Chapter Text
“My boss’s boyfriend broke up with him.” Lucius sits on the barstool and sighs.
“The usual?” Ed asks. Lucius works in porn and always orders a pornstar martini. It was a joke, at first, but Lucius discovered he liked the drink.
“Please.”
Ed grabs a few bottles. “Why is that your problem?” All Ed knows is that he works for some kind of porn startup and that his boss sounds kinda insane. He starts pouring the ingredients into jiggers and adding them to a cocktail shaker.
“We’re launching this week.” Lucius sighs. “It’s ethical porn, you know? Sorta amateur. Sam was all set to be part of it, but he broke it off, and now Stede doesn’t have a partner.”
Ed frowns in confusion. “Your boss is doing it too? And I thought it was instructional porn?”
Lucius shrugs. “Little of both. And yeah, Stede wants it all to be real-life partners, and now he doesn’t have one. They filmed some stuff, but Sam won’t let us use it—just as well, he wasn’t very good anyway.”
“How do you know?” Ed asks.
Lucius smirks. “My boyfriend does the editing.”
Once he has his drink, Lucius goes on to talk about the new site in more detail—it’s meant to help people explore their desires and potential kinks without the awkwardness of most scripted porn. His boss, Stede, came out in middle age after divorcing a woman and found porn unsatisfying. Regular porn lacked an emotional component, and instructional porn was often very dry. So he quit his job and found some folks willing to join in the filming with their partners and to help build the site and work on the socials.
Ed is fucking fascinated. “So he decided he should just… What, quit his job and go into porn himself?” Who the fuck does that? He’s suddenly dying to meet this Stede guy himself. Ed has been on camera himself a few times, though it was never distributed beyond his current partner at the time. Always really got off on it, though. Amateur porn–I could do that.
Too bad Ed doesn’t have a partner at the moment, either.
Lucius nods. “Yeah, and it sounded like more fun than my old job as his EA.” He pauses to sip his drink. “But now we’re going to be short of some content without the stuff he and Sam shot. But Sam’s a stick in the mud, I’m not surprised he broke it off with Stede. Anyway, Stede’s gonna shoot some solo stuff to make up for the missing content.”
Sam sounds like a stupid prick, giving up a guy brave enough to start his own porn site. Stede seems like a lunatic, and Ed’s always had a fondness for lunatics. Ed’s eager to see what the site is all about.
Ed clears his throat and asks, super casually, “Hey, you mind sending me the link when you launch?” He is dying to know how this turns out.
“Welcome to Buy Our Booty! Ethically made porn featuring real folks, including some instructional content. We fuck it through, just for you! I’m Steve, and I’ll be your camboy here today.” The blond man sitting on the bed frowns. “Cam man? Not sure I can still be called a boy,” he mutters. He smiles brightly again. “Cam gent, perhaps! We’re here today to learn about anal beads for solo play!”
Ed laughs—they could have edited all that out, but they didn’t, and he’s charmed.
Ed is freshly showered and naked in bed and, as always, his brain is buzzing too much for him to fall asleep right away. A good wank will usually do the trick, so he decided to check out the link that Lucius sent him earlier. Unlike most porn sites, which are just pretty basic—wall-to-wall cocks and holes—it has adorable pirate theming. Ed zeroed in immediately on the one solo video available so far, assuming that would be Lucius’s boss. His curiosity about the man has been insatiable; he’s the most interesting person Ed has heard of in ages.
The man on the stream is… Well, he’s incredibly fucking hot, solidly built with insane legs and an even more insane cock. Even soft, it’s impressive. More than just being hot, Stede seems to glow from within, like he is absolutely thrilled to be teaching the world about anal beads today. Ed knows his way around some anal beads, but he’s thrilled to allow himself to be instructed on them by this man.
That Sam guy who dumped Stede must be an idiot.
Stede winks at the camera (so dorky yet so hot somehow) and says, “If you’re watching this just for fun, skip ahead about five minutes.” Ed is tempted to skip ahead, but Stede is too interesting—he’s so animated when he talks, and so nice to look at, that Ed doesn’t mind waiting for the good shit.
Stede starts by talking through the set of beads he’s chosen, a basic blue silicone set, not too big or long. He gives an overview of why he chose this brand and particular model; he’s even taken factors like ergonomics and cleanliness into consideration. He recommends a different set for beginners and addresses myths about anal training. He also talks through the particular brand of lube he’s chosen. Ed actually makes a note of the information for potential future purchases, since it’s clear that Stede’s done his homework, and he notes that the website has not and will not accept any sponsorships, so his opinions are unbiased.
