Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Wow, you're actually admitting you have a crush?" You Zhangjing smirked at Mubo, making Mubo immediately regret telling him about his recent realization.

"This is big," Li Junyi commented. "I thought we never see the day when you admitted that you have a crush. On a rapper none the less."

After a few painful days after he'd realized that he had a crush on Qin Fen, he'd decided that he needed to tell someone before it drove him crazy.

Well, crazier.

He'd considered telling Peiyao, Zimo and Zuo Ye before deciding that that probably was a terrible idea. They would just make his life insufferable.

Well, more insufferable.

So, he'd decided to tell Zhangjing and Junyi, two of his friends that also studied classical music, both singers.

"What has him being a rapper has to do with anything?" Mubo said and took a sip of his coffee.

"It's just unexpected," Junyi said with a shrug.

"Zhangjing's boyfriend is a literature major who likes to tell lame jokes and flirts with everything," Mubo commented.

"Hey, what does my boyfriend has to do with this?" Zhangjing exclaimed.

"It's just unexpected that you would fall for someone like that. He doesn't seem like your type," Mubo shrugged.

"I've seen Qin Fen, he doesn't seem like your type either," Junyi said and raised his eyebrows.

"I would've thought so too, but here we are," Mubo sighed.

He tried to convince himself that maybe he'd been wrong, just caught up in the moment, maybe he didn't have a crush on Qin Fen. But the next time he met the rapper he'd gotten butterflies in his stomach. Goddamn butterflies. Like some high school kid who had their first crush.

Not to mention that he couldn't stop thinking about holding the other's hand again. Which probably just showed who far gone he was. He'd thought about kissing Qin Fen and doing… other stuff, of course, but he always came back to the hand-holding. How he felt anchored down by holding the other's hand. He wanted that feeling again.

But he wasn't sure that Qin Fen wanted it. He'd been a bit off since the movie night, not quite meeting Mubo's eyes and staying far away from any physical contact. It hurt. Maybe he'd guessed what Mubo felt for him and this was his way of saying that he didn't feel the same. Even if it had been him who'd grasped Mubo's hand first. But he had probably just done that at the moment, seeking some sort of comfort from the movie, and then Mubo had gone and intertwined their fingers.

"So, what are you going to do about this revelation of yours?" Zhangjing asked and gave Mubo a piercing look.

"Nothing," Mubo said immediately. Then he continued before Zhangjing could protest. "You guys are coming to the party next week, right?"

"Absolutely. I wouldn't miss baby Ye's birthday for anything in the world," Junyi said. 

"Yes, I'll be there. And Yanjun of course," Zhangjing said with his signature smile. Then it turned into a smirk. "Will Qin Fen be there?"

"… yes."

-

Even if things had become a bit awkward between them the last couple of days, they still needed to work on their project. And they did. Maybe Mubo was imagining things, but it felt like Qin Fen in moments forgot that he was supposed to keep some distance between himself and Mubo. He'd talked about stuff like normal and sat maybe a bit closer than just friends, but then suddenly he moved away again with an awkward smile and didn't dare to meet Mubo's eyes for the rest of their study session.

"Fen?" Mubo said and broke the silence that was between them.

"Mm?" Qin Fen hummed without looking up from his computer.

"Could you do me a favor?" Mubo braced himself for Qin Fen's reaction.

The other turned around with a surprised look. "Sure, what do you need?" He almost looked a little bit expectant.

"Could you introduce me to Cai Xukun?"

Qin Fen looked even more surprised by his request. "Um, why?"

"Remember how I once said that maybe I should introduce Zuo Ye to Cai Xukun as a birthday gift? I didn't really mean it then, but then I thought about it again and thought why not? So, I thought that maybe I could ask him if he wants to come to the party?" Mubo said quickly. He didn't know why this made him so nervous. Maybe it was because the calculating look Qin Fen was giving him.

"What do you think?" Mubo added when Qin Fen didn't immediately answer.

"Yeah, absolutely, we can always go and ask," Qin Fen finally answered. He almost seemed a bit disappointed, for whatever reason. But at least he said ‘we'. Small victories.

"Right now?" Mubo asked when Qin Fen got up.

"Why not? He's probably in his studio now," Qin Fen said with a shrug.

