Chapter Text
It had been a complete and total accident. A mother was something Annie Leonhardt had never imagined she would be. Looking back at that moment, she wished that they had taken more precaution.
She had not been feeling well. She was constantly nauseas, dizzy, sleepy. She had been losing weight, but she had figured it had been from all of her recent vomiting. After a couple weeks of these symptoms, she finally broke down and visited a medic. It was when she was waiting to be seen that she realized that her monthly visitor had not come that month. Had it come the previous month? She could not remember. She was so preoccupied with work that it had never occurred to her.
The medic had found the cause of her sickness, and that was that she was pregnant.
There was only one possible father: Armin Arlert. He had been the only one she had ever slept with, so he was the only candidate. They had been together for a few years—taking their relationship to the next level about a year before—and she found herself rather fond of the boy—no, that was not right. He was a man now. He seemed to feel that way as well, and she liked that; she felt special as no one had ever treated her the way Armin treated her. He was kind and sweet and so very gentle with her.
They were still rather young, though. Both were in their early to mid-twenties and still very active in their respective sects of the military. They were very dedicated to their jobs, as well.
But, a baby?
Where would it fit in? She had never planned on anything involving children, especially the idea of her bearing a child. Yet, there she was: pregnant.
Honestly, she did not want to be a mother. She was not the caring type of person. She did not honestly care for children. But, this one would be different, would it not? It was a child created from her love she shared with Armin, so it was different from every other child, right? She was not swayed by thinking this way and felt it would be best to talk it over with Armin. Maybe he knew of a way that they could rid themselves of this situation? After all, would he even want to be a father? The concept of having a family had never shown up in any of their conversations.
She went home earlier the night that she had found out about her new condition. He was surprised that she had shown up so suddenly, so unannounced, but he was still happy to see her come home early. He had been in the middle of making dinner when she came home. He told her it would be a while being that he had not expected her home so early, but she was not really hungry, so the wait was no problem.
They had moved in together some while ago. It was easier that way. Admittedly, it was a little lonely living by themselves once they were given permission to live outside of the barracks of their respective sects, so after a couple years of dating, they decided that living together may just be a better option. Plus, that way, they were free to see each other most any time they desired.
She did not really like the idea of keeping this new information secret for long. After he chattered about his day and such, he finally asked how she was, apologizing for blabbering on about strategies and other things for so long. She waved him off, assuring him it was fine. They were eating dinner by the time he had asked about her day. It was a bit awkward at first. She did not care about talking about her day was; she really just wanted to get to the point and drop the bomb on him. She took a breath, readying herself to tell him.
“I’m pregnant.”
It was quiet for a moment before Armin’s fork dropped against his plate and Annie just stared at him as she waited for his reaction. Slowly, as the news processed, his face lit up with glee. His blue eyes were shining in delight. He wore the widest smile that she had ever seen on him. He stood up from his chair and went around to hers, pulling her up as well. He pulled her into a tight hug. She could almost swear she felt small droplets fall onto her shoulder.
She pushed him back a bit to look up at his face, studying his expression. He was crying. Was he really that happy? Something inside of her made her almost feel bad for wanting to get rid of it. It was their child. Still, she could never imagine herself as a mother. Armin was so happy, though; could she possibly take that happiness away from him? She never thought of herself as a good person and she was starting to question this. She loved this man, but she had never imagined herself as a mother. Could she possibly become one with this man by her side?
He pulled her in again. He buried his head into her shoulder as tears of happiness continued to fall.
“I love you so much, Annie,” He whispered between the tears.
She said nothing. The thought of her being a mother was weighing heavy on her mind. She was not exactly mother material, so why was Armin so happy to be starting a family with her? Did he see something she did not? She could never be a good mother and she was convinced of that mindset. Why…How could he be so happy?
She knew that he would be a wonderful father. He was a wonderful person and would make an even greater father. But her? She was cold-hearted, out for herself. She would never live up to that. That is how she truly felt.
She wanted to tell him. Tell him how she would not make a good mother and that they should not go through with the ordeal. But his smile, his smile was what reassured her that maybe everything would turn out okay. She still was not convinced she would be a good mother, but he would be a great—no excellent, she corrected herself—father and maybe she could learn to be a good one. Still, she was not sure about having a child. Yet, she saw his smile, took in every little detail of that lovely expression, and she hated even thinking about not going through with it.
“How?” She mumbled. Her own tears started to form, but out of a different emotion that his. Damn hormones, she thought. She knew that this pregnancy would not be easy…assuming she let herself go through with it that was.
"Huh?" He pulled back and rested his hands on her shoulders.
"How are you so happy about this?"
"I love you, Annie," He smiled, "I'm so happy about starting a family with you."
"I'll be an awful mother, "She mumbled, looking down at her feet. She could not bring herself to look him in the eyes. She could just feel the tension, his disappointment. "How are you so happy when you know I'll be the worst mother?"
"Is that's what's bothering you?" He laughed, his smile being relit even brighter. He pulled her in once again and this time pulled her in for a kiss. "You're going to be the best mother there can be."
And she wanted to believe him, she truly did, but she still had her doubts as she had never once considered herself mother material. Yet, his smile, his happiness, his reassurance, it would all help her through this. She could do it. The thought of her raising a child was hard to believe, but with Armin so happy about it, Annie could not bring herself to tell him she had ever thought otherwise. He was just so happy and even though she had never considered herself a good person, she could not bring herself to crush his happiness.