Overall, I like it so far. Good work. Though, I suggest you need to work on your descriptions more. Like, take this excerpt for example:
"Stepping into his council room, Zuko takes a deep breath and orders the guards outside the doors to open them.
Faintly, he feels sweat gather at the base of his neck but steadily ignores it as he approaches the throne overlooking the council. The High Generals stand as he walks, making eye contact with some of the members; immediately, he wants to yell and force some of the old pigs to retire.
War Minister Qin gives a look that seems only a step away from open opportunistic curiosity.
General Bujing sneers openly at the young king.
General Shinu solemnly eyes him, his face not revealing any true feelings."
What does the room they are in look like? What materials are the floor, walls, and ceiling made of? What about artwork? And what do the characters look like? Obviously, except for clothing, you don't need to describe canon characters from the show, as we already what they look like. But for OCs, we don't know what they look like, what cloths they wear, how they keep their hair, etc. Not everyone reading your fic is going to be able to fill in the blanks with their imagination, it might not even be most people. So, giving detailed descriptions would be helpful for your readers, particularly for those that have trouble visualizing what they're reading. However, this doesn't have to equally apply to all of your OCs, it can vary depending on their importance to the plot, like you don't really need to describe anything if they're just a background character or a character that only appears once in your fic, but if they're a re-occurring side-character, even a minor one, then you need to at least give a little more detailed description. The more important a characters is to the plot, the more detailed their description needs to be.
Also, why did Zuko make up a new position for Katara instead of making her his Fire Lady? Will that be explained in a future chapter?
Firstly, thank you so much! I’m excited to write and share this idea! I agree with the suggestion, it’s been a while since I’ve written creatively and this is my way to get my foot back in the door.
I see where you’re going with the excerpt, I’ll definitely go back and edit to clarify the descriptions that were left unsaid.
As for the new position, yes it will be expounded in more depth in the next few chapters! Thank you so much for reading and commenting (*^_^*)
Comment on The Heart of The Matter
Thursedov on Chapter 2 Sat 01 Feb 2025 03:57AM UTC
Last Edited Sat 01 Feb 2025 04:02AM UTC
Comment Actions
Zi_Xi_Zy on Chapter 2 Sat 01 Feb 2025 01:59PM UTC
Comment Actions
Thursedov on Chapter 2 Sat 01 Feb 2025 02:29PM UTC
Comment Actions