Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Are you going to be okay?" 

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm going out for dinner right now." Cas stated on the phone with Sam.  He's driving the impala, because Dean didn't feel like driving that day. His head was hurting, although he was smiling as if nothing was wrong. 

"Are you sure, Cas? It's only been a week-"

"Yes, I'm fine. I'll call you later, okay?" There was silence on the other line for a beat, then, "Okay. Talk to you later." and the dial tone sounded. 

Cas hung up the phone, and switched lanes. The restaurant was on his left, not his right. Dean was quiet, which is unlike him. "Dean, how's your head feeling?" 

His husband smiled, showing off his bright white teeth. "I'm okay, Cas, don't worry about me. You worry too much." 

He says that all the time, but that didn't make it any easier for Castiel not to worry. "Did you take the pain medicine the doctor gave you?" 

"Yes, Baby." Dean reassured. 

 It was a Sunday and the sky is muggy with fog. The road was hard to see, so when Cas hits the curb as he turned into the parking lot, he wasn't that surprised.

Dean didn't get upset like he usually would. The impala was his baby, after all. More worry crept into Castiel's chest. "Are those pain killers starting to kick in? Are you tired?" He asked Dean as he looked for a parking spot. It was hard; the place was packed, but found one. Before Dean can reply, Cas turned to him. "Hold on, I'll help you out!" He unbuckled the seatbelt, got out of the car, and ran over to Dean's side. Dean just sat staring out the window, as Cas opened his door. "Are you coming?" Dean nodded as he slowly got out of the car. 

They walked hand in hand into the restaurant, as if they were a teenage couple going on a date for the first time. It certainly wasn't their first date. They came every Sunday, and got the same thing every time. 

Cas opened the door for his husband as he walked in. 

A new employee was standing there. She politely asked "How many?"

"Table for two, please." Castiel answered with a smile.

She grinned and walked them over to a table with two chairs ready for them to sit in. It's a cute little diner. Flowers were always in the middle of the table, along with salt and pepper shakers that looked like pears. "Alright, what would you like to drink?" 

Cas smiled, "I'll have a water, and he'll have one of your top-shelf whiskey." 

The lady looked at Cas, scanned over to Dean sitting across from him then back to Cas with an expression of confusion mixed with amusement. "Alright, I'll be back in a bit." 

"Thank you." He politely replied as he fixed his wrinkled shirt. Dean had forgotten to iron the clothes yesterday. The football game that was on had consumed all of his attention, so the ironing got pushed to the back burner. Dean was the one that usually did it. 

"I'll be right back." Dean said out of nowhere. He stood up out of his chair and walked toward the bathroom. He had been drinking a lot of water, so it made sense. 

Charlie, their usual waitress, grinned as she came up to the table. "Hey Castiel, where's Dean?" She is a cute little red head. Dean was real close to her. If Dean wasn’t already taken and Charlie wasn’t a lesbian, they would have hooked up years ago.   

"You just missed him, he went to the bathroom." 

"Oh, alright. Well, tell him I said hey when you get a chance, I might not be able to catch you again before you leave. I'll go ahead and have Ash start making y’alls orders." She was always so peppy, and Cas understands why Dean likes to come here sometimes to get a drink just to talk with her while he’s at work. 

"Thank you, I will." 

Dean came back as soon as Charlie was walking off. The new waitress walked over with their drinks. She didn't speak, just put them on the table. 

"You just missed Charlie. She said hey though." Cas told Dean who is still just smiling at him from across the table. When Dean didn't reply, the peppiness that Charlie gave him, slipped away and the worry reared its ugly head once again. "How's your head?" 

"It's fine." Dean answered almost immediately.

"Are pain killers finally kicked in?" Cas felt like a broken record, but maybe Dean did too. 

"I think so." He wasn't talking much, he was vague, which wasn’t new.

"Are you just tired?" He asked again, like the last time in the car. 

