Archive of Our Own ^beta

It was night when Daryl walked through the gates of Alexandria, dead rabbit in hand. He’d gone out not out of need, there was enough food at the compound for now, but out of want. He’d needed to clear his head, the weird little village with it’s perfect houses, warm beds and streaming water getting to him. It wasn’t that he hated the place or anything. In fact, it was quite the opposite. For the first time in his life, he felt himself getting comfortable. He even remembered talking to Rick a few days ago and referring to Alexandria as home. And that had scared him shitless.

Daryl grew up fast and hard, without ever feeling at home anywhere. And although it hadn’t been easy, it had worked out for him when this whole shitstorm began. He knew how to lay low, how to hunt, and he never had been crippled by silly little feelings like homesickness.

But now, everything has changed. He doesn’t just have friends, he has an ever growing family. And these walls, they can keep that family safe. So yeah, he doesn’t hate the place at all.

Walking over to ‘their’ house, he sees that the small porch light is still on. He looks around as if expecting someone to be around, even though he knows why it’s on. Rick. Rick always leaves a light on for him when he isn’t back before dark. Daryl isn’t completely sure why Rick does it, but whenever he sees that little light guiding him home, he can’t help the slight fluttering in his stomach and the happy feeling that creeps into a small smile. He’s tired, could fall asleep right now but decides to skin and gut the rabbit first. He’s quiet and quick with his knife, could probably even do this all blindfolded. Breathing softly as he takes out the little creatures insides, he sits up as he hears footsteps. The front door opens just as Daryl looks up and he’s greeted by a sleepy Rick Grimes. And yes, the men have known each other for a while now. And yes, they’ve seen each other in practically every situation possible, both good and bad. But seeing Rick in a t shirt and sweat pants, clean-shaven and sleepy, that was a new one.

“You’re back”, the leader croaks softly. It’s a statement and a question as he looks from the skinned animal to Daryl.

“Yeah, just got in. Thought I’d do all this now”, he says, waving his bloody hands over the various pieces that once belonged to a rabbit, “while it’s still fresh, you know”. Looking back at the animal in his lap, he goes back to work. Rick just stands there, watching him as the comfortable silence stretches on. He’s waiting for Daryl to finish, waiting for his chance to turn off the porch light and go back to bed, knowing that his family is safe. But Daryl doesn’t even notice. He just goes back to skinning, gutting and cutting like it’s the most normal activity to be doing at 1 at night. And well, maybe it is in the new world.

He finishes not long after, a cold breeze whipping his hair around as he quickly gathers everything to leave a clean porch. Walking inside, he nods at Rick before making his way over to the kitchen. Dropping the meat on the counter, he hears Rick close the front door and scuffle over to the stairs. “You going to bed soon?” He hears Rick ask softly, as to not disturb the others, especially Judith.

“Yeah, just gonna clean this up”, he whispers back as he shows Rick a bloody hand while using the other to wave at the remaining bits of rabbit. Rick nods, before moving up the stairs with a soft ‘goodnight’. And Daryl goes back to the task at hand, getting all this blood of his hands and the meat into the fridge.

Walking upstairs not long after, his hands and clothes surprisingly free of rabbit, he hears familiar noises coming from Judith’s room. The door is ajar, offering him a view of the little girl. She’s leaning against the sides of her crib, holding herself upright while “talking” to some teddy bear on Carl’s bed. Carl’s surprisingly empty bed. Daryl panics for a second, stepping closer to the door, before he remembers Carl is keeping Michonne company while she’s on look-out. Daryl can’t help but be happy whenever he thinks of the brave young man Carl has become and of the special friendship between those two. Michonne’s like a mother and a best-friend to Carl, the only one who knows exactly what’s going on in that kid’s mind. Although…even the most unobservant person would know that they were probably talking about that Enid girl right now. Carl could be a quiet kid, but his poker face needed some work.

A growing sound pushes through Daryl’s thoughts and directs his attention back to the little girl. She’s spotted him and is making grabby hands at him, the noise coming from her mouth sounding eerily close to “Dell”. He walks into the room and picks the little girl up. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”, he whispers as Judith starts tugging on a strand of his hair. She giggles at the man, letting go of his hair and putting her fingers on his forehead, his nose and finally, his left cheek.

