Chapter Text
Peyton paced.
Her shared home was so clean that it sparkled and Clara had left for her shift a few hours prior. Peyton had to go back to work in the morning, but she was terrified of going to sleep. These not dreams were plaguing her and she didn't want to experience them anymore. Whatever they were, they couldn't be good and she really didn't need her consciousness wandering off to some other realm. Or whatever it was that was going on.
The cut on her hand was still a visible, pale pink and Peyton rubbed at it as she made another lap around the couch.
“Ok,” she muttered to herself. “I haven't had any apple juice today and got plenty of exercise cleaning, maybe I won't dream.”
Her pacing came to a halt as she gazed into the adjoining kitchen and spied the cabinet that held both hers and Clara's vitamins. Peyton frowned, her right leg bouncing in anxiety as she thought.
“Maybe a little NyQuil wouldn't hurt.”
Part of her felt guilty as she poured the recommended dosage into the small plastic cup. But really, she reasoned, she wasn't addicted to the stuff. Some people did crazier things for a good night's sleep. It wasn't like she was going to make a habit of it.
The sharp green liquid left a bitter tang on her tongue as she downed the medication in one quick shot. She grimaced as it settled in her stomach and was reminded of how little she enjoyed cough syrup in the first place.
“Here's to hoping.”
Peyton prepared for bed slowly, going so far as to brush her hair a hundred times in an attempt to stall. But eventually the time and medication joined forces and she slid under her sheets trying not to think at all. She set her alarm for ten minutes early and turned the volume all the way up.
[]
“Have you been listening to a word I'm saying? Focus, Peyton; this is important.”
Peyton jerked, her back hitting something solid and she blinked and took in the room. She found herself surrounded by rich wooden bookcases, countless books, and an irritated woman in a pantsuit. She was sitting at a table now. Open books and loose paper were spread around her and Peyton groaned.
“Not again.”
“You will do it until you have it mastered. Now once more, tell me what a merger is.”
Peyton looked down at the handwriting on the paper in front of her and guessed she was probably somewhere around the sixth grade based off the penmanship.
“A merger is the combining of two or more companies. Usually one company surrenders their stock for securities in the the acquiring company. It's a mutually come to decision by both parties. Can I go now?”
The woman appeared stunned by her answer and Peyton wondered at how this conversation had been going beforehand.
“I suppose so. But be here after your last class! We still need to practice proper dinner behavior.”
Peyton scrambled out of the chair and bee-lined it to a set of double doors. It seemed in this world she was still being subjected to some sort of pretentious schooling.
She was hungry, now that the lady had brought up lunch, and she wondered fleetingly if she'd ever be able to find the cafeteria. Or kitchen, or dining hall, or whatever this uppity school boasted.
Cliques of students passed her by, a few even waved, but Peyton recognized none of them. Something in her bra buzzed and she yelped while desperately trying to pull the object out from a crisp, white button up blouse. It was a small flip phone.
Oh gosh; a flip phone.
Tentatively she opened it and put it to her ear.
“Hello?”
An equally young, feminine voice responded to her.
“Peyton! Where are you? We're saving a table. Don't tell me you got kept from lunch again!”
Oh no, she was supposed to be friends with this little girl and she was already flustered enough to be irritated just by her tone of voice.
“Um, I'm on my way,” she said. She glanced around the hall for some sort of direction but found nothing. “Don't wait for me though,” she added, “I-uh- might be a second.”
The girl on the other end scoffed in either amusement or annoyance.
“We never do!”
Peyton scowled as she snapped the flip phone shut. Whoever possessed this body when she wasn't here had awful taste in friends.
A flash of something caught her eye and Peyton turned to see a brief glimpse of a familiar face under a ball cap turn a corner. She perked up at the idea of seeing the only person she sort of knew and took off after the person.
“Lex? Hey, Lex!”
It took a few calls, but he finally slowed when she caught up with him. He turned to face her in what seemed like reluctance and Peyton lost enthusiasm at the impatient look on his face. She slowed to a halt and felt suddenly unsure as he frowned at her.
