Crowley thinks Aziraphale is trying to kill him
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Summary
When Anthony wakes up in a hospital with no memory, he finds himself alone with nothing but a vaguely threatening note written in blood. In an attempt to save himself from an untimely death, Anthony goes about his life as if he wasn't currently suffering from memory loss. It really is too bad he can't figure out if his stunning partner is trying to kill him or not. Going on a date with him couldn't hurt, right?
...
“Do you think perhaps you could come over to the bookshop?” Aziraphale asked, “I would so love to see you, dear.”
“Yeah I- no!” Anthony nearly shouted and then clamped his hand over his mouth.
“No? Why ever not?”
“I can’t,” Anthony scrambled for what to say, “I’ve got-”
‘Diarrhea’ was on the tip of his tongue, but then Anthony caught a glimpse of his reflection in the black phone screen and blurted, “-an eye condition.”
...
or- Crowley has no idea why his plan to pretend he doesn't have amnesia is proving to be so difficult. It might be because the poor guy is actually a demon.