Once Stede finishes talking through the products, he reclines on the bed, spreading his legs to expose his pretty, unwaxed (nice) hole to the camera.
“You may want to warm up with some prostate massage,” Stede says as he applies some lube to his fingers. “I like to start with the perineum.” He pulls his knees back further and begins to rub his taint with his middle and index fingers. He throws his head back and moans, full-throated and unashamed to indulge himself for the world to see. He’s got a little silver chain around his neck. Ed can easily imagine pulling him close by the chain for a sloppy kiss.
Ed’s cock is already responding eagerly to Stede’s demonstration. If that’s how Stede sounds when he’s just beginning, Ed’s in trouble. He scrambles for his own lube in the bedside drawer. As Stede rubs himself and moans, his cock visibly plumping, Ed takes himself in hand and starts to stroke himself lazily. Not too fast, though, since he doesn’t want to get there before Stede does.
Ed can easily picture himself as the one rubbing Stede’s taint and making him moan, to be the person who slips a finger inside his tight little hole and moves it in slow circles. Sweat is already beading on Stede’s chest as he touches himself, and Ed would lick it off him and suck at his nipples—the pinkest, most tempting ones Ed’s ever seen.
Stede’s cries turn harsher when he, presumably, starts rubbing his prostate. Ed’s own hand moves a little faster over his cock. As porn goes, it’s pretty tame so far, but something about this guy and his unbridled enthusiasm is doing it for Ed. If this guy is fairly new to cam work (from what Lucius said, he is), then he’s a natural.
Ed wishes he could meet this guy and pick his brain. Talking to Stede would be fun, he thinks. What he’s doing here is fascinating, not to mention that he’s hot as hell.
Smiling at the camera, Stede picks up the anal beads, and all the thoughts fly right out of Ed’s head. He’s pretty when he smiles. Ed wishes he were the cause of that smile as well as the filthy noises Stede makes. “I think I’m warmed up enough now,” Stede says. He starts talking about the importance of using enough lube as he applies more to himself and rubs some very carefully onto each bead. “I’m not sure if I’ll take all of these today. I suppose I’ll see how frisky I’m feeling!”
Frisky. Ed can’t believe he’s attracted to a man who uses that word unironically. But oh, he is.
Stede rolls onto his front and then gets his knees and one hand, adorably flat ass facing the camera. “You can enjoy the anal beads on their own,” Stede says as he teases at his hole with the first bead, “but it’s usually more pleasurable with stimulation of the cock—you can use another toy, but for today, I’ll use my hand when the time, er, comes.” He gives the camera another cheeky wink over his shoulder. “Start with just the tip, and go slow. If it’s your first time, deep breathing can help.”
[A sketch style piece by poorlyformed. Stede is seen from behind, on his knees and one hand, and his other hand is inserting anal beads. His face is seen in profile and he is winking.]
Stede inserts the tip of the first bead, audibly gasping at the sensation. Ed has to stroke himself faster and faster as Stede inserts the first two beads, explaining how they feel best when they’re moved in and out. “Fuck, I feel so full,” he growls between beads, his voice hitting a lower register that goes straight to Ed’s cock. “The space between beads provides both relief and—” he starts inserting the next one—“anticipation. Give yourself time to get used to each one.”
Eventually, Stede has inserted every single bead. “This doesn’t feel as good with the more traditional stringed beads, but I like them better—you can fuck yourself with these.” He starts moving them in and out of himself, moaning loudly. Ed feels a sudden rush of heat and nearly comes on the spot—he has to squeeze the base of his cock to avoid it.
Stede is panting now, but he manages a few more words. “Now if you’re a beginner, you may not know this, but the trick is to pull them out slowly as you come—it feels incredible.”
That’s true. Ed wishes he had some beads to hand so he could do this along with Stede. Maybe he will the next time he—inevitably—watches this video again.
As Stede starts to stroke his cock in earnest, fucking himself with the beads, Ed is fucking his own fist in a similar rhythm. “Ah, yes, I’m close, I’m—” As Stede starts pulling the beads out, his words become incoherent sounds. Ed’s fucking his own fist too as he watches Stede start to come, his back arching as he shoots all over his belly.
Ed follows a moment later, heat flowing through his dick as he comes over his own fist.
