It 's been a long time since I found The Crimson Gardevoir for a harem story with a male/female Pokemon relationship to come out . Moreover, Pokemon are in the original, not the anthro forms of which I can't stand and I consider this a compromise of indecisive writers who are not able to bring their ambitions to the end. Therefore, it is not surprising that the list of heroes I found is short, and the ones I liked are fewer fingers on one hand. So far, your story makes a positive impression on me: of course, the moment of death from the truck caused a tired sigh and slight irritation. I understand that this is a popular joke meme about lazy writers who lack the imagination to write a more complicated version. But no matter how funny the joke is, it loses its power with repetitions. Ten repetitions is funny...hundred boring...already a close number to a thousand causes excitement and suspicion that the same lazy asses are using this joke in their favor. Sorry dude, it's a cringe right now. In any case, apart from this minus, everything else is not bad. The character really breaks out of the image of the eternally positive or (and) noble ones, which are completely prescribed in this world, but at the same time he is not an asshole and a villain. He looks more like a rude and realistic person with a soft side for those who like him. I have a couple of questions at the moment. Firstly, the number of Pokemon that your character can have for one region is limited, or is there no limit given the non-standard possibility of a voluntary Pokemon journey with him? Second, I already realized that you will reveal the members of the harem in the person of Pokemon with the time of their appearance in the plot and support such an intrigue, but they will all be women like in the same The Crimson Gardevoir? If anything, I support this option.)
Hey there, I appreciate you taking your time to give an honest and very well thought out review, that really means a lot. Zlewdomancer and the Crimson Gardevoir, as I've mentioned a few times, were pretty much my inspiration to even get into writing. I've actually spoken to him once or twice, and he's given me some good advice when it comes to writing characters and stories.
The Truck-kun part was indeed Crinje, I agree. Though that was kind of the point. This whole story is somewhat designed to take cliches and throw them on their head, sure he died to a truck, but he wasn't brought to any happy ending where an angel helped him out. He had to brute force his way through using his own mind, after going mad for a bit.
Anduin is an interesting character. He was actually intended to seem like an asshole and one who is smart and confident enough in his own abilities to get away with it. But you are correct in mentioning his soft-side. I do not like to call any character I write a self-insert, but I always include a few pieces of my own personality in there. It makes it really easy to write for them, as well as making them feel a lot more real.
I put him in the Sinnoh region to start with for a few reasons. Its the region I know the most, as it was the first pokemon gen I ever played when I was a kid, there is not really a limit to what can be brought in, Nathair is a good example of that. I will be revealing the rest of his team actually pretty quickly, as quite a few of them are very slow levelers, he would really need to start training them quickly. I planned on having them all be women, I am mostly straight IRL, and I don't want to do any injustice to any other sexuality by writing the characters wrong.
Yes, I agree. Although the prologue has a cringe, at least there are no juogs that give three or more desires, Systems, a store for points and other shit that primarily symbolize the author's laziness: in the end, having something for this character is easier to develop, and the author to think. Speaking of your character: honestly speaking, after rereading, I was a little confused by the list of his studied combat skills. Even if he was hypothetically born in boxing gloves with a sword clenched in them, this is a great feat for the twentieth anniversary. Fortunately, all the difficulties that your character went through and the fatal wound from the wolf crosses out the title of Marty Sue. Third, I really like Pokemon Snivy. This Pokemon is one of the few that maintains its sweetness and beauty at all stages of evolution. However, why did you make a spoiler before the appearance of this Pokemon in the plot? Even most small children will guess which green snake you were talking about. Keep the intrigue in the story, it attracts the reader's interest ;-)
Honestly, I admit I was intrigued to give him a lot of fancy abilities, and i have a few more that I am still deciding on. Ultimately, my idea going into this story was to have a simple human, who is just really smart and really skilled, make his way through the pokemon world. You are correct in saying it is a great feat, there are reasons for that. A lot of the training he did was abbreviated, or has not been explained just yet. I cannot say too much more without spoiling even more of the story, but his family life might have had something to do with it.
The whole snivy line are actually some of my favorite pokemons! As for why I did a spoiler, I don't really have a reason. I'm not exactly the best writer, and I have a tendency to write minor spoilers into them, I simply couldn't stop myself.
I'll be doing my best to keep the intrigue in the story, and you won't have to worry about me spoiling the rest of the team. They'll be hidden til they are ready *evil laugh*
Of course, the team chosen by your character is interesting, but he has already made sure on a number of failures that the world he has chosen does not revolve around him in a number of failures...will there be a possibility that your character will get a Pokemon in the team that he did not originally plan as a luck factor?) The second question about the Pokeballs themselves: perhaps it doesn't matter in the fairy-tale version of the original Pokemon, but your world has already shown that it is realistic and from my point of view, holding a Pokemon for a long time in this device is equivalent to a cage. Yes, this device will protect Pokemon from theft from the owner if it was not stolen itself and theoretically if the Pokemon is wounded in it, it is kept in a state of hibernation (given the presence of pokemon clinics, Pokebol at least cannot heal them), however, even if you imagine that a futuristic virtual world with a convenient ecosystem for Pokemon is generated in Pokebol, it will actually be lonely Pokemon in a golden cage and they are intelligent enough to understand the artificiality of this. Plus, in the anime world, in the case of Pikachu and Ashes, it is proven that the coach can walk with Pokemon almost 100% of the time. Of course, if you think that it is difficult to keep Pokemon plot-wise next to your character and it is better to put them in pokeballs, I will not condemn, but I still expressed my time. And the third question is how deep will you dive into realism in terms of the dark part? In this world, even in the original, there are criminal organizations. You have at least introduced animals into the plot that hunt and eat Pokemon, it is obvious that some Pokemon are predators in appearance and can eat other Pokemon, animals, and even people. And it's not for me to tell you about human cruelty: theft and smuggling of Pokemon, deadly fights in underground arenas, eating Pokemon themselves and even actually brothels with Pokemon. I'm not a fan of dark scenes, but sometimes they allow you to expand the plot possibilities for romantic relationships and introduce your character to girls in danger...plus, he will have a real opportunity to use his skills against scum.
There will be indeed a factor like that, good eye my friend! There are over 10 pokemon that would fit his team, and fit the story. I actually have been rolling behind the scenes to see what order he would find them in and which ones he would find.
Pokeballs are hard to explain. I wouldn't call the more modern ones a cage, and certainly not the luxury ball or the other balls that improve friendship. My headcanon is that pokeballs are comfortable to be in, albeit not nearly as comfortable as being outside and walking around with their trainer.
I don't have any plans to focus on the dark sides of the Pokemon world, but all of those dark sides you mentioned are there in the world. If I think going into a darker part of the universe will help the arc of the story, I will use it. It would be quite funny to see him beating the shit out of team rocket with nothing more than a rapier and gauntlet.
Then again, the pokemon world has shown that guns exist. I wouldn't put it past Anduin to go out and get one, or try and make his own.
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