Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Alucard, why do you always refuse sex with us?”

Alucard almost choked on his bread and butter as Trevor voiced a long-silent question between them.

“Trevor!” Sypha hissed.

“I’m just asking!” he exclaimed. “Sypha doesn’t want to push it but if there’s, like, a serious issue, we can talk about it or something. We just don’t want you to feel left out.”

Alucard took a swig of his wine to smooth out the bread dust that had caught in his throat and gazed up at the sky.

It was a gorgeous day, one of the nicest in a long time. The trio were sitting in the grass just outside the castle with a rather dusty picnic basket. They were having a great time, Alucard was laughing more than usual until Trevor voiced something he actually hadn’t thought about in a long time.

“Is it because you don’t have balls?” Travor continued when he didn’t answer. “Ouch!” he yelped when Sypha elbowed him in the stomach. “Sypha!”

“He clearly doesn’t want to talk about it, so quit ruining the mood!” she whisper-yelled at Trevor.

“Why do you think that?” Alucard raised an eyebrow at the Belmont.

“When we first fought, in the catacombs,” he answered, “and I kneed you in the groin. ‘This isn’t a bar fight, have some class,’ and all that?”

“I do not sound like that,” Alucard muttered.

“Is it like a vampire-human thing?” Trevor asked. “‘Cuz I’m pretty sure I’ve hit plenty of vampires’ and humans’ balls, and— Sypha, for God’s sake!”

“No, it’s not a ‘vampire-human thing’,” Alucard rolled his eyes. He sighed and set down his wineglass.

“I’ll tell you if you really want to know, but it’s not something most people like to hear,” he warned. Both humans sat up and gave him their full attention, earning another sigh.

“I was born Claire Tepes,” he began. “A daughter, which thrilled my mother. But as I grew up I hated dresses and was more rough than I should have been, or at least that’s what my mother told me. I was crying one night because I was so uncomfortable with myself and I had no clue why. My mother sat me down and asked me what was wrong and I told her I wish I could be a boy. She looked at me with total seriousness and asked me, ‘Are you a boy?’ And I answered her, ‘Yes.’

“My father didn’t understand and it was the topic of many fights between them, but he came around. I chose the name Adrian and my mother used her medicines and skillful hands to remove what parts of me I didn’t want. She couldn’t easily add parts that I hadn’t been born with, but that was fine with me. So I became Adrian Tepes, son of Vlad Dracula and Lisa Tepes, though I think I always was. Well, Adrian Tepes-Without-Balls, it would seem.”

There was a beat of silence in which a few birds could be heard tweeting in the distance.

“So you don’t have a dick either,” Trevor stated and Sypha facepalmed.

“No.”

“I swear, Belmont,” Sypha muttered. “Adrian, we love you. We don’t care what parts you have or who you used to be, we love you as Adrian Tepes.”

“Thank you, Sypha.”

“Though you should have told us sooner,” she continued. “We would have been more than willing to treat you right, you know that.”

Alucard sighed. “Yes, but the reaction amongst vampires is only slightly better than humans, if you discount the Church. I have learned to be wary.”

“Yeaaah, there isn’t much kindness to spare in this world,” Trevor said. “However, we are not the world and I believe tonight we now have plans. If…that’s fine with you,” he added, looking at Alucard.

Adrian smiled. “Plans do sound fabulous …Though only if I get to be in the middle tonight.”

“You’re always in the fucking middle!”

“I am not.”

“He’s right, Trevor.”

“Shut up, Sypha.”