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Haru and Makoto have been dating for one month. One blissful, yellow tinted, month. Nothing really has changed between them. They still work on their duet together, Haru still cooks lunch and dinner for Makoto, whilst Makoto still reads over Haru’s essays and helps to make improvements. But small things have changed. When Makoto sleeps over, he sleeps next to Haru now, and not on the floor. They openly stare at one another without having to be self conscious and when either of them gets caught staring, the other one just smiles back at them.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Makoto will laugh and Haru will nod. Makoto says it lightly, but Haru holds the words close to his chest. One month. One entire month. This is usually the finish line, the threshold level of anyone who tries to actually be with him. They grow distant, or worse, they start to put pressure on Haru to do things he’s not interested in. Haru prefers the ones who quietly realize and leave on their own. The ones that get frustrated with Haru and he has to tell them to leave are by far the worst. They always shout and Haru shrinks into himself.

But Makoto shows no signs of breaking. He smiles as blissfully at Haru as ever and only asks to be cuddled. He presses his nose into the back of Haru’s hair and breathes deeply the smell of his citrus shampoo when they sleep together. Haru grabs Makoto’s strong arms and winds them around his waist.

“This ok?” Makoto asks. Because he always asks, and he’ll keep asking.

Haru just hums in return and presses himself harder against Makoto’s tired body.

It’s a rainy Saturday night when they finish writing the new song. Well, Haru finishes writing it. Makoto gives emotional support. They run through it several more times to make sure that they’re comfortable with it, then Haru tucks the sheet music into his bag for rehearsal the next day.

“Hey, I finished that song I was writing.” Haru informs Rin early in the morning. Rin drops his guitar, letting it swing on its strap, and turns excitedly towards Haru. “Really? It’s all done?” He grins. Sousuke glances up from where he’s drawing a tattoo design on a piece of paper. His shop is closed Sundays and he’s been hanging around the garage more and more. Nostalgia he says is the reason. Not that he actually misses them, or thinks his boyfriend looks hot with a guitar around his waist. Nothing sentimental like that.

“You wanna show us?” He asks. Haru’s mouth presses into a hard line, but he nods. He doesn’t want to show that he actually might be a bit nervous. Everything Haru does is effortless. It’s an image he’s carefully crafted for himself over the years, so this too should appear like he’s not even trying. But man, has he tried this time. He walks over to Rei’s keyboard and pulls out the music. Rei and Nagisa hear his first few clunky attempts at the keys and make a beeline straight for him.

“Haru-chan! Are you going to play that song you’ve been working on?” Nagisa asks with delight.

“Yeah, I just need….” He looks across the garage at his boyfriend. The word still throws chills up his spine.

“Makoto,” He calls out. Makoto snaps his gaze to the rest of the group. “Oh yeah!” he mouths under his breath. He jogs over.

“We doing this now?”

Haru nods and pats the spot on the bench next to him for Makoto to sit down. He sits, and without any introductions or explanations, begins to play. Makoto hasn’t warmed up his voice at all, so he’s worried his voice may crack or strain. Haru sends him supportive glances though, and soon the two are singing like they’re just back in Haru’s apartment. Haru’s voice drops down during the chorus to harmonise with Makoto’s, and Makoto begins to smile. His smile is infectious, and soon the two of them are bashfully smiling and staring at one another. Some of Makoto’s lines come out shaky because he’s laughing underneath them. Haru elbows him weakly to keep him going, and their crisp voices fill the garage. Haru’s fingers start to slow and Makoto finishes the song with a solo verse. He speaks the final few lines, but sings and hangs onto the last note, not wanting to give up this moment. It ends and the garage is silent. Haru stares blankly at the group, not showing his distress. Makoto awkwardly laughs and shrugs. Nagisa breaks the silence.

“Hey, hey. Mako-chan and Haru-chan have really great chemistry.” Nagisa’s voice is low and he mock whispers as he elbows Rei in the ribs. Rei shoves his arm away. Makoto blushes up to his ears and Haru has dropped his head so his fringe covers his face.

“Good job, man. It’s really great.” Rin punches Haru in the shoulder. Haru peeks up at him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! Really. You know me.” Rin smirks. “When have I ever protected your feelings?” He laughs at his own joke and Haru rolls his eyes.

“You guys definitely have to perform that at your next gig.” Sousuke leans forward on the table. The entire band nods.

“You gonna be ok with that, Haru? Would you rather Rin sing the other part?” Rei gently offers, but Haru has made up his mind.

“No, I… I want to do it.” Makoto squeezes his leg underneath the table.

“Great! You have three weeks for everyone to learn it!” Gou’s authoritative voice rings out from the other side of the garage.

“T…Three weeks!” Rin shouts. “You have to clear things with me first Gou! You know how long it takes to translate…”

“It’s Kou.” Her cold, quiet voice cuts through Rin’s shrieking. “And you have a gig in two weeks.” She says with finality. She holds her brothers gaze for another moment, before a friendly smile breaks her features. She walks over to the group.

“Seijuuro specially requested you guys perform at his bar again. He says a lot of his patrons have been asking about you.” She shrugs. “I think he’d kind of like his bar to be your unofficial base. You’re good for business.” Then she smiles to herself. “That, and he’s got a rivalry with the gay bar across the street and apparently you guys pull in a lot of their patrons.” She laughs, as does Sousuke. Rin looks slightly pleased with himself, but Makoto uses whatever blood is left in his body to blush more.

“So you have three weeks!” She commands.

By the end of their rehearsal Haru’s voice is hoarse, and his and Rin’s fingers ache from where their guitar strings cut into them. Makoto rubs his sore throat and Nagisa might actually be out of energy. The only one still left with motivation is Rei, but it’s a crazed kind of motivation that pushes him to achieve perfection with everything he does. Rin finally collapses on a chair and tells them all to go home. Makoto grabs his bag and stumbles out of the garage, thinking about the several assignments for school that have been somewhat neglected. He should really stay up late that night to get a good handle on them again. He’s lost in his own head when Haru runs up to him.

“Makoto,” His voice is rough with exertion. “I know we’ve finished working on the song, but did you still want to come over tomorrow?” He asks hopefully. Makoto laughs, because the thought of not coming had never crossed his mind.

“I’ll be there.” And he hugs Haru before he leaves.

