Chapter Text
Levi sighed as he leaned against the cool brick wall. His whole body ached from the day's stress and his head pounded. He drained his beer and a groan. No matter how much he drank, his mind wouldn't be still. Why wouldn't Erwin listen to him? It's not like he was being unreasonable asking him to stay back. He was just looking out for Erwin's best interest and the best interest of everyone else. Why was he the only person that seemed to care about the well-being of the commander? Maybe I should just break his legs, he thought. At least then he couldn’t throw his life away like this. Stupid bastard. Stupid, selfish-
Familiar voices cut his drunken fuming short. It was Mikasa, Armin, and Eren. What are the brats still doing up? Fuck it, I can’t be bothered. He leaned his head against the wall and tried to shut them out. They sounded so damn happy. How could they be happy before embarking on a dangerous mission? Didn't they realize what was at stake here? What was there to be happy about? Instead of passing on, they sat on the steps, reflecting on life as if they were grown up. Levi didn’t care. Not tonight. Eren was opining about the power of friendship and how they were stronger together. God, this brat thinks he knows everything sometimes. Petra taught him about all that shit and now he’s passing it off like it’s his own idea to impress his girlfriend. What a joke. He stopped listening after that. He briefly lost himself in thought.
“Alright then!” Armin exclaimed, “Let’s start by finding the sea! I can tell you still don’t think it’s real, Eren. You’ll see, it does exist!”
“Heh, ok fine. I guess we’ll have to check it out then.” was Eren’s humoring reply.
Levi heard Armin’s excited rambling, continuing to convince his friend that they would explore the outside world and find a bunch of places that Levi had never heard of. It ended with Eren promising to go find the sea. Or something like that. The kids seemed to move on after that, leaving Levi with their conversation ringing in his ears.
God damn these stupid brats and their stupid dreams. God damn everyone and their stupid dreams. He drained his beer and threw his mug against the wall across from him. And God damn you, Erwin Smith.
Squad Leader Erwin Smith gazed out his office window. Sunshine flooded the courtyard below, casting shadows between the surrounding pillars. Birds’ songs wafted through the air and the scent of fresh cut grass filled his nose. If only he didn’t have a mountain of paperwork on his desk keeping him office-bound. How he longed for a world without Titans, responsibilities and this god-damned paperwork. It will all be worth it one day. Erwin let out a long sigh and closed his eyes for a moment.
Chattering of scouts below caught his attention and his eyes followed the group below. They laughed and jostled each other, one or two shouting about something. Ah, to be so care-free. At least they can have days like today when we aren’t working them too hard. A lone scout trailed behind the group, his eyes turned up to the sky. The scout’s small stature and permanent scowl were unmistakable.
Levi
Erwin paused with his eyes transfixed on the new recruit. It had been 2 weeks since that day. 2 weeks since Levi had stared him down with pain and anger in his face. 2 weeks since Erwin had asked Levi to help him save humanity. 2 weeks since Levi joined the cause for real. From the start, Erwin found the thug fascinating. A self-taught ODM user? He didn’t think it was possible. The memory of the way he moved and evaded Erwin’s men like it was nothing flooded Erwin’s mind. It was a wondrous sight to behold. Since then, Levi had only proved himself more talented than anyone-including Erwin-could have imagined. After defeating those Titans, he gained more respect from everyone. Despite the respect, trust did not follow suit, with several still harboring misgivings about the former criminal, including their commander. Sure, Shadis respected Levi’s abilities, but he was not sold on Erwin’s “pet project” as he called it. It was fine in the beginning. The commander had been one of Erwin’s most vocal supporters before the expedition. Since that day, however, things had changed.
“The man is a liability, and no amount of killing Titans will change my mind.” the commander stated earlier that day.
Erwin interjected, “But sir-”
“You made a bet and for now, it’s paying off. I’ll grant you that. He has already shown that he doesn’t work in a team. He’s a liability and I refuse to force him on my squad leaders any longer! What happens if he decides to turn on us again? You saw it coming last time, but will you be able to see it next time?”
“He’s not going to turn on us again. He didn’t have a choice last time but now he has no reason to get bought off.”
