Oh my god HI! Thank you so so much for the comment, tho I have to warn you the Reader WILL BE roughened up.
I too hate the stories where the WS snaps and hurts the reader, but, as you said, he’s immediately forgiven because of love. Still, he will be “a violent dog” mostly because he is one; the WS in this story is literally ONLY his training; he’s missing all of his human aspects, and the plot spins around exactly this. The philosophical/psychological concept of raising a truly free consciousness, that is not the result of conditioning, even a soft one, from the people and experience around them.
He will snap here and there; he will have to understand he’s far stronger and therefore capable of harm than the reader.
Point is, he’s not used to that, he’s used to handlers, he doesn’t possess the part that lived (even if that part was seared off of his personality) in a society; he’s literally a social inept… with a bionic arm and very able to cause a lot of damage.
The relationship between the WS and the Reader will not be an easy one; she’s not soft (despite what the WS keeps thinking), she’s just obsessive and curious, she wants to know and get to the bottom of things.
She bleeds for the WS, true, but she decided to help him, at least for the most part, because she WANTS for things to have witnesses.
She saw someone left alone in a shitty situation, and the “Punk” part of her decided she couldn’t let the government win.
She’s far from an empath; she understands suffering, and she’s (obviously) very sorry for his past, but she’s not a “crocerossina” (Red Cross nurse) she saw injustice and couldn’t let this happen.
They will bite each other, she will make mistakes and snap, and he will too, but nothing will be brushed off, nor forgiven because of “love” simply because none of them love the other.
They will eventually, but it will be a slow process, and the “snaps” will have consequences and will be setbacks.
I just wanted to tell you this, not to deter you of course, since no real harm will be done, but just so you could be informed and prepared, and you could make informed decisions 🩷.
With this said.
HE IS ALREADY STRUGGLING WITH HIS FEELINGS FOR HER!! He will fall first and harder; he is guilty and ashamed that he’s “the bad one” but, more than anything else, he’s jealous of Bucky, in his idea he’s the one that always followed his orders, he never rebelled, he never walked astray of his path and yet he’s being punished and the “rebel” that he had finally gotten rid of is the one that can live a free life.
It makes no sense to him.
It IS a protective instinct, the biggest one he could manage with the state of mind he is in at the moment, he knows the world is cruel and violent and seeing this “fragile” thing bleeding for him makes him think the world will hurt her far more than he could ever hurt her, he wants to make it quick and as painless as possible, in his mind she can’t survive his world, but his world doesn’t exist, not in the real world at least.
He will have to grow out of it; sometimes he will learn this in a kind way, some others in a harsher way. She IS the first good thing to ever happen to him, but she’s not perfect; she has never experienced his world, she’s not part of his life, she has never had to struggle the same way he did, and with the fact that he had been split from his previous life permanently, they literally have no common ground. They’ll have to build one.
Thank you sooooo much for your comment, it gave me a lot of insight. I hope my story will still be to your liking after this enormous ramble about the psychology behind their actions.
I’m truly grateful for your comments; they make my day 🩷🫶
See you soon!
I see :) To be honest my main gripe with how that typically goes is how quickly it’s glossed over. But your WS is very well characterized and I think that’s important too for him to be compelling/sympathetic. As long as there are reasonable actions and reasonable consequences, I can thoroughly enjoy the drama, although I’m sure it will be torture to read the angsty bits, I’m sure I’ll also love it, you’re doing a great job with this fic🩷And so sweet of you to prepare and inform me🥹
Love punk!reader who can’t stand injustice (how very Steve of her in some ways).
Ok but I really like that they have to build common ground, but also she kind of is perfect for him, bc she cares so much about him. It’s so sweet. And she figured out his fear of having food bc it might be poisoned thing right away. I feel like she’s the best girl.
So SO interesting what you said about his jealousy of Bucky, like I didn’t even think of that aspect, as the WS he is basically the one who took all the crap suffered all the horrors and now he has to struggle more too. But also if all he’s ever experienced are the worst things would he even feel the ‘injustice’ of that? Did Hydra ever reward him for good behavior for him to understand good behavior=rewards? Or is this jealousy/bitterness sth that slowly develops.
I love jealous!Bucky tho, and um I think that could tie in very nicely with the Bucky/reader/WS sandwich, just heaps and heaps of jealousy from both of them would be soo delicious, maybe WS could even be a little bit smug at some point because she’s his girl not Bucky’s girl, like once he gets over his jealousy/insecurity at ‘the good one’ wanting her. God, I’m so invested.
If anything I only like this story MORE after your enormous ramble! I love thinking about the psychology behind their actions. For me the way character’s act/think is the most interesting part of a story🩷 I am very grateful for your replies also :D
OMG OMG OMG, I AM THE ONE WHO’S GRATEFUL! You’ll be very happy to know the sandwich side story (I can’t call it anything else, it’s too funny like that) is being written, I really cannot do Porn Without Plot, so I’m planning a monolith, sorry not sorry HAHA.
I’m so glad you appreciated the heads up. I really didn’t want for you to find something triggering in the middle of your reading, so I’m very relieved you won’t.
I 100% agree with your view, consequences must happen if something bad happens, period, it’s a must for me. And by reading your worries, I’m confident you won’t find anything you’ll dislike (do let me know tho, and never hesitate to ask for more TW or heads up).
Oh my god you are right!! That’s such a Steve move!! HAHAHAH I haven’t even noticed.