“What do you want, Peyton?”
“I, um, sorry, is something wrong?”
He almost glared at her, and Peyton wasn't sure how to proceed. She hadn't seen this kid in what were years to him. Perhaps she had been being a bit presumptuous in assuming he'd welcome her warmly at all.
“Usually you want something when you're talking to me.”
Her mouth dropped open in dismay at his statement and she took half a step back as the information sunk in.
“Oh.”
So this other “Peyton” probably fit in with these other rich kids rather well. The thought dismayed her, and her eyebrows tugged together and lips twitched down before she tried to smooth out the expression. Lex scoffed and shook his head, Peyton reached for his shoulder just as he was turning to walk away.
“Hey, listen. I'm sorry,” she said, “for whatever sh- for how ...I act.”
He twisted to look at her, his expression was still guarded, but surprise flickered in the depths of his gray eyes. She assumed that apologizing wasn't something this girl did often. After a moment's hesitation, he shook off her hand and nodded.
“Sure; whatever.”
Peyton let him walk away after that. She felt more confused than ever. It was like she had been sucked into some Mean Girls twilight zone and couldn't escape. She really tried not to think about the fact that she was taking over someone else's life every time she woke up here.
Someone else who had the exact same name and face as her?
Peyton shook her own head and started walking in the opposite direction down the hall. There still wasn't any signage pointing in the direction of the cafeteria, and she wandered the halls longer than she would have liked searching for it. Eventually she followed a group of chirpy teens and finally came to a set of arching double doors with the scent of fresh bread and rich meat wafting out through the seams of the doorframe. By then, it seemed a lot of people were leaving and she rushed to fix a plate and wolf the food down.
Why was she hungry in the first place? She never ate late at night. Or, rather, she'd already eaten before going to bed.
It was much later than the allotted lunch hour when Peyton finally found her way back to the library she'd first found herself in. She had no idea what this girl's class schedule was supposed to be, and consoled herself with the thought that one day of absence wouldn't derail the girl's education.
Truth be told, she was only planning on staying in the library until classes were obviously released for the day. She wasn't feeling up to learning “dining etiquette” for an afternoon when it had no real impact for her. She'd gotten her high school diploma and then some. She'd earned her meager adult freedoms!
Instead she tried to look through the science section of the library, as well as the selection they had on brain functions, to see if they had any different information on what may be happening to her. After three hours of poring over page after page until her eyes felt bloodshot, she still came up with nothing. She'd actually become sidetracked by a series of articles about a meteor shower that had struck a small, country town years ago when the school rang its last bell for the day.
At the sight of students starting to file out of the library, Peyton remembered that the tutor would be back soon and expecting her. She still didn’t want to have to deal with them. She left all the books she gathered on the table and darted out of the library and into the busy hall. Following the flow of students to find the front doors of the school was easy. It was once she reached the exit that she realized she had no idea where she was going. Peyton didn’t know where she was supposed to live, she had no keys or a book bag or ID card to help her.
“Peyton!”
Swiveling around at the sound of her name, Peyton was able to spot a brunette girl making a beeline towards her. She paused to let the girl catch up and noticed she was carrying an extra leather tote. The scowl on the girl’s face made her a bit uneasy.
“What the hell, Peyton? You skipped lunch and ditched the rest of your classes and didn’t even tell me? I had to carry your bag around and everything, because I’m just a great friend like that. What were you doing? If you went and had fun without me-”
Peyton pulled the bag from the girl’s grip and interrupted her mid rant.
“I didn’t go anywhere,” she said. “I, uh, just needed a break today?”
The girl scowled and her, her lips twisting up in a doubtful pout as she squinted up at Peyton.
“Then where are you going,” the girl asked. Her tone was accusing and Peyton bristled. “You always go back to the dorm to change out of these dumb uniforms. Where’re you off to in such a hurry?”
Oh! A dorm! Peyton supposed that made sense for how big the school looked and how much families probably paid to keep their kids here. She hesitated only a moment.
