Comment on Rebellion

  1. Paulinaelina (Guest) on Chapter 6 Fri 07 Oct 2016 07:19AM UTC

    When I look at this chapter, it is already very clear from the text whose POV it is! I don't think it would be confusing if you just drop the names from the middle :) The thing is that the flow of the text is cut all the time and the effect is quite jarring. Perhaps you were over doing it when consciously trying to make it clear whose POV it is... ;)

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