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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter was the Chosen One, and Neville Longbottom was the boy no one chose. Then Neville defied Voldemort, killed Nagini, and took down Greyback. Neville came out of the war different: You won’t get a rise out of him but you will get a reaction.

    After a tumultuous trauma bond with Luna Lovegood and a failed engagement to Hannah Abbott, Neville has sworn off relationships—only to be paired with Pansy Parkinson under the Reconciliation Act. Neville’s running a nursery, guest lecturing in the Hogwarts Herbology Department, and hunting down Death Eaters with Seamus Finnigan, Alicia Spinnet, George Weasley, and the mercenaries Bill Weasley befriended while raiding tombs for Gringotts. He doesn’t need a Slytherin wife whose best mates are Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott. Or does he? When he and Pansy prove extremely sexually compatible, Neville must confront his own questions about love, trust, and vulnerability—just as the revival of blood supremacy and a renewed veneration of Bellatrix have strange new bedfellows seeking him out.

    Featuring sex, violence, and poisonous plants, DIRTY, FLIRTY, AND VINDICTIVE takes place during BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC with flashbacks to Neville’s life between 1998 and 2003.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    148,621
    Chapters:
    24/26
    Comments:
    4,627
    Kudos:
    2,486
    Bookmarks:
    816
    Hits:
    102,953
  2. Tags
    Summary

    You're starting your third year at Hogwarts School, expecting nothing unusual to happen. Roommates will still be annoying, Harry Potter will be the centre of attention and the school work will be dull.
    However, you're struck with luck when a strange incident happens in the hospital wing with a strange boy.
    His name is Draco Malfoy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,428
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    7
  3. Tags
    Summary

    The war is over. The Dark Lord is dead. But in the shadows of Azkaban, a secret festers.

    When an offhanded line in the Daily Prophet suggests Draco Malfoy is still imprisoned in Azkaban long after most others have been released, Hermione Granger, now in charge of the Deradicalisation and Reintegration department of the DLME within the ministry discovers something she shouldn't have. Malfoy was never tried, never convicted and does not seem to exist on record.

    Tasked with facilitating the rehabilitation of someone who hates her back into society at the expense of her own personal life falling apart, it quickly becomes clear to Hermione that something or someone had never intended for him to escape.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,765
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    481
  4. Tags
    Summary

    The obscure magic of the graveyard resurrection slowly morphs Harry's psyche, transforming him into a perfect mix of himself and Tom. His personality changes, and although he defeats Voldemort in the Battle of Hogwarts, he is cursed in the back for it. His journey doesn't end though as he finds himself waking up in a very familiar world once again. A world that, although familiar, is also very different. How will the world fare in face of this new Harry Potter, bearing the mannerisms of his biggest enemy, from his power and knowledge to his lust? Darker Harry/Multi. AU.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    67,556
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    115
    Kudos:
    1,293
    Bookmarks:
    557
    Hits:
    155,095
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter never lived in a cupboard under the stairs for long. Instead, Uncle Vernon did what any responsible adult would do--he dumped the boy in the woods and drove off. Luckily (or unluckily), Harry was found by a sarcastic, sassy, trigger-happy mercenary who decided to raise him as his own.

    Now armed with deadly skills, a sharp sense of humor and zero tolerance for nonsense, Harry's latest job is to protect someone. The catch? It means returning to the wizarding world. And Hogwarts? Yeah....they're definitely not ready for this version of the Boy-Who-Lived.

    Warning: NSFW content ahead.

    Hope you love it, enjoy!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    75,686
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    374
    Kudos:
    708
    Bookmarks:
    341
    Hits:
    57,813
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The month of October is an important one for Gryffindor's Quidditch team as they prepare for their first match of the season against Slytherin. It's unfortunate that two of their best players are struggling to see eye to eye regarding their growing feelings for one another.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,164
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    78
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Tove 'Linny' Lindqvist is NOT in love with the Slytherin quidditch captain! After all, Pullox Montague is an arrogant, rude and utterly obnoxious prig, mean to everyone (including her!) and the most brutal quidditch player she's ever seen. Granted, he looks good and has a pretty smile (one he usually only flaunts after successfully knocking someone off their broomstick or winning yet another game), but that sums up pretty much all you could possibly like about him. And she has to admit that, yes, perhaps she knows a little too much about him for being almost complete strangers. But all Tove wishes for is to be left alone with her cat Cerberus and her experimental magic (that nobody really seemed to get anyway, least of all the teachers). Be over and done with school as fast as possible and just... well, do her thing. If only Tove hadn't such a talent for always being at the wrong place in the wrong time. And if only Pullox Montague knew how to keep his bloody dark secrets better hidden...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,199
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    56
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Draco Malfoy is hiding a secret.