“Looking for you! Obviously. Thanks for getting my bag. I can’t believe I forgot it.”
“Hopefully you two didn’t forget about the party tomorrow night.”
A new voice joined the conversation, and this was was distinctively more masculine. The brunette girl adopted a dreamy, doe-eyed look and Peyton shifted to see a blond boy leering at them in a way that was supposed to be charming. Even if she hadn’t experienced this school, the boy’s whole demeanor screamed “privileged”. There was just something in the way he held himself that said he was good-looking and knew it and knew that girls knew it. Peyton tilted her head to the side.
“Party?”
The girl next to her tried to subtly elbow her in the gut.
“Of course we haven’t, Oliver! It’s all anyone’s been talking about all week; we’ll definitely be there.”
His grin widened and he winked cockily at them. Peyton tried not to look like she’d just sucked on a lemon.
“Good to hear. I’d hate if you ladies missed it.”
The girl who was supposedly her friend smiled like a madwoman as Oliver left, followed by a gaggle of teens. He was probably one of the richer kids at this school. Or the most charming. Peyton wasn’t exactly sure how these social hierarchies worked. When the group was out of hearing range she was assaulted by a few frustrated slaps from the girl next to her.
“Party?” The girl mocked Peyton’s questioning tone. “What were you thinking? Now is not the time to be playing hard to get!”
“Ow! Knock it off. What are you talking about?”
“We finally get invited to a party, and not just a party! No! An Oliver Queen party, and what do you do? Almost blow it by acting like you’re too good to even remember it’s a thing.”
Peyton grimaced and shifted as the students around them thinned.
“Can we talk about this back in the dorm?”
The girl’s head popped to attention as he eyes darted around the courtyard, as if someone might have been eavesdropping and nodded.
“You’re right. There might be professors around. Come on.”
She did just what Peyton had hopped and pulled her eagerly along by the elbow. Peyton smiled smugly when the girl couldn’t see.
Back in the dorm room, Peyton waited until the girl made it obvious whose side of the room was who’s before she dropped her bag on a bed.
So they were roommates, then? There were a lot of pictures tacked to the wall of them together. Peyton wasn’t sure how long she could go without using the girl’s name when, to her relief, she saw a polaroid with “Annalise + Peyton = BFFS” written on the bottom of it.
Annalise began changing out of her uniform, and Peyton followed suit. Although a bit dated, all articles of clothing were obviously top of the line and the most fashionable for the year. She settled on the simplest pieces she could find, some jeans and a flowy blouse.
“But for real,” Annalise continued as she checked her own flip phone. “You’ve been weird today. You’re not freaking out about Oliver noticing you, are you?”
Peyton's face skewed.
“Ew.”
“Ew?”
Annalise spun around and stared at her as if she’d just proclaimed that she hated puppies and kittens.
“Did you just say ‘ew’ about Oliver Queen? Who you’ve been practically drooling over all year? You’re the one who made sure we got into this party! An eighth grade party. Do you know how hard that is for us lowly seventh graders?”
Quickly, Peyton smoothed her expression out and sighed.
“I meant ‘ew’ as in ‘ew, how could you ever see me spazzing out?’”
She took a gamble with that assumption, but she figured any girl who was bold enough to charm an older peer had to have some level of confidence. Annalise continued to look disbelieving.
“Right.”
Peyton ignored the look. What did it matter to her? She wouldn’t be dealing with this girl for much longer, and she definitely wouldn’t be here by the time the party rolled around tomorrow. In fact, she was hoping to hear her alarm clock any moment now.
Of course it refused to go off now that she wanted it to.
When evening rolled around and Annalise informed her it was dinner time, Peyton kindly declined. The girl had been talking incessantly since they’d walked in the room, and she didn’t think she could handle another hour over food. It appeared that this Peyton actually kept a stash of food in her desk, and she told the friend that she was eating in tonight. There was homework to be done if she wanted to go to that party, because her parents were really on her back about college.
She didn’t think Annalise bought it, but she didn’t care. Peyton actually felt tired, which was weird if she was sleeping and this was a dream. If she doubted it wasn’t truly a dream before, she was having trouble with convincing herself of it now.