Holding the little girl tight, he sits down on the floor, head against Carl’s bed. The room is dark and the floor surprisingly soft and warm. His eyes start to droop almost instantly and looking at Judith, who is now quietly nestling herself in his arms, he can see she’s ready to go back to sleep soon too. He knows he should get up, put Judith back in her bed and go sleep in his own room. But there’s something about the way the little girl is holding him, her little fingers holding on to his shirt, that makes him stay put. He lifts his free arm to grab a blanket off of Carl’s bed before draping it over the two of them and closing his eyes. The last thing he hears before falling asleep are Judith’s soft snores.

***

Daryl wakes with a start, the morning sunlight streaming in through the windows blinding him slightly. Looking away to the side, he sees a pair of shoes...Rick’s. The haze of sleep slips away instantly and he moves to get up when he sees Rick put his hands up in a ‘nothing’s wrong, stay calm’ kind of way before pointing at Daryl’s lap. Judith’s still sleeping softly in his arms, her hand still clutching his shirt.

“Goodmorning”, Rick smiles lazily as Daryl looks back up.

“Morning”, Daryl grunts back, his voice rough from sleep. And then it clicks in his head. Carl! He looks around, looks up at the still empty bed and carefully gets up, holding the little girl close. “Carl..”

“Asleep in my bed.”, Rick says, finishing Daryl’s thought immediately as he points down the hall. “Came home a few hours ago, didn’t wanna disturb this “adorable sight”, I think was how he put it”

Daryl lets out another grunt, ready to make a comment on the mention of him being adorable when the small creature in his arms starts to move. Opening her eyes slowly, Judith lets go of Daryl’s shirt to put her fingers back on his face, this time going for the right cheek and his chin.
He pretends to bite at her fingers, making the little girl giggle loudly, before remembering they’re not alone and looking back over at Rick.

Rick is watching them. Them, not just Judith, a soft look on his face that Daryl can’t place. He’s pretty sure he’s never seen it before, not just not on Rick but on anyone. At least not directed at him. Coughing softly, for the first time uncomfortable at the stretched out silence between them, Daryl steps closer to Rick. The movement seems to startle Rick as his eyes focus back on Daryl’s.

“You hungry?”, Rick asks, seemingly saying the first thing that came to mind.

The question is unexpected, but not unwelcome as Daryl’s stomach lets out a low grumble, “I could eat”.

With that, he follows Rick down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Setting Judith down in her high chair, he walks over to the fridge to get her some juice as Rick starts going through to cabinets to make them some breakfast. “Eggs okay?”, Rick asks and he nods absentmindedly. It’s comfortable again, the two men moving around the kitchen and each other perfectly. It feels familiar, like they’ve been doing this for years.

Putting the Sippy cup in front of Judith, who stars drinking from it immediately, Daryl walks over to another cabinet to get two glasses. Filling them both with water, he puts one next to Rick, who is busy scrambling eggs, before sitting down next to Judith.

Five minutes later they’re eating breakfast, discussing their plans for the day as Rick makes sure Judith’s food lands in her mouth instead of her hair this time. Daryl can’t help but smile at the faces the little girl makes, laughing loudly as she spits a spoonful of applesauce onto Rick’s shirt. “Guess she wants some eggs too”, he says, taking the spoon from Rick so the other man can clean up. Rick’s rubbing a towel over his shirt, silently cursing the stain, when he looks back up and falls silent. He was more than ready to make a remark about a lack of teeth or Daryl’s bad influence on his little girl, but the scene before him knocks the air out of his lungs. The big bad biker, as he’s sure some people think of Daryl, is making soft motorcycle noises as he waves the spoon in front of Judith’s face before letting it reach her mouth. The little girl giggles again and Rick can’t help but enjoy the warmth spreading through him for the second time that morning at his little girl’s laughter and the man making her laugh.

All too soon, the moment is lost as they are drawn back into the real world by the sound of the front door opening. Carol comes in, followed closely by Aaron, who she no doubt ran into during her morning stroll and has been silently trying to get rid of ever since, as her morning strolls were her ‘me’ time. Walking into the kitchen, Carol quickly focuses her attention on Judith, who’s still in her now applesauce stained PJ’s, as Aaron walks over to Daryl to discuss working on the motorbike and their upcoming trip. Daryl looks over at Rick, shooting him an apologetic look, as the other man softly excuses himself.

