Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Dear Aventurine, once again, thank you very much for today, I really enjoyed our meal. I am sorry to bother you again, but there is another favour I would like to ask of you. Would you perchance be willing to play my boyfriend one last time?”

The message reaches Aventurine when he is back home in his apartment, alone with his cat cakes and his violently spinning thoughts. 

Today has been a lot for him. He had been so nervous when Ratio had invited him to celebrate his birthday with him. As “Aventurine”, he has never spent a birthday with somebody close to him - because there has never been anybody close to him. Heck, he has not even spent his own birthday with anybody, because Aventurine of Stratagems does not have a birthday. He’s an IPC tool, and tools don’t celebrate their birthdays!

He has really racked his brain about what to give to Ratio, and it has not even occurred to him that his gift might have been too much. Ratio is a special man, and he deserves a special gift, so Aventurine still is unsure if he has really done too much. To him, it feels reasonable. Money is no issue for him, and the preparation of the gift was fun, so he does not really see a problem. But Ratio’s reaction… 

The moment Ratio took his hand and kissed it, Aventurine’s heart was about to stop beating in his chest. Or was it about to jump out instead? He cannot even tell. Being treated so gently by this man had completely overwhelmed him, and it had shown him an unsettling truth about his own feelings - one he simply refuses to think about any further.

If he now thinks about all of this just a single step further, Aventurine will not be able to answer the doctor’s newest message - and he wants to answer it. He needs to. And soon, too, because a gambler like him does not hesitate. It is suspicious and out of character. However, this time it is hard.

“One last time” is what Ratio has written. 

So their little game is actually coming to an end.

That’s fine, he thinks. He has had his fun with the doctor, hasn't he? And it means that the tight feeling in his chest will finally go away.

He will look back at this and laugh about it. He just needs a little time.

Right?

“Sure thing. When do you need me?” he finally replies to Ratio’s message - only to find out that this time, all of this is much bigger than he has expected. 

Ratio gets him with his car a few weeks later. Aventurine has never seen him drive, but he likes being his co-driver. He looks so serious and focused, and he is wearing his glasses. They suit him so well. Also, the whole car smells like Ratio, and somehow, this seems to be a deeply reassuring scent to Aventurine. On a longer drive, he is sure that he would fall asleep soundly in no time.

However, it is only a short drive, because their destination is the nearby space station. Ratio has invited him to accompany him to another planet - his home planet - to spend the change of the years with him and his parents - as his boyfriend. For some reason, this feels like a bigger role to play for Aventurine than the one he has performed at the Grand Theater in Penacony.

Somehow, Ratio seems to sense his nervousness: “Thank you very much for joining me. Please rest assured that there is no need to be nervous. You already know my mother, and my father is a friendly man as well. They always joke about how my curtness seems out of place in the whole family. When looking at genetics, this trait of mine seems to be unexplainable to everyone.”

Upon hearing those words, Aventurine finds himself wondering if Ratio already used to be the way he is now when he was a child. Looking back at his own childhood, leaving aside all the sad things, he has to admit that he has always had a thing for gambling. Like back then, when he made a bet with those bastards who had taken his sister’s jewelry… Anyway, the thought of a small version of Ratio, already as brilliant as he is now, scolding grown-ups for their stupidity, puts a smile on Aventurine’s face.

Unfortunately, they do not have the time to dwell on the subject much longer, for the space station is already in sight. Ratio parks the car, they grab their luggage from the trunk and check in to their spaceship. Just about three system hours later, they arrive at Ratio’s home planet.

Aventurine has never been here before, and since it is the doctor’s home, he soaks in everything around him like a sponge while they are in the taxi taking them to Ratio’s parents.

