15 Works in Director Dave Strider
Listing Works
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In the interest of cultural sharing between two planets recently at peace, Karkat Vantas has opened a blog on a shared social media site, to schoolfeed humans on the nuances of quality cinema.
In the interest of doing some dumb bullshit and making hella money, Dave Strider has just released Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff: The Movovie, the latest in his oeuvre.
The thing is though, SBaHJ has never just been dumb bullshit. And somehow, Karkat Vantas is the first person to notice. A revelatory review somehow snowballs into a whole new era for Earth-Alternia diplomatic relations, and said dumb bullshit lands Karkat and Dave right in the middle.
Series
- Part 1 of CCMA
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FUCK ALL OF YOU FOR MAKING ME WATCH SBAHJ: THE MOVOVIE OR HOWEVER THAT DUMBFUCK SPELLED IT. I HAVE LITERALLY NOTHING POSITIVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS MOUNTAINOUS PILE OF GARBAGE. DROWNING IN LITERAL SEWAGE ROTTING IN HUMAN HELL WITH NARY A CHAINSMOKING SUBWAY RAT TO SAVE ME WOULD BE MORE PLEASANT THAN WATCHING THIS FUCKING MOVIE.
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Aka famous movie director "D Strider" pays Karkat to review his shitty movies, and Karkat grows increasingly alarmed that they actually mean something under all of the mind-numbing bullshit.
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John and Dave haven’t seen each other in years. John accidentally sends a script over to Dave’s studio. What could possibly happen next ?!?!?!?!
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- Part 14 of rps with beef
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"Why is this shitfuck pan-rotting pile of artifact-ridden, glitchy, nonsensical sewage that can barely pass itself off as a movie somehow a thoughtful criticism on the global rise of authoritarianism and well-put commentary on how young working class males are forced into the military? What the actual fuck? Why do none of the other reviews mention this?"
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Aka famous movie director "D Strider" pays Karkat to review his shitty movies, and Karkat grows increasingly alarmed that they actually mean something under all of the mind-numbing bullshit. Meeting Strider, the biggest douchebag in the world, does not help. Also he keeps meeting this annoyingly smart human kid and his awkward/obnoxious but very hot guardian. These two things are entirely unrelated.
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For Dave, Karkat is a friend of a friend whom he has never talked to.
For Karkat, Dave is his ex-boyfriend.
They make a movie together.
Alt. title: Davekat: the soap opera.Series
- Part 3 of Between the lines: Davekat Au's
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well i couldnt just leave him there gogdammit by cooingRatbird for Jokess
Fandoms: Homestuck
06 Jun 2021
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First time doing a gift exchange! Dave finds a baby and decides to keep it (the baby is not you).
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Time is money.
Karkat Vantas is a bartender who lives in the ghetto with a deadly secret.
Jake English is a gun-happy gang leader who's made a life of stealing time from the rich.
Dave Strider is a nearly immortal, famed director with a death wish.
Dirk Strider is a Timekeeper haunted by ghosts from the past, who has sworn to uphold a corrupt system.
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A mistake in identity requires famed director Dave Strider to enter government protection across the sea. He’s assigned US Marshal Karkat Vantas to protect him until his name is cleared and the price on his head is eliminated.
Whether or not they can stand each other in the meantime is another problem entirely.
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John Egbert gives an unorthodox interview to Hollywood hotshot Dave Strider
Series
- Part 5 of Johndaveweek 2018
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As the Queen Demands by darleen8 (orphan_account)
Fandoms: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
01 Feb 2017
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Getting to the top doesn't mean that you have to be lonely, and John's willing to prove it. When John's out with Jade and Rose, and Hollywood's least favorite, infamous, abrasive, rich alcoholic director walks into a bar one night, John's warned to steer clear of Dave Strider. He's here to drink, hates everyone, and has no living or known family. He's notoriously hard to work with, rude in person, hard to talk to, and an all around asshole with no friends. John, America's most beloved comedian of the time takes is always up for a challenge, and decides not to leave until he's befriended Dave Strider. The result? Awkward pauses, clear rejection, and an evening that shakes John's perception of friendship and romance forever. Contains NSFW content at the end, but there's a satisfying story before it too. JohnDave fluff/ eventual smut. Enjoy.
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John had no idea what he was getting into when he took his first "real" job under the young Hollywood success that was Mr. Strider. Dave expected the assistant that walked into his office to be just like the thousand dime-a dozen employees that quit in the last year. Both learn to Make it Work. Adult AU Johndave with fluffy holiday themes, and "All the Pennies" by Mindy Gledhill.
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There are many reasons not to become an actor. Hell, you could write several fucking essays on why being an actor is shitty. But having to talk to the guy in front of you crashes the feculent fucking horseshit scale. Seriously, he’s a 413 on the asscactus scale from one to five.
“So did I get this right?” you say. Or maybe shout a little. “Because it’s by far not easy to pick the few things that are actually important out of the brain damaging fecal matter you just spouted at me. You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend.”
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D gets sick, so Dave pays him a visit and ends up taking over as acting director by becoming his liaison while D finds it hard to speak.
Series
- Part 71 of Striderclan
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"Fine, I'll make a bet with you." Dirk crossed his arms.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. If you're not best of fucking friends with Egbert by the end of your first season, I'll agree to an exclusive interview in your second."
"Deal." You both shook on it.Dave Strider is a successful movie director. John Egbert is not as successful movie critic. Dave is looking for a co-host for his new variety show and Dirk suggests his friend's brother. Both men are not happy.
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You're not worried about having to fly out to the middle of scenic Bumfuck Nowhere, Minnesota to try and buy the rights to some writer guy's script so you can make a movie. Hells no- you're the smoothest operator at this company, makin' deals left and right like it ain't no thang.
No, you're more worried about having to tell John that you have to fly out to the middle of scenic Bumfuck Nowhere, Minnesota to try and buy the rights to some writer guy's script so you can make a movie without him.