Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Lucy Heartfilia was born at noon, after a grueling fourteen hour labor, on July 1 of the year X767.

She was born at home with a midwife overseeing her, a doctor on standby and an army of servants flitting about the room and hallway. She was held first by her father then, swaddled in a pink blanket, given to her tired mother who beamed the moment she was in the woman’s arms.

It was the perfect day for the small family…and it was all a lie.

I am Lucy Heartfilia but, before that, I was someone else.

♦

Everyone wishes to be rich at some point but, the thing is, being rich isn’t really better then, well, not. I was never rich Before, never knew anyone better off then ‘upper middle class’ and it was fine, I was happy even if I couldn’t buy all the things I ever wanted to. Being reborn(?) into a rich family was fun for all of one year, the time between remembering Before and being deemed old enough to be assigned a tutor.

My tutor, Hinamori Hana, went over the expected things of reading, writing and basic math but also added things like dancing, speech, etiquette and even politics– each one more unpleasant then the one before. Meaning? Dance was fun, speech alright, etiquette ‘eh’ but politics was something I could have really done without.

Now, if I am entirely honest, I was kind of oblivious about the world- the role– that I was born into.

Sure, it was apparent that I wasn’t in an English-speaking nation and I was an heiress to a newly wealthy family but the life-style I was raised in was rather western and it was likely that my new parents were trying for a male heir already so the heiress bit didn’t really concern me. That said, I had no idea until I was six-  four years after I remembered, three since I was assigned a tutor- that the world I was born into was anything but normal or that my family was rather insignificant (despite the wealth) in the grand scheme of things.

I knew my name was Lucy Heartfilia, it was hard not to when Hinamori-sensei had me practice writing it in a calligraphy style, but I had thought that it was a coincidence, that my parents’ were Heartfilias and, when they had a daughter, they decided that it’d be a bit amusing to name me Lucy.

Then I turned six and Kaachan decided it was time to introduce me to magic.

Chapter Text

Were I completely and utterly honest, I will speak of how I completely and utterly freaked the hell out upon being introduced to magic and realizing that I was reborn as Lucy Heartfilia- as in a Main Character of Fairy Tail.

But I'm not, so I won't.

See, the thing about being reborn? You learn dishonesty real well out of self preservation- after all, who's going to believe a child when they say they are a reincarnated person rather then assigning them a therapist or having them committed- and, maybe it's just me, you also start to develop a mask to hide your true reactions behind expected reactions.

The whole introduction to magic was a perfect example.

♦

Both Before and Now, I've always loved when my birthday came around- it wasn't really about the presents though, I always appreciated each gift but I'd have been just as happy with receiving a comfy pair of PJs as the latest Must-Have technology.

Before, I was the first grandchild of the family which meant the majority of the family came together during the week I was born to celebrate my birth and it was something that became a habit every year- my birthday parties were always either a gathering at the grandparents house or a lunch out with whoever made it followed by a night of bowling with everyone who didn't arrive in time for lunch. Now, I was an only child that was doted on by the entire household and an heiress which translated into extravagant parties, live music, plenty guests and even more gifts but that wasn't what I loved; I loved the mornings of my birthdays, where my father always made time to eat breakfast in bed with me and Kaachan, who spent the morning weaving stories orally for us until we had to start getting ready for the party.

(Which, in hindsight, were rather blatant clues about everything given the repeated magical themes.)

My sixth birthday, however, deviated from this well-loved ritual when Kaachan neglected her habit of immediately launching into a story in favor of pulling out a blue-white (as in blue with white flecks) orb and darkening the room. Tōchan seemed both amused and resigned when his wife let out an excited little squeal as she jumped onto the bed, turning to me immediately as she displayed the orb. "Lu-chan, want to see something magical?"

"Um..." I glanced doubtfully at the orb being showed off, causing her smile to morph into a grin. "...sure?"

Kaachan beamed, pressing two fingers the orb and saying, "Sadō."

For a beat, nothing happened and I thought that the entire thing was a joke, then the white flecks shuddered and shot out of the orb towards the ceiling, whirling and darting about until they formed into a set of constellations- the twelve zodiac to be precise.