When Annalise left, begrudgingly alone, Peyton dug through the other her’s dresser until she found night clothes and showered. She tried not to look too long in the mirror. It still weirded her out to see herself as a child again. It wasn’t natural.
For the rest of the evening she snacked, snooped, and loitered. Really, her alarm should have gone off by now. Shouldn’t it? It had been hours. Surely the amount of time passing in her world was an entire night by now. She still wasn’t sure how the timelines matched up. Every time she came back here, years had passed.
She really didn’t have a choice but to wait it out. But her stomach still rolled with every passing minute and she gnawed on her lip with every blink that didn’t reveal her blaring alarm clock or popcorn ceiling.
“Maybe I just need to sleep?”
Sleeping seemed to be what got her here each time, but not back out. That part was irregular and unpredictable. But still, it was worth a shot. And if there was a curfew at this school then Annalise had probably chosen to ignore it.
Peyton crawled onto the bed that was supposed to be hers and tried to curl up under the thick comforter.
She closed her eyes.
There was music. Peyton groaned and reached out to smack the off button on her alarm. Her hand met air, though, and she frowned with her eyes still crusted shut. Peeling them open, she was met with the sight of a dancing thirteen year old girl who was trying to sing while putting on mascara.
Peyton felt suddenly cold under the hot bedding.
“Oh good, you're up.”
She could feel her mouth open and close stupidly without producing any sound. Light shone in from the small window across from the bed and birds chirped happily in morning song.
“No. No, no, no!”
Annalise rolled her eyes.
“Sorry.”
She turned down the music and sat huffily at her vanity, apparently deciding to give her the cold shoulder. Peyton didn’t notice and wouldn’t have cared if she had.
Throwing off the comforter, she dashed to the connected bathroom and clutched the sink as she stared into the mirror. Wide frightened eyes, a rounded face that lacked the mature cheekbones she grew into, and gangly limbs were reflected back at her.
She was still in her thirteen year old body. She was still in this world that wasn’t hers. This couldn’t be happening! That feeling creeped back up and lodged itself in her throat: the room was too small, a guillotine was about to fall across her neck, she had no control over anything.
Running off panicked reflex, Peyton slammed the bathroom door open and darted out of the room in nothing but a pair of sweats and a loose shirt. Out of the room, down the hall, out of the building, and out onto the grounds. Soft yellow light spilled onto the damp grass and that post dawn silence still hung over the atmosphere as she ran until she collapsed under a nearby tree. The preppy school was still here. She was still here. She was still here and it was wrong, wrong, wrong!
Peyton felt like a new rug had just been pulled out from under her. And instead of falling onto the floor, she was falling down a pit with spikes at the bottom. Her pounded an unsteady rhythm as she buried her face in her knees and tried not to cry.
She couldn’t afford another panic attack. She had to figure a way out of this and make it stop happening!
“What happened?”
Peyton snapped her head up. She hadn’t seen anyone in her mad dash out here, and she didn’t think she was so out in the open to be instantly noticeable to passersby. But there were legs in front of her that led up to a familiar face.
“Lex?”
He shifted, as if unsure, and looked around before lowering himself next to her. Peyton watched him still not really able to feel anything other than panic.
“You’re crying,” he said. “I’ve never seen you do that before.”
She wiped at her eyes and, sure enough, a few tears smeared on the back of her hand. Peyton didn’t know what to say. Her bottom lip quivered so she bit down on it, harshly. Lex’s eyes were burning a hole in the side of her face as she sat silent. After a moment he scoffed.
“I don’t know why I thought you’d act any different.”
Peyton saw him move to stand out of her peripheral vision and something hot and panicked shot up her spine. She didn’t want to be alone. He was just a kid…. But still; she didn’t know anyone else.
“I’m scared.”
He paused a few feet away and turned back to look at her. His eyes were sharp and searching, pouring over her face and probably looking for any trace of lie. Peyton tried to shake off the tightness in her muscles and ease up on the pressure of her fingernails digging into her palms.