"Oh, okay then."

Mubo was very close to asking what was going on inside Qin Fen's head as they walked over to Cai Xukun's studio (because apparently, he got his own ("Well, technically it isn't his, but nobody else uses it since it's ‘his'")). But he held his tongue.

Qin Fen stopped in front of a door and knocked before he stuck his head inside the room.

"Yo, Xukun, got a minute?"

"Ah, Fen-ge, come in," came the answer from inside the room. Qin Fen gave Mubo a smile before he motioned him to follow him in.

The studio was nothing different from the one he and Qin Fen had been using, nothing to mark it out as Cai Xukun's. The man himself was not alone in there though. He was sitting in the lap of no one else than Wang Ziyi, Ziyi's hands resting comfortably on Xukun's thighs.

Xukun got up from Ziyi's lap as they entered, but he didn't seem embarrassed or anything, he just smiled at them. Seeing him up close Mubo had to admit that he was really handsome, and he could see why Zuo Ye liked him.

"What brings you guys over?" Xukun asked as he bro-hugged Qin Fen.

"My friend has a question for you," Qin Fen said with a gesture at Mubo who tried to not be awkward.

"Oh really?" Xukun said and turned to Mubo. He held out a hand. "Nice to meet you, I'm Cai Xukun."

Mubo took his hand. "I'm Han Mubo."

"And that's Wang Ziyi," Xukun added and pointed at Ziyi who gave a small wave.

"We have met," Ziyi said with a smile. Xukun looked a bit surprised between them.

"You have?"

"I brought him to a dance practice once," Qin Fen explained.

"Ah. I see. So, what can I help you with Mubo-ge?" Xukun said and nodded to them to take a seat in the small sofa that was placed next to the door. They sat down and Xukun moved back so he was leaning against the chair where Ziyi was still seated.

Mubo took a deep breath, he couldn't believe what he was about to ask of the other. This was so embarrassing. The things he did for his didis.

"One of my roommates is a big fan of yours. He literally never shuts up about you. It's his birthday soon, so I was wondering if you wanted to come to the party as a surprise gift?" Mubo said before he could change his mind and drag Qin Fen out of there, apologizing to Xukun and Ziyi for disturbing them, they were clearly busy.

"You're welcome too, of course," he added to Ziyi, who just looked amused.

Xukun laughed, Mubo guessed that was a good sign. At least he hadn't thrown them out for asking such a stupid thing.

"Really?" Xukun said, smiling widely like he couldn't believe it. "Did you hear that, Ziyi, I have a fan."

"I'm not the least surprised, you are amazing, Kunkun," Ziyi said with a fond smile. Xukun's face softened as he looked at Ziyi. Qin Fen actually had to cough to make them break eye contact with each other. Qin Fen and Mubo shared a knowing smile when both Xukun and Ziyi blushed.

"But yeah, sure, why not," Xukun said, obviously trying to ignore the fact that his face was red. "Sounds fun." He gave Mubo a bright smile.

"Be prepared for a lot of yelling. And maybe crying," Mubo warned him as he returned Xukun's smile.

"I think I can handle it," Xukun laughed. "You coming?" he added to Ziyi.

"Of course," Ziyi said and reached for Xukun's hand.

"Sorry if this is rude but is you guys…" Mubo blurted out before he could stop himself.

"Dating?" Xukun finished for him. "Yeah," he said with the softest smile Mubo had ever seen. The look Xukun and Ziyi shared were so full of love that Mubo had to look away.

"Okay, see you on Friday then," Qin Fen said maybe a little too loud and stood up. "We'll stop bothering you now."

"Oh. Sorry," Xukun said with a sheepish smile and turned away from Ziyi, the blush back on his cheeks. "See you then, we look forward to it."

"Thank you," Mubo said and followed Qin Fen out. "Bye."

He just managed to see Ziyi pull Xukun back into his lap, both of them smiling like fools before the door closed behind him.

"Thank you for that," Mubo said to Qin Fen as they made their way back to their studio.

"No problem," Qin Fen said, smiling, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Maybe it would be better at the party, they were both stressed, and they could need a good time. Yeah, that was it. At the party everything would be better.