I felt sick and terrified, I wanted to throw up and cry and scream all at once because this wasn't what I'd expected, wasn't what I wanted. I didn't want to be Lucy Heartfilia, I could not be Lucy Heartfilia- could not be a Main Character with a script to follow. Maybe I'd been fine with being in a fictional world if I weren't a character that had a past and future already written before them, a kind of destiny they were meant to play out. I just wanted to live my life how I wanted to and, in that moment, I hated my parents for giving birth to me- hated myself for taking someone else's place, stealing someone else's life.

A mostly forgotten animal documentary came to mind, a particular animal stood out: a cuckoo. A bird who lays eggs in another bird's nest, whose eggs hatch and push the other eggs out the nest so the false parents would take care of them rather then their true offspring- fitting that it also could mean 'crazy'.

"So?" Lucy's Mother prompted, tone gleeful.

I swallowed back every feeling the realization caused then dragged out the well-used childishness and beamed, "It's amazing, Kaachan! Lu-chan try it?"

Lucy's Mother clapped while her father sighed, "Yes! I'm going to be teaching you to use magic starting tomorrow, You'll even," the woman winked. "Learn about the kind of magic I used to use."

"Wow!" I gapped as expected, snuggling into her side when her arms opened and changed the subject entirely. "Lu-chan wants her story now." 

I didn't pay much attention to the story (beyond the semi-hysterical realization that the majority of the stories were about the zodiacs) and spent the rest of the day quiet and withdrawn, though I managed to pass it off as anxiousness over learning magic- which wasn't even a lie. I was anxious about it, though less of excitement- I would be lying if there wasn't some excitement because, well, magic- and more of worried what if I can't? kind of feeling.

But, over all, I remained calm until the moment I was alone in my room where, safely curled up under my blankets, I allowed my self to cry and mutter a string of rusty curses because screaming would only bring Lucy's parents and I would be forced again to face that I killed their real child and took her place.

...it was a long night that ended only when the sun started rising. I don't know what time it was, it felt like an early five AM, but when it was light enough to see properly, I got out of bed and went to the area of my room for toys that weren't restricted to the Play Room to grab a bunch of blank papers and a couple of crayons. Then I set to writing down everything I knew about Fairy Tail; what I remembered from the anime, what I'd heard about the manga, what was common in fanfiction and what I'd read on the wikia.

It was both distressing and calming to look at the list after writing it all out.

F.T.

Main Characters: Team Natsu; Natsu, Happy, Lucy, Erza, Gray, Wendy and Charla(sp?)

Fairy Tail Members: Makarov, Laxus, Mirajane, Elfman, Freed(sp?), Lisana, Cana, Gildarts(sp?), Mystogen(sp?), Gajeel*, Lily, Levy, Macao(sp?), Romeo, Juvia*, Alzack, Bisca, Evergreen

*: Were formerly enemies (Thunder Legion one also but already part of guild, L. exiled and returns after Class-S) who joined

Dragon Slayers: Natsu*, Wendy*, Gajeel*, Sting*, Rogue*, Laxus and Cobra.

*: Were actually raised by dragons, born 400 years ago and were sent to the future. Dragons actually sealed inside them ("...two reasons...to prevent slayers from becoming dragons and heal/kill Agnologia[sp?])

Allies/Friends: Lamia Scale, Blue Pegasus, Sabretooth, Quattro Cerberus, Mermaid Heel, Royal Family

Zeref: Natsu's older brother, one who helped(planned?) to send Dragon Slayers to future(Layla helps, it kills her?), immortal-ish, created demons/wrote books to summon them, is curse so things die around him(??), is rather suicidal and created his own kingdom (that is invading Fiore???)

STORY ARCS;

Meeting: Lucy, age 17 and a year after running away from home, meets Natsu in Hargeon(sp?) when she falls under the Charm of False!Salamander and Natsu interrupts spell. Lucy buys Natsu lunch as thanks and is later tracked down by False!Salamander who invites her to yacht party, bribing her with admittance to Fairy Tail. Party turns out to be a ruse to catch girls for a slave market, Lucy's keys are stolen and tossed into ocean, Natsu comes crashing through the roof and Happy rescues Lucy. Natsu gets motion sick, Happy's magic runs out and drops them into the ocean- Lucy finds her keys. Lucy summons Aquarius who send the boat to the shore- taking Happy and Lucy- and Natsu beats up False!Salamander, revealing he's the true Salamander. Natsu and Lucy run from police(?), Natsu dragging Lucy to join Fairy Tail.

