Comment on Heavenly surprise

  1. Thatauthoryouhate on Chapter 2 Sun 12 May 2024 09:09AM UTC

    ROTK8 Lu Bu

    " sometimes even orgies." - All good so far, really setting the scene, but boy, am I reminded I need to write an orgy scene at least once...

    "What? No...im gonna teach you about sex" - Lol, never change, Modeus.

    "French kiss? What is that modeus?" - I'm reminded of a Mitchell and Webb sketch, haha. That's probably too British to cross-over, but it's in my head now!

    "146 years...why?" - Azazel, the secret master of No Nut November, haha.

    The blowjob scene was good. I'm a fan of excessive cum, I guess! I will say, not all that big on writing out sound effects, but that's probably a personal thing.

    "Its all wet and warmed up all for you and you alone..." - I'm surprised Modeus didn't go for the guilt-trip argument of 'You finished, now I should' but she's certainly acting on a more primal level...

    "And what a job she did, shes basically covered in white" - I-is Justice just guessing, or can she sense how much cum has been spilled?

    "Azazel is a dude?" - Gender means nothing to 'taker. He sees cute, he pursues cute. Suppose Az' is lucky he was so occupied by Demons! Haha.

    Good job. I think there's room for some refinement during the intimate scenes on a technical level, but it's definitely not bad! The actual content and idea behind the acts is solid as can be.

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    1. Faaram2001 on Chapter 2 Sun 12 May 2024 10:33AM UTC

      -All is me, sending you subliminal messages to make a godamn orgy scene author. YOURE BARELY SCRATCHING YOUR POTENTIAL MAN

      -she never will

      -a few thousend years more and he probably would have become the most powerful wizard ever
      -thanks im glad it came out quite well...guess im good at doing blowjobs (wait...)
      -i mean thats more like manipulating and here modeus is trying to tempt him....
      -you know...i forgot about that...so for the sake of consistency lets just say yes.
      -i mean the idea is that he said that because he was genuily shock and flabbergasted at the revelation. He would still tap that but hes shock at the revelation.
      -care to elaborate? Yesterday it was late at night and i was so tired that i just wanted to finish and be done with it...so thats why it came out a little bit like this.

      -I was surprise to see you here since usually you take your time with long chapters but yeah.
      -next one is going to be a short chapter of azazel and modeus banging like buenísimo throught the whole week and thw whole house
      -also today, demon taker gets updated...and im beginning to work in fromsoftware waifus while at it.

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