-

"Is everyone ready?" Mubo shouted over the small crowd that had gathered in their apartment. Li Xikan - who was responsible for getting Zuo Ye to the party - had just texted him, saying that they were on their way. And that Zuo Ye still was clueless about what was about to go down.

Since his birthday had been in the middle of the week and Mubo, Peiyao and Zimo had baked him a cake and given him his presents then, he didn't suspect that they had also planned the party. Which was just perfect.

All of Zuo Ye's friends were there - and he had quite a lot Mubo had to confess. Qin Fen was also there since he'd become quite close with Mubo's three roommates during their project. Especially Peiyao it seemed like.

Peiyao had been by Qin Fen's shoulder since he'd arrived to help them decorate and set up for the party. He'd been awfully touchy as well, placing his hand on Qin Fen's shoulder, elbow and wrist all the time.

Mubo was well aware what Peiyao tried to do. He tried to get Mubo jealous to make him confess that he liked Qin Fen. Too bad for Peiyao that Mubo already had come to that conclusion and decided that he was just going to stick with being friends with the rapper. So, he wasn't too bothered by Peiyao's antics. It just stung a bit that Qin Fen seemed so okay with it.

And Mubo didn't seem to be the only one who was affected. Zimo had looked sourer the longer the day went and the more Peiyao only paid attention to Qin Fen. Mubo didn't think Peiyao even realized.

"They're on their way," Mubo continued and out down the last bowl of snacks on the table.

"Everybody hides!" Zimo exclaimed with an excited smile, which turned sour when Peiyao grabbed Qin Fen by the wrist and pulled him down behind the sofa with a "let's hide over here, Fen-ge."

Mubo rolled his eyes and dragged Zimo with him around a corner so they wouldn't be visible from the door. He gave the younger a pet on his shoulder while Zimo pretended like nothing. This would be an interesting night, he wondered if anyone would bet with him on how long it would take for Zimo to break?

The apartment quieted down as everyone found spots to hide. Yanlei was very obviously hiding behind one of the curtains, his big feet sticking out, but Mubo didn't care to tell him to stop being a moron and hide somewhere more sensible since Zuo Ye probably wouldn't notice him anyway (they'd played hide and seek once – Zimo's idea – and Zuo Ye hadn't found Peiyao who was literally laying on the sofa with a blanket over him, until he sat down on top him).

Finally, they heard footsteps in the hallway and the door opening.

"Weird, the door was unlocked?" they heard Zuo Ye say to Xikan. "Probably Zimo-ge who forgot to lock it."

Next to Mubo Zimo puffed, clearly insulted.

The moment Zuo Ye stepped into the living room they jumped out from their hiding spots and yelled "SURPRISE!". Something sounded like it ripped but Mubo decided to not investigate now, focusing on Zuo Ye instead.

Zuo Ye actually fell over from the shook and ended up sitting on his ass, looking up at them with big eyes. His lower lip slightly quivered.

"What the hell, you guys."

"Happy birthday, Ye-di!" Zimo exclaimed as Mubo helped Zuo Ye up and dusted him off.

Someone put on some music and the party started as people came up to Zuo Ye and congratulated him, the birthday boy still seeming a bit dazed. Mubo kept a comforting arm around Zuo Ye's shoulders, chatting with the guest when Zuo Ye could only stammer in thankfulness.

"Happy birthday, Zuo Ye!" Yanlei shouted and patted Zuo Ye forcefully on a shoulder. Yanlei had a fabric around his shoulders that seemed familiar.

"Wait, is that my curtain?" Mubo suddenly said, interrupting Yanlei's speech about growing up and self-discovery. He looked over at the window, and yes, there was only one curtain hanging there now. Yanlei managed to at least look a bit sheepish.

"What the hell," Mubo continued. He'd knew that is had been a bad idea to invite Yanlei, the guy was a walking disaster.

"Oops?" Yanlei said and held out his hands. Mubo facepalmed.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Zuo Ye looked surprised and Mubo tried to keep back his grin. He knew exactly who was outside that door.

"More guests, go open the door, Ye-di," he said and steered Zuo Ye to the door before he stepped back and quickly took up his phone. This was going to be too good to not be filmed. Mubo managed to catch Qin Fen's eye and nodded with his head towards the door. Qin Fen seemed to get the hint and started to gather people up. Because everyone would want to see this.

