Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Joel was supposed to be back by now. 

Addie is starting to panic, though she’s trying not to show it outwardly. The damn thing about dynamics is good luck hiding your emotions from other designations. 

Her heat was merely days away, but she didn’t need a calendar to confirm. The signs had started to appear this morning. She woke up slightly flushed with her panties wet. Her nipples ached and it hurt slightly to twist them between her fingers. While a cold shower helped set her right again, it wasn’t enough to soothe the anxiety taking hold in her mind. 

She was jittery at breakfast and Maria and Tommy shared worried glances that Addie pretended not to notice while she helped spoon pureed fruit into Ty’s eager mouth. Lunch with Sam and Sean revealed more of the same. 

It was no secret why Addie felt off. Her alpha wasn’t here and she was approaching her heat. But why did she feel like she wanted to crawl out of her own skin? 

At the dinner table, Addie’s bringing the soup spoon up to her lips in a quiet rhythm and trying not to acknowledge the way her hand is shaking. It’s Tommy who finally breaks the silence when she accidentally knocks the knife off the butter dish while reaching for it. 

“Addie, we should start preparing.” She freezes her hand in midair from where it is poised to return the butter knife to its place. She doesn’t dare look up at Tommy or Maria. “He made a plan for this contingency, and we’re gonna do our best to-” his words fade as Addie abruptly lets the knife clatter back down to the table as stands from her chair. 

The figures in front of her become slightly blurry and she realizes her eyes are filling with tears. She spins abruptly and lets the door to her room close behind her with more force than necessary. The omega climbs into the small bed and puts her face into his pillow that he had used the night he left. It lost Joel’s scent weeks ago, but she lets her omega imagine that it’s there, and she swears she can smell the faintest hint of pine. 

After two days of solemn silence, it’s Sam who breaks through Addie’s isolated panic. 

They’re eating lunch behind the church today as Addie has started to avoid the dining hall again. It doesn’t feel right to be around anyone unfamiliar right now, so she’s taken to restricting her social outings even more than her normal limited schedule. Sam understands and didn’t comment when Addie made the request yesterday. However, seeing how much more Addie is fidgeting today at the old picnic table, she has to step in.

“Tommy told me what Joel planned.” 

She takes a sharp breath at hearing her alpha’s name uttered out loud. In the past few weeks, in conversation it’s mostly faded to “him” and “my brother” and “the old man.” Addie’s small social circle has been tiptoeing around the subject as the days when the alpha hasn’t returned continue to grow in number. 

“Sam, I-” 

“No, Addie,” the older omega cuts her off by grabbing her hand across the table. When Addie finally meets her eye, she continues, “I’m sorry sweetheart, but it’s doing you no good worrying about it alone. From what Tommy said, Joel, like the good alpha he is, prepared for this possibility. And I know you don’t want to think about going through it alone, but I think it’ll bring comfort to your inner omega to know that even if he’s not here, he’s still taking care of you.” 

Addie tightens her grip on Sam’s hand as tears begin to flow freely down her cheeks. She sniffles and brings her other hand up to her face, “stupid hormones,” she mutters. Sam smiles ruefully as Addie composes herself. A minute passes filled only with distant noise from the town and the fluttering of the branches of the spruce tree. 

When their breaths have both slowed, Addie braces herself to hear her alpha’s plan. She’s surprised when Sam instead asks a question, “You went through heats before Joel, right? What were they like?” 

Addie had tried her best to put the painful memories out of her mind. “They were… terrifying. Mainly because I didn’t ever feel safe. With Joel there, I wasn’t worried that I was going to make too much noise and attract a clicker, or that a raider would find us, or that I would get too dehydrated and pass out and wake up to something horrifying. It wasn’t that the risk of those things was objectively lower, besides the dehydration thing because he took care of that, it was just… him. His presence makes me feel safe.” Her companion nodded along in understanding, urging her to continue. 

“Before Joel, I didn’t know it could be like that. My heats were painful, desperate, and agonizing. But I learned what to expect. Now that my omega is tied to Joel in so many ways, but doesn’t have the security of a bond, I’m scared what that will be like. Did you- did you ever have to…” the young woman trails off, looking away from Sam.