It is obviously a wealthy planet, full of nice quarters with pretty family homes that could come straight out of an estate agent’s catalogue. White facades, decorative pillars in front of cozy terraces, tiny fences separating well-maintained gardens from the clean and quiet streets. Everything speaks of a peaceful life, and somehow, Aventurine likes the idea that this has been the place where a mind as brilliant, as eccentric and as inconvenient as the one of Doctor Veritas Ratio has been able to form. Just like Aventurine himself, he must have learned a thing or two about being a nuisance to the people around him on his way to where he is now.

“Care to share your thoughts?” Ratio’s clear voice startles Aventurine from his musings.

“Ah, I just found myself wondering how you ever fit into a place as… uhm… square as this.” he admits, trying his best not to choose any words that could be able to offend. ‘Home’ is a sensitive topic after all. Aventurine knows this very well.

However, Ratio immediately seems to understand, for he gives him a little smile before answering: “Want to make an educated guess why I left my parent's house the moment I had finished school? Which was pretty early, by the way.”

They both chuckle at this, but fall silent soon after, both caught up in their own thoughts.

After a while. Aventurine decides to share a little more of what is on his mind: “Would you mind telling me something about your father? I thought it might have been rude to just look him up in the IPC information network, given he’s your family, but now I feel bad knowing nothing at all…”

In return, Ratio throws him a strange look, and Aventurine immediately starts to wonder if looking up information about people before you meet them is not a normal thing to do. He always does it with his business partners.

In the end, Aventurine does not find out what is on Ratio’s mind, for he just starts to fill him in: “My father’s name is Clementius. I doubt you would have been able to find much about him in the IPC’s data. He used to be a literature professor and has worked at this planet’s university for his whole worklife. We actually don't have much in common, but I guess you could say that he was the one who awakened the love for books in me.”

That’s a nice thought, Aventurine thinks as he thanks Ratio for the information. There is not much more time for small talk, for the taxi driver - a robot looking like a very old-fashioned chauffeur, with a suit and a hat and white gloves and everything - announces that they have reached their destination. Aventurine feels his heart sink, just a little. Before he leaves the taxi, he briefly reaches for his neck to make sure the turtleneck he has chosen for today really covers his whole slave mark. It does, but he has to realize that it helps less than anticipated with suppressing his anxiety about not being good enough for all of this.

To Aventurine, who has little to no memory of his parents, it is fascinating to find out that at first glance, the love for books really seems to be the only thing Clementius Ratio has passed on to his son. He is an unobtrusive man, tall and slim like a young tree, with his grey hair and the thick glasses he needs for reading the only things betraying his age. He is polite and attentive and seems to avoid any topic which might cause disharmony. He is the polar opposite of his son, but Aventurine cannot help but like him and his calm and well-mannered ways.

Still, the whole situation is extremely weird. They are sitting around the kitchen table, talking and enjoying the meal Clementius has cooked, and Aventurine feels tense for so, so many reasons.

What if Ratio’s parents ask about his background? His education? What if he says something stupid, exposing the lie of him and Ratio being a couple? 

It is strange. Aventurine is a skilled liar, it has always been a crucial skill for his survival. Why should he fail just now? And why does he fear the thought so much? It is not like his life is on the line this time, like it has been so many times in the past.

He finds out the answer the hard way, when his luck is running out and Ratio’s parents seem to have read his mind to ask all the questions he has feared to hear so much.

“My son has told me that you are a Senior Manager working for the IPC?” Clementius asks, and although there is no judgment in his tone, Aventurine starts to feel wary. The IPC is seen as a controversial company throughout the whole cosmos, after all. Still, he has no chance but to agree - it is true, after all, and he refuses to outright lie to these kind people more than he has already done the moment he suggested that little game all those months ago.

“That’s a huge career for a man as young as you are!” Clementius praises him, and Aventurine shyly thanks him.

“May I ask you where you learned your profession?” Ratio’s father continues to question him, and although Aventurine is sure that he has no bad intentions, this leads the conversation into dangerous terrain.

