Comment on The Bond Between Us

  1. Anon (Guest) on Chapter 1 Tue 12 Jul 2022 10:04AM UTC

    Hi!

    I'm definitely enjoying the story so far-- looking forward to the rest that you've published.

    Just a bit of concrit:

    I'm a bit of a formatting snob-- you're properly disambiguating between each character speaking with a new paragraph, which is awesome, but adding an additional null space would be ideal as a mobile user. For example:

    This: “All slaves have transmitters place inside their bodies somewhere,” Shmi explained.
    “I’ve been working on a scanner to try and locate them,” Anakin told them, “but no luck.”
    “Any attempt to escape—“
    “And they blow you up! Poof!”

    vs

    This:

    “All slaves have transmitters place inside their bodies somewhere,” Shmi explained.

    “I’ve been working on a scanner to try and locate them,” Anakin told them, “but no luck.”

    “Any attempt to escape—“

    “And they blow you up! Poof!”

    It's both a little kinder and aesthetically pleasing to the eyes.

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    1. just_dreaming_marvel on Chapter 1 Tue 12 Jul 2022 03:23PM UTC

      My stories format nicely like this on the other sites I post on (mainly because the tab button works). I’m sorry, but I’m not going to change or edit just for this site. I’ve had no complaints about formatting with my many other works.

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