Also!!!
Something I wanted to share with you!!! Because, you are literally the only person I am sharing the idea with so far. Chuuya and Dazai's tragic fic (with Chuuya being a rock star, Dazai being a famous actor, and them being in a domestically violent relationship).
So...
One of the ORIGINAL ideas I'd had-if you remember-was Dazai assaulting Chuuya and breaking his nose, then paying for the plastic surgeon as an 'oops, my bad. I can fix this' move.
But then...
Last night as I began to drift to sleep. Another-BETTER idea came to me!!! And I genuinely want your opinion on it.
So...
Chuuya walks in on Dazai cheating on him with a woman (you already know this part). Chuuya falls apart, gets drunk, butchers his hair, etc. Dazai is Dazai and fixes Chuuya's hair for him. The two make up that same night (Dazai is a smooth talker, seducer) and move past this.
New idea.
Chuuya catches him constantly cheating (AGAIN). They have a fight and Chuuya throws an empty liquor bottle in Dazai's direction (drawing blood). The cops are called, and the police officer asks DAZAI if he wants to press assault charges on CHUUYA. Dazai laughs and smiles, and tells the officer that-whatEVER Chuuya has done to him, he deserved it. No charges are pressed and Chuuya closes the door. Chuuya is ABOUT to apologize for his behavior (as Dazai spared him from being charged with assault and sent to jail). But in a flash Dazai has his hand around Chuuya's jaw/throat, his body pressed to the wall, and BASICALLY threatens him to never do this again.
SOME time passes, and Chuuya is invited out to lunch with his sister Kouyou, who tells him that her boyfriend, Paul (who Chuuya actually adores as an older brother) proposed to her. The two of them get into a slight tiff about Kouyou inviting their estranged father to the wedding to give her away. Chuuya's not happy (he holds a grudge against his father for leaving their mother). In this same lunch conversation, it's obvious that Kouyou is worried about Chuuya (who is struggling with his relationship to Dazai). Chuuya may or may not ask his big sister how romance progressed between her and Paul ("when did the two of you say that you love each other, when did you know?"). And through this, he comes to the conclusion that he and Dazai have moved 'too fast' in their '''relationship'''
Chuuya asks Dazai to talk. Chuuya tells Dazai that he wants to go on a bit of a break (NOT breaking up, JUST some space, a break, and a breather). On the surface, Dazai seems almost TOO calm and accepting of this (almost cold). Chuuya dismisses himself, and starts to leave (the hotel they both met up at). As Chuuya turns and leaves, he feels something hit his lower back SO hard it sends him down the REALLY long flight of stairs. He falls unconscious and is sent to the hospital for his injuries.
(Chuuya COULD have easily died...)
Turns out...?
Dazai KICKED him down that flight of stairs.
(Edit!!!)
This plays into the fact that I really DO believe Chuuya to be more physically fit and athletic than Dazai. So the only logical way for Dazai to get the upper hand and REALLY physically hurt Chuuya would be to have it be a complete surprise. Something Chuuya really isn't at all prepared for. Like... At all.
SOBS when i wrote the reply ao3 went DOWN and so did my reply... rip reply....
//Something I wanted to share with you!!! Because, you are literally the only person I am sharing the idea with so far. Chuuya and Dazai's tragic fic (with Chuuya being a rock star, Dazai being a famous actor, and them being in a domestically violent relationship).// SQUEALS!!!! ONE OF MY FAVOURITE AUS OF YOURS!!!!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! chuuya being a rockstar is like so him i ADORE it im like lowkey now realising an unhealthy duo i started playing around with (dazai and another bsd character) was lowkey inspired by this story of yours LMAO i never realised it before... youre awesome you subconciously influence because your ideas are awesome!!!!
//One of the ORIGINAL ideas I'd had-if you remember-was Dazai assaulting Chuuya and breaking his nose, then paying for the plastic surgeon as an 'oops, my bad. I can fix this' move.// YES!!! as in. yes as in yes i reememmber im not cheering this poor chuuya LMAOOOOOOO
//Chuuya walks in on Dazai cheating on him with a woman (you already know this part). Chuuya falls apart, gets drunk, butchers his hair, etc. Dazai is Dazai and fixes Chuuya's hair for him. The two make up that same night (Dazai is a smooth talker, seducer) and move past this.// I vote for dazai dying (joke)
//Chuuya catches him constantly cheating (AGAIN).// i hope he dies x2 (joke. half joke.) LMAOOOOO
//They have a fight and Chuuya throws an empty liquor bottle in Dazai's direction (drawing blood). The cops are called, and the police officer asks DAZAI if he wants to press assault charges on CHUUYA// STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP CHUUYA YOU WERE SO VALID!!!!!! POLICE WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!