“He has a bad attitude and he’s a loner. That’s a bad combo if you ask me. He hasn’t even been through the proper training like everyone else.”
“He’s had all the training he needs from his life underground.”
“Listen, I like the guy, really I do, but no one wants to work with him after they found out about the little scheme to kill you.”
“Is that the only reason for all this?”
“What are you implying?”
“He’s talented and worth a whole squad of scouts in and of himself. Who cares if he’s difficult to work with?” Erwin replied, “If they are afraid he’ll try to kill them, then give him to me. I trust him.”
“You have other duties to attend to, Squad Leader.”
“Let him join my squad. I’ll monitor him. The soldiers in my squad trust me enough to trust Levi. At least, they will have to.”
“We agreed that the Underground recruits would be handled by others. You’re too close to this to be objective. How do I know you won’t let him walk all over you?”
“With respect, I’m not the only one biased in this situation.”
“You forget yourself, Erwin.” Shadis shot back, his face flushing.
“Begging your pardon, Commander, but I don’t think I am.”
“How dare you come here and question my objectivity? You are a brilliant man, Erwin. I have trusted you with more than I would trust anyone else under me with and you have handled it admirably. Without you, we wouldn’t even be here. However, you’re not infallible. Levi is a blind spot for you. Anyone can see that.” Shadis said.
“Sir, we need men. Our people die in expeditions, eroding trust and funding. Levi is a lone wolf, I will grant you that, but he can care about his comrades and work with others. Both you and I know he is the best natural-born soldier we have ever seen in our ranks.”
“If he cannot improve, what then? Hmm?” Shadis crossed his arms in front of his body. “No matter how talented he is, if he keeps getting people killed because he can’t be a teammate, it counts for nothing.”
“So? We lose more soldiers. And possibly the best soldier we will ever have.” Erwin said. “Since when do you have a problem with sending people to their deaths, Commander?”
Shadis opened and closed his mouth before sinking into his chair with a sigh. “Fine. He’s your responsibility from now on. Erwin, if he becomes a liability and scouts lose their lives because of him, it’s on you.”
“Thank you, Sir.” Erwin replied with a nod and walked to the door of the commander’s office.
“Erwin?”
“Yes, Sir?” Erwin paused with his hand on the doorknob.
“I want Levi to be successful as much as you do. Your plan is good. I just hope it pays off.”
“Thank you, Sir.”
With that, he’d departed the commander’s office. A grin spread over his face and his heart danced in his chest. He had wanted Levi on his squad from day one. Shadis’ excuses had been feeble at best and Erwin’s waiting game had finally paid off. It was only a matter of time until Levi would be allowed on Erwin’s squad.
Erwin smiled to himself as he turned back to his work. He would tell Levi personally later, when he got the chance. The thought of working up close with this extraordinary man sent electricity surging through him. His mind raced at the possibilities. His brains, and Levi’s skill? The Titans wouldn’t see it coming. Where others saw a common criminal from the Underground, Erwin saw someone who gave him hope for the future. He was almost superhuman.
Still, Erwin pondered, does he resent me for making him join the Scouts? Despite his efforts, he couldn’t shake off this persistent thought. Sure, it wasn’t like Levi would be the first to hate him. Plenty of people did already. But with Levi, it was different. I’ll have to ask him later. A commander must have the absolute trust of his soldiers, after all. Yeah, that was it. He was Levi’s superior officer and thus should have his respect and trust of this was going to work.
The moon glowed in the clear night sky. It was still early enough in the year that the evenings brought a chill. Levi sat on his rooftop perch, as he usually did on nights like tonight. Out here, he was closer to Furlan and Isabel.
It had been 2 weeks since that awful day. 2 weeks since he came face-to-face with true evil. 2 weeks since his world turned upside down. 2 weeks since the only one who had kept him from falling was the one person he had wanted dead more than anything in that moment. Funny how fast things change. They’d laugh if they could see me now. They wouldn’t be able to believe that I actually want to work for the Scouts or that I would want to save humanity. Levi could still hear Isabel’s giggle. He knew she would giggle if he could tell her what had happened since that day. If only he could hear her call him Bro one more time. Before, it annoyed him so much, but now...
