Comment on coming undone (one step at a time)

  1. Barnowlbookworm on Chapter 1 Wed 02 Apr 2025 05:25PM UTC

    You write everyone in character rly well!!
    Poor Donnie :(

    ‘ “Annoy me, Tello, for the love of God. You’ve been all freaky lately. What’s wrong with you?”’ - no fr tho
    Boy needs to sleep and get some help-

    ‘The Donnie of now, undeniably the most efficient version of himself, was proud of his own decision-making.’ - you dum dum 😭😭😭
    You’re overwhelmed with grief and change and pain and you need. Help. And rest. Sob.

    ‘it’d been three days holed up in his lab, without food, without his brothers. ‘ - WH- okay but HOW in the heck have they not done something abt it-

    ‘“This wouldn’t be a problem if Raph just Kool-Aid Man’d the door!”’ - oh good someone DOES want to do something.
    But uh
    Leo why don’t you like- idk- portal in there ?

    ‘“Donnie,” Raph said, so soft. “Talk to us. Please.”’ - YES. PLEASE.

    ‘“I—” Donnie clutched his hoodie, feeling the desperate heaving of his chest, the pounding of his heart against his ribs. “I’m sorry.”’ - oh yep I’m crying

    ‘“Shuh—shh— S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N—” he gasped through his whines and keens. “The lab door, lock the lab door, lock the—”
    S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N was dead.’ - HFKSHJFHDJFHSJHD 😭😭😭😭😭😭 HIS CHILD

    ‘The idea didn’t upset him as much as it probably should have. Leo was very punchable.’ - wheeze real

    ‘But, ah, the projector is… having a few issues, yes. Right, that. May you come and fix it?”’ - smart, using his urges to fix whatever needs fixing and people pleasing against him-

    ‘“Fine,” he snarled. “Oh yeah, I was fine before?! Like you even know me! You don’t even know what me being ‘fine’ looks like, Leo, so don’t start!”’
    - oh C R A P THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GO DOWN

    ‘“I’m sorry I asked for too much,” Donnie sobbed, a broken little whisper. A tiny, pained admission of guilt.’ - oh- oh I- I am crying. That- that was-

    Man imma cry

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