Ed’s too busy coming down from one of the most intense orgasms he’d had in a while to register what Stede says once he sits up—he notices only how Stede is beaming with pride.
“… I was meant to have a partner, but that didn’t work out.” He makes an adorably annoyed face, nose scrunched up. “So I’ll have some more solo videos for you for a while. You can check out some of our lovely partner videos…”
While Ed’s looking forward to anything Stede puts out, it’s sort of a shame that he doesn’t have a partner. He’d be curious to see what they’d get up to.
They said it couldn’t be done, not by him, anyway, but by golly, Stede Bonnet has done it—he’s launched a porn website! They’ve even had a few subscribers in their first few days, likely mostly friends of his and the other contributors, but it’s a start! They’ll need to add a lot of content over time to build up their subscriber base, but Stede has enough capital to float the operation until that happens.
The only downside to the whole experience thus far has been Sam’s frankly rude and ill-timed dumping. He thought Sam was into the idea of the site, and that they’d been rubbing along together just fine, though Stede supposes he’s been rather preoccupied with work lately. Sam had made a few snarky comments about all the stuff Stede was buying for filming at home: cameras, lights, microphones.
"Production values are crucial!" Stede argued. "We want people to feel like they're really in the room with us!”
Stede couldn't fully make out Sam's muttered reply to that.
The last straw, as it happened, was the special toy Stede bought for them to try. He was very excited about it–he probably spent a bit more than he should, especially with all the other expenses for the site, but it turns out Stede can’t resist fancy, top-of-the-line merchandise, even when it comes to sex toys and paraphernalia.
When the thing arrived, Stede set it up and gave it a spin while Sam was out at work. Stede made him cover his eyes when he got home, until he let him into the room where it was set up.
“Surprise!” Stede cried when Sam stopped covering his eyes.
Sam tilted his head. “What is that thing?”
“A premium sex machine! What would you say to trying that the next time we film?”
Sam turned on his heel and walked out of the room.
In the end, it wasn’t a big fight. Sam calmly told Stede that he was having second thoughts about starring in amateur porn, especially since he was due for a big promotion at work. Stede offered to edit Sam’s face out, but he shrugged. “I don’t want to try all this weird stuff, Stede. And I don’t want to shoot porn. I liked our sex life the way it was.” He sighs. “I was willing to try–you know I was. For our sake. But it’s just not for me.”
Well. Sam had been too stiff (not in the desirable way) on camera anyway, so it was just as well they broke up. Stede was happy to agree to delete the files of everything they filmed together. The two of them clearly want different things out of life, and it was far better to figure that out after only a year of dating than to let things get even more serious.
After years trapped in a comp-het marriage, Stede wants to try everything he can, sexually.
Now that the initial shock is past, Stede finds he doesn’t miss Sam at all, which is telling. He supposes he should not have stuck with the first person he dated seriously after coming out, but he was afraid of being alone at his age. Afraid, too, that no one would want to be saddled with a middle-aged baby gay. Now Stede has to start all over again, or else get used to being alone.
The problem is that now Stede has little hope of getting to do everything he wants to try. He’s not built for casual sex. No, Sam was not a fit, but the idea of trying to find a new partner, someone who shares his interest in kink, is daunting.
The idea for the site originally was to feature couples or partners—unscripted sex being had by people who want to have sex with one another, in any event. Well, at least there’s Lucius and Pete, and Jim, Olu, and Archie. They all work on some aspect of the site as well as creating content, and each owns a share of the company. Stede, as one of the investors, owns an extra share, as does his co-investor, Jackie. Jackie has said that she and some of her husbands may submit videos too. The more, the merrier! Stede wants there to be a wide range of all types of folks participating.
He sighs and refreshes Buy Our Booty’s Bluesky page (they won’t go near Twitter). Another follower!
That brings them up to twenty-seven. Appropriately enough, the new follower’s handle is blackbeard-1980. A fellow pirate lover! Out of curiosity, Stede clicks through.
The account doesn’t have much—the person must be a lurker. At the top of the feed, there’s a selfie of a gorgeous man about his own age in a purple tee shirt who has the most stunning hair—and eyes, and skin, and lips, and tattoos—that Stede has ever seen. Simply looking at the man sends a shiver of pleasure down Stede’s spine. To think that someone this attractive is interested in Stede’s little porn startup!
Just then, a text comes through from Lucius.