//Dazai laughs and smiles, and tells the officer that-whatEVER Chuuya has done to him, he deserved it. No charges are pressed and Chuuya closes the door.// oh my gosh i got CHILLLLSSS!!!!!!!!!!! the SMILE!! the LAUGH!!!! SHIVERS!!!! manipulative bastard............ that i love...........
//Chuuya is ABOUT to apologize for his behavior (as Dazai spared him from being charged with assault and sent to jail). But in a flash Dazai has his hand around Chuuya's jaw/throat, his body pressed to the wall, and BASICALLY threatens him to never do this again.// OH MY GOSH AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! this is SO TOXIC POOR CHUUYA AHAHAHA it really goes well with how you're portraying dazai-- wants control i presume yet also goes with what he wants if that makes sense.... and chuuya is the unfortunate victim of these changing actions, (although fake, hes still able to put on a smile for the officers) and even invoking violence from chuuya (chuuya.. hold on.. you can do this..)
SIDE NOTE... IT'S A BIT FUNNY THAT I LOVE DAZAI but in recent times my friends have been really really hating on dazai (because theyre chuuya likers) AND SOME OF IT IS RUBBING OFF ON ME BAHAHAHA
//SOME time passes, and Chuuya is invited out to lunch with his sister Kouyou, who tells him that her boyfriend, Paul (who Chuuya actually adores as an older brother) proposed to her.// AHHHH OH MGYOSH OH MYGOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVEEEE THESE FAMILLIAL TIESSS!!!!!!! KOYOU AS A SISTER AND PAUL AS A BROTHER IN LAW?!?!?!?!?! THATS SO CUUUUTEEEEEEE I LOVE THAT!!!!!!!!!! It saves me from the hurt of storrmbringer BASDHASDASD oh omg I GENUINELY LOVE THESE TIES...... LMAO...... eats it to store for later........
//The two of them get into a slight tiff about Kouyou inviting their estranged father to the wedding to give her away. Chuuya's not happy (he holds a grudge against his father for leaving their mother)// I LOVE THIS DETAIL AHH!!!! it gives a depth to his backstory and his potential parental issues..... which could've influenced his relationship....... (Just assuming these.. JASLDKASDAS) koyou dont invite your father invite. invite. Um. Fukuzawa! heh
//Chuuya may or may not ask his big sister how romance progressed between her and Paul ("when did the two of you say that you love each other, when did you know?"). And through this, he comes to the conclusion that he and Dazai have moved 'too fast' in their '''relationship'''// TJHIS HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURTS AND IT'S SO AJRFLKASFJASF okay i wanna ask DO YOU THINK he'd have already had this conclusion deep down in his mind but he just hadn't acknowldged it at this point............ good for you chuuya... now run away in the middle of the night ! SHDLKASHDAS
//Chuuya asks Dazai to talk. // FIRST MISTAKE NEVER ASK THE ABUSER TO TALK LMAO
// Chuuya tells Dazai that he wants to go on a bit of a break (NOT breaking up, JUST some space, a break, and a breather). On the surface, Dazai seems almost TOO calm and accepting of this (almost cold).// SHIVERING ASDHASLDHAS I CAN FEEEEEEEEEEL THE AIIIIRIRRRR DAZAI BEING CALM ISNT HIM BEING CALM-- because hes almost calm all the time, so his emotions are a moreso sign of. of. him. I MAKE NO SENSE IM SORRY BUT WHAT IM GETTING AT IS THIS DAZAI BEING PURPOSEFULLY ACCEPTING IS A RED FLAG AND I LOVE THAT YOU MENTIONED IT
// Chuuya dismisses himself, and starts to leave (the hotel they both met up at).// No...........
//As Chuuya turns and leaves, he feels something hit his lower back SO hard it sends him down the REALLY long flight of stairs. He falls unconscious and is sent to the hospital for his injuries. (Chuuya COULD have easily died...)// NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP CHUUUYAAA!!!!!! DAZAI TOOK THE RISK OF HIM DYING BY KICKING HIM DOWN HELLOOOOOO did dazai know it was very possible he was gonna die WOULD HE CARE...... i genuinely really wanna know about their actual feelings about eachotehr i think i'll go re read the older stuff you sent... like iim curious is this based on care at any stage or is it just like. stuckness. IF THAT MAKES SENSE wow I sUCK at explaining Sorry my ability to write is only functional when writing akutagawa angst
//This plays into the fact that I really DO believe Chuuya to be more physically fit and athletic than Dazai. So the only logical way for Dazai to get the upper hand and REALLY physically hurt Chuuya would be to have it be a complete surprise. Something Chuuya really isn't at all prepared for. Like... At all.// ME TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK THAT TOOO!!!!!!!!! I ALWAYS MAKE IT A POINT WHENEVER IM TALKING OR THINKING ABOUT CHUUYA AND DAZAI TO MENTION THAT CHUUYA IS PHYSICALLY STRONGER arhasklhfdsklfsdg I AGREEE!!! and its SUCh an underhanded move and SUCH dazai
CHILLS I LOVE this au I'm I'm getting like major flashbacks to the dazai & the other bsd character (im being so vague it's not even someone hard to guess LMAOO) i've been fixated on thank you for being an unintetional inspiration......... i loved reading this thank you so much for sharing this with me! i feel like dazai's personality in this AND chuuya's response is so well-tied to canon like i could totally see this happening if their lives took a different route.... HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!