Carol follows him upstairs, talking about changing Judith’s outfit before dropping her off at Maggie’s for the day. Rick nods, his head a little fuzzy as he tries to decipher the look Daryl had shot him and the way it made him feel. He runs his hand through Judith’s hair before leaving Carol to it and going into his own room.

He’s in the bathroom when he hears Carol leave, Carl still fast asleep in his bed. When he walks downstairs a few minutes later, the kitchen is deserted. He writes Carl a small note, explaining he’s on look-out and won’t be back until nightfall, before leaving the house.

***

Closing Aaron and Eric’s garage as he leaves, Daryl wipes his stained hands on his equally stained pants. He’d been working on the motorbike all day and was happy to report that it was ready to be taken for a spin. It had been another sunny day, so he enjoyed the coolness the setting sun brought with it. Walking around the compound, the breeze playing with his hair, he finally let his mind drift off. This morning had been nice. Really nice, sure. But it was also weird that it seemed to mean so much to him, right? It wasn’t as if this had been the first morning they’d had breakfast together, just the three of em. And they’d always been in sync, always able to know what the other was thinking at a glance. And that, that was it, wasn’t it?! Because he hadn’t known, not today. The glances Rick shot him in Judith’s bedroom, the glances he’d shot him over breakfast. And what the hell was with that sad look when Carol and Aaron had come in?

And okay, maybe the realization doesn’t just dawn on him now. Maybe he’s known how he felt about Rick for a while now. But does that really change anything? Maybe he’s reading the signs all wrong, maybe he’s subconsciously changing the actual situations into the things he wants them to be, maybe, maybe, maybe.
He stops walking as his thoughts overwhelm him like a kick to the gut. Taking a deep breath, he feels tired and worn down all of a sudden. It takes him a minute to realise where he is, his feet having dragged him back home as if on automatic pilot. He doesn’t know how long he stands there, just staring at the house. He seems to finally realise he’s looking like a stalker, when the front door opens to show a smiling Carl.

“Hey creeper. You coming in or what?”, the boy asks smiling, before producing a plate of cookies seemingly out of thin air. They’re Carol’s, freshly baked, the smell hitting him even from that distance and he finally decides to move. “Yeah”, he breathes softly as Carl steps away from the now open door, no doubt going back into the kitchen from where Daryl can hear multiple voices coming. The kid looks so much like his father sometimes.

Closing the front door, Daryl takes a moment to enjoy the sounds of his family. He hears Michonne talking about some kind of chocolate cake to Carol and Maggie, Rick and Carl talking to Glenn about a horror movie from the late 90’s and yes, that’s Abraham and Tara cutting in with their own little reviews of said movie. They’re planning some kind of movie night, a thing he had never even considered possible again before Alexandria. He smiles softly, thinking about these people that have become so important to him, before making the small walk over to the kitchen.

Rick’s the first to notice him, turning towards him as if sensing his presence, a small smile playing on his lips like they’re sharing some kind of inside joke. No matter how hard he tries, Daryl can’t bring himself to smile back, just nodding slightly before moving closer to the table. At this, the rest of the group starts noticing him, Tara sliding a glass of water over to him as Carl points at the plate of cookies. He takes both gratefully just to have something to keep him busy. He doesn’t take a seat, holding the glass and leaning back against the wall, distancing himself from the group slightly. Nobody seems to notice the glassy look in his eyes. Nobody but Carol, who keeps shooting him concerned glances every other second. He shakes his head at her after a while, taking a bite of his cookie and hoping she’d drop it. Luckily for him, she does. For now.

Daryl eats the last of his cookie, absentmindedly licking the chocolate of his fingers when he feels Rick’s eyes on him again. They make eye contact and Rick’s face is unreadable, again. It makes Daryl nervous but not uncomfortable…which in itself makes him even more nervous. Averting his eyes, he drains his glass before placing it in the sink and walking out of the kitchen. He grunts something about going to bed and hears some “goodnights” thrown after him, Rick’s voice not among them.

***

He doesn’t know how long he lays there, just staring at the ceiling. All he knows is that it must’ve been hours as the sun starts creeping in through the windows. The house is quiet now, everyone having gone to bed hours ago. Deciding it’s no use to stay in bed, he gets up and goes downstairs. The kitchen is quiet and Daryl decides that he likes it. It’s nice, knowing everyone is safe asleep either upstairs or in the house next door. He makes some breakfast, which mostly consists out of some bread and a spare cookie Carol left for him in their secret drawer in the kitchen. He could truly kiss that woman sometimes.

