1 - 20 of 89 Works in Jemaine Clement
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Bruce Turned Out To Be A Man by imwalkinintospiderwebs
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types
07 Sep 2025
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Jemaine, being the lady's man he is, ends up going home with a woman he met at a concert named Bruce, only to realize he's made a grave error. Bruce turned out to be a man.
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Sheepish Shepherds by damn_adamdriver
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types
14 May 2025
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Jermaine is a lone shepherd living in a rural farm in New Zealand's South Island. He has three friends - his mate Murray, and his two Border Collies named Bass and Guitar. One day, he meets someone who he never would've guessed in a million years would become someone he was very close with.
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“I want Jongho,” Yeosang says, sounding like a petulant child.
“You can’t have Jongho,” Hongjoong replies.
Yeosang flinches. “Jongho’s quiet,” he mutters. “Not like you fuckers.”
“I ordered Jongho to get some sleep, and in a minute you’re going to be doing the same.” Hongjoong’s steady tone doesn’t leave room for debate. “We’ve all got jobs to do on this ship. My job is to make sure shit gets done. Your job is to let me inject you with this so you go the fuck to sleep and we don’t end up with those cattle stampeding and turning themselves into meat paste two days before we land. Got it?”
“It’s called pâté, asshole,” Yeosang grumbles.
“Fuck you,” Hongjoong says. “Give me your arm.”
Yeosang does as he’s told.
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A retelling of the Firefly episode Safe in which Hongjoong tries to deal with a cattle sale gone bad, Wooyoung tries to help an increasingly unstable Yeosang, and Yeosang tries to find solid ground when his new source of support is torn away.
Series
- Part 4 of Fireteez
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Holding hands with butterfly and jumping by J404
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords, Real Person Fiction
16 Apr 2025
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On the second-to-last afternoon before Jemaine and Bret moved out of the dorm, Jemaine pointed out that Bret bit him like a crazy puppy boy, while Bret pointed out that Jemaine had a flea problem. They bickered for a while until Bret reminded Jemaine that he had to give Taika an answer—an answer about choice.Meanwhile, Jemaine was also constantly pondering where the butterfly of love was...(this silly guy knows exactly who makes him love the world.)
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Needy For a Weedy Shy Guy by deathmybride
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types
03 Jan 2025
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Bret has the post-breakup blues, and Jemaine is convinced he has the perfect solution...
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давай же, обмани меня by fandom Our Flag Means Death 2024 (team_Our_Flag_Means_Death), Regis
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV) RPF, New Zealand Actor RPF
14 Sep 2024
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Другая версия всей этой истории “Риз не помнит, когда они впервые познакомились”.
Конец 90-х, и Риз никак не может запомнить свое знакомство с Тайкой. Это очень раздражает. И только.
Не более того.
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M & M by Zigster
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types, The Strip (New Zealand TV 2002)
28 Aug 2024
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NOW COMPLETE!
Murray makes a new friend. They eat bagels, go surfing, navigate the trials of friendship while also wanting to kiss each other and, to cap it all off, Murray gets his first tattoo.
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A String Plucked from the Heart (Head) by Anonymous
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types
22 Jul 2024
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Jemaine wakes up after an intense surgery, and he only cares about knowing if his one true love is still with him...
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The Way You Make Me Feel by eclipticeris (abedinyourshape)
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types, Boy (Movie 2010)
15 Jul 2024
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Murray Hewitt meets a stunningly handsome man one day. He is instantly enchanted by this "Alamein," and The Way He Make Him Feel.
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I Told You I Was Freakayyy~ by sprontinkle
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types
08 Jul 2024
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"They often did this if one of them had something on their mind - they waited until they were both in bed with the lights off. Being vulnerable was less scary in the dark when no one could see you."
Bret is feeling homesick, but Jemaine's voice makes him feel better.
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There can't just be one Conchord! by babybreakfast
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types
13 Apr 2024
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Back in New Zealand, Jemaine is content with the return to his normal, rural way of life. Meanwhile, Bret wants to keep making music- on his own this time. Surely no big success will come from this, and if it does, surely he came up with a different band name. Right?
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Studies of Modern Kiwi Folk-Parody Music by jnmemaine
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types, Community (TV)
26 Jan 2024
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Abed has been working on a film he really likes, his magnum opus. he wants to include music, but in Abed fashion, it’s not just gonna be someone he knows at Greendale, it’s gonna be what he likes and it’s certainly not gonna be someone popular, not like he could afford it anyway. He searches online and finds a folk-parody band from New Zealand called Flight of the Conchords? He finds some of their stuff and likes the band, and is interested in meeting Jemaine and Bret. He messages their manager and ends up getting these two a big gig, doing all the music for his movie, and they’ve been waiting for a gig this big for years. Troy has been working along with Abed on his project for miscellaneous things, mostly script and casting, working with cast members, etc. and is a very important part of this project. The Conchords show up, and Abed realizes he didn’t tell Troy about their arrival, and Troy feels a bit betrayed. He very quickly shakes off the feeling of betrayal to support Abed and work with the band. However, Jemaine and Abed seem to be working well together, which leaves both Troy and Bret both feeling slightly betrayed, which they both thought they were better than to do.
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i would say the things i want to say tonight by aphroditesiac
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types, Our Flag Means Death (TV)
12 Nov 2023
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i am obsessed with this ship just saying
rated g for now
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title is lyrics from the way i feel inside by the zombies
(unfinished and probably will never be sorry guys) -
Fullmetal Conchord by CrashTestConnoisseur
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types
06 Oct 2023
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When Jemaine tragically dies in a truck accident, Bret is completely lost. However, everything changes when he learns about alchemy and the taboo act of human transmutation. Bret vows to get Jemaine back, no matter the price. Will he get what he's expecting?
(Based on the lyric from Friends: "If you cross the road and a truck struck you / I'll scrape you up and reconstruct you")
(This is my kooky wacky Flight of the Conchords/Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood crossover hooray) -
Bret, You've Got It Going On :( by CrashTestConnoisseur
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types
23 Aug 2023
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Jemaine grimaced when his heart fluttered at how peaceful Bret looked. He couldn’t stop himself from feeling the feelings, but he could at least let the feelings know that he disagreed with them just showing up whenever they wanted to.
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Murray falls head over heels for the new tech support woman, but why is Greg so weird about it?
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New York Isn't New York Without You by CrashTestConnoisseur
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types
24 Jul 2023
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Dave misses Bret and Jemaine since they got deported to New Zealand. When Mel approaches him with a method of contact, he decides to go along with her little scheme.
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Pirates could happen to anyone by doomed_spectacles
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types, Our Flag Means Death (TV)
14 Feb 2023
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Jemaine: You can't deny we're on a boat, Bret. There's a guy with a rope belt, and a guy wearing Crocs.
Bret: People wear Crocs all the time.
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They/Them Jemaine by glacial_approach
Fandoms: Flight of the Conchords - All Media Types
26 Jan 2023
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Jemaine comes out to Dave and Murray, with mixed results.