Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Yoichi dreamed of dancing.

Behind closed eyes, he would envision the way a body could move to music—with feet moving and hands swaying against the wind. He would imagine limbs flowing through space like a fish in water, molded to ripples and waves of sound, carried onward to wherever the current willed. It was his favorite way of passing time, though he knew such movement was beyond him.

He could never dance; he’d crumble apart if he tried. But he still liked to watch.

He liked to wish.

Yoichi’s brother never allowed him to attend balls, but whenever he could slip past his brother’s suffocating gaze, he watched the dancers. He’d sneak to the floor of a hidden balcony, crouching at the railing with his eyes glued to the swirling skirts and graceful movements of the people below. They circled each other in perfect synchronization, their bodies perfectly in tune, and Yoichi couldn’t look away.

It was mesmerizing, the way they moved. There was something about it—something alluring but never attainable. Almost like a mirage, distant no matter how he chased after it. There was no way to journey down from the cliff’s edge he stood upon and join the people far below him, but he walked right to the precipice anyway and stared straight down. He watched the waves crash below him and longed to know what the water would feel like against his skin.

To Yoichi, dancing looked like freedom. Reaching for it was suicide—either by the fall or by virtue of the fact that Yoichi had never learned to swim. He’d break apart on the rocks, or flail until he sunk, or open his lungs to saltwater and breathe the sea until he couldn’t anymore. He wouldn’t survive, and yet he wondered: What would it be like, in the instant before his death? As his broken body drifted out to sea, would the fish come to nibble at his flesh? And would he know, right before he became salt and bone, what it was like to swim with them?

He can’t help but think sometimes, when he stares off the edge of that cliff,

If I die knowing, then wouldn’t the fall be worth it?

The night Yoichi met his hero, his brother hosted a ball.

For his distinguished guests, he spared no expense. He threw open the doors of the royal palace to nobility from across the land, dazzling them with exotic foods and ostentatious décor. The ballroom became a transcendent place—glittering gold and sparkling with a thousand amber lights.

The guests, of course, had done their best to match the king’s extravagance. Yoichi watched from above as they milled around the ballroom, dressed in elaborate costumes to match his whatever theme his brother had demanded of them. Something to do with exotic animals, if the feather gowns and coats of sleek dark fur told Yoichi anything.

Yoichi absorbed it all from afar, craning his head out over the railing of his hidden balcony. With the ball keeping his brother busy, he’d been able to sneak out of his chambers without attracting the king’s notice, dressed as a servant as he slipped past the guards at his door. He’d fled straight to the balcony—his safe haven and the only place his brother’s empty gaze couldn’t find him.

Yoichi tilted his head forward, soaking in the sound of the strings as they struck up a waltz. His brother only brought in the best musicians, and it showed in the beauty of the song. The music was familiar—Yoichi had heard the same melody played at past balls—but it was as beautiful as ever, soft with a touch of melancholia.

He listened as it swelled, feeling more at ease than he’d been in a long while. It had been too long since he’d last managed to get a moment’s peace from his brother. His own chambers weren’t safe; the king could burst through his door at any moment, and whether he’d come to shower Yoichi with gifts or scream at him for all of his failings was all to the flip of a coin. Within the walls of his bedchamber, Yoichi had no choice but to exist in a permanent state of panic, always with one eye on the door.

He didn’t have to feel that way on the balcony. He was the only one who knew it existed, so his brother couldn’t find him there. It was the one place he could let out a breath without the fear that his brother would resent him for it.

Or so he thought.

He’d never seen anyone at the balcony before, so when the door creaked open behind him, he was taken by surprise. He whirled around, heart climbing up his chest, and immediately lost his balance where he’d been hanging over the edge of the balcony. He stumbled, foot slipping out from beneath him and stomach dropping as he realized a second too late that the thin bars of the railing weren’t enough to hold him back.

Yoichi’s weight swung forward, sending him plummeting straight over the railing.

He choked on a scream as he plunged headfirst towards the ground far below and the people who looked so small from up high. The drop hadn’t looked so far before, but suddenly it was endless, and Yoichi was paralyzed by the fear that it was all wrong. That there would be no moment of freedom when he hit the bottom, only a sharp crack as he splattered apart amongst the dancers.

His lips parted, wanting to scream, to cry out desperately, Not like this. Please not like—

Strong arms wrapped around his torso, hauling him back from the edge. Yoichi stumbled backwards against something warm and solid, breathing hard as his mind braced itself for another fate, for a shattered corpse on a ballroom floor.

He had not fallen. He struggled to reconcile that fact—that the hands around his body smelled like petrichor and wind instead of blood in the floorboards.

“Careful,” a voice drawled near Yoichi’s ear, rough and low like the surge of an alpine river over sharp, unpolished rock. “I don’t think the king would appreciate having to clean you off the dancefloor.”

Yoichi struggled out of the stranger’s grip, his heart pounding war drums in his ears as it marched to battle. The stranger let go and Yoichi fell awkwardly to the ground, staring up at his rescuer like a rabbit in a snare, breath coming in frightened gasps as he weighed the merits of gnawing off his own limbs to escape.

The stranger watched him impassively, apparently unaware of his inner turmoil as his crimson eyes peering out from behind a mask of navy scales, “Didn’t mean to startle you. I didn’t expect to find anyone up here.”

He was dressed like a nobleman, wearing a long coat with a peculiar sheen to it. Upon further inspection, Yoichi realized it was made of the same dark scales that covered the man’s face.

Yoichi swallowed, his breathing beginning to even out, “Neither did I.” He climbed to his feet, keeping his appendages but eyeing the man warily. “I didn’t think anyone else knew about this place.”

The man’s eyes flickered. Not like fire—they were deeper and colder than that. Like rubies, tough and glinting, “I saw the balcony. From down there.” He motioned towards the great hall. “I wanted to see what the world looked like from this angle.”

Yoichi blinked. He’d never thought anyone at his brother’s balls would be looking up. There was no reason to, with such extravagant sights all around.

“Does the king know you’re here?” Yoichi narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

Looking up wasn’t the only reason the nobleman’s response was strange. His brother didn’t tolerate invasions of privacy. Yoichi couldn’t imagine he’d be happy, knowing that one of the lords he’d invited had left his party to wander through his halls.

“Does the King know you’re here?” The man countered.

Yoichi tensed. The man couldn’t possibly be implying that Yoichi wasn’t supposed to be there. He couldn’t possibly know.

“I—" Yoichi fumbled for a response, heart thumping in his chest. If this man reported him to his brother, Yoichi might never be allowed to leave his chambers again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No?” The nobleman arched an eyebrow, nodding to his outfit. “If you’re going to pretend to be a servant, you shouldn’t question a member of the nobility.”

Yoichi inwardly cursed himself. The nobleman was right. He might have gotten away with fleeing the scene if he’d remembered his disguise sooner. He could have run away after apologizing for invading the man’s space.

“Maybe I’m not a servant,” Yoichi admitted. “That doesn’t mean I can’t be here.”

The nobleman smirked. Yoichi got the sense that he’d said exactly what the man expected, “True enough.”

The stranger took another step forward. Yoichi would have backed up, but after almost falling off the balcony, he wasn’t in a hurry to get any closer to the railing. He had no choice but to let the man advance until he was only a breath away. The nobleman was tall enough to need to lean over to meet Yoichi’s gaze, his precious-jewel eyes still full of dark amusement.

Too quick for Yoichi to react, he reached for Yoichi’s neck. Yoichi flinched back immediately, but the man was only grasping for his necklace. He pulled at the pendant that hung at Yoichi’s collarbone, running his fingers over the surface, “And then there’s this.”

Yoichi was always careful to tuck the necklace into his shirt, but it must have become dislodged during his near-disastrous fall. He tugged it away, wincing as his fingers grazed the hand of the nobleman.

The nobleman noticed his reaction and let go immediately. Something unreadable flickered across his face, though it vanished so quickly Yoichi wondered if he’d imagined it. He tilted his head slightly, “Strong evidence, wouldn’t you say?”

The necklace was a hand, fingers reaching out to clutch a red star. The crest of the Shigaraki family, the royal bloodline that had seized control of the kingdom over a decade ago.