He’s going out on a short run with Aaron today, mostly just getting a view of a certain area to their left instead of actively looking for people. He hasn’t told anyone, yet he’s sure they all know, so he decides to stay inside this morning in case anyone comes by with special requests.

As the morning progresses and everyone starts waking up, it turns out that was a good idea. Carol has a list of baking supplies (though that list mostly consists out of her favourite chocolate brands), Eugene some type of batteries and Carl asks for something neither of them is actually familiar with yet Daryl still nods at him confidently, knowing it’s for Enid. Rick comes downstairs last, with only Daryl and Carl still in the house. He’s holding a smiling Judith who makes grabby hands at him as soon as she sees him. Tapping her nose lightly, Daryl gets up, grabbing his backpack. “I’m off”, he says, walking past Rick before stopping, putting a tentative hand on his shoulder, “Any last requests?”

“Don’t do anything stupid?”, Rick says and it breaks whatever this tension was between them as both men let out a laugh.

“Can’t make any promises”, Daryl says as he’s putting on his backpack. He softly runs his hand through Judith’s hair before doing his signature nod at the two Grimes men, “See you tonight”

Rick stares after him, a soft look on his face. He doesn’t even know he’s doing it until he feels Carl’s hand on his arm, a soft “He’ll be fine” coming from him. And he knows, he knows that Daryl will be fine. It’s just…. He doesn’t know exactly what it is. So he just nods at Carl, who kisses Judith’s head before leaving, and puts Judith in her high chair.

“Guess it’s just the two of us today”

***

There had been a little town not too far out, surrounded by thick trees, making it almost invisible to anyone not specifically looking for it. Because of this, and the fact that there must have been only a small amount of residents, things like the local pharmacy and grocery store were still stocked and mostly intact. They’d loaded up Aaron’s car, leaving the small town as the sun began to set so they’d make it home before nightfall. Arriving at the gates, Rosita and Abraham had greeted them like champions coming home from the world cup, Abraham even punching Daryl’s shoulder lightly as they’d closed the gate behind him.

Like the previous evening, the village had seemed deserted by the time he got in. Turning the porch light off as he closed the front door behind him, doing his best to stay quiet, he turned to see a soft glow coming from the kitchen. He dropped his bag, filled with bits and pieces of requests, next to the couch before taking out something small and walking into the dimly lit room. Sitting at the kitchen table, drink in the one hand, book in the other, was Rick. He looked up as Daryl walked in, closing his book and laying it down, face first.

“Hey”, Daryl grunted softly, walking over to a cabinet to get himself a glass.

“Hey”, Rick mimicked, looking up at Daryl expectantly. “…So?”

Taking a sip of his drink, some kind of instant lemonade Carl seemed to love, Daryl sat down opposite Rick. “Small town, virtually untouched. Food, water, medicine, some other knick knacks. Filled Aaron’s car to the brim. Thought Abraham was gonna cry when he let us in just now.” At this, Daryl smiled. Before Rick could respond, Daryl took a small box out of his pocket and slid it across the table.

“What’s this?”, Rick said, picking it up. It was flat, brightly coloured and rattled just slightly, the sound vaguely familiar yet he couldn’t put his finger on it just yet.

“Little something for asskicker”, Daryl grunted, a slight blush creeping its way up his neck.

A soft smile crossed Rick’s face as he took hold of the top part of the box and lifted it. Inside the box, on a tiny pink cushion, lay a thin golden necklace, the name “Judith” dangling from it in fancy writing. Rick’s throat closed up, his eyes starting to sting. He took a couple of deep breaths, running his hand over the thin, cool letters before closing the box again. It was perfect. Looking up, he caught Daryl’s eyes, as a whispered “Thank you” left his mouth.

Looking anywhere but at Rick, Daryl let out a slightly broken “Don’t mention it”.

And that was it, that was all they needed to say for now. The two men sat in comfortable silence for a little while longer, before Rick rubbed his eyes and got up. Walking past Daryl, he put his hand on the other man’s shoulder for a moment, before walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

Daryl sat there in the dimly lit kitchen for a few more minutes, before grabbing his bag and making his way upstairs too.

***

As he woke, Daryl heard voices coming from the kitchen. Sitting up and straining his ears, he determined they were happy, excited voices. It was weird, not having to wake up in fear on a daily base. And although he knew a little fear was healthy in this world, he didn’t mind the happy noises coming from the kitchen one bit today.

