upset. He takes a long breath.

You head to the next office, resuming your task.

Hanji reads the document and signs it. Your eyes dart around and you bite your lower lip; you want to keep it to yourself, but it's killing you.

"Are we training other soldiers to deal with paperwork?"

She looks at you with sincere confusion.

"Hm? Oh, you mean the one who's helping Levi?"

You blink, not intending to answer.

"No, no. Shorty got papers on his desk until he couldn't be seen anymore, not that it means much, but…" Hanji takes a sip of tea. "His deadlines were waaay late so Erwin got really mad and asked if some of the new cadets could help him."

"So, the girl kindly offered her help, I suppose." You say softly, but hints of bitterness are inevitably noticeable in your voice.

"Hn, I guess so." Hanji grimaces when she sees a document she has just soiled with tea. "She looks like someone who likes to help." Hanji pushes the dirty document to a dark side of her desk, condemning it to eternal oblivion.

"She's helping plenty." You say cynically, rolling your eyes.

"Ah, I'm not sure about that…" Hanji looks at you, failing to notice your cynicism. "She looks really scared of Levi—though I can't blame her—plus paperwork doesn't seem to be her forte, poor one."

You raise both eyebrows at Hanji.

"It's true. I heard him and Erwin talking." She shrugs.

You look down to think and settle things out inside your head.
Hanji smiles mischievously.

"Why is shorty punishing you this time? Did a butterfly land on your head?"

You give a short laugh through your nose.

"You pamper him too much." Hanji's smile is gone. "Letting him do whatever he wants is no good."

You avert your eyes.

“Actually, I’m worried about the hearing." You blatantly change the subject. "The Commander didn't enlighten me very much when I asked him about it."

"We can't talk about that either." She pats you on the back. "Sometimes it's better this way."

"The last time I heard that a defendant wasn't informed of the plan, Corporal Levi beat the living soul out of him in front of the jury."

"Oh, but you're not a defendant! It's just like a very formal meeting." Hanji laughs and suddenly gets serious again. "But I'd be careful if Levi approached me in court if I were you."

You gulp.

"What's wrong, Jean?" You ask in a bored tone, hand on hip. He's sitting alone in the busy main hall with a haunted expression.

"Ismene is evil…" He says without looking at you.

"Ohh, that." You smile for the first time in days. So, he managed to borrow the book and read this part.

In fact, she was a well-known criminal in the city where she and the male lead met. She lied and manipulated him into taking her to a specific country so she could try to kill the prince, who was just as evil as her.

"You see, she wanted to save her brother from being executed." You support your weight on the back of his chair.

"The guy wasn't even her actual brother."

"She was raised by his family, like Eren and Mikasa."

"I don't understand. Why do things like that? An evil girl uses an evil guy to save her evil brother." Jean shakes his head.

"They're a trio of rascals." You laugh. "Did you hate it?"

"I haven't finished reading yet. I didn't get a chance to borrow it again." He looks at you. "What happens next?"

"Can't tell you the end, but they do what rascals do. Tell me later if you actually hated it or not." You ruffle his hair and leave.

Your mood is a little better now from the small talk with Jean.
As you walk through the main hall, you think for a moment and decide to start writing to your family again every week. It will certainly help you to feel less lonely, and you should take into account that your mom and dad miss you too. You intend to write only white lies about your happy everyday life at the Survey Corps.
Though you should perhaps consider visiting them in the near future. If you’re going to do that, you must first accumulate your days off.

You pass the small girl who has been helping Levi. She is talking to her friend.

"Are you still helping that jerk, Christa?" Ymir asks, both hands on hips and looking really annoyed.

"He has lots of things to do and the papers never seem to cease, it's really distressing but I can’t just leave him like that."

You roll your eyes in annoyance and walk faster, only to almost bump into Levi at the corner of the corridor.

His expression softens to the point of almost sadness.
Averting your eyes, you keep walking, but he grabs your arm and pulls you to look at him.
Levi isn't looking at you, but his grip tightens.

You hear a group of cadets approaching, so the Corporal lets go of your arm and leaves.

What was that? Did he want to talk to you? Well, you don’t.
If anything, right now you want to see him writhing in despair and agony.
And yet, having his hand let go of you makes you strangely sad.

Entering your room, you lie down on the bed and hug your pillow.
Maybe it's a trick of your imagination, but long since your room seems to smell like Levi. You wonder if he still visits your room when you're not there. Even your pillow now seems to smell like him.

In two days, you'll be standing in court. To get there on time, you'll have to leave the HQ tomorrow morning with the convoked higher-ups.

Feeling a tired mess, you fall asleep quickly.

Working until after curfew, Levi raises an eyebrow at the non-stop colleagues entering his office.
He frowns at Erwin, waiting for context.

"I have to talk to all of you, so I brought the ones I found along the way." Erwin explains, shrugging.

"Why here?" Levi scowls.

"Wow, is that new?" Hanji comes out of nowhere and grabs the corners of Levi's desk, leaning over to look at the fountain pen in his hand.

Startled with her sudden appearance, he doesn't answer, tightening his grip around the pen.

"I wanted this one," She straightens up again. "too expensive, though. I didn’t have the courage to pay that much for it."

Contained, yet surprised, Levi looks at the pen in his hand.

"Oh, such a fine material, indeed." Erwin says as he casually leans over to look at it too, not missing a chance to mock the Corporal. "You have good taste, Levi. Where did you buy it?"

"Don't change the subject, Erwin. Of all places, why a meeting HERE?"

"We leave at dawn." Ignoring Levi's question, Erwin gets very serious and looks at the captains and squad leaders in the room. "You may have noticed that there is an unusual source of money and influence behind the Military Police lately. Their requests to acquire the rights to Eren and our secretary were strangely well attended; bureaucratic procedures that would take weeks are being done in a day or two.”

Everyone is tense, even Levi, who is constantly looking at the pen in his hand.

“There's definitely something wrong. It is very likely that we have an invisible enemy.” With his hands behind his back, Erwin lifts his head. “As always, we will be making a bet and what we discuss here cannot be discussed with anyone else."

20. Trial

You wake up early and run off to shower and eat.

When leaving the HQ to join the high ranks in the carriages, you are surprised when seeing Eren.

Isn’t the hearing about you? Why Eren…?

"We will only have one break along the way." Erwin explains to his soldiers. "You can switch places in this break, as long as Eren is with Levi and our secretary doesn't join them—no, Hanji, you can't join them either." He says firmly as Hanji raises her hand. He looks at everyone again. "Are we clear?"

The trip takes almost the entire day. It's not like you don't want to be with Levi, but you think it's better this way; you’re still upset.

You arrive at night.
Apparently, all of you will be staying at the Military Police’s headquarters until morning. You notice Eren is handcuffed, following Levi. He wasn't like that when you left the Survey Corps’ HQ. Well, everyone believes the kid is locked up 24/7 under Levi’s supervision.

Nile awaits you at the main gate of the Military Police HQ.
Erwin and Nile greet each other respectfully and exchange some minor information about the next day. Erwin orders his soldiers to enter and follow the MP soldiers to find out where the dormitories are.

Nile's eyes are on you. You're the only one he doesn't know among the current Survey Corps soldiers. You have to be the cadet who handles paperwork, the reason for that event.
As you walk past Nile, you try to ignore him, but after looking at you closely like that, he grabs your forearm. Scared, you wince and look at him. Levi and Erwin, still around and talking to each other, notice it.

"Don't I know you…?" Nile asks slowly, narrowing his eyes.

Your heart races.

"For God's sake, Nile, aren't you married?" Levi asks loudly from where he is.

"Don’t get me wrong!" Nile says, exasperated, releasing you to argue with Levi.

You quickly enter the building and don't leave your room until the next day.

In the morning, you get dressed and when opening the door, you find a tray with bread, a fruit and a glass of water on the floor.
So you aren't going to eat in the mess hall with their soldiers, huh. How mean.

While eating your apple, you hear a knock at the door.
Opening the door, you take about three steps back in shock. Looking in a hurry, a very determined Levi enters the room and closes the door behind him.

You open your mouth, but his hand covers it and pushes you until your back hits the wall behind you.
Levi leans in to whisper into your ear.

“I highly disagree with Erwin's decision not to allow you to participate in this." He whispers in a hurried voice. "We’re going to paint you as an ignorant bitch, so play along if the word is given to you, but don’t say anything beyond the necessary. Don’t say anything on your own."

You hesitantly nod.
Levi deeply sighs through his nose. It tickles your ear.

You wince when feeling his hand caressing your crotch. You try to push him away, but he locks your body with his, pressing you hard against the wall. The quick sound of him unzipping your pants makes your knees shake in anticipation.

His fingers immediately spring into action, not hesitating to go directly to where he knows it feels right for you. You whimper against his hand over your mouth.

"Now be good." His low whispers are killing you.

You grab his arms over his jacket, digging your nails on them. He must be feeling a bit of pain as he also lets out a little grunt.
His breathing in your ear as he massages you makes the whole room spin. You miss him, his touch, his smell. It's all there now.

Unable to stop yourself, you give a thrust against his hand.
You hear his usual ‘hm’ of approval. Levi's index and ring fingers spread your entrance and his middle finger slides inside.
Your loud complaint makes Levi press his hand against your mouth even harder.
Moving his finger inside you, he looks pleased that you're already wet like this.

"That's right…" He breathes, slowly fingering you, but then he grunts when feeling you contract around his finger. It makes him dizzy to imagine himself inside you, being squeezed like that. "Don't do this…" Levi's lips are touching your ear as he speaks. "Don't… I… might die… Stop it…"

His weak plea makes you contract your walls even more. Levi lets out a loud moan of frustration and withdraws his fingers from you, resuming his previous caresses but rubbing vigorously now.

Levi's hand leaves your mouth and he looks at your face, paying close attention to your reactions.

"Come on… Be a good girl…" He whispers, biting hard his own lower lip in arousal. "Be a good girl for me."

You start thrusting against his hands, the movements helping to push you over the edge.

"Let me see your face…" Out of breath, Levi is finding it hard to look away from your lips. "When you come in my hand…"

Your legs wobble and your body shudders as you come, just as he ordered. You feel your eyes closing and your mouth opening, soft, silent moans coming out of it.

Levi holds his breath, obsessively watching all of it.

He sighs deeply.
You feel him moving away from you.
When you open your eyes, you can only catch a glimpse of his back before the door is closed.

You rest your weight on the nightstand to catch your breath, at least until your head stops spinning.
Levi had left the room as quickly as he entered. It almost feels unreal. If it weren't for your wet panties, you could have sworn you were daydreaming.

Levi looked extremely aroused, but whatever happened, it didn't involve his own pleasure. Maybe he was trying to make up for that awful day when he slapped you.

You sigh.
Erwin doesn't trust you enough to include you in his plans. But he could at least tell you to play dumb like Levi did. Are you that untrustworthy? Maybe he just thinks you're too stupid or too naive to play along.

Another knock at the door. Erwin calls your name, telling you it's time to go. You zip up your pants and run to open the door.

"Yes, sir."

Erwin stops and looks at you with a surprised expression; your face is red, your hair is disheveled, your eyes are hazy.

"Are you feeling well?"

"Y-yes."

"You're… Drooling." He blinks.

You immediately wipe your mouth with your sleeve.

"I-I'm just nervous, sir. Couldn't sleep well."

The meeting begins, but it indeed feels more like a trial; alone in the middle of that huge room, you are being watched from four separated sides that surround you; the main table in front of you and the three military branches.
Since you are a soldier, the Commander-in-Chief Darius Zackly is in charge of hearing the case in the military court.

Zackly reads his paper aloud, stating the reasons that had brought everyone there; the Military Police requesting your transfer to them due to the amount of paperwork they have. He glances at Nile with a strange expression you can't read.

The Military Police is the first to speak.

Nile, with his papers in hand, flips through them, saying that the Military Police have great interest in someone who is already used to paperwork routine, who can help them with the amount of overdue reports. They had lost many soldiers and many civilians. As Wall Sina is where the important families and the royalty are located, it is of high priority. Besides, the amount of paperwork in the MP has increased over the years and it is recognized that it's now necessary to have a person responsible for this department.

Interlacing his fingers, Zackly asks why exactly you.

“She is the first soldier the MP ever heard of just doing paperwork. All other soldiers who eventually assist their superior officers in offices also attend training routines. She, on the other hand, is not even allowed to carry weapons.” Nile answers. “Removing her will not affect the performance of the Survey Corps.”

The Commander-in-Chief looks at Pixis, the Garrison's Commander.

"Explain the part about the ban on carrying blades."

“Ah, sure.” Pixis steps forward. “Personally, I never met the cadet, but I read many reports about her. I once read that she caused a serious accident that injured not only herself but some colleagues and a superior officer, where is—Oh, she’s not here, unfortunately. It’d be very enlightening.”

You gulp, turning to look at the Garrison’s side.

“After that day it was determined that this cadet here can still use the 3D Maneuver Gear, as long as she doesn’t carry blades in it.”

You get a bit embarrassed. You know the Survey Corps had already read the report when you were transferred, but still. It makes you wonder what went through Levi’s mind when he first read about it.

"Though according to the reports, it looks like she can't use them at all." Pixis adds, shrugging.

“How did she end up in the Survey Corps?” Zackly asks Erwin, who respectfully rises to his feet.

"The Garrison concluded in its report that her performance and work pace did not fit into the division’s routine."

Levi is fidgeting. It draws Erwin's attention for a moment, but he immediately looks back at the Commander-in-Chief.

"And in the Survey Corps it was different because…?" Zackly adjusts his glasses.

"I believe it was the focus of her function. In the beginning it was an experience. As it worked well and she got used to the paperwork, she was officially transferred." Erwin explains.

“How long has she been with the Survey Corps?”

"About a year and a half."

Glancing at Levi again, Erwin notices that he is biting down hard on his lower lip and has a very frustrated expression on his face, tapping his foot while his eyes are fixed on you.

"State you work routine." Zackly orders you.

You silently breathe deeply.

"Reports, documents archiving, stock control. I, sometimes, am assigned to help with the cleaning." You choose very well your next words. "But my main job is to assist the superiors with their paperwork. Surely, the non-confidential ones. I have a weekly schedule designed to be able to assist each of them."

"You cannot enter combat; what about the daily training?"

"Dismissed, as kindly suggested in the Garrison’s report." You fail to hide your grudge, not noticing Levi’s proud posture for being responsible for cutting out this training bullshit—AS IF he'd allow you to keep rolling on the ground with another man.

The Commander-in-Chief looks at Erwin.

"Anything else?"

"No, sir. The information provided is accurate."

"She doesn't look like she's 23 at all." Levi whispers to Erwin in a grunt. "Her smell and taste are of a grown woman, though."

Erwin clears his throat at the unexpected comment, not looking at Levi as Zackly is directing another question at him.

"The Military Police requested the right to ask her some questions in advance. Any objections?" Zackly's voice echoes in the silent hall.

"None." Erwin says calmly.

Nile steps forward with his papers again and clears his throat.

“Since we would like you to be transferred to our division, we initially have a proposal.”

You blink.

"Your family's house is known to be in Wall Rose. Currently, you accumulate days off so that you can travel and visit them from time to time. Such thing is necessary due to distance and therefore travel time. We offer to move your family into a house within Wall Sina as soon as you are transferred to the Military Police.”

You raise your eyebrows at Nile. It is, indeed, a very dirty move. Land is very expensive in Wall Sina; a fortune per square meter. Nile smiles triumphantly.

“The fucker…” Levi says and Erwin is about to scold him, but then he hears Hanji and Mike cursing Nile as well.

Levi tenses up. He knows very well how tempting this offer can be. It once also seduced him when he lived in the underground city.

Even if you are looking at Nile, you can feel the tension building among the higher-ups. You even get the feeling you heard Levi cursing at Nile. But, of course, he wouldn’t. Right?

An offer like that would make any loyal soldier tempted to think about it. But…

"Excuse me, sir." You raise your hand. "But how many people is the MP willing to bring to Sina?"

"Hm? About four, no more than five. Why?"

"That's too bad. I have eight siblings."

You hear loud gasps coming from the boss-land corner and you’re sure to hear Hanji’s laugh. This information wasn't included in the report about you. Nile looks quite shocked.

"Amh…" He starts. "Well, it won't be possible to bring all of th—"

"Plus, my parents. And my three older sisters already have children. They aren't married and live with my parents."

As you are facing Zackly and Nile, you can't see it, but Levi's eyes are wide, focused on a random spot.

"What a fertile family. Careful with that." Erwin whispers to Levi in a mocking tone.

"Shut. Up." Without looking at Erwin, Levi whispers back fiercely.

"With my earnings, I cannot support them enough to live in Sina, where the cost of living is very high." You wave your hand to emphasize your speech. "Back at my house, they are not in need because they grow their own food in the fields. The money I send them makes almost no difference."

"… We can give you a raise." Nile stutters.

"Enough to support nearly fifteen people?"

But even if the MP can bring your whole family and quadruple your salary, you couldn't accept it from the start. So, you are grateful for the impediment. It makes things easier.
The MP is offering too much for a useless soldier. Again, that weird feeling. You start connecting the dots.

"Are you really willing to refuse to join the Military Police just because of your family?" Nile asks. "It's a chance you wouldn't have under normal conditions."

"Oh, I also have a fiancé in my hometown." You fake a bubbly smile to look stupid and in love, and out of the corner of your eye you can see Eren sulking.

Fiancé? Erwin raises his eyebrows at Levi, the author of such a story, who now has a proud stance with his arms crossed.

"But it seems very unfair. To be able to join the MP without having the minimum requirements for it." You add, feigning humility.

Nile clicks his tongue, turning one of his papers.

"I'd like to confirm… Do you know this person?" Nile indicates Eren with an open hand.

"Eren Yeager. He is under the supervision of Corporal Levi."

Levi visibly shivers at you saying his name. Erwin pretends not to notice.

"Good. And what is your relationship with him?"

You blink and tilt your head.

"I help him with his paperwork."

"… I meant Eren Yeager."

You frown, looking offended.

"None."

The higher-ups aren't even blinking now. Except…

"God, I want her now…" Levi complains in a pained whisper, too pleased with your cynicism.

Erwin wonders why Levi is like that at such a tense moment.

"You have no contact with him at all…?" Nile asks, not buying it.

"Why would I?" You twist your face into a disgusted expression. "He can turn into a titan."

An ignorant bitch.

"Chief, I can confirm this information." Erwin raises his hand. "Eren Yeager does not interact with other cadets. He also has his meals separately in his cell, which is constantly guarded."

Eren silently and eagerly nods at the Commander's statement.

"I suppose you have contact with the reports regarding him, at least?" Nile looks at you.

"No. I only deal with the high ranks' paperwork."

"You really don't do anything else beyond paperwork, then…?" He scoffs suspiciously.

"… Sometimes I make tea."

"And squirm under me." Levi whispers mischievously, just loud enough for Erwin to hear him. The commander ignores the comment for the sake of decency.

Nile sighs in annoyance at your answers.

Zackly requests some of the higher-ups assisted by you to give a brief testimony.

"She doesn't let out many sounds, even when I'm ramming it into her to the hilt… It’s a little frustrating." Levi deadpans as another colleague gets up to testify. Erwin coughs quickly to cover the man's whispered indecencies.

"We don't need this kind of testimony, Levi…" Erwin is focusing on not thinking about what is being described to him.

When Zackly thinks it’s enough, he lets the MP speak again.
Nile turns the pages, finding the specific one he was looking for.

"We received information that experiments on Eren Yeager are being carried out at the headquarters of the Survey Corps. Is this correct, cadet?" He assumes an offensive tone.

There it is. The point of all of this.

"I've never heard of such things happening at the HQ." You say calmly, but looking at Nile as if he is saying nonsense.

"Look at that small mouth of hers," Levi whispers, crossing his arms and biting his lower lip. "just thinking about that sweet tiny mouth around my—"

"Chief!” Erwin interrupts Levi's reverie. “These are some serious accusations. We would not allow such atrocity."

You hold back a snort. Poor Eren.

"Her devastated face when she c—"

"It's true!" Eren unconsciously saves Erwin from hearing Levi. "There's nothing like that happening."

That’s right, Nile Dok. Hanji's reports about Eren are for Erwin and Erwin only.

"She is so soft inside." Levi's eyelids flutter, completely lost in his thoughts. "It was so good and so indecent this morning… The way she was squeezing my fing—"

"Stop it, Levi. I won't be able to face her." Erwin is covering his own mouth. He swallows hard and clears his throat heavily, raising his hand again. "Chief, it seems the focus and objectives here aren't the same as indicated in the document sent to us." Erwin's voice is steady and calm, despite the obscenities his horny Corporal is chanting nonstop to him. "The MP appears to be interested in using a paperwork cadet to obtain supposedly secret information concerning Eren Yeager."

Zackly sighs slowly through his nose as he thinks and listens to Erwin.

You believe it's even more than that. You know the Garrison has no interest in you, so their previous attempts to retrieve you were probably only to transfer you to the Military Police shortly thereafter.

No.

Back then, when you eavesdropped on their conversation, Erwil told Levi that it looked like the Garrison wasn't even trying; it was very easy to counter their requests.
What if… What if the Garrison’s attempts were to see what the Survey Corps would use as arguments in its defense, so that when the Military Police tried, Nile would have way more information to attack?

You know someone who’d think of this approach. A strange fear slowly begins to fill your heart.

The MP won't stop trying to have Eren under their control, they are betting with every possible resource. If they somehow reveal that you know something about Eren and the Survey Corps' confidential and illegal affairs, it would be much easier for them to subdue the previous decision on Eren's custody.

“Indeed. The objective here is to decide whether the cadet will stay in the Survey Corps or the Military Police." Zackly's voice silences all the murmur. "Any other matter will require a pre-scheduled conference."

"… I'm hard…" Levi slowly shakes his head, looking devastated.

"… Really…" Erwin sighs.

You don’t know how many other arguments and leaked secret information the MP has in stock. But even though Zackly has banned the subject, Nile looks confident with his papers in hand. Of course, he would not ask for such a court meeting if he had no evidence or support.
The Military Police soldiers have little or no access to the Survey Corps building. The Garrison, however, often sends its soldiers to all headquarters. Some of Hanji’s experiments are done out in the open. If anyone saw something, it’s probably from the Garrison.
And if someone from the Garrison comes to testify and provides some specific details, Zackly might issue an investigation to be conducted at the Survey Corps HQ.

Damn… Is this his ace card?

You and Erwin agree that the Garrison and the Military Police are in cahoots over a coup on the Survey Corps. It is unlikely that Pixis is responsible for this plot on Garrison's side. The only one with enough influence you can think of is…

You swallow hard, your hands feeling cold. You’re not sure how capable and cunning Erwin is, but you don’t believe he can outsmart that person.
If who you think is behind this, indeed is… It doesn’t matter how much Erwin relies on logical arguments and defensive suggestions, Nile will keep pushing until it’s convenient for him to show his ace card.
This meeting must not go on any longer, you have to interrupt it at all costs.

"I couldn't touch her for weeks." Levi looks at you as he whispers to Erwin. "And now seeing her like this, apprehensive, vulnerable, alone in the middle of this damn hall with everyone watching her…" A shiver runs down his spine.

Erwin opens his mouth to whisper a response, but he stops—his shocked and worried wide eyes now fixed on you, whose hand is raised, asking permission to speak.

"Yes." Zackly allows you.

"The Survey Corps has a very serious problem with paperwork. Transferring the person responsible for it is impractical," You say very calmly. "however, if the Military Police's situation is similar, I offer to instruct a few MP's soldiers at the Survey Corps' headquarters, so that they can also provide this service. It's my suggestion for this situation, as none of the divisions can go on without this kind of assistance at the moment."

Nile frowns. It will be difficult to keep pressing when this kind of solution is given.

"We don't have enough cadets to do such a thing." Nile says.

"But the number of soldiers in the Military Police is way greater than in the Survey Corps'." Zackly reminds him. "If you are so desperate to get your paperwork in order, this won't be too much of a sacrifice."

Each member of the Survey Corps widens their eyes at what appears to be the conclusion of that meeting.

"I believe the suggestion is adequate for what can be done at the moment." Zackly, with his tired shoulders aching, adjusts himself in his chair. "This is my final decision then. Dismissed."

"Everyone, get on the carriages." Erwin calmly orders as the captains and the squad leaders carry their belongings and feed the horses.

"Just give me a few minutes, Erwin." Levi asks seriously with his voice hoarse. "I'll make this quick, just—"

"You can't do this kind of thing with her at the Military Police headquarters, Levi." Erwin sighs but finds it almost funny to see Levi desperate like this. "Endure it for one more day."

"Don't expect her to work the next day, then." Levi turns his back and heads for his carriage. "I'll wreck her as soon as we get back."

"And I thought Eren was the one who could go into heat." Erwin chuckles, mocking Levi.

Before Levi enters the carriage, he sees you tripping over your own foot, falling and dropping your belongings.
Levi blinks. You really are safer when sitting in front of his desk.

Approaching you and already taking a deep breath to scold you, he suddenly stops when he sees among your scattered belongings the book he gave you. He sighs and slowly crouches down to help you, picking up the book and handing it to you.

"Haven’t you read it yet?"

"Ah, yeah…" You're not sure whether to look at him or not. You take the book and gather your other things. "But I like carrying it with me."

Drowned in guilt and frustration, Levi averts his eyes and turns his face away.

Seeing Nile approaching, he suddenly stands up again. Holding your belongings, you carefully do the same, eyes fixed on Nile as well.

When Nile walks past the two of you, he gets annoyed at the identical grimaces aimed at him.

'Ugh, Erwin's folk…' He shakes his head, still on his way to speak to Erwin before the carriages depart.

Upon arriving at the HQ, all higher-ups are immediately called to a meeting at Erwin's office.

"That's what you get for using an innocent girl to handle the papers you hate the most." Says Hanji at the end of the meeting to all her colleagues, arms crossed, full of herself. "Now she knows all our confidential documents."

"You are the last person I want to hear that from, Squad Leader…" Moblit sighs.

"Now that everything is settled…" Erwin looks at his soldiers. "Dismissed."

Levi stays, waiting until the last person leaves the office.

"It's over… Right?" Levi asks, tired.

"For now." Erwin sighs with his eyes closed, not finding the will to open them again. "They'll probably try again or even use other methods. But in the near future, while the MP cadets are here to be instructed by her, we should probably keep an eye on them and make sure Eren is locked up until they leave."

You are tired from the whole day of uncomfortable travel. After almost sleeping in the shower, you go to sleep in your own room.

Chapter Text

21. Foul mouth

Eren is insanely happy that you can stay with them in the Survey Corps. He doesn't even complain when Jean sits with you guys at breakfast.

"That book is terrible…" Jean is desolated.

"Don't say anything!" Eren slams both hands on the table, startling Armin and Mikasa. "I haven't read it to the end yet!"

"You loved it, didn't you?" You smile into your own cereal, using the spoon to play with it.

"… Yeah." Jean sighs, smiling and shaking his head negatively, frustrated with himself. 

Just another hour and you can go to Levi’s office.

"I'm glad everything turned out well." Erwin says calmly, breaking the silence, still writing and not looking at you. "You did well."

"Thank you, sir." You say in a quiet serious tone, eyes focused on him.

Erwin wanted to lead that trial like he is used to doing with everything. He didn't include you in his plan, but important and dangerous questions were directed at you far more than he anticipated.
It is a good thing that Levi was pessimistic about it and gave you the hint at the last minute. It triggered your mind to work.

You know that all of the higher-ups were worried when Nile proposed bringing your family to Sina, but it wasn't like you could even consider it. Because of all of your 'enemies' in that court, the most dangerous was Erwin himself.

You got the hint when he said it would be unpleasant if you left, since you're so involved with their paperwork. It was French for 'you know too much and can't leave'. You are pretty much sure that some fatal accident would happen to you if you had been transferred to the MP.
Aware that you have shackles that keep you from leaving, you know it's not only about Levi, but the dangerous Commander in front of you as well.

Erwin is basically Ismene, the main character in your book, who manipulates even the most devious of the other characters around her.

You know Erwin will now allow you to tighten the rope around your own neck as much as you like, so it will only take one tug to kill you if he needs to. He will allow you to handle even more confidential documents and will make you even more involved with the higher-ups' matters. And from what you heard that day while eavesdropping on the conversation about the MP's request, you realized that the Commander has a lot more than a mere notion of what goes on between you and Levi.

No. That's not it.
He doesn't just know about it.
Erwin said he gave Levi the key, didn't he?
You had just arrived at the Survey Corps back then; not caring about your feelings or safety, he gave access and control over you to his best soldier just to keep the man on a leash.

The Commander SOLD you.

Levi can be scary, but just what on Earth is Erwin???

Erwin blinks slowly, looking tired.

“You’re used to taking care of this one, right?” He shows you a long report that all the higher-ups hate from the bottom of their hearts.

“Ah, sure. Lately, I’m the one handling this for all the high ranks.” You chuckle.

“Perfect. I’m counting on you, then.” Erwin yawns, gets up and goes to the couch.

Surprised, you look at the Commander lying down and almost immediately falling asleep.
You shake your head and pull the terrifying file out to you.

According to the schedule, you should go to Levi, but Hanji attacks you on the way and drags you to her office like a professional kidnapper. Except for the fact that she doesn’t intend to give you back.
Now it’s way past curfew and you’re sure Levi wants to cut your head off, but you feel exhausted and head straight to your room.

You just arrived at the HQ the day before yesterday, but it’s been months since you've visited your parents and siblings. After all that insanity, you decide to use your accumulated days off to go see your family—you can feel Levi’s eyes going all bloodied up right this moment, can’t you?

The unresolved situation with Levi, the tension of the trial, your suspicions about the Military Police and the Garrison’s cahoots… All of this makes you want to disappear for a few days.

Your tired face must look terrible because when you ask Erwin, he immediately allows you to go. In fact, you’re leaving in an hour. Yes, that’s what you heard, go get your things.
Oh, how kind and understanding of him.
That, or Erwin is having his share of fun cockblocking Levi.

Dead inside, Levi blinks slowly when you tell him about your little trip.
He’s going to cut Erwin. With these very hands, Erwin Smith…!

“Have you accumulated enough days to make such a long trip?” He asks, dragging his voice and feeling his soul wasting away.

“Ah, yeah, I have four. Taking into account half a day to go and another half to come back, I’ll still have three days to spend with them.”

Levi looks down and frowns, quiet and thoughtful.
You know him very well now to understand that he would like you to spare a day off to visit him during the day.

"Hm… But maybe two days will be enough. We can’t afford to create an opening for the Military Police now that we know they’re keeping an eye on us." You look at him and his expression changes immediately. Levi hums and averts his eyes, looking more content.

Trying to tolerate Jean as he heads to the mess hall, Eren sees you and Levi walking side by side leisurely, talking while Levi carries what appears to be your bag under his arm.
What a weird mood, it makes Eren’s insides burn. He pouts immediately.

“Ah, sir. My hometown has a porcelain shop, so I’ve been thinking about buying a mug.” You say and look at him, who is silently enjoying your enthusiasm. “I’ll get you one, too, though it's not fancy or anything. It won't match the high-quality ware the headquarters has.”

Eren is attentive to how Levi is going to respond.

“Whatever." Levi says, trying to sound indifferent, but his expression is tame.

You smile.
Eren doesn't like it.

“Oi, Eren. Don’t stare like that or you’re gonna get yelled at.” Jean whispers as you and Levi pass them.

“You saw how they’re talking to each other, right?” Eren whispers back when sure you are far enough.

“What are you talking about? They work together every day, of course, they’ll have things to talk about.”

“He’s carrying her bag.”

“Yes, Yeager, there’s no courtesy in the world, everyone is an insensitive animal like you.”

“She’ll bring him a mug.”

“She's his subordinate and is going to bring him a travel gift. It's called politeness."

"They're walking together, shoulder to shoulder! Do you have to walk that close to talk?"

"Ugh, I'll tell them not to forget the smoke signals next time, all right? Now keep walking, I’m starving."

My God, why is the number of people inside your house increasing at such an alarming rate?
All right, your parents are happily married and expressing their love by bringing a lot of children into the world day and night, but why are your single sisters on the same vibe? You look at an unknown brat and aren’t sure if it’s a brother or a nephew. There are a lot of new names, so everyone is 'kid' when you need to call them.

Wait, who is this man? Is he a sister’s boyfriend? Are any of the children his? Better not to ask, but you just can’t relax at home with a male stranger walking around. Hm, you don’t know this girl, either, is she one of your brothers’ girlfriends?
An even more important question: IS SHE PREGNANT?

Mom, dad, you guys are way too chill. Have a little sense of private property, will you?

You knew you wouldn’t sleep in a room of your own back home, but you hoped to at least share it with sisters, nieces, nephews, brothers… You know, a close relative.

All right, full house, there’s nothing you can do about it, but why the hell do you have to work in the fields too? You have a fuck ton of brothers, so why does everyone expect the delicate office lady on her days off to burn in the sun? Don’t they know you joined the fucking military just to run away from it? No, you don’t like killing titans, nor wars nor bullets nor blades nor crazed superior officers.