Yoichi didn’t answer. He could only clutch the pendant in his fist, rabbit heart thumping dangerously in his chest. His brother had warned him, over and over again, what would happen if he ever left the safety of his chambers. They will use you, he’d said. Manipulate you to get to me.

His hands twitched at his sides, eyes darting towards the door behind the nobleman’s shoulder. The nobleman would most likely want to turn him over to his brother in order to gain the king’s favor, but Yoichi was small and quick. Maybe he could run back to his chambers before the man could grab him.

He tensed, readying himself to bolt, but the nobleman only sighed. He lifted his hands placatingly, a gesture of surrender, “Relax, Princeling. I’ll keep your secret.”

Yoichi didn’t relax. He didn’t see what the man would gain by keeping Yoichi’s secret, and he knew better than to think the man was acting against his own self-interest. People were selfish creatures. They would never turn down an opportunity for more, and this man was no exception. There must be a reason behind his actions.

Could it be the threat of mutually assured destruction holding the man back? Reporting Yoichi to his brother would mean admitting to wandering the King’s palace. If Yoichi had been right in assuming the man didn’t have permission to be there, the punishment for trespassing would outweigh the reward for handing Yoichi over.

“Who are you?” Yoichi asked, studying him carefully.

The man blinked, slightly confused, “Aren’t you royals supposed to know everybody?”

Yoichi glanced away, “I haven’t been at court as much as most royals.”

The consequence of being hidden away by his brother was that Yoichi knew little about the noble families that surrounded the King. He could study the world and the kingdom all he wanted, pouring over books in the library, but there were some things books couldn’t help with.

“Ah, yes,” understanding crept across the nobleman’s face. “I’ve heard of you. The king’s sickly little brother, kept locked away for the sake of your health.” He frowned at Yoichi. “You’re not as close to death’s door as I thought.”

 “Are you trying to avoid my question?” Yoichi asked.

“Maybe,” the man responded evenly, flashing a crooked grin. Yoichi just stared at him in confusion until he lifted his eyebrows in challenge. “You don’t want to figure it out for yourself?”

Yoichi considered the idea. He had theories about the man, but none of them made much sense. He looked the man up and down, “You’re from an outer region, aren’t you? Near the eastern coast?”

Maybe Yoichi imagined it, but he thought the man looked mildly impressed, “Interesting. Can I ask how you reached that conclusion?”

Yoichi nodded, gaining a little confidence, “I was operating on the assumption that you’re wearing clothes from your homeland. Those scales on your jacket and mask are from the speckled salmon, aren’t they? That fish is rare. It can only be found on the rocky coasts and rivers off the eastern border, so by process of elimination…”

He trailed off. The man watched him carefully, eyes unwavering as they pierced into Yoichi’s own. Yoichi suppressed a shiver. There was an unsettling intensity to the man’s stare.

“Not bad,” the nobleman commended him. “You’re not far off.”

Yoichi was oddly disappointed, “I got it wrong?”

The man nodded, eyes glittering beneath his mask, “You overlooked something.” He ran his fingers over the collar of his jacket. “This isn’t speckled salmon.”

Yoichi glanced at him in surprise, “Really?”

He’d been so sure. The sheen of those scales and the sheer size wasn’t something you found anywhere but the eastern regions. Sure, Yoichi had never actually seen salmon, but he’d flipped through many a book of detailed artwork.

“Really,” The man said, in a tone that made Yoichi wonder whether he was mocking him. “It’s a freshwater fish. You only find it in the lakes region.”

The lakes region was the colloquial name for the eastern reaches, located just inland of the eastern coast. It was known for the many rivers and freshwater lakes that dotted its rolling hills and forests. It was also known for the revolt it had led against the King several years back. Since the revolt had been crushed, the region had dissolved into poverty and developed a reputation for lawlessness.

In the years since the revolt, the region had faded into obscurity. Yoichi rarely heard it mentioned, nor encountered anyone from it. He realized he didn’t even know the name of the new noble family that his brother had assigned to the region, after the fall of the family that had risen up in revolt. 

“The lakes region,” Yoichi repeated thoughtfully. “The eastern reaches? That’s where you’re from?”

“That’s right,” the man nodded, a strange gleam in his eye, “You’ll keep my secret, won’t you?”

Yoichi furrowed his brow in confusion, “It’s a secret?”

For an odd moment, Yoichi felt that the man was holding back a laugh, “Hardly. I meant about being here.” At Yoichi’s look of confusion, he explained. “You were right. Your brother wouldn’t be happy to know I was here. You won’t tell him, will you?”

Yoichi hesitated. This nobleman was undoubtedly very strange. There was something unnerving not just about his words, but about the way he stared at Yoichi. His crimson gaze seemed to look straight through Yoichi, like he could see more than Yoichi even knew was there. It was a dangerous look, since no one was supposed to know anything about Yoichi at all.

Even so, the man hadn’t done anything to harm him. He’d even saved Yoichi’s life by pulling him back from the balcony railing. Yoichi had no reason to distrust him, nor did he have any real choice but to go along with the nobleman’s request. He certainly couldn’t afford for his brother to find out about one of the few places he had to himself.

Mutually assured destruction, he reminded himself. If he lets me fall, I’ll drag him down with me.

“I won’t say anything,” Yoichi said.

The man nodded, “A wise decision.” Yoichi caught a glimpse of relief in his crimson eyes. “This spot is too good to share with anyone else. Two is plenty, in my opinion.”

He took a sudden step back, “I’ll be going, then.” His movement was so abrupt that Yoichi flinched backward, stumbling back a step in alarm. The nobleman only raised his eyebrow, “Not going to fall again, are you?”

Yoichi shook his head, embarrassed, “Of course not.”

“Good,” the man nodded approvingly. “You’re a fascinating one, Princeling. I’d rather you stayed alive.”

He was gone before Yoichi could decide whether or not to take that as a compliment.

Yoichi figured that was the last he’d see of his crimson-eyed stranger, but the strange nobleman reappeared at the very next ball. He was sitting on the balcony when Yoichi snuck out, watching the crowd below him with a thoughtful expression.

“You,” Yoichi blinked in surprise, staring at him with a jumble of emotions that were half alarm and half excitement.

The man just smiled, “Me.”

He wasn’t wearing a mask this time, so Yoichi could see his whole face. He immediately wished he couldn’t, because that face made everything worse. It was distracting. Pretty like a statue, carved by loving hands from unforgiving stone. Yoichi was fairly certain though, that even a century beneath a sculptor’s chisel couldn’t produce a jawline so sharp or such a perfect aquiline nose, marred only by the jagged scar that cut its way down from the man’s forehead.

“What are you doing here?” Yoichi demanded, still frozen in the doorway.

The man’s eyes were on the dancers below, “I like the view.” He glanced up at Yoichi. “Join me, Princeling. There’s room enough for both of us.”

Yoichi knew he should spin around and flee back to his room. He knew interacting with this stranger was a risk he couldn’t afford to take. But he also didn’t want to miss the dance. He didn’t want to miss the thin slice of freedom that came with his time on the balcony.

He cautiously took a seat between the man and the door, not so close he couldn’t flee before the man could grab him.

The man didn’t even look at him, his eyes focused on the crowd below. After a moment, Yoichi relaxed a little, though he couldn’t let down his guard entirely.

He eyed the man distrustfully, “You lied to me.”

The man tensed, eyes flickering to Yoichi, “Did I?”

“Yes,” Yoichi confirmed. “Last time we spoke.”

The man’s eyes darted from side to side.

“You said I was wrong about the speckled salmon,” Yoichi reminded him. “But I’ve been reading about it in the library. The freshwater fish your jacket was made from is called wintertrout, right?”

The man nodded slowly. He looked slightly bewildered.

“They’re basically the same species!” Yoichi told him. “I looked at the histories. The wintertrout is descended from a speckled salmon that traveled upriver and got stranded in a lake.”

The man relaxed, an easy smile curving across his lips, “It’s hardly the same, Princeling. That salmon adapted to survive in freshwater over many generations. It’s a whole different animal now.”

Yoichi hesitating, not wanting to admit that the man had information he hadn’t found in his books, “Biologically, maybe. But they’re still related. I’ve read all about lakes fauna in the library."