Macao: Lucy joins Fairy Tail, gets an apartment and Romeo yells at Makarov over his missing father. Natsu storms out, Mirajane explains and Lucy follows Natsu. Lucy gets kidnapped by monster (Vulcan?) who was possessing Macao (Take-Over), Natsu beats up monster and reveals to be Macao Taken-Over. All return home.

Everlue: Natsu and Lucy form a team for a mission to steal a book from a mansion. Book has a secret in the form that it has magic on it that rearranges it into a letter for the job client. Everlue has Golden Key for Virgo.

Lullaby: Erza returns, makes a team of Natsu and Gray- Mira has Lucy join to keep boys from fighting. Erza knocks out Natsu on train, explains mission and all forget Natsu on train- he encounters enemy Not!Shikamaru who has Lullaby. Team goes to train station to retrieve Lullaby- Lucy remember that Lullaby is a flute that uses Death Magic, a kind of magic that kills anyone who hears it- only for Egor(?) Shinigami to trap them at station. Happy remembers Virgo's key, Virgo dig hole to bypass barrier, Natsu goes ahead with Happy and fights Shinigami while rest follow with Not!Shikamaru. Natsu wins, Not!Shikamaru steals Lullaby and car to go to Guild Masters meeting to play for the Masters, Not!Shikamaru doesn't end up playing and flute turns into a demon that Team fights. Fairy Tail mages flee due to the destruction fight caused.

Demon Island: Natsu steals S-Class mission that has a Golden Key reward, he and Lucy decide to go on mission and Gray follows as does Erza (but doesn't appear right away). Mission is to destroy moon, not moon's fault but a spell that people (Lyon, future Lamia Scale and Gray's brother/senpai/fellow student) are casting to destroy ice sealing away demon that Gray's teacher gave life to seal. Natsu prevents Gray from Minato-style suicide, Team beats bad guys, demon revealed to have died. Sagittarius.

Phantom War: Lucy's dad pays Phantom Lord to kidnap her and return her to him, Phantom attacks first FT guild then Levy's team. FT retaliates by storming PL guild, Lucy is kidnapped by Juvia and FT Master is rendered bed-bound. Lucy jumps out window, Natsu catches her and they return to FT who are preparing for a second attack. PL's guild moves and attacks FT with cannon that Erza exhausts herself blocking, Mira sends Lucy into hiding and Natsu is sent to destroy canon while rest defend guild from shade attacks. Loke/Leo has bad feeling and goes after Lucy and (X), Natsu manages to destroy canon, PL set on new attack that relies on Element 4 to use, Gajeel kidnaps/attacks Lucy until Natsu comes to fight him. Juvia fights Gray. Fairy Tail wins.

Leo: Lucy realizes that Loke is actually Leo who is forced to stay in human world, cut off from his magic, as punishment for getting his summoner killed (trying to protect Aries). Loke is dying when Lucy finds him and uses all her magic to force gates for all her keys open which summons Spirit King who she convinces (how!?) to forgive Loke. Lucy gains Leo's key.

Heaven Tower: Team (Juvia stalking) go on vacation(??) that ends with someone kidnapped. Somethin-something...fighting...something-something...Jellal lying about Erza betrayal...something-something...ludicrously powerful weapon that Erza almost suicides to stop...something-something...Union Raid(??) of Lucy and Juvia...Team Wins.

Laxus: ...festival/beauty pageant. Ever turns girls in pageant to stone, Freed uses runes to force FT members to fight each other (and keep Makarov from stopping it). Erza fights Ever, Lucy fights B(??) and Mira fights Freed. Natsu and Gajeel fight Laxus, win and Laxus gets exiled.