“No honey, I didn’t have a heat while I was connected to Sean but not bonded. Also, with the hormones and medications we had back then, everything wasn’t quite so intense. When he did have to leave during my heat the one time after the outbreak, the withdrawal was terrible and I attribute that to both of us being unmedicated.”

Sam pauses and takes a deep breath, “I’ll be honest hon, I don’t think it’s going to be a good week for you,” she says gently. “With no sealed bond and Joel not here, I think your omega is going to be… very discontent. I think anything we can do to help you feel closer to him will help and hopefully appease some of the discomfort.” 

Addie pulls back to curl her body up and puts her head in her hands. She lets out a noise that was half a whine and half a groan. Sam feels the anxiety and frustration rolling off the young omega in waves. 

“Everything just feels so… wrong, you know?” Addie whispers. “I’m scared the heat will just burn hotter and hotter until there’s nothing left of me.” 

Sam tilts her palm to cradle her friend’s head, stroking a thumb through her hair. “Everything will be alright, honey, you’ll see.”

Dinner at the house is a mostly silent affair, apart from Ty’s babbling. Addie knows she can’t avoid it any longer; unless Joel waltzes through those gates in the next 12 hours, she is enduring this heat alone. 

They clear the plates from dinner and Maria takes a sleepy Ty in her arms to carry him upstairs to bed. Addie and Tommy linger in the kitchen and Tommy puts on the kettle to make tea. Addie busies herself finding three mugs and pulling out their modest tea collection. 

After leafing through the options three times, Addie eventually selects a chai, something as close to the smoky and spiced scent of her absent partner. Tommy takes a green tea and puts aside the black tea for Maria. When the kettle whistles, and Tommy pours water in both their mugs, there’s  nothing left to do but sit down and talk. 

Addie fidgets a bit with the tea bag as she waits for it to steep. “Well sugar, do you want to start or shall I?” Tommy says, turning on a bit of the southern charm with a sad smile. With a nod of her head towards him, he recounts what his brother had told him many weeks ago.

“He said that his room would be best the place for you, so he sealed it up best he could. He’s got some supplies stocked in the house for you, and Maria has a basket with some ready to eat food and snacks that you can take with you. We’ve worked out a schedule to guard the house between Maria, Sean, and myself.” At her widening eyes, Tommy holds up a hand. “Joel insisted, Addie, and it’s no trouble.” 

Maria walks through the room and agrees with him, “Addie, it’s no problem at all and it’s not an unreasonable request for an alpha to make in this situation. We’ll manage just fine.” Addie sighs but keeps her protests silent. Her omega is just happy that her alpha is ensuring her safety even when her logical mind wants to object. 

Maria returns with her tea and Addie finally takes a sip of the chai. It gives her just a modicum of comfort and she looks at the couple to continue. 

Tommy starts to grow a bit awkward at this phase, clearly moving beyond the directive he’d gotten from Joel. “How- um,” he coughed, “how long does it usually last?’ 

“Well, last time,” she says cautiously, to avoid explicitly saying the time that his brother had fucked her through it, “it was five days.” She pauses in thought, “that’s what he said, I usually lose track of time. Before that, it could be longer or shorter depending on my stress, safety, or other factors. So um- yeah I guess I’m not too sure.” 

Tommy nods in mild discomfort, clearly unsure how to respond. Maria jumps in, all business, and the younger woman is grateful to have at least another alpha around who has baseline knowledge. “That’s completely normal for omegas, Addie. During heats, omega hormones especially become slightly… unregulated. Without hormone treatments or pheromones, your body can find it hard to stabilize itself. It’s why symptoms like frequent temperature changes and mood swings, and even things like dizziness, are so common.” Addie nods, as the information lined up with the basic principles her mother’s journal had expressed. 

Maria continues, “we will keep our rotation up for as long as needed, but I’ve cleared out as many of our obligations as possible for the next week or so.” 