Apparently, being a soldier makes everyone think you’re tough.
No. Nope. Nah. You’re a potato.

Hurt from such hard work, your soft tiny hands ache and bleed at the end of the day. You sigh, about to pass out. You fall on your butt and ignore all the mockery of your brothers, who are heading back home with heavy bags of food they’ve just harvested.

It’s usually tough when you visit, but somehow it got even worse. Seriously, who are those people? You spent two whole days working to feed lazy strangers.

Very well! Sitting on the ground and looking up at the bright moon, you decide with twitching, maniac eyes and an eerie smile, that you should give yourself a few days off from the countryside.

Then early in the morning, with your bag in hand and a tired smile, you hug your parents and wave to your siblings.

“I’ll keep writing to you guys every week.”

Your mother tilts her head in confusion, but you don’t notice it, already jumping into the carriage.

Exhausted, you finally arrive at the headquarters. The dark circles under your eyes should be enough to alert everyone to stay away from you, but apparently the Survey Corps cadets have no fear. Brave soldiers!
Being greeted by the brats, you chat with Eren, Jean and Armin, not even making it across the main hall yet.
You hear heavy footsteps and someone grabs you by the collar.

“Office, now.” Levi drags you down the main hall like a caveman, making you trip as you walk and forcing you to lean down since he’s shorter. He turns his head to look at you. “Your days off are terrible for my paperwork.”

Still dragging you along, he notices your injured hands. Levi immediately understands what you went through on your ‘days off’. Knowing you, he’s sure you’re relieved to be back at the HQ. He scoffs.

“Being punished to suck my dick doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?”

“I’m so tired I won’t even bother getting mad at you.”

Hanji's head pops out of her office with wide eyes, believing she heard your voice.

"Awooo, she's back!" She howls like a wolf and raises her arms in the air.

All the higher-ups' doors open and they eagerly peek outside, then immediately shake their fist in celebration, whistle and hug each other.

"S-Seriously, do you guys hate paperwork this much?" You ask Levi, shocked.

"You have no idea."

In Levi's office, he sits down and opens his hand at you.
Confused, you hesitantly place your hand in his. He pushes it away and gestures for you to give him something.

"Ahh, right." You rummage through your bag, pulling out his gift wrapped in a thick brown paper. You give it a kiss before handing it to him.

He frowns and turns his face away, resting it in his hand—the other one still open to receive the package. You giggle.
Opening it, he rotates the mug in his hand to look at its design, focused and surprised that it is of better quality than he expected.

"Sir, look." You put yours next to your face and smile. "We match!"

Looking at it blankly, Levi almost lets the mug slip through his fingers.

You laugh and gently take it from his hand, placing the identical mugs side by side on his desk, so the two of you can look at them while you work.

Quiet hours pass, but isn't Levi looking at them too much?

You write to your parents, telling them you've arrived safely. When going back to your room, you think about your family and decide to send them a little more money, as your parents are supporting a whole lot of people now. Your lazy sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law don’t deserve it, but your dear parents do.

Already late for Hanji’s appointment, you go to the mail room again.

Huh?

Where’s your letter?

You look around the rack and inside the other compartments. Scratching your head in confusion, you suddenly remember you’re late and run to Hanji’s office.

It’s night. You and the other cadets are drinking after curfew. You never learn, do you?

At first, you turned them down when they asked you to join them, but lately you have been so tired and upset that you accepted when they insisted. Once in a while it won’t hurt, right?

Wrong.

You’re not used to drinking, so you get completely wasted after a few cups. Eren is just as bad as you, although he's sunk into the couch, completely delusional, talking and laughing to himself.

Reiner has been talking shit nonstop—you barely register anything he says now—, differently from Beltolt, who’s terribly quiet, almost as though he’s watching himself not to say anything unnecessary. But it’s all for naught:

“Reiner, you’re too drunk.” Connie drags his voice. “You’re not a titan, you idiot.”

“Yes, I am.” Reiner says, slurring all his words. “I’m a titan shifter, all right, like Eren and all. And we’re here on a mission.”

“Drunkass.” Shaking his head, Jean scoffs and raises the glass to his mouth, looking like the least drunk of you all.

The six of you sit in the common room like nothing could ever happen to you, so ridiculously drunk you are.

“Guys, we should go to sleep.” Jean looks at the time. “Especially you, young lady, you’re all wobbly.”

You look around, confused.

“Where’s my room?”

“Worry not.” Reiner stands in front of you and offers a hand, while the other points towards the boys’ dormitory. “I’ll take you there.”

Connie bursts out laughing, but Jean sighs and gets up to stop Reiner from doing anything stupid.
Before anything happens and your hand is about to touch Reiner’s, a husky voice as sharp as a knife cuts through the air:

“Eager to lose a hand, huh.” Levi threatens, unable to maintain his indifferent behavior.

You guys were making noise in the common room. Obviously, you would be found. Jesus.

Reiner immediately pulls his hand back, completely shocked that Levi is there. You can’t stand up and fall on your butt.

“Where do I start off,” Levi growls through clenched teeth. “the part about drinking after curfew or the one that involves a group of men getting a girl drunk?” He cracks his knuckles. The boys gulp. "Prepare yourselves. And you…!" He pulls you up by your elbow. "Stupid girls get double punishment. You’re on cleaning chores for a month, cadet. Arrived a few hours ago and is already causing me trouble…"

"Is that Corporal Levi…?" Your weak voice is cute, but all your words are a bit slurred. Your hand touches his face, trying to make sure it's him.

He evades it, but you touch his face anyway. He rolls his eyes in annoyance.

"It's really you, sir." You give a stupid smile, looking happy. You pull him by the cravat, going in for a kiss.

Sharp reflexes; Levi holds your face and pushes it away.

The boys jump in their seats. You just tried to kiss the scariest boss in the Survey Corps.
Just how dangerous can alcohol be to women??? You weren’t behaving like that so far.

Levi's heart had just skipped a beat. This is bad. If you're that unpredictable when drunk, he has to get you out of there as fast as possible before you say something dangerous in front of them.

"Behave, cadet. Now come," He scolds you, trying to get you to walk properly but your legs give out and you fall. Levi catches you, and you immediately hug him tightly.

"Sir, are we going to your room?" You ask softly. "Good, let's fuck."

Levi's shoulders jolt and his stomach twists, but not as much as the boys'. In a feminine gesture, Reiner covers his mouth in shock and Jean's eyes are about to pop out of the sockets.
Eren, who was mumbling nonsense a minute ago, is now strangely serious and quiet, focused on you and on your antics.

As no one is talking, you start unbuttoning Levi's shirt.
It takes Levi a moment to react.

"W… Shut up, you drunkard!" Levi aggressively shakes you once by the collar, causing you to release the third button, still intact. "Thank the heavens you're just a woman, otherwise I'd beat you to death." He growls through clenched teeth, half sincere about what he just said. "Now come QUIETLY to your room before I change my mind about the beating. And you," He directs his bloody eyes to the blushing cadets. "What are you waiting for? MOV—"

You kiss him on the cheek. And it's not a simple kiss, it's a long, heavy one with a nice loud sound when you pull away.
As he breathes in to roar at you, you feel around his crotch to figure out how to open his pants.

"Sir, take your dick out…" Having trouble unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, you become irritated by such complicated mechanisms of genital concealment. "I wanna suck it."

Ah, shit.

Bertolt crouches, holding his head with both hands and trembling from head to toe. That's it, that's the end. He's never going back to his hometown.
Reiner swallows hard, feeling like his lower half is about to explode.

With a blank mind and lost, bloody eyes, Levi holds you by the collar, slowly raising his clenched fist in the air.

"Sir, wait!!" Jean gasps. "Don't do it, please! She's so absurdly drunk even we don't recognize her right now! It's not her fault… I think." He bites down on his own teeth, pondering sincerely before talking. "If anything, it’s our fault. We'll receive her punishment as well."

Levi looks at Jean for a moment, then sighs heavily.

"At 7 AM sharp—that is, in five hours—, all of you in front of my office. Understood?"

"Yes, sir!" They say in unison, standing straight and saluting him.

You have just succeeded in unzipping Levi's white pants when he suddenly picks you up and throws you over his shoulder, holding you by your legs.

"Aaah, I don't feel so good…" You complain in a weak voice after being shaken so heavily.

"Throw up on me. I dare you." Levi's husky voice threatens you, making you cover your mouth with both hands to make sure nothing comes out.

With one last fierce glare from the Corporal, the cadets understand that they must return to their dorms immediately. Right now, not even Levi's open fly makes him any less scary.

"You heard him, come on." Jean pats Eren on the shoulder, then pulls his arm to get him to his feet, since the titan shifter doesn't intend to move. "What's wrong, Eren? You were laughing to yourself a moment ago, what's with that face? If you're going to throw up, do it outside."

Standing up, though still unable to open his eyes more than halfway, Eren stares at the man taking you away with him.
Finding it odd that Eren is so quiet and so serious, Jean takes one last look at Levi, trying to understand Eren's concern. After seeing your upside-down figure happily fondling and patting the Corporal's butt as he walks, Jean shakes his head and turns his ankle to leave, dragging Eren with him.

Levi throws you onto his bed, straddling you menacingly.

"Now, about you…" He tosses his cravat aside. You already opened two of his buttons before, so his collarbone is now perfectly visible. "I don't even know where to start off…" He snarls from above.

You meekly open your mouth, sticking your tongue out and waiting for him to insert himself.

"Yeah, right. As you are right now, you'd throw up immediately." He gives your jaw a very light slap, indicating you to close your mouth. You comply.

"I wanted to suck it…" You whine.

"Aren't you foul-mouthed today? I've never seen you saying shit like that before." He narrows his eyes, remembering you saying such atrocious things in front of the cadets. In front of Eren. It sends delicious shivers down his spine. "Are you so weak to alcohol that it makes you say everything you think so blatantly? So shamefully and unrestrained…" Levi leans down to kiss your ear repeatedly. "What did you say before? You want to…" He grazes his lips over your ear as he whispers softly. "Fuck?"

You visibly shudder under him, which makes his breath tremble as he struggles to control himself.
Levi holds you still by pressing his hand to your chest.

“Beg.” He breathes.

Not only because he’s stupidly horny, but also angry as fuck since you made him go through so much in front of the cadets.

“What?” You ask in a frustrated moan. “I don’t wanna.”

“Very well… Then get out of my room.”

“Nooo~ Stop it!” You start struggling on his bed, purposely taking your own pants off while doing it.

“Out.”

“Stop it, you jerk!” You slur your words as you smack him on the shoulder in anger—barely making him move, so out of strength you are. “How annoying! Just shove this damn dick in at once!”

Levi’s brows go up, incredulous.
Upset at the torture, you grab Levi's collar and throw him on the bed. Shocked, he immediately sits up and you straddle him, already engulfing him in heat. Levi throws his head back at the sensation and lands on his back.

“Ahh, big, big… It hurts…!” You complain.

With his eyes squeezed shut, he blindly reaches for your shoulder to push you away, so you start thrusting at a steady pace. His breath trembles.
Watching your flushed face show pain and pleasure, his fluttering eyelids close again. Levi decides he can’t win against you right now.

“Do it slowly.” He orders under his breath.

It takes you a while to understand, but you stop and do as he says.
He breathes loudly; you’re going slowly as he told you, but your hips are hitting him hard, making him hold his breath on each impact to keep from grunting.
You’re finally doing it again after so long, he really doesn’t want it to end so soon. However, precisely for this reason, the Corporal feels he won’t last much longer.
Two rounds. Definitely two rounds. And if you whine about it, he’ll make it three. Levi won’t let you leave that bed before he is finally spent.
He rests his hand on your leg as you assault him. Damn, he’s too close. But he won’t accept coming just yet…

“Slower.” He grunts. “Hey, I told you to slow down, stop increasing the speed.”

“I can’t…” You clumsily tuck the hair on your face behind your ear. “I can’t stop and I can’t go any slower.” Laughing weakly while having trouble breathing, you look at him. “It’s bigger than usual today. You always get all hard when angry, don’t you?”

“Shut it.”

“Sir…” You whine at him with half-lidded eyes. “I want you to come inside.”

Levi freezes in place.

You want what? No, you can’t be ser—Are you insane?
He swallows hard. And sadly enough, Levi feels himself betraying his logical reasoning as he becomes even harder inside you. Ugh, little traitor.

Worried about how serious you are about it and how unpredictable you become when drunk, he holds your hips and pulls out.
You let out a whining moan as a complaint, but the Corporal won’t fall for it.

Levi has been starving since the trial, so he's all fired up—which makes everything seem too tempting, but he can’t just go insane and cater to your dangerous whims.
Due to your shitty stamina, the second round is on him anyway; he only has to go hard and tire you out during the first one, so you’re more unlikely to do any daring shit later.
Levi has to guarantee he comes outside, so almost as if you were fighting, he forces you to lie on your stomach.

You don't have time to say anything before he enters you from behind. One hand on your back, forcing you against his bed, while the other one holds your hips in place.
Your mouth seems unable to close, choking on a loud whimper. You grip the mattress’ edge in front of you, sinking your nails into it when Levi starts thrusting roughly at a hurried pace.
He's hitting a very good spot; you shamelessly moan so loud, Levi almost becomes worried that others will hear you. Almost.

"You know what to do." Highly concentrated on you and very close to his own limit, his tongue presses against his lateral upper teeth.

After a few more thrusts you can't suppress it anymore; you come hard, whining his name aloud as the climax sensation floods your body.
Hearing his name leaving your mouth while your walls squeeze him feels like a dream to Levi. He pulls out just in time, groaning in delight as he stains your leg.

You’re usually very quiet when it comes to doing this sort of thing, but thanks to the alcohol you’re a lot noisier tonight, so the man is having the time of his life.
It might be a bad night for many, but for Levi it's fucking Christmas.

And he is far from done.

In the morning, the cadets are lined up in front of Levi's office, but the Corporal isn’t there.
Yawning loudly and unconcerned about the time, Levi arrives late due to his night activities.
It’s almost as if Levi is doing all this on purpose. Is he sending them a message? Eren squints at him.
Upon entering Levi’s office, the boys are tense but Eren is quiet and thoughtful.

22. Despair

Levi enters his room.

“What is the meaning of this?” His eye twitches.

Lining up your books on his desk, you blink at him with a tense smile.

“I ran out of space…?”

“It means it’s time to STOP buying them.” Levi growls. “As today is your day off, I left the door unlocked so you could wait for me here, not stuff my room with your shit.”

“But I ran out of space…!” You try again and he grabs you by the collar.

“Store them in the library, then.”

“What? No way, everyone will take them! I’m really jealous of my things.”

“Take them back to your room.” His bloodied eyes are about to pop out of their sockets.

“You keep my clothes here, why can’t I bring some books, too?”

“Clothes are one thing because you bathe and sleep here, but b—Why is even my nightstand full of them???”

“You ran out of space…?”

His other hand grabs your collar as well.

“But siiir~” You slowly run your fingertip in circles on the back of his hand. “Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time here… If I have books to read, I might stay even longer…?” Tilting your head, you blink charmingly twice. “No one will ever enter your room anyway.”

Completely defeated, Levi lets go of your collar and snarls at you.

“My break is short. Strip.”

You giggle and kiss the tip of his nose.

❖

On an afternoon break, you’re leisurely reading a book under a tree, enjoying the pleasant weather. You’re sleepy and it’s hard to stay awake.
A shadow approaches and shields you from the sun.

"Is that about another psychopath main character who deceives everyone?"

You look up, smiling at the Corporal trying hard not to look interested in you.

“No, the female lead is awfully kind.”

“You bought that one?”

“Yep! I loved the pink cover.”

“Where are you heading next?”

“Mike, and then Nanaba. Ah, and Hanji before dinner.” You count on your fingers and yawn, terribly sleepy.

Levi is thoughtful.

“Stop doing that.”

“Hm? Doing what?”

“Pulling an all-nighter for nothing.” He crosses his arms and leans against the tree. “That report on my desk… You finished it overnight.”

“Ah, that. I got up at night to go to the bathroom and since I was awake anyway, I took care of it.” You smile tightly. “You hate that kind of report, don’t you? I saw you working on it before you went to bed, so I wanted to free you from that.”

“Work during the day, idiot.” He grabs your cheek and squeezes it painfully, making you laugh and complain while trying to push his hand away. “I scolded you this morning because you weren’t waking up.”

“What, are you feeling guilty?” You tease him when finally free from his grip.

“I’m not.” He frowns. “If you’re sleeping in my room, stay in bed.”

You laugh.

From a distance, Eren—who was supposed to be training—silently watches the two of you making conversation. He can't hear anything, but you seem to be having a lot of fun talking to the Corporal, which makes the boy bite his lower lip.

“Come on, Eren, I’m starting to feel sorry for you.” Jean sighs, actually half sincere about it. “Stop with these theories of yours, the woman is engaged.”

“I didn’t say anything, horseface.” Eren says calmly, distracted, barely putting any emphasis on the insult.

“Yeah, you don’t even have to. It’s, like, all over your face.”

When seeing you get up and go back inside with Levi, Eren leaves Jean behind and runs after you.

He follows you from a distance, seeing you two walking calmly while you talk nonstop, gesturing with the book in your hand. If Eren knows you well enough, it looks like you're telling the Corporal about the story you're reading.

Jean told Eren before that you and the Corporal must have things to talk about since you work together every day. Even though Levi is the boss, due to your role, you are almost co-workers. Eren knows this. He knows. But…
The man nearly bites Eren's head off every time he tries to make conversation. And yet… Is the scary Corporal Levi quietly and patiently listening to you tell him about a fiction book?
You're very close, huh.

Still following you, Eren finally realizes that Levi is escorting you to Mike's office.

Eren noticed before that even Levi takes it easy on female cadets. Despite yelling at everyone equally, he doesn't hit them like he does with the boys, for example. But these gentle gestures Eren eventually sees him doing to you… They feel… Off.

After you wave Levi goodbye and close Mike’s door, Levi decides to put aside the remaining time of his break, heading back to his office. Eren returns to the training ground.

The Corporal is extremely upset to have been followed around by Eren. You probably didn’t notice the boy, but Levi can almost detect Eren’s greedy glare by now; it’d be impossible for him not to notice Eren following you.

The way the brat stares rubs Levi the wrong way.

Levi is tired of warning and ordering you to stay away from Eren. But you stick to the kid even when Levi punishes you. Just this morning you were having breakfast with Eren. How annoying, you just never listen.

Eren poses a threat not only because of his heat and for having feelings for you, but also because of his unpredictable behavior when triggered by despair. It’s not the first time Levi has caught a glimpse of Eren staring at the two of you with evident jealousy.

A kiss on the cheek, a kiss on the lips, two attempts of rape. All of that followed by pathetic whining to melt your stupid heart.

What else is in store, just waiting for Eren to lose control again?

The Corporal closes his office door and runs a hand heavily over his face. Ahh, this is bad, he is feeling tense and restless; he knows very well this painful tightness in his chest.
Just like Eren, the man knows he tends to do extreme things when feeling cornered. If Eren keeps putting pressure on him, Levi might do something stupid.

"Sir, I—"

"Silence." He whispers, unexpectedly softly.

"You're hurting me…"

His free hand grabs your face, forcing you to look at him. 

"Stop struggling."

Hesitating for a moment, you do as he says and stay still, relaxing your body and looking him in the eye.
His expression softens and he lets go of the painful grip on your arm. You’re still pressed heavily against the mattress, though.

You expect him to do something next, but nothing is said or done. He is silently looking at you, taking in every little detail of your face. You're both breathing regularly now, and you go from scared to confused, though you don't dare move an inch.
The furious expression on his face disappeared, now looking relaxed and calm. It's been a long time since you last saw him at ease like this. 
He gently caresses your cheek with the knuckle of his index finger. 

"Why can't it always be like this?" He asks in a sigh. 

You don't even dare blink, still trying to figure out the reason behind it all.

"The world is going crazy outside this room, but if you stay here nothing bad will ever reach you. It'd be like this, right now…" He gives a long kiss behind you ear. "Why do you insist on ignoring what I order you and doing whatever you want? Is it just to piss me off? Do you like that damn brat so much?"

Ah, of course. Eren.

You take a deep breath and push Levi away, causing him to kneel on the bed. You sit up immediately, hands on his chest—directly, thanks to his open shirt—to keep him in place.

"That time… You hit me."

Huh? Is that why you insistently keep contact with Eren? Ugh, women are so complicated. Levi's confused face slowly turns into a frown.

"Yes, I did." He answers calmly, not a single trace of guilt in his tone. It irritates you. "Your point is…?"

"And not only did you hit me a lot, but also made me to—You forced me…! That was… Awful…"

"It wasn't supposed to be good, neither for you nor for me. I was disciplining you." He leans over and nuzzles your neck, intending to make you lie down.            

You shove him again.

"I'm not a dog!" You say through gritted teeth.

"Of course, you aren't. A dog would have learned already."

Ignoring your shocked face, he leans over again and you instinctively lean back to avoid contact, the tips of your noses almost touching as he speaks in a low, sultry voice.

"Then I'm going to tell you now, clearly, directly, explicitly, so you have to be extremely stupid to not understand."

Although you think you're used to having him so close to you, something is somehow making your heart beat faster than it should.

"You, cadet," He grabs your collar with one hand and pulls you closer to him, letting his lips purposely bruise against yours as he speaks. "body and soul, entirely, belong to me. Everything in you is mine. And I don't share."

He releases your shirt, letting you fall back onto the mattress again. He’s immediately on top of you. 
You jump in surprise when he grabs your clothed crotch.

"This," He tightens the grip on you, feeling the heat over the cloth. "belongs to me." Calmly, he kisses over it very lightly. 

His hand goes up to your chest, resting between your breasts.

"So does this." He moves to your chest and plants a kiss on it, right over the heart.

You don't have the time to remember how to breathe again before his hands hold your face.

"And this." Your lips are united in a deeper, unrushed kiss, making it impossible for you to keep your eyes open. 

Everything is sweet and humiliating at the same time. 
He always does things like that. It makes it impossible to push him away a third time.
When he breaks the kiss, you feel his hand go to your clothed thigh, caressing its inner side.

"You do as I say and everything ends well. You disobey and get punished. It's not hard to understand, I don't know why you always fuck things up so much." He gently gives you a chaste kiss, looking at you again. "Doesn't it feel good? When I treat you like this and do the things you want?" He goes to your ear, softly kissing it multiple times. "The only thing I want in return is for you to be mine and mine alone. You won't talk to others so casually or let them touch you, because all this is mine. You don't need anything or anyone else, I'll give you everything." He looks at you and sighs, disappointed. "Why are you looking at me like that? Wasn't it you who once wanted me to tell you what to do to make things right? Make up your mind, brat…"

To remind you of what you told him inside that cramped broom closet… Bastard.
Unbuttoning your pants, his left hand reaches the inside of your panties, caressing your skin. You flinch at the contact.
His face is still almost touching yours.

"… So, if I say 'no' to… This, will you hit me again, then?" You ask hesitantly, wanting him to understand you’re angry. Your body jerks upwards when his finger enters you. 

"Although you deserve it, no. Not to this, no." He whispers into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. "I can manage your tantrums when it comes to this."

Focused, Levi licks his own lips, watching your face while his fingers work inside you. Every little reaction seems to affect him.

"That situation you resent so much will only happen again if you keep being careless." Knowing very well where to push and rub inside your body, his fingers increase the intensity of the touch at a certain spot, making you squirm and close your legs in agony. "Behave and you know I'll do whatever you want." His whispered voice, hoarse with arousal, is shaking and his breath is faltering as his fingers make you throw your head back. "Say it. What do you want?"

You hold his wrist, making him stop moving his hand as your free arm goes around his neck, locking his face to look at you. 

"You." You say, breathing heavily, half-lidded eyes. "If my life is going to be hell, then I want you all for myself." 

His eyes widen.
He suddenly pushes your hand away, removes your pants in a hurried desperation and resumes his earlier caresses, which are now much more comfortable for both of you. 

"You're going to come in my hand. Now." His husky voice commands, bringing your hand to his hair.

You allow yourself to be lost in his care, closing your eyes and opening you mouth to gasp for air. After a few moments, unable to take it any longer, your body jerks upwards, squeezing and wetting Levi's fingers. Levi watches every second of it with maniac eyes, focused on your face, sounds and reactions. 

Under his obsessive eyes, your entire existence had become dazzling enough to gradually steal his sleep, appetite and self-control, to the point where he now feels both aggressor and hostage. 

It's sweet. It's humiliating. It's satisfying and frustrating at the same time.
When the last waves of pleasure hit your body, you collapse on the bed and space away. You can hear his long, trembling sigh.

"You really can be good when you want to, can't you?" He gives your forehead a long kiss. 

With your eyes still closed, you hear the familiar sound of his zipper opening.
When you open your eyes, he's kneeling over you, adjusting his legs on either side of your head.
You blink slowly, still numb from bliss. 

"Show me how serious you were when you said you want me." His fingertips caress your lips. 

You open your mouth lazily, sticking out your tongue.
Levi scoffs. If you didn't know the man, you'd swear that was an attempt to laugh.
Already used to your low stamina and knowing he is the one who will have to move, Levi holds your head and lowers his hips. He hisses as it slides inside your mouth, being rubbed by your tongue along the way. 

Holding his thighs, you try to relax your throat and then shift your head, allowing him to go in deeper.
Upon hearing and feeling your gag reflex, he stops sinking into your mouth, memorizing until where he can go.
The wet sounds of the calm, slow thrusts into your mouth are covered by both of your heavy breaths.
Even though he is the one moving, your tongue is taking action and your occasional sucks steal delicious groans from his throat. He is too into it to worry about his own sounds.

You're feeling suffocated but the view above you is more breathtaking than anything else.
Levi must think the same of you, because his never averting eyes, though half-lidded, barely blink, afraid to miss a second of the sight below him. 

Everything about this man is so enthralling; the slow, sensual roll of his hips almost makes you forget the discomfort of having your throat assaulted. The flexing muscles of his stomach are extremely distracting, but the thing that always steals your attention the most is his face; it's usually cold, calm and expressionless, but at times like this you can witness your stoic superior officer all messed up; flushed face, disheveled hair and half-lidded eyes, breathing hard through parted lips as he looks straight at you. 

Even if it's not for the better, today he's more talkative and receptive.
And like a switch, something flips inside you.
With both hands on his hips, you push him away, already kneeling on the bed and wiping your mouth with your sleeve. 

"Idiot, I'm almost—"

"I'm the one who chooses how you're going to finish." You push his shoulders down, forcing him to lie on his back. 

Seeing you adjust above him, he tries to stop you.

"Don't you dare." He warns you.

"Aren't you the one who'll give me everything?"

"You won’t order me around, you hear me?"

"I'll make sure you like it." You deadpan.

"Don’t. You. Dare. I'm ordering y—"

Levi's voice disappears as you quickly lower your hips, swallowing him whole until your bodies touch. 
You take a deep breath to finally be able to speak again.

"I'll have whatever I want from you." One of your hands goes to his chest for balance. You slowly pull back until the tip, only to sink again at once, robbing him of a loud gasp. "And if you say 'no' to me… I'll simply let the Commander hang me. I just can't care anymore…" 

Though every heavy roll of your hips on his is driving him insane, Levi becomes tense and worried at your statement.

"Don't be stupid." He gasps.

You grab the collar of his open shirt, pulling him to your face.

"If you ever hit me again…" The thrusts are demanding too much of you, but you make sure to look him in the eye. "I'll make sure that… It'll be my last day in this world." You give a short laugh through your nose, so out of your mind you are right now. "So, yes; kiss you, hurt you, ride you and mess you up… I, too, will do whatever I want with you."

Levi has seen you upset before, but it’s the first time it has ever occurred to him that you’re insane, crazy, nuts. You must be making a very disturbing face, because Levi’s wide eyes aren’t even blinking. The only sounds he's making are the chocked grunts in his throat each time you thrust roughly against his hips.

He's the one who needs you. 
And if he corners you, you'll bite him.

Under you, Levi clicks his tongue at your nonsense. Irritation is mixed with the feeling of frustration at having his pride crushed over and over again.

He hates it.
And yet, somehow, it feels… Good.

"I'll be yours, Levi… I already am… So…"

Defeated, almost at his limit and with his head going blank, Levi grabs your hips, squeezing his eyes shut. 

"Almost…!" He gasps. "Harder…"

Not believing your own ears, you hesitate for a moment before doing what he demands. 
His labored breathing disappears as his head is thrown back and his body spasms violently beneath you. 
You make sure to press firmly your hips together, so you are still linked to each other.

For the first time ever, you can feel the hot liquid spurting hard inside you as his nails scrape painfully along the sides of your hips. His hips give a few strong spasms before a loud sigh of relief escapes his mouth, and his weight drops heavily back onto the bed.

You peek at his face, which now is totally lost in post-orgasm bliss. 
From his general condition, body still eventually spasming, he just had a really intense high, making you wonder what could be the reason why a person with weird tastes like Levi to claim to dislike having a woman on top of him. 

Coming back to his senses, Levi immediately sits up, startled to still being linked to the woman sitting on his lap. 
He grabs your arms. 

"You didn't pull out, you—" The Corporal swallows back an offensive word. He holds your hips and slowly pulls out, trying to minimize the after-bliss sensitivity. "The last thing we need now is to get you pregnant."

But Levi’s expression doesn’t make it clear if he's actually upset.
The sensation is weird. You made him feel good and now the proof is deep inside you. It makes your stomach run cold, and yet, you feel proud. 

No. It's rather… Touching. 

"It's the first time…" You say in a quiet, shaky tone, getting his attention. His eyes are confused by the strange smile forming on your lips. "It's the first time someone came inside…"

Levi's eyes widen and his mouth drops open, his breathing immediately becoming ragged again. You really know how to flatter him by now, don't you?

"I can't run away now, can I?" You look at him with a frustrated smile, clutching at the shirt over your own chest. "There’s no way I can leave after you marked me like this… You wanted me to do it on my own, didn't you?"

Levi has a very dangerous expression on his face. His icy eyes can’t look away from you. 
There's something mischievous and unhealthy within him that has been nurtured and caressed by you from the start. And although you don't want to be restrained and controlled, you don't intend to let this thing inside him die anytime soon. 

Inside you there's fear and hate, but also greed and desire. You don't recognize yourself anymore. Meeting Levi made you realize that you're extremely selfish and hypocritical. 
Having this proud, dangerous man eating out of your hand—although he sometimes bites—gives you a satisfaction no words can describe. To think that humanity’s strongest soldier is becoming so emotionally dependent on you, to the point of letting you do whatever you want to him…
Sincerely loving him was good enough. But messing him up and controlling him, seeing his weak side, gives you a very intense feeling of comfort, power and security that you never knew you could feel.

Right now, the astonished man before you is going insane at the thought of having marked you in such an intimate way no one has ever done.
The illusion of control and possession tastes really sweet for both of you.

You open your mouth to speak, but Levi's covers yours.
You're pushed down by his weight on you, and you slowly fall back onto the mattress, never breaking the kiss.
The kiss is soft, slow and loving. His hand caresses your jaw and goes to your nape, stroking it with his fingertips. His weight on you is light, seeming more to maintain physical contact than to give him balance and comfort.
He breaks the kiss only to calmly chaste kiss your lips a few times before deepening it again.

The always rude and violent man is now kissing you in such a delicate way that it makes you feel robbed. 
And maybe you are.

Your hands gently stroke his hair and he hums in approval. The kiss becomes wet and loud. It's intimate, slow and warm. 
It feels exquisite. 

With a loud sound, he breaks the kiss and looks at you with the most endearing eyes you have ever seen. 
His always expressionless face is now relaxed, soft and focused on you.
He could spend hours just lying with you, looking at you. Watching you.
Preying on you. 
You love him so much. When he's gentle and shows concern, you feel loved. It warms you.
It scares you. 
You're chained there. The only way to leave the Survey Corps is to die and you won't forget that. 
The man above you right now, pinning you to the mattress, won't let you belong to yourself ever again. 

Ignoring the painful pounding inside your chest, the mixture of fear, greed and desire smothering you, you lift a trembling hand and let the back of your index finger slide from his cheek to his ear, a faint smile hesitantly forming on your lips.

"Brat, wake up." Levi calls you with a tired tone. 

You slowly turn your face to look at him, your eyes barely open.
It's already morning and you feel weird. Something hurts, but you are too sleepy to exactly spot it.
You slept looking at each other in silence, enjoying the intimate closeness. His relaxed face with his eyes almost closed looking at you is the last thing you remember seeing last night.

"Get out of bed, I have to change the sheets and clean up."

"Why…?" You ask in a weak voice, trying to focus your vision. He had already changed the sheets before you went to sleep. 

He sighs. 

"Because it looks like half of you was bitten off by a damn titan." 

Your eyes pop open and you look down, seeing his perfectly white sheets dyed a deep red. 
Startled, you jump out of bed.

"I'm sor—"

"Hurry to the shower." He says with his classic bored face, but his tone isn't angry. 