“I guess you could say it was learning by doing.” he tries to wiggle his way out of this. “I just got the chance to join the IPC and managed to make a name for myself pretty soon.”

“I see.” Clementius nods, but he is obviously not content with this answer: “But then, what did you study? Are you from a completely different field of expertise?”

Aventurine casts a slightly desperate glance at Ratio next to him. He does not know what he is supposed to say, and Ratio knows that he has not received any formal education.

“Aventurine has not been to any university, father. The IPC is a modern company and values talents from every walk of life.” Ratio explains, and Aventurine is stunned how positive he can make it sound with his choice of words. Although he usually does not make a secret of his background, he would have been too embarrassed to outright say the truth right here and now. It is just too obvious how much Ratio’s parents value traditional education.

They drop the topic and engage in some small talk, but when Aventurine is finally starting to feel safe again, it is Ratio’s mother who brings up the next problematic topic:

“I just noticed that Veritas never told us where you come from. Your eyes are so unique, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a pretty colour anywhere else! Is it a common trait of your family, or even your home planet?”

Aventurine hates his eyes, and as usual, they do nothing but betray him.

Once again, he gives Ratio a helpless look. The doctor has not told his parents about Aventurine’s origins, so that means he does not want them to know, right?

To his surprise, Ratio just gives him an encouraging nod: “I wanted to leave this decision up to you, so I did not tell them anything.”

Oh no.

Aventurine’s hands start to sweat. This is a high-stake gamble, but none of those he enjoys. He desperately wants to clutch the chip in his pocket in his fist, but it would be too suspicious to move his hand from the table right now. So instead, he grabs the half full glass of water in front of him and stares down at the little waves his trembling hands cause on the surface.

“I was born on Sigonia-IV.” he admits. With Ratio’s parents being just as well-educated as their son, he has little hope that the planet’s name won’t ring any bells, so he decides he might as well deliver the final blow against himself out of his own volition:

“As an Avgin.”

After that, there is silence in the room, and Aventurine prepares himself for the usual slurs. ‘Avgin scum’, ‘sleeky bastard’, ‘ragtag’ - he has heard them all, countless times, and although he used to think that he has grown numb to them, he is not so sure in this situation. It is fatal, but he has allowed himself to like those people and made himself vulnerable.

It is Callista who catches herself first. Aventurine flinches when he suddenly senses a warm touch of slim and warm fingers on his own hands, and he cannot even hide his body's reaction because it almost sends the glass he is clinging to flying.

Ratio’s mother is now fully encircling Aventurine’s hands, which feel cold from his own anxiety, with her own, and when he looks up in surprise and their eyes meet, he sees no resentment in hers:

“I cannot believe Veritas did not tell us something so crucial - our questions must have been so obtrusive to you!”, she says, and her voice sounds genuinely compassionate. Aventurine feels at a loss for words.

“We followed the news back then. It was unbelievable to us what they did to your people, a true shame for humanity.” Clementius adds. However, he has another question, and when his curiosity finally gets the better of him and he actually asks it, this is the first time Aventurine understands that he and his son are not as different from each other as they might think they are:

“Forgive me if I’m too nosy with this, but I cannot help but wonder: the IPC clearly had a hand in all of this - so how did you end up working for them, of all people?”

The question is so straight-forward, so logical and so relatable, and yet nobody has ever asked it before - has ever dared to ask it, be it out of disinterest or pity - not even the doctor.

“Father!” Ratio says, his voice stern.

“Clementius!” Callista scolds, almost at the same time, and Aventurine understands that Ratio’s father is even less capable of restraining his curiosity than his son. It is a quite fascinating realization, and one that briefly distracts him from his unwillingness to come up with a reply. Not even Ratio knows the whole story of how he joined the IPC, and he does not want to share this with his whole family at the kitchen table.