He felt good, happy even, as he thought back to all the things they’d brought back yesterday. Not just the food and medicine, but also the little things like a few rolls of (what he was sure were) stale Oreos as requested by the Grimes men and of course, Judith’s necklace.

Throwing on a pair of pants and a clean-ish shirt, he made his way downstairs only to be met with happy, off key singing, directed at him. He wondered for a second if they were all drunk already before he noticed the bottles of coke on the table and saw Eugene nibbling on a Snickers. Aaron had come by to share the loot.

There were cheers and soft pats on his shoulders as he awkwardly nodded them away. It wasn’t until Rick handed him a glass of coke with a wide smile that Daryl actually smiled back, finally deciding to just enjoy the love he was receiving from his family. ‘Things will get tough again soon enough, best to just enjoy it for now’, Rick had said a few days back as he’d come home with some freshly picked apples. Daryl had grunted at him, reluctantly taking the apple Rick had shoved in his face with a firm “Eat”. But now, seeing everyone laughing again, a bit like a few nights ago, he felt a weight lift off of his shoulders for a second. He felt light, he felt loved, he felt happy and he was gonna enjoy it, even if it was just for now.

Carol came over to him, bumping his shoulder with her own, smiling at him. “You did good, pookie” Smiling back slightly, enjoying hearing his old nickname again, he suddenly remembered his backpack and held up his finger at her as if to say ‘wait here’ while he all but ran upstairs.

Coming back downstairs mere seconds later, backpack in hand, soft noises from upstairs made him stop. Dropping his backpack as he turned around, he felt a hand on his shoulder as Rick came up beside him. “I’ve got it”, he said softly, as if sharing a secret with Daryl, “We’ll be down soon”.

Nodding, Daryl picked up his bag again and made his way into the kitchen. Opening his bag, he started distributing the special items to the rightful owners, feeling a big like Father Christmas as he saw everyone’s face light up at the gifts. Carol even kissed his cheek as he handed her a few bars of chocolate.

He’d continued emptying his bag further, handing Carl a few rolls of Oreos while secretly slipping him the Lip Smackers he’d asked for for Enid (it had apparently been something between Enid and her favourite aunt), when Rick came up behind him. Turning around to hand Rick the remaining rolls of Oreos, he noticed the slight golden shine coming from Judith’s neck… She was wearing the necklace.

Looking up at Rick, he saw the other man smile brightly at him and yes, this time he did return it. Because this had been it, a small moment between the two men that could have been meaningless to an outsider, but hadn’t been to the two men. Taking the Oreos from Daryl, he held the little girl out towards him slightly. As Judith’s hands started grabbing at his hair again, he laughed, pretending to bite them again as he took the little girl from Rick’s hands. Holding her close, he slowly ran his hand over the necklace. It took him a moment to notice the room around him had gone quiet.

“It’s beautiful”, Carol said softly, breaking the silence. The others joined in, silently complimenting the beautiful little girl and her new necklace. It wasn’t until Carl said “It’s perfect” that Daryl looked up, catching a slight smile and nod from the young Grimes.

The silence returned, growing uncomfortable as everyone just stared at Judith, unsure of how to continue. Luckily, Tara (who has clearly been hanging around Rosita far too often) was there to break the tension with a smile and a dramatic flick of her hair, “Girl knows how to accessorize, putting us all to shame”. As everyone laughed, Daryl shot her a grateful look before focussing back on the little girl. She wasn’t fascinated with his face today, but with his shirt, running her fingers over the collar, grabbing it tightly every few seconds before letting go. Absentmindedly, he kissed the top of her head.

The group didn’t notice, far too busy chatting again, discussing the different items everyone had requested and received. But Rick had. Just like he had noticed the moment between Daryl and Carl earlier. And if he was being honest, they had given him hope.

Rick knew how he felt about the other man, his best friend, his brother. Looking back, he knew brother was the wrong word for it. Not just because it didn’t even begin to cover it, but mostly because that was definitely not what Daryl was to him. Daryl was more to him, so much more and for a second, he saw the possibility of a future with him, a family.

He’d let his mind drift of before, thinking about the other man and although he knew Judith wouldn’t have a problem with it, he wasn’t too sure about Carl. Thinking back to the scene before him just now, he felt ashamed for having had that little trust in his son.