It’s earlier than Haru had anticipated when Makoto shows up at his door. Haru’s eyes are bleary and his usually smooth hair is knotted and flattened on one side from sleep. He blinks at Makoto slowly. Instead of his usual collared plaid shirt and jeans, he wears cargo pants and a rough looking sweater. His bag looks overstuffed and his converse have been replaced with a pair of lace up boots. Haru starts to look worried.

“Whhaaaaat’s going on?”

But Makoto just smiles reassuringly at him.

“Get dressed, I’m taking you somewhere.” He pushes Haru towards his bathroom to shower. “Make sure you dress comfortably.”

Haru grinds down his heels, stopping Makoto from pushing him any further. He looks over his shoulder up at Makoto with wide, anxious eyes.

“Please don’t take me camping.” He states. “Please.” Makoto is taken aback. He scoffs and his eyes narrow in confusion. Then he looks down at his cargo pants and hiking boots, and ok maybe that wasn’t such a ridiculous conclusion to jump to.

“I really hate it.” Haru says again. Makoto laughs loudly. He shouldn’t. His boyfriend is clearly worried, but there’s something about Haru being so anxious over camping that Makoto just can’t stop giggling at.

“We’re not going camping!” He laughs. “I promise. You’ll like it. Trust me, let me take you on a date.”

Haru’s eyes are still wide, but for a different reason now. His pale cheeks start to freckle with pink.

“A… a date?”

“Yeah,” Makoto drops his voice. “I wanna go on a date with you.”

Haru sucks in a breath. His chest aches and it spreads up to his throat. If his voice weren’t so wrecked from the day before he might actually burst out in song. There’s a series of explosions happening inside his body, but on the outside he just drops his head, hides his blushing face and begins to scurry into the shower.

“Oh…okay.” He mumbles.

Haru lets himself be lead blindly by Makoto. They take a bus to a train station, and then ride a train for 45 minutes. The city evaporates into suburbs, and then houses scatter and dissolve into fields. Makoto looks contently out the window. His glasses catch the early morning sunlight and he smiles stupidly to himself.

“You gonna tell me where we’re going yet?” Haru sighs. Makoto just shakes his head.

“It’s in two more stops.”

Haru patiently waits.

1 stop.

2 stops.

The conductor’s tinny voice echoes through the carriage.

“Northern suburbs train station and city zoo.”

Haru’s eyes widen and he slowly turns to look at Makoto. Makoto is laughing. It’s a guilty laugh, but full of excitement. He shrugs, then grabs Haru’s hand and pulls him off the train.

Makoto practically runs down the stairs of the train station and across the street, pulling Haru behind him towards the grand archway that reads “Zoo.”. There are animals sculpted into the metal of the archway and grand gardens flank the entrance.

“Makoto…Are you serious?” Haru asks incredulously. But Makoto just laughs and begins to sprint through the archway. His laughter bounces off the metal and rings sweetly through the air. Haru is wrapped in it.

“Are you serious?!” He asks again, but he’s yelling and laughing with Makoto, racing him to the ticket counter.

Makoto pays for both tickets against Haru’s protests. They get a map of the zoo and decide where they should go first. Makoto starts to suggest the African plains section, but Haru immediately seizes upon the Tropical zone, filled with tigers, tapirs, orangutans… and aquariums.

Haru sits in front of the aquariums in awe of all the different life they hold. The room they sit in is dark and the aquariums are backlit, spilling blue light onto the floor. It envelops Haru and makes his pale skin look luminescent. Blue waves refelect in makoto’s green eyes, making them look like deep ocean water. Both of them laugh at the frogs that lose their footing and fall into the water, and Makoto points out a very strange looking turtle. Haru names several of the species of brightly coloured fish and excitedly educates Makoto about their different requirements. Haru is usually quiet, but he’s been speaking continuously since they’ve entered the aquarium house. Makoto quietly hangs on every word. Then Haru goes silent.

“No way.” He gasps. He takes Makoto’s hand and yanks him to the end of the house. A small archway indicates that they are entering a new area. Instead of a sign reading “frogs” or “crocodiles” or something Makoto might actually recognize, the archway reads “Platypus house.”. Haru sprints into the new area. The entire room contains only one tank, and it’s the largest tank in the house so far. Even the anaconda’s is smaller than this. There are logs in the water, and the back of the tank has been sculpted to look like a river bank. Mud and small plants sit on the synthetic bank, and a nesting box sits along the water’s edge. Haru places his face to the glass. Waiting.

The water ripples and there’s a faint plop. Shrimp are being dropped from somewhere above, obviously by a keeper they cannot see. The shrimp swims calmly through the water… until a brown mammal zooms out of its burrow to grab it. Haru makes a delighted gasp.

“Amazing.” His eyes anxiously follow the platypus, gliding easily in the water and using its bill to push around the mud at the bottom of the tank. More shrimp are dropped in and the platypus scoops them up.

“It’s so weird,” Haru laughs quietly. “I’ve never seen one before.”

Makoto steps closer to his side. “They’re Australian right?” Haru nods. Then he pulls himself away from the glass. There’s a foggy circle where his mouth was.

“Can you take a picture for me?” He demands. Makoto pauses at his desperate looking face, then smiles.

“Of course.” Makoto pulls out his phone and is sure to turn the flash off.

“I want to send it to Rin. He did an exchange in Australia for a while.” Haru kneels down next to where the platypus is eating and makes a peace sign with his hand.

“Smile!” Makoto laughs, but Haru’s expression doesn’t change. Makoto chuckles and snaps the photo.

“Do you want to send Rin a message along with the picture?”

Haru makes “gimme” hands and Makoto hands the phone over. Haru taps out a message.

To Rin: This is an egg laying mammal with a duck bill, webbed, venomous claws, and a flat beaver tail.

.

.

And yet it’s still more attractive than you.

-Haru.

Haru hands the phone back to Makoto, where he balks at the message.

“Haru!” But Haru has walked out of the house and is heading towards the next area.

Makoto and Haru marvel at the otters, and how they shriek at one another as they fall in an out of the water. They snigger at sea lions that bathe their fat bodies out in the sun. They both take more photos of the monkeys, lions and tapirs they see. They send them all to their friends with friendly comments from Makoto, and sarcastic comments from Haru.

To Rei: This peacock is beautiful and it made me think of you J

-Makoto

To Sousuke: This hippo looks like you when you’ve had too many burgers

- Haru

To Rin: This wild dog and all her puppies makes me think of you trying to organize our band. Haha, sorry if we’re a pain sometimes ;P

-Makoto

To Nagisa: I found penguins! I know they’re your favorite, so here’s a cute one just for you.