“Have you now?” The lord’s face drifted into its familiar smirk, “You’ve been researching me, then? Should I be flattered or concerned?”

Yoichi flushed, “Concerned, probably. I couldn’t find much about the lakes region in the library, besides flora and fauna.”

“Really?” the nobleman looked momentarily surprised. “I suppose that makes sense. Your brother does love to write his own history.”

Yoichi frowned, “What does that mean?”

“Nothing,” the man spoke too quickly, his hesitant tone at odds with the calculating look in his eye. “It’s not my place to say.”

 Yoichi frowned, “You don’t think I’d tell my brother what you said, do you?”

“Maybe I do. It’s not like I know you,” he smiled, though it seemed wearier than his usual sharp grin. Right. Yoichi had forgotten that this man knew nothing of his strained relationship with his brother.

The man sighed, “I only mean to say that your brother has a vastly underappreciated ability to control information. With such power, he’s free to shape history as he likes.”

Yoichi slowly absorbed the man’s meaning, “You mean to say that he’s erasing your region on purpose?”

The nobleman nodded, looking slightly surprised, “You’re a sharp one, huh?”

Yoichi tried not to show the way the praise sunk into his skin and warmed his fragile bones, “Why would he do that?”

The nobleman lifted his shoulders in a shrug, though something darker glinted behind his eyes. It looked like rage, “It’s not for me to question the King’s motives.”

Yoichi wanted to ask more, but the look of barely concealed anger behind the man’s face dissuaded him. He contented himself with looking back down at the dance instead. He could faintly hear the music as it drifted up from below.

He cast the man another curious glance, “Why aren’t you down there with them?”

The nobleman was a lord of a major region. Yoichi couldn’t understand why he would miss the opportunity to attend one of the kings famously extravagant balls.

The man shrugged, “I told you. I like the view.”

“But why not watch from up close?” Yoichi frowned. “Why risk getting in trouble with my brother to come up here?”

The nobleman shot him a look of combined irritation and amusement, “You’re too curious for your own good, Princeling. Anyone ever told you that?”

Yoichi stayed silent, waiting expectantly for an answer.

The man let out a breath of exasperation, “I tire of them. That’s why I’m here.” He glanced down again. “Those painted charlatans are always putting on a display, but that doesn’t mean I have to watch it.”

He screwed up his nose as he spoke of the visitors below, brows drawing together. It was a look of distaste, which Yoichi didn’t really understand. The crimson-eyed man was nobility too. He dressed just as lavishly as any of the so-called charlatans he was condemning.

“Then why come at all?” Yoichi asked him.

The man smiled, “You really meant it when you told me you’re never at court, huh, Princeling? I have to attend your brother’s balls. It’s my duty as a lord.”

He said the words calmly, but there was an undercurrent of…something. His voice sounded almost bitter.

“Oh,” Yoichi frowned. “I didn’t realize attending was such a burden.”

The man glanced at him, noticing his change in tone. He sounded slightly defensive as he answered, “I never said it was. Only that I prefer it up here.”

Yoichi had to bite his tongue to keep himself from suggesting they switch lives.

He could never wish his existence on anyone else.

“What about you?”

Yoichi looked up in surprise at the sound of the nobleman’s voice. They’d been enjoying the view of his brother’s third ball in comfortable silence, Yoichi lying on the floor to stare between the bars of the railing. Somewhere between the last ball and the current one, Yoichi had shoved his wariness to the back of his mind, concluding that if the man was going to turn him over, he would have done it already.

When he lifted his head, the crimson-eyed man was watching him carefully.

“What?” Yoichi tilted his head in confusion.

“Why are you up here?”

Yoichi tensed, wonder how he could possibly explain. To everyone but Yoichi, the King was a picture of charm and grace. If Yoichi tried to explain that his brother kept him locked away and isolated in a private wing of the castle, the man would never believe him.

The man glances between Yoichi and the dancefloor, “You never take your eyes off the dancers. Why don’t you go down and join them?”

Yoichi let out a breath, “My brother has forbidden it.” He watched the man’s brows draw together. “Dancing isn’t good for my condition.”

“Condition?”

Yoichi shifted uncomfortably, “I’m sick. If I push myself too hard, my body will fail.”

The nobleman offered Yoichi no condolences or halfhearted apologies. He just stared with faint confusion, “Why can’t you attend and just…not dance?”

“My brother…” Yoichi trailed off, searching for an explanation that didn’t raise the man’s suspicions. “…doesn’t think it’s wise.” He shifted uneasily, uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. “Better to keep my distance than risk my safety.”

The nobleman stared at him for a moment longer, “I see.”

Yoichi almost believed that he did. The look in his eyes was too knowing, though there was no possible way he could understand Yoichi’s situation.

He glanced away a second later, and Yoichi felt colder without his gaze, “You can’t join them, so you watch from afar.”

Yoichi nodded.

“You must resent me, then,” the man frowned. “Coming here when I could be down there.”

Yoichi shook his head immediately. The thought had never crossed his mind.

“You have your reasons to distance yourself,” Yoichi offered the man a small smile. “Just as I have my reasons to long to be closer.”

The man scoffed, averting his eyes, “You’re too understanding, Princeling.”

“Yoichi.”

“What?” The man’s head swung back to him.

“You can call me Yoichi,” Yoichi told him.

The man squinted at him, “You…want me to call you by your first name?”

Yoichi nodded, not seeing the issue. Clearly the crimson-eyed nobleman didn’t care about titles. He’d never once addressed Yoichi the way he was supposed to—as ‘Your Highness.’

“And what should I call you?” Yoichi asked the man, who was still studying Yoichi with a peculiar look on his face.

The man frowned, pressing his lips together with a firm expression on his face, “Nothing. I’m a stranger. I don’t need a name.”

“We’ve spent two balls together already,” Yoichi reminded him. “You’re hardly a stranger.”

“I am,” the man insisted, his expression troubled. “And it should stay that way.”

“I don’t want it to,” Yoichi told him honestly. The nobleman might be guarded and mysterious and definitely keeping secrets, but Yoichi wanted to know him anyway. His brother usually prevented Yoichi from talking to anyone but himself and the royal physician. This was a chance to learn from someone new, and despite the risk, Yoichi couldn’t let it slip away. “I still have questions for you.”

He'd been reading voraciously about the east. He had so many questions to ask—about the fish in the lakes and so much more.

The man remained silent, watching Yoichi with a conflicted expression on his face.

“If you won’t tell me your name, I can make up something to call you,” Yoichi offered. “Would that be easier?”

“What? No,” the man stared at Yoichi like he’d started speaking another language. “You’re not listening—”

“Something to do with wintertrout, maybe? Because of the scale mask you wore?” Yoichi tilted his head, thinking hard. “Or… I could call you my hero, since you saved me from falling.”

“Don’t call me that,” the man said immediately, decisively. He let out a frustrated breath, running a hand through his ginger hair. “I told you already. Don’t call me anything.”

“My hero it is, then,” Yoichi ducked his head to hide a sly smile. He was just turning to look back at the crowd when the man spoke.

“Kudou,” the man’s voice was rough. When Yoichi turned towards him, his crimson eyes pierced straight through Yoichi. He swallowed thickly, long lashes fluttering against his cheeks. All of a sudden, he looked younger and much more vulnerable. “You can call me Kudou.”

“Kudou,” Yoichi wrapped the name around his tongue. It was a good name. A pretty name. Yoichi smiled teasingly at him. “Are you sure? I kind of like ‘my hero.’”

The man stared with eyes that were a hundred shades of red. He didn’t smile back.

“Call me by my name, or nothing,” Kudou insisted, holding Yoichi’s gaze. “I’m no hero.”

At the fourth ball, Kudou came bearing gifts.

Yoichi’s eyes widened with delight as he unfurled the carefully wrapped parchment that Kudou handed to him without a word. On the inside, a detailed map of the eastern regions was drawn out by a careful hand.

Yoichi studied it with awe, “It’s amazing. Did you make it?”

Kudou scoffed, “Not me. One of my closest friends is as good with a quill as he is with a sword. I had him draw it out for me.”

“Beautiful,” Yoichi breathed, holding the map close to his face to make out the fine print. “Show me where you’re from.”