She IS perfect for this! For the WS to be specific, I have this meme in my head of like Steve trying to help her understand how to help the WS recover by saying: “Bucky needed lots of time and understanding, he was very scared, so we took small steps, and celebrated small victories” while in the mean time how she and the WS approach rehabilitation is a literal trash pile burning, screaming matches, empty threats and the both of them manhandling each other through life.
They are perfect for each other. We will have cunt and cuntier.
The WS will get even more jealous of Bucky, tho for now, I’m thinking he won’t meet him a lot since he’s scared of this assassin that is literally the embodiment of his abuse.
The WS’s head is a mess, so interesting what you said about the Pavlovian concepts of “good behaviour” = reward, I’m gonna explore this for sure.
I’m so glad you like my story! And super happy you like my characterisation, I’m deeply grateful for your insights and the yapping sessions.🩷🩷
😆🩷 I love plot I think that’s a big part of the appeal. I mean why else would I care about em going at it? Ooo you could call it ‘the Sandwich Monolith’, just teasing haha
I’m pretty confident I won’t find anything I’ll dislike also.
Yess!! Which makes sense I think that someone Bucky or WS Bucky would be with would be a little bit like Steve in some way. He has a lot of good qualities.
That is so funny!! I’m imagining like a support group setup in a badly lit community rec center basement and there’s a banner in the corner that’s already losing its stickiness sth like “The Bucky Barnes Recovery Support group” and it’s just Sam looking tired, and Steve looking hopeful and Reader hanging onto her last thread. And Steve is pretty much the only one yapping while Sam chugs coffee and she just tries to keep her chill and cracks her knuckles for the billionth time.
I do believe they are perfect for each other, but I look forward to all the ways you intend to show me :)
Yeah, it makes a lot of sense they wouldn’t run into each other. I mean even if Bucky wanted to which I don’t think he would especially not right away but maybe later on. I do think Steve would definitely not want to allow that out of his protective instincts for Bucky. But WS could still be jealous based off maybe positive news reports on Bucky. Like I wouldn’t be surprised if part of Steve’s plan is to fix the people’s view of his ‘good Bucky’ is to get him lots of good press doing volunteery stuff or sth. Oh oh and that could feed into WS’s indignation also bc didn’t Pierce lie to WS saying that his missions were helping change the world for the better? I mean it’s an obvious lie to us, and idk if WS even really believed it, but it’s probably what he heard a lot, yet instead of getting peace he’s trapped with a pretty girl he doesn’t understand (not a bad deal tho honestly) Oh but it could be also maybe sth he notices with his super hearing or super seeing? lol I mean he must have good eyesight, he might catch Reader checking out Bucky on the news. That would be very jealousy inducing, probably ;P
Cool cool, yeah what you said about WS’s psychology just got me thinking about all that. Bc generally with kids that is how you teach them right and wrong before they can understand things like morality, bad behavior=punishment of some sort, good behavior=reward of some sort, WS probably just got punishments bc there’s no need to give him rewards when he has no choice in what he can do. It’s just a matter of making him do it well, so good behavior probably just meant no punishment. I mean it makes me wonder how he would view just like basic human decency, like being fed enough and allowed to sleep in a bed, and having options for doing activities like would he immediately think ‘this is trick’? Or would he think this is a reward, but not even really understand what he’s doing right enough to deserve nice things. I feel like they’ll need to talk a lot to figure each other out, but like that would have its own issues bc he sure as shit isn’t going to bring it up and she’s not a mind reader. There’s just so much dramatic potential! I’m so excited! I know whatever you decide to focus on is gonna be awesome though.
I enjoy yapping with you too :D
HAHAHAH bet, it’s going to be a very funny one-shot to write.
I’m glad you feel the same, do let me know i something worries you🩷.
The support group is such a funny mental image!! HAHAHAHA I can’t shake it off.
ABSOLUTELY, Steve would 100% pull something like that; he’s trying to do his best and good press feels like the best option here.
I imagine the WS thinking the Reader is checking Bucky out on TV and being super pissy and jealous about it, meanwhile, the Reader is there thinking: “wow, he really does dress like an old man.”
SEE?! That’s why I love your comments; they make me think about so many possibilities. After reading your last one, I sat down and thought a bit about what kind of life the WS had actually lived while in Hydra captivity, and so many ideas arose. I’m so glad you took the time to write me a comment; it was very useful (and super sweet).
I dusted off some of my old psychology manuals and the gold I found in there… The association bad behavior=punishment and good behavior=reward made me think that THAT, more than anything else, is a type of conditioning in itself; if the reader were to do that, she wouldn't be giving him free-will, nor would she be helping him finding his own morality, she would just be imposing her own, for how delicately she could try to be in doing so.
So many gut-wrenching scenarios are running through my head. UGH I love this!!
Amazing ideas on the punishments/rewards system going on inside Hydra, the dehumanisation aspect of living your life as an object not able to want, desire, feel, and the contraposition with the fact that the part in him that ever tried to want and desire good things was literally ripped away from him.
Talking will be a huge milestone tho, she’s a yapper, he’s not, and sometimes, even in not so serious situations, a too loud personality associated with a quieter one ends up swallowing the introverted one needs and projecting their own only because it feels right. Especially since, as you said, she’s not a mind reader, she’s only enthusiastic.
Thank you so so much, I enjoy yapping with you too! so much!
Thanks a ton and see you soon. Take care!🩷
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