-Makoto

To Rin: This elephant smells and so do you.

-Haru

To Sousuke: Haha! This bear just punched its friend in the face and now they’re cuddling. Sound familiar ? ;P

-Makoto

To Rin: This baboons butt reminds me of something.

-Haru

To Rin: This pile of shit also reminds me of something,

-Haru

To Rin: Hint – it’s you.

-Haru

To Haru: PLEASE FUCKING STOP. SOUSUKE IS LAUGHING TOO MUCH.

-Rin

Makoto cheers and giggles when they find the petting zoo, but his fun time is abruptly cut off when he finds a goat that doesn’t seem to like the look of his face. Makoto dumps his animal food and darts through the cluster of sheep, hoping the goat will stop at the neglected pile of animal pellets on the ground. It does not.

“Haru!” Makoto yells. Haru looks up from the sleepy looking llama he is petting, only to be grabbed and used as a human shield against a goat. Makoto, a good head taller and 15kg heavier than him, is using his frail body as a defense.

“It won’t leave me alone!” Makoto cries. The goat jogs up to Haru and stares at him with his cold, horizontal-pupiled eyes.  Haru manages to stare the goat down and leads his nervous boyfriend out of the petting zoo.

They sit down on the lawns in front of the flamingo pond and Makoto pulls two boxed lunches out of his bag. He opens one of the lids to see which one it is, then hands it to Haru.

“I’m still not as great as you, but I hope I’ve learnt something.” He flushes. Haru opens up the box and his eyes immediately identify a hunk of mackerel on a pile of rice.

“Mackerel’s my favorite.” He states.

“I know.” Makoto smiles. Haru, slightly flattered and impressed, begins to tuck into his lunch. His fish is slightly crispy on the underside, and Makoto was probably too generous with the dark soy and sesame oil, but it still melts in Haru’s mouth and tastes like the best thing he’ll have all day. He smiles around his full mouth, averting his gaze from Makoto.

“Is it alright?” Makoto worries.

“Yeah.” Haru nods.

They don’t get up immediately after finishing lunch. The afternoon sun is warm and begging to be laid in, so Makoto obliges it. Haru pulls out a sketchbook and begins to sketch the flamingoes in front of him. Next to him, Makoto lays with his hands behind his back and dozes. He tries to peek at Haru’s drawings.

“I’ll show you when I’m done.” He lifts the cover to shield Makoto’s view.

“Fine”, Makoto sighs.

Haru wakes him 30 minutes later by poking his cheek. He wordlessly flashes the drawings at him. Makoto takes his time moving his gaze over the delicate lines, marveling at how Haru has created the texture of soft feathers with just pencil on paper. He closes his eyes and laughs.

“Haru, Haru, my perfect-at-everything-Haru.” He pokes Haru in the thigh.

“Stoooop.” Haru warns, but he folds the book and stows it into his backpack more delicately than usual.

With the sun starting to melt into the horizon and cast long shadows, they don’t have that many enclosures left to visit. Haru and Makoto wander into an aviary, and the low sun is caught by the broad leaves, making them glow a lime green colour. It’s quiet in the aviary, but for another family or two that wander lazily along the path. Haru stops at a pond to lean over the rail and watch a grebe dive under the water. Makoto leans next to him, listening to the sound of the birds call to each other and begin to roost.

“C’mon little man, they’re closing.” A young man leads his kid brother along the path. It’s nothing really. Haru barely registers it. But Makoto grips onto the rail until his knuckles turn white. He stops breathing and pales. No. He thinks. He chances a glance up, and even from 10 meters away, Makoto recognizes that long stride. The lilt of that voice on the air. Those violet eyes and mop of baby pink hair.

“Shit.” Makoto hisses. He stares at the floor and preys that Kisumi will go a different way through the aviary. But this is the way to the exit, he reminds himself. Haru places a hand on his shoulder. His eyes trace where Makoto’s gaze had been, to the strange pink-haired man approaching with his little brother in tow.

“Makoto? Do you know…?”

“He’s my ex.” Makoto answers. He sounds defeated. Haru is shocked at how his own heart leaps into his chest. He looks at the man again, taking his time to look at his pretty features and broad shoulders.

“Was it a bad breakup?” His voice is low and dangerous. He could take this guy. He really could. Him and his kid brother.

“No no! It was fine.” Makoto straightens up. “It was mutual. We just weren’t… we didn’t fit, you know?” He sighs. “But it’s still awkward.”.

The little brother bolts past them, mercifully not noticing Makoto. Kisumi starts to stride past them, but stops when he catches sight of brown hair and glasses. Makoto’s silhouette is instantly recognisable. Kisumi turns on his heel.

“Makoto?” He asks. His smile is large and he gravitates to grab Makoto’s shoulder. Makoto spins before he has a chance.

“Kisumi! H…hi!” Makoto’s greeting sounds forcefully happy. “H..how are you?”

“Great! Great! My classes are going really well this semester. I’ve been working really hard, just like you told me I should.” Kisumi laughs, not noticing the dark shadow beside Makoto that glares at him with icy eyes.

“But, I figured I should take some time off to spend with my brother. What are you doing…?” And it’s only then that Kisumi’s bright eyes move from Makoto to the raven-haired boy next to him. He wears a blank expression.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Kisumi laughs. “I didn’t realize you were here with someone.” Kisumi holds out his hand. “I’m Kisumi, an old friend of Makoto’s.” Haru does not take his hand. Instead his eyes narrow at the words old friend. Makoto swallows.

“I’m Haruka. Makoto’s boyfriend.”

Kisumi blanches and quickly removes his hand before Haru can bite it off. Makoto wants to step in between them, but his legs have turned to jelly. It’s a high stress situation and yet Makoto can only focus on one thing. He called himself my boyfriend. Haru had occasionally used the word in texts, or to annoy Rin, but he had never claimed it before. He had never so brashly announced it for all the world to hear. Makoto feels his breath catch and his fingers tingle. Hello, I am Makoto and this is my boyfriend, Haru. Ah, I see you’ve met Haru, my boyfriend. Hello I am Haru’s boyfriend. Makoto childishly plays out each scenario where he can tie himself to Haru and Haru to him. It’s small and to normal couples insignificant, but to him it’s special. A line has been crossed.

Kisumi’s frightened gaze turns to Makoto for help. Makoto remembers to breathe and steps forward,.