In the end, he decides to give the most superficial answer he can come up with: “It was a chance I was unable to refuse, and I don’t regret that I took it.” he says. It is not a lie, but it certainly leaves out half of the truth - the part where he would be dead by now if he had not made his little gamble with Jade back then. Which he obviously cannot tell Ratio's parents right now, because it would make it necessary to explain why there was a death sentence against him in the first place… 

His life’s story, Aventurine once again realizes, is like a minefield full of subjects he cannot speak about without appearing like a - potentially dangerous - freak to others, with Ratio himself being the one exception because somehow, he never judges him the way others do. That's also the reason why Aventurine is now once again doing his best to save this situation: he just cannot stand the thought of messing up and causing the doctor any unnecessary trouble - not after being given the honour of doing him such a personal favour in the first place.

“I mean, I never would have gotten the chance to meet your son if it wasn’t for the IPC!” he says enthusiastically, a final desperate attempt to change the subject to a lighter topic.

Luckily, it works, and the rest of the evening is just nice and harmless small talk. He learns a lot of stories about Ratio’s childhood, leading him to the conclusion that he must have been an adorable child - clever and stubborn, sweet and determined at the same time - and almost gets his mother to show him old pictures of the doctor. Unfortunately, Ratio stops her from doing it.

However, when they finally say goodnight to each other, Aventurine feels exhausted. He is tired from all the uncomfortable questions, and he feels cheap and dirty for lying to these beautiful people in the first place. They have welcomed him to their family, treated him with so much warmth and respect - and he has repaid it with nothing but lies and concealed truths. He is an impostor, in every aspect. A man without education, working for the company which is responsible for his own people’s genocide. A man pretending to be their precious son’s boyfriend, when - in reality - he is nothing to him at all.

He understands this when they are standing alone in Ratio’s room, and Ratio suggests that Aventurine can have the bed while he will sleep on the sofa. It is unreasonable, for Aventurine is so much smaller than Ratio, making it much more comfortable for him to use the sofa instead. However, when he thinks about it, he realizes that this is not the problem at all. He does not want to sleep on the bed when Ratio sleeps on the sofa and he does not want to sleep on the sofa when Ratio sleeps on the bed. Should Ratio decide to sleep on the fucking carpet, it is exactly there Aventurine wants to sleep, too. In the end, he never wanted to play Ratio’s boyfriend - he wanted to be his boyfriend all along.

The realization scares Aventurine for so many reasons.

“I…I’m so sorry, Ratio.” he stutters. “I need some fresh air.” 

And with this cowardly excuse, he storms out of the room and flees the house, aimlessly running into the completely unfamiliar, nightly town.

It is a stupid idea, of course. Aventurine does not know this place, and he pays the direction he is heading to no attention. Only when he is starting to feel a little out of breath does he stop to take a look around. 

The area does not look much different from the one the house of Ratio's family is located, and Aventurine immediately understands that he might have trouble finding his way back. 

However, right now that does not matter, because he has no intentions of going back any time soon. He takes a look up into the sky. There are no stars. The only thing he can see is the little cloud his breath is forming when he is breathing. It reminds him of what Ratio told him about his home planet. Apparently, it used to be unfit for human life before they built a whole artificial atmosphere, meaning that the sky here is nothing but fake. A planet under a giant cheese dome was how Ratio had tried to explain it to him with a comparison. Back then, Aventurine had laughed, but now he feels sulky: why the fuck create such a cold night when you could easily settle for a nice and warm climate all year round? He is only wearing a thin shirt, his jacket is still hanging on the coat rack in the house he stormed out of a few minutes ago. Ratio would surely scold him for being careless once again. 

Stop, he tells himself. Ratio here, Ratio there. There seems to be nothing else on his mind. Wasn't he just trying to get away from him just minutes ago? Is he an idiot?

Obviously, he blames himself. In the distance, he sees a place which looks different from all the houses around and decides to go there and check it out. It turns out to be a playground. 

Why not?, he thinks and enters it by hopping over the tiny fence which is separating it from the outer world.