Wendy: Multiple guilds meet (Wendy introduced) to combat great enemy of the Oracieon Seis(sp?); Cobra (can hear thoughts, poison dragon slayer), Racer (effects speed, distance is best), Brain (????), Midnight (illusions, reflects attacks), ?? (??), Angel (celestial mage with Aries, Scorpio[?] and Gemini). Jellal reborn (???). Wendy joins FT.

Edolas: Gildarts? Mystogan. Alternate World. Evil-Erza. Kingdom converting FT members into power. Exceeds (talking/flying cats) home. Gajeel meets Pantherlily. Lisana is really alive. FT returns with Lisana.

Tenrou: S-Class test. Loke is Gray's partner, Happy is Natsu's and Lucy is Cana's. Evil Guild (Hades, Ultear and Meredy[?]) attacks, FT manages to win. Agnalogia attacks, Mavis (First Master) saves them by sealing them away for seven years. Gildarts is Cana's father.

Key: Seven years passed, Tenrou group appear and find out how much time has passed. Lucy finds that her father believed she would return, paid for rent and died a month before she returned.....Lucy is turned into a key?? Everything turns out alright. Also, something about a sentient-evil doll that betrays Lucy?

Grand Magic Games: FT takes part in GMG, Raven Tail cheats, FT has two teams, FT wins, Lucy is kidnapped and is rescued by Natsu, Lily, Wendy and Mira. Jellal is temporarily part of FT Team B, Sting becomes Sabretooth Guild Master(?) and there are two time travelers (Lucy and Rogue) who come through the Eclipse Gate (collects magic from games, Celestial Magic based [hence Lucy- and Yukino- kidnapping] and based off of something from Zeref[?]). F-Rogue convinces Princess to open E-Gate which allows dragons to come to the future so F-Rogue could use them to attack (something about remaking the world/killing Agnologia??) but Lucy (and Yukino with the help of all 12 Zodiacs) manages to close the gate before more then seven can come through. Dragon Slayers(including Cobra) fight dragons (Natsu befriends Fire Dragon [Atlas Flame?] based on fact that Igneel is his father and the dragons friend/king) while rest of wizards fight draconic monsters, Gray dies but Ultear uses Arc of Time (?) to rewind time [one minute] which saves not only his life but others during the battle. Fight ends when Natsu- with the help of Atlas- attacks F-Rogue and has them falling out of the sky- like a falling star/meteor- and crash into the E-Gate which destroys the gate, thus sending the dragons/F-Rogue back to their times.

There is a victory party held by royals and, also, F-Rogue killed F-Lucy before Princess opened gate.

Between: FT gets a new guild hall, something about a Mole and Yukino shows up because something wrong with Spirit Keys. Princess and Knight also show up. FT end up fighting Zodiacs (altered forms) then going to Spirit World(?) where they find that the Spirit King is going crazy. Some people are turned to constellations, some people fight it while Natsu (and Happy) go inside it and destroys a giant ball(?) that is absorbing the King which turns things back to normal. There's also something about Sabretooth having a pool, Natsu babysitting Asuka (Alzack and Bisca's kid), Lucy learning (trying to at least) transformation from Mira which leads to Erza being a Superhero, Ichiya(?) experimenting in Magnolia and a mayor trying to swindle Laxus.

Also. Flare who was apparently raised by giants that ended up frozen, Team being assigned to save frozen village by Warrod (a former FT member [foundering member even] and Wizard Saint). There are treasure hunters, Minerva and a guy who might be a demon and changes people into children which weakens them- Gray beats him and manages to unfreeze the Eternal Flame (actually Atlas Flame) which Natsu helps re-ignite. Atlas Flame unfreezes the rest of the village, using up the rest of his life-force(?) and Minerva is turned into a demon by Tartarus.