    He's a vampire.

    Turned during the Battle of Hogwarts, he's been living off donated blood, and discovering different ways to hide his 'condition' for the past six years. He was content to wallow in self-loathing until a rogue vampire attacks the blood vaults at St. Mungos. How's a vampire supposed to live with a blood shortage? Not in this economy.

    In an effort to fix Vampire-Wizard relations and make his life easier, Draco needs the support of the Ministry. Only issue? It means he has to work with Hermione Granger who is severely overworked and (surprisingly) not his biggest fan.

    She doesn't believe that he's 'changed' and suddenly cares about vampire rights. It doesn't help that Draco's still the sarcastic, brooding arsehole she knew from school. Hermione's determined to find out what he's hiding.

    Meanwhile Draco's determined to find out why her blood makes his mouth water and challenges his more... primal urges. Why does he want to sink his teeth into her every time she gets close?

    Read to find out how these two navigate politics and their feelings for each other.

    Updated every Saturday
    NSFW & SFW Art included

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,068
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    331
    Kudos:
    372
    Bookmarks:
    186
    Hits:
    18,621
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Picking up where Stolen Moments: The Second War left off: Alicia Spinnet, Adrian Pucey, Kenneth Towler, and their circle of friends must pick up the pieces, help rebuild the wizarding world, and come to terms with the trauma of the Battle of Hogwarts.

    Covers May 1998 through May 2001.

     

    Rated for: PTSD, dealing with trauma and abuse, survivor's guilt, hints of suicidal thoughts, and fun sexual content. Won't make sense unless you read all the previous parts.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    287,214
    Chapters:
    43/46
    Comments:
    123
    Kudos:
    36
    Hits:
    3,717
  10. Tags
    Summary

    AU, and part five of This Lordship Business series. Harry feels he deserves the right to be happy, with almost all the Horcruxes destroyed, his OWLS safely sat, Voldemort disembodied again, and Theo firmly by his side. But the Ministry, the Order of the Phoenix, Voldemort, and maybe even the universe don’t agree.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,347
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    148
    Kudos:
    812
    Bookmarks:
    126
    Hits:
    11,187
  11. Tags
    Summary

    War is on the Horizon. Voldemort is no longer hiding his return. With plans to run away and find the horcruxes, how will Eva and Co. deal with the year to come? What of their friends left behind? Roadblocks and curveballs are around every corner in our heroes' race to the end. The war must come to an end . . . but at what cost?

    *This work is part of a series. Please read works 2-8 before reading this, they will explain who Eva is and her connection to everything*

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,996
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    173
    Kudos:
    126
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    3,971
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Oliver cannot speak the truth, cannot confess what he craves, cannot escape what he has done. And so he lies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,095
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    163
  13. Tags
    Summary

    It’s bad in every way a restaurant can possibly be bad, but mostly because the kitchen cannot cook decent food. Any meal at this hermetic, self-regarding restaurant brings a protracted march of bland, tepid dishes.

     

    This restaurant is soulless, overpriced, and (curiously!) still manages to be packed. Perhaps its diners are masochists. Or perhaps London has finally embraced nihilism, culinary or otherwise.

    Percy Weasley is London’s most feared food critic. One poor review from him can make or break a young chef's career. He’s known for his razor-sharp palate, brutal honesty, and the fact that he’s never once in eight years given a single five-star review. People say he hates food. He doesn't. He just hates bad food.