"I'm sorry…" You say while drying your hair with a towel, sitting next to him on the bed.

"Was it too harsh?" He asks, tucking your wet hair behind your ear. "Last night." His lips place a soft kiss on your ear.

"I… I don't think it's because of that." You fidget, trying to explain. "It's earlier than expected, I mean, this month." You hold back a pained grunt. The cramps have already started and it looks like it will be a very painful week for you.

Levi sighs softly through his nose and hums before planting another kiss on the shell of your ear.

"I'll tell Erwin you're not feeling well. Rest for today."

You get up to head to your room but your arm is grabbed.

"I meant here." 

23. Shermike Holmes

Mike loves warm days.
The sky is clear and the air is pleasant, bringing the fresh scent of grass. Strolling through the training ground on a warm morning is the best.
While walking, Mike notices that his usual morning stroll buddy—that delicate secretary—isn't there.

Hm. Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't remember seeing you lately. According to the schedule, you had an appointment with him a few days ago, but you didn't show up. When that happens, it's usually because Hanji dragged you into her office and didn't let you go. But even in this case Mike still sees you walking around the HQ to eat and go to the bathroom.

"Have you seen the secretary girl?" He asks Nanaba when entering her office.

"Hm? Ah, now that you mention it, she hasn't been attending our scheduled appointments. My paperwork is accumulating at an alarming rate." Nanaba grimaces at the tower of papers on her desk. "Is she stuck in Hanji's office, I wonder?"

Mike hums, thoughtful.

"Huh?" Jean tilts his head in confusion and looks around the common room. "Oh, yeah, you're right. I haven't seen her in a while. Eren, you're always wagging your tail around her, when was the last time you talked?"

"Shut up, Jean…" The boy mumbles and frowns, cheeks all flushed. He averts his eyes, looking upset. "I can't remember, but it was a few days ago."

"You sure she wasn't kidnapped by Hanji…?" Jean shrugs at Mike.

"Missing, you say?" Erwin rests his face on a hand, fountain pen between his fingers.

"I can't find her anywhere." Mike crosses his arms. "No one seems to remember exactly the last interaction with her. I knocked on her door, but no response. She has a room of her own, so there are no roommates to interrogate."

"Interrogate…?" Erwin chuckles lightly at it, distractedly signing a paper and putting it away. "Hmm… Are you sure she's not just showering right now?"

"Yeah, I checked the public bathrooms."

"So that is why I heard girls screaming."

"Aren't you concerned about what might have happened to her?" Mike frowns.

"Of course, I am. Especially if it strongly implies that she may have deserted from the headquarters, or is still trying." Erwin opens the drawer, casually taking out a handgun and concealing it under his jacket. Mike widens his eyes at it, but Erwin brushes it off with a bright smile. "Let's go find that naughty girl."

Mike sighs quietly, more relieved now that the Commander himself has joined this quest.

"You're certain she isn't just at Hanji's office, right?" Erwin asks while they cross a corridor.

Mike growls. He really doesn't want to go there, it smells weird.

"Do you have any idea of where to start off?"

"To be honest, I do." Mike admits, tense. “And that’s why I need you with me.”

"I don't know, why are you asking me?" Levi crosses his arms, leaning back in his chair.

Erwin and his dog in Levi’s office is usually bad news. The Corporal frowns.

"You, Hanji and the Commander are the ones she assists the most." Mike answers calmly. "When was the last time you saw her?"

"At the mess hall a few days ago." Levi stops and puts a hand to his chin. "No, during an appointment?"

Why do you make such a weak impression on people? Ugh.

"Tell me you knocked on her door before you came here." Levi blinks slowly at Mike, who is now looking out the window.

"Oh, good idea, we can try again." Erwin suggests.

Lined up in front of your room, the trio look at each other.

"Help yourself." Erwin points to the door with an open hand.

As Mike knocks insistently, Erwin looks at Levi with a sly smile, discreetly opening his hand to the man.
The Corporal snarls, hesitatingly handing him your room key.

"See? Not a single noise." Mike tries to hear something, ear on the door.

"We have no other choice, then." Erwin unlocks your room with the key.

Mike is shocked, looking at Erwin with inquiring eyes.

"As the Commander, I have a master key. Please keep it a secret." Erwin smiles at Mike as he tucks the key into his jacket pocket—and behind them, Levi rolls his eyes in annoyance.

In your room, everything seems to be in place. Looks like you did what you do every day: quickly organized things before leaving for work.

As expected, you have many books carefully lined up on your desk, but there are so many of them there that you probably don’t even use the desk to work anymore—several lines of books covering the whole thing. What’s wrong with you?
There's heavy dust on the books and on surfaces, including the bed; it's been a while since the last time you were there.

"Erwin, her drawers are full of clothes, and her travel bag is here." Mike keeps rummaging through your stuff, making Levi frown even more. "Look; her identification documents and money." He runs his finger through it. "That's a lot to merely leave behind. I think it's highly unlikely that she deserted from the Survey Corps." He says and looks out the window, which is far from any wall in the headquarters. It’d be difficult to just cross the fields and jump the thirty-meters walls.

"All right." Pretending to get rid of invisible lint, Erwin discreetly taps his jacket twice, hitting the concealed gun.

Mike sighs, tense but relieved that's not the case. He feared for your life if Erwin's hunch was confirmed.

"What now?" Erwin asks.

"What?" Levi growls at Mike, who has been staring at him for a while.

"Let us check your room."

Levi and Erwin are surprised and tense. Levi curses at Mike, offended.

"Well, if you don't have anything to hide, then there's no problem, right?" Erwin smiles kindly, mocking Levi.

"Shitty Commander…" Levi grumbles quietly as he stops in front of his room. He hesitates and stares at the door, thoughtful.

"What are you waiting for, Levi?" Mike asks, glaring at the man's nape as he stands there in silence.

Levi clears his throat and slowly puts the key in the lock, then takes it back and turns to Erwin.

"Erwin, this is very humiliating, there's no need for—"

"Let's get this over with, Levi. There are scaaary papers on my desk I need to finish on my own. To be honest, I'd feel relieved to just find her inside your room right now so I can dump those papers on her and go take a nap."

"What an honest heart." Mike blinks, unimpressed.

Levi sighs and reluctantly opens the door.

Mike steps in, looking around.
When not seeing anything suspicious, he looks under the bed.

"Seriously?" Levi rolls his eyes.

"Well, she has to be somewhere." Erwin shrugs at Levi, a light smile always on his lips.

Mike checks the bathroom and the wardrobe. 
When seeing him opening the drawer above the one where your clothes are, Levi's eyes widen.

"Hey! She is a little too big to fit in there."

The high rank looks back at Levi, closing the drawer very slowly and squinting his eyes at the Corporal.

"For fuck's sake, Erwin." Levi crosses his arms and looks at the Commander, as if asking him to do something about it.

Pretending to think, Erwin puts a hand to his mouth, hiding the devilish smile he can't contain. His shoulders shake a little.

Concentrated, Mike goes to the window, looking through it. One can't see too much of the headquarters from it, but Mike notes that both Levi's bedroom and office windows allow him to observe the field where cadets train—And related or not, also where you often walk during your breaks.

Mike is worried about you; just how many days have you been missing? How could he not notice?
He's almost sure you're alive. Despite the headquarters' size, he would most likely notice the unmistakable smell of a corpse hidden in the building or even if it was carried overnight.
Putting together what he has so far, Mike calculates about ten days since your disappearance.
He won't stop looking for you.

Mike notices two identical mugs on Levi's nightstand.
Two?

"Drinking tea with someone?" Mike asks, smelling the clean mugs and placing them back.

"Ever heard of a set?"

"What a detailed design." With both hands behind his back, Erwin leans in to look. "I said it before, but unexpectedly you have good taste, Levi."

Levi grumbles.

"No, I'm serious." Erwin looks at Levi with a malicious smirk. "They’re so exotic, where did you buy them?"

"In the city, where else would I find them?"

"Oh, do show me where that shop is."

Levi sends Erwin a death glare.

"Sure."

“Looks like you and the girl share some hobbies.” Mike runs his fingers over the books perfectly lined up on the other nightstand. “Oh, look. There are some on your desk, too, what a coincidence.”

Erwin can’t hold back and chuckles loudly.
Levi groans. That’s it; he has just scheduled for you an appointment with his blade.
Ever since they met, it seems Mike likes to shove Levi's face in dirty puddles. And lately, Mike has been especially dedicated to that.

“People’s rooms really can say a lot about them.” From the nightstand, Erwin takes the red book Levi gave you, flipping through its pages. “I heard from the cadets that this one is really good.” He smiles at Levi.

“Shut up, Erwin.” Levi whispers with bloodied eyes.

Mike closes his eyes and concentrates, trying to remember things related to you.

"Didn't she request three days of unpaid leave a few weeks ago?" He looks at Erwin.

"Hmm, that is true. If I'm not mistaken, she claimed to have painful cramps and asked to rest for a few days."

"If she has been missing since then, it makes it fifteen days." Mike frowns.

"She worked with me after that." Levi states, speaking slowly as if trying to remember. "It was after those days, then."

"You're right, I remember seeing her after she got back from her leave." The Commander agrees.

If you disappeared after coming back from your leave…

"Twelve days…" Mike concludes and runs a hand heavily over his face.

Missing for twelve days…!

If Mike doesn’t find you, he will never forgive himself.

Striding firm and determined, Mike walks through the HQ accompanied by his investigation team.

Well… Kinda.

Erwin is always grinning and seeming to enjoy it all like it’s a long break. But despite being useless when it comes to investigating, the Commander’s presence acts as a walking permission letter, as no one is trying to stop or question Mike’s nosy inquiry.

As for Levi—the dark counterpart to Erwin’s bubbly disinterest—; basically, an active source of angry grunts that also doesn’t help with anything. And when asked questions he doesn’t want to answer, the Corporal tells Mike to check Hanji’s office instead. Three times so far.

After two tireless hours of walking around questioning people about your whereabouts, Mike finds himself in front of Hanji’s door.
He gulps hard.

“… I tried to avoid it, but…” Mike says under his breath.

“I apologize, but my papers have to be turned in to the Central by tomorrow morning. I can’t postpone them any longer.” Erwin says in a dignified tone of duty.

“I won’t even make excuses; I’m not going in there.” Levi growls.

Mike looks back, seeing he’s already alone.
He sighs and deeply breathes in.

“Twelve days?” Moblit frowns, shocked.

“It’d help immensely if you remember as much as you can from your last interaction with her.”

“You sure she isn’t here, Moblit?” Hanji sips on her tea. Mike blinks twice, looking at the piles of paper and garbage surrounding Hanji at her desk. “Even I fall asleep under the desk and the tea table sometimes.”

“Even so, after twelve days she’d be dead, Squad Leader…”

Only for the sake of trying, Mike rummages through the nightmare in Hanji’s office, looking for you.

“Did she look sad the last time you saw her?” Mike asks, patiently removing massive piles of documents from under the desk.

“It’s hard to tell, we’re always depressed during the time we spend here.” Moblit takes a sheet from the pile Mike has just moved, shaking his head at the long-missed deadline. “Besides, Squad Leader dragged her to the office the night after that non-paid leave of hers. She still looked in pain to me, though. But I guess she couldn’t afford more days to rest.”

Mike immediately looks at him. So far, it's the most recent interaction anyone can remember having with you.

“Huh? But she looked to be in her usual self to me.” Hanji says, distracted, scratching her jaw while reading her messy notes. “Eren, on the other hand.” She looks at Mike and grimaces.

“What do you mean?”

“He looked angry, anxious; I don’t know.” She yawns. “All prickly, distracted and frowning the whole morning.”

“I don’t get it, what’s the order?” Mike frowns.

“Eren upset by morning, the girl captured by Squad Leader by night.” Moblit synthesizes, helping Mike to move a broken armchair full of papers.

“Is Eren still behaving like that?” He asks.

“Hmm, I’m not sure. I think he didn’t come here after that day. Yeah, I required Eren to come here to try a new thing on him, but he never showed up—MOBLIT, IS HE AVOIDING US???”

“It seems so, Squad Leader.” Moblit drags his voice.

“Are you sure it was on the same day you last saw her?” Mike asks Hanji.

“Most likely.” Moblit turns the pages of his own notes, then shows it to Mike: on days which experiments were done, Moblit described them and properly wrote the dates. “We didn’t perform any experiments on Eren that day because he was upset the whole morning and not willing to cooperate. Therefore, the previous day was the last experiment we did.” He points at the last date written in the grid. “So, according to your calculations and our notes, this,” He taps twice the blank space where the next date should have been written. “is supposedly the day she disappeared. Exactly thirteen days ago. I remember she left late that night; she was helping me instead of Squad Leader.”

“Oh, why is that, Moblit?”

“Because you passed out on your desk, ma’am.” He rolls his eyes, then returns to his composed self and looks at Mike. “Do you think it’s related?”

To be honest, Mike doesn’t know. He’d like not to believe Eren is involved in your disappearance.
Before Hanji can stuff him with useless information, Mike leaves the office.
But what a useful report Moblit keeps, indeed.

So, you disappeared at night, after curfew, walking by yourself in the empty building while on the way to your room.

The afternoon is drawing to a close. Mike looks for Eren but can’t find him anywhere.
The high rank needs to think for a while and write down what he knows so far, so he decides to return to his office.
His brows rise in surprise when seeing Armin sitting next to his office. It looks like the boy has been waiting for Mike for a long time.

“Arlert.”

“Sir.” He calmly gets up and Mike immediately notices the boy is apprehensive, looking down. “I’ve heard she’s missing for two weeks and you’re looking for her.”

“Is Eren involved in this?”

Mike knows Armin and Eren are childhood friends and are loyal to each other, but if Armin is willing to tell something that probably involves Eren, it means he’s worried about you, too. Or that there really is a reason to be concerned.

“I… I don’t know but…” He hesitates. “Lately, Eren hasn’t been behaving like himself. He’s usually cheerful and always wants to spend time with her, but for about two weeks now he’s quiet and avoiding us—I’m not saying it was him! I just… I think he may know something.”

“I do think so too and would like to ask him directly, but he isn’t anywhere to be seen. I even looked in the stables.”

Armin puts a hand to his mouth.

“Ah… Could it be…?”

“Why is everyone suddenly so hooked on books?” Mike sighs, leaning against the shelf beside him, physically cornering Eren in the fiction section of the HQ library.

Surprised, Eren looks back. He isn’t holding any books, looking like he's just standing with his arms crossed, staring at the shelves.
He’s visibly tense as Mike walks towards him.

“Looks like you weren’t very sincere this morning when we talked.”

Eren averts his eyes. Mike approaches him so he can speak as quietly as possible.

“A 23-year-old young lady has been missing for twelve days.” He says calmly. “And you will tell me what you know or what you did.”

“I didn’t do anything…!”

“Then talk.”

“I…” He sighs, defeated. “I didn’t mean to but… I think I may be the reason she’s gone.”

“Did she run away from the HQ?”

“I’m not sure…”

“But you believe she did, and that is why you’re keeping quiet.”

Eren gulps and nods. He clenches his fists to stop trembling, but it’s for naught.

“I don’t know if she ran away, but if she did… I don’t want her to be executed. This is why…”

“And how would you be responsible?”

Eren becomes quiet and his face goes pale. He compulsively looks around and Mike knows he’s trying to think.

“If it’s taking you so long, I hope the lie is good.”

“I won’t lie…! I’m just deciding how I’m going to phrase it.”

“Then?”

“I…”

Trying to compose himself, Eren rubs his face with both hands, tense.

“L… Let’s say I… In a way,” He breathes. “kind of… Proposed to her.”

“You what?”

“But she refused, all right?”

“You know that if someone here hears you talking about it—”

“I know…” Eren buries his flushed face in his hands. “I know we can’t do this kind of thing here, but I did. She’s not in the wrong.”

“Hm. You proposed to her and she turned you down. Why would she do something so extreme like deserting from the military?”

Eren looks down and bites his own lower lip.

“I was, amh… A little bit… Insistent.” He averts his eyes.

Mike sighs. Despite worrying about the theory of you running away being back on the board, he is relieved that Eren’s involvement is the one of silly teenagers.

“Listen, you can have a relationship and even get married, as long as it’s outside the military, mainly when the buildings are involved. Otherwise, the headquarters would become love nests or brothels. There is also a risk that women go to the battlefield without knowing they are pregnant, which is why female cadets often retire once they get married.” He crosses his arms. “And she probably will do that since she has a fiancé back in her town.”

“That’s a lie.” Eren says firmly, surprising Mike. “She doesn’t have a fiancé.”

“How come?”

“… I can’t tell you.”

Mike shakes his head and gives up on arguing with Eren.

“Have you done something to her? Were you in heat?”

“No!” Eren says louder than he intended to, eyes wide. “I didn’t touch her. You can confirm it with Corporal Levi!”

“Levi?”

“Yeah…! I don’t know why he was still up so late, but he found us talking, yelled at us and escorted her back to her room.” Eren pouts.

Mike’s stomach goes cold.

Levi grunts loudly, immediately pulling out and spurting his dirt on the sheets, eyes squeezed shut.
Out of breath, he collapses on top of your limp body. You only let out a faint groan when crushed against the uncomfortable mattress on that underground cell.
He breathes hard through his mouth for a while and then holds your face with one hand, turning it so he can check on you.

Your numb expression and hazy eyes make him click his tongue.
Damn, as the days go by, you get weaker and weaker and you barely eat. Is it due to lack of sunlight and fresh air?
Levi tries to give you water but you’re poorly responding. He gently tucks your hair behind your ear—ah, there you go, unconscious again. He sighs and puts the water aside.
Maybe he should let you sleep for a few hours before trying again. It’s already morning anyway; he needs to work.

He caresses your jaw with the back of his finger and gives your cheek a long kiss.
Getting up, Levi gets dressed, locks the cell and heads to his room to take a shower.

Not knowing how long it's been since you lost consciousness, you wake up to the sound of footsteps coming towards you, but you don't even have the strength to open your eyes. You want to turn your aching body over in bed, but the cuffs around your wrists are too heavy, as are the long chains that hold you to the wall. You feel dizzy and everything goes black again.

Your dry mouth causes you to wake up. Your eyelids flutter and you manage to open your eyes after some effort.

There’s something wrong.
You realize it's night because of the moonlight coming through the windows, but the underground prison doesn't have any.
Where are you?

Everything hurts, but feeling more rested now, you force your body to sit up and look around. It’s dark and awfully quiet.

The infirmary? How did you get there? Where’s Levi?

“Have you calmed down?” Erwin asks.

Sitting behind bars, Mike glares at him.

“Erwin… The condition she was in… How can you be so calm?” Mike gets up and goes to the Commander.

“I’m a man who refuses to despair.”

“How is she?”

“Last I checked, she was still unconscious.”

“And where’s that jerk?”

“Somewhere else inside this building, under the same treatment as you.”

Mike throws his weight onto the single-bed, sitting again.

“This doesn’t end here, Erwin. You and I are going to talk.”

Erwin sighs, opening his office door.
Sitting on the couch by the center table, Levi uncrosses his legs and leans his elbows on the knees.

“Took you a while.”

“I don’t like playing favorites, Levi.” He closes the door.

“Of course, you do. Although I’m sure you had fun seeing us exchanging punches like brats.”

After a moment of silence, Erwin’s long scoff becomes a giggle, which turns into a deranged laughter. Levi’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Levi, you maniac…!” Erwin covers his own mouth with the back of his hand. “You sank so low to the point of actually locking her up, chains and all, I can’t believe it.”

“So, you knew all along where she was.” Levi narrows his eyes.

“No, I didn’t.” Erwin recovers and returns to his professional self. “But you were so composed that it made me sure she was with you.”

Levi scoffs and gets up.

“Well, whatever. I’m going back to my room.”

“Levi.” Erwin calls when the man is at the door. “Mike is very determined. Things won’t end pretty this time around.” The Commander smiles mischievously at him.

The Corporal squints his eyes at Erwin before leaving.

“Erwin, if you don’t do it, I will.” Mike states in a cold tone. “I’ll ignore your authority and do what I must.”

“Fill out an official document and send it to the Central is out of discussion.”

Ugh, Erwin knew Mike would be looking for him as soon as he got out of the cell, but early in the morning, as the sun is still rising, it's a little too much. With sadness in his heart, the Commander quickly glances at his warm, comforting cup of tea going cold before he even touched it.

“I thought that as the Commander of the Survey Corps, more than anyone here, you’d protect the rules.”

“As the Commander of the Survey Corps I protect humanity.” Erwin adjusts himself in his fancy chair and looks at Mike. “Let’s say you really fill out a paper on Levi and send it to Zackly. Once ‘humanity’s strongest soldier’ is tied to a sanatorium bed for life, will you take his place and fulfill his duty just as competently?”

Mike frowns.

“I understand you see the girl as, I don’t know, your child? A little sister? And you care deeply about her, but between protecting one girl and protecting the people inside the Walls by keeping Levi in the military, you know which one I’d choose. Not to mention…” Erwin blinks slowly. “The Central will hardly believe it was one-sided and will likely demand punishment for both sides. And once she’s kicked out from the military, won’t it be easier for the Military Police to reach the girl and use her to extract Eren from the Survey Corps?”

Mike rubs his face with one hand, looking conflicted. He thinks for a few moments and sighs deeply, frustrated.

“What do you suggest, then?” He growls.

Erwin smiles, satisfied that the conversation is flowing as he planned.

“I agree with you about the need of doing something to punish Levi and protect her from further attacks. But there’s no need to expose her delicate situation to the whole HQ. Let’s hush up this incident and deal with this situation internally, between us high ranks, with an internal—but neither official nor public—order. I’ll inform you as soon as I have things ready.”

“I won’t accept it if it’s too light.”

“I’m aware.”

Still upset, Mike clicks his tongue and looks down, thoughtful. It’s hard to win an argument with Erwin…
And Erwin doesn’t want to give Mike time to think of anything new before he finally leaves the office and it seals the deal. The Commander clears his throat.

“Let me ask… How did you know it was Levi? I thought you had crossed him from the suspects list once he showed his room and cooperated with the investigation.”

“I never crossed his name from the suspects list.” Mike keeps staring at the floor as he speaks. “I knew it was him all along, but wanted to have enough proof to confirm it. It's been ages since I noticed him preying on the girl. I just didn't think it was going to end like this.”

“That's why you kept tailing Levi.”

“I managed to keep an eye on him during the investigation and apparently he worked all day. If she was being kept somewhere, she needed to eat and drink water. Since he couldn't disappear unnoticed during the day, he'd probably take action at night.”

“You had a guess and followed him, then.”

“Levi tends to notice when he’s being followed, so when I saw him heading to the underground prison I waited until he left in the morning, afraid of being led to a trap. If I knew what he was doing there I certainly wouldn’t have waited…!”

“But I commend your investigative skills. You managed to solve it in less than twenty-four hours.”

Mike scoffs, upset.

“There’s nothing to be commended.” He says with a sour expression, unsatisfied with the situation and with himself for taking so long to notice your disappearance and finally rescue you.

24. Blood-sealed bond and its withdrawal symptoms

“I want you to know that I saved both of you back there.” Erwin says, now clearly upset.

“Is that so?” Levi drags his voice with indifference, standing with crossed arms in front of Erwin’s desk.

“I won’t be able to calm Mike down again. You have been reckless for a long time, so the punishment will be real, just so you know.”

Levi frowns. Oh, Erwin is actually pissed.

“To begin with, you’ll have a 35% pay cut, days off cut by half, and you are not allowed to leave the headquarters until further notice.”

Expressionless, Levi listens in silence. He knew these things would be suggested as penalties.

“And for obvious reasons, you won’t be able to book her time to assist you with paperwork. You will deal with it by yourself.”

All by himself?!

“Hey…!”

“I’ll be especially severe regarding your deadlines.”

“Erwin, you can’t really expect me t—”

Raising his voice to cover Levi's, Erwin starts reading the paper aloud, dragging his voice to sound bored.

"4) Allowing/causing a subordinate's absence at work through several days without the Commander's official permission; 5) Obstructing a subordinate's freedom outside working hours for personal reasons; 6) Illegal imprisonment; 7) SEVERE SEXUAL MISCONDUCT; 8) Obstructing paperw—"

"All right, all right. Shut up, I get it." Levi sighs, feeling his hands cold with tension.

After obediently listening to the rest of the long list of penalties, Levi turns to Erwin.

“How long will I have to avoid contact with her?”

“The schedule is—”

“I’m not talking about work.” Levi interrupts Erwin, who sighs.

"I don't know. How long do you think it'll take Mike to forget the dreadful sight he witnessed underground?"

Levi clicks his tongue.

“Which brings us to the next topic…” Erwin leans his head on a hand, turning the paper over with the other. “You’re going through a rehab.”

A what?

“A what?” Levi brows go up.

“Actually, it’s a restraining order. You won’t have any contact with her.”

“You mean officially. Involving offices, paperwork, mess hall, the building in general, I got it already.”

“No, I mean ‘at all’.” Erwin shows Levi your room’s key, which he has been keeping since the investigation. “Even outside working hours, even during days off.”

“Erwi—”

“Well, this is obvious. It was the first thing Mike demanded and you should have anticipated this condition.” Erwin puts the key back inside his jacket pocket. “It will do you good, I’m sure of it. Maybe with it you can get back on track and learn not to cause problems for your Commander.”

Ugh. A pissed off Erwin is scary.
Levi opens his mouth to complain, but Erwin is quicker.

“Careful with what you’ll say. Think about her punishment.”

Huh?

“Why would she be punished?” Levi growls. “Even I know it’s not her fault, and I’m the one who blames her all the time for everything.”

“Apparently, when she woke up, the first thing she said to the nurse was,” Erwin turns the paper over in his hand, reading the lines. “‘I can’t stay here, I have to go back’ and when asked why; ‘He’s going to be upset’, then proceeded to be completely silent, even when asked further questions.”

Levi looks down, quiet.

Does Levi understand what Erwin went through? How many people did he have to hush? He even had to change the nurses who work at the infirmary.

“With that, her involvement to a certain extent is evident, which implies punishment for her as well. From my point of view, of course; Mike disagreed and was against it. We discussed it for a while and then made a deal; if you bear all the conditions, she’ll be spared her share of punishment.”

Levi’s mind is going blank.
He is angry, but right now he wants that key. He needs it.

“And I have assigned assets to monitor you. Ah, but I won't tell you who they are.”

How petty.
Levi is about to crack his teeth, so strongly he’s clenching his jaw.
Feeling dizzy, the Corporal turns his ankle to leave, but Erwin’s voice makes him stop.

"The cadet you're in love with isn't a property of yours. If anything, she is mine, as her life depends on my decisions." Erwin is smiling with his lips, but not with his eyes. "I was lending her to you, so don't go making decisions by yourself. It only causes me trouble."

"In lov—?! What…?! Yours?!" Levi doesn’t know what to complain about first.

"You wanted to lock the girl and keep her all to yourself, didn't you? But after you taint her and make her dependent on you, distort her mind, have sex with her to exhaustion, what are you going to do?"

Levi frowns. Erwin ignores it.

"Once you've satisfied all your desires and no longer feel so needy for her, you'll discard her. But I need her to function, and it won't happen if you keep doing as you please. Don't make that face, you know that’s the truth. We are both men and this is how it works."

"You've got things wrong." Levi looks extremely offended. Erwin pays attention to his every word and every movement. "Don't you ever dare call it 'love' again." His eyes glare towards Erwin, who only responds with a smile. "I'm no horny teenager. I didn't lock up that useless dumbass because I need sex."

"Ah, that's mean. She's smart and pretty cute." Erwin calmly teases him.

"It's not about having enough of her to exhaustion. I can't let her wander around right now." Levi’s eyes are wide. "Look, her role in the Survey Corps is replaceable. You want her to disappear since she knows too much, right? I'll do it. She will live in my room and won't ever leave it."

"Listen to your own nonsense… This is why Mike wants to bite our heads off.” Erwin looks tired. “Turning her into your personal sex relief isn't going to solve anything."

"It's not about sex!" Levi yells, surprising the Commander. He immediately bites on his own teeth to tone down and control himself.

Erwin sighs and leans back in his chair, crossing his arms.

“Locking her in the underground… She’d be found sooner or later, clearly. I wonder, why did you resort to such a desperate measure? You’re smarter than that.”

Upset and with his mind a complete mess, the Corporal clicks his tongue.

“… It’s none of your business.”

“That's something brave to say,” Erwin blinks slowly. “to someone who constantly has her at gunpoint.”

Levi ignores him and leaves.

You’re back—and, thanks to Erwin, no explanation to anyone.

Not a single soul inside the Survey Corps is questioning where you’ve been all those days. Erwin apparently prohibited the subject.

When you leave the infirmary, Mike gently pats your head, asking if you’re all right.
Hm. Weird. You don’t feel very responsive yet, so you blink slowly at him.
Things are still a little confusing inside your head, but it’s probably because you feel weak. Your reflexes are slower and you’re always sleepy. Still, you have to work.
Looking at your schedule, you don’t see Levi’s name anywhere.

Shit.
You kind of knew but… Just when things were going well.

That’s right; everything was just fine.

It’s been a while since Levi was so calm and ridiculously caring when handling you. All that time underground, he didn’t scold you once. Just like that day when he claimed that your heart, body, soul, entirety belonged to him, the Corporal was loving and kind.
You feel uneasy. You were behaving and things were going well, as Levi once said they would. Then… Why?
Why did they take you from there? Levi is going to get upset. No, he certainly already is! You haven’t seen him since they took you out of that cell. Where is he?
You want to see him…

The days go by and you start to feel better. After sitting in the sun for a few minutes every day, eating well and taking longer breaks, your body now responds almost normally.

Yet, it’s your mind that is still locked underground. Not seeing Levi anywhere—not even at the high ranks table in the mess hall—is driving you nuts. Erwin forbade you from going anywhere near Levi’s office, whose door is now always closed. No one mentions his name. You don’t hear his voice anywhere. It’s as if he just vanished from the world.

You feel like crying.

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse…
Five young men in Military Police jackets arrive at the headquarters, stepping in nonchalantly while looking around with an air of great importance.
What are they—?

Does it ring a bell?

It was your suggestion, after all.

Under Zackly’s official authorization, five cadets from the Military Police were selected to attend paperwork classes under your care. They’re due to arrive at the Survey Corps headquarters in a few weeks.

It's what is written in the letter from a few weeks ago.

“The notice is supposed to reach the destination first.” Unamused, you blink slowly at the MP cadet who handed you the letter, a sly smile on his lips.

While you talk to them, behind the MP cadet backs Hanji and Moblit sneakily kidnap Eren and drag him across the main hall.
Oh right; back at the hearing, it was said that Eren was locked up all the time.

With the MP brats’ arrival (oh, look at you, all Corporal-like), the whole building is tense.
Five young men, more like five spies watching everything. Either high ranks or cadets, everyone feels they need to be more careful around them.
Every division has its own secrets, but the Survey Corps? If arrested, Erwin would die of old age before he finished testifying.

Erwin had previously provided a separate office for you to teach them.
An office! For you!
Who’s the boss now?

An office especially prepared and completely disinfected from any possible secret. Basically, a safe room to welcome outside guests. All books, documents, furniture, window view; everything was carefully planned and calculated to appear harmless and prevent espionage.

People make the place and the place makes the people. Why is it so easy to see that these boys are from the Military Police? They could be wearing no jacket and you would still know they’re from there. Usually, MP cadets look and sound very proud of themselves. Sure, it’s hard to join them. Sure, they have better food, better furniture, better wares, better everything, they die less etc., but damn.

You were from the Garrison, people there seem to be more neutral when compared to both the Military Police and the Survey Corps.

And regarding the Survey Corps…

Do you really need to identify the type of person who joins this division?

Then, there you are. Instead of a center table with couches and armchairs—like the higher-ups usually have near the door—, you have instead a large conference table, where you spend time the most with the MP brats. Rarely do you go to your desk.

Sitting with the little shits at the conference table, you open the file Erwin gave you and explain their routine.

Things will work in cycles; after three weeks of daily classes with you, they will go back to the Military Police headquarters and stay there for a week, then come back to the Survey Corps again.
They will share a single dormitory and will not be allowed to bring any other Survey Corps cadets or sleep anywhere else.
The five brats will take their meals with everyone in the mess hall.
Leaving the building is allowed once Erwin authorizes it.
The MP cadets can write letters too; they’ll be sent with the others’ every week.
There are areas where they can go freely, but also forbidden ones.
Erwin is their boss during their stay at the Survey Corps headquarters, but they report to you regarding minor issues (how does it feel to be a superior officer?).

You lazily raise your eyes from the paper to look at them. They’re just as thrilled as you are.
You sigh.

If needed to pinpoint what bothers you about them, you’d say that they all look and behave like a rip-off of Floch Forster.

Jean is an angel when compared to Floch.
And Floch is an angel when compared to these five young men.
It’s their first day and they’re already giving you a very bad impression. The smirks, the whispering, the lack of concentration, how they look (down) at you.
Even when they don’t say anything, it seems like they’re mocking you somehow. Are you so stressed it's making you imagine things?
You wrap things up for the day and dismiss them.