They spent most of the night hunched over the map. Yoichi asked question after question about Kudou’s home region, and Kudou pointed out all the places he’d been. He told Yoichi all about growing up in the lakes region, catching wintertrout in the crystal-clear water and riding his horse over the rolling hills.

Yoichi watched his face as he spoke, listening to the sound of his voice. Kudou had a brusque way of talking and a cynical way of seeing the world, but when he spoke of his home region, his voice softened and his eyes grew gentle and wistful. His expression only fueled Yoichi’s interest. Yoichi longed to see the place that inspired such yearning.

“I want to see one someday,” he told Kudou. Kudou looked puzzled. “A wintertrout. In the wild.”

Kudou smiled, “Only if you’re lucky. They’re smart. They know how to avoid getting caught.”

“But you must have caught them before,” Yoichi said, remembering Kudou’s scaled clothing from the night they’d first met. “You wore their scales.”

“Yes,” Kudou agreed. “I know how to trick them.”

Yoichi beamed at him, “Then you can teach me. That way, I’ll definitely see one.”

Kudou looked at him with an odd expression. Yoichi couldn’t see much beyond the walls Kudou always had up, but he thought it looked a little like regret, “Maybe. Someday.”

Yoichi’s smile wavered. Someday sounded too much like never.

By the end of the fourth ball, Yoichi considered Kudou a friend. Before he’d even realized it, he’d grown accustomed to Kudou’s presence. He even felt comfortable when Kudou was around, which was strange because he never felt that way around his brother. It was a surprisingly beautiful thing, having someone to talk to.

He spent the next week anxiously waiting for the next ball, for the next chance to see Kudou again. He read and reread every book in the library about the lakes, and stored up questions in his head to ask Kudou. He counted down days until he could sneak back to the balcony.

But when the day of the ball finally came, Yoichi never made it out of his bed.

Yoichi woke in the morning feeling normal. He got up, took the medicine his brother always supplied him, and waited anxiously for the time he could see Kudou again. By midday, the sickness began to set in, but Yoichi tried to push through it, ignoring his hacking cough and dizzying fever. It was only when the sun grew low in the sky and Yoichi could barely stumble out of bed without passing out that he finally admitted defeat.

His brother visited before leaving for the ball, placing a hand against Yoichi’s burning forehead. Yoichi’s stomach twisted at his touch, threatening to empty itself onto the floor beside his bed.

The king’s pale eyes swirled in front of Yoichi’s blurry vision, “Poor little brother. You’ve pushed yourself too far again, haven’t you?”

Yoichi tried to respond that he hadn’t—that he’d done nothing—but his throat was too sore to speak.

His brother narrowed his eyes, “It’s those books you’re always reading. You’ve put too much strain on your mind, and it’s weakening your body.” He frowned at Yoichi. “Take a break. I don’t know why you’re so interested in those corrupt eastern regions anyway.”

Take a break was phrased as a suggestion, but they both knew it was really a command. Yoichi managed a shaky nod.

“Good.” His brother smiled affectionately at Yoichi, though it never reached his cold eyes. “Don’t forget your medicine, my sweet brother, and you’ll recover soon enough.”

He leaned down and pressed a kiss against Yoichi’s forehead. Yoichi shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut until he heard the door click and lock behind his brother.

He laid in his bed, cold and sweaty and floating in and out of consciousness. All he could think about was that this was the first time since he’d met Kudou that he had missed a ball. He wondered what Kudou would think, when he arrived at the balcony and Yoichi never came. Would Kudou wonder what had become of him? Or would he be grateful for a reprieve from Yoichi’s pestering questions.

Night fell, and Yoichi thought of dancing. He wondered absently why Kudou was so averse to it. Could he be a bad dancer? Somehow, Yoichi doubted it. The way Kudou moved was so graceful, even when he was just walking or turning his head to look at Yoichi. If he danced, it would probably be breathtaking. 

Yoichi wondered if he’d ever get to see Kudou dance. He hoped so.

The window creaked loudly. Yoichi turned his neck to watch as a shadowy figure crept through the window with lithe grace. His heart pounded in his chest as it approached his bed.

A hallucination. It was just a hallucination, caused by his feverish mind. There was no way anyone could scale the wall to reach his chambers on the highest floor.

The figure took a seat by Yoichi’s bedside table, his features gradually coming into focus through Yoichi’s hazy vision. Yoichi gasped, propping himself up on his elbows as he spotted a familiar scar and soft crimson eyes, “Kudou?”

Kudou smiled at him, his voice surprisingly gentle, “You’ve look better, Princeling.”

Kudou didn’t look like Yoichi’s usual hallucinations. He was much more detailed and far less horrifying. Was it possible that he was really there?

Yoichi watched Kudou pour a glass of the herbal medicinal concoction his brother had left behind, bringing it to his own lips before offering Yoichi a sip. He grimaced in disgust, “That can’t be beneficial. Tastes like horse piss.”

Yoichi chuckled drily, though it quickly turned into a hacking cough. He turned away, coughing into a dry rag, “Do you know that from experience?”

“Good to see you still have the energy to joke,” Kudou raised his eyebrows, lifting the cup to Yoichi’s lips. Yoichi obediently took a long sip of the disgusting liquid and didn’t even choke as he forced it down his throat.

Kudou was silent for a long moment, “So you are dying, then?”

Yoichi glanced up, ignoring the bright spots in his vision. Kudou didn’t meet Yoichi’s eyes as he set the cup by Yoichi’s nightstand.

“Are you worried?” Yoichi asked, his voice hoarse and cracking. “Will you be sad when I’m dead?”

“Funny,” Kudou didn’t smile.

Yoichi sighed, “I’m not going to die. Or, I will eventually, but not in the near future. My brother’s physician expects I have at least a decade left, as long as I don’t push myself too hard.”

“A decade?” Kudou repeated, his tone surprisingly somber. “I suppose that’s not so bad.”

“No,” Yoichi agreed. “Plenty of time, all things considered. Too much, some might even argue.”

“Who’s arguing that?” Kudou’s brows drew together and Yoichi knew he’d said too much. He must still have been feverish, or he never would have admitted to thinking anything like that.

“Prisoners,” the word came out of Yoichi’s mouth before he could think twice. “A decade locked away isn’t much of a life.”

Kudou leaned in slightly, like he wanted a better look at Yoichi’s face. In Yoichi’s feverish state, he saw two of Kudou, four crimson eyes staring straight through him, “Is that what you are? A prisoner?”

Yes. Yoichi leaned back into the cushions, shutting his eyes, “We’re all prisoners in some way, aren’t we?”

Kudou stared for a second longer before he tore his gaze away, “If you say so.”

Yoichi was grateful for the absence of his too-knowing gaze. When he looked at Yoichi like that, it was hard to keep his true thoughts hidden.

Kudou stared out the window, where the moon rose in a thin crescent over the turrets and high walls of the royal palace. His eyes were far away as he whispered, “Ever think about breaking out?”

“What?” Yoichi blinked in confusion.

“You could escape,” Kudou suggested. “From your cell.”

Yoichi coughed into another rag. It came away red, “How would I do that? You do know who my brother is, right?”

“I do, unfortunately,” Kudou offered a wry smile. “But he’s not omnipotent. There are places you could run to that he couldn’t reach.”

“Not on this continent,” Yoichi smiled back, watching Kudou’s own grin dropped away. Yoichi had thought the suggestion was just another of Kudou’s strange jokes, but Kudou’s expression was intent enough to make him laugh. He couldn’t possibly be serious. There was nowhere Yoichi’s brother couldn’t find him.

Kudou’s face shuttered, “I should let you rest.”

He disappeared out the window as quickly as he’d come, so that Yoichi wasn’t sure he’d ever really been there at all.

It was weeks before Yoichi was well enough to be back on his feet. During that time, his brother hosted multiple balls, but Yoichi was never strong enough to even attempt to leave his chambers. He was forced to lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking about his strange visit with Kudou.

Yoichi wasn’t fully convinced the whole thing was a strange dream. He still didn’t understand how Kudou had managed to climb through his window, or why he had asked Yoichi such a strange question. Running away? He couldn’t. Escape was a distant dream, hanging far from his reach.