Zuo Ye didn't seem to sense that something was off, considering more or less all the party guest were following him to the door. He just opened the door and for the second time that night found himself on the floor, this time actually crying.

"Happy birthday, Zuo Ye!" Cai Xukun said and held out a bouquet of flowers, then stopped in his tracks when Zuo Ye disappeared in front of him. "Oh." Behind him Ziyi tried to hide a laugh.

A laughing Peiyao and Zimo helped Zuo Ye up again, the youngest still sobbing. Xukun looked a bit alarmed.

"Are you okay?" he asked tentatively.

"I'm just- really- happy," Zuo Ye managed to get out between sobs, then he threw himself at Xukun who reacted quick enough to catch him. Xukun patted the other on the back as Zuo Ye cried against his shoulder. Mubo tried not to laugh at Xukun's quite shocked face. 

"I did warn you," Mubo said as Zuo Ye did no motion to let go of Xukun. Xukun smiled faintly and continued to pat Zuo Ye on the back.

"I guess you did."

"Bo-ge, I think you broke Ye-di," Zimo commented. He was leaning against Peiyao and the other had placed his arm around Zimo's waist. Mubo didn't think either of them realized.

"Hey, bro, come on, time to let go," Ziyi finally said and gently peeled Zuo Ye's arms from around his boyfriend's neck. Xukun looked thankful for that.

After Zuo Ye had calmed down enough to form complete sentences again Mubo left him with Xukun and Ziyi to give him time to bond with his idol. After having given Xukun and Ziyi something to drink. They were probably gonna need it.

Mubo looked around and saw that Peiyao had attached himself to Qin Fen again, his hand on the rapper's knee as they were seated on the sofa talking to Li Junyi. Peiyao looked up and caught Mubo's eye and gave him a cheeky grin before he turned back to Qin Fen. Mubo huffed and turned away. He was not concerned about what Peiyao was doing, he knew that Peiyao had no real interest in Qin Fen. But a tiny voice in his head couldn't help but point out that Qin Fen didn't seem to mind and that he hadn't really talked to Mubo during the whole evening.

He tried to distract himself by talking to the other guests. He ended up talking to Zhangjing and Yanjun, but eventually, he had to excuse himself when Yanjun cracked the tenth cold joke in half an hour, something that only Zhangjing found fun and endearing. How Zhangjing could live with all the bad jokes and cheesy pick-up lines Mubo would never understand. 

"Zimo, what are you doing?" Mubo asked when he found the younger mixing something in a big glass in the kitchen.

"A drink," Zimo slurred. He clearly had enough to drink already. Mubo tried to take the glass from him, but Zimo managed to skip away, shouting about Mubo ruining his good time. He slipped into the crowd that was dancing in the living-room and Mubo decided that it wasn't worth hunting him down. Especially not since Peiyao slipped up next to him, Qin Fen nowhere in sight.

"Mubo," Peiyao greeted. 

"Peiyao," Mubo nodded. "Where do you have Qin Fen?"

"He needed to use the restroom," Peiyao said with a shrug and gave Mubo a look that probably meant ‘what are going to do about it?'

"Don't think I don't know what you're trying to do," Mubo told him and poked him in the chest. "I'm not stupid."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Peiyao answered, trying to sound indifferent. Mubo huffed.

"You're trying to make me jealous."

"Is it working?"

"No," Mubo said, maybe a little too quick. Peiyao raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"So, it is working huh." Peiyao seemed a bit too pleased with himself.

"Maybe you should try to give some of all that attention to Zimo instead," Mubo shot back, wanting to change the subject away from himself.

"Zimo?" Now Peiyao sounded confused, like that was the last thing he expected Mubo to say.

"He's been moping the whole evening and drunk himself stupid," Mubo informed him and pointed to the living-room where Zimo somehow managed to get on top of the coffee table and was dancing wildly.

"Oh," was all Peiyao said and Mubo shook his head.

"For someone claiming to be perceptive, you're really blind sometimes, Jing Peiyao."

"Fuck."

"Language," Mubo scolded. But Peiyao didn't seem to hear him as he drained his drink and made his way over to Zimo. Mubo shook his head.

