I should lose my gay privileges for that
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Summary
Heinz Doofenshmirtz doesn't think he's handsome. In fact, scientifically, according to polled beauty standards, he's ugly. Like everything in his life, he fixes it with an -inator. Perry has some thoughts about that.
(Or: Perry doesn't like caricature handsome Doofenshmirtz, and attempts to boost his self-esteem instead. Written in two parts.)
(This contains romantic Perryshmirtz. I suppose, if you squinted really hard and closed one eye you could call it platonic, but if you've read this far down the summery and haven't been turned away yet, you might as well just admit that the platypus and the mad scientist are gay, and join the rest of us.)