Though he knew he’d likely hallucinated, Yoichi still held out hope he might see Kudou again. But Kudou never reappeared, even as an illusion. The only visitors to Yoichi’s bedside were his brother and the physician.

When Yoichi finally had the strength to sneak back to the balcony, he was desperate to see Kudou again. He missed his clever crimson eyes, his sharp-toothed smile, the cryptic way he spoke. He craved the sound of Kudou’s voice, harsh and brusque and so different from his brother’s saccharine false promises. The weeks confined to his chambers had given Yoichi copious time to think, and he had spent all of it dreaming of Kudou.

The balcony was empty when Yoichi arrived. His heart stuttered like a dying flame as he scanned his surroundings and saw no trace of Kudou’s ginger hair. Had Kudou stopped coming? Maybe he had found a better view someplace else.

“Yoichi,” a hand landed on Yoichi’s shoulder. Yoichi flinched hard, stumbling back with a yelp of alarm.

Kudou immediately pulled back his arm, his smile dying, “I’m…sorry. Are you—”

“Fine,” Yoichi gasped, heart pounding as he tried to hide the way his skin crawled at Kudou’s touch. “You just startled me.”

“I’m sorry,” Kudou said again, still watching Yoichi with a strange look in his eyes. Yoichi didn’t like it. Kudou was seeing too much.

Yoichi took another shaky breath, forcing himself to smile, “I’m glad you came. I missed seeing you.”

Kudou blinked, momentarily distracted from whatever he’d been pondering, “You’re better now?”

“Finally recovered,” Yoichi nodded. “I would have tried to come sooner, but my brother has been checking in on me every night. I didn’t want to risk it.”

“I see,” Kudou averted his eyes for a second. “Do they know what it is?”

“What?”

“Your condition,” Kudou clarified. Yoichi watched his jaw clench. “What is it?”

“It’s…just the way I was born,” Yoichi frowned. “I’ve always been weak, just as my brother has always been strong.”

Kudou glanced up, his eyes pinning Yoichi to the spot, “You’re sure?”

Yoichi blinked, “Of course I’m sure. My brother always summons the best physicians…” He squinted at Kudou, tilting his head confusedly. “Why are you asking?”

Kudou stared at him for a long second. He looked conflicted, like his words were stuck at the edge of his tongue.

“Just curious,” he finally said, glancing away.

Yoichi knew he was lying. He tried not to be bothered by it. Kudou had never pretended to be anything but aloof and secretive. He’d never let down his guard around Yoichi—at least not entirely. It was unfair of Yoichi to expect anything more from him, when Kudou had never demanded anything from Yoichi.

“My friend is hosting a ball soon,” Kudou said abruptly. Yoichi frowned at him, surprised by the sudden shift in topic. “I have to attend, as a favor.”

“That’s…nice of you?” Yoichi wasn’t sure what reaction Kudou wanted from him. “Will you have to dance?”

Kudou shrugged, “Probably.”

Yoichi sighed, “I wish I could see. I bet you’re a good dancer.”

“Hardly,” Kudou scoffed. “I don’t dance, if I can avoid it.”

Yoichi smirked, looking meaningfully from Kudou to the balcony he was hiding on, “I noticed.”

Kudou chuckled, but his eyes were strangely intent as he traced Yoichi’s smile.

“I hear the king will be riding out north that weekend,” Kudou said suddenly. Yoichi nodded. His brother had told him something similar. He was traveling north for a diplomatic meeting with the ruler of another kingdom. “Maybe you should come find me.”

Yoichi blinked, not quite understanding, “You mean…you want me to…”

“Come to the ball,” Kudou nodded, like his suggestion made complete sense.

Yoichi stared, “I can’t.”

“Why not?” Kudou asked, as if the answer weren’t painfully obvious. “Your brother will be far away. How would he know?”

“The guards will tell—”

“You sneak by them already, to come here,” Kudou pointed out. “What’s the difference?”

The difference was astronomical. Yoichi had never left the palace grounds, and Kudou was asking him to walk out the door like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“It’s another masked ball,” Kudou was telling him. “You could come in disguise. No one would recognize you.”

“I can’t,” Yoichi repeated.

“You could easily ride over in one of the royal carriages,” Kudou continued like he hadn’t heard. “If you look like a noble, no one will dare question you. It will be easy for you to—”

“I can’t,” Yoichi exclaimed, heart speeding up anxiously in his chest. Kudou’s head jerked up as Yoichi’s voice rose, eyes wide with surprise. He didn’t get it. Why couldn’t Kudou understand? “If I get caught…”

Yoichi trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. He stared at the ground, unable to meet Kudou’s eye.

“If you get caught…then, what?” Kudou repeated. His voice was hushed and soft. “What happens to you?”

Yoichi glanced up at him, helpless, “My brother won’t like it if I leave.”

His voice sounded small and weak and afraid. Yoichi hated the sound of it, but Kudou’s eyes softened, his expression as gentle as when he talked about the lakes of his homeland, “Then forget I said anything. We can keep meeting here. I don’t mind.”

“You’re sure?”

“I told you,” Kudou reminded him, staring with eyes that cut through every wall Yoichi tried to hide behind. “I like the view.”

Kudou told Yoichi he was content with watching from the balcony, and Yoichi believed him entirely.

That didn’t mean Yoichi didn’t yearn for more.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Kudou’s proposal, how Kudou had made everything sound so simple. Yoichi could just…leave. Just walk out the door and grab onto everything he’d ever wanted. The way he talked, so full of easy confidence, Yoichi almost believed it was possible.

It wasn’t. Yoichi knew it wasn’t, knew his brother would never let it be. And yet, he dreamed of dancing anyway.

It was a perilous thing. Kudou had taken ahold of him, and showed Yoichi a whole world with his words. Yoichi’s mind was forever etched with pictures of rolling hills and crystal-clear lakes and exotic fish with blue scales. Each time he looked at Kudou, he saw it all in the softness of his crimson eyes, and he couldn’t stop himself for longing to see more of it.

He tried to stop it, tried to remind himself that freedom was only meant to be admired from afar, but he couldn’t. It was impossible to remember the dangers of dreaming when his mind was full of Kudou.

Yoichi wanted to see Kudou’s eyes, wanted to hear his voice. He wanted to watch Kudou dance, just one time, from not so far away. He wanted it badly enough to risk everything.

So he did.

The night of the ball, he did exactly what Kudou suggested to him. He dressed in disguise, wearing an old, borrowed costume and a silver mask with a headpiece of feathers to distract from his white hair. It was just enough for Yoichi to pass as a nobleman, but nothing too gaudy. He didn’t want to attract any unnecessary attention.

He took a carriage over from the palace, arriving at the ball at a neighboring manor with surprising ease. No one questioned him on the ride over, and he managed to slip through the main entrance without attracting a single odd look.

The ball was out in the expansive gardens that stretched across the property grounds. It was not so ornate as his brother’s events, but breathtaking in a different way. A natural beauty, with flickering torchlight illuminating blooming flowers. Yoichi drew in the sweet scent with delight, feeling the breeze against his face.

He’d done it. He’d left the palace. Yoichi could scarcely believe it.

Someone pushed by him, knocking into his shoulder, and Yoichi flinched backward into the hard stone of the wall. The manor was already crowded with people, mingling together and laughing as they drifted toward the dancefloor. There were so many bodies, so many more people than Yoichi had ever been around before. Even through the long sleeves of his clothing, his skin tingled from the proximity, his breath coming quickly as he tried to adjust to the overwhelming pressure of the crowd.

He pressed himself against the outside wall of the manor, eyes traveling across the garden as he searched for a familiar head of ginger hair. He was still fighting with the urge to turn and flee back to his room before he put himself in any more danger, but even stronger was a sense of exhilaration. Yoichi had left, and no one had stopped him. He was standing on a dancefloor, and no one knew who he was.

No one but Kudou.

Where was he? Yoichi knew the pressure would lift when he saw Kudou, when he laid eyes upon the one person who would know his face.

The band began to play a lively waltz, and Yoichi watched as couples made their way to the floor. It was so much more captivating to watch from up close. The women’s skirts billowed out as they leapt and spun, sparkling in the lamplight. The music was so much louder and richer. The people were so much more real.