ALSO DID YOU SEEEEE THE NEW BSD OFFICIAL ARTS????????/ ESP THE DAZAI AND CHUUYA ONES?????? https://www.pinterest.com/pin/115756652917431756/ https://www.pinterest.com/pin/918523286542482747/ I died after seeing akutagawa's by the way my soul left my body and i fell into a coma < 3 https://www.pinterest.com/pin/20758848277518754/ SOBSSSSS ranpo's was SOSOSO CUTEEEEE everyday i have to defend myself (i dont) from my persona being a ranpo clone ASDASHDASKJD (i drew her before i watched bsd)
(SQUEALS!!!! ONE OF MY FAVOURITE AUS OF YOURS!!!!!! I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! chuuya being a rockstar is like so him i ADORE it)-> Hahahah! Awee!!! *happy tears* It makes me so incredibly happy that you're STILL excited over this. And that it's one of your favorite AU's that I've made, and it's not even out, yet! xDDD Makes me smile!
(im like lowkey now realising an unhealthy duo i started playing around with (dazai and another bsd character) was lowkey inspired by this story of yours LMAO i never realised it before... youre awesome you subconciously influence because your ideas are awesome!!!!)-> *blushes BRIGHT red and tries to hide from your compliments* But this... This makes me SO curious! If you want to share, I would LOVE more details! Seriously! But I also get if you want to keep this possible project on the down-low. xD So, know that I am excited! But there is also no pressure!!!!
(YES!!! as in. yes as in yes i reememmber im not cheering this poor chuuya LMAOOOOOOO)-> I totally understood, but the clarification made me laugh out loud! Thank you for that!!!
(I vote for dazai dying (joke))->
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/183240278582718525/
Dazai ALSO votes for Dazai dying
(i hope he dies x2 (joke. half joke.) LMAOOOOO)->
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/61080138757072469/
He thinks you're a wonderful human being.... xDDD
(STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
CHUUYA YOU WERE SO VALID!!!!!! POLICE WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!)-> Yep! The police were called because Chuuya was being very, VERY vocal about expressing his displeasure with Dazai, and one of the people nearby (next door) called it in.
And yes... Chuuya was very valid in his anger response. Valid, and just a bit drunk... xDDDD
(oh my gosh i got CHILLLLSSS!!!!!!!!!!! the SMILE!! the LAUGH!!!! SHIVERS!!!! manipulative bastard............ that i love...........)-> Hahahaha! I totally GET that 'I hate him, but I love him!' feeling! SO valid for Dazai. You can't be neutral with him. It is a love/hate relationship. And I am SO glad that this concept/scene idea gave you chills! That's the exact effect I'm going for with Dazai's '''act''' with the police officer!!!!
(OH MY GOSH AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! this is SO TOXIC POOR CHUUYA AHAHAHA)-> Yeah. It's EXTREMELY toxic. And even though it doesn't happen in this specific moment (like, Dazai doesn't actually HIT him), the message is loud and clear. The physical threat is very VERY real, and leaves Chuuya stunned and shaken.
(it really goes well with how you're portraying dazai-- wants control i presume yet also goes with what he wants if that makes sense....)-> That DOES make sense!!!! And the more I'm fleshing out Dazai's character, the more he's starting to feel like he could quite possibly have a BPD (borderline personality disorder) diagnosis. (in this story, at least) he hits almost ALL of the checkmarks on the symptoms list. It's sort of scary, considering I didn't really intend for that. xDDD
(and chuuya is the unfortunate victim of these changing actions, (although fake, hes still able to put on a smile for the officers) and even invoking violence from chuuya (chuuya.. hold on.. you can do this..))-> THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! And I love how you point out 'fake' Dazai's act is with the police officer (scary). And how it was him that actually elicited violence from Chuuya. I mean... At surface level (and out of context) in that moment, Chuuya absolutely looks like the abuser. But Chuuya is definitely provoked. No doubt about it. And it's kind of funny (not funny) how Dazai might not necessarily even be aiming to get that reaction from Chuuya. But he is certainly indifferent to Chuuya's pain over his cheating.