“Uh yeah. Kisumi, this is Haru, my boyfriend.” His voice shakes a little on the word, but Haru reaches between them and grabs his hand.

“We were just…”

“I get it, I get it.” Kisumi laughs and begins to back away. “I don’t wanna ruin your date. You have fun now.” Kisumi runs after his brother.

“Oh and Haru?” He runs backwards for several paces. Haru looks up. “You hang on to him. He’s pretty special.”

Haru scoffs. He squeezes Makoto’s hand harder. You don’t have to tell me that.

Haru keeps on holding Makoto’s hand as they walk to the train station. It shouldn’t effect Makoto as much as it does, but their fingers are laced together and a small electric shock runs up his arm when their hands swing between them. He gives Haru’s hand a squeeze, solidifying to himself that it’s real. Haru squeezes back. Makoto can’t help the airy laugh that bubbles out of his chest. They both make it to their train and sit together in a comfortable silence. The carriage is empty except for them, and it’s pleasantly warm. Makoto keeps holding Haru’s hand and doses against the cool window. The country side whips by them. Flat plains rise into buildings once more.

“Did you have a good day, Haru?” Makoto sleepily asks. Haru, who has been quietly distracted, turns towards the boy beside him. The sun setting behind him casts a glowing halo around his face.

“Was it alright?” Makoto tries again. Haru blinks back into focus.

“Yeah,” he smiles and leans against Makoto, dropping his head onto his shoulder. Makoto worries about moving and scaring Haru away, like a cat that actually dares to sit on your lap. He remains perfectly still.

“Makoto,” Haru’s voice is barely above a whisper. Makoto hums.

“Do you want to kiss me?” Haru keeps his eyes closed. Makoto stares down at him and laughs nervously.

“What?”

“I said ‘do you want to kiss me’?” Haru repeats. He lazily opens his eyes. Makoto looms over him, his brilliant emerald eyes glistening in the late sun.

“I always want to kiss you, Haru.” He laughs, just enough that it takes the seriousness out of his words. Because god does he want to kiss Haru. He’s thought about it even before they started dating. Fantasised about holding him close, feeling his cool lips against his own. Haru begins to sit up, but he leans closer towards Makoto. A small smile is plastered on his face.

“I will let you kiss me.”

“Haruuu~” Makoto laughs again. His face feels hot. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Don’t just let me because you thinks that what I want.” Makoto smiles and presses his forehead to Haru’s. He reaches for Haru’s other hand and holds both of them in Haru’s lap. Haru continues to smile.

“I want  you to kiss me.” He looks daringly into Makoto’s eyes. Makoto pulls away to properly read Haru’s expression. But he just looks… Happy.

“You sure?”

Haru nods.

Makoto leans forward, pressing their lips together, and its like floodgates have been opened. Makoto chastises himself for how he lets such a little kiss overwhelm his senses and make him dizzy. He can’t get enough oxygen to his lungs. His thumbs soothingly rub circles into Haru’s hands. Haru too is surprised at his own intake of breath, how he presses forward, craving to feel closer to Makoto. He carefully opens his mouth and begins to move his lips against Makoto’s. Makoto responds shyly, but soon they are kissing gently, and Makoto reaches a hand up to cup the side of Haru’s face. He’s panting when he pulls away.

“How was that?” He breathes. Haru’s cheek is warm in his hand and his eyes look dark.

“Good.” Haru sighs. He leans into Makoto’s side, resuming his former position with his head on Makoto’s shoulder. Makoto slips an arm around him.

“I like kissing you.” Haru murmurs. Makoto vibrates with laughter.

“Thank you.” He brushes Haru’s hair back from his face. “Is it something you’d want to do again?”

Haru nods and smirks. Before Makoto has a chance to feel him shift, Haru stretches up and kisses him on his jaw.

“Uh-huh.” Is what he says when he nestles back into Makoto’s side. Makoto can’t answer because he’s afraid he might erupt into a fit of giggles and cheers.

The first kiss leads to a second, and a third, and it spirals into Haru not being fully satisfied when he’s with Makoto unless there is some form of contact between them. Being close to Makoto calms the turbulence in his chest and head. He finds he has difficulty sleeping when Makoto’s not there, and his hands feel cold when they’re not wrapped around Makoto’s. They lean on each other when Rin is lecturing them at rehearsals. When Haru sits at the keyboard to show Rei how to play the song he’s written, Makoto stands behind him and winds his arms around him. He gets distracted when Makoto kisses and rubs his face on the top of his head.

“Stooooop.” Haru warns, but there’s no bite to it. Makoto laughs and leaves him to it.

When they take a break and go into Rin’s living room to play video games, Haru crawls into Makoto’s lap. Makoto is challenging Rin and Nagisa to Mario kart, and he tries to look around Haru to see the screen. Haru intentionally gets in the way.

“Ack! Haru! Stop! I’m trying…” Makoto moves his head around desperately. Rin and Nagisa laugh victoriously.

“Yes Haru! Keep distracting him! He’s beaten me too many times!” Nagisa laughs.

“Karma’s a bitch!” Rin shouts. “Try to use a red shell on me know fucker!” And he laughs maniacally.

“Guuuyyyysss~” Makoto whines. “This is unfair.”

Haru darkly chuckles and kisses Makoto on the cheek. Past Haru, Makoto can hear the cheers of the other players winning and the game finishing. He groans and Haru snickers against his cheek.

“Sorry.”

“You are not.” Makoto looks unimpressed, but he quickly smirks and tosses his controller to the side to hold Haru closer and kiss him on the mouth. Haru reciprocates. It’s open mouthed, but quick, and Makoto smiles against Haru’s lips when he pulls away. The room has gone noticeably silent. Makoto glances around him to see that Rin, Nagisa, and Rei are all staring at them with wide eyes.

“What?” Makoto worries he’s done something wrong. Maybe they didn’t like to see their friends kiss… but Makoto has seen Rei and Nagisa kiss several times. And Rin and Sousuke’s kisses were entirely more suggestive than what Haru and he had just done.

But Makoto doesn’t get much of a chance to worry. Days pass, and Haru keeps kissing him, whether other people like it or not. He kisses him goodnight. He kisses him goodbye when Makoto leaves rehearsal on his own. He kisses him when they’ve finished lunch and there’s still sauce on Makoto’s lips, and he kisses him good morning when they wake up next to each other.