“I’m not who you think I am, okay?”
Lex sat back down next to her at that.
“What are you talking about? This better not be some prank or-”
“It’s not,” she insisted. “Ugh, what am I doing? You’re just a kid!”
She saw the frown that tugged at his lips. He seemed in thought or remembrance for a moment before he spoke again.
“You’ve called me that once or twice before and I’m older than you. What’s going on?”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
Why was she doing this? This rich kid couldn’t help her. There was no excuse for her to use him like this, emotional breakdown or no. He didn’t know she was really in her twenties. What she needed to find was an actual adult. Preferably one with a science or mental health background. He grabbed her arm after she’d started to zone out again.
“I’ll believe you,” he said. “You can tell me.”
Peyton made the mistake of looking him in the eyes.
She was taken back to the first time she’d met him; he’d been so small then, but he’d had the same look in his eye: a sad, hopeful gaze that hinted at desperation. There was still a gaping need in this kid’s life, and nothing about this school or these people were filling it. He wore a baseball cap at all times and in all places, it seemed. That could only mean the bullying hadn’t stopped. And whoever Peyton was when she wasn’t here didn’t seem to be helping any.
His expression told her he was eager to listen, maybe even eager to help. Her lips twisted upwards the tiniest bit. It seemed he’d kept that heart she’d seen in him before.
“Please.” He prodded.
His almost vulnerable tone and her desperation sealed it.
Peyton told him all the information she knew. And it sounded crazy, but Lex sat quietly and listened. Still, she felt no relief at the end of her story. If anything there was just guilt. Because she was a grown woman and she shouldn’t be burdening this kid with her problems. She knew better. What could he do for her? Nothing.
“I shouldn’t have told you all that,” she said after a moment of silence. “Hey, never mind, just for-”
“You’re saying that you’ve been here longer than the other times?”
Peyton stiffened and gave Lex a look. She couldn’t tell if he believed her or was mocking her. There was no real reason for him to believe her. No one in her world would. And lord knew she was going to get a cranial exam first thing if she’d ever just wake up.
“Yeah.”
He nodded as if just accepting that answer and Peyton’s face skewed to the side in confusion.
“You don’t actually believe me do you? I just told you the craziest story anyone has probably ever heard.”
Lex shrugged.
“I’ve seen weird things before. I got caught in a meteor shower, remember?”
“Not quite the same.”
“Well,” he continued on without care for her scathing dismissal, “did you do anything different before bed? Something that might’ve made you stay longer?”
Peyton shook her head.
“I cleaned, read, brushed teeth, normal stuff. And-oh. Crap. I wonder-”
“Wonder what?”
He sat up straighter and leaned forward, Peyton shifted back and shot him a look that was meant to say “chill”. And then she grimaced.
“I might’ve taken some NyQuil to try and sleep...deeper. Hey! Don’t judge me, okay? I was desperate. Still am.”
Lex was quiet a moment longer; Peyton could tell he was really thinking about something.
“So, the first time I met you, and when I first came back after ...the accident, those were you?”
“Yes.”
“And every other time has just been some other Peyton? She never mentioned missing chunks of time, or waking up in an adult body.”
Peyton shrugged.
“I have no idea. I still might just be crazy and hallucinating all this.”
“Or,” he suggested, “maybe you're supposed to be the real Peyton, but you got mixed up.”
Peyton didn't find that plausible and told him so. Best case scenario she was having some hallucinations that she could take pills for. Worst case, she was stealing a young girl’s body every time she showed up here. Peyton groaned and rubbed at her face.
“I just want it to stop.”
“I like you better.”
She snorted through her nose lightly and shot him a close lipped smile.
“Well, thanks. I really am sor-”
Lex was gone. She was staring up into the frightened face of her roommate as Clara shook her forcefully.
“Peyton? Peyton! Please wake up- Oh thank goodness!”
She blinked in dazed confusion and her eyes slid over to her alarm clock. It read two thirty-five.
She was so fired.