The next day, you leave Mike’s office and stretch while yawning. Before going to teach the cadets, you still have to attend an appointment with Erwin. Sadly, no break between. Paperwork lessons added to the schedule mean that many of your breaks left, never to return. You’re a public servant, you love breaks!!!

Lazily, you look out the window at the corridor where you are.
Ahh~ You’re so jealous; the five brats are taking a walk.

No.

One, two… There’s four of them. Where’s the fifth?
They don’t necessarily have to walk together all the time, but…
You shake your head and lean back to crack your sore back, then resume your way to Erwin’s office.

“Excuse me~” You say while entering the office and closing the door behind you. Your attention is immediately drawn at the Commander because his shoulders are shaking. “Is everything all right?”

“Sure.” Erwin squeezes his own lips together to force himself to stop smiling.

Walking over to his desk, you look at the papers you've brought him.

“Today we have to work on that report, right? The one that—”

“How are things with the cadets from the Military Police?”

“Ah.” You look at Erwin. “We just started yesterday.”

“Are they eager to learn?”

“Amh, no. They’re just rude.”

Erwin chuckles.

“Well, they’re from the Military Police, after all. They probably were chosen without previous research and kicked into a carriage.” Erwin says, knowing well how Commanders decide things.

“I see.” You sit on the chair across from his desk. “Well, this report here is long, so—”

Erwin grunts.
You look at him.

“Sir?”

The Commander is visibly in pain, but he just can’t stop laughing quietly behind the hand covering his mouth.
Seeing your confused expression, Erwin tries hard to compose himself.

“Your schedule is tight now, isn’t it? Since yesterday you haven’t had any breaks. Why don’t you use my time with you to rest a bit? Only for today, of course.”

“Seriously?” You look at him, starry-eyed.

“Just leave the papers here. I’ll take a look la…” He looks up and you’re already gone, slammed door and all. “…ter.”

Erwin sighs, chuckling loudly again.

“It really hurt.” He smiles and, still seated, moves his chair away from the desk.

Levi comes out, scowling at him.

“I know very well which report she was talking about. When she helps me with it, it takes three fucking days to finally get rid of it. No way I’d stay here for two whole hours.”

“You know… If anyone saw us right now, he or she would get a very wrong idea…” Erwin shakes his head while seeing Levi getting up and tapping his jacket.

“You’re the one who said the girl and I can’t even meet. What should I have done? Jumped out of the window?”

“Hide in the restroom, at least.” Erwin covers his mouth again, trying to suppress a laugh, still rubbing his kicked knee to ease the pain. “See? The things with the MP cadets are not as bad as you thought.”

“I saw them today, they all look like Forster.” Levi crosses his arms. “But back to what we were talking about before: enough with that shit, give me the damn key.”

“I already told you, you’re not having it back.”

“Erwin, I swear I’ll cut you…”

“You can shake my dead body upside down all you want; you won’t find it.” Erwin smirks, having everything under control. “So, how was it? Getting to hear her voice after so long.”

Levi frowns, staying in silence.
Erwin becomes serious immediately.

“Aren’t you feeling well, Levi? You look pale.”

He scoffs and leaves.
Erwin, the cretin! Levi will definitely cut him…!

Ugh, but Levi indeed doesn’t feel so great today. He can’t roam around the HQ to prevent you from bumping into each other, so he goes straight to his room.
Technically speaking, Levi is kind of under house arrest; he can go out to work in his office—and eat his meals there—but has to go back as soon as possible.
Levi really doesn’t mind, but not having that fucking key is driving him nuts.

Before he reaches his room, something catches his attention: the MP cadets are enjoying their free time in the common room, talking loudly and laughing, but shouldn't there be five of them?

Well, Levi doesn’t care, so he ignores the three brats and keeps walking.
Nanaba greets Levi as they pass each other on his way to his room. The Corporal squints at her. Is she watching him? This woman is one of Erwin’s minions, certainly; she and that blond dog Mike are very close, after all.

Closing the door, Levi looks at the nightstand where many of your books are. He averts his eyes, but the other nightstand has both of your mugs. Damn.
His desk is full of your books and his wardrobe has many of your clothes. His entire room is infested with traces of you. It almost hurts.
He walks to the nightstand and distractedly runs his fingertips over a book, as if caressing it. He quietly sighs through his nose and picks it up.

Throwing himself heavily on the bed, he opens the book and starts to lazily run his eyes over the first few lines.

How painful.

❖

Now a question! Who cares less about rules inside the HQ building?

You? Levi? Erwin? Eren?

Hanji.

With the Military Police around, one would expect everyone to cooperate so as not to look suspicious. But Hanji is different. She’s bold! Brave! Cunning! Daring!
How can she wait for that single week of peace when the cadets go back home? They’re leaving in two days before breakfast, but she won’t stop! Nah, not her. She’ll perform experiments under the Military Police cadets’ noses right after dinner.

No, Erwin doesn’t know about it.
But you do. You’re assisting her, after all.

In a cold sweat, you and Moblit are doing your best to keep things quiet while dragging Eren across the building—evidently against his will—from his cell to Hanji’s second office. Hanji is way noisier than Eren, though.

Eren was avoiding you at first and you were thankful for that, but now that a few weeks passed since you got back, he’s completely back to his former self.
He was feeling guilty before, but you and Levi aren’t walking around the HQ all lovey-dovey anymore, so the boy feels a lot more confident.
Still crying like a baby when drawing blood, though. Why is he so afraid of needles? Some trauma from the past? Anyway, Moblit is holding Eren’s head while you’re tie his angry feet. You notice Eren is a little weird tonight; kinda sweaty and uneasy.

You’re ridiculously tired of your hurried routine of jumping from office to office—with almost no breaks—and then teaching those smug little shits from the Military Police, who are gradually making you hate them more and more.
Not only are they pretentious and have a permanent mocking face, but they also occasionally make some weird insinuations.
You personally think Erwin left them with a lot of free time.

Eren interrupts your train of thought by suddenly grabbing your shirt and trying to open it.

“Ah, his heat is earlier this time!” Hanji exclaims in wonder. “I knew it! His skin was burning when I touched him just now. This morning he also smelled the air and noticed that I had dropped jelly on my jacket.”

Expressionless and already used to this bullshit, you grab a small stool and consecutively—and mercilessly—smack Eren in the face with it until he lets go of your open shirt and falls unconscious to the floor.

“Squad Leader! If you noticed it, we should have locked him instead!” Moblit scolds her while dragging a half-dead Eren into the cell. “What a timing…! What if he attacked you or her, or even walked around like that and the MP cadets saw him?”

“You wanted to do experiments on Eren while he’s in heat, didn’t you?” Looking at Hanji as if nothing happened, you toss the bloodied stool aside and button up your shirt.

Hanji mumbles some lame excuses and because you know that there’s still the second part of the job—working on the experiment report—, you ignore Hanji and step out the room, already heading to her main office and leaving Moblit and the woman behind.

“Ah, she left. How mean.” Hanji pouts.

“She’s usually very considerate of Eren, but don’t you think she’s been cold to him lately?”

“Huh? You think so?”

“Don’t you pay attention to people, Squad Leader?” Moblit sighs as he locks the cell and tidies the place before they leave. “She’s in a constant bad mood, more distant and unexpectedly violent.”

“That is Levi’s influence on her for sure.” Hanji laughs, stepping to the side so Moblit can lock the office.

They return to Hanji’s first office, where you are already working. And there, my friend, is where things take the longest.
You help Moblit with his sacred all-in-one report, which is the soul of Hanji’s experiments.

“Then there are times when heat is earlier than expected.” Moblit thinks aloud as he writes.

“Just like periods, then!” Hanji says eagerly, as if she's come to a brilliant conclusion.

Moblit growls, ignoring her.

“Won’t it become a problem?” You ask Hanji while crumpling a paper Moblit no longer needs. “If this happens often.”

“Eren is our only titan shifter, so we can manage it, don’t worry.”

It’s so late at night that even Moblit went down, sleeping while face-planking on his notes.
You look at the two knocked-out bosses and dismiss yourself, leaving the office with wobbly legs.
You yawn. Just a little more… Just a few more corridors and you can finally sleep.

You thought you were alone in those empty corridors, but you hear something. Someone is walking towards you, and the timing of the steps is… Odd, almost as if the person is having problems to walk, dragging his or her feet.

There’s a pained grunt.
Ah, it’s a ‘he’.

You think of running away, but if it’s trouble, you have a duty to report it to someone; you can’t let anything unusual happen while the MP little shits are in the building. Then, you start walking hesitantly towards the sound to meet the guy.

You gasp in surprise, stomach going cold.

“Reiner, you idiot. You scared me!” You sigh in relief and put a hand to your chest.

But he’s weird. Reiner is indeed having trouble walking, dragging his feet as he bends forward. Also breathing weirdly through his open mouth. Unfocused hazy eyes. Deeply flushed face.

Heat!

No, of course not, you idiot. Are you that sleepy? Reiner is no titan.
You quickly shake your head, internally laughing at yourself.

“Reiner, are you sick? You look feverish. Why are you heading outside the building? Come, I’ll take you to the infirmary.” You touch his shoulder in a kind gesture.

In an abrupt move, Reiner snatches your wrist and throws you against the wall, already pinning you with his body. You groan in pain.

“What are you doing, stupid?” You try to create some distance between you by putting your foot on his chest, but the beast is absurdly strong. “You’re not sick. You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

Your heart is beating fast. You're not very good at hand-to-hand combat. In reality, you can pull off a thing or two if it’s a very short fight, but if this monster enters the equation, there’s little you can do. And if the fight is long, you’re a goner.

He’s easily subduing you, you’re no challenge.

Both of your wrists are trapped high on the wall on either side of your head and the leg pushing him is almost touching your stomach, so close he is.
There’s no time to think; it’s up to your instincts.

You lift your other leg and use the sole of your boot to kick him in the face.
It’s not as strong as you’d like it to be, but Reiner groans in pain and releases one of your wrists to touch his nose in reflex.
Hanging by a wrist, you kick him again but this time in the groin.
Falling on your knees when he let’s go of you, you get up, twist your upper body and hit his face with your elbow.
He falls back on his butt. Good height. You kick him in the face. Again. And again. And again.
All right, you can’t breathe anymore! He’s still awake, but it doesn’t look like he’s coming after you. Time to run.

Barely seeing where you’re going, you run through the corridors with your head blank. Someone…! You need to call someone! A high rank. You want to go to Levi!
You bump into someone so hard that you’re thrown back and fall to the ground.
Out of breath, you look up.

“Bertolt…?”

He holds your arm with both hands and pulls you up, equally breathless.

“Reiner…!” Both of you say in unison.

Huh?

“You saw Reiner???” With his voice shaking, he grabs your arm again, checking you in a hurry. “Are you okay?”

“Y… Yeah.” You gulp and point to where you came from. “I saw him there… He tried to grab me. I think he’s drunk or something…”

“Thank God you’re in one piece…” He says out loud and then realizes he shouldn’t have. “I… I mean… Yeah, he drank a lot tonight, he’s all weird.”

You’re trembling and blinking compulsively, tired, scared.

“I know you’re terrified, but… Please don’t tell anyone. I’ll go after him and put him to sleep. It’s actually my fault because I was watching him and fell asleep, it won’t happen again. J… Just go to your room, ok?”

“Beltolt, I have to report that… We made a lot of noise there. Someone obviously heard us.”

“Then…! Just wait until tomorrow, ok? I don’t want the high ranks to see him like that. Please…”

In the morning, you drag your body to the mess hall. Another day full of appointments without breaks. Another day without seeing Levi. God, you’re going to burst into tears…

Ah, right. Reiner, that maniac. Where’s he?
Hmm, not in the mess hall, huh?
Hangover?

“Beltolt, just so you know, after breakfast I’m going to report Reiner, ok?” You point at Erwin with your thumb.

“C… Can’t you wait until the end of the day?” He gulps. “He’s in no condition even to stand right now.”

“I’m going to get yelled at if I wait that much.”

Bertolt looks tense and thoughtful. You sigh.

“What a troublesome friend you have. How can you stand this?”

“Ahh, I’m used to it… Reiner gets… ‘Drunk’ like that from time to time, so I usually lock him up until the alcohol stops messing with him.”

“Where do you keep him?” You frown.

“Sorry… I can’t tell you.”

“But Beltolt, don’t you get drunk, too?” Connie suddenly arrives and throws himself on the chair, spilling his food everywhere. “There are times when you just vanish.”

“Ahh—! Connie…” Bertolt panics. “But yeah, that’s true. Reiner also kicks me out so I don’t cause trouble.”

“Aren’t you guys drinking too much?” Your brows go up.

“It’s a men’s stuff!” Connie proudly hits himself in the chest.

“Is that so…?” You turn your ankles. “I’ll talk to Erwin later this afternoon. Won’t wait more than that.”

“Thank you…!” Beltolt gasps and you leave. He starts playing with the food on his plate, wondering how Annie handled her ‘drinking problem’ before she was caught.

In a few minutes you have to teach the five brats, but you forgot your notebook, so you drag your feet back to your room.

You don't have any breaks today either, but the cadets are always late for classes anyway, so you allow yourself to jump into bed to hug your pillow and bury your face in it.

Ah, how unpleasant. It's just your own scent.

Levi really isn't entering your room anymore, is he? Since you don’t see each other anymore, you always go back to your room expecting it smells like him, which would indicate that he was there. As the days go by, however, the place has less and less traces of him. You swallow hard and sniff, feeling your eyes going teary.

Well, of course, he isn't going anywhere near your room; you’re not allowed to do that either. Erwin must be watching him. But… Something inside you makes you disappointed.
You want to meet Levi in secret and get scolded by him for the dangers of doing so—while you just laugh at it all. God, how would you like to hear his harsh yet sultry voice nagging about everything you do.

But no. Levi is being absurdly tame this time around. Why?
You even tried to leave the window open, hoping that Levi would come in through it, but he didn't. Is it because it’d draw too much attention? Are there people watching your room from outside? Well, this is Erwin Smith for you.

As something crosses your mind, you immediately sit up.
What if he is trying to get into your room, but it's always locked? Yeah, you're going to leave your fucking door unlocked! Because the Corporal must be trying to get in touch with you, right? He just didn't give up on trying to see you, right? Levi isn't letting go of you, right? RIGHT??? Because if he is…!

But when you open the door to leave, your stomach turns.

"What are you doing here?" Wide eyed, you look at the MP cadet in front of you. Since he looks just as surprised as you do, you’re more confident to speak harshly to him. "You aren't allowed to go anywhere near dormitories or private rooms."

Tense, his shocked eyes widen even more and for the first time you can see this cheeky kid looking worried.

"Classes started ten minutes ago, why aren't you in front of my office waiting for me?"

"I got lost, ok? You can calm down." Disrespect returns to his stance. "What are you getting mad at? You're late too—and taking a break, on top of that. Just show me the way back."

"I came here for this." You hit his head with the notebook. "Now go, you brat, don't make us late even more."

Acting like Levi makes you calm down a little, but at the same time it hurts somehow.

As you walk down the corridors, you glance at the young man beside you.
What's was he doing there? Right in front of your room, no less. Was he trying to get in there?
You click your tongue. There ARE forbidden documents on your desk as you also work in your room. Maybe it's time to stop bringing the high ranks papers out of the offices.

So, is this what those brats are doing when one of them is missing?
But you can't exactly report him to Erwin this time, because the boy might just insist he got lost.

Then, it means you can't leave your door unlocked after all.

Lined up in front of the office, the four cadets look tense and surprised at you and the fifth asshole arriving together.
Curiously enough, no MP cadets missed classes that day.

The next morning is as lonely as the others, but the MP little shits have already left the HQ to go back to their evil houses. Fucking yes!!!
You sit alone to eat and Eren—a free man for a whole week—immediately joins you. Honestly, you wish he didn’t, but there are too many people around for you to talk to him about it.

And if you did, would he even care? Eren has been behaving a lot more daring lately. It's almost like he's defying someone—sometimes it seems to be you, who turned him down.
You realized a long time ago that Eren is stubborn and just doesn't take 'no' for an answer, but you never thought things would turn out like this.

After you denied what he asked of you that night, it should have put an end to all of his hopes—as it would for a normal person—but Eren seems to have a certain disregard for your wishes and you can see that clearly now.
And on top of that, it looks like the boy does not mind having his nose flattened by a stool two nights ago, as he still approaches you boldly with a cheeky smile.
What a kid.

Unaware of being watched from the mess hall open door, you don’t notice Levi striding away. But Erwin and Hanji do.

Outside the building, Levi is breathing hard through his open mouth, head spinning. With his hand on the wall, he leans forward and throws up painfully.
Hanji and Erwin run to him.

"Is paperwork messing up with your health that much?" Erwin taunts.

Levi mumbles things Erwin can't quite catch, but the Commander is sure he heard your name. He frowns and immediately turns to Hanji.

"I'll take over from here. You can go back." Erwin orders firmly, then approaches Levi when Hanji leaves. He touches Levi's forehead and the Corporal abruptly pushes his hand away, upset. "Levi, you're burning with fever."

Still breathless from vomiting, Levi wipes his chin with his jacket sleeve.

"He's going to take her…"

"Who is?"

"Eren." Levi's exhausted eyes lock into Erwin's.

The Commander blinks once, confused. Levi hesitates, but gives in.

"I heard the brat talking to her that night… He wanted to take her and run away from the military, live somewhere else together, hiding until they dropped dead."

Erwin listens, quiet and attentive.

"She refused countless times, but the brat kept insisting and his approach became more aggressive as he went on…" Levi looks down and breathes in deeply, looking in pain and still finding trouble to keep it together. "I first intended to let her handle it, but things were about to get physical, so I had to step in and interrupt them. When I reached her, the glare in Eren's eyes, it…"

Erwin takes a hand to his chin.

"The silly teenage crush of his is turning into something else, then. Having him going AWOL is troublesome, though."

"I know a greedy glare like that well enough." Levi breathes, tense and starting to feel sick again. "If I hadn't stopped the brat, he'd have run away and dragged her with him, whether she agreed or not." He grabs the Commander's jacket with both hands. "Erwin, he'll do it, he definitely will. And I won't be around to stop him. Right now, he's glued to her, waiting for a chance." Levi's voice shakes as his widened, lost eyes are looking deeply into Erwin's. "Revoke that damn restraining order. Now."

"Can't do that, Levi."

"Enforce a restraining order on Eren as well, then. Or lock her in her room for a while."

"Levi, calm down, Eren won't—"

Levi opens his mouth to argue, but he immediately turns to the side to throw up again.

Unaware of the invisible chains that bind him to you, Levi looks at his own shaking hand, wondering why his body is responding like that.
Throwing up so much makes Levi feel weak and exhausted, so he leaves Erwin behind and ignores whatever the man says next, heading straight to his room.

Erwin sighs. So, this is why Levi was so desperate to the point of locking you up. He just wanted to keep you out of Eren’s reach.
That means, then, that despite not approving of the Military Police cadets, Levi is calmer when they’re in the building because Eren has to be locked up. But now the boy has a whole week of freedom for himself.

“Is Levi all right?” Nanaba asks when Hanji sits down in the mess hall. “I saw him at the door for just a moment but he looked sick.”

“It’s the missed deadline syndrome! Be careful, Nanaba…!”

Moblit munches lazily on his bread, thinking to himself that if it were a real thing, they’d have already buried Hanji’s dry body years ago.

A few days pass. In the morning, after a steaming hot cup of tea, Erwin feels more motivated and less evil. In front of his office, he gives a long yawn and places a hand on the doorknob, but before he can turn it, Hanji arriving and leaning against Levi’s doorframe catches his attention.

“Levi, since you’re so overwhelmed with paperwork, why don’t you call that girl to help you again? What was her name again? Ah, Christa Lenz.”

“That won’t do.”

“Why not?”

It takes Levi a while.
Erwin blinks, curious.

“… She got upset the last time Lenz assisted me.”

Oh? Erwin’s eyebrows go up.

“Ehh~ Are you that tame already?” Hanji starts, but Levi slams the door in her face.

You arrive at Erwin’s office and sit across from him. He doesn’t look so focused.
Looking at the paper he is working on, you sigh, understanding the reason.

“You really hate this one, don’t you, Commander?”

“Yes, actually. Would you mind?” He hands it to you.

You smile and take the file.

“Well, you’re very competent, so I’ll take a break while you deal with it.” He gets up, stretches and goes to his couch. “If you need me, I’m here taking a nap.”

The Commander just woke up and had breakfast, that piece of shit…! What is he taking a break from???

“Sure.” Your eye twitches.

When placing the papers on the desk, you notice the motherfucker has tucked two other files under the one you agreed to take care of.

Son of a…

You flip through the pages of one of them, taking a quick look.
Hm. Apparently, they're running a deep investigation on you, a possible traitor. They are sure you aren’t, but just in case.

Wait.

"Commander… Why is a classified paper reporting a secret investigation on me… In my hands?"

"Oh, that wasn't supposed to be handed to you. Well, but as you've already seen it, could you finish it for me?"

"I—"

"Thank you."

You sigh. Reality has ceased to make sense since you first arrived at the Survey Corps Headquarters.
You decide to give up on sanity and just go with the flow.

“Did you hear about it? There was this cadet from another division who slept around with married men.” The MP cadet whispers loudly to the one beside him, who snickers and leans his face in his hand.

“This is why the military shouldn’t hire women.” He smiles, looking you in the eye. “All they think about is bedding men.”

“Do you know the case I just mentioned?” The first one asks you. “I think it’s wrong to merely kick out women like that. Don’t you think that kind of bitch should die instead?”

“What are you, bully school girls? You guys just got back today, focus, yes?” You shake in the air an angry letter the boys handed you. “Nile will throw another fit if you don’t learn about inventory control. Stop behaving like resentful evil women for a moment.”

The five of them look at each other and smirk.

As soon as class ends, you kick them out and lock the office door. There’ll be a quick break and you’ll have to go back and teach the fuckers for another two entire hours.
Finally alone after locking the door, you let out a long sigh and then click your tongue.
Shit.
Your hands are cold with tension and your mouth is dry. Fear is taking over you.
Shouldn’t you talk to someone? Erwin? Hanji?
To be fair, the person you actually want to tell this is Levi, he’s the one you trust the most. You want to see him more than anything else.
When heading to the archive room, you gasp in surprise when seeing Levi in the distance.

“Sir…!” You involuntarily call him.

He glances at you and leaves quickly.
Without thinking, you run after Levi, but as you turn down the corridor, he's nowhere in sight.
Ah…
Against your will, tears well up in your eyes. You immediately rub your face with your sleeve.
That fucker…!

Back on walking to the archive room, you’re basically dragging your feet, carrying files under your arm. Of all places, you really don’t want to go in there right now.

The archive room is probably as big as the mess hall, but nearly twice as high.
Almost reaching the ceiling, several bookshelves made of dark wood occupy it entirely, creating countless narrow—and absurdly long—corridors where a person can barely fit. Reiner would get stuck.
The smelly shelves are filled with smelly wooden boxes full of smelly old documents no one will ever need to read until humanity finally comes to its demise.

The mold paradise only has room for a fairly large conference table with its chairs near the old double doors—which are unnecessarily tall and thick.
Befitting the delusions of grandeur that afflict the room, a single but gigantic window that takes about half of the longest wall of that rectangular chamber, provides all the light and ventilation.
Despite being such a broad room, sounds hardly travel there, so massive and full are the shelves. Being there for too long tends to cause you despair due to the maddening silence.

Unfortunately, you often go there to store finished papers. All of your work with the high ranks ends there, death reports as well.
Everything there is so pretentious, yet abandoned.
Why are you feeling bad for a room for stuffing old papers? Is your solitude messing up with your head and heart that bad?

Hm, weird; due to the unbearable smell, the window AND the big-ass doors are usually open all day, being closed only at night. But not only are the doors closed, they're also locked.
You try to force it open and even knock, but it’s all for naught.
Well, you didn’t want to go there anyway, lucky you.
The bad news is; now you have to go back for a second round of lessons with the snarky brats.

As you drag your feet back to the office, you brood over unfinished business with Levi. Things you never forgave mixed in with your current problems. You feel sad and pent-up.
Sitting among the brats, you notice something odd.

“Where’s the fifth?”

Indifferent, they shrug.

25. Prison break

You go to the mail room a second time this week because you forgot to send to your family this month’s money along with the letter you wrote earlier.
Entering the room and taking the money out of your pocket, you’re surprised to see everyone’s letters in place, except yours.

Huh? But you are pretty sure you put it in there a few days ago. Didn’t this happen before?
Anyway, you don’t have time for this, so you take an empty envelope and add the money, tossing it on the high ranks’ rack.

Coming back from the mail room, you can’t get your frustrations out of your head.

Levi is avoiding you, all right. You know that. You know that Erwin probably forbade him from talking to you and punished him since his patent is higher than yours. But… God! You and Levi break the rules all the time, you’re used to fucking shit up inside that building with little to no restraints. You just want to see him, talk to him for a minute, tell him about the MP cadets. Fucking hell, since the last time you saw each other, it's been almost two and a half months!
You’re about to slit everyone’s throats.

Levi is about to slit everyone’s throats.
In a hurry, he rummages through Erwin’s office like a maniac. It’s rare to have a few minutes without that bastard Mike behind him; lately that asshole follows Levi everywhere.
Fuck it if Levi can’t be seen around you during the day; if he has that key, he can sneak into your room at night once in a while until this shitstorm goes away.
But apparently, Erwin is a black belt in hiding shit.
Many times, Levi sneaked into that office and no matter how hard he looked, he never found that damn key. But this time he looked even into the books, the chandelier, the loose boards, under the plant vase, the false bottom of the drawer and the false back.

Ugh… ERWIN SMITH…!!!!

You were behaving so well in that underground cell it almost made Levi wish he had a last name to slap it on your ass.
If he doesn’t find that fucking ke—

The doorknob clicks and Levi instinctively throws himself under Erwin’s desk. It doesn’t matter who it is; Levi isn’t supposed to be there rummaging through Erwin’s stuff.

“I told you I’m not going.” You say calmly as you walk to Erwin’s desk.

“I know you’re upset, but pay him a visit sometime?” Armin hesitantly insists, following you. “He spends the entire month locked up. I think his mind is being affected by it.”

“All the more reason for her not to go…” Jean says, following close behind. “Though if she does, I’m going with h— What’s this?” He takes a file from your hand.

Levi doesn’t hear anything for a while. He frowns.

“W… Why do you have this?” Jean stutters.

“Oh, it’s no big deal.”

“No big deal??? It’s my fucking death report!” He squeaks in despair. “Look! It’s my name written on it!!!”

“We’re all gonna die someday anyway, I’m just trying to get rid of time-consuming papers in advance.” You say absentmindedly, carefully lining up the papers for Erwin on his desk.

“TIME-CONSUMING? Oh, I’m very sorry my death will interfere with your break in the future!”

“Death reports are very demanding and teaching the MP asses is ruining my schedule. Jean, don’t be mad, I prepared mine, too. Look.” You smile and bring yours close to your face. “Although I won’t be the one to finish it, I got it ready for the poor soul next in line for paperwork duty.”

“You crazy witch…” Jean mumbles while looking with grief at the file reporting his demise—cause of death still blank.

Interested, after looking at the files you’re carrying—perhaps due to Eren’s influence on him—, Armin notices something.

“There isn’t one reporting Corporal Levi’s death…?”

You smile sadly.

“That's because I hope that the Corporal lives for a long time, way longer than any of us. He’s humanity’s best soldier, after all.”

Jean and Armin look at each other and follow you in silence as you leave the office.
Thoughtful and with shitty guilt in his chest, Levi sighs deeply, burying his face in his hand.

Damn.

Fucking hell…

He hears a loud rustling sound and looks up, seeing Erwin’s shoulders jolt in shock when sitting and looking at him.

It doesn’t matter where they are, the group of the Military Police cadets is always missing one of them.

You’ve tried asking the brats, but they’re always rude and aggressive about it, claiming they’re off-duty. However, they are not fully staffed during many of their classes either. And none of them know why.

That’s something you can ignore once or twice, but not all the time—and with no justification beyond that!
You have to report it both to Erwin and Nile, but you don’t trust the boys to deliver the letter to Nile, so you decide to write to the MP Commander as soon as they leave in a few days, making sure they won’t interfere.

Walking through the corridors, you bump into a massive chest and would have fallen if the person hadn’t grabbed your hand.

“Whoa there…!” Reiner pulls you back, making sure you can stand on your own before releasing your hand. “Sorry, didn’t see you.”

“Reiner,” You raise your clenched fist close to his chin, glaring at him. “you’re sober now, I suppose.”

He blinks twice. Yup, you’re upset. Not knowing you've been on edge since weeks ago, he believes you're like this because he attacked you the other day.

“Yeah, I’m sorry for that… Thanks for not reporting me right away, it saved my ass. If the higher-ups saw me wasted like that I’d be kicked out of the military.” He looks down, embarrassed. “Are you ok? Did I hurt you?”

“Luckily for you, I’m all right.” You cross your arms. “Have you finished your punishment?”

“N-Not yet. Still have a few days of cleaning chores.”

You then approach him to whisper close to his face, covering your mouth with an open hand.

"Anyway, shouldn't you look for professional help?"

He frowns, confused.

"You know… Your drinking problem. I heard from Bertolt that he often has to lock you up because you're wasted."

Reiner blinks once, totally done with it. He quietly glares at Bertolt, who is passing by and immediately feels that he must leave as soon as possible.
Despite being frustrated, Reiner is afraid to open his mouth. Anything he says right now could be extremely compromising. It's better to let things end like this.

"Don't walk around like that ever again. I'll report you to the high ranks right away if I see another terrifying scene like that, you damn pervert."

Reiner quietly gulps; you are extremely severe when angry.
Tense, he nods.

Tsk! Stupid Reiner. You keep going your way, now with loud stomps. You are so angry at everything that you don’t feel like taking it easy on anyone.
Speaking of idiots doing stupid things and to taking it easy on people… It reminds you of something. Of a certain idiot.
You drop your angry shoulders, sighing right after.
Ugh, damn it.
You promised yourself you wouldn’t go, but you always end up feeling bad for Eren. Why are you so soft with him?

The motherfucker asked you to run away with him, so to avoid any legal issues for Eren and you, you decide to go see him alone. It’s a good opportunity to tell the brat to keep his distance, so you want to have this conversation in private.  
Making sure no one is looking, you head to where he is.

He is surprised to see you.
Eren approaches the bars of his cell and only then you notice he looks different.
He’s usually whiny and anxious, but now he looks calm, serious and mature.
Armin was right; being locked up all month is doing something to his head. Even his eyes are weird.

“I thought you wouldn’t come.”

“You told Armin to ask me to, so you had some hopes up.” You stick your hands in your pockets. “You don’t look so good, Eren. Are you feeling sick?”

“I could ask you the same.” He holds one of the bars and approaches even more to look at you. “You have dark circles under your eyes and your face is pale. You lost some weight, too.”

“The current schedule is draining my life force.” You joke, though half serious.

“How are things with the MP cadets?”

Ah. You wish you were having this conversation with Levi. You wanted to hear him ask you that. The painful knot in your throat forces you to swallow hard.

“I…” You scratch the back of your head. “I think they’re up to something. I mean, everyone does think that, but…”

Ahh, you can’t say it. Not this. Not to him.
Suppressing your apprehensive feelings about the past, you tell Eren goodbye and leave. You have to eat and after that, an appointment with Hanji; this is going to be a long night.
Not only were you unable to push the kid away, but you were also carried away by his pace in the conversation. Ugh.
Eren keeps looking at your back as you go.
Yeah… That’s it. He has made up his mind.

Carrying papers around the office, Moblit stops and looks at you working hard at Hanji’s desk as she sleeps soundly, sharing her spot on the couch with tools and piles of papers.
Hanji is so spoiled by the two of you that she just signs the papers now.

“So, you're already at that stage, huh…” Moblit sighs, pitying you.

“What?” The woman gets up in a jump. “Do I have to sign it already?” She wobbles towards Moblit.

“No, Squad Leader, go lie down again.” Moblit leaves the papers on the desk and drags her back to the couch.

“Oh,” She holds her own chin, still completely sleepy. "it’s been almost two years now, right?"

You tilt your head, confused. But Hanji doesn’t appear to be awake enough to continue the conversation, so you believe she’s just delusional due to needing more rest.
After filling out Moblit's report on Eren's latest experiment, you leave Hanji's office and head to your room. On the way, you see four of the MP cadets gathered in a corner of the empty main hall, whispering in a circle.
After curfew? And only four of them?
Ah, that’s too much…

“Can’t you have a chat in your dorm?” You cross your arms.

“I see you have a liking for strolling late at night.” One of them smiles slightly at you. “Nine out of ten nights, you're walking around the building alone. Coming from where, I wonder? What kind of extra work are you doing?”