They’re rehearsing their duet, as their gig is only a couple of days away. The band’s sound is finally starting to synch together, thanks to Rei figuring out how to best blend their instruments. Sousuke and Gou are at the rehearsal, watching everything come together. The band’s instruments harmonise with each other, Makoto’s and Haru’s voices ring clearly throughout the metal clad garage. Their performance isn’t as genuine and innocent as the first time they sang together, but they still smile sweetle at one another and Makoto laughs when Haru’s nose scrunches in concentration. Sousuke and Gou sit front and center, tapping their feet and bopping to the rhythm. The music starts to slow and Makoto’s voice rings clearly with the final verse. With his final words and lonely strum of Rin’s guitar, the song comes to a close. The band stands in a hushed silence, energy still coursing through them.

“WE DID IT!” Nagisa claims victoriously and they all cheer. It’s the first time they’ve nailed the song as one unit, one sound, and the air is electrified with their joy. Rin shouts out several “YES”’s and aggressively riffs on his guitar. Rei laughs his crazed scientist laugh, which is cut off when Nagisa knocks the wind out of him with a hug.

“We did it!” Makoto joyfully grabs Haru’s shoulders. He wants to grab him and twirl him around, but he bets Haru would hate that. Instead, Haru has a better idea. He grabs Makoto by the back of the neck and brings him in for a kiss. Nothing too unordinary. But then their mouths are open and Haru is sliding his tongue against Makoto’s. Makoto stops breathing and opens his eyes. He waits for Haru to stop. To say he doesn’t like it, but he’s glad he tried it…. But Haru doesn’t stop. Makoto indulges himself. He closes his eyes and aggressively tugs Haru closer to him, slipping his own tongue into Haru’s mouth. Haru’s hands tighten in Makoto’s hair.

Sousuke still sits on his stool, gaping at the whole exchange. The two eventually part when Rin claps and tells them all to have a brake. Sousuke sprints from his stool when the band disperses.

“What the hell was that?” He hisses when he reaches Rin. Rin takes a sip from his water bottle and raises an eyebrow.

“What was what?”

“That!” Sousuke’s worried pupils dart towards the corner that Haru and Makoto stand in. Makoto is glowing bright red, and their hands are linked together.

“Oh.” Worry flashes over Rin’s eyes, but he hides it with a non-chalant shrug. “Haru’s kissed people before.”

“Nooooot like that.” Sousuke laughs. He sits down next to Rin and sighs. He still watches the two in the corner, Makoto now laughing at something Haru has whispered to him and playfully shoving him. “I’ve never seen him like this with anyone.” Sousuke’s voice is filled with wonder. Rin laughs and pats him on the shoulder.

“He really likes Makoto.” Is the only conclusion he can come to.

Makoto leaves the garage to go to the bathroom, and Nagisa, like a highly skilled predator, seizes the opportunity. He bounces over to Haru innocently.

“You and Mako-chan sure look cute together, Haru-chan.” He places his chin in his hands and leans against a table. His bright pink eyes bat their blonde eyelashes at Haru. Haru’s eyes narrow.

“Yeeessss?” Haru takes a step back. Just in case.

“You seem really happy.” Nagisa smiles. He looks down at the table and runs his finger along the harsh grain. “I’m happy for you, Haru.” He smiles shyly up at him.

“You and Makoto seem to be really close to one another.”

Haru is surprised by Nagisa’s honest words. He tilts his head to the floor and his hands flutter, looking or something to fiddle with.

“Makoto is… special.” He smiles.

And Makoto is special. The only reason Haru finds himself able to so freely kiss him and touch him is because Makoto never once puts any pressure on Haru. He knows Haru’s limits without having to ask, so Haru doesn’t have to hold himself back, in fear that Makoto may get the wrong idea. Haru’s previous partners always assumed kissing lead somewhere, even those that assured him they understood his asexuality. They would kiss him and their hands would wander, getting defensive when Haru would push them away. But Makoto never asks for more. His hands stay steadily on his shoulders and waist, and when Haru pulls away, he doesn’t look disappointed. He smiles, with his glasses all askew, and places a chaste kiss of Haru’s cheek. Haru kisses Makoto to feel closer to him. He lets Makoto hold him close because it’s warm and reassuring. He feels like something precious when Makoto holds him tight. He starts to feel like this is what he’s wanted for so long.

But it’s hard not to worry.

It’s late, and Makoto is staying at Haru’s house again. The two were supposed to be enjoying ice cream and a few video games together, when Haru decided to interrupt all that by climbing onto Makoto’s lap. He straddles Makoto’s thighs, kissing his mouth lazily. He still tastes like caramel from the ice cream. Makoto holds him securely by the waist, eagerly kissing him back with tongues and swollen lips. Haru presses closer and accidentally pulls on Makoto’s hair. There’s a groan from the back of Makoto’s throat, but Haru doesn’t quite register it. He’s just enjoying the warmth and the selfishness of knowing that he can do this with Makoto, while no one else can. Then he shifts his seat and feels Makoto against his thigh. He pulls away and looks down at Makoto’s lap.

“You’re hard.” He states.

“Harruuuuu~” Makoto whines and drops his head onto Haru’s chest.

“What?”

“Don’t say anything. It’s embarrassing.”

Haru would laugh if the crippling guilt wasn’t suffocating his throat. Because Makoto is reacting to him, but he’ll never be able to do that for Makoto. What if Makoto wants more? What if he’s constantly holding himself back?

“I’m sorry.” Makoto chuckles and picks his head up. He kisses Haru’s forehead. “You’re just really beautiful and it’s hard not to react to that sometimes.” Makoto laughs. But Haru doesn’t smile back. His eyebrows gather together and his gaze turns glassy, before he drops it to the floor. He pulls away.

“Is it… difficult… being with me?” His voice is meek. He knows it must be hard on Makoto. Makoto isn’t the one wired wrong. He is.

“What?” Makoto gasps. He places his hands tenderly on either side of Haru’s face.

“It’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done.” And he kisses Haru sweetly. Haru can feel tears prickle at his eyes. He doesn’t deserve Makoto. There’s no way he can. But he lets himself pull him close and monopolize him whilst he can. He’s furious that he couldn’t find Makoto earlier in his life.

The day before their next gig, Gou slaps a large poster down on the table in the garage. The band stops their warm ups to look at it. It’s black, with an aggressive red font splashed across it.

“Oh no,” Rin croaks. It’s a ‘Battle of the bands’ poster.

“I entered you!” Gou cries. Rin groans.

“Whyyyyy?!”

