Comment on I didn't know I was sparked!

  1. CnotK on Chapter 1 Mon 09 Jan 2023 12:39PM UTC

    We start off strong with… Swerve and his low self-esteem. Always makes me teary. That’s how I know that this fic is going to be good.

    I mean, you write Swerve well. He’s always the guy who just seems to always be happy and have a grin on his face, but you do well in conveying some of that inner turmoil he has and trying to make sure that everyone enjoys themselves, and his determination and his ‘just grin and bare it!’ mentality, just… you portray all of those things about Swerve really well!

    “Tonight was going to be one to remember”
    Me, someone who knows where this is going: oh boy is it!

    It was also nice to see that Swerve wasn’t entirely naive and could be critical of the racing industry, and that his view of the industry and all the corporate nonsense wasn’t influenced by his opinion (or rather former opinion) of Burr. Speaking of which! That was also really nicely added in. How you compared how Swerve would have normally reacted to how he now reacts, and you lay out the seeds for a bit of mystery. Like yeah, I can see that something happened, but you’re withholding the juicy details which I feel worked really well here? I mean, I’ve got so many questions that I want answers to! What exactly did Swerve do that made him think he was a fool of himself? Why was Blurr aggravated? I have so many questions! You’ve made me come back to this fic a couple times just to reread this bit and think about the possibilities.

    I enjoyed reading about Chromedome and Rewind just being relationship goals for Swerve. Even though they have their own issues, CDRW is honestly a cute ship and Swerve has good taste for recognising that, though his longing to have a relationship where each mech depends on and supports each other definitely made me feel for him. Just give the poor guy some romance!

    Continuing on with Swerve and CDRW, I really like the way you wrote the conversation the three of them had about the drinks. Even though a good chunk of the dialogue didn’t have any dialogue tags, I could still tell which character was speaking, and in my opinion that means these characters are really well written! (And then the bit with Rewind trying to set Swerve up with Eject? Made me giggle and go aww).

    And then… the childbirth. How embarrassing, a situation like this must just be his worst nightmare just because it is such an attention grabbing thing that people just aren’t going to forget about it. And because of that, I really do feel bad for him in this bit. I do think it might have been good to have included childbirth in the tags of this fic, because although I didn’t mind it (and I kinda saw it coming) I think some readers would prefer to have a head’s up. But honestly, that’s my only criticism. The whole thing was written well, I like the emphasis you put on Swerve’s distress which 100% makes sense with it being in public, being unexpected, and then knowing who the other parent is. Just a whole mess for the poor guy. I feel bad for him.

     

    I like how the chapter ends in an opposite way to how it began. What I mean is, Swerve spends so much of the beginning desperate to keep the bar running, that the bar needs him, only for the end to have him go “nope. Peace out bar, you can sort yourself.” But at the same time you bookend it well with the noting of how important the night is, with it changing as to who specifically the importance relates to. Nicely done!

     

    I know I’ve read this fic a few times, though regretfully I haven’t commented on it until now. I think the initial reason for finding this was through the cyclonus/tailgate/whirl tag? And then later again through the blurr/swerve tag. My interest has been piqued each time I’ve seen this fic, and each time I’ve read it, it has always been really enjoyable.

    I see the Swerve/Blurr tag, and I’m really interested to know how the fic would have played out in regards to that and what kind of interactions would have arisen as a consequence of this chapter, but this chapter was still a great read. I can tell that it was definitely cracky in the beginning, but it was definitely fun to read. Surprise babies used as a comedic device are always my jam.

    I don’t know if you plan to continue it or anything, but I know I would be interested to see it continued if you so chose. All in all, it was a nicely written fic and I enjoyed it!

    <3

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    1. Uncanny_Bee on Chapter 1 Thu 12 Jan 2023 01:38AM UTC

      Holy shit the response- I feel way flattered you took the time to write this. Tbh, I had no idea that anyone would like my silly idea so much. When I originally wrote this, I only had a vague idea where I wanted this fic to go. I'm happy to say that I've finally made up my mind and have begun the process of writing the second chapter. I've already revised this chapter as well to help flow with this new direction. Expect some minor changes! Thank you for your kind words! It was the kick I needed to continue this story.

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