Ahh… If Levi was here, he’d say ‘where to start off?’.
So, they’re really watching your every move. Wait, that means at least one of them is out of the dorm every night. Also, that insinuation… What a dirty move.
And Hanji keeps carrying out experiments under their noses…! Suddenly, you feel deeply connected to Erwin; none of his subordinates hear him, you feel his pain.

“This is not the backyard of the MP headquarters.” You raise your voice. “I’m your superior officer, you report to me while inside this building.”

They smirk and surround you.
Damn. You played right into their hands, didn’t you?
Being physically cornered like that much reminds you of the last time you had to resort to violence against so many people at once. This is no déjà vu; it’s literally happening again… It makes you certain of something.

“You’d be surprised at the number of rules you’re breaking right now.” Levi crosses his arms, standing behind you all. “The list of punishments is twice as long.”

The five of you jump in place.

Sneaky bast—

“What are you waiting for? Get lost!” He glares at the cadets, who head to their dorm. No one is mad enough to face Levi.

You watch them walk away in hurried steps and then look at Levi with wide eyes. He isn’t looking at you, though, seeming to be peeking out of the corner of his eye at the couch behind him.

You're alone in the now empty main hall. This is your chance to talk to him…! There’s so many topics you have to go through… Where to start off?

“Sir, I…” You fidget, heart beating fast. He finally looks at you and his expression softens immediately.

Suddenly, Levi pulls you and silences you with his mouth, starting with a soft kiss, but already inserting his tongue inside your mouth when you open it to breathe.
Although you resist at first, you surrender to his touches and join the kiss by enlacing your tongue with his.
As the wet sounds fulfill the huge room, his hand goes down to cup your crotch, startling you.

"… Sir!" You shove him, gasping for air. "Someone will see us—" Your eyes roll back when his tongue enters your ear, making you shake with a weird shiver that you are unable to say if it's good or just uncomfortable.

You grab Levi by the wrists and pull him to follow you, heading to his room. On the way, Levi discreetly glances back, but you don't pay attention to it.

In the empty main hall, Eren is left crouched behind one of the large couches. The boy, still covering his mouth with both hands, can't stop the tears from pouring out of his wide, shocked eyes.

Closing the door behind him, Levi wraps you in a clean sheet and embraces you tightly, as if you were going to slip through his fingers.
You blink compulsively, frozen in place.

"I thought we were…” You fidget.

The Corporal opens his eyes and looks at you.

"What? Is that the only thing you think about? Pervert."

“Anyway…!” You clear your throat. “Good timing, I need to talk to you—”

Talk? This is no good for two reasons; first, you two cannot be seen together, or else Erwin will fuck up your life. And the second reason…
Out of despair, that time he simply dragged you down the stairs to the basement and threw you into a cell. Of course, you’re certainly pissed at him, Levi is sure of it.
In the agony of trying to hide you from that brat, Levi kept you locked up for two weeks and, on top of that, ravished you relentlessly as though you were really going to be taken away from him, causing your health to deteriorate dangerously. And yet, back then he was still far from stopping.
As if he hadn’t fucked up enough when he hit you before…

Levi interrupts you by pushing you towards the door.

“Wait, I need to tell you—”

“Out. Not another second here, or that blond dog will sniff around and go bark to Erwin. Now go straight to your room, I’m tired of having to save you all the time.”

"But sir…!"

"Out!"

"I need to talk to you! I really need! What can I do for you to hear me for at least five minutes? Ah, I can tell the Commander I agreed w—"

"Erwin would pull out of his ass another list of broken rules, my penalties would triple and you'd be kicked out." He finally successfully pushes you out of his room, almost causing you to fall.

"Sir—" You turn back to talk to him, but the door slams abruptly. You sigh and reluctantly leave.

With his back against the door, Levi holds the crumpled sheet and buries his face in the white fabric, trying to smell your scent and feel the remaining warmth from it.
Frustrated, he sighs quietly and slightly presses his lips together, wishing he had kissed you one last time before kicking you out.

Meanwhile, Hanji is asleep at her desk, loosely holding a mug of tea.

“Squad Leader!” Moblit whispers in urgency but Hanji doesn’t move. He shakes her, then leans in to whisper closer to her face. “Squad Leader…! Eren isn’t in his cell…”

Hanji stands in a jump, wide eyes red with sleep. The mug—and the cold tea in it—rolls on the floor.

“Are we informing the Commander?” Moblit asks, tense.

Hanji thinks for a moment.

“No. We’ll solve this matter internally and without making a fuss about it. Let’s keep it a secret for now.”

Chapter Text

26. Law of retaliation

You stretch while walking through the corridors early in the morning, still trying to keep alive inside your heart the memories of the few seconds you had with Levi last night.
Everyone is heading to the mess hall, but Hanji and Moblit enter a room and close it.

“Guys, what are you doing?” With a raised eyebrow, you ask as you carefully open the door.

Startled, they look at you. Your eyes go down to the weird short tube in Hanji’s hand.

“We’re hunting!” She smiles, shaking the thing in the air. “Birds! We’re hunting birds.”

“Inside the building…?”

“Yes, with this zarabatana!”

“Z… Zarta… Zaratab—”

“It’s a blowgun.” Moblit interrupts you and looks at Hanji. “Don’t make things complicated.”

“What goes in there?” You look at the zarawhatever.

“Tranquilizer darts.” She says, distracted.

“Won’t that kill the bird? I mean, depending on the needle, it can even impale the poor thing.” You frown and scratch your head.

Hanji gulps and pretends she didn’t hear you, still suspiciously looking for something.
You look at Moblit and he shakes his head negatively at you, then signals to you that Hanji is crazy.

“All righty, see you.” You close the door, not wanting to be dragged into that.

Damn, you could have told Hanji about the Military Police cadets constantly missing class, disappearing for hours and being aggressive towards you. You stupid.
Well, but if she’s in cuckoo mode right now, she wouldn’t listen to you anyway.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Levi’s wide eyes twitch at the paper in his hand.

“Exactly what you heard.” Erwin says calmly. “Cadet Christa Lenz will be assisting you with paperwork again—oh, what’s wrong? You’re sweating terribly.”

“I don’t need help.”

“You said the opposite when I informed you about your punishment.”

“I don’t need Lenz; I can take care of my paperwork just fine.” He grits his teeth.

“No, you can’t. You’ve been missing deadlines for two weeks now.”

“That’s because you’re being stingy about them on purpose, you give me no time.”

“You’d have time if you stayed in your office, instead of sneaking into mine while I’m gone. It’s an order.”

“Look, aren’t I being fucked sideways every single day for inadequate acts toward a female cadet? At least assign to me a male cadet, for fuck’s sake.”

Erwin smiles kindly.

“You’ll be assisted by cadet Lenz. Starting from today.”

The Commander hasn’t had his tea this morning.

God, you want to see Levi… Thinking about him all the time is making his obsession looks like child’s play.
You wonder how Levi would react if he had access to your possessive feelings for him. To be fair, you kind of want to see that handsome face of his scared shitless. At the thought, you chuckle loudly without even realizing it.
Anyway, you had your shitty lunch. Time for paperwork classes! You groan and wobble towards the office with no will.
Half an hour goes by. You check the schedule. Ok, you’re not crazy; you really have an appointment with them.
One hour. Two.

Not a single motherfucker showed up.
What is happening, Goddamnit…!

“Squad Leader, shouldn’t we be keeping an eye on—”

“No, Moblit. This is definitely our priority!”

“What are you doing?” Levi asks slowly, frowning at Hanji and Moblit behaving weirdly in front of Erwin’s office.

Levi tenses up.
Are they watching him? Did Erwin put them on guard to watch the office?
The Corporal scoffs at himself. No, of course, not. Hanji would slack off even on that.
Oh, but Moblit… Levi doesn’t trust the man; he makes up for everything Hanji lacks—this fact alone means a lot.

Being caught again, the two high ranks are surprised once more.
But to Levi Hanji won’t lie; he’s an important asset…!

“And this is why we’re looking for him in secret.” She sighs, distressed. When seeing Levi’s lack of reaction, she gasps. “Could it be…! You already knew???”

Levi crosses his arms and averts his eyes.

“I saw him hiding behind a couch in the main hall last night. Doing a shitty work at it, by the way.”

“T… Then why didn’t you report it to us?” Hanji smiles out of nervousness.

Levi shrugs, uninterested.

“Anyway, you’re helping us, right?”

“I’m busy.” Levi heads to Erwin’s office.

“Oh, he just left—”

The door is slammed shut.
Levi knows. That’s why he’s there.

He has dismissed the blonde brat for the day so he could focus on that shitty office again. He’s sure it’s there, somewhere. Levi already searched Erwin’s room countless times—entering through the window like a pro—, so, it’s definitely in his office.

But again, no luck.

After almost three months without being able to at least see you, his dick feels like it’s about to explode. His desk is being covered by more and more papers as he stands there.
And on top of that, he just wasted another two entire, precious hours.
Levi’s bloody eyes twitch.

From outside, Moblit and Hanji hear the office being destroyed.

With a sigh of frustration, Levi kicks the door open and stomps back to his office.
Fucking Erwin, being petty to death.

Fucking MP cadets, collectively skipping their appointment with you.
You stomp towards the archive room, going to put away the documents you weren’t able the other day.
Striding into the stinking temple of forgotten papers, you heavily bump into Floch.
No, wait—It’s a Military Police cadet.

“What are you doing here?” You ask out of reflex, screaming inside your head because the archive room is a no-no area for them.

When seeing you glancing at the door and taking a step back to turn around, the young man despairs and jumps on you, grabbing you by behind, arm around your neck.
You struggle and throw yourself against the stone wall, making him hit the head and lose the grip around your neck.
Immediately twisting your torso, you land a fist-side punch to his chin.
The cadet falls limply on the floor, hitting his face hard with no resistance.

You grimace.
Ok, that was fast. Perhaps fighting Eren and Reiner has made you tough, after all.

You need to report the little shit skipping classes, spying on official documents and attacking you, but these rats are quick to vanish.
Leaving him in the archive room is not a good idea, but when dragging him down the corridor, you find yourself out of breath and give up on taking the fucker with you, leaving his limp body behind—sprawled in the middle of the way.

You go to Erwin, but not only he isn’t there, his office is so destroyed (by Levi™), it’s almost like a titan chewed it down.

Then there’s no other way; Levi, please be there!
You barge into his office, startling him.

“Sir!”

“Are you insane?! Get out of here!” He gets up, worried about you being seen by Erwin’s minions.

“Listen to me!” You run to him.

“Out!”

“Sir, listen!”

“I know what you’re going to say, all right. You’re angry because I locked you up in the underground and fucked you stupid, I get it.” Levi squints at you, knowing full well that you just can’t let go of the things he does to you.

What? You’re astonished. It takes you a while.
Has he been thinking all this time you hate him for that?

“W-Wha—No! Of course, I’m not!”

What? He looks at you as if you’re the creepy one.
Why don’t you hate him for that?

“I don’t mind being locked up and all, I just don’t like being hit, ok?” You say casually.

With a violent shudder, Levi is once again struck by the realization that maybe you’ve got some loose screws. No, you’ve definitely gone mad at this point, like Erwin predicted you would.
Levi really distorted your mind, didn’t he?
Still in shock, he blinks and clears his throat.

“So, that’s what this is about, then.” He scoffs. “You’re still upset at a few slaps. How childish. Despite it being your own fault.”

You just can’t believe this shit; if he’s going to feel guilty later, why doesn’t he hold back instead of doing extreme things he will regret later?
It seems Levi can’t let go of the things he does either.

“Can you just list—”

He sighs loudly, crosses his arms and closes his eyes, thinking.

“All right, let’s settle this once and for all.” He looks at you. “And after we do that, I won’t accept your tantrums about it anymore.”

“What are you talking abo—”

“Slap me.”

You choke on your own spit.
What is this nonsense…?

“Come on,” Levi ignores your scandal. “you can slap me now as many times as you like, if it's what will make us even again.”

“You’re missing the whole point.” You kind of laugh, still in shock. “It’s not about hurting each other. Let’s forget about things from the past, ok?”

“It's different now, a completely different situation. We're not doing stupid shit because we're angry and out of control. Two calm adults are making a serious agreement.”

You silently shake your head, speechless. He looks at you with tired, but serious eyes.

“After this I won't hurt you again. Not like that time.”

Oh…! Then this means—

"Nor use sex as punishment!" You point your finger at him (wait, why are you starting to consider his offer?).

At it, Levi crosses his arms and goes quiet, expressionless, not intending to agree or deny.
The silence is killing you.

"You have to answer that!" You squeak.

Uninterested, he looks away with raised eyebrows.

"Sir?" You say through gritted teeth, forcing a smile as your right eye twitches.

"I have boring paper to deal with and you have to get the fuck out of here; hurry up and let's get this over with." He ignores your worry.

"What?"

"I won't get mad. It's a deal. I'll take it all." Levi says as he lifts his face a little so you can slap him, arms still crossed.

"A-are we still talking about this???" You take a step back to run away if you need to.

"Hurry up so you can stop being mad." He says in a tired tone, frowning with his closed eyes.

"Of course, I won't do it. It makes no sense."

Levi starts tapping his foot slowly in annoyance.

"Just… Go back to your paperwork, okay? You’re not thinking straight. We’ll talk about this lat—"

"We'll settle this now."

"This is childish…"

"I'm waiting, cadet."

"Waiting to get slapped?! Sir, this isn't funny at all…"

"Hurry. It. Up."

"Sir—"

"Do it, you stupid b—!"

Levi's face is thrown back as your punch hits it.

Your wide eyes look from your closed fist to your superior officer, curved to the side in pain.
Unconsciously, your lips silently mimic 'oh my God'.
Levi groans deeply and covers his face with one hand, standing straight again.

"S… Sor—I can’t take this kind of pressure…!" You change your phrase midsentence. "Don't you ever call me 'bitch' again!"

He slowly raises his head to look you in the eye, the back of his hand still over his nose.

"I was going to say 'brat'." A thin line of blood quickly runs from his nose to his chin.

You blink once and try to move, but your legs feel petrified.

Although Levi has a heavy expression due to pain, he doesn't sound angry. The Corporal silently wipes the blood away with the side of his hand and goes to his desk to get a tissue, then calmly sits at his desk as if nothing happened.
Oh, a man of his word.

Under a cold sweat and too shocked to move, you are left alone by the center table, eyes fixed on your fist.

"Having a big time, aren't you?" He asks, calm and serious, looking at you.

"… What are you talking about?" You look at him and your voice shakes. "Of course, not."

"Is that so?" Levi blinks slowly. "Why the smile, then?"

You take your hand to the mouth, fingertips touching the open smile you hadn't noticed yourself.

"Psycho." Levi scoffs and directs his eyes to the stack of papers before him. He gives a very long sigh, tired. Oh, how he’d rather get punched again than deal with this shit.

Ugh! Not only everyone is ignoring what you have to say, now this absurd situation makes you even angrier!

“Sir, you idiot!” You whine as if you’re about to cry. Levi frowns in confusion and looks at you with shocked, perplexed eyes. “You won’t listen! If something happens later you can’t blame me! Idiot! Stupid Corporal! Military runt! Womanizer!” You yell and slam the door with such strength, one of the paintings on the wall falls on the floor.

The fountain pen slips from Levi’s fingers as he stares at the door, mouth slightly hanging open.
He really wants to yell at you until you go deaf, but you aren’t supposed to even stay in the same room. Chasing you down the corridors right now would draw too much attention.
And… Womanizer? Pff.
What a hypocrite, you just told him to forget about the past, but you’re actually still brooding over it, aren’t you?

God, when you find out that Christa Lenz is assisting him again…
Levi shivers, the color leaving his face.

Hm, but you told him that something might happen later. Were you really trying to warn him of an impending incident instead of bitching about unimportant stuff? Levi ponders and decides to look for Erwin; the Commander must have already returned to his office.

“Oho, Levi! Paperwork is hitting you hard, isn’t it?” Hanji laughs as she passes Levi on his way to Erwin’s office.

“Shut up, shitty-glasses…” Levi clicks his tongue and carefully touches his red nose, still awfully painful. He sighs in annoyance and enters Erwin’s office.

“Levi, great timing, do you—Oh, paperwork is getting dangerous these days, I see. I should be more careful, too.”

“Shut up, Erwin…” Levi grinds his teeth.

“Do you know who messed up my office? Look, it’s all trashed…” Erwin shakes his head, devastated.

“You sure it wasn’t the girl?” Levi deadpans and points at the door with his thumb. “I saw her stomping around a minute ago.”

“Ah, so it was her who destroyed it.” Erwin’s smile makes Levi even angrier because he knows the Commander isn’t talking about the office.

The Corporal sighs.

"The brat hit me with her non-dominant hand and yet almost broke my no—"

Levi suddenly becomes quiet.
Erwin finds it odd and stops gathering his papers to look at the shocked Corporal, wide eyes lost in thoughts.

"Is something the matter, Levi?"

"… She lied."

"About a few things, yes, but your point?"

"No, no, no, no." Levi shakes his head. "Her time at the Garrison. She's been lying about it."

"You think so?" Erwin internally laughs at Levi being pushed to an epiphany after having his brain shaken by your punch. "Something we should be concerned about?"

Levi immediately goes to Erwin's archive and starts rummaging through, looking for something.

"Levi, get out of there." Erwin warns calmly but he is serious. "Not even you are allowed to look at those."

"Shut it, Erwin. Where did you put it?" He grumbles. "Here."

Levi picks up a file and opens it while walking over to Erwin, who only sighs, tired of not being heard by his subordinates. He moves closer to see the pages Levi is flipping through.

"Why the sudden interest in this? You complained so much when we first had to read it."

"Because the Garrison bastards sent an entire novel to explain why they kicked out their shitty soldier." Highly focused, Levi mumbles as he turns the pages quickly. He suddenly stops when finding what he was looking for and reads a few lines in a hurry.

"Well, indeed…" Erwin laughs weakly, remembering the boring text. "They were quite indirect in explaining some simple things. It makes me wonder if whoever wrote it lacks writing skills. Twenty-five pages merely to say she didn't fit in Garrison because she's clumsy."

"She's clumsy, all right. We know that well enough." Levi shoves the open file in Erwin's face. "Low grades and shit skills for killing titans, holding blades or participating in any physical activity, yet somehow she seriously injured seven trained cadets and one superior officer, the only one whose name isn't mentioned."

"All right…" Erwin blinks, reading the paper that is almost touching his face.

"You don't transfer a soldier like that, Erwin, you kick her out of the military with a restraining order shoved up her ass." Levi pulls back the file, reading it again and shaking his head. "It was during working hours, which means everyone involved had their equipment on to defend themselves. Plus, it says it was an accident. How do you almost commit genocide by accident with a BLADE? She didn't just trip over her own foot."

"You're saying they purposely wrote a confusing and wordy report to conceal something while still being obliged to mention the incident. Then it’s not just her lying about it, the Garrison also has something to hide."

"Their low-grade fighter single-handedly beat Eren in heat and that blond boar that is always hitting on her. Although the blond brat was apparently drunk and might not have been too much of a challenge, it hardly was mere luck to win a fight against Eren, who was trying to rape her out of blind instinct. She’s weak, but has gone through three years of training. In the same report, it’s said she can’t even hold blades, but she almost killed eight people. Unskillful soldier or serial killer," From a distance, he throws the report at Erwin's chest, forcing the Commander to hold it. "which one?"

"I see. We failed to notice the inconsistencies at first because it's long and we never had actual time to fully read the thing through, but the text really is written in an odd way." Erwin straightens the document, turning the pages more carefully than Levi. "It's always 'the cadet supposedly did this or that', such a careful wording." He puts a hand to his chin, thoughtful. "It makes you think they're trying hard not to upset someone."

"Even if it’s just shitty writing, this story makes no sense."

Just where in the world is Erwin?????
You looked every-fucking-where. Is he taking a dump? Because you checked even the public bathrooms (men screaming in shock all the way, how annoying)!

As you run through the HQ, you get the feeling of seeing a silhouette quickly passing by in the distance.

“Eren?” You double-take, not seeing anything when checking again.

What? Of course not, Eren is permanently locked while the MP cadets are in the building.
Speaking of which, once you find them…!
All of your accumulated anger is going to culminate in murder. Poor soul, the one who gives the final push and shall receive the full charge.
It’s all in your hands, lady Destiny. Choose the fucker at will.

Anyway, is Erwin done with his endless dump?
You’ll try to check his office one last time.

But as you walk, you get the feeling of seeing Eren again.
This can’t be right. You head to where your peripheral vision has detected him going, but you end up in an empty corridor.

The only open door in that corridor is… The archive room.
You really don’t want to go in there right now, but you hesitantly do so, looking around compulsively like prey in predatory territory.

You jump when hearing a voice.

"There you are, you lying bi—brat!" Levi stutters, unconsciously touching his nose in reflex as he enters the room and walks towards you, followed by Erwin, who carefully closes the doors behind him.

Erwin…! Fucking finally, the bastar—
You frown in confusion, keeping silent until they reach you.

"A dumbass brat like you, who doesn't exercise as little as necessary to avoid cramps when stretching,” Levi crosses his arms. “to suddenly be able to fight and immobilize Eren Yeager in heat by herself, to beat the crap out of a huge drunk cadet trained in close combat, and then almost break my nose with your non-dominant hand—"

"I'm sorry, sir, but you're the one who aske—"

"Shut it." Levi shakes his finger at you while Erwin peeks at Levi, curious about the 'asked for it' part. "You're useless with exercises and related activities, but you're still a trained soldier. You’re used to making use of violence to defend yourself, not a complete dead weight like the Garrison claimed. I know your shitty stamina very well,” Focused on his lecture, Levi is unaware of Erwin and you averting your eyes at his weird statement. “but when it comes to quick hand-to-hand combat you can pull something off."

You swallow hard and your mouth is dry.

"There are lots of worthless soldiers like you in the Garrison, as it's the division that receives new members the most. A cadet passing out from too much sun on the head is the last thing they care about." Levi frowns. "What really happened in the incident mentioned in that report? Why did they kick you out of the Garrison?"

With a blank face, you blink once.

"Sir, now it's not the time, I have to—"

Levi grabs your collar.

"Levi, wait." Erwin puts his hand on Levi's shoulder but the Corporal evades it.

"Who did you pick a fight with?"

You avert your eyes, upset and hesitant. After a moment, you give up; after all, he's the one you want to tell this to.

"I hurt a superior. A big shot."

"We know that."

"It… Wasn't an accident."

The grip on your collar falters.

"She really despises me." You say, now looking down. "And I'm not fond of her, either."

"The report mentioned more people were injured." Erwin's voice is serious.

"People tried to separate us. I don't know how many I hurt or how many she hurt, but the blame for injuring everyone fell on me. She wouldn't take responsibility if she wanted to keep her position."

Levi releases you, still staring seriously at you, barely blinking.

"They could have just expelled you, then." Erwin says.

"Other high ranks were nearby and they saw she started it all. They also saw her picking on me every day before the incident. After the fight, they kind of made an agreement among themselves on what to do and say. So, it was said to be an accident, I’d be blamed for everything but wouldn't be expelled. They transferred me to another function, so I spent my days in the sun, cleaning and reloading cannons. Yet, she was still after me, so those high ranks decided to transfer me to any other division before the worst happened."

"… Why does she hate you?" Levi asks, now calmer but not looking at you. He asked you, but deep down he already knows the reason.

"… I didn't know at the time… That my ex was married. He was very young and never said a word about it. He always bragged about being in the Garrison and having an easy life there, which is why I tried and joined the military, too. I ended up on his team by sheer luck, and our direct superior officer was his wife. Nobody knew about it, because in order to stay on the same team, they got married in secret. I was so happy back then, if I only knew…"

Levi is frowning, but you know he is not mad at you for what you just said. He sighs through his nose.

"I see." Erwin analyzes. "So, this is why you were banned from using blades, you used it to purposely attack a superior."

"Even with the blades in hand, I took a beating I'll never forget." You force a chuckle. "It looks like I can beat guys better than girls. Girls' fights are scary… We both really tried to kill each other there, it was really humiliating…"

"How high is her rank?" Erwin sounds interested.

"High, like, really high. Only a few with a high patent are nearly as powerful and influential as Commander Pixis, and I believe she makes the list.” You shrug at them. “Picture in your head a very powerful woman in her mid-30s, married to a low rank 19-year-old brat. Due to the scandal, he never managed to get promoted to avoid repercussions, as many people were opposed to the way the situation was resolved. And…” You hesitate for a moment. “I heard he died on the front lines during the Trost incident. You know, the one where Eren sealed the gate with a boulder in his titan form."

Erwin and Levi stare at you in morbid silence.

“… I haven’t had any contact with him since I found out he was married, ok? A former colleague came here to tell me.” You look away.

All dates coincide; when Eren arrived and started to be disputed between the divisions and also when the Garrison's requests for retrieving you began. Everything started to fall apart after that event, and now they know who Nile's sponsor is.

A single death triggered it all.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore." You stare at the floor.

"This is why you have been hiding things from us…?" Levi's wide eyes are fixed on you. "You're ashamed because you think it's your fault, you idiot." He concludes, incredulous.

Well… You really don't think it's anyone else's fault except yours.
That one time she caught you and your ex together, you found out he was married to her. You broke off contact with him immediately, but the woman kept trying to ruin your life. After you were transferred, things calmed down a bit.
But the dude was banned from being promoted, which forced him to stay forever as a low rank cadet, always on the front lines. And that made him die in combat that day.
He deceived both you and his wife, but technically, you’re the key piece, and therefore responsible for everything else that happened to that couple.
Even now, your bad choices are still inflicting consequences on other people’s lives; the entire Survey Corps is facing the punishment you should have been enduring alone.

"We are aware that the Garrison has been cooperating with the Military Police to remove you and Eren out of the Survey Corps. If you know something else about the matter, tell us." Erwin stares at you with scary eyes, upset that you have hidden such information for so long. "Don't let personal grudges get in the way of your job."

"But what I have to say doesn't concern Eren directly…" You hesitate. “It’s all personal stuff.”

Erwin's intimidating eyes make you fidget.

"Although I was the one who suggested orientation lessons…" You bite your lower lip and look anxious at the two superior officers. "That cadets aren't here under the Military Police merely to learn paperwork and eventually spy on the Survey Corps…"

Levi blinks.

"They're here to put pressure on me and incite me to be expelled."

"Why do you think so?" Erwin's deep voice is almost a whisper.

"There was a time when that high rank woman paid some soldiers to annoy me so I would fight back and hack them to shreds, then she'd have a reason to end my career as a soldier."

"Did you beat them?" Erwin asks, oddly curious.

"Hell yes. But I only exploded because they went too far. So, it was considered self-defense by most of the high ranks."

"Is that so…"

"The MP brats are behaving very similarly, but they’re being way more careful. That woman is awfully vengeful but very cunning, no way would she use the same tactic twice for nothing; she must be trying to trigger something else. If I am no longer a soldier, the MP can simply arrest me and force me to speak.”

"This is very concerning." Erwin calmly states.

"Don't worry, Commander," you start.

The doors are suddenly kicked open.

"EEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR—" Hanji jumps in.

"since you'll eliminate me if I fail,"

"—WWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!"

"let’s make sure I don't."

Your light expression doesn't match the weight of your words.
Erwin and Levi look at Hanji, who manages to get between you and Erwin, her face almost glued to the Commander’s.

"WE HAVE A PROBLEM; YOU HAVE TO COME AND HELP US WITH IT!" She holds one of Erwin's strong arms and dramatically throws her weight back. "OR ELSE I'LL HAVE TO SET MOBLIT INTO COMBAT MODE!"

"I'm extremely interested in seeing Moblit this way." You joke and Moblit glares at you.

“What’s wrong, Hanji?” Erwin asks, having no energy left to deal with her shenanigans.

“Eren is missing!” She forces a smile. Erwin’s eyebrow goes up; usually not a good sign.

“Since when?”

“Almost a whole day…”

“And why am I only now being informed of this?”

Tense, Moblit and Hanji shrink their shoulders, looking at each other.

“We intended to find him by ourselves not to worry anyone but…” Moblit gulps. “The Military Police cadets have just discovered that Eren's cell is empty. I don’t know how they got in there…”

Erwin’s eyes widen. Not a good sign, either.

“And there’s another thing…” Hanji starts and Erwin’s bloodied eyes dart at her, making her shiver. “Eren probably got violent, we found an unconscious MP cadet on the floor on our way here.”

“Ah, no. That was me.” You casually raise your hand. Everyone looks at you and you snarl at them. “That’s what I have been trying to tell you all this time. The brats are skipping classes and rummaging through the archive room, probably searching for some juicy document related to the experiments on Eren.”

“If that’s the case, I’m issuing an order to keep them under arrest until further notice.” Erwin says firmly.

“Fucking finally.” You and Levi say in unison.

27. Letters

The next day, in Erwin's office and surrounded by papers, Levi and the Commander are sitting in the armchairs by the center table, quietly checking what they have gathered about the woman so far.

Levi can’t believe it. How could you hide something important like that? It's understandable that you didn't want your new bosses to know about personal stuff that messed up your whole life, but at least you should have told HIM. Why didn't you?

Was it because he got angry at the ex-boyfriend subject? Or were you just too ashamed of it? Did you think it wasn't important?

Levi clicks his tongue.
You're always like that, aren't you?

'Oh, it's nothing, just a simple thank you gift'—BAM, fucking expensive fountain pen.
'Oh, it's just a mug, nothing fancy at all'—BAM, fine ass quality matching mugs.
'Oh, what's worrying me? Nothing, really'—BAM, one of the highest ranks in the Garrison is after your head and teamed up with the Military Police to get what she wants.

Ugh, you're so annoying, Levi can't stand this about you.

The woman is willing to bend the Survey Corps over a table and disgrace it; reveal in court its secret illegal experiments and other confidential matters—which every military division has—, merely to extract two brats from it and share the bounty with Nile, that rat.

Levi is worried. Even if Nile and the high rank can’t snatch you and Eren through Zackly, they will certainly coerce you by other methods. You have a shit ton of people you care about at home, using them to threaten you would be enough to make you change your mind and cooperate with the MP. You know everything the Survey Corps has to hide; your cooperation is the only thing that couple of jerks needs.

And if you do… Erwin will kill you before that mad woman does.
Eren’s idea doesn’t sound so bad for the Corporal now; if it’s to save your life, maybe… Maybe you and Levi could ru—

No.
Levi discreetly shakes his head. He won’t think about it.

Again, Levi flips through the file containing information regarding the woman. There's not much that can be of use.

The only bastard who they could take advantage of to blackmail her was eaten alive by a titan at Trost, and she apparently doesn't have parents or close relatives either.
Considering the details you have given them, it appears that the woman is a hard-working orphan who made it to the top with legitimate effort, while also investing in good connections with the higher-ups.
In the eyes of Zackly—and other military authorities—, she has a heartbreaking story of orphanhood, followed by an enviable and immaculate reputation for her clean career.
No wonder the Garrison omitted her name from that report. Just how influential is she, anyway???

"Erwin, she's still a woman. Put that thing to use and seduce her." Levi points at the Commander’s crotch with his head.

Erwin laughs heartily.

There’s a knock at the door and the other high ranks enter Erwin’s office.
Mike and Levi quietly glare at each other for a brief moment and the Commander stands up with his papers in hand, ready to start the meeting. Levi leaves silently before they start.

After a few minutes, You, Hanji and Moblit arrive to join the meeting as well.
You’re all standing in a circle in the center of the office, listening to Erwin say what you all know so far, sharing the details of your former boss' influence on everything that's happening to them.
It seems that Zackly is very fond of her, seeing her almost as a daughter, or a little girl who he still secretly pities. They have been good friends for a few years now, so if she asks him for something, he's more likely to allow it and at full speed.
The Survey Corps must be careful not to trigger anything that may give her that chance.

However—Erwin sighs quietly, tense at the thought—, you already activated one of the traps she set; one of your students was visibly hurt by you. No witnesses.
The other four are what worries the Commander the most.

“Have you located the Military Police cadets?” Erwin asks.

“We can’t find them anywhere since yesterday’s occurrence. The last one I saw was the one I fought inside the archive room.”

“And, where is he?”

“Secured in the infirmary, still unconscious. As the others disappeared, we were afraid they would take him away, so there are soldiers guarding him as we speak.” Hanji says.

“Do you think the four remaining cadets managed to kidnap Eren?” Moblit wonders out loud.

You laugh.

“Nah, they pose as tough but are weak. I don’t believe they have ever interacted with Eren yet. Unless they had some drug with them, Eren would have left them at death’s door.”

“Why don’t we use our friend here as bait to capture Eren?” Hanji suggests, pointing at you with an open hand.

“I’m against it.” Mike says firmly. “It’s too dangerous. We don’t know Eren’s state of mind right now, there’s no way we can predict what might happen.”

But both you and Erwin are deeply thinking about it.
When seeing Mike is about to get upset, Erwin informs them that they will discuss it later, and then tells the high ranks to check the entire building for Eren and the Military Police cadets.
This is no time to make a fuss about Eren's escape, everyone must be discreet about it.