Lucius: You’re coming to the Kraken tonight - be there at 7
Stede: There’s so much to do 😭
Lucius: You’re working too hard!
Lucius: We had a successful launch - you should celebrate that
He’s right. Stede has been working very hard, and some socializing would do him some good. Though he doesn’t miss Sam (surprisingly so), he does miss having someone around to talk to.
When Stede gets to the Kraken that night, Lucius accosts him as soon as he gets out of his car. “Wait till you meet the owner.”
“Lucius! Is this a setup?” Stede is ready to turn around and leave. He had pulled this sort of thing before Stede got with Sam.
“No, I wanted you to come out tonight—you’ve been cooped up in your sex room for too long. Alone.” Stede rolls his eyes as Lucius continues, “But the best way to get over someone is to get under someone new. A hookup would be good for you, and this guy is hot.”
Stede groans. He’s never been good at the hookup thing, for all his enthusiastic interest in sex. People find him strange or awkward. Even if he does find someone to sleep with, it’s a one-off. Stede’s not about to get into kink scenes with one-night stands.
“I don’t think that’s for me,” Stede says.
“Why not? It’s a time-honored response to being dumped–”
“I wasn’t dumped! We mutually agreed!”
“Whatever. Fine, just come have a drink, you can ignore the guy if you like.” Lucius smirks, like he knows a secret. “But it’s normal to want to get laid, you know.”
“There’s nothing normal about my situation,” Stede says under his breath as he follows Lucius. He is quite aware that coming out in his forties, divorcing his wife, and starting a porn site as a kind of private “fuck you” to his late, conservative asshole father is not what most people think of as normal.
As Stede enters the bar, he tells himself that he will ignore the supposedly hot owner. He can’t fuck just anyone! He doesn’t find just anyone attractive! He likes to get to know them a bit first, most of the time.
When he and Lucius get up to the bar, there appears to be no one there. Lucius gets up on his toes and leans over the bar. “Hi, Ed,” he says to the empty air.
“Fuck!” a man’s voice yells. A moment later, the owner of the voice pops up from behind the bar, where he was apparently crouched down. The man catches sight of Stede and tosses his long, silvery tresses over his shoulder.
He’s wearing a black mesh top and what look to be obscenely tight leather pants.
He’s also familiar. “Blackbeard!” Stede blurts.
The man grins at Stede, the skin around his whiskey-colored eyes crinkling. “You’ve heard of me?” he asks, amused.
Stede is flustered. He will have to admit to looking at the beautiful man’s Bluesky page, but then again, Blackbeard did follow his account first. “I, um, saw your account—you followed us today?”
Blackbeard leans towards Stede across the bar. “That I did. Name’s Ed. And you’re Stede.”
“You’ve heard of me?” Stede squeaks in surprise.
“Oh, I’ve heard of you. I’ve heard all about you.” His eyes dip down to Stede’s chest. Stede thanks whatever deity exists for the fact that he’d worn a tight button-down shirt today and left a few buttons undone. “I’ve seen you, too,” Blackbeard—Ed—adds. “Your–your site, I mean. I like your site. I like what you all are doing.”
“You—oh!” Stede’s a little slow on the uptake, likely due to being stunned by this man’s beauty. It turns out that hot had been a tremendous understatement. This is surely the most attractive human he’s ever been privileged enough to behold. Lucius thinks this ethereal creature would want to hook up with Stede? Stede has learned to appreciate his own looks well enough, but surely he doesn’t hold a candle to this man.
Ed is speaking, but Stede hasn’t heard any of it, so stunned is he, which is quite rude. “I’m sorry, please say that again?”
“Was hoping to pick your brain. I’m fascinated by the whole thing.” He smiles a bit sheepishly and leans closer to Stede. “I don’t have a partner right now, not sure if you need more solo content, but–”
“Yes!” If Ed wants to do something for the site, Stede would be foolish to refuse. “I’m happy to discuss it with you, if you like!”
“Bet you are,” Lucius mutters. Stede glares at him before looking back at Ed–nothing else here or anywhere is worth looking at, compared to him.
Stede expects Ed to offer to exchange numbers. “Ivan!” he calls out instead.
A man pops his head out from what must be a storage room. “Yeah, boss?”
“Watch the bar,” Ed says. He looks at Stede. “Can I buy you a drink?”
Some liquid courage seems to be in order. “Just a beer is fine,” he says.
Ed gestures with his head towards a booth in the corner as he grabs two pints. “Be right there.”