Yoichi was transfixed.

And then he caught a glimpse of ginger hair.

Yoichi’s heart stuttered. Kudou was standing on the other side of the room, wearing a dark, metallic mask that obscured the scar across his forehead. He was talking animatedly to a tall man with silver hair tied back, his eyes flashing with amusement.

Yoichi smiled as he watched Kudou talk, wondering absently what he might be saying. It was so easy to tell when Kudou was excited about something. He couldn’t hide it, as much as he tried to come off as cold and reserved.

Yoichi pushed himself off from the wall, wondering how he could catch Kudou’s eye. Would Kudou even recognize him in his disguise? Yoichi doubted it. He hadn’t even told Kudou he was coming. The nobleman wouldn’t know to look for him.

As Yoichi took a step forward, the man with the silver hair grabbed Kudou’s arm. Yoichi stiffened, watching him drag Kudou over to a striking woman in a gray-blue ball gown. She smiled widely at them as they approached, her eyes lingering on Kudou in a way that made Yoichi uneasy. His unease only deepened when Kudou smiled back, flashing the sharp-toothed grin Yoichi had inadvertently become so attached to.

He stepped backward again, pressing himself back against the wall. Kudou was enjoying himself. Yoichi wouldn’t interrupt.

But he still couldn’t help himself from staring. The woman was laughing as she twirled a spoon around inside her cup, leaning far closer to Kudou than Yoichi thought was appropriate. Yoichi’s stomach twisted with something unpleasant as she laid a hand on Kudou’s arm.

Was this…flirting? Yoichi had never seen it in person, but he’d read about it enough to know the signs. If Kudou was flirting, did that mean he was interested in this woman…as a wife?

Yoichi’s stomach clenched. He’d never thought about Kudou taking a wife before. It made him distinctly uncomfortable. If Kudou took a wife, Yoichi doubted he’d have time to visit the balcony. And if they ever had children, Yoichi could give up on seeing Kudou again. Yoichi wanted Kudou happy, of course, but he didn’t want to lose his only friend.

He turned away, unable to watch their interactions without feeling slightly ill. He watched the couple nearest to him on the dancefloor instead, following their movements through the next few songs. They were wonderfully in sync, both of them deeply attuned to the other’s movements. When the woman jumped, the man always caught her. Yoichi wondered absently if it was practice that had allowed them to reach such a level, or just a deep awareness of one’s partner.

“Wintertrout eggs, My Lord?” Yoichi jumped, taken by surprise by the servant who had appeared by his left shoulder. He took a small cup from the servant’s platter, waving off the man’s profuse apologies for scaring him.

Wintertrout eggs? Kudou hadn’t told him the eggs were edible. Yoichi glanced back across the floor, but Kudou and the woman were gone. He scanned the room until he spotted the noblewoman’s full skirt. Of course. They’d moved to the dancefloor.

Yoichi shoveled a large spoonful into his mouth as the band started the next song, trying to overpower the bitter taste on his tongue. They were so salty it almost worked. He’d wanted so badly to see Kudou dance, but he’d had never thought about what it would be like to see Kudou so close to someone else. In Yoichi’s head, Kudou’s partner had always been a shadowy figure, features obscured.

There was nothing obscure about the way Kudou’s hand wrapped around the woman’s waist, his other hand reaching hold the woman’s own. They started to move, perfectly in time to the music, and it became evident once again that Kudou was a liar. He was a very talented dancer, his steps filled with the type of lithe grace that no amount of practice could teach. Yoichi couldn’t stop himself from watching Kudou move, even though half of him longed to see anything else.

He watched for the entire song, barely even daring to blink. It was transfixing, seeing Kudou move like that. As the music slowed, Kudou spun his partner around, coming far too close to the spot were Yoichi lurked.

Their eyes met. Yoichi bit down hard on his mouthful of fish eggs, wincing as his teeth accidentally sank into his tongue.

His mouth filled with the bitter taste of blood, but he hardly noticed through his mix of fascination and horror. He’d thought Kudou wouldn’t notice him with the mask, but recognition had dawned on Kudou’s face nearly instantaneously.

Yoichi tore his gaze away, finally finding the strength to retreat. He disappeared back into the crowd before Kudou could entrap him again, ducking out into an alcove off the lined hedge pathway. Yoichi shut his eyes, leaning his head back against the cool stone. His face felt too warm. He hoped he wasn’t getting a fever again.

“That you, Princeling?”

The voice was low and soft, surprisingly close by. Yoichi nearly banged his head on the wall as he straightened, poking his head out into the hallway. Kudou was standing only a few feet away, scanning the hallway with a confused expression. It softened as he spotted Yoichi.

“You can’t call me that,” Yoichi hissed, grabbing his arm and pulling him into the alcove. “Someone might hear.”

Kudou stared down at him and Yoichi realized he’d misjudged the size of the alcove. The two of them barely fit. Kudou couldn’t stand at his full height, leaving him to hunch over with his head bent towards Yoichi. He was so close Yoichi could feel the heat of his body.

“You came,” Kudou lifted his mask, looking stunned. He was so close Yoichi could see every shade of red in Kudou’s eyes as his long lashes fluttered against the skin of his cheeks. He stared at Yoichi like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“I shouldn’t have,” Yoichi grumbled, still trying to hide the heat that had crawled across his cheeks. Had Kudou noticed him watching back in the ballroom?

Yoichi froze as Kudou reached up towards his face, fingers fiddling with the edge of his mask. He remembered himself just in time to slap Kudou’s hand away before he pulled the mask off Yoichi’s head, “Don’t mess with it. It took forever to get it to hide my hair.”

Kudou frowned, lowering his hand, “I want to see your face.”

Yoichi was glad his mask covered most of his face. His skin was burning hot enough that he was sure he looked bright red. The way Kudou’s mouth wrapped around the request seemed almost intimate, though Yoichi knew he didn’t mean it that way.

“Not a good idea,” Yoichi muttered, looking away. “If anyone were to recognize me—”

“I know. You’re right,” Kudou’s eyes glittered in the dim lighting. “But I know a place where they won’t.” His lips turned up at the corners. “Come with me.”

He reached for Yoichi’s hand, but Yoichi pulled away before he could grab on, “What about the dance?”

Kudou shrugged, “We’re not leaving. Not entirely, anyway.”

“What about—” Yoichi hesitated, bracing himself. “Your dance partner. She’ll be expecting you, won’t she?”

Kudou hesitated, brows knitting together in confusion, “Why would she be expecting me?”

He seemed genuinely perplexed, though Yoichi wasn’t sure why. The way they’d been acting together matched everything description of flirting Yoichi had read. Why try to flirt if you weren’t interested in marriage?

“I thought…you might want her to be your wife,” Yoichi admitted, not quite able to meet Kudou’s gaze.

Kudou’s brows quirked upwards. Yoichi thought he spotted a hint of amusement on Kudou’s face, which only made him more flustered.

“I suppose it would be a good match. She’s a fine woman,” Kudou mused. The familiar lurching sensation crept back into Yoichi’s stomach. “But marriage isn’t of interest to me at the moment.”

“Oh,” Yoichi’s lips parted in surprise. He wondered at Kudou’s answer. As far as Yoichi could tell, Kudou was in his early twenties. That was the age most men began to settle down and take wives. As the lord of a major region, Kudou should be motivated to arrange an advantageous marriage.

He opened his mouth to ask another question, but the touch of Kudou’s hand distracted him. His skin tingled as Kudou’s fingers intertwined with his own.

“Shall we go?” Kudou asked, his grin full of promise as he pulled back down his mask.

Yoichi was too distracted by the feeling of Kudou’s skin to answer. Kudou’s hand was warm around his own, his fingers squeezing Yoichi’s own between them. The sensation sent a strange prickling feeling up Yoichi’s arm and down through his skin.

To his immense surprise, Yoichi didn’t hate it. In fact, it was almost exhilarating to soak in the warmth of Kudou’s hand. It was a completely new sensation, and yet it felt like something he’d always been missing.