It feels like hours had passed before Dean spoke, "Yes, just tired." 

The food came shortly after by the same waitress, who looked at them differently, like something wasn’t right. 'Maybe she's homophobic' the Novak thought. 

Steam was coming off of Dean's burger, it was untouched. Castiel decided to ignore that fact. He didn't want to ask any more questions.

So, instead, he takes a bite out of his own burger, swallowing it down. It was bone dry or maybe it was just Cas's throat, it didn’t matter.

Dean's food was cold now, and was barely touched, actually still untouched. The worry had settled in his chest, never fully going away. "You're not very talkative today, are you?" Cas smiled, but his mind was blank. 

"You aren't either." The Winchester answered and it made Cas feel cold. His tone was almost bitter as Dean spoke. 'Did I do something wrong?' Castiel asked himself, feeling more worried than he would like. 

"Sorry, it's just that you haven't really been eating, and your head hurts, and you know I worry Dean. I worry so much about you baby. I just want you to feel better." Cas rambled realizing that his voice is cracking as he spoke. 

"You don't need to worry about me, babe. The doctor said I am fine, and I will be fine." Dean grabbed his husband’s hand, gave it a hard squeeze as he smiled softly. His green eyes still sparkled even when he didn't feel that well. 

"Okay, I trust you." Castiel nodded rubbing his thumb over the top of Dean's hand. The waitress left the check, and Cas paid with cash. He held Dean's hand as they left, just as they did when they came in. 

The drive back was quiet yet again. Castiel decided not to ask any more questions even though the same ones were running through his head at a mile a minute. 

He parked in their driveway, and they both got out of the car at the same time. 'Dean must be feeling better' Cas thought. He smirked as he locked the car and watched as Dean walked in. It had gotten pretty dark outside so the light of their house looked brighter than usual. He decided to turn all the lights off, so they didn't make Dean's headache worse. Light always hurts his eyes. Tonight, Dean didn't seem to mind it, so he decided to close all the blinds as well. 

The TV was on and Dean was lying on the couch watching his normal show. It's the show with the sexy doctor with the cowboy boots; Cas never really paid attention to the name. Castiel had gotten him the complete series on DVD last Christmas, so Dean was, of course, watching it.

Cas went over to the Winchester, and kissed his forehead. It wasn't that late yet, only about 10, but he felt drained and wasn't sure why. 

"Dean?" 

"Yeah?" Dean hummed, not taking his eyes off of the TV screen. 

"I'm gonna go to bed, is that okay?" 

"Why wouldn’t that be ok? Why so early though?" Dean seemed concerned. 

"I'm just drained. It's been a long day, I guess." Castiel shrugged as he grabbed Dean's hand and kissed it.

Dean nodded "Okay, I'll be up soon. Love you." 

"Love you too." Cas grinned as he got up. He walked up the stairs to their bedroom. The bed wasn't made up, there was dirty clothes littering the floor. Cas added to the mess by taking off all his clothes expect his boxers and leaving them on the floor. Dean would get them later, the man was kind-of a neat freak, but had been slacking the past few days. Dean hated having the room dirty, but Castiel didn't quite mind a little mess.

The bed shook as he got into it, pulling the covers up as far as they could go. He looked at the glass of water on his bedside table, and sees his reflection. 

His eyes drifted closed. He was too tired to think, so he fell asleep.

***

He awoke to a banging. It was loud and annoying, and he wasn't sure what it was. The TV downstairs was still on. Dean, probably, accidentally fell asleep down there. It happened a lot, especially when he had a headache. It was darker downstairs. The banging continued and soon was accompanied by the sound of the door bell ringing. 

Castiel got up slowly, grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt from off the ground, put them on as he walked down the stairs. His feet dragged him to the door. He wondered why Dean hadn't answered it by now. 'He is a hard sleeper' Cas thought as he went to open the door. 