(AHHHH
OH MGYOSH OH MYGOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVEEEE THESE FAMILLIAL TIESSS!!!!!!! KOYOU AS A SISTER AND PAUL AS A BROTHER IN LAW?!?!?!?!?! THATS SO CUUUUTEEEEEEE I LOVE THAT!!!!!!!!!! It saves me from the hurt of storrmbringer BASDHASDASD
oh omg I GENUINELY LOVE THESE TIES...... LMAO...... eats it to store for later........)-> So glad you like the familial ties in this story! I imagine-even while famous-that Chuuya is relatively family oriented. I find him to be a man who holds these type of bonds (family and friends) and connections in high value. These connections mean something to him.
(I LOVE THIS DETAIL AHH!!!! it gives a depth to his backstory and his potential parental issues..... which could've influenced his relationship....... (Just assuming these.. JASLDKASDAS))-> Thank you!!!! I'm glad you like this!!! And yes... You are absolutely right. His dad walking out on them had a huge impact on his adolescence, and most definitely is influencing his relationship, for sure. In fact, I've already given detail to this moment in earlier segments detailing Chuuya's start. And from the time their dad left, to now in the story, it's been 10 years (15 to 25). So, Kouyou means well, but can't understand why Chuuya just can't seem to let it go.
(koyou dont invite your father invite. invite. Um. Fukuzawa! heh)-> Awe! Cute! SO glad you didn't say Mori! xDDDDDDD
(TJHIS HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURTS AND IT'S SO AJRFLKASFJASF okay i wanna ask DO YOU THINK he'd have already had this conclusion deep down in his mind but he just hadn't acknowldged it at this point............)-> He loves his big sister and truly does value her insight. And-at this point-Chuuya has '''been with''' Dazai for some time, yet he is already unintentionally distancing/isolating himself from his band AND Kouyou. He hasn't told anyone, really, that he's been seeing Dazai. And also-at t his point-he's losing more and more control over things like his drinking. In fact-at this luncheon-Chuuya orders himself a glass of hard liquor, which he NEVER would have done before. He also does this with the mentality 'Welp...I'm planning on seeing Dazai later... Might as well prep myself now...' As for your question? Yes. This idea/feeling that things have been moving too fast have ALWAYS been gnawing at the back of his mind since the very beginning. But the more time he spends in Dazai's presence, the more confused he's feeling about literally everything.
(good for you chuuya... now run away in the middle of the night ! SHDLKASHDAS)-> xDDDD
(FIRST MISTAKE NEVER ASK THE ABUSER TO TALK LMAO0-> True, true....
(SHIVERING
ASDHASLDHAS
I CAN FEEEEEEEEEEL THE AIIIIRIRRRR)-> Yes... xD
(DAZAI BEING CALM ISNT HIM BEING CALM-- because hes almost calm all the time, so his emotions are a moreso sign of. of. him. I MAKE NO SENSE IM SORRY BUT WHAT IM GETTING AT IS THIS DAZAI BEING PURPOSEFULLY ACCEPTING IS A RED FLAG AND I LOVE THAT YOU MENTIONED IT)-> I totally get what you are saying! The calm acceptance of the break is absolutely a red flag. And you're right. Dazai being calm is an absolute front. One Chuuya isn't really reading properly!
(No...........)-> But, then. Yes.
(NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
CHUUUYAAA!!!!!!
DAZAI TOOK THE RISK OF HIM DYING BY KICKING HIM DOWN HELLOOOOOO)-> Yes. Yes, he did. And he was calm as a cucumber when he did it, too!
(did dazai know it was very possible he was gonna die WOULD HE CARE......)-> Yes. Logically he knew that could be an outcome. Was he TRYING to murder him? No. Is he trying to get him NOT to leave? Yes. Trying to scare the crap out of him? Also, yes.
(i genuinely really wanna know about their actual feelings about eachotehr i think i'll go re read the older stuff you sent... like iim curious is this based on care at any stage or is it just like. stuckness. IF THAT MAKES SENSE wow I sUCK at explaining Sorry my ability to write is only functional when writing akutagawa angst)-> Hahahaha! Yes! I think I am understanding! And I will try my best to sum up their feelings for each other.
Chuuya: His feelings for Dazai start with disgust/dislike that lead him to being quite infatuated with Dazai. Dazai keeps him in a constant state of arousal and confusion. And-yes-at some point Chuuya DOES catch genuine feelings for Dazai (but, you HAVE to take into account how confused he is).
Dazai: He is deeply and intensely physically attracted to Chuuya. That is real. But Dazai doesn't know WHAT love is. Everything towards Chuuya is driven by pure, horrifying, unadulterated obsession.