To find Eren, to find the Military Police cadets, to avoid commotion—Erwin’s orders before ending the meeting.
However, when you look back as you close the office door, the high ranks are still inside, waiting in silence, with no intention of leaving.

Is the meeting going on without you?

Even if time is running out, you don’t think it’s wise to look for Eren and the MP cadets on your own while there’s still no agreement between Erwin and the high ranks, so you decide to stay put until they end their stupid secret meeting.
Heading to your room, you feel ashamed. That situation from the past; it finally came back to bite you—and every single one of your bosses knows about it now. Unsure if you can manage to even look Levi in the eye the next time you see each other, you lock the dark wooden door of your room.

Sighing and looking at the bed, you don’t feel like sleeping, reading or relaxing at all; your head is a mess right now.
Directing your eyes to your desk, squeezed between the fiction books, lie paper and ink—Ah, right. Out of anxiety, you wrote to your family last night. Poor guys, they’ll be worried about you if they read that letter.
According to the weekly postal schedule, the HQ is still three days away from dispatching the letters, so you believe you should either replace that frightened message or write another one to tell them things are not that bad—even though they are.

You don't feel like rewriting everything, so you do your best to pretend you cleared your head and feel better now. Not a great job you did there, but meh, kinda ok.

However, when going to insert the second letter into the envelope in the mail room, you once again realize that yours is gone, while everyone else's is in the right place.

No, seriously, what is going on? It's the third time this has happened, right? What the hell…
Wait, it can only be them; the MP motherfuckers. It takes you only a moment to project inside your head all the bad things they can do and plan merely by intercepting the letters to your family.
You clench your fists, feeling now your stomach burn with anger. That’s it.
Everyone else is busy, no one will see you. Time to make diplomatic authorities shiver from head to toe.

Judging by how they vanished into thin air, the MP brats probably left the building. You won’t run into any of them inside the HQ.
With no hesitation, you stick a crowbar—Hanji’s office really has everything, poor Eren—between the lock and the door frame and ruin the wooden door open, not caring that you destroyed it.

Stepping in, you immediately check if there’s no one in the room. All clear.
All of their belongings are still there, so they left without carrying anything. It appears they left in a hurry and there are no traces of syringes or medications, making it unlikely that they took Eren with them.

Digging a little further, deep under one of the beds, you find a large leather bag filled with countless letters, all from the same sender, and you know these initials very well; your famous ex-boss.

Your heart sinks.

There are a lot of letters they received from her… They communicated with her all this time and with extreme frequency.
From what you're reading in her letters to them, the content doesn't make much sense, is it coded?
How had those who checked the MP cadets' letters never noticed such a suspicious exchange of messages? Each of their letters would normally be verified before being sent from the HQ.

No.
You've never seen any letters from them when posting yours, and you’re writing weekly to your family, you’d know.
There’s always a cadet absent, sometimes more than one at once. The MP cadets can leave the HQ freely once they get Erwin’s approval.

“They communicate with her daily… And post the letters outside the HQ…” You say under your breath.

Perhaps even so as not to raise suspicions about the amount of letters from the same person, receiving some of them outside as well.
Weird. If they’re communicating with her frequently, why leave the HQ in such a hurry, then? Did they know they’d be arrested?
You look around, looking for something to help you think.
Beside the desk, a single crumpled paper lies in the trash can.

It’s a discarded draft. A letter written at such a hurried pace it's hard to read, but you can make out the words.
Your mouth drops open; according to this, when rummaging through Hanji’s second office, they found a detailed report on all the experiments performed on Eren Yeager.

Of course; in both Hanji's main and second offices, there are secret, forbidden, private, illegal documents scattered.
But a single document that covers all experiments? That’s certainly the report that Moblit works on all the time. The… All-in-one… Compilation…
Shit.
You feel your stomach going cold.

The last sentence of the letter is interrupted, so you squint and turn the paper to the side, trying to understand the terrible handwriting.
You gasp, identifying the words “Yeager escaped” and then “she knocked one”.

That’s it, they have everything to take the Survey Corps down…
Once the documents reach Zackly, it will be the end.

Now you understand why they left: they gave up writing and decided to run away and tell her those urgent matters in person, with that also avoiding arrest as Hanji and Moblit caught them rummaging in Eren’s (empty) cage.
No need to play cadets at the Survey Corps HQ anymore.

Holding the leather bag tightly under your arm and with the discarded draft in your hand, you run to Erwin, bumping into him as you turn down a corridor.

Only when you show him the bag, trying to organize your thoughts to speak, do you realize that the woman’s letters can’t be used as evidence of collusion in court.
According to the draft, the MP cadets bluntly wrote whatever they wanted because the letters were sent out of the HQ, but since hers were checked before being delivered to them, she coded them all.
Of course, she did. You’re the stupid one here, not her. She climbed to the top because she is as cunning and as intelligent as Erwin.

“Sir…!” Terrified, you gasp and bring the crumpled draft to the Commander’s surprised face, the letters in the bag falling to the floor as you speak. “They have the experiments reports—”

“Commander, Sir!” Calling Erwin urgently, a wide-eyed Survey Corps cadet interrupts you with an official envelope in hand.

“That’s what I feared. I felt something like that was coming our way.” Beside you, Erwin says tensely and in a low tone, only for his high ranks to hear. “This is an official note directly from Zackly.”

Hanji has her hand over her mouth the whole time. Moblit, however, hasn’t been moving since he saw the fancy envelope in Erwin’s hand. He’s kind of pale. Probably his soul left his body a while ago.

“Erwin…!” Mike puts his hand to his head. “This will go much bigger than just taking Eren from us… We have to—!”

“I refuse to panic.” Erwin says firmly, making everyone even quieter. “You’re right, Mike, it’s even worse than we imagined. It’s stated that a high rank was assigned to personally come to the HQ to put order in the house, as Eren Yeager was reported to have fled the headquarters, the secretary became aggressive and took down a MP soldier and unconfirmed rumors about documents relating to illegal experiments on the titan shifter, which will be further investigated by this high rank.” Erwin folds the letter. “There’s no name written here, but we all know who’s coming.”

You hear many loud gulps and mumbled curses.
You’re all damned.

“All of that, including the signed order, would normally take about two weeks, but everything was done in half a day.” Erwin puts the envelope back into the pocket of his jacket. “According to the order signed by Zackly, the assigned high rank will have the power to decide what happens. This woman really has connections in the military.”

“Wait.” You say loudly, frowning right after. “They have the documents, why is she coming here? Why weren’t they forwarded directly to Zackly? He mentioned the experiments as mere rumors. There’s no need to investigate anything, Zackly only has to issue a sentence.”

Erwin thinks for a moment, hand on his chin.

“They don’t have the papers.”

“How?” Mike holds your shoulder, pointing at you with his free hand. “The letter she got said they had it.”

“It said they found it.” Erwin looks at him. “Since that woman is coming here to investigate, it probably means the documents are still in the building. They phrased it like that to trigger an investigation and ensure she’ll have the freedom to walk around and secure it.”

The high ranks’ eyes widen even more.
But you knew it, that’s what she initially intended with that hearing from months ago.

“But why did they find it but not take it with them?” Hanji frowns. “Why to flee overnight without the key piece?”

“Your vigilance was successfully smothering them, limiting their actions. They probably got their hands on it, but were interrupted and had to hide it quickly before leaving.” Erwin looks at you. “Since the four who fled didn’t have it…”

“The one in the archive room…!” You gasp.

“I may be wrong, but it’s the most likely possibility. This means that they all knew about it and that a specific cadet was responsible for hiding it until it was safe to retrieve it.” He ponders out loud.

“And as an investigation to be conducted was mentioned, they don't know where he hid it.” You nervously tap your fingers on your own lips. “Because the one who did it was knocked out right after hiding it and was put in a guarded infirmary where they couldn’t get in, so they decided to leave the HQ.”

“So, there’s still hope.” Nanaba sighs with a hand over her heart.

“It’s complicated, actually. As always, it’s a gamble.” Erwin looks at Nanaba. “She’s coming here to carry out three procedures: 1) Arrest the secretary for attacking a cadet from another division while he was on duty, 2) Confirm that Eren Yeager isn’t inside a secluded cage, which will revoke our right to keep him and 3) Investigate rumors of illegal experiments on him, evidence she will have enough once she gets her hands on the hidden documents.” He shows three raised fingers, then lowers two of them, letting only the index finger raised. “If the last two fail, she still can win with the first one, as the aggression has no witnesses and therefore cannot be denied or confirmed. It all depends on how we handle the matter; our first bet lies on this.” The Commander looks at you. “How is she regarding business in person?”

“Brutal…” You say, absentmindedly, traumatizing memories coming back to haunt you.

Erwin blinks once.

“We’ll be good.” He folds his arms, looking tense. “Even if she leaves the Garrison HQ at this very moment, she'll only arrive in a few days. We have to arrange things. Before thinking about anything else, we must find Eren first. The headquarters is heavily guarded during the MP cadets’ stay, so it’s highly likely that Eren is still in the building.” Erwin turns to Hanji. “Gather all high ranks and soldiers outside. You have ten minutes.”

While everyone runs, Moblit finally moves and shyly walks over to Erwin.

“Commander, sir…” He looks down, still pale. “It’s all our fault… Squad Leader and I haven’t done our watch on the MP cadets properly. We also left experiments reports on sight. I thought we had hidden all of them, but I was wrong. Not to mention we failed to keep Eren locked in his cell. I can’t apologize enough.”

“Don’t worry, Moblit.” Erwin doesn’t look at the man while speaking. “Now it’s not the time to point fingers at each other. You weren’t the only ones to fail in your mission.” Erwin’s eyes are fixed on Mike’s back, already far away. “Other people also had their hands full and didn’t follow the cadets properly.”

‘What about the pointing fingers thing?’ You think to yourself as you pass them.

With the whole personnel gathered outside, now out loud, the Commander emits an order for all the cadets inside the HQ to localize and seize Eren Yeager.

28. Heart-to-heart

It's been two days since all the Survey Corps soldiers have been looking for Eren nonstop.
You got to give him that; the brat is good at hiding. How is the entire building being monitored and no one finds him? How is he dealing with sleep, food and bathroom?

You glance at Mikasa, who is quietly passing you in the main hall after breakfast.

Yeah, you know how.
You’re not sure about Armin, but Mikasa is definitely assisting Eren. Before any division, any superior, anyone, she’s deeply loyal to the titan shifter. You don’t trust her on looking for him, honestly.

But it also means Eren is indeed at the HQ, otherwise Mikasa certainly would have followed him.
Just like Levi regarding your disappearance; Mikasa is way too calm about the most important person in her life running away and being sentenced to execution for it.

Wait, does that mean the silhouette you saw a few days ago was actually Eren, after all?
When you followed him that day, you were led to the archive room.

The soldiers have checked the archive room countless times, but how certain can one be when checking a room full of bookshelves nearly fifty feet high? It’s not impossible for him to safely hide on top of them for days.
The big-ass window would also allow him to leave, or even someone to come in to bring him food without being noticed or looking suspicious, and if it’s a talented soldier with a 3DM gear on…

Yup, definitely worth checking it again.
However, you don’t want to cause Mikasa any harm, nor do you want to trigger her to warn Eren to change places in advance. Therefore, you’ll mention this possibility to a high rank privately.

Well, you don't even have to think about who you're going to tell; Erwin’s busy, Levi’s avoiding you, Mike will make a fuss about it. Hanji it is.
Not that she’s reliable, but Moblit on the other hand…

Looking for them, you enter Hanji’s second office, but it’s empty. Hm, weird, it was unlocked, though.
You look around and the room feels eerie, somehow. Piles of books and papers are blocking most of the window, making the place kind of dark, despite the half-closed curtain already doing the job. The sinister silence is making your heart race.

No, there’s something wrong there, definitely.

Walking slowly to make as little noise as possible, you carefully look under the desk.
Nothing but papers.

Your eyes dart all around the room. Not only is there this ominous presence; it’s like you can almost hear a very quiet breath in the air as well.

Holding your breath, you quietly approach the curtain, your fingers about to touch it.
Before you can grab the fabric, the person hiding behind it attacks you, already squeezing your neck while pushing you against the wall.

Ah… There you go again…

You yelp and gasp for air while digging your nails into the hands choking you.
The room is dimly lit, but up close you can see him clearly.
Floch Forst—of course, not.

“You little…!” You let out a choked curse at the MP cadet attacking you while you try to reach his face with a trembling hand.

He’s as scared as you are, but is determined to keep going until you lose consciousness or drop dead. After all, you can be unexpectedly dangerous when forced into close combat.

Only three of them left the building, then? One of the cadets stayed behind to keep looking for documents in case they lost what was already hidden, huh. Just like Eren, he has been hiding inside that huge building for days. And wearing a Survey Corps jacket, no less!
So, this is how the jerk walks around without drawing attention.

But, unlike the other you beat, this cadet is more careful to keep a certain distance from you, preventing your hands and feet from reaching him; he doesn’t want to end up like his unconscious colleague.
You feel your consciousness slipping away, but suddenly the MP cadet groans loudly in pain and the grip around your neck disappears.

You drop to your knees with your hand over your throat, coughing and gasping for air, vision still blurry from almost fainting.

The cadet screams in horror.

“Eren Yeager!” He pushes away the titan shifter who’s attacking him and dashes out of the room.

“Huh? Ere—” Your mouth is covered by his hand, forcing you to breath loudly through your nose.

Still keeping you from talking, Eren pulls you up and runs away from the office, dragging you with him.
You’re still dizzy, not understanding what’s going on. Looks like you entered another room. Ah, it’s the office where you teach the brats.

Eren slowly uncovers your mouth.
Half-lidded eyes and still breathless, you keep quiet, trying to regain your vision as you breathe.

“Are you hurt? Can you stand?” He asks in a low voice.

You signal an open hand to him, with it telling him you’re all right.

“Good…” He sighs, relieved, already cupping your face. “I knew I should have killed them when I got the chance. I was determined to do it, but ended up only running away.”

“… Kill?” You take his hand away from your face, making him frown.

“Are you pitying them? You’re lucky I was following you, otherwise, you’d be dead now.”

“Were you following me?”

“Yeah. My heat is close, so I can smell you in the distance.”

You grimace and shake your head, now feeling less numb.

“Eren, let’s go back, ok? Everyone is worried about you.”

He scoffs.

“Worried about that woman arresting you and taking me away, you mean.”

Ah, he indeed was at the archive room at the time when you told Erwin and Levi what happened in the past.

“But don’t you worry about her. Once she’s here, I’ll kill her and the cadets too.”

“What are you talking about?” You sigh, tired and scared. “Don’t be silly.”

“So much compassion for those who are trying to kill you.” Eren grabs your face with one hand, now way less gently than his previous touch. “Wanna spare their lives? Come with me, then. We’re leaving now.”

“Again with this?” You try to free yourself, but he tightens the grip. “I’m not going anywhere. Eren, stop, you’re hurting me.”

Irritated, Eren throws you to the ground, already straddling you before you understand what is happening.

“You’re wrong.” He says coldly. “I’m leaving and taking you with me, like it or not. If you’re willing to call for help, I’ll put you to sleep.”

“I’m sure Mikasa doesn’t know about your plan, otherwise she’d never help you…!” You force your hand on his chest to push him away, but he doesn’t even move.

“Mikasa is better off without me.” He takes the hand that pushes him and brings it to his lips, kissing it. “But even if it’s the same for you, I refuse to let you go.”

The kiss on your hand makes your skin crawl in utter fear and horror. The mere thought of someone other than Levi touching you causes you to panic, afraid the Corporal will find out.
Levi trained you well.

With your heart racing, your voice trembles as you speak.

“I can’t, I won’t… I have a fiancé…”

Eren lets out a weak mocking laugh.

“Yeah, right. A fiancé you never write to or even mention in the letters to your family.”

With an open mouth and wide eyes, you look at Eren, incredulous.

“It was you… You stole three of my letters…”

“Three? No, no, I took all of them.” He admits, not feeling an ounce of shame. “I've been intercepting your letters for a few months now, so I'm sure to say that you're not committed to anyone and you don't even have anyone waiting for you in your hometown.” Eren frowns, his eyes now going dark. “That, or you’re a very filthy woman who cheats on her fiancé with her boss.”

Your stomach turns.
All right… It seems Eren saw you and Levi at some point.
Does that mean… There’s no more need for lies now? To be honest, it’s almost a relief—if it weren’t for the terrifying-looking young man locking you to the ground with his own body, with a very frightening expression on his face.

“Eren, I—”

You’re interrupted by his lips on yours, shamelessly kissing you and letting out embarrassing loud sounds.

No, no, no, no, no, no… Levi will kill you.

Desperate, you try to push him away with both hands. Despite your efforts, you make him move away only enough to break the kiss.

“What? Do you only mess around with Corporal Levi? Are you his personal mistress or something?”

Unable to summon the strength to say anything, you wipe your mouth with the inside of your wrist, hand visibly trembling.
In the next moment, you find yourself crying.

Eren sighs, his angry face being overwhelmed with sadness. He clicks his tongue.
The boy remembers well how Levi was always overprotective of you. How he was the one who came up with the fiancé story.
This is not a frustrated, one-sided love like his own.

“Are you and the Corporal…?”

Lying on the floor and covering your eyes with your forearms crossed over them, you hesitantly shake your head positively.
The boy moans in frustration, scratching his head compulsively in despair.
Though you don't see him, you hear Eren cry too, sobbing painfully while still on top of you.

“I’m sorry, Eren…” You take your arms from your face to look at him, swallowing hard to be able to speak. “The fiancé thing was just to make you give up without breaking your heart.”

“Without breaking my heart? Are you stupid? You did it countless times!” Anger returns to his crying face. “What were you sparing me of?”

“… I didn’t want to have to tell you that I only see you as a friend.” You gently push Eren away, making him kneel in front of you. You sit up and wipe your tears.

“I don’t want you as a friend. It’s not enough; I want you as a woman.” He says while shaking his head in denial, refusing to accept what you just said. “You always forgive me for everything, you always soften again, no matter what I do! I’m sure if we live together somewhere else, just the two of us, you’ll love me back someday.”

“I won’t…!” You sob.

He grabs your wrist, frustrated tears rolling down his face.

“No, you will. I’ll make sure you do.”

It pisses you off.

“I’ll be unhappy for all my life if you take me away from him…” You uselessly pull your wrist back, only causing Eren to tighten the grip. “And I’ll give my best to turn your life into a living hell, you piece of shit! I won’t stop until you cut your own throat out of despair!” You roar at him, showing your true colors, expression distorting as wrath takes over.

Ah… What a repulsive sight.
There’s no cute pouting, no soft voice, no meek expression.
Before him is bared the true you, raw and unsightly.
So far, this ugly side of yours was known only to Levi.

Eren scoffs.

With his free hand, Eren pulls you to him by your nape, going in for another kiss.
A hard slap turns his face to the side.

“I’ll never fall in love with you, Eren…! I love that jerk with all my heart!” You break into angry, desperate tears, completely devastated for admitting it out loud for the first time.

Love? How dare you love someone other than him?
Eren groans.

“I’ll be his even after he dies!” You bury your face in your hands, sobbing in frustration at your self-imposed sentence.

Eren’s hands fall to the side, as destroyed as you.
With great effort, he swallows hard before surrendering to tears again, having completely lost his will to fight.
He sobs and embraces you, slowly sliding down while crying until he’s hugging your hips, face buried in your lap.

You hate to admit it, but Eren is right; you always soften again, no matter what he does. Your hand hesitantly touches his head, gently caressing him as the boy sobs desperately against your legs.

“I love you…! I want you more than anything…” Eren whines. “I love you, I love you…”

“I’m sorry, Eren…” You say kindly, sincerely pitying his pathetic behavior.

He moans in frustration and despair, suffocated by his own crying.

“I’ll make you regret that choice…” He sobs, still hiding his face in your legs. “If that is your final answer, I’ll destroy everything…!”

You laugh weakly, incredulous.

“Eren, don’t say silly things like that…” You keep patting his head.

Suddenly, the door is burst open in urgency. Out of breath, Hanji looks at the two of you on the floor. She closes her eyes and sighs in relief, hand over her heart.

“Thank God…” She looks back. “Guys, he’s here!!”

The high ranks arrive and Eren, face red from crying, obediently surrenders to be locked up again.
Still in front of the office, being led by Moblit, Eren passes by the MP cadet who attacked you. The cadet’s hands are cuffed and Mike is menacingly keeping him in place merely by holding him by the arm.

“See? I wasn’t lying!” He roars at Hanji. “He attacked me!”

Erwin appears at the end of the corridor, approaching Hanji with a stern face.

“Erwin, we found him!” Hanji chirps, but her energetic face melts down when the Commander reaches her and states in a low tone:

“She arrived.”

29. Bitch (of a) meeting

Out of breath, you lock yourself in your room and lean your back against the door.
You’ve probably never run as fast as you just did, crossing the entire building in a matter of seconds.

She’s here.
That woman is under the same roof as you right now. You can’t believe it. The one coming to the HQ was really her, after all—you had this tiny little hope that Erwin was wrong about it.

What now? What should you do? Your whole body is shaking and the red marks on your neck are throbbing—damn MP cadet!
A knock at the door startles you and a yelp of shock escapes your mouth.

Reluctantly, you open the door, feeling relieved it’s just Moblit.
Even though you’ve known him for a long time now, it’s still embarrassing that he is seeing you in such a messy state.

“Come.” He says in a cautious tone. “The Commander is calling us for a meeting.”

“Already?” You gasp. “A meeting… With her?”

Moblit nods slightly, looking at you almost apologetically. For him, you’re the most normal person in this division, besides himself. Sane people gotta stick together.

“Things will be ok, let’s trust the Commander.” He says softly and taps your shoulder, trying to reassure you.

Yeah, right. Let’s trust the man who can—and will—kill you if it means he’d be able to keep all his secrets and his control over everything.

And, honestly, you’re actually not that wrong.
Sitting in the comfortable chair in the large meeting room on the second floor, Erwin quietly ponders how things would be easier if you just dropped dead right now. With your death, the woman would lose her object of hatred and, therefore, the reason to help Nile, thus making the requests of the Military Police in court much easier to avoid.

If only…
If only there weren't two major problems… Erwin would definitely—

Erwin’s train of thought is interrupted by Levi, who drops his weight on the chair beside him, looking tired.

Yeah. Levi is one of the reasons Erwin can’t get rid of you once and for all. If the Corporal lost you at this point, he’d be beyond hope. Erwin sincerely believes the man would go mad. The Commander can’t afford to lose the best soldier in the military.

And the other reason is…

As you absentmindedly pass them, you’re suddenly pulled down, forced to fall on the chair. Startled, you look at the one who grabbed you so abruptly like that; an expression of surprise comes over your face when seeing Levi beside you.

Everyone is still arriving and taking their seats, so you clear your throat, look down and pretend that sitting next to the love of your life after not interacting with him after so long is no big deal.
Impressive. You could even say that half of the fear that had taken hold of you just disappeared. Levi’s mere presence makes you feel at ease.

Erwin blinks slowly at the scene, indifferent.
The other reason why he can’t just kill you is that… No way in hell he’s going to go back to handling paperwork by himself!

As the Commander, he has about 150% more paperwork to deal with than any other high rank.
He must preserve his steaming hot tea and his naps in the office while you efficiently take care of ridiculously meticulous reports for him.
Everyone believes Levi and Hanji are the most desperate to keep you with them. But no. This is no joke! This is about survival!
The paperwork machine must be kept alive. Erwin only wishes you didn’t cause him so much trouble—though most of his problems with you are caused by Levi, the full-time horny psycho.

Discreetly glancing at the woman across the huge conference table, Erwin watches as she occasionally glares at you.
How much hatred…
To make an alliance with the Military Police, to use her connections to force pieces on the chessboard to move, to go through a lot of trouble merely to finally reach you on this very day.
Going this far just to take back at you for a dead man who deceived the two of you.
Women are, indeed, scary.

Erwin closes his eyes for a moment to concentrate.
Mike arrives and glares at Levi, who is sitting next to you. The Corporal glares back, silently defying your guardian as he sits down.

You look around and see that most of the high ranks already arrived.
But it’s not just Levi; everyone looks terribly sleepy. You wonder why.

The meeting starts and it soon becomes so tense, you’re afraid to move and to breathe too loudly.
You had forgotten how that woman’s presence takes over the place no matter where she is. The way she looks at people, her firm speech, her tone of voice and choice of words—unshakable self-confidence emanates from her entire being and her importance is shown in her stern eyes.

Claiming that the Military Police soldiers accompanying her were of low rank, she forbade them to attend that meeting. She’s currently facing all the high ranks of another division alone and still manages to tense them up and swallow hard when she speaks.
One would say that she has balls.

How can a withdrawn country-bumpkin as yourself compete with that? How can you even defend yourself when she decides to strike? She proved to you once that you can’t, and now she’s doing it again.

Back then, she didn’t care that you were fooled too. Her marriage was preserved and she focused on making your life a living hell, never stopping, never satisfied.
She only had that jerk in her life to love and to show her emotions, the only one she ever felt attached to. Pff… To think someone as cocky as he had made an older, talented superior officer fall for him. Huh? Wait… What a trend.
Anyway, that woman doesn’t want to just give you another beating; at that time when it was only about sabotaging your career, there was a moment where you legitimately tried to kill each other. Now that she has lost her everything, nothing will ever satisfy her except your death.

Clenching your fists on your knees, you are nervous and scared, and it is visible in your now pale face.
A sudden touch on your hand makes your shoulders jump.
From under the dark wooden table, Levi discreetly squeezes your hand, both reassuring you and telling you to keep it together; not to let the fear show in your face.

You quietly breathe deeply and entwine your fingers, not letting go of his hand.

Turning her head to look out the window behind her, checking for something, the woman changes her tone to a softer one.

“Commander, before we go through the topics, I need your cooperation with something.”

Hm? How odd.

“Sure thing.” He answers, polite as always.

“This happens from time to time, as I have a fair number of enemies in and out the military—though that is beside the point—, but there is an assassin after me.” She crosses her arms, the cold tone in her voice making it sound like she is having an inconvenient but unimportant problem. It makes you doubt her a little. “He tried to kill me at my own house, then inside the Garrison’s HQ and twice on the way to the Survey Corps’ HQ.”

“Inside the Garrison headquarters?” Looking worried and surprised, Erwin blinks a few times.

“I contacted the Military Police and the Garrison for personal protection, which is why I brought so many soldiers with me today, but that didn’t make the bastard shy away from trying again.”

Thoughtful, Erwin sighs and scratches his chin.

“This is worrisome, indeed. But I can guarantee you’re safe at the Survey Corps HQ.”

She snarls, unsatisfied.

“I only told you this because I want your two best soldiers to be my personal protection while I’m here.” She directs her cold eyes to Levi. “I don’t care who the second soldier you choose is, but I definitely want Levi to be one of them.”

Hey! Get lost!
For the first time since you entered that room, you raise your head, looking directly at her. Something burns inside you and you squeeze Levi’s hand without noticing. He discreetly peeks at you, finding it interesting that you got upset. However, when remembering how you become when your jealousy kicks in, Levi’s eyes dart to Erwin, silently asking him to do something about it.
But Erwin never looked away from the woman, still attentive to her.

“I’m afraid Levi won’t be available.” The Commander says, calm as ever. “He’s busy with paperwork I assigned him to. But you can rest assured since the Survey Corps has the best soldiers in the military.”

You scoff internally. Thank God Levi is a complete dumbass when it’s about dealing with paperwork. Good to know he can’t meet his deadlines without you.

Afraid of people noticing you and Levi holding hands under the table for so long, you hesitantly let go and lean both hands on the table.
Upset at you deciding things on your own, Levi puts a hand on your thigh, giving it a light squeeze to remind you not to dare run from him.

As the minutes tick by and Erwin is still talking to the woman about her safety while inside the building, you wonder how much longer the Corporal’s hand is going to stay there. That’s even worse than just holding hands…
To show him he should stop, you move your leg.

You don't learn, do you?

Pissed off, Levi now squeezes your leg hard, keeping you in place and forcing you to restrain a pained groan.
Without moving his hand, his fingers caress the place he just assaulted. You unconsciously look around to check if anyone is seeing you. Thankfully, everyone is either about to fall asleep or terribly tense, looking from the woman to Erwin as they talk.
The rough hand grabs your inner thigh, squeezing it. This time, you have to hold your breath not to let out an embarrassing yelp. You discreetly step hard on Levi’s foot, intending to make the fucker stop with it at once.

Have you forgotten who you’re dealing with? The man OWNS you, you little shit.

Your gulp hard when the hand changes places, fingertips delicately tracing their way up. Uselessly, you glare at Levi, who pretends to be paying attention to the meeting and rests his hand over your clothed crotch.
Not noticing that by his side Erwin is watching the scene out of the corner of his eye, Levi keeps asserting his dominance over you. The fact that you’re refusing to cater to the Corporal’s whims is unforgivable.

Erwin sighs and looks back at the woman. Well, at least you stopped trembling and looking frightened and now only look pissed off.

Fearing that people will notice such an absurdity, you cross your legs angrily, successfully blocking the way and protecting yourself from Levi.
Accepting the fact that you can be a little bi—brat sometimes, Levi gives up and slowly touches your foot with his, keeping this small but constant contact. He’ll get you for this tantrum later.

How pathetic you are, feeling bad for him; Levi wants physical contact. He wants to reassure you and wants to be reassured by touching and being touched. You know that.
Sitting straight again, you open your legs a little, causing your and his legs to touch.
Levi silently sighs in peace and relief; you are corresponding and obediently doing what he wants. You’re such a slow learner.
He looks comfortable and content, taking now a proud, winning stance.
That’s right; he won, you lost. Little fucker.

Tired of not getting what she wanted from Erwin—Levi as her personal guard—, the woman changes the subject and aggressively goes through the topic regarding Eren running away.
She complains about the security in the HQ and questions Erwin’s reliability. Even Levi raises his brows at it.

“I admit that Eren indeed escaped for a couple of hours, but I assure you it was nothing more than a teenage tantrum, not a real attempt to leave the military. So much so, he surrendered in peace after being found, you can confirm this information with the arrested Military Police cadet—who was also on the run, by the way.”

She frowns.

“I ask you to give us a few more days to check the security at the HQ regarding Eren Yeager’s confinement.” The Commander says in a velvet tone.

As she insists on the subject of the weak security system at the HQ—which implies in taking Eren with her—, as a topic-breaker, Erwin brings up the fact that two of the cadets were rummaging in secret through the Survey Corps’ documents. 

“It may be considered espionage if I write about it to Zackly. And not only that, they also attacked our secretary.”

“You can’t be serious. It's the girl’s word against the cadets’. We, high ranks, can't just bicker over it without proof. Though it can be proved that a MP cadet is still unconscious in the infirmary. She didn’t even get hurt, what kind of attack was that? And now, coincidentally, another cadet attacked her as well? Strange how she’s unlucky, no? I won’t allow you to keep him under arrest until we’ve finished investigating what happened.” She hits her index finger on the desk.

Levi crosses his arms and discreetly snarls at the high rank.
Yeah… Levi hates the woman's gut.

Huh?
Surprised and confused, you take a hand to the chin.
Is that first cadet still unconscious after almost five days?
You think to yourself that you didn’t go that hard on him. But then, you realize: it’s Erwin Smith the one dealing with the situation here. Under his orders, they certainly have been drugging the young man to prevent him from waking up. They don’t want him to talk to the woman or any other cadet about where he hid the documents.
How scary… You’re shocked at it.
Erwin Smith… Just what the hell are you?

“It doesn’t change the fact that the MP has been breaking rules and spying on another division using low rank cadets under a diplomatic mission. The unconscious cadet was alleged by the secretary to be in the archive room, a prohibited area. As there were no other witnesses, I agree that the matter will be up to discussion when he wakes up. But the arrested cadet was seen rummaging through official documents by two of my high ranks.” Erwin crosses his fingers and rests his chin on them. “So, he will be staying behind bars for now.”

The air is hard to breathe. Everyone is tense with Erwin and his angry female counterpart measuring power in this delicate situation.
You notice she’s uncomfortable with one of the five cadets being arrested, although she paid no mind to one of them being unconscious. You believe that even if they’re injured, it works as a weapon for her, which is why she doesn’t care.
So, does this mean that having them arrested is inconvenient for her? Why? She clearly doesn’t give two fucks about them, so it must have something to do with her deal with Nile.
Apparently, this is the only card Erwin has to play against her, and you know he will do something about it as soon as it’s convenient.

“Are you covering up for the girl? I believe you’re not aware of her history of poor behavior. She used to be from my team, so I can guarantee her lack of conduct at work. She tends to get into fights and resorts to violence very easily.”

“Well, that’s true.” Levi mutters quietly. You glare at him.

Hah? She wants to point fingers, then? Wasn’t she the one who got married in secret so her husband wouldn’t be transferred to another team?
She is used to bending the rules a lot more than you are!
If her marriage wasn't a secret, you would have broken up with your boyfriend as soon as you joined her team. Everything was too convenient for that cheating bastard husband of hers.
You cross your arms, much less afraid of her now, as your stomach is burning with rage.