Sam was standing there, and he looked as if in shock. "Sam, what are you doing here?" The Winchester didn't answer right away. He just looked around Castiel into the house. "Excuse me, where are my manners? You can come in." Cas stretched his hand out, letting Sam into his home. 

Sam didn't reply as he walks in; just looks around. "Cas-"

"Would you like a drink? We have milk, coke, um," he paused as he walked into the kitchen, "I could fix you some coffee, or get you a beer. Or maybe you would like some orange juice-"

"Cas, you-" 

"Maybe a screwdriver, you know orange juice and vodka. Dean likes those after his headaches when he wakes up in the morning. Want some wine? I think we have wine. I saw Dean drinking some yesterday, so we might be out, but-"

"CASTIEL!" Sam blurted out. Cas froze and looked over to Sam who was turning off the TV. 

"Hey! Dean was watching that!" The Novak knew Dean would be mad if it was off when he woke up. If he fell asleep on the couch he liked the TV to be on in the morning. 

"Dean won't care if it's on or off, Cas!" Sam yelled. It startled Cas. The room felt cold. He thought maybe he should give Sam a blanket or a sweater. It was also quiet. Dean would like it if some rock was playing, when he wasn’t in pain the place would be blaring Aerosmith, Metallica, or occasionally, Bon Jovi.

"Cas, it's been over a week now." Sam stated. Castiel didn't understand what the younger Winchester was talking about. He decided not to reply, but to instead grab something to drink for himself. He found a glass, poured some milk into it. He downed half of it in one go. 

"It's a Thursday, you know?" Sam frowned putting his hands in his pockets. Maybe it was too cold in the house. Dean’s body always ran on the warm side, so Cas kept the house a little on the cooler side.

Cas shook his head, and drank some of his glass. 

"Look, Cas, I know it has been hard, it's hard for me too-"

"It's Sunday, actually." Cas corrected his brother in law, looking into his drink. Milk doesn't reflect like water does. 

Sam shook his head, "Cas, it's a Thursday. I'm missing work for you. You haven't gone into work for over a week, now." 

"I don't know what you're talking about. I was at work last Friday." Cas drank the rest of his milk. Sam was in the kitchen with him, now. 

"No, Cas, you were at work, the Friday before-"

"Before what?" Cas cut him off bitterly. He clenched his fist that was holding the glass. 

Sam sighed and looks up at Cas. "The Friday before Dean died." 

It was quiet for what seemed like hours before there was a loud crash of glass smashing onto the ground. 

"Dean's not dead! He is right there!" Castiel yelled pointing at the couch where he saw Dean laying. 

Sam was wide eyed as he looked at the glass shards on the floor. "Castiel, Dean died two Sunday's ago." 

"NO!" Castiel screamed. He walked over the broken glass. Sam was surprised to see that his feet weren't bleeding. 

"Dean is right here." Cas's voice cracked as he laid his hand on Dean's. 

"Castiel, Dean died from a brain tumor last Sunday."

Castiel shook his head furiously. "SHUT UP!" His vision was blurred and he didn't know why Dean is fading as he blinks more and more. 

Sam came over and sat down on the couch and it made Cas's reality come crashing down. Where did Dean go? 

"Where is he?!" Castiel yelled looking around as tears streamed down his face. Sam wrapped his arms around Cas. He was shaking, and red. 

"No..." Castiel repeated to himself as Sam rubbed his back. "It's gonna be okay Cas... It's all okay..." 

Castiel sobbed into Sam. "He was just here! He was just right here!" 

"He's gone Cas. He's gone." 

Castiel shook his head back and forth, and brought his hands to his face. 

"We were just at the diner, and he - he just had a headache... He only had a headache and he said he was gonna be fine..." 

"He's fine now." Sam rubbed Castiel's back. 

"It was just a headache, Sam! The doctors told him that it was just a headache!" 

"They didn't know, Castiel, no one did." 

Castiel sobbed into his hands letting it all finally sink in. 

Sam was right. It was a Thursday. Dean was gone.