"Where's Peiyao going?" Qin Fen suddenly asked behind Mubo, making him jump slightly.

"He's either joining Zimo on the table or dragging him down from there," Mubo said, trying not to show how affected he was by Qin Fen and how close he was standing. The rapper clearly also had more than enough to drink. He nodded at what Mubo said, eyes not really focused.

"Have you had a good evening?" Mubo asked when Qin Fen remained silent. He was still the host of this party, and he didn't know what else to say.

"I'm sorry," Qin Fen suddenly said. "Mubo, I'm so, so sorry. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry." He continued to ramble while Mubo just stared at him, unsure what this was about.

"Qin Fen," Mubo finally said, interrupting the rapper who immediately shut up. "I have no idea what you're apologizing for."

"I…" Qin Fen started before he abruptly closed his mouth and put a hand over it, rushing off to the bathroom.

Mubo patted Qin Fen on the back as he threw up. He groaned and whimpered pathetically.

"I wouldn't have guessed you were such a light-weight," Mubo commented, a grin tugging at his lips.

"Sorry…"

"Stop apologizing."

"Sorry."

"Seriously."

At that Qin Fen laughed weakly. He slowly got up, looking awful. Mubo took his arm to steady him and Qin Fen gave him a thankful smile that made Mubo's heart ache.

"You know, this isn't how I had planned that this night would end," Qin Fen said before he put his face under the faucet to wash his face and rinse his mouth. Mubo handed him a towel.

"Okay?" he said as he watched the rapper dry his face. Qin Fen chuckled, but there wasn't any joy in it.

"It's stupid, and I've probably would've chickened out anyway," Qin Fen said dryly, and Mubo had never seen him so beaten down. "But I could've lived without disappointing you again."

"You haven't disappointed me," Mubo said immediately. Anything to get the smile back onto Qin Fen's lips.

"Yes, I have," Qin Fen said firmly. "And I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

"Don't beat yourself down," Mubo said just as firmly and grabbed the other's wrist and stepped closer. Qin Fen's skin looked a bit sickly after throwing up and in the sharp light of the bathroom, but he was still as beautiful as ever. Mubo let go of Qin Fen's wrist and slipped his hand down so he could intertwine their fingers. The alcohol was making him brave. Or stupid maybe, but he didn't care right now. Outside the party was still going on, but it felt like they were standing in their own little bubble, the music muffled and the voices from their friends seeming far off.

Qin Fen looked at him with big eyes. He was slightly trembling, but he automatically squeezed Mubo's hand back.

"You haven't disappointed me. Not tonight and not before," Mubo repeated.

"I literally disappeared for a couple of days. You were so angry I thought you never wanted to see me again," Qin Fen mumbled, unable to meet Mubo's eyes. Mubo winced at the memory.

"Okay, that is true," he confessed. Qin Fen gave him a quick look like to say ‘right?'

"But since then you haven't disappointed me," Mubo continued and put his other hand on Qin Fen's shoulder. He was surprised when Qin Fen let his head fall down on his shoulder. Mubo gingerly moved his hand from his shoulder to his neck, fingers brushing his hair and soft skin. Qin Fen put his free arm around Mubo's middle and pulled him closer.

None of them said anything. They just excited inside their bubble. Mubo was afraid that if he said anything he would burst the bubble and Qin Fen would pull away again. The little puffs of air that Qin Fen breathed against his neck sent shivers down his back and he was sure that Qin Fen would be able to feel how hard his heart was beating since they were standing chest to chest.

Eventually, Qin Fen lifted his head from Mubo's shoulder, but he did nothing to pull away. Their eyes met and Mubo felt dragged in by Qin Fen's gaze. They were nose to nose, breaths shallow. Mubo closed his eyes as Qin Fen leaned in.

A sudden knock on the door made them jump apart.

"Hey, stop hogging the toilet!" someone shouted from outside. Qin Fen looked like a deer caught in the light, eyes big as he turned away from Mubo and rushed out of the bathroom.

"Um, what's going on in here?" Zhangjing asked as he poked his head inside the door. Behind him Yanjun was grinning widely. Mubo just managed to look dazed after Qin Fen, wondering what the hell that had happened there?

One thing he was sure of – he immediately missed Qin Fen's warmth.