    All Oliver Wood wanted to do was play professional football. But after a career-ending injury, he pours his energy into cooking. His soft-opening for his passion project restaurant The Pitch is off to a quiet start. That is, until a striking redhead walks in and agrees to be the first customer to try his food.
    ~
    Or Food Critic Percy Weasley meets Former Professional Athlete turned Chef Oliver Wood

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,727
    Chapters:
    17/20
    Comments:
    415
    Kudos:
    402
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    7,301
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Random one-shots that I didn't want to write full stories for. This is full on smut/porn so just take it as that. Some kink stuff in here but not everything will be.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,792
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    199
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    24,582
  15. Tags
    Summary

    First, he stretches. Then, he exercises. He eats breakfast, and watches the street he lives on come to life -- the old man and his corgi, the baristas at the coffee shop, the woman who jogs, the daughter and father, and the Indian grocer all making their appearance. Then, he showers, shaves, dresses, and heads to his job as an Auror, where he has been on desk duty ever since he was pulled from the field because of The Incident.

    Draco lives his life by his Ministry mandated Mind Healer routines, and he is trying to get back to being Potter's left-hand man, but the cannonball to his careful regimen comes in the form of a very cranky Hermione Granger.

    Banter, fluff, eventual smut, an ensemble cast of friends and family and weddings and babies. Told in mostly Draco's POV, but the occasional random one, because who says Draco is the most reliable of narrators?

    It’s a character-driven slow burn.

    [Author's Note: I give blanket permission for this fic to be bound, translated, narrated, and for artwork, so long as you are not making a profit off of it. For more info, feel free to message me on IG, monstersof.men.]

    [9/8/25: I am beginning minor chapter edits.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    188,254
    Chapters:
    72/72
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    684
    Kudos:
    1,261
    Bookmarks:
    618
    Hits:
    61,757
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Dans l'ombre des néons et sous l'emprise du pouvoir, la passion devient une arme à double tranchant.

    Hermione pensait avoir laissé derrière elle les démons de son passé en quittant sa petite ville. Mais sous les lumières rouges du Passion Rouge, un club où elle danse et survit en tant que stripteaseuse et escort, elle découvre qu'échapper à son histoire est impossible. Jusqu'à ce que Draco Malfoy, le nouvel homme de confiance du club, entre dans sa vie.

    Draco n'est pas seulement un homme influent : il est le fils du parrain de la Bratva, missionné pour démêler les affaires douteuses du club. Lorsqu'il propose à Hermione un marché - des informations en échange de sa liberté -, elle accepte sans savoir qu'il l'enchaîne à un autre monde, celui de la mafia. Un monde de luxe, de danger et de secrets où l'amour devient une arme mortelle.

    Entre manipulation et obsession, peut-on vraiment aimer quelqu'un qui appartient à un autre univers ? Et jusqu'où Hermione est-elle prête à aller pour survivre dans cet enfer doré ?

    Language:
    Français
    Words:
    37,074
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1,048
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Six years after the Battle of Hogwarts...

    She's chasing a future.

    He’s wasting his inheritance.

    Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy have nothing in common, except an engagement neither of them wanted.

    Forced into proximity under the guise of politics and propriety, old wounds reopen and sparks ignite. They despise each other...or at least, they’ve convinced themselves they do.

    In a game of power, pride, and blurred lines, hate might not be the strongest feeling between them after all.

    WIP - New chapters posted Wednesdays

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,535
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    971
  18. Tags
    Summary

    No sooner have Harry and Ron finished their training and officially become Aurors, than a scandal rocks the British Auror’s Office, shaking up their entire chain of command, demanding sacrifices and adjustments of the newly appointed Aurors and their senior colleagues as well. On top of that, they thought the case of the werewolf attack was over and done with, after the perpetrator killed himself and Leopoldina Montgomery was convicted, but Hermione finds evidence that indicates a large-scale cover-up…

    Meanwhile, Harry’s private life enters a flurry too, as his girlfriend proposes nothing less than a proposal and the hero of the wizarding world struggles with organizing the biggest day of their life — that the whole wizarding world wants to be part of.

    Mostly canon-compliant. Covers the time between April 2001 and February 2003.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,812
    Chapters:
    7/49
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    300
  19. Tags
    Summary

    It's just another victory for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,331
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    27
  20. Tags
    Summary

    In a Ministry-run asylum, two patients known only as Damon and Helena cling to each other as their last anchor to reality. But when fragments of forbidden spells, runes, and memories bleed through, they uncover a darker truth: their identities have been hollowed out. Their love fractured and warped into weaponized sub-personalities, and Hollowmere won’t let them remember who they really are.

    They hollowed out their memories. The echoes are all that remain.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,210
    Chapters:
    1/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    61

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