Tommy coughs and starts again, “he um- he wanted someone to check on you, at least twice a day. Said we need to make sure you drink enough water and you may have trouble eating.” Addie looks down at the table in slight embarrassment. She had told Joel about her previous heats, and how at the end she would come out dehydrated, malnourished, and weak, usually with a piercing headache that forced her to sleep for hours. He had growled and said, “you won’t ever go through that again.” This is not what she had imagined when he said that, but it was better than the alternative, she knew logically. 

Maria cuts in again, “who would you be most comfortable checking on you? Unfortunately, I don’t think you have a female beta who you are close enough with who would work.” Addie confirms this with a sigh. “I know that omegas can be very sensitive to scents during heats, and so while I would normally suggest myself of Sam for something like this, I think as a beta, Tommy is most likely to be the least intrusive.” 

Addie pointedly stares down at the table when she agrees, “that’s fine. Sorry in advance…” 

Tommy clicks his tongue, “nothin’ to be sorry about darlin’. First off, this is natural and there’s no need to be embarrassed.” She mostly believes him despite the slight flush painting his cheeks. “Secondly, my brother would kill me if I let anything happen to you,” he ignores Maria’s low growl, “let alone if I made you uncomfortable in some way. I’ll try to be as discreet as I can. And I’ll ring the doorbell at least five times before I enter the house,” he finishes with a small chuckle. That comment gets Addie to finally crack a smile. 

“Do you need to go over to the house now? I’d recommend you wait it out here as long as you can,” Maria suggests gently. 

“I think I’ll be fine for tonight. It’ll be tomorrow- usually I feel a bit hazy when I wake in the morning and that’s when I know. So... after breakfast tomorrow? Is that okay?” 

The look of insecurity and anxiety on the young girl’s face makes Tommy ache. How scared she is to go through this, and how clearly no one had taken care of her before his brother. She could barely ask for what she needed, and she is among family. He renews his vow to do whatever she needs, not just for Joel, but for Addie.

“Of course, sugar, whatever you decide. If you change your mind between now and then, please come up and knock on our door. I don’t wanna come downstairs and see you’ve disappeared again,” he says, his tone only slightly disapproving as they both recall the last incident. 

“Alright, Tommy. Th- thank you both, I um- don’t know what I would-“ she says before she looks away, her eyes brimming with tears. Maria stands and embraces her, murmuring softly in her ear, “everything will be fine omega, your alpha has made sure of it.” Addie wipes away her tears and forces a smile. She drains the bottom half of her of tea and Maria takes the mug from her hands. “You should rest, now. Save your energy.” 

When Addie climbs into her bed, she feels twitchy. She tosses and turns and resigns herself to a mostly restless night. She drifts off and wakes a few times before waking up to feeling warm. She throws the covers off and sees that it is finally light outside. She presses her thighs together and feels that familiar ache for relief. 

All she wants to do was scream, so she turns her face into her pillow and does just that. Some of her tension released, she throws her last items into her packed bag and enters the kitchen. It’s just Tommy alone, a pot of coffee on the stove and some eggs being scrambled in a pan. 

“Hope eggs are alright,” he murmurs over his shoulder. She nods solemnly, before realizing her can’t see her and pipes up “yeah, thanks.” It’s barely two minutes before there’s toast, scrambled eggs, and some strawberries on her plate, alongside a steaming mug of coffee. 

She picks at the eggs and toast as he sits across from her, paperback in his hand, periodically sipping his coffee. She’s getting increasingly restless, tapping her foot underneath the table, and turning the fork between her fingers. She eventually sets her fork down which prompts a glance from Tommy. 

He looks down at the plate then back at her, “two more bites of toast and three strawberries, then we can go.” She huffs at being treated like a child, but does what he asks, knowing she’s going to finally get her alpha’s scent again. 

She stands and moves towards the door, finding her boots to lace up. Tommy shuffles along behind her, large basket, mug, and paperback in hand. 

“Tommy I- we need to-“ Addie stutters out, hands flailing. 

“Yes, let’s go omega.” She opens the door and Tommy internally cringes at his use of the title as he slides on some shoes. It was Maria’s advice, so basically just shy of a command. She had told him last night to call Addie omega, as she would respond more positively to that than her name whilst in heat. Tommy just filed that away among the things his brother would owe him for upon his return. 