The sparks of hope had been there deep within him for days, had been there when he’d waited for Daryl after his hunt, when he’d found him asleep with Judith in his lap and especially last night, when they’d shared a moment over the now most important piece of jewellery in his life. There was a time when his wedding ring had been the most important piece of jewellery in his life, but looking at his little girl now, he knew that that had been nothing compared to the feeling he’d had when he’d opened that box last night. Nothing compared to the way Daryl had looked, nothing compared to the way he’d sounded when he’d said ‘Don’t mention it’. There was something there and maybe, just maybe it was time to act on it. Maybe it was time to take a chance at being happy, for however long they had left.

Looking back up at Daryl, he sees the other man staring at him, worried. Waving his hand as if to say ‘nothing’, he turns back to the group, trying to catch up on their conversation. It takes him a minute to gather that they’re back to discussing a movie night. The location is quickly chosen as all hands go up when Tara asks, “Who votes for Rick’s house?” As Rick takes a moment to process the fact that everyone sees this as his house, even the people living here, no questions asked, he sees Carl and Carol smiling fondly at something next to him. Looking over, he sees that Daryl has his right hand raised while his left hand is raising Judith’s. The little girl is giggling at him, raising her other hand too. Rick just stares at them, completely forgetting about the discussion at the table as the rest of the group starts discussing movie choices.

He doesn’t know how long he stands there, just looking. It isn’t until the people at the table start getting up that he looks back at the group, having almost forgotten they were there. Carl is the last to leave the kitchen, not having a job to do today.

“Tonight okay?”, he asks as he stands before Rick and it takes Rick a moment to realize he’s talking about the movie night.

“Yeah, sure.” He needs to physically shake his head to get out of his hazy daydream before asking, “Which movie did you guys choose?“

At the smirk on Carl’s face, he knows he’s going to regret his question. “It”.

Groaning softly, he drops his head as he says, “Guess I’ll take watch tonight then”.

Laughing, Carl pats his shoulder in mock sympathy before leaving the house, no doubt going over to the others to inform them about the movie night.

His eyes still facing the floor, he’s startled by the sudden laughing coming from the other side of the kitchen. Daryl had gone over to the high chair, setting Judith down before getting her juice and breakfast. As he stands in front of the fridge, hand on the door, he turns around, “Clowns, really? Who would’ve thought...” A smirk forming on his lips, he turns around to finally open the door and get Judith’s juice.

“Shut up”, Rick retorts quickly, the smile on his lips taking all the anger out of the statement. “I was young, we were camping and one of my friends thought it would be funny to dress up and chase us around with a knife in the middle of the woods.” Another loud laugh from Daryl and Rick couldn’t help but laugh along as he said, “Careful now. I might just find a dress up kit around here and hang around your bedroom in the middle of the night, see how you like it.”

“Now now, don’t go around making promises you can’t keep”, Daryl throws back, his smile still matching Rick’s as he hands Judith her juice and sets down a fresh jar of applesauce before…silence. Rick swears he can see the exact moment it dawns on Daryl that he had, in fact, said that out loud.

As he stand there, frozen, a now familiar blush creeping up his neck, he starts fidgeting, looking around. Rick knows this look all too well, has seen it on the man before in the past. He’s uncomfortable, ashamed, and looking for the quickest way out.

And it would be so easy for him to ignore what just happened, to just go over to Judith and continue his day as if nothing had happened, as if Daryl didn’t just turn his tiny spark of hope into a raging fire. But haven’t they danced around this long enough now?

He waits for a moment, giving Daryl a chance to leave. To his surprise, Daryl just hangs his head, shoulders sagging, as he lets out a deep breath. So Rick takes a step closer, then another. Nothing. He’s waiting for Daryl to look at him, to do something. He’s unable to read the situation before him which makes him nervous, even more nervous than a man who is about to declare his undying love for his best friend already is. Taking another step, he’s almost at Daryl’s side now. This is it, this is his moment to make a move.

A soft knocking sounds breaks the spell and Daryl looks up like a deer in headlights.

“Daryl, you still in there?” a voice asks from the porch. It’s Eugene, the only person of their group who still waits to be let into the house. And in this moment, that might be a good thing. Well, good? The moment is broken, Daryl coughing uncomfortably as he looks at anything but Rick while walking towards the voice and out the door. Defeated, Rick sits down next to his still smiling daughter. It takes him a minute to find the strength to open the jar of applesauce, as he tries to make sense of the last 5 minutes.