A familiar voice brought him out of his thoughts.
“Ah Levi, there you are.”
Erwin’s imposing form stood in the doorway, backlit by lamps in the passageway behind. Levi’s mouth went dry and he averted his gaze.
“Sir.” Levi said.
“May I join you?” Erwin asked, closing the distance between them and settling down beside Levii. “I’m glad I finally found you. I wanted to speak to you about something important.”
“Oh, yeah?” Levi’s pulse quickened.
“Yes. I spoke to the commander today, and I have convinced him to let you join my squad.” Erwin said, his gaze piercing through Levi’s very soul.
“Guess It’s my lucky day.” Levi said with a huff.
“Indeed it is; for both of us I’d reckon.”
“Damn right,” Levi said, his eyes drifting to the moon above. “Why now?”
“It seems that ever since the others found out you wanted to kill me, they’ve been too afraid to have you on their team,” Erwin replied.
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Silence fell between them and Levi wondered why Erwin shifted and fidgeted beside him. Is this idiot nervous around me because I wanted to kill him? He’d been so calm when I had a fucking sword to his throat.
“For you to be on my team, I need your implicit trust. I can’t have soldiers who can’t follow orders.” Erwin said after a few more beats of silence. “So, I need to ask you, do you resent me for bringing you into the scouts? I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”
The question took Levi aback. Nobody bothered to ask about his feelings on anything. He did what needed to be done and he was either hated or thanked for it-usually the former. He squinted at Erwin, trying to read his stoic face. Erwin’s gaze was steady and unflinching, his eyes great pools as blue as the sky-just like they were on that rainy day. This wasn’t a power trip. The squad leader wanted to know.
“What happened to no regrets?” Levi asked, keeping a close eye on Erwin’s expression.
Erwin bowed his head with a smile. “Hmh, well, I don’t regret making you join us, if that’s what you’re asking. I’ve always believed you to be a brilliant fighter. However, that doesn’t mean that you share the same feelings.”
“What does it matter what I feel?” Levi asked.
“It matters to me,” Erwin replied, his voice sending shivers down Levi’s spine.
“Well, I can’t argue against that stellar logic I suppose.” Levi replied, rolling his eyes. He paused for a moment, looking out over the wide-open spaces below. Do I resent him? He pondered. He turned his gaze back toward the expectant Erwin. Those eyes. Those damn blue eyes. Why do they make me feel so at home? Why do I feel like I can trust him? I’ve never trusted anyone like that since-no not even Kenny.
“No, I don’t resent you.” He said, finally. Erwin let out a breath and his face relaxed. Had he been nervous about Levi’s answer? “But that doesn’t mean I won’t later.”
“I am sure that I will have earned it,” Erwin replied with a smile.
“Tsk.”
More silence fell as they digested the new information before Erwin spoke again.
“Levi, I have confidence that you and I can accomplish remarkable things together. In this fight for humanity, you are the soldier we need, and fighting with you would be an honor.”
This man’s earnestness surprised Levi for the second time that night. His eyes widened ever so slightly. Who just comes out and says shit like that anyway?
Erwin stretched out his hand. “What do you say, Levi? Will you follow me to hell?”
Levi took his hand in a firm shake.
“I will, Sir. I’m going there, anyway.”
“Good,” Erwin said as he stood. “Oh, and Levi?”
“Yes, Sir?”
“Drop this ‘Sir’ nonsense. Just call me Erwin.”
“Sure thing Erwin.” Levi feigned a salute.
Erwin smiled and nodded.
“Good night, Levi.”
“Good night, Erwin.”
The night wore on and Levi remained watching it pass, sleepless as ever. However, he was not battling personal demons this time. He played the conversation over in his head, recalling every minute detail of Erwin’s expressions. A giddiness welled up inside him that he tried to push away. You’re being stupid, Levi, he told himself. He just asked you to join his squad, that’s all. He’s probably just concerned because he blackmailed me into it. But those damn gorgeous eyes, boring into his being lingered in his mind. Surely, Erwin didn’t take this much care for all his men. Levi shook his head at his own foolishness. You are such a damn idiot.