He pulls the door shut behind him and quickens his pace to keep up with her as she moves determinedly across the street. It’s just past first light in Jackson, so the town will begin to stir soon, but he gratefully doesn’t see anyone out when they cross over to Joel’s. 

She opens the screen door and and tries the front door handle, but it doesn’t budge. Before her panic can fully grasp her, Tommy has placed the key in her hand and she is twisting the lock and pushing the door open. 

She steps in and takes a deep inhale. While the house doesn’t smell exactly like her alpha, it still holds a comforting, familiar scent, which appeases her omega slightly. 

She looks back to Tommy who is stuck on the porch, still holding the screen door open with the left side of his body. “I’m gonna stay out here.” He holds the basket out to her which she accepts as her eyes dart all over him, seemingly looking for something. “It’s alright omega. I will check on you tonight. If you need anything before then, you can come out here, or you can open the window in Joel’s room which faces the street and call down for me, okay?” Addie nods, trying to retain the instructions… porch, window, Joel’s room… Joel. 
She whips her head back towards the stairs as her omega voices alpha’s room, go now. Tommy completely forgotten, she doesn’t even get her boots off before charging up the stairs, basket and bag in hand. 

Tommy waits until he hears an upstairs door open and close before closing the door and locking it. Tucking the key in his pocket, he settles into the armchair with his book and coffee, ready for a long day. 

When Addie has finally removed all the towels and tape and opens his door, she’s hit with a wall of scent, his scent, alpha. She quickly closes the door and puts a towel back to keep the scent trapped in here. 

It looks the same as she remembers, just a few new additions. There’s sealed jars of water on pretty much every surface, including the windowsill, the dresser, and both nightstands. The dresser also has a collection of dried fruits and meats. She sets the basket from Maria down near it and puts her bag on the chair by the window. She sees a piece of paper laying on Joel’s side of the bed and she scrambles for it, ending up sprawled on her stomach with her chin tucked on his pillow. Before she can read, she takes a few breaths through her nose and sighs. She looks at the note and bemoans how many words it is, considering her inability to sit still right now. Her omega instructs her to listen to alpha and Addie sets to reading the note. 

Omega

God, she feels slick rush out of her at the word written in his sloppy handwriting and she shifts uncomfortably. 

If you’re reading this, I am sorry. Know that if I could be with you now, I would be. 

I’ve done everything I can to provide for you in my absence, and I’m sure your omega will be able to seek out all the things I’ve left for you. The house and everything in it is available to you.

As your alpha, I’m commanding you to take care of yourself through this. I don’t want to come back and find you dehydrated or underfed. If you need something material, ask, and Tommy will provide it. 

 I am sorry that I won’t be there to relieve your pain. But I want you to do it for me. I want you to make yourself come to the thought of me. I want you to remember everything I did to you in your last heat as you touch yourself. I want you to think about which positions I’ll fuck you in when I get back. I want you to remember how good it feels to be stretched on my knot. I want you to imagine me there holding you down, my weight pressing on top of you insistently as I give you what you’re begging for. 

Addie lets out a soft moan as she slips a hand underneath her.

I want you to hear my voice in your head, telling you to come for me like a good omega. I want you to pinch your nipples like I do, fuck yourself with your fingers like I do, and play with that pretty little clit until she’s swollen and sore. 

I want you to remember people’s reactions when we first arrived, my scent all over you. And how when we reunited, I made sure everyone knew you were mine for at least a half mile. I want you to imagine what it'll it be like to finally have my mark on your soft, sweet neck. God, it’ll attract so much attention baby, your perfect skin being ruined by me. Only me. Because you’re mine, omega.

It didn’t take much and Addie was free falling, moaning into her alpha’s pillow and writhing on the bed as she worked her clit. 

She blinked opened her eyes and after a few seconds was finally able to focus on the note again. 

Did you come from my words baby? I know I just did. Reread them as many times as you need and try to make yourself come as many times as I would. 

I love you, baby, and I will see you soon. 

Your alpha, 
Joel

Addie buries her head back into the pillow. Her thoughts are racing but eventually there is one she managed to focus on: fuck, she misses him.