Gou rolls her eyes. “You want exposure? You want money to buy more equipment? All your asses are broke.” She pointedly taps the poster. “Do well in this and we’ll get some money, and booking gigs will be easy.”

“Gou, this is just for fun! We’re not trying to get signed or anything.” Rin explains. He’s always had a very realistic view of his band. They would work hard, and they would do their best, but for themselves and their audience. Not to do this for a living. Makoto was going to be a teacher, Haru was going to be an illustrator, Rei would probably invent a cost effective bio-fuel in a few years, and Nagisa … well he’d probably fall into some odd job or another.

“But Rin…” Gou smiles devilishly. She still has one trump card to play. “If you win…. You get to win”. It’s stupid, but Rin actually hesitates. He hadn’t thought about that before. The idea of being named “best” was addictive to him, and winning was something of a hobby for Rin.

“I dooooo like to win.” He thoughtfully scratches his chin.

“He’s gone.” Haru mumbles. Rin then slams his fist onto the table.

“Alright! We’ll do it!” He proclaims. His mouth is spread into an excited grin.

Haru crosses his arms and shakes his head.

“Good, then you should use tomorrow’s gig as a chance to practice for it and work on your weaknesses.”

Rei blusters and looks offended.

“Weaknesses?!”

Gou boops him on the nose. “Calm down, there’s not a lot. Your playing’s fine you just need….” She wiggles her fingers, searching for the word. “Presence!” She whispers.

“Presence?” Rin, the most charismatic performer of them all, scoffs. Gou ignores him and points at Makoto.

“You! Naïve boy next door!” Makoto looks from side to side, hoping Gou might be talking to someone else.

“Me?” He squeaks.

“Get sexy!” She demands. “Your performance and energy are there, but you need a better wardrobe. And don’t be afraid to interact with the other band members. Touch someone’s butt! Whatever you have to do.”

Makoto looks at Haru like he wants to throw up.

“You!” Gou points at her brother now. “Make this boy over. He’s too cute and wide-eyed to be a sexual fantasy yet.”

Rin looks annoyed at being ordered around, until his eyes trace over Makoto. Oh yeah. He could work with this. He sneers.

“I can do that.”

Makoto swallows.

Makoto begrudgingly shows up to Rin’s place the next day. It’s late afternoon, two hours before the gig. Haru stands supportively at his side.

“You don’t have to do this.” He reassures. Makoto sighs.

“I know. It could be fun though, right?” Makoto, ever the optimist. “Like dressing up?”

Haru hums and they knock on the front door. It feels weird to not go through the garage. Sousuke answers it and smirks.

“Ahhhh, the victim has arrived.” Makoto pales. He follows Sousuke into the house and up to Rin’s room. Rin stands shirtless in just a pair of black skinny jeans. There are leather shiny panels sewn into the outside and inside of his thighs. He stares down at his bed where he’s spread a multitude of other garments.

“Strip.” He doesn’t even look at Makoto when he comes into the room.

“Excuse me?!” Makoto’s voice breaks.

“C’mon Makoto. You gotta get changed. Shirts off, pants off, let’s go.”

Sousuke sits on the bed, looking like he’s enjoying a good dose of schadenfreude. Makoto isn’t ashamed of his body. Eight years of swim clubs broke him of that, but he’s never exactly had an audience. His hands shake the tiniest bit as he takes off his glasses and hands them to Haru. He then slips off his t-shirt and kicks off his pants. He’s left standing only in his boxer briefs.

“What the fuck, Makoto.” Sousuke spits at Makoto in annoyance.

“He’s hot right?” Rin smirks.

“How… where…?!” Sousuke isn’t trying to hide how he gawks at Makoto. Clearly this kid worked out. Hell he could be an underwear model if he was so inclined.

“Stop wearing flannels. Immediately!” Sousuke orders. Because it’s obviously such a waste. Finally Haru steps forward.

“Give my boyfriend some damn pants.” His glare is murderous. Makoto covers his chest and nods.

“Alright, alright.” Rin sighs. He grabs a pair of black jeans, similar to his own, and tosses them at Makoto. Instead of dark leather panels though, these jeans have metallic silver panels sewn into the thighs and down the calves. Makoto holds them up.

“Rin, You’re skinnier than me. I dunno if…”

“They’re mine.” Sousuke interrupts. “We’re about the same size.” Sousuke scans Makoto again and laughs. “Apparently”.

Makoto pulls the pants on and they’re much tighter than anything he’s worn before. He feels like his butt is barely contained, and they sit low on his hips.

“Is this how they’re supposed to sit?” He tries to pull them up.

“Ohhhh yeah.” Rin laughs. He passes Makoto a fitted tank top and a short leather vest, where the inside is lined with a bright green and black graffiti print. It peeks out when Makoto moves his arms. Makoto looks at himself in the mirror and has to admit that he does look a bit sharper. His arms are completely exposed, while the tank and vest show off his narrow waist.

“Alright… ok…” Makoto nods. “So done now?”

Rin’s grin is frightening.

“Oh nooooo.” He pulls out a swivel chair and points to it. “Have a seat.” Makoto doesn’t move until Rin points at the chair again. He shuffles over to the chair and sits.

Rin rummages in a drawer of his dresser and pulls out a small, fabric bag. He walks back over to Makoto and stops in front of him.

“It’s easiest if I sit on your lap for this. Don’t get weird, ok?”

“Uh…what…?”

Rin straddles Makoto and perches on his knees. Makoto looks at Sousuke guiltily.

“You’re fine.” He smiles.

Makoto watches Rin pull a small bottle out of his bag and he pours a beige liquid onto his fingers. Makoto watches him then exclaims when Rin puts the liquid on his face.

“A…Are you putting makeup on me?!”

“Not a lot. Calm down. It’s just to give a good base for you eyeliner and eyeshadow to sit on.” Rin rubs the foundation in.

“Excuse me?” Makoto squeaks.

Sousuke and Rin laugh. Even Haru has stepped closer to watch his boyfriend be assaulted. Rin finishes rubbing in the foundation and applies a layer of setting powder. He delicately applies dark grey around and underneath Makoto’s eyes. He then blends in a bit of bit of green to match Makoto’s irises.

“Ok, this is where shit gets weird.” Rin warns.

“Shit already got weird.” Makoto mumbles. Rin pulls out an eyeliner pencil and works at Makoto’s waterline.

“Holy fuck!” Makoto actually swears. He blinks furiously and wills the tears away. “That feels awful!”