Kudou stepped out of the alcove, guiding Yoichi into the hallway. He pulled Yoichi into a thin corridor off to the left and up a twisting staircase. At the top of the stairs, he ducked between two potted plants, using a key around his neck to open up a wooden door that Yoichi never would have spotted without his guidance.

The door creaked open slowly. A cool breeze kissed Yoichi’s face as he stepped through, sounds of the party growing louder. Yoichi could hear the music swell from somewhere below, accompanied by voices raised in merriment.

Kudou carefully released Yoichi’s hand, letting Yoichi step out onto a large wooden terrace. It was far more expansive than the balconies at the royal palace. The left and right railings were tall and entangled in the same vines that climbed up the wall behind Yoichi, small white buds just beginning to open on the thickest stems.

Yoichi pulled off his mask, peering out over the rail in front of him. They were a story above the patio where the rest of the visitors had gathered. From where Yoichi stood, he had a perfect view of the dancefloor and the garden beyond, lit by flickering lamps. It was a much-improved version of his secret balcony in the royal palace.

“Beautiful,” Yoichi murmured in awe, leaning over the railing to watch the couples swirl around in perfect sync. From this angle, he could see everything, but they couldn’t see him unless he leaned out far enough for his head to be spotted.

Kudou joined him by the railing, casting him a cautioning glance, “You’d better not fall again.”

Yoichi scrunched up his nose. He was still trying to forget the embarrassing moment when they’d first met, back when Kudou had needed to save him from falling off the balcony.

“’Course I’m not going to fall.”

“Good,” Kudou just grinned, still staring out at the view below. “So, you like it?”

Yoichi smiled, “It’s amazing. How did you discover it?”

“Same way I found your balcony,” Kudou shrugged. “I looked up.”

Back when they’d first met, and Yoichi had asked how Kudou had found the balcony, Kudou had given a similarly vague answer. Something about looking around that didn’t seem entirely plausible. Yoichi tried not to be offended that Kudou was still keeping secrets.

He nodded, enjoying the feeling of the breeze in his hair as he leaned over the railing. He rocked back and forth on his heels, watching the couples break apart, shuffle, and reconvene as the band finished a song and started another. The new song was upbeat and unfamiliar. Yoichi recognized most songs, but this one never played at his brother’s balls.

Kudou tilting his head to listen, smiling slightly, “This is one of ours. It’s from the lakes—one of the first dances you learn in the eastern regions.”

“I’ve never heard it before,” Yoichi admitted. “It’s nice.”

“I can teach you,” Kudou offered, smiling invitingly. Yoichi blinked in astonishment. “It’s not hard to learn.”

Yoichi searched his face for the usual teasing smirk. He couldn’t spot even a spark of humor in Kudou’s crimson eyes. His heart sped up in his chest, “I don’t— I can’t dance.”

“That’s alright,” Kudou shrugged, still so sincere. The earnest look in Kudou’s eyes made him feel unusually flustered. “I’ll lead.”

“I— But we’re—” Yoichi swallowed, his throat dry as he waited for Kudou to take back his offer. For obvious reasons, Kudou’s offer was absurd. Maybe he just hadn’t realized.

Kudou just raised his eyebrows, not seeming to catch Yoichi’s meaning even though he was too astute not too. Yoichi wondered if he was being purposefully obtuse. He held out his hand, “Don’t think so much, Yoichi. You want to learn, don’t you? I know you like to watch.”

Yoichi flushed, glancing at the dancefloor then back at Kudou’s hand. His brother’s warning flashed in his head, but Yoichi could barely hear it. One dance wouldn’t kill him, most likely. And Yoichi wanted to know, just once, what it was like.

He reached out and grabbed Kudou’s hand.

Kudou guided him to the center of the floor, lifting Yoichi’s hand up to his shoulder. He grabbed Yoichi’s other hand in his own, resting his free hand just above Yoichi’s hip. That same tingling sensation Yoichi had felt in the alcove crept back across his skin, even more intense than before. Kudou was so close and his touch felt more intimate, somehow. Yoichi could feel the heat radiating from Kudou’s body.

There was something intoxicating about the way it burned.

“Is this alright?” Kudou’s voice was a low whisper. He bent his head to meet Yoichi’s gaze, eyes glittering deep red. “I know you don’t like to be touched.”

Kudou had never brought that up before. Yoichi had hoped it was because he hadn’t noticed, but he should have known better than to think there was anything Kudou’s eyes wouldn’t catch.

“I—” Yoichi stumbled over his words, struggling to focus through the overwhelming feeling of Kudou’s skin against his own. “I don’t mind so much, if I know it’s coming.”

That wasn’t completely true. Abrupt, unexpected touch was what truly bothered Yoichi, but he tended to find it easier to avoid touch altogether. It was better if Yoichi didn’t allow himself to be put in a situation that caused him to reveal how much sudden contact upset him.

With Kudou, though, Yoichi couldn’t bring himself to create his usual distance. For some inexplicable reason, Yoichi had grown accustomed to Kudou’s presence enough to actually want him close. That had never happened with anyone else.

Kudou nodded, “Tell me if it’s too much.”

Yoichi was grateful that he didn’t pry further. Kudou only tightened his grip on Yoichi’s hand, “First step is back with your left foot. Here, in time with the music.”

Yoichi tried to relax, letting Kudou guide him through the steps. Yoichi knew he was clumsy and horrible, but Kudou was a patient teacher. He never complained when Yoichi stumbled into him or stepped on his feet, only gently corrected him and urged him onwards.

The music ended before Yoichi gained much confidence with the dance, but he found himself reluctant to let go of Kudou. The band started another song, this one more familiar to Yoichi, and he was relieved when Kudou didn’t let go of him either.

The new song was slower and sadder than the one before, beautiful in a mournful way. Kudou pulled him closer, his voice soft against the wind, “Here, step closer to me. I’ll guide you.”

Yoichi cautiously tried step closer without touching Kudou any more than he already was. He wasn’t sure what was appropriate, and he was already burning up inside from just where Kudou held his hand, from the pressure of Kudou’s hand on his hip. He shifted back on his heels to create some distance, but he was caught off balance the moment Kudou took a step forward, wobbling as his weight shifted backwards.

Before Yoichi could let go of Kudou’s hand to steady himself, Kudou’s grip tightened around Yoichi’s waist. He pulled Yoichi back towards him to keep him from falling, shifting Yoichi’s weight forwards. Yoichi stumbled into his chest, his face momentarily buried in the soft fabric of Kudou’s jacket.

Yoichi gasped in surprise, his heart hammering in his chest. He’d never been so close to anyone before. If his brother saw, he’d probably kill them both right there. Yoichi knew he should let go, but Kudou was so warm and being near him felt so enthralling. Yoichi wanted to stay close to him more than he cared about the risk.

Before he had a chance to regain focus, Kudou was moving. He took slow steps in time to the music, allowing Yoichi time to grow accustomed to his movements. To Yoichi’s astonishment, in this new position, it was actually much easier to balance. Kudou’s arm around his waist was supporting more of his weight, allowing him to adjust more easily to Kudou’s movements. He relaxed slightly, letting his head rest against Kudou’s chest as the music swelled around them.

Kudou moved so gracefully that Yoichi stopped worrying about slipping. He leaned into Kudou, feeling the wind in his hair as Kudou spun them around.

“I can hear your heartbeat,” Yoichi murmured, his words nearly swallowed up by the breeze.

He felt Kudou look down at him, shifting slightly, “I can feel yours, too. It’s beating fast.”

Yoichi flushed, though he wasn’t sure why. His fluttering heartbeat was likely due to the physical exertion of dancing. As his brother had warned, his body wasn’t used to it.

Kudou must have come to a similar conclusion, because Yoichi felt him tense, “You’ll tell me if it’s too much for you, right?”

Yoichi nodded, though he wasn’t sure he would be able to keep his word. He already felt short of breath, his heart hammering in his chest, but it didn’t feel nearly as terrible as usual. Instead, it was strangely exhilarating. Despite the risk, Yoichi didn’t want the feeling to end.

Luckily, Kudou didn’t seem to notice. He hummed along to the music, moving to it like it was second nature to him. Only as it began to die away did he slow his movements, finally coming to a stop. Yoichi lifted his head to look up at Kudou. He didn’t move to step away, still unwilling to let go of Kudou’s hand.