Tartarus: Council members killed by demon (Jackal) and Thunder Legion encounter a demon (Tempest) that attacks a former council member (Makarov's friend, opened a restaurant) who Laxus defeats but demon lets out poisonous gas (actually anti-magic particles, can be frozen and needs demon's blood to make cure) which Laxus inhales to try to save everyone (though it doesn't really succeed). FT sends teams out to other former council members to guard (Loke knows some addresses) but only Natsu's group (guarding a small, cat guy with a granddaughter in a town by the sea?) arrives in time to actually protect them. Natsu fights Jackal (who can cause explosions with anything he touches, Natsu eats explosion as it explodes??) and wins but Jackal tries to blow up entire town as revenge- Happy saves town by flying them high into the sky and manages to survive. Elfman and Lisana encounter a demon (??? Has horns, dark hair and can control people with 'Marco?' except for Mira) and Lisana ends up kidnapped, Elfman brainwashed to destroy FT.

Learn about FACE (a weapon that can cancel magic through the continent, is kept 'off' by living-link magic [? basically killing all three 'switches' will turn it 'on'] of who, only Jellal is still alive and Chairman [former?] know who are) and Makarov has FT find out where Chairman lives (finding other former council members in process) and sends out Mira and Erza to protect him when they learn address. Chairman is a traitor working with Tartarus, Erza and Mira end up kidnapped (Erza to be tortured for Jellal's whereabouts and Mira to be turned into a demon like Minerva), Natsu finds out and tracks down Tartarus guild (a moving block that is a demon?) to rescue them but ends up frozen by Silver (who froze Flare's village, is Gray's father that is being controlled by the skull/bone necromancer?) and captured with Lisana while Happy manages to escape to inform guild.

During all that, the O-Seis escape prison, fight Jellal and join his guild while Chairman manages to switch the 'key' from Jellal to himself which gets him killed- meaning that FACE needs to be turned on manually.

Levy figures out where Tartarus is (as it moves, was originally by border but ends up over Magnolia) while Elfman sets a bomb in basement that Cana finds out, he attacks her and she seals him into a card then runs upstairs to seal everyone else into cards and has Exceeds fly them to safety/attack enemy.  In the lab (where Mira is being turned into a demon, though it doesn't work thanks to her Satan Soul magic) the demons can be regenerated, Mira ends up destroying them during her fight with the Mind-Controller while Lisana (Natsu and Lisana ended up free when 'block' started shaking and made a Heat Sword come into their reach) fights the rabbit girl. Natsu fights the striped guy who absorbs souls (will release/throw up if Lucy 'forces gate closed' for 'spirits'), Juvia fights the Necromancer, Gray fights Silver (something about Iron Balls??), Gajeel fights shark guy, Wendy fights when she goes to stop FACE (uses Dragon Force, destroys FACE but is still counting down so Charla sets to explode, Wendy refuses to leave her so they set it off together but Doranbolt manages to teleport them out in time), Laxus some how manages to fight Tempest again (getting blood for cure, has to defeat in one attack otherwise he regenerates) while Erza fights Minerva then Kyoka (her torturer).

MG-Demon King manages to capture FT (turns the 'block' into a demon? That eats them??) but Lucy manages to escape capture which leads to everyone aiming for her, she summons Loke and Virgo to fight then summons Aquarius despite exhaustion- Loke and Virgo end up being sent back to Spirit World by Jackal(?). Aquarius tells Lucy to break her key to summon the Spirit King to free FT (it doesn't kill her but Lucy is not allowed to summon her), Spirit King frees FT and fights the Demon King while Lucy (Star Dress Aquarius) beats Jackal which makes Spirit King have to go back to Spirit World. Various fights (Gajeel, Laxus, Juvia, Erza, Gray) happen after this, Sting and Rogue appear (face off the Demon King) and it is revealed that FACE isn't just the one tower but 1000s of them spread across Fiore and that either Necromancer or Mind-Controller can manipulate the Chairman's body/magic to set them all off at once.

Gray becomes a Demon Slayer, Agnologia appears, FACE is activated, dragons appear from where they were sealed in the Slayers, Igneel fights Agnologia, Makarov goes to FT's greatest secret, Natsu fights Demon King with Twin Slayers (and Gray later) while the other dragons destroy FACE completely. Natsu and Gray defeat Demon King, FACE activates, Igneel subdues Agnologia, the dragons work shows as magic returns and Agnologia makes a comeback as the dragons show up- Igneel dies but still manages to drive off Agnologia(?). The dragons move on after explaining a bit.