(ME TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK THAT TOOO!!!!!!!!! I ALWAYS MAKE IT A POINT WHENEVER IM TALKING OR THINKING ABOUT CHUUYA AND DAZAI TO MENTION THAT CHUUYA IS PHYSICALLY STRONGER arhasklhfdsklfsdg I AGREEE!!! and its SUCh an underhanded move and SUCH dazai)-> That is so neat! And really, it is quite canon, no? That Chuuya is physically stronger than Dazai, even without his ability? So, it fits! And I'm glad you feel that way! That it also matches Dazai's underhanded scheming!
(CHILLS
I LOVE this au I'm I'm getting like major flashbacks to the dazai & the other bsd character (im being so vague it's not even someone hard to guess LMAOO) i've been fixated on thank you for being an unintetional inspiration.........)-> Agan! If you care to share, I am extremely eager, and all ears!
(i loved reading this thank you so much for sharing this with me! i feel like dazai's personality in this AND chuuya's response is so well-tied to canon like i could totally see this happening if their lives took a different route....
HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!)-> AWE THANK YOU! That truly means so very much to me!!!! *tears*
.....sorry for disappearing (╥﹏╥).... have this dazai art i drew as apology https://i.pinimg.com/736x/a2/82/33/a28233fd9cbfa9b3d93fb41494655016.jpg ! it will appear inside a fic at some point. ( ╥ ᴗ ╥)
//Hahahah! Awee!!! *happy tears* It makes me so incredibly happy that you're STILL excited over this. And that it's one of your favorite AU's that I've made, and it's not even out, yet! xDDD Makes me smile!// HEHE anything you make will always be nomnomnommed by me!
// *blushes BRIGHT red and tries to hide from your compliments* But this... This makes me SO curious! If you want to share, I would LOVE more details! Seriously! But I also get if you want to keep this possible project on the down-low. xD So, know that I am excited! But there is also no pressure!!!!// giggles HEHEHEEHE
//Dazai ALSO votes for Dazai dying// NOOOOOO STOPPPPP I LAUGHED AHSDAHAHH DAZAI NOOOOOO This reminds me of an original character my friend has (the one who is literally dazai, but who i knew about before i watched bsd hence is the REASON i like dazai) and he'd SO say this as well, there's a running gag where his wife (my character) tells him to go to hell and she has to yank the knife away from his hands LMAOOOO
//He thinks you're a wonderful human being.... xDDD// NOOOOOOOOO HE'S SUPPOSED TO KEEL OVER AND PAINFULLY DIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!! NOT WANT IT..!!!
// Yep! The police were called because Chuuya was being very, VERY vocal about expressing his displeasure with Dazai, and one of the people nearby (next door) called it in. And yes... Chuuya was very valid in his anger response. Valid, and just a bit drunk... xDDDD// It's okay chuuya.. i support you... even if you're super drunk you have my okay to stab dazai fr LMAOOOOOOOOOOO i can just imagine what things chuuya was saying.. definitely diabolical
// Hahahaha! I totally GET that 'I hate him, but I love him!' feeling! SO valid for Dazai. You can't be neutral with him. It is a love/hate relationship. And I am SO glad that this concept/scene idea gave you chills! That's the exact effect I'm going for with Dazai's '''act''' with the police officer!!!!// RIIIIIIIGHT IT'S SO HARD TO COMPLETELY FEEL ONE WAY ABOUT DAZAI BAHDASH in every au he makes me feel differently, either i wanna chuck him to the wall or hug him or both (or run away)
// Yeah. It's EXTREMELY toxic. And even though it doesn't happen in this specific moment (like, Dazai doesn't actually HIT him), the message is loud and clear. The physical threat is very VERY real, and leaves Chuuya stunned and shaken.// https://www.pinterest.com/pin/480477854016684156/ me to this information ... i found more https://www.pinterest.com/pin/351562314682233506/ https://www.pinterest.com/pin/311803974221076001/
//That DOES make sense!!!! And the more I'm fleshing out Dazai's character, the more he's starting to feel like he could quite possibly have a BPD (borderline personality disorder) diagnosis. (in this story, at least) he hits almost ALL of the checkmarks on the symptoms list. It's sort of scary, considering I didn't really intend for that. xDDD// YES YES YES I AGREE SO MUCH LMAOOOOOO omg i actually never thought of this before but you're so right?? i always think of him with ASPD and BPD FITS SO WELL ESPECIALLY IN STUFF LIKE THIS.... notes down.......
//THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! And I love how you point out 'fake' Dazai's act is with the police officer (scary). And how it was him that actually elicited violence from Chuuya. I mean... At surface level (and out of context) in that moment, Chuuya absolutely looks like the abuser. But Chuuya is definitely provoked. No doubt about it. And it's kind of funny (not funny) how Dazai might not necessarily even be aiming to get that reaction from Chuuya. But he is certainly indifferent to Chuuya's pain over his cheating.// https://www.pinterest.com/pin/311803974221076001/ me rn AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! this is so scary i love the psychology behind it so much... dazai just.... being a sort of loose canon.. He does things... and you never know why.. Maybe even he doesn't sometimes LMAO
//> So glad you like the familial ties in this story! I imagine-even while famous-that Chuuya is relatively family oriented. I find him to be a man who holds these type of bonds (family and friends) and connections in high value. These connections mean something to him.// UGLY CRYING RN SOBSSSSSSSS CHUUUUYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA that's SO SO SWEET UWAAAAAAAAAH the fluff smushed in between the angst... sobs cries
//Thank you!!!! I'm glad you like this!!! And yes... You are absolutely right. His dad walking out on them had a huge impact on his adolescence, and most definitely is influencing his relationship, for sure. In fact, I've already given detail to this moment in earlier segments detailing Chuuya's start. And from the time their dad left, to now in the story, it's been 10 years (15 to 25). So, Kouyou means well, but can't understand why Chuuya just can't seem to let it go.// OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! OUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!!!!! sigh... It's okay chuuya you're so valid (biased) i understand kouyou too though AAAH I LVOE IT it's so multifaceted
//Awe! Cute! SO glad you didn't say Mori! xDDDDDDD// LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO NEVER
// He loves his big sister and truly does value her insight. And-at this point-Chuuya has '''been with''' Dazai for some time, yet he is already unintentionally distancing/isolating himself from his band AND Kouyou. He hasn't told anyone, really, that he's been seeing Dazai. And also, at his point-he's losing more and more control over things like his drinking.// OUCH OUCH OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH he's already isolating himself arahggklahlfhaslfahsfas and its UNINTETNIONAL which is SO realistic.... small thoughts that build up and eventually a gap is created that he hadn't even fathomed before
// In fact-at this luncheon-Chuuya orders himself a glass of hard liquor, which he NEVER would have done before. He also does this with the mentality 'Welp...I'm planning on seeing Dazai later... Might as well prep myself now...' // OUCH!!!! THAT HURTS!! You're not supposed to feel that way to a loved one chuuya pelase... nooo... Does this mean he's like -- probably almost always drunk around dazai if he can ? OUCH i think my new favourite word is ouch
//As for your question? Yes. This idea/feeling that things have been moving too fast have ALWAYS been gnawing at the back of his mind since the very beginning. But the more time he spends in Dazai's presence, the more confused he's feeling about literally everything.// NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! DAZAI'S PRESCENCE CONDLICTING HIS THOUGHTS!!!!! chuuya waaaaa i've gotten really attatched to chuuya recently because one of my close bsd friends looves chuuya and so ive been subconciously looking at more stuff of him BAHAHA
// I totally get what you are saying! The calm acceptance of the break is absolutely a red flag. And you're right. Dazai being calm is an absolute front. One Chuuya isn't really reading properly!// RIGHT!! CHILLS
//Yes. Yes, he did. And he was calm as a cucumber when he did it, too!// me rn https://www.pinterest.com/pin/272467846200130124/
//Yes. Logically he knew that could be an outcome. Was he TRYING to murder him? No. Is he trying to get him NOT to leave? Yes. Trying to scare the crap out of him? Also, yes.// ME RN https://www.pinterest.com/pin/766878642825231728/ (I have SO many) ooooof i love this that he HAS a motive... ufufufuu
//Hahahaha! Yes! I think I am understanding! And I will try my best to sum up their feelings for each other. Chuuya: His feelings for Dazai start with disgust/dislike that lead him to being quite infatuated with Dazai. Dazai keeps him in a constant state of arousal and confusion. And-yes-at some point Chuuya DOES catch genuine feelings for Dazai (but, you HAVE to take into account how confused he is). Dazai: He is deeply and intensely physically attracted to Chuuya. That is real. But Dazai doesn't know WHAT love is. Everything towards Chuuya is driven by pure, horrifying, unadulterated obsession.// OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH UFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFU I ADORE THIS IM EATING THIS UUUUUUUP!!!!!!!! UFUFUFUFUFUFUFFU i love the progression of chuuya's feelings and the fact the 'progression' is highly volatile bcs he never really had a chance to thikn his feelings thoguh if that makes sense ? as you said confused is what im getting at AJSLKDJAS DAZAAAAAI'S OH M Y i always love a little crazy obsession having a greater psychology to it rather than just 'obsession' LOVE YOUR STUFF UFUFU https://www.pinterest.com/pin/90775748732694832/ me rn
//That is so neat! And really, it is quite canon, no? That Chuuya is physically stronger than Dazai, even without his ability? So, it fits! And I'm glad you feel that way! That it also matches Dazai's underhanded scheming// YESSS!! IT IS CANON AND I LOVE IT BUT I SEE PEOPLE COMPLETELY FORGET IT BAHAHAHA
//Agan! If you care to share, I am extremely eager, and all ears!// HEHE AYE AYE
//AWE THANK YOU! That truly means so very much to me!!!! *tears*
And those pictures! *squeals* SO cute!// HEHEHHEHE it made me very happy to respond to these i was in a . mood for the past month (┬┬﹏┬┬) !!!