Judith doesn’t seem to notice her dad’s inner turmoil as she starts pouting her lips, making weird noises whenever the spoon comes close to her face. It takes a moment for Rick to realise she’s trying to copy Daryl and after a deep breath, he starts making the motorbike noises for her as she eats the applesauce without spitting it out once.

***

Maggie came by to pick Judith up not long after breakfast that morning. She was talking excitedly about the movie night and Rick had just nodded and smiled at her.

He’d felt lost after Maggie and Judith left, not knowing what to do with his day. Seeing as he’d be on look-out all night, it was best if he went back to bed for a few hours. But he couldn’t, not yet anyway, his mind racing, his heart beating unsteady in his chest. He needed to talk to Daryl, now more than ever. But would Daryl want to talk to him? He’d seemed relieved when Eugene had shown up and Rick was not ready to process that fact yet…

So, he stayed inside for a few hours, rearranging the living room until it looked fit for a proper sleepover. Because let’s face it, that’s what movie nights always ended in, zombie apocalypse or not. He also checked the cabinets for some junk food, hiding two rolls of Oreos in his bedroom before laying the remaining ones with the packets of crisps and m&m’s Aaron and Daryl had brought home yesterday. They’d all worked really hard these past weeks and deserved one careless evening where they could stuff their face and laugh without judgement from anyone.

By midday, Rick knew he needed to get out of the house and find something, anything to do. He walked around Alexandria, looking for a job, when he passed by Aaron’s house. He looked over automatically, fully expecting Daryl to be there. Even after finishing working the bike, Daryl’d spent most of his days in Aaron and Eric’s garage, taking care of his new toy. But the garage was locked, no movement or lights in the house indicating anyone being there.

Slightly disappointed, he’d continued walking. By the time the sun began to set, he’d helped out at different places from carrying medical supplies into the infirmary to helping Glenn and Abraham reinforce some walls near the south side of the compound. Deciding it was best to rest a bit before his shift, he walked home.

This time, he did find Daryl at Aaron and Eric’s, but not working on his motorbike. The three men stood on the porch talking, seemingly discussing the movie night. Although he didn’t know the two men that well yet, he couldn’t help but feel connected to Eric as he saw the man’s face contort at the mention of a certain clown. He’d nodded at the men as he walked by, trying his best to ignore Daryl.

He’d had some time to think this afternoon and in the end, his decision was to give Daryl some space. He hadn’t been happy with his own decision but it seemed like a good idea, right?

***

Two hours of restless sleep later, it seemed like the worst idea he’d ever made. How does making things awkward between them help? Shaking his head in annoyance, he gets up and puts on a warm sweater. Opening the bedroom door, he hears excited voices drifting upwards as he makes his way over to the staircase.

Michonne’s the first person to greet him as he comes down the stairs. Smiling, she jabs him lightly in his side as she says. “What’s this I hear, you’re not sticking around for the movie? But there are Oreos!”

“Someone has to be on look-out”, he says, proud of the way he sounds. It’s almost like he actually means it, like he’s sad he’ll be missing the movie.

“You know what’s funny?”, she says thoughtfully, “Daryl used the same excuse. Don’t worry though, your secret’s safe with me” At this, she winks at him.
It feels like he’s falling, the ground ripped from underneath him as he tries to make sense of everything Michonne just said. “I…uhmm”
“Stop worrying, everybody’s afraid of something”, she continues after seeing Rick’s startled expression. “Can you believe I used to be scared of mice?”. She laughs, softly clapping him on the shoulder and she’s gone.

He has a number of similar conversations with Maggie, Glenn and Tara before reaching the kitchen. Carl’s busy dodging drops of applesauce as Judith squeals happily, waving her hands in glee. He’s making airplane noises, the same Rick and Lori used to make for him when he was young. It warms Rick’s heart whenever he sees those two together, Carl finally being able to do normal big brother things.

Carol’s baking cookies, sliding a fresh batch into the oven before looking up at Rick. She gives him a curious smile and if it hadn’t been for his kids being in the same room, he’d have tried to work out its meaning. But the thought is forgotten as he looks over, seeing Carl’s shirt slowly turn into a battlefield. “Here”, he says, taking the spoon from Carl as he shoves a towel into his now empty hands, “Try this”. He starts making motorcycle noises, swinging the spoon in Judith’s face before bringing it closer to her mouth. She eats it happily and after a while even waves her hands as if indicating ‘more’.