After: Natsu goes on a training trip for a year, Gray disappears with Juvia, Fairy Tail is disband and all go their separate ways save Lucy who eventually becomes a reporter to keep track of other members. Fairy Tail Zero (about the founding of Fairy Tail) is shown and Natsu returns to the GMG where he meets Lucy again, Lucy tells him about the disbanding of FT and he finds out that she's keeping track of everyone. Natsu does something big (makes a sign of fire at the palace for Fairy Tail) that has police after him and drags Lucy out of the capital in a way much like their first meeting.

What I Think I Know: Lucy gets Star Dresses for other zodiacs, Wendy ends up at Lamia Scale, Gray abandons Juvia and goes down a dark path in his desire to destroy END (promised Silver?), Natsu is actually END, former FT members aren't easily convinced to return, Makarov is fighting/preventing an invasion (why he disbanded guild??) from Zeref's empire and Makarov ends up kidnapped.

It was, actually, both more then I thought I'd remember (given it's been years since I thought about it in depth) and less then I'd hoped (particularly the Heaven Tower bit and where Capricorn's key comes from) but at least now I had a pretty solid idea of what I may face. Now I just needed to decide if it was something I could- something I would face instead of fleeing from the situation entirely.

When I thought to check, I realized that a significant amount of time had passed- that the sun had risen from 'dawn' to 'morning'- and neatly folded my papers then tucked it between the mattress box springs and the bed frame before hurrying towards the bathroom. I wasn't distrusted to wash myself per se but it was generally insisted upon that I wait for someone to help me bathe which was an annoying and embarrassing practice, thus, when I exited the bathroom and found a servant waiting for me, I was only given a vaguely disapproving look rather then scolded.

"Layla-sama is requesting you presence, Lucy-sama." the girl told me, smiling slight when she added. "I have been told to inform you that you can come in casual clothes."

Meaning no dress or uncomfortable shoes.

I smiled at her and hurried to pull on a shirt and shorts along with underwear, "Is Kaachan in her room?"

"No, Layla-sama said she will be waiting in the room you have your lessons with Hinamori-sensei." the girl said before leaving when I nodded for her to leave.

The walk to my 'schoolroom' was a quiet on, the dangers of the future looming over me along with the worry and fear of failure through either action or inaction. It was an issue, a major one that I couldn't really avoid given I was a major player in the happenings- even a catalyst at some points- but it was one that I set aside to focus on the issue of can I use magic as it was a more immediate concern.

One problem at a time.

Chapter Text

I can use magic.

But.

The thing about magic is, it is based on the spirit, will and heart of the user. And I do not have the true Lucy's spirit, will and heart. The body may yet be hers but the spirit is mine as the will, though muddled and uncertain at the moment, is also mine.

More then anything though, this heart is my own.

(When I think about it, I kind of feel like a Nobody to be honest.)

♦

Contrary to all expectation, Lucy's Mother did not have me try to use magic right off the bat. Instead, I was instructed to sit and reach for my magic; to become aware and start to learn it so that I may manipulate it for use. Basically, I was told to meditate and look for my magical core in a very Harry Potter fanon-y fashion which was in turns exciting [Fanon +10 Fame] and disappointing- as it wasn't really a new concept.

There are many tales of mindscapes, of a non-physical world dwelling within a person's very being that those disciplined enough could access; if I were to be doing this entirely naturally, it would probably take me years to do successfully but, thankfully, Lucy's Mother dragged out an old mat in good condition that had a circle of runes and had me sit at the center of the circle. The mat, well the runes, acted kind of like a mental portkey- pulling and dragging me, or a form of me, and depositing me in what was, allegedly, my mindscape.

I landed in a library, specifically in a section dedicated to manga with Fairy Tail set right before me.

The books weren't right, I knew that just by looking at the cover (which kind of literally counted as judging a book by it's cover) but was definite when I opened one up to find it was filled with a mix of text from The List and images of characters, sometimes even entire scenes I remembered. It wasn't just the single series though; each manga seemed to be like that though each had different ratio of text-to-image in them, even the 'real' books were like that though those had very few images to go along with the text but, almost like a compromise, there tended to be additional content in the form of direct quotes (apparently the Gringotts warning was something particularly memorable). It was a long aisle of manga on one side and 'real' books on the other, by the time I got to the end of the aisle it felt like hours- though that may have been my tendency to stop and look through basically each book out of curiosity-  and I wasn't really that surprised to find the aisle had a decently sized plaque reading 'Fiction - Canon' on it.