(.....sorry for disappearing (╥﹏╥)....)-> Awe, my friend... You NEVER have to apologize! Certainly not to me!
(have this dazai art i drew as apology https://i.pinimg.com/736x/a2/82/33/a28233fd9cbfa9b3d93fb41494655016.jpg ! it will appear inside a fic at some point. ( ╥ ᴗ ╥))-> But... I mean.... If you REALLY feel some sort of way... And WANT to give me this Dazai art..... ....Imma not gonna say no....
(HEHE anything you make will always be nomnomnommed by me!)-> AH! And there you go, making me tear up, again!
(giggles HEHEHEEHE)-> mmmmmhm... I don't hear you saying 'no'... But...I also don't hear you saying yes, either! xDDDD
(NOOOOOO STOPPPPP I LAUGHED AHSDAHAHH DAZAI NOOOOOO0-> Dazai DO be making LOL's out of death and dying. xD
(This reminds me of an original character my friend has (the one who is literally dazai, but who i knew about before i watched bsd hence is the REASON i like dazai) and he'd SO say this as well, there's a running gag where his wife (my character) tells him to go to hell and she has to yank the knife away from his hands LMAOOOO)-> Awe, I remember you talking about these OC's!!! And I LOVE them, and that you and your friend worked together to create counterparts to each other's characters! Also... When you said that YOUR OC tells THEIR OC to 'go to hell', I was like 'CHUUUUUUUYA!!!! That you?!?!?!' xDDDD THEN, your character having to chase your friend's characer down and take away the knife is. *chuckles* Very funny to me!
(NOOOOOOOOO HE'S SUPPOSED TO KEEL OVER AND PAINFULLY DIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!! NOT WANT IT..!!!)-> *Dazai's unamused expression* https://www.pinterest.com/pin/580471839492904702/
(It's okay chuuya.. i support you... even if you're super drunk you have my okay to stab dazai fr LMAOOOOOOOOOOO i can just imagine what things chuuya was saying.. definitely diabolical)-> Hahahaha! There will DEFINITELY be times where Chuuya considers stabbing the man (no matter HOW much he loves him). And yeeeeeaaah... Chuuya was VERY loud. And VERY crass. The people nearby/next door were probably genuinely worried about the fight that was going on....
(RIIIIIIIGHT IT'S SO HARD TO COMPLETELY FEEL ONE WAY ABOUT DAZAI BAHDASH in every au he makes me feel differently, either i wanna chuck him to the wall or hug him or both (or run away))-> Oh, I COMPLETELY agree!!!! Seriously!!! Dazai is tied with Chuuya as my favorite... And there are moments I have NO idea how to feel about Dazai....
(https://www.pinterest.com/pin/480477854016684156/ me to this information ... i found more https://www.pinterest.com/pin/351562314682233506/ https://www.pinterest.com/pin/311803974221076001/)-> The fact that EACH character has THIS exact picture is making me laugh SO hard it hurts! xDDDD
(YES YES YES I AGREE SO MUCH LMAOOOOOO omg i actually never thought of this before but you're so right?? i always think of him with ASPD and BPD FITS SO WELL ESPECIALLY IN STUFF LIKE THIS.... notes down.......)-> Ah, yeah... I mean, canonically Dazai absolutely has ASPD. Conduct Disorder. (I don't see him as a narcissist). And obviously with the Major Depressive Dissorder. But yeah... Esecially in this story I'm writing... The more fleshed out this Dazai's character gets...the more he seems to be displaying BPD. And note away! LOVE it when you do that!!!
(https://www.pinterest.com/pin/311803974221076001/ me rn AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! this is so scary i love the psychology behind it so much... dazai just.... being a sort of loose canon.. He does things... and you never know why.. Maybe even he doesn't sometimes LMAO)-> Ha! Again with the picture!!! xDDDD And that is definitely ONE way to describe Dazai. A loose canon! LOVE that!!!!
(UGLY CRYING RN SOBSSSSSSSS CHUUUUYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA that's SO SO SWEET UWAAAAAAAAAH the fluff smushed in between the angst... sobs cries)-> Awe! Glad you approve! I definitely headcanon Chuuya as someone who places a lot of value on people, and relationships (in all forms).
(OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! OUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!!!!! sigh... It's okay chuuya you're so valid (biased) i understand kouyou too though AAAH I LVOE IT it's so multifaceted)-> Yes. Chuuya is absolutely biased in this. He was 15 when his dad up-and-left, and Kouyou was already off at her first year of college. So he was actually THERE, when it happened. And THERE, when his mom fell apart. And it's not that Kouyou DOESN'T understand. And it's even that she wasn't hurt or effected by this, either. Their personal experience of the even is just a little different.