“We’ve read the report.” Erwin smiles professionally. “And while I agree it’s hard to prove that this little lady here was attacked instead of attacking the unconscious young man, you’ll agree with me about who attacked who regarding the arrested cadet.”

Levi’s eyes glare mischievously at you.

“Exactly. As you can see,” Levi speaks for the first time at the meeting, drawing everyone’s attention. The Corporal grabs your hair and aggressively pulls your head back, ignoring your pained yelp and making sure your neck is exposed—Mike frowns at it and even the woman looks surprised at the brutality. “if you place a male hand over the bruises on her neck,” He suddenly grabs your neck and presses his fingers tightly against your throat, causing you to instinctively grip his hand.

Furious, Mike tries to get up, but Nanaba holds him down.
Yes, everyone inside that filthy room is being forced to watch Levi mistreating you so intimately.
What a win.

“it may explain why the arrested cadet’s hands have countless nail wounds, like the ones she’s carving into mine right now.” He slightly shakes you by the neck, showing you why one shouldn’t say ‘no’ to him. “Looks more like self-defense than aggression, don’t you think?” He asks the tense audience while looking Mike in the eye, who can't lay a hand on him right now.

“That’s enough, Levi.” Erwin says out of the corner of his mouth.

Levi glances at you before finally letting go of your neck.

As you quietly gasp for air, the woman narrows her eyes; it’s unwise to keep going on with the subject, it seems like the Survey Corps is buying time by insisting on the same fruitless topic.
Everything would be all right if only the first cadet had attacked you. What the hell was the other one thinking? And to leave such bruises, no less! Now it will be harder to force the narrative that you attacked them. How is she going to arrest you? That was the top priority.
Ugh, Military Police cadets can’t be trusted, amateurs.

Trying not to mind his own hard-on, Levi admires his marked hand. You didn’t get to rip his skin like you did to the MP cadet’s hand, which means that bastard suffocated you for way longer than Levi did.
Levi narrows his eyes; this is no joke, you could have died…!
He quietly clenches his fist.

“Let’s postpone this discussion for tomorrow.” The woman says. “I’m now ending this meeting. For now, I’m just informing you that I will be conducting an investigation into the issue of illegal experiments being performed on the titan shifter. We are scheduled to leave tomorrow, so let us not waste time.”

The meeting ends with tension in the air, as the woman has decided to do as she pleases.
And, leaving tomorrow? How the hell is she investigating something so complex in twenty-four hours?

As everyone stands up and leaves the meeting room, Levi tries to approach you, but Mike promptly runs up to you and glares at him, causing the Corporal to give up and walk away. Even with your neck aching, it makes you sad to see him go.

“Eren…” Armin calls as he approaches Eren’s cell, seeing the boy sitting on the bed.

Not getting up, Eren looks at his friend. The letters in his hands make Armin’s heart ache.

“Eren, isn’t it better to just hand them to me? I’ll take them to the mail room for you, it’s unfair to keep these letters from reaching her family.”

“No.”

“Don’t you feel bad for—”

“You helped me get some of them, what are you lecturing me for?”

Armin swallows hard. He only did that to calm Eren down a bit, but he didn’t think things would turn out like this.

“You told me you had given up on her… Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“Did you come here to talk about the letters?” Eren asks, coldly.

“No… I came here to check on you, actually. I’m afraid you still want to run away. You won't leave us, right?”

“Ah, that. I definitely will.” After carefully returning the letters to their envelopes, Eren looks at Armin. “For a while now I've been thinking about some things. There are these thoughts that invade my head and don’t go away. Maybe there are things I must do in the near future.” He lets out a weak, sad laugh. “To be fair, I hoped she’d stop me by agreeing to run away with me. Now that I know her answer, there is but one path to follow.”

Clenching his own fists, Armin stands there in silence. It doesn’t matter if Eren ends up actually running away; he’ll chase after his friend no matter where he goes.

“… Are you really keeping the letters?”

It takes Eren a while. He looks down.

“I don’t want to get rid of them just yet.”

Armin sighs, feeling useless. He gives up and lets Eren deal with his broken heart in peace.

Leaving Hanji's office late at night and heading to your room to finally sleep, you walk through the large common room and see the three MP cadets who had classes with you heading to the underground prison.
You follow them.

As you quietly descend the stairs, you stop halfway to hear them talking to the MP cadet who was arrested; the fucker who attacked you in Hanji’s second office.
They’re focused and unaware of your presence, whispering quietly.

“Yeah, everything’s all right. At least I don’t have to learn about stock control anymore.” Says the arrested one. “It smells weird in here, though.”

You feel your cheeks heating up. He’s not in the same cell you were in, but there are no windows there, so… Ugh, how embarrassing.

“Anyway, did you talk to him?” With a hand on his hips, he looks at his colleagues.

“Ah, not yet. As we suspected, he was being drugged. During the higher-ups’ meeting, we exchanged his IV bag, so he should wake up very soon.” Says one.

“After curfew until morning there’s only one nurse in the infirmary, so it’ll be easy to sneak in.” Says another. “But honestly, you being caught was a bad surprise… The Garrison high rank got absurdly upset.”

“There’s no helping it, I was being careful but it happened anyway.” Scoffs the one behind bars. “But I’m sure she’ll definitely free me, otherwise she and Commander Nile will be on bad terms. Overall, I’m glad things are going well.”

“Amh, not quite. On our way back here with the boss-lady, we were attacked twice. It’s only luck that saved us back there. She’s not showing it, but we know she’s scared. Her room is being guarded by two Survey Corps high ranks and all the soldiers from our division who came with us.”

“The hell?” He frowns, shocked.

Ah, that. So, it wasn’t a lie, she really is being targeted.

“Oh, what about our ‘teacher’?” He smiles mischievously, evil even when a prisoner.

“You had to see her, she’s a bundle of nerves.” They all snicker, having fun with the situation. “Even if we weren’t getting paid, her face alone is worth the trouble.”

“We’ll get going now to check if that idiot woke up. Stay put~” One of them teases the locked-up colleague.

With your heart in your mouth, you run your way up as quietly as possible.

What now? Are you going to follow them to the infirmary? No, you can’t; at least one of them will be on guard, watching for anyone approaching, and you can’t afford to interact with them again while you’re alone.
There’s no merit in preventing them from talking to the cadet who hid the documents either because you also need that information.

Back in your room, you find the conversation you overheard creepy, but think to yourself that it is highly unlikely anyone will dare to break into the Survey Corps HQ, so your former boss and the cadets won't have to worry about it during their stay.

Still, the assassin invaded the Garrison’s headquarters, didn’t he? Even Erwin sounded worried.
Sighing, you change into your pajamas.

You’re tense and a little frightened, but brush it off because there's no way this guy can successfully infiltrate the most guarded HQ of the three divisions. The Garrison is one thing, but the Survey Corps?

As you approach the window, however, as you look out into the dark fields lit only by the half-covered moon, you have the sensation of seeing a shadow moving near the trees.

You tell yourself you’re just scared and it’s making you see things.

30. Dancers in the dark

There are many soldiers from the Military Police inside the Survey Corps building right now.
First, the five brats who you used to teach. Then, a large number of more experienced soldiers in charge of protecting the Garrison high rank while she stays at the Survey Corps HQ.

The fact that she doesn’t have a single Garrison soldier with her would be enough evidence of the collusion going on between Nile and her.

Therefore, Erwin knows that insisting on keeping a MP cadet imprisoned is for the woman an uncomfortable impediment between the parties. She won’t leave the Survey Corps with you and Eren and abandon the remaining MP cadet. However, the Garrison high rank is scheduled to depart today. If there is an important and decisive move to be made, she will do it until the afternoon.

“C-Commander…” The nurse hesitantly calls Erwin as he passes by, already leaving the infirmary and closing the door behind her. “The young man woke up.” She is tense, aware that the boy should still be unconscious.

“How odd.” He frowns. “When did it happen?”

“I’m not sure, sir. I dozed off for a little while and when I woke up, he was already conscious.”

Erwin sighs, thoughtful.

“Keep him under observation and don’t let the Garrison lady approach him, though I believe it’s already too late.”

If the other cadets already spoke to the one who hid the papers, there’s little he can do to stop the woman or negotiate with her.
All he can do right now is to buy more time.

You have been following the MP trio since breakfast.
It’s almost lunchtime and so far, they didn’t make any suspicious moves.
However, passing by them, the woman discreetly signals for them to follow her to an empty narrow corridor.
From afar, you see the little shits running up to the woman, neither them nor her noticing you hiding.

“As you predicted, he was being drugged, ma’am!” One of them tries to whisper, but his urgency causes him to speak louder than he intended. “We cut it and managed to wake him up during the night, but he barely could talk.”

“Where is it?” She asks, coldly.

The other one approaches her to whisper near her face.

“Corridor eight.”

Your heart skips a beat.

‘Low ranks shouldn’t attend such an important meeting’—yeah, right. What a mind she has there. While all the higher-ups were gathered at the meeting room, those bastards did the dirty job for her.
She’ll head straight to the archive room. You have no time to lose, so you turn your ankles and run to the mold festival; you know that place more than anyone else.

The cadets leave and before the woman can take a step, Erwin appears behind her, frightening the high rank.

“Excuse me, I’m here to propose a deal.” He says, serious, unaware he’s buying you time.

Out of breath from running so much, you enter the stench hell and immediately count the corridors, heading to the eighth.

Ah, damn. It’s hidden in the eighth corridor, all right, but how deep in it Moblit’s reports are?
Damn you, twenty-five-meter long narrow corridors!!!
In addition, the papers can be hidden on either of the two shelves around you.

No, think. The cadet was in a hurry; he wouldn’t choose neither a high nor a deep shelf.
The entire archive room is covered in dust, so he must have left traces on the boxes and the shelves.

With your eyes attentively going up and down the shelves around your height, you keep walking into the long corridor.
Past half-way into it, your heart skips a beat when you see marks of boots on the dust. He climbed the shelves to hide it, the fucker!

As unskilled as you are when it comes to climbing things—especially when there is nothing around to grab—you clumsily make your way upwards, following the marks of hands he left behind. When you reach a high shelf where the only mark left is on a wooden document box, you hear a scoff.

Your eyes dart at the source of mockery below and you swallow hard when seeing your former boss looking at you.
She smiles mischievously before approaching where you are, then crouches down and blindly runs her hand under the last shelf, which is almost level with the floor.
Frowning when seeing her getting up with rolled papers in hands, you immediately open the box in front of you, not seeing anything beyond the documents it should store.

They outsmarted you.
No, possibly only her; the MP cadets are as smart as a slice of ham.

Why do you only figure out the secret of a magic trick after it happens?
Considering the times you saw her head working while on her team, she’s certainly instructed them to set a trap to deceive others, while acting as a mark for her—the dumbass cadet went so far only to drag his hands and boots in the dust. And hiding it at the underside of a shelf? Hah, that’s totally something she’d think of.

While calmly folding the papers and putting them into the pocket of her jacket, the woman watches as you climb down from the shelves, jumping off them when you think you're low enough.
Clumsily landing on the floor, you get up and both of you look at each other.
She has the documents in her hands…! Apprehensive, you blink nervously, not knowing what to do next.

However, interrupting the silence, the loud, creaking sound of the heavy doors closing catches your attention.
You and the woman stop and look towards it. It's too far to see perfectly, but the door is clearly closed now.

"Hello?" You hesitantly call. "Who's there? There are people here, don't close the room yet."

The deadly silence makes the atmosphere too eerie to bear. Even your former boss is now feeling tense; the two of you are looking around anxiously as you listen for any movement in the room.
There's something wrong. It’s barely noon now, why are they closing the room?

"Did someone lock us in here?" The woman whispers, trying to sound angry, but her voice clearly shakes.

Another heavy, loud, slow creak sends shivers down your spine as the frightened woman in front of you disappears into the dark.
As the enormous window is completely shut and you are submerged in pure, unnerving darkness, you realize that someone has locked you both in there, indeed, but with himself inside.
You're unarmed, and as you recall, the woman doesn’t have her equipment on either.

With the stomach as cold as ice and the heart in your mouth, you try to breathe as quietly as possible to identify any further noise.
If necessary, the high rank still can run—as she is in the front—but you are particularly trapped and depending on her to advance, though you can still run into the depths of that narrow corridor.

It's only natural to be scared in a situation like this, but you notice that the woman is particularly terrified, you can hear her breath trembling along with her body. You've never seen her like this.
Then, it occurs to you; the one after her.

Damn.

Damn, damn, damn… Fucking hell, damn it!

Even if you somehow survive, it'll be hard to explain the body of your hated ex-boss in the room where the two of you were locked together.
Honestly, it'd be less troublesome if the assassin kindly killed you as well.

You never before wished so intensely that Levi suddenly missed you and used his super psychopath senses to find you.
The deep smell of mold from the old documents is disturbing your reasoning. To think that just a few seconds with the window closed the stench would quickly take over the place.

Despite the massive, tall bookshelves full of documents hindering the propagation of sound—and your thriller buddy's breathing being kind of loud—you're almost sure the person didn't move after closing the window. Your adrenaline-fueled body in the dark sure is helping you to hear at least a little more, so you conclude it's taking a few seconds for the person to get his eyes used to the darkness.

"Let's walk towards the door." You whisper absurdly quietly to the woman.

"What? No, he'll be there!"

"We won't be able to fight if he ambushes us in this narrow corridor. It's a straight way, put your hands on the shelves and go."

The woman hesitates terribly, but she probably agrees with you, as she soon complies.
Counting on the luck that the person might not know yet which of the many corridors you are in, you believe you have a few seconds of advantage over him.

"Is it a man?" You whisper so quietly she barely hears.

She lets out an ‘hm’ to confirm.
Well, at least she thinks it is a man. He always attacked during the night, it was hard to see.
You swallow hard. Of course, it hardly would be a woman, but if it's a man you'll have less chances in close range combat. If he attacks you, both have to fight him at once.
Breaking the silence, a sequence of loud, hollow sounds propagates above the shelves, startling both of you.

It's suddenly quiet again.

After a moment of apprehensively looking up trying to see something, you whisper for the woman to keep going.
The damn rat climbed the shelves, it's the only possibility.
But it doesn't matter, from that height he won't be able to see anything. Unless he has…

"Light…" The woman’s weak voice states at the same time you see it.

Wherever he is above, he lit a lantern.

The dim light indicates he's probably not so far away. Had he walked over so many shelves without making a sound? You trusted your ears too much; he knows what he's doing.

"It's too high, he won't see us even with the lantern. Keep walking." Your hand trembles on her shoulder.

By your calculations, you are already near the end of the corridor. Since you had to walk very slowly, it's a good thing you started doing it as soon as possible. At least one of your deductions was correct.

A loud thud happens somewhere nearby. He is jumping between the shelves.
With that, you feel the woman shuddering under your hand.

The absurdly tall shelves are full of heavy boxes, they won't even tremble with a man jumping around. However, it feels weird.

You hear the woman sniffing quietly. The musty stench is annoying you. The man jumps again and you start to hear the creak of the lantern swinging as he lands. He's getting closer.
It's all happening way too fast and too many distracting things are fogging your mind. It's hard to think, but it makes no sense.

He is silent to move around, why did he suddenly light a lantern and is jumping scandalously from shelf to shelf?

Then, you hear a thud so hard and so loud, that even though you know he can't see you, your legs tremble at the sight of his figure above, at the top of the shelf, the high-pitched creak of his lantern swinging noisily as he crouches down to take a look.

You can't see his face as he's far high and cautious enough to hold the lantern above his own head, but you can see he's hooded.
He knew you would walk towards the open area of the room and calculated precisely where you'd likely be now, since he is almost exactly above you and the woman.
Even so… Even so you don't think there was anything else to do but what you did.

He sets the loud lantern down beside him—almost on the edge of the shelf—and leans lower.

Even if overwhelmed with fear to the point where your arms and legs feel numb, you now understand; the lantern and the loud jumps were just to incite fear and to put pressure on you, forcing you to make sounds or run. It worked; he knows you're close, so much so that he is particularly interested in that corridor. Could it be that he’s hearing something? Are you making any significant noises?

And although you believe to be as quiet as possible, your former boss in front of you—who has been crying for a while—is now covering her mouth with a hand, but she fails to suppress a loud sniff through her nose as she inhales.

You lose your breath when you hear him jump.

"RUN!" You yell, and the woman immediately complies.

While you run after her, you hear him cushioning the long fall by landing quickly on the shelves and jumping again.

He is smart and thinks fast. No wonder he could infiltrate the HQ—is what you think when you're about to step out of the corridor, before being grabbed from behind.
You struggle, trying to hit him with a punch as you kind of can see something now with the lantern above you, but he twists your arm and throws you against the shelf. You groan loudly in pain.

You expect him to come at you again, but instead he charges into the woman’s direction; she went back into the corridor to fight him as well.
What an idiot! Don’t come back to fight him empty-handed!

You throw yourself on his back, causing the three of you to fall out of the corridor.
He immediately spins to kick you away, getting up in a jump to attack the woman.

Now fighting in dim light in a larger space, you don't feel so scared anymore. And the same thing might have happened to the high rank, since she's trying to hit him now.
When you see the light reflected off the blade of a knife he pulled up, you jump on him again, pulling the man back with your arm on his neck, trying to choke him from behind.

"He's after you! Break the door and run!" You yell.

The man uses his weight to throw himself back and violently slams your back against the stone wall, finally breaking free from your grip and immediately uses his forearm to block a kick from the high rank attacking him head-on.

That bitch… You told her to leave!

He attacks her with the knife and she barely dodges, having her arm—just below the shoulder—cut by it. With no hesitation, she kicks his hand and you hear the clink of the knife hitting the ground.

Groaning in pain, she intends to hit the man with another kick, but he catches her boot and shoves the woman away to throw off her balance.
Not wasting a single second, the assassin kicks her hard in the stomach, then quickly grabs the woman’s hair above the ear and hits her head against the wall with such violence, she instantly falls limply to the ground.

Breathless, he turns to reach for the knife, but has to immediately grab your wrists, defending himself from your sneaky strike, his knife in your hand.
You uselessly measure strength with him as he slowly subdues you, forcing your arms down against your own body. His fingers and nails digging painfully into your wrists make you lose grip on the knife and drop it.

With a hard knee in the stomach, you lose your breath and the strength in your knees, falling to the ground.

Groaning, you reach the knife, but he steps hard on your hand. Despite the pain, you close your fingers around the handle.
Feeling that he will be stabbed in the leg if he isn't careful enough, the man crouches down to take the knife from your hand, still stepping on it.

Seeing something reflecting light, your free hand immediately grabs it from his waist. As you surprisingly pull out a gun, by reflex his hands go firmly to each of your wrists, pinning them to the ground.
Measuring strength with the man once again, you struggle to break free and kick him, but he skillfully locks your legs to the floor by painfully kneeling on them.
You headbutt him hard enough to throw his head back, being able to close your hand around the knife again. In one quick move, you throw it away, making it disappear down one of the dark corridors—judging that a handgun in the dark would be less lethal than a knife.

Grabbing your wrists again, he pulls you up only enough to slam you back against the floor, making you hit your head and gasp for air. You lose power immediately and the gun slowly slips from your fingers. The man slides it to the side, far enough to be out of your reach.

Despite being dizzy, you're still conscious. The room is spinning a little and you have this ringing in your ears that makes you feel like things have stopped making sense, it's hard to hear anything. You blink slowly, feeling numb.

You're exhausted, so much effort you’ve put in now. You probably can't fight him anymore; the fight got too long.
What a joke of a soldier you are.

The only one in the room who could help you is out of commission with her head cracked open.
What a joke of a soldier she is.

You're both useless but she makes about ten times more than you do—though money means nothing at times like these.
At least you endured more than her. Heh, fucking bitch. Yet, you're going to die side by side now. How sad.
To think you pitied her and went so far as to protect someone you hate…

Ahh~, you really don't want to think about Levi finding your dead body. That's going to be terrible.

Now that you've slowed down, you notice the man is exhausted, having trouble breathing. His movements are weakened, his forearm is clearly bruised where the bitch kicked him. Good. They both can choke and die.

Despite being so numb, your shoulders jump in shock when feeling his groin being pressed against yours.
Did the jerk get hard while subduing you? What a joke, you thought he was a pro. All your respect for his murderous skills is now gone.

You squirm when he breathily kisses your neck.
Using the remaining forces in your body, you slap him—while so weak that it doesn't even turn his face to the side, seems enough to disturb him somehow.

For the worst.

Now fiercely, he unbuckles your belt and grabs the hem of your pants along with your panties, intending to pull them down at once.

"No!" You gasp and try to grab his wrist.

An old chair suddenly breaks hard on the side of his head, throwing him to the side.
So shocked you are, you immediately sit up.

Wobbling while standing, the high rank holds firmly what is left of the chair's backrest, now dangerous and sharp.

"Get up!" She orders as firmly as she is desperate, breaking the backrest into a long, sharp piece of wood.

You throw yourself forward, supporting your weight on your knee, and get up.
The man, however, is not done. He also gets up, and quicker than you did.

"Open the door! Make as much noise as possible!" She commands as she charges at him.

You look around, it’s still very hard to see, but you know that place very well; near the doors is the old conference table—from where she took the chair. With all your remaining strength, you turn the huge table on its side and push it as you run toward the doors.

From the calm outside of the archive room, it is heard a loud blast—almost like an explosion—, breaking the locked double doors open as a huge rectangular old table crosses it halfway down the corridor.

You run back into the room, calling the woman, who after hitting the man in the head is thrown away with another kick to the stomach. The room is better lit with the doors open, so the man quickly finds his gun and points it at her.
His finger on the trigger falters as you put yourself in front of her, shielding the woman while pulling her up. Grabbing her wrist, you run with her out of the archive room like there's no tomorrow.

You’ve always thought of Mike’s paternal behavior towards you as something uncomfortable, but God, how relieved you are to see him.
Having come there due to the blast he just heard, Mike is surprised that you run to him and hug him like a lost child.
While bursting into tears, you desperately try to tell him between sobs what happened, while other soldiers appear to check the archive room.
He immediately orders you to take the woman and to go the infirmary, as both of you are heavily injured. You still didn’t recover; your head hurts and your senses are still compromised.

“Leave it to me.” He pats your head and assembles the soldiers to give them orders.

As he runs to the archive room, you reach for the woman’s wrist, but she evades it, wiping her own tears, frustrated. Before you can say anything, she turns her ankles and leaves.

Instead of going to the infirmary, you run to Levi; you will only feel safe by his side.
Out of breath, you enter his office without even knocking.

“Sir…!” You call him, urgency in your tone.

Levi is sitting on the corner of his desk, head hanging low. The lack of response worries you.  
Running up to him, you gasp when seeing he’s bleeding, a thick line of blood running from the side of his head to his jaw. There are also bruises on his face and neck, not to mention something off about his balance.
Only when you lift his face up to check his wounds, you notice the black clothes and the black hooded cloak he is wearing, as well as the gun in his waistband.

Speechless and in shock, you take a few steps back.

“What…” You say under your breath.

He looks at you with meek, tired eyes that, though filled with pain, are clearly frustrated.
You don’t want to think about it right now, there’s no time for it.

"Let's go to the infirmary!" You hold his face with both hands, but he grabs your wrist. You notice that his now half-lidded eyes are slightly twitching.

The door opens abruptly.

"I heard that Garrison's high rank was attacked in the archive room." Hanji says firmly in urgency as she barges into the office, Moblit behind her. Hanji is unusually serious.

"Hanji, Corporal is hurt—"

"Is something the matter?" Looking at the injured man, Hanji coldly cuts you off with a deep voice. You have never seen her so full business before, not even when Eren almost raped you during heat. You become extremely afraid of Levi being found out.

Levi sighs and averts his eyes, not answering her.

"How hard is it to finish a bitch off, Levi?"

"Hanji, please wait, he isn't—Wait, what?" You blink compulsively in confusion.

Levi slowly scratches his forehead with the tip of his thumb, looking really upset.

"I had her, but some heroic cadet saved her just in time." He burns you with his deadly glare.

Hanji gives a long sigh of frustration, glaring at you as well before looking back at Levi.
Under pure shock, you look at Moblit for some support, but he's also frowning at you.

"It's the fifth time already…" Hanji shakes her head while talking, fearlessly shaming Levi with no restraints.

"Look, she's fucking lucky, ok?" He gestures with an open hand and stands up, losing balance for a moment. "Either at her house or at the Garrison HQ, every time I was THIS" He brandishes his thumb and index finger almost touching. "from killing her, something happened and saved her ass. And I couldn’t get into her room last night; judging by the number of soldiers guarding her, she’s scared shitless. Close combat won’t work."

Hanji clicks her tongue.

"All right. Moblit." She calls with authority, both hands behind her back.

"Yes, Squad Leader."

"How good is your aim?"

"Good enough to throw a person into a well while flying over it during an explosion, ma'am."

"Sounds good enough." She nods once, then throws him a handgun. "Don't forget; aim for the head."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Wait??? What is…?"

"You stay here, you already did enough." Hanji's eyes hold bitterness. "How's your status, Levi?"

"I'm good, just need a few more minutes, my vision's still all blurry." Levi sighs. "The bitch has good aim in the dark, goddamnit…" He grumbles, touching the open wound on the side of his head.

"Does the Commander know about this?" You squeak.

"Take care of Corporal Levi, this is an order." Hanji points at you.

You blink at the door being closed, then look at Levi with neck-breaking speed.

"You're trying to kill her because of me…?"

"Why do you think everything is about you, you useless brat? What a nuisance." He runs his hand over his face, grumbling to himself. "Slashed open many men back in the underground, but can't finish a woman off… Fucking shit…"

"S-Sir…" You gulp, still feeling too agitated. "Your clothes…"

Levi looks down and sees his black shirt visibly wet with blood.

"You can't leave like this. Clean clothes…!" You walk to the door, but then turn your ankles to look at him again. "And a clean towel. And warm water. And some painkillers. And a patch. Do you think you're going to need to stitch the wound?"

"Just go already." He growls.

"Yes, sir." You jump.

"Hey."

"Yes?"

"Don't get in their way."

"… Yes sir."

Silently, you close the door, making a soft 'click'.

Still facing the door, you give a long and very needed sigh to calm yourself, hand over your heart.

"Okay. You've got this under control." You mutter to assure yourself, then rush at full speed to find Moblit and Hanji and put an end to this nonsense.

31. Assassin's Bullet™

You growl as you run down the corridors.
Damn you, Erwin Smith!

You and Levi can no longer interact, so you didn’t notice he was away for a few days. Erwin had sent him to kill the woman.
Using your sweetheart to do dirty work like that. What a devil of a Commander…!
His concern about the woman being attacked at her own division HQ was not due to the assassin’s boldness at all, but to his Corporal making such a dangerous move without telling him beforehand.
You’re a monster, Erwin Smith!

Anyway, whether the woman went to the infirmary or not, she must be heading to Erwin right now, so you run in that direction.

Oh, you’re not wrong. There she is, heading to—OH MY GOD…!

Coming out from thin air, Mike tries to stab the woman in the side of her head, but she trips over the wrinkled carpet and almost falls, unconsciously preventing her head from being ripped open like an apple.

With both hands over your mouth, you see Armin passing by her. Mike clicks his tongue and puts the knife back on his belt, quickly leaving, never noticed by the high rank.

“Boy, where’s the Commander’s office?” She asks him with a harsh, superior tone.

“Ah, there.” He points. “You have to turn right at the end of the corridor and then go straight until you find a white double door.”

She turns her back to him and keeps going. Armin finds it weird that the woman is injured like that.
Oh, so the low ranked cadets aren’t part of it. Good.

As you follow her, you see the woman stomping her way to the long corridor, heading to the evil white double door. Passing by you, Nanaba is following her, dragging a heavy axe as she walks.

“Wait…!” You hold the blonde woman’s shoulder, making her look at you. “Nanaba… Just what on Earth…?”

“Worry not.” Hanji appears behind you. “An axe will make too much of a mess, you have to do clean work.” From afar, she snickers evilly as the woman bumps on a particularly rugged part of the fancy carpet.

“Damn carpet again. How hard is it to properly nail a carpet?” She grumbles and barges into Erwin’s office, then aggressively slams the doors behind her.

“What?” Hanji’s face melts down into a disappointed expression. “Why…? Come here.” She grabs your wrist and drags you with her to that bump under the carpet.

But before you reach it, the entire corridor bursts into a big explosion, which violently throws you and Hanji across the place. The two of you fall abruptly and only stop painfully rolling on the floor at Mike and Nanaba’s feet.
Terrified and with wide eyes looking at an upside-down Mike, you blink twice and wonder how in the world a bomb is a cleaner job.

It doesn’t matter that they have failed; the greatest threat after Levi is Moblit, who is armed and has infinite potential.
Where is he?

That’s it, this is all too much. You get up while groaning in pain and run to Erwin’s office, jumping over the big hole open on the floor with the explosion.

So, this is why everyone was sleepy at that meeting with your ex-boss; they probably had a long meeting about how to kill the woman. Wait! Then when Mike walked into the archive room, there was no real danger to Levi; they’re working together this time, even though they want to slit each other's throats.
You decide not to trust Erwin with the woman inside his office. Knocking on the door, you already open it.

"Sir…!" You squeak.

Erwin and the woman are looking pretty much shocked at your direction, certainly frightened by the explosion. You notice the Commander is pouring them tea.

"What happened?" Erwin asks.

You hit your own chest with the hardest salute you can pull off, trying to pull yourself together with the impact.

"There was an explosion, sir! It seems someone tried to assassinate some of our soldiers by setting a bomb and Corporal Levi was caught in it."

Erwin gets up.

"Levi…?!" The woman gasps.

"How is he?" Erwin asks, legitimately worried.

"Apparently it was superficial, sir. He was taken to his office."

"Office?” Erwin frowns. “Why not the infirm—"

"Levi is hurt!" The woman squeaks.

Surprised, you and Erwin look at her.

"He's the only one who can kill that maniac—it's exactly what I was telling you!" She glares at Erwin. "I can't stay here… That explosion was for me! The assassin is running freely around the HQ and you are too incompetent to restrain him!" She growls between clenched teeth, extremely close to Erwin's face, who despite not moving an inch, is looking back at her with surprised wide eyes.

Sighing, she lets out a very tired ‘my God, what a nightmare…’ and storms out of the office in hurried strides, yelling her assistant's name and ordering him to get the carriages and the staff ready. You look at Erwin.

"Sorry for ruining your tea, sir." You smile very lightly, and only someone like Erwin is able to see the mischievous discourtesy behind it.

You don’t like that bitch of ex-boss of yours, but you’re angry at Erwin for using Levi like that.

"Never mind it." He calmly says as he puts on his jacket, preparing himself to go after the woman. “You usually bring a lot of trouble to me, so I’m already used to cleaning up after you.”

Owie.

"It's such a waste. May I drink it?" You look at the tea as he walks past you.

Oh, aren't you cheekier than usual today?

Erwin scoffs, but stops at the door for a moment and looks back at you.

"It's a waste, indeed. I'd be extremely happy if you drank it, actually. Help yourself."

You hold a smile until his back takes distance from his open office, then take the woman's cup and smell it, wondering if it's actual trouble.

Though still not sure, you believe it's better not to take any risks, so you take the teapot and the cups and empty them into a plant vase near the window.
A sudden sharp light makes your eyes twitch. What is this thing reflecting sunlight?
You use your thumb to sweep the remaining soil the tea didn’t wash away.

Is that… Your key…?
Almost sure of it, you intend to compare it with your own later, so you slide it into your pocket.
When turning your ankles to leave the office, you see a very, very, very upset Corporal standing at the door.
Ah. You had forgotten there was an injured superior officer waiting for you.

"Amh…"

Back on his uniform, Levi’s face and clothes are clean, but there’s nothing on his wounds. Well, at least there isn't blood dripping on his shoulder anymore.
Not taking his stern eyes from you, the Corporal closes the doors behind him.

Ahw, shit.

“Wait!” Erwin calls the woman, striding so he can reach her. “There’s no need for despair.”

Erwin has to take a step back or he’d bump at her, so abruptly she turns around.

“I was almost killed a moment ago, here in your headquarters. And a bomb just exploded in front of your office while I was there. I’m leaving. Now.”

“This morning we agreed in you staying for two other days in exchange of us releasing the MP cadet.”

“Go arrest him again, then.” She growls and leaves Erwin behind.

"I'm very sorry, sir. It’s not that I forgot about you, it's just…" You gesture with the teapot and the cups in your hands. Realizing it, you immediately put them aside. "People kept interrupting me and asking me to do things and—"

"What did I tell you about getting in their way, you little shit?" His husky voice makes it clear he is very close to slitting your throat open.

You take a long breath, too agitated for Levi not to notice you are having trouble to think. Could it be that your lying skills are failing you?
He narrows his eyes.