Kudou didn’t make any effort to move either, his body still brushing against Yoichi. His eyes were almost reflective as he stared down, “What do you think?”

“W-what?” Yoichi stammered. There was an intensity to Kudou’s gaze that had him struggling to form coherent sentences.

“What do you think of dancing?” Kudou’s face softened with amusement. “Is it everything you imagined?”

Kudou wore his usual easy smirk, but it didn’t match the emotion in his eyes. He was watching Yoichi too carefully, like he was deeply invested in his answer.

Luckily, it was an easy question.

“It was amazing!” Yoichi breathed, unable to keep a wide smile from his face. “Only, you lied again, Kudou.”

“I did?” Kudou looked momentarily bewildered.

“You told me you weren’t much of a dancer,” Yoichi reminded him. “But that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Kudou laughed, “I said I didn’t dance much, not that I was completely helpless.” He grinned at Yoichi. “You weren’t so bad yourself. Keep practicing and you’ll have the first one down.”

Yoichi scowled, though they both knew he wasn’t really offended, “Now you’re really a liar.”

He knew he was terrible. Yoichi was completely uncoordinated compared to Kudou. As much as he enjoyed it, dancing felt as if he’d just discovered he had legs and had no idea how to use them. He didn’t understand how people could reach the level of talent Kudou seemed to possess.

“You weren’t so bad, for it being your first time,” Kudou shrugged. “When I first started lessons, I couldn’t take a step without tripping.”

Yoichi found that hard to believe, but he appreciated Kudou’s praise anyway, “I’ll keep working on it, then.”

“Good,” Kudou nodded approvingly. “I expect you to surpass me next time.”

The thought that there might be a next time left a warm feeling in the pit of Yoichi’s stomach. He ducked his head to hide his smile, his forehead brushing against Kudou’s chest. Kudou took a small step back, “Sounds like the band is taking a break. I’ll walk you back in.”

He paused, glancing down in surprise. Yoichi didn’t understand why until he looked at his own hand. When Kudou had moved away, he’d released his grip on Kudou’s shoulder to grab onto the front of his jacket, scrunching the fabric in his closed fist. Kudou couldn’t move away with Yoichi holding him so tightly.

Yoichi flushed. It had been an instinctual reaction. He just hadn’t wanted Kudou to leave him. For the first time in his life, he was completely content with watching from afar. It was so much more enjoyable when he wasn’t alone.

He swallowed, his tongue feeling unusually thick and awkward in his mouth, “Or we could stay here. Just a little longer.”

Kudou arched an eyebrow, something unreadable flashing across his vision, “Aren’t you worried about your brother?”

“The guards said he left for the north this morning. He won’t be back until tomorrow,” Yoichi answered. His brother’s departure was one of the only reasons he’d dared to sneak out. His destination was a long journey up into the mountains. Yoichi doubted the King would travel both there and back in a day.

Kudou looked thoughtful, “My dance partner might wonder what’s become of me.”

Yoichi released his grip on Kudou’s jacket, his stomach sinking. He felt like a fool. Of course Kudou would want to return to the beautiful woman he’d been dancing with. He’d probably just been waiting to make his escape, “Right. Of course. I wouldn’t want to keep you—”

“I’m joking, Yoichi,” Kudou’s teeth flashed, his eyes glittering red. “I didn’t come here for her.”

Yoichi wasn’t sure he could move. His limbs felt very odd, like a current of energy was running through them. His heart fluttered in his chest again, and this time he couldn’t blame it on the dancing, “What do you mean?”

Kudou’s smile widened, “I love my friend, but he could never force me to attend a ball like your brother could.” Yoichi stared at him in confusion. “I only came so that on the off chance you showed up, you wouldn’t have to dance by yourself.”

Yoichi felt even more petrified. Kudou had come…for him? That meant that the balcony, the dancing—Kudou must have planned it all. For him.

He swallowed, “Are you…teasing me?”

“Is that what you think?” Kudou arched an eyebrow. He looked surprisingly earnest, no trace of humor in his dark eyes. Still, though, it was too considerate to be anything but an elaborate joke. There was no reason for Kudou to do something so nice for him.

“I guess I’m a little confused,” Yoichi admitted, meeting Kudou’s eye. He still couldn’t identify the strange emotion that flickered across Kudou’s vision. “I think you’re telling the truth, but I don’t understand why…”

He trailed off, hoping Kudou would understand what he was trying to express. Kudou nodded, “You don’t understand what I stand to gain, right?” He shrugged. “Who’s to say? Maybe I want something from you.”

Yoichi blinked. He hadn’t expected Kudou to admit to it so easily, “What do you want?”

Kudou scoffed lightly, though his eyes glinted with some hidden meaning that Yoichi couldn’t quite decipher, “I can’t just tell you. Besides, it only works if you want it too.”

Yoichi furrowed his brow, wondering if Kudou was expecting him to work it out from just that single, vague clue. If he did, he was going to be disappointed. Yoichi had no idea what Kudou meant, “I’m supposed to figure it out then?”

The wind stilled as Kudou stepped forward, lowering his face until it was just in front of Yoichi’s. He was so close Yoichi could feel the warmth of his breath against his skin. Yoichi froze as Kudou smiled wide enough to show his canines, eyes darting to Yoichi’s lips almost fast enough to miss. Yoichi shivered. His body was so warm he almost felt cold.

Kudou’s eyes flashed back up to his, and Yoichi was frozen again. There was something hypnotic about the way Kudou’s eyes only glinted red in the places where the light hit. Yoichi leaned in without even realizing it, tracing the reflection of the lamplight in Kudou’s eyes with his own gaze. His mind felt warm and hazy, not quite able to bring his body under its control. It was like he was under some enchantment where logical thought was somewhere just out of reach, though Yoichi wasn’t sure he’d want to reach for it even if he could.

Kudou must have noticed Yoichi’s helplessness, because his expression softened. He let his hand fall from Yoichi’s waist, reaching for Yoichi’s face. He moved slow enough for Yoichi to see him coming, for Yoichi to step away if he wanted to. Yoichi didn’t move, letting Kudou carefully tuck a strand of hair behind his ear.

Kudou’s fingers were soft against his cheek, his touch gentler and kinder than Yoichi imagined was possible. His voice was soft as his knuckles brushed against Yoichi’s jaw, “Don’t worry about it too much. There’s no rush.”

 Yoichi couldn’t help it. He leaned into Kudou’s touch.

Kudou’s mouth parted in surprise as Yoichi murmured, “I want to know. There’s not much you could ask for that I wouldn’t be willing to give.”

Kudou swallowed, some inner conflict swirling behind his eyes. His voice was strained when he spoke, “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“Then show me,” Yoichi whispered.

The wind began to blow again. It weaved its fingers through Yoichi’s hair, sending silver-white strands flying past Kudou’s fingers. Kudou didn’t seem to notice, his crimson eyes intense and unblinking as they stared. He leaned forward slightly, angling his head down until his face was even closer to Yoichi than before. Yoichi felt heat spark inside him, accompanied by a rush of something else. His eyes flickered down to Kudou’s lips. He wanted to be even closer. He wanted…

“Yoichi,” Yoichi shivered as Kudou’s mouth formed his name. Kudou’s voice was rough, like it was taking all his concentration to hold himself back, “Tell me if—"

Yoichi closed the distance.

His lips met Kudou’s mid-sentence, Kudou’s mouth still half open as it tried to form his question. Kudou stiffened and for a second, Yoichi was nearly overtaken by fear. His heart pounded in his chest, blood rushing through his ears. Maybe he’d misunderstood the situation. Maybe Kudou hadn’t wanted—

Kudou kissed him back.

His lips were soft against Yoichi’s, but there was urgency in the way he tangled his hands in Yoichi’s hair. He pulled Yoichi closer and Yoichi was lost in the feeling of his lips, of his skin against Yoichi’s own. His heart was hammering. He could barely breath. He never wanted it to end.

Yoichi made a small noise of protest as Kudou pulled back to breathe. Kudou only smiled against his lips, “You taste like Wintertrout.” Yoichi tensed in embarrassment, but Kudou just breathed a laugh, cupping Yoichi’s face in his hands,

“Reminds me of home.”