Rick doesn’t need to look up to know the other two are looking at him. He also doesn’t need to look up to know they know. So he doesn’t, instead continuing to feed Judith until the jar is empty and her eyes start to droop. Taking the empty jar from his hands, Carl shoots him a soft smile before picking Judith up and taking her into the living room.

It’s just him and Carol now. Should he ask her, should he say something? As his mind starts to spin with possible questions and answers, not all of them positive, he feels Carol moving closer. “Have fun tonight, okay? Just because you’re not coming to movie night doesn’t mean it has to be a boring evening for you two”. And with that, she walks into the living room too.

So he’d been right, he had been thát obvious.

As the living room filled up, Rick made his way out. The walk to the front gate was quiet and cool, quite pleasant actually. Or at least, it would have been pleasant if it hadn’t been for the fact that his mind was still trying to take in the words Carol had spoken.

A small cheer could be heard from the platform as Rick reached the gate, Rosita quickly making her way down and over to Abraham who’d been on gate duty, before saluting and all but running over to the crowded house. Climbing up to the platform, Rick looked out at the darkness in front of the gates. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there, looking at the world outside like it was a painting. It was dark, quiet and so far, nothing but the leaves had moved.

A soft creaking noise surprised him and he looked over just in time to see Daryl coming up the ladder and onto the platform.

“Hey”, he said softly, his eyes focussed more on avoiding Rick’s than anything else.

“Hey”, Rick mimicked, following Daryl’s gaze back into the darkness. “Thought you’d changed your mind” It comes out more harshly than he’d meant it, a hint of hurt staining the statement.

Daryl doesn’t respond, doesn’t even acknowledge the fact that Rick had spoken as he keeps still, staring.

Minutes pass, the two men standing next to each other in utter silence, before Daryl moves to get something from his backpack. Softly bumping Rick’s elbow with his own, he waits for the other man to look over. As Rick does, he sees a soft smile playing on Daryl’s lips, two cans of cherry coke in his hands. Handing one to Rick, their fingers touch and, surprisingly enough, linger for a second before Daryl moves away. Coughing softly as he opens his can and takes a big gulp, Daryl takes another step back.

“Why?”, Rick croaks suddenly, the unopened can still in his hands.

“Found them in that store, remembered you talking about them so I, you know, I took them” Daryl answers softly, almost embarrassed.

The fact that Daryl remembered something they’d discussed months ago did things to Rick’s head and heart, but that hadn’t been the question he’d asked. He needed to know.

“No, I mean, why? Why are you here, tonight?” No answer.

Rick was ready to give up, to just let it go when the young Dixon finally spoke. “Y’know why”

Slightly annoyed, Rick looked over at him, “Do I?”

He was trying to rile Daryl up, to get Daryl to do something, anything. At this point Rick didn’t care if that meant deciding to look up, storm off or bite his damn arm, he just needed something to work with.

He hadn’t expected Daryl to lock eyes with him, moving closer until they were practically chest to chest. “Yeah, you do”

As Daryl’s hot breath danced on his cheeks, he moved his face closer and closer until the only thing he could see were the man’s lips. Licking his own in anticipation, he waited for Daryl to take that final step. A calloused hand suddenly started making its way up Rick’s right shoulder, onto his neck, before resting softly on his cheek. As he enjoyed the tingling feeling the hand had left on his arm and neck, he felt Daryl move forward as finally, their lips met.

The kiss was softer than he’d expected, filled with love instead of lust, feeling almost like a promise. And perhaps that was exactly what it was. A promise of more to come, a promise of a future together.

As they broke apart, Rick smiled softly, leaning into Daryl’s hand slightly. “Took us long enough”, he said softly, his face still close to Rick’s. Rick couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him at that. Not a cute little giggle or anything but a full on laugh as all his doubts and fears left the window. Sliding his hand from Rick face slowly, Daryl couldn’t help but join in, bowing his head slightly as he laughed.

As his breathing returned to normal, Rick put a tentative hand on Daryl’s hip as they locked eyes again. “Yeah”, he breathed, “yeah…At least we got there in the end”. With that, he kissed Daryl again, enjoying the feel of the other man’s smile against his lips.

Neither man knew what the future would bring, what losses and crazies they’d have to deal with soon enough. So for now, they’d just enjoy it.