"I didn't do anything, sir." Nervous, you smile, avert your eyes and then stop smiling, repeating all of it in an infinite cycle as you speak. "Things went wrong naturally, haha. I'm here just because there was an explosion and I took the chance to justify your wounds."

"What's with the tea?"

"Oh, it was cold—" You're interrupted by his hand grabbing your collar; your head almost hits his as he abruptly pulls you to face him, his razor-sharp voice ensures you won't stop shaking anytime soon.

“If you have such a dying wish, why did you waste so much time in the Garrison? You should have joined the Survey Corps right away.” He deadpans and cocks an eyebrow. “I could have been yelling at you for years now.”

“Look, I-I don’t like her, all right? I hate her.” You stutter with a choked voice, refraining yourself from grabbing Levi's wrist to pull him back, as this usually makes the situation worse. “But I don’t want someone dying because of me.”

Levi rolls his eyes.

“I know you’re doing this for me.” You look at Levi and he frowns, immediately averting his eyes. “And I know everyone else is doing this so they can keep dumping boring paperwork on me, but I won’t let you kill her, not for that. Everything is happening because I kept running away instead of trying to do something about it, and more and more people got involved because of this. I’m tired of regretting every single choice I make in my life.”

“Good for you.” Levi says, indifferent. “Now stay put.”

Deep inside, Levi is sincerely saddened for you feeling like shit because of your poor choices, but he can’t let you keep playing hero if he wants you alive.
You start to struggle against his grip. Yeah, you’re not going to cooperate.

“Looks like I’ll have to keep you busy until they're done.” The Corporal says as his free hand loosens his cravat.

The creak of the door opening startles both of you.

“Excuse me.” Says a sweet, timid voice. “Sir, should I start with the paperwork in advance? I’m worried about not finishing that report before today’s deadline.”

Christa Lenz is surprised at the Corporal manhandling you. Though he’s usually brute, he never laid a hand on her like he is doing on you right now.
Feeling his stomach turn, the pale Corporal weakly breathes shallowly a few times before he can speak, never letting go of your collar—though he doesn't dare look at you.

“Lenz, out.” He can’t even pull off an angry tone.

“But sir…!”

“Dismissed, cadet!”

She quickly nods and closes the door.

Looking blankly at the door—and still not able to look at you—, Levi knows that your lack of reaction so far is a very bad sign.

Oh, Lady Destiny, so you’ve finally made your choice.
Your blessing light has shone upon this motherfucker.

Levi’s neck is grabbed and he is thrown against Erwin’s bookcase, slamming his back hard.

“Eren!” Mikasa grabs the bars from Eren’s cell.

“What’s wrong? I heard an explosion.” He calmly gets up from the bed. When behind bars, Eren’s eyes really are scary.

“I heard that the Garrison’s high rank is leaving right now. What if she tries to take you with her amidst the confusion?”

“… If I run away again, things will only get worse.” He looks down. “My heat is close, I can’t leave this cell or—”

“No, it’ll be okay. We just can’t take the risk of leaving you here. Just stay with me, I’ll make sure they don’t take you away.”

Yes, that’s right: you are extremely jealous of Christa Lenz.

Why? You’re not exactly sure, but her appearing to assist Levi right after he threatened you that time—saying he’d sleep with another girl—certainly didn’t help. Anyway, it’s Levi’s fault, no matter how you look at it.

She’s cute, kind and delicate; you feel small and petty when comparing yourself to her.
You see her as a threat.
And despite knowing that you hate her, Levi accepted being assisted by her again??? To do YOUR job???
Since that time when the cadets were punished with paperwork duty you became aware: you hate when people do you job.
And you hate when women approach the one who belongs to you and you alone.

“I already kicked your ass today, I can easily do it again!”

Normally, Levi would be the one to say that, but it's you roaring it at him.
Looking like a completely different person, you manhandle Levi while once again, measuring strength with him.

The good thing is; it seems you finally forgot about saving that woman’s ass.
The bad news, however, is that Levi now probably has more on his hands than he can handle.
But it doesn’t matter how disturbing your eyes are right now, Levi won’t take shit from you. You’re the woman here.
He pushes you away from him, making you bump on Erwin’s desk and fall on your back, but not before instinctively grabbing Levi by the collar and taking him with you.
The abrupt heavy impact on the floor makes both of you groan in pain, as you’re heavily hurt from blindly fighting each other in the dark a few minutes ago.

“Damn pervert, couldn’t even finish your mission back there because you popped up a boner!” Angry, you mock Levi while under him. He grabs your face with one hand, painfully squeezing your cheeks. “Had you finished her and knocked me unconscious, I would never have known it was you all along and this wouldn’t be happening!”

“You really like playing hero, don’t you? Keep protecting the one trying to kill you, you little shit, you won’t last long. I see you spent a lot of time with the brat; became all suicidal like him.”

Not bearing the pain of his grasp, you try to push his hand away.

“Get off!” You growl.

“Yeah, I sure will.” Levi calmly says before kissing you.

At first, the Garrison high rank was afraid of leaving the Survey Corps building due to the assassin after her, but now she even called off her deal with Erwin to run from there as quickly as possible.

Still following the woman, Erwin is tired of pretending he cares about the situation. He sighs, tired. Just where in the world is Moblit to put an end to all of this?

When passing through the entrance door, the woman reaches the main open field and is surprised at the number of Survey Corps soldiers gathered out there.
Oh, that’s right, there was an explosion, so they all ran outside and are currently waiting for the higher-ups to inform them of the situation.
Among them, Mikasa is taking Eren by the hand, trying to make him blend in and hide behind the crowd. She doesn’t realize the titan shifter is flushed and sweating, insistently looking at her with hungry eyes.

“As expected of Mikasa.” From the balcony of the second floor, Moblit says while lying on his stomach, his falcon eyes easily finding them. “She’d never leave Eren behind. Now we can rest assured the MP won’t kidnap him in the middle of this mess.”

“Look, she’s there!” Beside him, Hanji points to the woman leaving the building, and with that, not letting Moblit notice Eren’s hand moving towards Mikasa, slowly and menacingly. “Do it, Moblit!”

“Not yet, Squad Leader. She needs to walk further toward the main gate; I still don’t have the right angle.”

Not bearing to wait, Hanji feels anxious, afraid of the woman leaving Moblit’s range.

“Hurry up, Moblit!”

“Sadly, this is just a handgun, ma’am. It’s not that easy to aim from this distance. I would have shot her already if I had a shotgun.” He says while constantly aiming at the woman, following her every movement. “Just a little more. A little more.”

Preparing to shoot, Moblit holds his breath. A little more…

It’s taking too long. MY GOD how long this is taking! Hanji is about to have a stroke!

“JUST SHOOT ALREADY!” Grabbing his shoulder, Hanji shakes her assistant right when he fires the bullet. “Ah…!”

Squirming out of pain, Eren screams and falls on the ground.

Hanji and Moblit simultaneously cover their mouths, immediately crawling back into the room not to be seen by the cadets looking up.

Despaired, Mikasa lets out a long, deafening cry, getting everyone’s attention.

Oh my God… EREN, NOOO!
Wait.
Eren won’t die from this, he’s a motherfucking titan shifter. But it doesn’t refrain Mikasa from shrieking in despair once again.

“Was that a gunshot?” Protecting your former boss, a Military Police soldier looks around, worried.

The woman gasps, now even more terrified.

“Was someone shot?” Nanaba asks and then looks at the woman, seeing her intact.

Oh, no…

Levi groans in pleasure and pain.
He swallows hard, not feeling so hot. Not only has he reopened wounds; the many hits on his head back at the archive room still get to him from time to time and mess up with his balance.

And yet…

And yet he can’t bring himself to stop thrusting into you.
While moaning with your eyes closed, you’re still struggling against him. Pff, how cute.
You’re angry, jealous and HIS.
He finally got his hands on you again after three fucking months. Squirm and growl all you want; Levi is not letting you go.
Why the hell are you so damn cute? Levi's lights are almost out, but how can he stop when you're being that adorable?

While he's deeply drunk with love, though, you're still drooling with rage.

You buck up your hips hard, making him get separated from you with the impact. You sit up and aggressively push him down, straddling him. Despite feeling weak, he tries to complain, but you shut him up by sitting on him, engulfing him at once.

Ahh, that's it; Levi is about to faint… You grab his collar, pulling him up to face you. 

"You think really highly of yourself, don't you?" Your triumphant smile melts into an angry snarl. "But you're not. Without me you're a useless piece of shit who can't even meet his deadlines."

Incredulous, Levi frowns at you.

"If I'm not around, you can't even function! This is why I am the one who owns you, you damn psycho!" You scream your lungs out at his shocked face. "Try and get all cozy with that bitch… I'll rip both of you open. You hear me? You are mine! Why can't you understand it? Are you stup—ugh, stop getting even bigger inside me, you asshole!" 

What is this desperate, maddening feeling inside your chest?
Is this what Levi feels? Is this what your former boss feels?
You're not sure of what this is, but you're definitely being taken over by this feeling.
Jealousy is driving you insane.

"And I swear on my life that if you fall for another girl I'll not die before destroying the two of you." Anger, jealousy and arousal, mixed in an unnamed single feeling, are making you dizzy and your stomach is burning. "You listen to me on this, I'll ruin you!"

Out of air and strength, you let go of Levi's collar, letting him fall on his back.
Breathing hard through your mouth, you watch him from above with your eyes full of wrath.
Then, it makes your stomach twist and you find yourself under a cold sweat: exhausted and with his half-lidded eyes locked into yours, Levi smiles faintly.

What? Just what in the world…?

Erwin’s life force is wasting away, he’s sure of that. Just when he managed to reach the woman outside, Eren was shot. What was Moblit doing, for fuck’s sake? Will he even manage to shoot again?
The Commander blinks at the woman, who is still making a scandal and yelling at her subordinates, insisting to leave at once while they want to catch the assassin.
Some high ranks from the Survey Corps are trying to reason with her, intending to buy Moblit more time for another try.

God… Erwin really needs to nap…

As he watches the mess from afar, standing in the main field, Hanji and Moblit run to him.

“Erwin!” Hanji reaches the Commander, breathing hard through her mouth from so much running. “We failed. And now it's too dangerous to try to shoot her again. Even if the other high ranks are buying us time right now, the MP soldiers are looking for snipers in the building and on the roof. What are we going to do?”

With Eren and Mikasa’s screams as soundtrack, the Survey Corps cadets somehow accuse each other of shooting Eren and start to collectively fight among themselves. All at once.

Ah, yes… A nap. And later a big cup of steaming hot tea.
Both things feel so far from his reach right now…

With your mind blank, you find yourself at a loss of words, wide eyes looking at the terrifying scene under you.
W… Why is Levi’s face doing that?

This smile is not meant to please you; he just feels so content and complete that it has leaked out of his soul.

Since you’re not moving for a while, Levi’s smile fades away as he places his hand behind your neck, pulling you down to meet his lips. He kisses you delicately, with no hurry, as though you’re the most fragile thing in the world.

Levi starts thrusting up, forcing your mind to come back from the void. At it, you gasp to breathe, parting the kiss and looking him in the eye.
Either exhausted from being thrashed at the archive room or elated by your jealous rage, Levi looks at you with meek, adoring eyes. It makes you head go weird.

So, this is how you feel, huh. This is the real you behind the shy subordinate who you pretend to be. Saying scaring shit while manhandling him—Levi already saw you like that twice, and he missed this cozy feeling of somehow being reassured by the words coming straight from your distorted heart with no filter.
Right now, he has no fear of you leaving him to belong to any other; after all this violent scandal of yours, baring teeth and feelings at him, you’re definitely his and his alone.

Levi intends to bring your face closer for another kiss, but he is interrupted by you reaching the pocket of your jacket.
Incredulous, his eyes go wide when seeing what you put in his open hand.

Both of you know that your room key means more than just that; you just gave him full control over you voluntarily.
You entwine your fingers with his, the key between your hands. Supporting your body weight in both hands on either side of Levi's head, you resume thrusting your hips, matching Levi’s movements.
With his eyes squeezed shut, he tightens the grip on your hand.
You mentally scoff at it; boss really likes the humiliation of being fucked by a woman, huh. Though if you say it out loud, he might stab you to death with that key.
Feeling that you’re the one who is going to break first, you lean down to whisper into his ear.

“You’re coming inside.”

Levi grunts in response.

As you lose it, his thrusting becomes erratic and more aggressive, and when he loudly gasps for air, you feel the hot liquid spurting inside you.

How obedient.

As the two of you breathe hard through the mouth, neither notice the door opening only a little with a quiet creak.

“… S… Squad Leader…” Moblit covers Hanji’s mouth before she approaches the door.

Erwin hears her muffled ‘holy shit’ and ~almost~ kindly, pushes her to the side. Both Hanji and Moblit cover Erwin’s mouth before he looks inside. The Commander is shocked, indeed, and immediately pushes the hands away from him.

“Why… Why are they doing it in my office?” Erwin’s whispers, incredulous, his lost, wide eyes showing that his spirit is now far away from there. “No, seriously… The building is so big, why here?”

“Let’s go, Erwin, Levi is kinda busy.” Hanji laughs weakly, struggling to drag with her the massive Commander, whose face is now white as a paper. “Moblit, Levi is out of the game, let’s find Mike.”

Obediently accepting his destiny, Moblit gives Hanji a hand with the Commander.

Still recovering his breath, Levi sits with you on his lap, still linked to him. He embraces you tightly, burying his face in your shoulder and you promptly hug him back.

No sheets between you this time, no need to look around for Mike or any other cadet. Ah, to properly hug like that… How the two of you missed being able to be together like that again.
You hear Levi letting out a long, satisfied sigh. How he missed you, you shitty brat.

He lifts his head and peppers your face with kisses, making you giggle.

You touch his forehead with yours, looking into Levi’s calm, tame eyes.
In total peace, you hold each other for a few more moments, but Levi’s meek expression suddenly turns into a tense, dangerous one, his eyes sharp and menacing.

He just remembered.

“Sir?” You look surprised at him, who holds your hips and not so kindly pulls out, causing both to groan due to the sensation.

The Corporal gets up, quickly adjusts his clothes and heads to the door.

“Sir!” You call him with worry in your voice.

“I still have something to do.” He says coldly before closing the door.

Walking in strides through the corridors, the Corporal clicks his tongue at how badly his body is responding.
Damn it. He can’t reach his limit before finishing what he started.

You… You’ve been suffering in silence for years.
Levi wants you to stop regretting the choices you’ve made in your life. It’s ok if you messed things up until now; he’s there and he will make things right, he will fix your screw-ups. One way or another. You can stop worrying.
Once he puts that vengeful heart to sleep once and for all, you’ll be able to leisurely take your morning walks around the HQ fields, enjoy the thousands of breaks you take during the day and keep stuffing his room with the useless things you buy.

Once all of this is over, again you will be able to work together in peace during the day, then secretly meet at night.

For the normal days to come back. For that stupid smile of yours to come back.
You will never be taken away from him.

There’s no way you can stop Levi; that throat WILL be slit.

Sighing and tired of arguing with the MP soldiers supposed to protect her, the woman is about to get on the carriage, but the MP cadet who was freed from imprisonment calls her.

“Ma’am, is it really okay to just leave like this? Without Eren Yeager or the secretary? You told us we had to stay here for another two days.”

The woman looks from the young man to her own arm, where a painful knife wound is still stinging and throbbing.
She presses her hand over it, thoughtful.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter anymore…"

"What?"

"Let's leave this madhouse at once."

The MP cadet's meek posture turns into a serious, threatening one. He grabs the woman's shoulder with a firm grip, forcing her to look at him.

"What are you talking about? Our soldiers looking for the sniper inside the building have just gone to Yeager’s cage and he’s not there. We were going to take him, remember? I did my part of the job, but without your name on the official order, it’s pointless. The Military Police Commander expects you to cooperate thoroughly, ma'am, as—" He's interrupted by a blade touching his chin.

"Tell Nile I'm withdrawing my support; this isn’t worthy of any investment. I'm fed up with this place and tired of wasting my time with the mess that is the Survey Corps. Let Erwin and Nile fight to death, they can shove Yeager and the girl, I don't care."

Erwin, Hanji and Moblit leave the building again, looking for Mike. From afar they see the woman returning her blade to her equipment and getting on the carriage.

"Look, she’s leaving… What now?" Hanji asks, half laughing, taking both hands to her head.

"I heard Eren was shot." Mike runs to them. "Hence all this endless shouting; all of our soldiers are collectively hitting each other over there."

"What? Who'd do such a thing? Damn you, Military Police!" Hanji yells, brandishing her fist at the sky. Beside her, Moblit sighs.

“She’s already inside the carriage. Moblit’s marksmanship was our last hope. Erwin, is it really going to end like this?” Mike asks, tense. “She has the documents with her, doesn’t she?”

The sun is setting, causing all the mess outside to be bathed in a burning orange light.

Appearing to be in pain and limping a little, Levi arrives at the crowded, boisterous open field, heading to the Commander and the high ranks while putting on his 3DM gear.

“Levi, nothing worked…” Hanji says, apprehensive. “We’re done.”

Glaring at the remaining Military Police's men getting on the carriages, Levi draws his blade. Blood runs from the wound on his head to his face, dripping heavily from his chin.

"There's still time. If I reach them as soon as they leave the headquarters' territory, there will be no witnesses. Great chance to end those Military Police nuisances, too; there’s a specific one I’d like to slice." The Corporal’s eyes twitch and his vision blurs for a moment, but he shakes his head to recover focus.

"Wait, Levi. Now there are more soldiers with her and they're divided into four carriages. Let's rethink our strategy." Hanji says, now in a serious tone.

"No, this is our last chance." He adjusts his gear. "I'll climb the headquarters' east wall and intercept them. It’s getting dark and our cadets are too focused on that mess over there, no one will notice me."

If the Survey Corps’ headquarters were a clock, the carriages are to depart at 12 and head straight to the right, while Levi is about to jump the wall at 3 and intercept them on the way.

Not waiting for formal permission, Levi heads towards the wall, but his legs falter halfway and he falls hard on his knees.

Erwin's eyebrows go up in surprise.

"Oh, dear…!" Hanji covers her mouth.

The Corporal looks shocked about it himself.
Hanji steps forward to go check Levi, but you rush past her in an absolute hurry.

"Levi!" Is what they hear you exclaiming as you reach him, already kneeling beside him

"What…?" Mike gasps, intending to go after you, but Erwin's arm refrains him.

With tense shoulders, Hanji and Moblit look from Mike to the Commander.

"You see, Mike," Erwin smiles at you aiding Levi, delicately lifting the Corporal's face to check his wound. "sometimes we try to protect people from external danger," He lowers his arm when seeing that Mike has given up. "but there's little we can do if they're willingly chasing after it."

Mike slowly shakes his head, eyes lost in the scene in front of him; Levi struggling to get up and you shoving him down, trying to reason with him.
Levi yells at you when the carriages depart, but you ignore it and insistently keep cleaning the blood from his face.

"Neither restraining orders nor rehab can fix what those two broke." Tired, Erwin gives a long sigh, then inhales and puts his hands around his mouth. "Come on now, Levi! We'll have a meeting, go treat these wounds!"

32. Writing the forbidden word

During the meeting, Erwin asks you if the woman was able to reach the documents. Looking down, you hesitantly nod.

She didn’t take Eren or arrest you, but she's got her hands on papers so compromising that it's sure to bring tragedy to the Survey Corps.
The high ranks are tense; so, it’s not over yet. And you know very well how they intend to solve this problem.

After the meeting, heading to the mess hall to have dinner with Moblit and Erwin, Hanji looks at them with bright eyes.

"Erwin, let me experience some stuff on Levi.”

“Hm?”

“You know, we could breed our own high-class soldiers here. The girl is still young and I'm sure Levi can keep going until he's 130. I can even research methods to force twins or triplets."

"B… Breed?" Erwin fails to maintain his expressionless eyes, his eyebrows going the highest Hanji has ever seen.

"S… Squad Leader, we're talking about human beings here, aren't we?" Moblit feels his mind going blank.

"Hm. It depends on how much human you consider Levi to be, but anyway—"

"Let's drop this conversation here." Erwin's hand signals her to stop. "And never talk about this ever again." He blinks a few times, completely disturbed by the idea. Erwin feels a shiver down his spine and shakes his head, giving up on eating and resuming his way back to his office, parting ways with Hanji and Moblit. 

Moblit sighs and looks at the confused superior officer beside him, still talking while Erwin ignores her.
Hanji really is the only person able to disturb the Commander like that.

Ahh~ It’s been forever since the last time you’ve been in Levi’s room. How comforting.
Tired, you throw yourself in his bed. What a long day… Only sleeping beside Levi can heal your soul.

“Gonna take another bath…” Levi sighs while taking his jacket off, groaning in pain when the fabric slides heavily over his wounds. “Ugh, I really need to sleep.”

“I’ll wait for you, then.” You smile at him, promising to stay awake so you can go to sleep together.

“I doubt it.” Levi scoffs at your sleepy eyes. He heads to the bathroom, but then stops and looks back at you, frowning. “We hit each other a lot today, are you going to get mad and bitch about it later?”

“Nah, I’m good.” You laugh, knowing that his question is sincere.

You see something and sit up on his bed in a jump.

“Sir, what’s that?”

Levi looks behind him, then sighs and looks back at you.

“Your books were everywhere, getting in the way and not letting me work; I couldn’t even sit at my desk.” He points at the now clear surface. “So, I put this small bookcase here to stuff it with your trash.”

You’re touched. No, seriously, what a man… So annoying, so hard to deal with, so cute.
You approach the bookcase and smile at him.

“Ah, so I can bring the ones in my room, too!”

“I didn’t do this so you could fill my room with even more crap.”

“Yeah, but my clothes—”

“Again with this?”

“But look, it fits more books in here, here and here.”

Levi groans and rolls his eyes.

“Did you read any of them?” You ask, excited.

“No.”

Yeah, he did, all right. A few, out of anything else to do. But for you, the answer is ‘no’.

You kiss him on the cheek and lean down to pick up from the last shelf the red book he gave you.
Driven by his asshole masculine instinct, Levi slaps your butt with all his might, almost causing you to fall over the bookcase.
He looks satisfied; whatever may it be, his last name is now imprinted on you.
Unaware that you just survived an Ackerslap, your turn angrily at him.

“The hell was that for? It hurt!”

“You smacked me around the entire day but you don’t see me complaining about it.” He deadpans, nor caring about your scary eyes, which much resemble his own.

Still upset, you sigh deeply, rubbing your aching cheek. However, you remember his smile from earlier and can’t help but giggle. Shaking your head at yourself for loving this jerk so much, you sit on the corner of his bed, already opening the book.

“Waiting for you so we can go to sleep, sir.” You smile, now all bubbly.

The next morning, after breakfast you write a letter to your parents and lazily drag your feet to the mailroom, giving a long yawn.

In the small space where you put and receive the letters that are sent to you, there is an envelope with just your name written on it. There was nothing there last night, so it could only have arrived this morning.

How odd.
Opening the fancy white envelope, your mouth drops open.

“The carriage is ready, Levi is leaving in half an hour.” Erwin states seriously to the high ranks around his desk. “It’s probably already too late, but if it’s not and he manages to kill her and take the papers back—”

“Commander, sir!” You barge into Erwin’s office, completely out of breath from running across the building. Unable to talk, with both hands you raise the papers in the air, looking at Erwin with wide eyes while breathing hard through your mouth.

“What?” Hanji runs to you and takes the documents from your hands, desperately checking all the pages, seeing Moblit’s complete report regarding the experiments on Eren in her own hands. “Erwin…! ERWIIINNN!” She runs to Erwin and hugs him, making the man wince in horror. “They’re back! They have come back to us! Little babies!” She gives the documents several kisses.

You’re raised in the air by Mike, who holds you in Lion King style. He is so proud.

Your stupid bosses commemorate and hug each other, relieved not to have their paperwork machine taken from them.

Before, when you asked Levi how much the high ranks hated paperwork and he answered that you had no idea, you really didn’t think they’d shamelessly resort to murder to get rid of it.
Thinking to yourself, you conclude that the ethics and priorities of those who constantly go to war end up really different from normal people. Shell shock really does that, huh.

Well, with that, Levi’s trip is cancelled.
Standing beside Erwin’s chair, Levi takes his hand to his pocket, calmly watching the pathetic scene before his eyes, which he rolls when seeing you being hugged by every high rank.

Noticing Erwin’s meaningful eyes when the meeting ends, Levi understands that the Commander still wants to talk to him, so the Corporal remains in the office until everyone leaves.

“So, Levi. Did you find out who were the ones keeping an eye on you?” Erwin supports his chin on his entwined fingers.

Levi first doesn’t intend to answer, but after thinking for a while, he looks at Erwin.

“You lied, didn’t you, you bastard?” He snarls.

Erwin chuckles, looking satisfied.
Ugh, how annoying.

“An innocent white lie to keep you on track.” The Commander smiles, proud of himself. “But I did, however, appoint all the high ranks to keep an eye on the MP cadets, who I purposely left with too much free time to get them red-handed. Except you, of course, who I was saving for some special operation—which turned out to be necessary at the time.”

“That so? The blond dog was after me all the time, though, following me like a pervert.”

“And that’s why the cadets were able to do as they pleased.” Erwin sighs. “Moblit was covering up for Hanji, but as they were focused on looking for Eren in secret, the cadets were allowed to move almost freely on their watch. Mike was supposed to follow them whenever they left the building, but he totally neglected the job, so obsessed was he with protecting the girl from you.”

“Fucker.”

“Don’t make less of him, you still have to ask for his blessing if you want to marry her someday.”

Ahh, how tempted Levi is right now to draw his blade and slice Erwin like cheese.

“Things ended well, apparently, but there’s no guarantee that the Garrison high rank gave up on her revenge. For some reason, however, the secretary told me she strongly believes the woman will stop. So, we will keep an eye on how things unroll from now on with Nile.” Erwin sighs. “Also, I’m counting on you to keep a low profile regarding your activities with the girl, don’t do stupid things like locking her up ever again, for God’s sake. And…” He glares at Levi. “If you have sex with her in my office again, I’ll personally hang both of you.”

Levi scoffs, but obediently agrees with an ‘hm’, then turns his back to leave.
He stops when two cadets enter the office with a heavy, new plant vase. They take it near the window and replace the old one, which plants are dark and dead, for some reason.

As they leave, Levi heads to the door once more.

"Levi."

He turns again to look at Erwin. The Commander's eyes are almost threatening, not matching the soft smile he holds on his lips.

"That said, I'm counting on you to keep our lovely secretary passionately loyal to the Survey Corps, then."

"Oh? I thought you were against it…?"

"Personally, I am. Broken rules are always a problem, but…" Erwin leans his tired back on the backrest, still looking Levi in the eye. "It's for her own safety."

Levi frowns.

"Roger that, Erwin."

After dinner, Moblit calls you to Erwin’s office, as it seems another meeting is taking place.
Ugh, how many other meetings you guys will have on the subject?
Though you’re never becoming friends with that woman, you sincerely wish for you to stop with the mutual hate.
Something changed after Levi attacked you in the archive room. You know it. You feel it.
If only you and her could just forget about each other’s existences and keep on living with a lighter heart…

When entering Erwin’s office, though, you’re surprised with a party—or something like that; there’s no food, only alcohol. Well, everyone just had dinner, so…

“Happy two Shurvey Corrs of errr… Because you were transferred… Two years of annivershary.” Beyond tipsy, Hanji smiles tightly and squishes your cheeks.

“Squad Leader, you’re not making sense anymore.” He taps Hanji’s shoulder and takes her to take a seat on Erwin’s couch.

Oh, that’s cute. A drinking party to commemorate the second year you’re with them. You laugh, feeling legitimately happy.

Nanaba smiles at you and hands you a glass of whatever it is, but the color is nice.
You thank her and she goes back to aid Mike, who is already going to his fifth cup. Sitting beside Mike, Erwin chuckles at the man.

How happy they are to still be able to dump tedious confidential paperwork on you!

Smiling at this nice, cozy feeling inside you, you raise the glass to your lips, but Levi snatches it from your hand and glares at you—he has learned from the terrible experience of dealing with a certain drunk cadet.
You complain, but he ignores you and drinks it instead.

Everyone is laughing and chatting, distracted and drunk.

Levi pulls you to him and discreetly holds your hand behind your backs, entwining fingers.
You are afraid of someone seeing you, but you know very well what happens when you shy away from his advances.

The two of you stand there holding hands while Levi drinks from your glass and tries hard to look bored, distractedly watching the loud boss crowd before you. The gentle caress your thumb is doing on his hand gets his attention. He peeks at it and then approaches even more to whisper into your ear.

"You're sleeping in my room tonight."

"Yes, sir."

"Squad Leader, put your shirt back on!" You hear Moblit yelling at some point, but you're too enthralled by the charming Corporal beside you to care.

It’s morning, everyone is having breakfast at the mess hall.

Mikasa is happily feeding Eren, who’s still behaving like he’s hurt. Apparently, it’s not just cold water that interrupts the heat trance; getting shot also works.

“Why are you doing that?” Jean yells at Mikasa. “This jerk is a titan shifter; all of his wounds are healed already! You should feed ME instead!”

“Shut up, Jean!” Eren roars back. “When I destroy this world, you’re the first one I’ll take down!”

Looking tired, Armin takes his plate and changes tables, sitting by Reiner and Connie, who are laughing at the scandal.

Hanji is talking enthusiastically about gross things while Erwin, Nanaba and Mike are trying to eat. Moblit eats normally with a bored face; he's already used to eating under such sad circumstances.

However, in the midst of all this commotion, no one notices two certain people aren’t there.

While you sleep soundly, there are things happening right now that you don’t even dream about.

Sitting at his desk, Zackly yawns and takes in hands the report sent to him by his dear friend from the Garrison.

Apparently, the whole urgent commotion about the Survey Corps’ secretary attacking a MP cadet and the existence of documents proving experiments on Eren Yeager was just a severe misunderstanding.
Now about the titan shifter escaping his cell, it indeed happened. However, it was said not to be an actual attempt to run away, but a bratty tantrum he threw. Security regarding his incarceration has increased and things seem to be working well for the time being.

Zackly hums, satisfied that he can count on his friend to conduct such a quick and efficient investigation on minor problems.

And as the woman still fears being attacked again by that scary man, she asks Zackly to increase the number of her personal guards.
Well, it’s not like he can say ‘no’ to her.

At her office, the woman sighs deeply, thoughts still a mess.
Seeing you fighting for her life in the archive room messed up with her head, indeed, but not only that; in reality, she’s tired of hating you. Hating people is too exhausting, too life-consuming.
This is why after looking at those meaningless papers for hours, she sent them back. Personally, she just can’t care about other divisions’ secrets.

She’s hurt at being cheated on, but beyond that, at having lost that dumb, cheeky and talkative young assistant of hers—the only person she has ever loved. And yet… She’s not weak. No, not her.
You’re the weak one. And awfully useless. But she isn’t.
Deep down, she simply knows she can keep going on one way or another.

Getting up from her comfortable chair, by reflex, she presses on the aching wound in her arm, still bleeding from the previous day's fight. From her window, she checks the fields for any assassin, just in case.

The blinding light entering through the window causes you to reluctantly wake up.
Still sleepy and confused, you look around.

On the nightstand beside you, lies the book Levi gave you.
Ah, yeah, you slept in his room last night.
You turn around and see his naked back turned to you. By the steady and slow movements of his shoulders, he’s still asleep.

“Sir…” You call weakly as you shake him. “Wake up, I think we’re late.”

He grumbles, not even moving. You sigh and smile at him.

Ah, this angry, bossy, difficult man… How can you love him so much?

His passion is aggressive and because there’s so much jealousy and possessiveness in it, you understand it as an obsession. It scares you the fact that you don’t get scared at it anymore.
What really scares you is the feeling inside your chest when thinking about Levi being with another person. It’s terrifying, you feel capable of unspeakable atrocities.

With time, you’ve learned to identify the sentimental meanings in his cold and harsh words. Also, to see the small changes in his bored face. When he looks expressionless to everyone, you just see jealousy, worry or care.
Nothing will make you less his. But to avoid unnecessary mood explosions from him, you also have to restrain yourself from too much contact with others. Because of that, you can’t exactly say that you didn’t lose anything, but you chose this, therefore you won’t complain about its consequences.

Everything seems so right and in place.

While playing with his back, running the tip of your index finger on it as though you are drawing, you state to yourself how happy you feel right now.

When in front of others, Levi pretends you are just another brat cadet, but then when it comes down to four walls, he shows you how much his whole being aches for you. How jealous, needy and terribly lost he is before the tall and clumsy paperwork brat.
This is going to end someday. Everything. Probably in a tragic way. The future only promises harsh times, painful separations and unavoidable premature deaths.
But this will be put aside for now so both of you can live these brief moments of joy.

These moments will keep you both sane during times of war and losses. Levi is giving you everything he can and everything he is, this is enough for you.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a secret. It’s your secret.
Everything is a matter of choice.
You made yours.

With your heart feeling warm and complete, you use your finger to write on his back from shoulder to shoulder “I love you”.