“Stop crying! Man up!” Rin finishes the left eye and starts on the right. When he finishes, he pulls away to admire his work. It’s not an overwhelming amount of makeup. Just enough to make Makoto look less fresh-faced and bring out his bright eyes and strong jawline. Rin clambers off of his lap. Makoto stands and tries not to cry from all the prodding his eyes have just received. But then he looks over at his boyfriend, and Haru sympathetically grabs his hand.

“How’s he look, Haru?” Rin asks confidently.

Haru pans his eyes over Makoto, before settling on his now dazzling eyes.

“You are very aesthetically pleasing.”

Makoto lets out a barking laugh, then leans forward to kiss Haru on the cheek.

“That’s how Haru tells me I’m cute.” He explains.

“Romantic.” Rin deadpans.

They show up to the bar together, where Rei and Nagisa are already waiting. They appear to have put more effort into their appearance as well. Rei looks impeccable as always, but his tweed jacket is brightly collared and fitted to his body nicely. He wears a plain black collared shirt and dark pants underneath it. Nagisa somehow managed to find a pair of boys shorts that were… well it was impressive that they managed to conceal his whole butt. He pairs them with a white t-shirt, rainbow suspenders and pink lenseless glasses. Rin had leant Haru a navy blue, military style jacket, before settling on a vest with a fur lined hood for himself. He wears a fistful of necklaces, but no shirt.

“Whoaaaa Mako-chan, you look different.” Nagisa appraises Rin’s work. “You look like a rock star now.” He laughs. Makoto shrinks underneath the praise, but thanks him.

Rei and Rin finish setting up their equipment and the band run through a couple of chords to warm up. Nagisa does a couple of drum rolls and beats to make sure his hands are working like he wants them to. Makoto goes into the bar owner’s office to warm up his voice and go over scales.

“You ready, Makoto?” Gou pokes her head in. Makoto nods and follows her out. The bar is still hot, and Makoto still averts his eyes from the people who are obviously checking him out, but he also recognizes the thrum of anticipation. He steps onto the stage and the hushed silence welcomes him. His hands shake in excitement. He touches the microphone and his face breaks into a toothpaste-selling smile.

“Thank you all for coming.” He says, too politely. His gentle voice juxtaposed with his rough appearance immediately grabs people’s attention.

“Work it boy-next-door.” Gou smiles from her corner next to Sousuke.

“I’m Makoto Tachibana, and we are Future Fish.” Makoto continues. Rin immediately launches into a guitar riff and Nagisa counts them into their first song.

The thrill of performing once again courses through Makoto’s veins, and he slips into the persona of lead singer much easier this time. He confidently struts around the stage, dragging the microphone stand with him. He easily gets the audience engaged and clapping in time with the music. Rin is in his element. He runs his tongue over his teeth and has no qualms about creating sexual tension between he and Makoto when Makoto comes over to sing with him. He bends his knees and positions his guitar suggestively, whilst leaning into Makoto with half lidded eyes. When Makoto leaves to go back to center stage, Rin winks at several girls in the front row. They look way too into it. Nagisa as well appears to be having fun, ditching his stool during one song and bopping around playfully while he drums. His blonde curls bounce and his mostly naked legs attract some attention as he kicks them around. Rei is still intensely focused, but he bops to the music and smiles and nods at the audience members who shout at him.

Haru is not focused on the audience at all. He’s pretty much forgotten that they’re there. Instead his gaze sits solely on Makoto, who has the room eating out of his hands. He smiles at the way Makoto lights up like a firework, and moves around the stage like electricity. He’s magnetic and alluring. Makoto’s stopped being self conscious about the way people are looking at him, and is starting to appeal to it. He runs his hands through his hair and gives the audience heated looks. Haru stares in wonder, admiring the way his jeans fit his long, muscular legs, and the way his shirt rides up when he lifts his arms to expose his hip bones and naval. His biceps flex when he aggressively grabs the microphone stand. Haru lets out a gasp when Makoto runs one of his hands down his stomach and swivels his hips.

Haru recognizes that the ache in his body when he watches Makoto has changed. It’s usually filled with warmth and pride. It’s a kind of love and admiration that makes his heart ache. The kind of comfort that one feels when they see someone they care about excelling. ….

But this feels different. This is a throbbing that constricts his chest and makes his breath come in short gasps. His face and body don’t just feel warm. They are burning. His tongue feels dry, but then he feels like there is an excess of saliva in his mouth. The ache sits lower in his body. Not in his chest, but in his lower abdomen. It scratches at him like hunger. Haru continues to watch Makoto with his mouth parted in shallow breaths. Makoto glances over his shoulder at him, sending him a wink. His neck and chest gleam with sweat. Haru wonders what it would be like to taste it.

…What?

He’s starting to panic. He’s starting to register what this aching in his body is. He wants to scream because this isn’t supposed to happen. This is NOT supposed to happen. He’s had decades to come to terms with the fact that this cannot and will never happen to him. Makoto then grabs the microphone stand and begins to grind against it obscenely. The hunger in Haru’s body drops noticeably southward, and he wonders if the audience’s screams would be enough to drown out his panicked shouts.

Why. WHY. WHY NOW?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

The song ends. They’ve only got one more left and Rei moves off of his post to set up a microphone in front of Haru. Oh no. Makoto drags his microphone stand closer to Haru. He can feel the heat radiating off of Makoto’s skin, smell his sweat, and hear his breathing. He’s catching his breath after the last song. Makoto quickly takes a swig from a bottle of water. Haru is mesmerized by a droplet of water that travels down his lips.

“You ready, Haru?” He asks gently. No. No. Haru is not ready. He wants to lock himself in a cupboard and scream. He wants to pound his head against the wall and cry, because his body is body is on fire and he doesn’t know what’s happening to him.