(OUCH OUCH OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH he's already isolating himself arahggklahlfhaslfahsfas and its UNINTETNIONAL which is SO realistic.... small thoughts that build up and eventually a gap is created that he hadn't even fathomed before)-> You are SO right!!! And I LOVE how you are picking up on that!!!! It's almost as if these things (the distancing) are happening without him eve realizing it, with it becoming 'how did we even GET here, to this point?' A slow, insidious, sneaky progression of events and choices.
(OUCH!!!! THAT HURTS!! You're not supposed to feel that way to a loved one chuuya pelase... nooo... Does this mean he's like -- probably almost always drunk around dazai if he can ? OUCH)-> No... You're NOT supposed to feel that way around someone you supposedly love. And someone who supposedly loves you shouldn't make you feel that way.... And...what is worse....the logical (not emotional) part of Chuuya's brain KNOWS this.... It's like being able to SEE the problem, but NOT knowing HOW to fix it. And...as far as your question.... It slowly starts to become part of Chuuya's pattern, yes... For many reasons. Paired association (like Pavolov's Dogs... Chuuya pairs times with Dazai with drinking/being drunk) Also as a coping mechanism to escape/deal with things that he feels are out of his control.
(i think my new favourite word is ouch)-> It will be a good word for this story....
(NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! DAZAI'S PRESCENCE CONDLICTING HIS THOUGHTS!!!!!)-> And Dazai actually somewhat knows that he's 'short-circuiting' Chuuya's brain with the things he does.
(chuuya waaaaa i've gotten really attatched to chuuya recently because one of my close bsd friends looves chuuya and so ive been subconciously looking at more stuff of him BAHAHA)-> ME TOO!!!!! I absolutely LOVE Chuuya! And I feel like he deserves SO much better! He's SO underrated (and even misrepresented!!!). But I LOVE my Chibi!!!!
(me rn https://www.pinterest.com/pin/272467846200130124/)-> These pictures!!!! xDDDDDD
(ME RN https://www.pinterest.com/pin/766878642825231728/ (I have SO many) ooooof i love this that he HAS a motive... ufufufuu)-> Yes... He DOES have a motive in kicking Chuuya down the stairs. Not a valid/healthy/sane one... But he didn't do it 'for no reason'.
(OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH UFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFU I ADORE THIS IM EATING THIS UUUUUUUP!!!!!!!! UFUFUFUFUFUFUFFU)-> THANK YOU!!!!!
(i love the progression of chuuya's feelings and the fact the 'progression' is highly volatile bcs he never really had a chance to thikn his feelings thoguh if that makes sense ? as you said confused is what im getting at AJSLKDJAS)->I'm glad you like this concept of Chuuya's developing feelings for Dazai. And yes... Chuuya is almost ALL of the time confused over Dazai, and his feelings for Dazai. Honestly.... Their very first encounter was complete confusion and chaos... And you hit the freaking nail on the head, with Chuuya never really getting a chance to actually freaking process his emotions. There's never really a proper moment where he's able to take a step back and assess the situation outside of the 'Dazai' bubble.
(DAZAAAAAI'S OH M Y i always love a little crazy obsession having a greater psychology to it rather than just 'obsession' LOVE YOUR STUFF UFUFU)-> Yeeeaaah.... There is definite obsession on his part. It is real. And it is intense. And because of his own background/history/etc. When I say he doesn't know what love is...? I mean it. Think if Dazai like Chuuya's yandere, in a way...
(https://www.pinterest.com/pin/90775748732694832/ me rn)->xDDDDD
(YESSS!! IT IS CANON AND I LOVE IT BUT I SEE PEOPLE COMPLETELY FORGET IT BAHAHAHA)-> They really do!!! I feel like Chuuya (and honestly, Akutagawa, a lot, too) are so horribly misrepresented in fics. It's sad, really....
(//Agan! If you care to share, I am extremely eager, and all ears!// HEHE AYE AYE)-> https://www.pinterest.com/pin/713961347160058556/ xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
(HEHEHHEHE it made me very happy to respond to these i was in a . mood for the past month (┬┬﹏┬┬) !!!)-> Awe, love! Well, I have to say... Whatever has happened this last month, know that I am SO very happy for your return. No matter WHAT. I will ALWAYS be happy when you come back!!!! And you will ALWAYS be missed when you're gone!!!
Also.... To make you giggle and go "awwwwwe" I present.... This....
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APurpleZ on Chapter 1 Tue 24 Jun 2025 08:55PM UTC
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The_Lady_In_Black on Chapter 1 Fri 27 Jun 2025 09:25PM UTC
Last Edited Fri 27 Jun 2025 09:30PM UTC
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