A few moments later, Stede is sipping a beer and nervously waiting for Ed to speak.
“Why porn, mate?” Ed asks, eyes twinkling with curiosity. The question is not salacious, coming from him–he seems to truly want to know. With only a little coaxing, Stede tells him all of it–his father, his marriage, his urge to explore his sexuality further, and how that led to the idea for Buy Our Booty.
“The porn that’s out there was so scripted at best, and racist or exploitative-feeling at worst,” Stede explains. “I have seen some lovely ethical porn sites, but a lot of the folks on them look the same–white, cis, thin. Young, unless they’re ‘daddies.’ Surely to be ethical, porn should represent a much more diverse array of people?”
Ed nods along. “Makes sense to me. Kinda boring, too, if everyone’s the same, and it’s more fun if you think they want to be there.”
“Yes!” Ed really gets it. “Hence amateur porn, filmed at home with people sleeping with real partners–or at least those they want to have sex with.” Stede hesitates, since if he goes on, he will get into the Sam thing, and Ed likely doesn’t want to hear about his love life.
Ed looks down into his nearly empty pint. “Here’s where I admit I saw your video, man. The anal beads. Fucking great stuff.”
Stede knew in theory that he would talk to people who had seen his videos; hell, people on he works with have, and he’s seen some of theirs. He thought it might be awkward with someone he had just met, but instead he feels a burst of pride that Ed–of all people!--enjoyed his work.
“You, uh, said something about not having a partner anymore…” Ed continues. “Lucius said something about it too, last week.”
Stede sighs. “Yes, my boyfriend and I broke up not long before we launched. We wanted different things.”
Ed’s eyes snap up to meet Stede’s. “Was it because of the site? But it’s brilliant!”
Stede feels his face flush–he’s proud of the whole thing, and Ed’s praise is lovely.
“Yes and no. The site just exposed cracks that were already there.” He sips his lager, thinking for a moment. He hasn’t told anyone the full story, and Ed is so kind and interested. Stede has been worried that he crossed a line with Sam, and that he was right to–yes, fine–dump him for it. Not that he expected Sam to do it if he didn’t want to! Stede would never ask that of anyone. But was it really so over-the-top as a gesture, considering Stede’s line of work?
Ed is waiting patiently, his eyes still bright and curious. Stede feels strangely comfortable with him, so he charges ahead. “Say, Ed, what would you say if you came home one day to find that your boyfriend had brought home a premium, top-of-the-line sex machine as a surprise in the hopes that you’d try it out with him?”
Ed barks a laugh. Stede waits, and after a moment, he stops laughing and frowns. “Wait, serious question?”
Oh, dear, he thinks it’s a stupid idea. I only have stupid ideas, and now this very attractive man thinks I’m an idiot. Still, it’s too late to back down from the question now that he’s posed it. “Yes.”
Brow furrowed, Ed slowly says, “Well, I suppose there’s only one possible thing to say in that situation.”
“What’s that?” Stede braces himself for Ed saying that he’d tell his boyfriend off.
Ed grins for a moment, his mouth turning up higher at one corner than the other. Just as fast, the grin fades, and he does something with his eyes to make them look–well, like bedroom eyes. “‘Where’s the lube?’” he asks, voice low.
Stede’s breath hitches at Ed asking that question in that husky tone. A moment later, he bursts out laughing, and Ed joins him. They garner looks from the rest of the bar, including Lucius, who smirks.
“Of course, I’d want to use the fancy fucking sex toy!”
“Fancy fucking is a good description, considering what I paid!”
That brings about a fresh round of laughter. Once their giggles die down, Ed puts his elbows on the table and leans across it. “You mean this is why he broke up with you?”
“Well, it started the conversation… I suppose you could say we were ill-matched.”
“I’ll say,” Ed huffs. “But hey, it’s a fucking machine, right? You can still try it, for the site, right? Don’t need anyone else!”
Is it Stede’s imagination, a trick of the low light of the bar, or have Ed’s cheeks flushed a little?
“I suppose,” Stede replies. “I am planning to, but, well, I’d rather hoped…” He shrugs rather than go on to say I like to watch.
Ed nods, understanding. He sips his beer with a thoughtful expression on his face, one that shifts slowly into excitement. When he puts his pint glass down, his eyes are sparkling with mischief. “Hey, Stede, feel free to tell me to fuck off, but… Do you want to do something weird?”