i dunno man

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  • Rec *

    Nothing Like the Real Thing by

    Fandoms: Check Please! (Webcomic)  

    12 Jan 2015

    Tags
    Summary

    "Sometimes," Shitty says, and pauses, like he's collecting his thoughts. "Sometimes, I feel like I barely know you, Bitty."

    Includes baking about feelings, actually TALKING about feelings, learning to understand feelings, and sex.

    Betaed

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,629
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    554
    Bookmarks:
    109
    Hits:
    4,940
    Bookmarked by NightOwl_26

    08 Apr 2024

    Bookmarker's Tags:
    Bookmarker's Notes

    Bitty goes with Shitty to a Queer network meeting… he meets a guy named RJ there…

    they have a date, but Bitty’s worried because he’s never kissed anyone before…

    Shitty offers to help him practise…

    1/1

    Favorite lines:

    - ‘ "That's my real hobby: making it weird," RJ says. ‘

    - ‘ They talk about how Beyoncé is perfection given human form until their burgers arrive. Bitty's is delicious; he makes a noise of pleasure that makes RJ drop a French fry in his soda.

    "Sorry," Bitty says, but he thinks it's funny.

    "I'll live," RJ says, and they go back to eating. ‘

    - ‘ "Tell me about Noora, though!" Bitty encourages her.

    "She's got these tattoos," Lardo says, "and she gets in fights and wins, and she eats more than I do." Her eyes practically have cartoon hearts coming out of them; Bitty is incredibly charmed.

    "She sounds wonderful," he says. "You should bring her by the Haus sometime! I'll bake you both a pie."

    "One each," Lardo says. "Something chocolate."

    "You're on." Bitty smiles. ‘

    - ‘ "What did you want to practice?" Shitty asks, and takes a pull from his Red Bull.

    "I thought you could fuck me," Bitty says, and Shitty spits his energy drink so far that it hits the fridge. "Shitty!" Bitty goes to clean it up.

    "I thought," Shitty says, then, "wouldn't you rather start with handjobs?"

    "I've jerked off before," Bitty says witheringly. "Another guy's dick can't be that different."

    "Fair," Shitty says.

    "And I've fingered myself, too, and I liked that --" Shitty almost chokes on his Red Bull. "Would you stop that? I thought I could tell you anything," Bitty says.

    "You're right, I'm sorry." Shitty sets down his can. "There's nothing wrong with it -- just, the image -- go ahead, bro."

    "Well, I tried that," Bitty goes on, "but fingers aren't..." He huffs out a breath. "I just don't want to be a virgin."

    "Virginity is such an outmoded concept," Shitty says. "Like, the misogyny and phallocentrism --"

    "Shitty," Bitty interrupts him. "I know it's not -- I'm not asking you to deflower me. I want to know what it's like, with someone else, without... stuff getting in the way." ‘

    - ‘ "Let me get the stuff," Shitty says. He reaches behind a book called, of all things, The Turgid Chaos of Masculinity, and pulls out a good-sized bottle of lube and a strip of condoms. ‘

    - ‘ Shitty strokes his hip. "You good, Bits?"

    "Yeah," Bitty breathes. "I'm --" He lowers himself a little more, then more still, until he has all of Shitty's cock inside him, and that's so intense a feeling that he has to close his eyes against Shitty's gaze for a moment. "I'm good," he says, and starts to move in earnest, riding Shitty's cock, Lord, is this really his life?

    Shitty keeps up his "is this porn or NHL highlights?" narration, murmuring, "Drive it in, you can do it, fuck, fuck, this is filthy," and Bitty has to cover his mouth with one hand to keep a laugh from escaping. ‘

    - ‘ "Do you want to talk?" Shitty asks gently.

    "We broke up," Bitty says.

    Shitty exhales heavily. "I'm sorry, bro."

    "Me too. I mean -- I don't know. I wanted it to be different." Bitty does turn around now, to look at Shitty. "You know?"

    "I know," Shitty says. "Wait, you've got --" He reaches out and swipes at Bitty's jaw with his thumb. Almost instinctively, Bitty catches his hand and holds it there. Shitty sucks in a breath, and his eyes get dark, and something in Bitty's chest clicks into place.

    "Oh," he says.

    "What?" Shitty moves his thumb, kind of a caress.

    "He wasn't you," Bitty says.

    "Nobody else is," Shitty says, and Bitty leans forward to kiss him, right in the middle of the Haus kitchen.

    "I'm done practicing," Bitty says, "just to be clear --" and Shitty kisses him like crazy. ‘