...it took more restraint then what I'd like to admit to keep from automatically going down the next aisle titled 'Fiction - Fan Creations' because, well, fanfiction but I managed.

From where I stood, I could see that there were multiple aisles that ranged from 'Nonfiction - History' to things like 'Poems' stretching out toward the left until it hit a wall with a very 'living room' area to the right that had the largest TV ever with multiple appliances near it (game consoles, DVD players, stereos and even a VHS player) with towering shelves of video games, movies and CDs.

There was even a computer tucked in there though I doubted it would be of use for something like connecting to the internet.

I admit that I wavered there, it had been a long time since I played a video game or watched a movie or been on a computer and I was suddenly confronted with how much I wanted to do any of those; I wanted to play Zelda, I wanted to watch Howl's Moving Castle, I wanted to waste time on YouTube watching AMVs or abridge episodes and parodies. I wavered, but I continued from the living room and towards a door- it was my mind, I could always come back.

Unless I lost it, a darkly amused part of me pointed out and I, very firmly, told it, shut up.

Exiting through the door had me suddenly outside which had me realizing that my mindscape was a school campus, a college one at that. Where would magic hide in a school? The thought wasn't much help because what about school- a school that wasn't Hogwarts, mind- screamed 'magical', if it was something like Disney Land then I would head for the castle but, well. I went left, towards the quad because it was, by my estimate, the 'center' of the school and I really had no idea where to start.

There wasn't anything there. It wasn't that I was expecting it to be there but...I was expecting it to be there, mostly on the basis of it being the 'center'.

From there I just kind of...wandered. Humanities, Music, Gym, Art, Student Service Center, the campus Café, Math, Communications, Administration, Behavioral Science, Social Science and even the freaking bookstore. It wasn't ever there, or maybe it was. It wasn't as if I knew what my magic was supposed to look like.

Maybe I can't find it because I don't have magic, that darker part- the little voice, my inner critic- pointed out and I shoved the thought away.

I had magic. (I had to)

A loud, disgruntled mmroow! had me whirling then staring dumbly at the cat regarding me before it deliberately blinked and turned away to clean itself. The cat was black and yellow-eyed, the kind that always seemed to show up in Halloween movies and a thought niggled at me. No way, I thought, staring at the creature who paused in its self-cleaning to look at me, ear twitching and tail swaying as if to say 'yes way' before returning to the cleaning. That's so...typical.

My magic...is a black cat?

"You're up!" Kaa- Lucy's Mother said gleefully as soon as I opened my eyes.

I eyed her suspiciously for a moment, the cat had created illusions to aid it's escape when I figured that reaching probably meant touching and it decided it did not want to be touch by some filthy human, but figured that she was real. The little monster never created a 'waking up' illusion, no it took far more pleasure in creating multiple copies of itself and scattering or giant spiders- one embarrassing but memorable moment had a pairing I liked suddenly appearing out of nowhere and going at it like they were in a Fuck or Die scenario, the startled shriek I had let out at the sudden and unexpected nakedness-SEX! had kept it from doing it again.

I was not disappointed.

"How long was Lu-chan?" I wondered, forcefully pushing away the memory.

Lucy's Mother snatched me up (not an illusion, they weren't physically substantial) and I was exhausted so I didn't protest like I should have. "Practically the entire day, which is odd- the circle usually lets people connect to their magic a couple of hours...I wonder why it took so long? Maybe I need to get a new one, it's kind of old..."

"S'fine." I mumbled, wanting more then anything to just go to sleep. "Took f'rever to find- soooh," I yawned, drawing the word out. "Many buildings to search 'n wasn't even in them...was a cat 'n had to catch it. Named it Tora."

Lucy's Mother sent me a startled glance. I should have been worried about it, I know, but-

I

was

so

tired...