But he nods. He hears the clack of Nagisa’s drumsticks counting them in. His instincts take over and he starts to pluck his guitar and sing. The crowd goes completely silent when the notes leave his mouth. Haru has never sung in public before, so it’s doubtful that any of their regular audience members even knew he could sing. It’s going well, just like in rehearsal… until Makoto joins in. He’s close to Haru, so close. And the words he sings, the words that Haru wrote, are too sincere and sweet. They fall like honey from his mouth and Haru wants only to lean forward and lap them up. His breath becomes uneven again, and his voice becomes breathier and more vulnerable. It ends up making the duet sound more emotional. The audience eats it up. Makoto steps closer and begins to graze his forehead along Haru’s. Their noses touch. Makoto’s laugh rumbles underneath his singing voice and he can’t contain the joy that shines from his smile. Haru looks up at him with dark eyes. His pupils are blown. Every touch from Makoto rouses the storm inside him and he simultaneously wants to shove him away and pull him against his body. He’s barely managing to pluck his bass in time with the music. The song finally begins to slow, and it’s just Makoto’s melodic voice singing out, accompanied by Rin’s strumming. Makoto cups Haru’s face gently and leans in to kiss him on the final note. The audience whoops and screams, but Haru can’t hear them. Because he’s groaning into Makoto’s mouth and all the blood in his face runs south. His eyes flash wide and he yanks himself backward. Before the audience can stop their clapping, he’s thrown his bass to the ground with a clang and leapt off the stage. He tears through the crowd. Makoto, shocked at the reaction, makes to go after him, but a strong grip grabs his arm.

“Thank your audience. Say goodnight. Finish your job first.” Sousuke murmurs next to his ear. He waves at Rin to go after Haru.

“He’ll check on him. Don’t worry.”

Rin moves through the crowd with his legs feeling like jelly. Several people try to grab him and shout questions at him, but he uses his broad shoulders to barge past. He runs through the “staff only” door Haru sprinted through moments before, and slows to a jog. He isn’t sure where Haru’s gone. He doubts he’d go to Seijuuro’s office, or to the kitchen. Rin walks into the employee bathrooms. There are only three cubicles, but sure enough one of them is locked. He walks up to the door and knocks on it. He can hear laboured breathing, but there’s no answer. He knocks again.

“Haru?”

“I’m fine.” Is the stern reply. Rin rolls his eyes.

“Haru, let me in.” There’s a pause and some rustling.

“I…is Makoto with you?” His voice sounds ragged. The question surprises Rin. Why would Makoto’s presence matter?

“No?”

There’s some rustling before the cubicle door is unlocked and opened. Haru sits on top of the toilet seat. He’s shaking and his face is flushed. He’s tucked his knees into his chest. Rin’s face creases with panic at the sight. He walks into the cubicle, but then closes the door and locks it behind him. Something is very wrong.

“What’s going on?” He whispers. Haru just shakes his head.

“Haru…” He presses his hand to his forehead. He’s sweating and hot. “Are you sick. Do you wanna throw up?”

Haru laughs darkly. God did he want to throw up. But he knows that won’t solve his problem. His eyes begin to turn glassy. Rin is really freaked now.

“Haru! You have to tell me! I can’t do shit if I don’t know!” Rin starts to pull at his hair. Haru closes his eyes and the tears flow down his cheeks. But he knows Rin needs to know. Rin’s always been there for him. He’s always looked out for him and guided him through the confusing times in his youth. He’s been an anchor for Haru. If anyone can help him, it would be Rin. Haru sighs, then slowly lowers his feet to the floor. He keeps his eyes closed and he tightly grips his knees. Rin doesn’t notice it at first. He’s too distracted by Haru crying and his body shaking, but then his eyes fall to Haru’s lap.

“A… Are you hard right now?!” His voice breaks. Haru covers his face and nods. He tries to wipe away tears, but he hiccups and they just keep coming.

“Well that’s…” Rin looks at him, perplexed. He even laughs. “Haru, you’ve been hard before. I know you have. I’ve walked in on you…” But then he freezes. He’d seen the duet on stage. He’d seen how receptive Haru had looked. Is Makoto with you? The question resurfaces. He covers his mouth and gasps.

“D…Did…Did Makoto make you feel like this?” He whispers. Haru pitches forward and sobs. He nods through the hands that cover his face. Rin lets out a long exhale and his shoulders slump. He steps forwards to touch Haru’s shoulder.

“I don’t understand.” Haru’s voice is broken. He pulls his hands away to reveal red rimmed eyes.

“Haru, it’s…”

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND!” He lashes out. His legs and arms flail, kicking and punching the sides of the cubicles. A bin goes flying and Rin has to jump out of the way. Haru’s chest heaves. He shrinks into himself again and sobs loudly. Rin kneels on the dirty floor in front of him. He soothingly rubs his thigh.

“What’s wrong with me?” Haru whispers.

“Nothing!” Rin coos.

“Then why! WHY?! MY WHOLE LIFE… I’VE WANTED TO BE NORMAL! BUT I COULDN’T!” He slams his hands into the cubicle wall again. It shakes.

“AND I FINALLY… I WAS FINALLY OKAY WITH IT! I FINALLY ACCEPTED IT!” Haru pulls at his hair and begins to scratch at his chest. Rin grabs his hands and holds his wrists tightly. Haru screeches and tries to pull them back, but Rin is stronger. He finally lets out a frustrated scream, then crashes against Rin’s chest.

“I finally found someone.” He sniffs. “So why… was it all for nothing?” His voice cracks. Rin lets go of his wrists and holds him around the shoulders. He soothingly runs a hand through Haru’s hair and makes shushing noises.

“No, no, Haru. Sometimes things just change. It’s ok.”

“It’s been so hard.” Haru cries. And Rin knows. He had been there the whole time after all. He’d seen the people walk in and out of Haru’s life, like he was a product that didn’t behave the way they wanted. He’d gotten the text messages on the lonely nights and watched Haru close himself off to those around him. But Haru always acted unfazed. Like it didn’t bother him. He’s never admitted to the challenge before.

“I know.” Rin whispers. He squeezes Haru closer to him. “I know.”

Haru shudders and wraps his arms around Rin’s waist.

“I love him so much.”

Rin stiffens at the confession. Then he softens and smiles. He pushes Haru back by the shoulders. Haru is limp and his head falls forward.

“Ok, Haru. Calm down. We can get through this.” Haru barely lifts his head to look at Rin. Rin smiles reassuringly at him and lets out a clipped chuckle. “Wanting to bang your boyfriend is hardly the worst thing that’s happened to you.” Rin stands and crosses his arms over his chest.

“Remember in year 8? And we had that class camping trip and you threw up on the teacher? That was waaaay worse than this.”

Haru glares at Rin, but he’s stopped shaking. His tears have slowed as well.

“You’re the worst.” He shakes his head. Rin grins and shakes Haru lightly by the shoulders.

“I’m also your best friend, you dickhead.” And he laughs. He crouches in front of Haru again and holds him so he can not shatter. Until the tears have dried on his face and the panic fades away.