thick as a brick wei wuxian
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It’s a really unfortunate thing, developing a crush on your husband. Wei Ying had assumed this would be easy. Lan Zhan had been so icy and unpleasant to him, it had never occurred to him that he might end up spending the next however many years with this dumb, burning feeling in his chest whenever he looks at him.
“Okay,” says Wei Ying. “But tell me if I…if the pretending gets to be too hard, okay?”
“It will not,” says Lan Zhan, quietly certain.
Series
- Part 1 of The Simplest Way Forward
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24 Feb 2020
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❤️The Simplest Way Forward
by harriet_vane
Wangxianficrecs post here. (Archived as series.)Wei Ying attempts to grab him, but Yuan has vanished wherever dropped paper clips and pens go. Wei Ying sits there fuming—if he’s gonna get kicked out of class, he’d like it to at least be his own fault. One of the women in the class giggles and gives him a sympathetic look, which is nice at least. Eventually, Wei Ying reasons, the kid will have to come out from under the table, and then he can grab him.
Except when Yuan pops up, he’s at the head of the table, between Lan Zhan and the teacher. He looks around, sees Wei Ying gesturing furiously for him to come back, and sticks his lower lip out. Yuan bangs on the table a couple of times experimentally. Then he looks up at Lan Zhan.
Well, this is going to be a disaster. Wei Ying grimaces, already starting his apology—“Sorry, I didn’t realize he—” and leaning across the table, when Lan Zhan, still studiously taking notes, simply leans down and swings Yuan up into his lap. He hands the child a pen and a piece of paper, and continues taking his own notes in his immaculate notebook.
What the hell?
“A-Yuan! Come here!” Wei Ying whispers.
“He is fine,” says Lan Zhan, not turning to look at him. Yuan looks up at Lan Zhan, and then at the pen he’s been given, and then at Wei Ying, and shrugs.
Wei Ying feels, like, a bunch of things at once. First of all, he tried flirting at least a dozen times, and never got so much as a raised eyebrow from Lan Zhan, but apparently a four-year-old can just help himself to his lap. That doesn’t seem fair; Wei Ying is also very cute. Second, he’s surprisingly grateful to Lan Zhan for being cool about this, and not a dick like he had expected. Third, he’s irritated that Yuan seems perfectly content over there.
******
Oh. My. Gawd. The dialog in this is award-winning, I'm so fucking in love with the conversations between Lan Zhan and Yuan. Just. Look:
***
“We’re gonna be late,” Yuan whines, picking up his backpack and walking over to the door.“We have made alternative plans,” says Lan Zhan. “We are not late. You must trust that we have made the correct choices.”
That stops Yuan from complaining, but he seems truly puzzled about what it could possibly mean. It’s a big concept for a little kid, Wei Ying thinks. “We don’t go to daycare?” he says eventually, like a question.
“We must stay. Family is the most important,” Lan Zhan says.
“Ohhhh,” says Yuan, nodding. “What about lunch?”
“Family is more important,” Lan Zhan says. “But we will have lunch.”
“More important,” Yuan repeats. “It’s more important,” he tells his teddy bear, unpacking him from the bag.
*******
“Papa says today we get a bunny,” Yuan adds. “After your classes, we can go and find him. We all go together!”
... “I will feed him,” says Yuan, “and I will pet him. He will live with us. We can have a bunny. He eats carrots. He also eats…cereal! And sometimes he eats a giraffe.”
“I don’t think he does,” says Wei Ying, but it’s fairly clear that Yuan isn’t really talking to him anymore.
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it goes like this by moonsteps
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
20 Apr 2020
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Jiang Cheng is staring at him with wide eyes. “You met your soulmate today and didn’t tell me?”
Wei Wuxian stops. “What?” he asks, not quite understanding. “What are you talking about? No, I didn’t?”
“You idiot,” Jiang Cheng spits, holding his hand out to point directly at Wei Wuxian’s wrist. “Your timer!”
Oh.
Wei Wuxian’s eyes dart down, and his heart stops.
Wei Wuxian finds that he has no idea who his soulmate is. Enter Lan Wangji, resident unapproachable genius, who suddenly requests to be his lab partner.
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25 May 2020
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it goes like this
by moonsteps
Wangxianficrecs post here. (Archived.)This is delightful, and also, so funny, because wwx is such an idiot. I should get quotes about the soulmates, but jiang cheng kept butting in, shouting, and it totally reminded me of Austin Powers and the whole sharks with lasers on their heads and the kid yelling to instead, 'just fucking SHOOT them NOW'... and that was jiang cheng through this whole story.
*****
“You know,” Jiang Cheng says, “what I find funny is the fact that you’re more interested in finding out who Lan Wangji’s soulmate is than finding out who your own soulmate is.”
“Shut up,” Wei Wuxian hisses. “I’m just annoyed.”
“Why, because you’re so painstakingly jealous of yourself?”
“I’m not his soulmate!”
Jiang Cheng snorts, spooning his tofu pudding into his mouth. “Sure you’re not. Keep telling yourself that.”
“And I’m not jealous!” Wei Wuxian argues, slapping his palm down onto the table and making it rattle slightly under the pressure.
Jiang Cheng delicately raises an eyebrow, and Wei Wuxian feels a strong urge to rip his face off.
“Okay,” Jiang Cheng says. “Sure. You’re not jealous.” He flattens his forehead lines. “Actually, that’s even more funny than you not realizing that you’re Lan Wangji’s soulmate.”
“Because I’m not his soulmate!” Wei Wuxian says. He’s kind of over this whole thing, if he’s being completely honest.
(He is, in fact, not over this whole thing.)
“Okay,” Jiang Cheng says, “but you wish you were.”
“Fuck you. Yes I do.”
*******
“Enough!” Jiang Cheng bellows. “Are you fucking blind?”
“Don’t be rude!” Wei Wuxian says. “I’m trying to enlighten you! I’m trying to explain my thought process about this whole thing!”
“You fucking idiot,” Jiang Cheng says, throwing his arms up into the air. “You’re the fucking soulmate! Are you serious right now? I can’t believe you called me over for this dumb shit—”
“I’m not!” Wei Wuxian says. “If I was his soulmate, Lan Zhan would have told me already!”
“Even I wouldn’t tell you if I was your soulmate if you were being like this!”
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with you, I am home by tellthemstories
Fandoms: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
27 May 2020
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“I can’t go back home alone, Lan Zhan.”
Wei Wuxian gets a summons to return to Lotus Pier for marriage proposals. To avoid this, he convinces Lan Zhan to come with him and pretend to be his cultivation partner.
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30 May 2020
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❤️with you, I am home
by tellthemstories
Wangxianficrecs post here. (Archived.)“Platonic cultivation partners. Good friends who hunt vengeful spirits together. Sworn brothers.”
“Brothers,” Lan Zhan echoes. Still so impassive, still so calm. Sometimes Wei Wuxian wants to crack him open to see what’s inside. He’s got better over the years at reading Lan Zhan’s micro-expressions and can usually tell what sort of mood he’s in. His thoughts, however, are still a mystery.
“Would it really be so hard?” Wei Wuxian asks, “To pretend to be my cultivation partner? To like me above all others?”
“I already like you above all others.”
And look.
See.
Lan Zhan just has this /way of talking sometimes, this way of stating things like they’re fact and not completely absurd to say out loud. Like Wei Wuxian is ‘the best cultivator’ he knows, or that he ‘doesn’t mind’ spending time with him, or that he ‘likes his laugh’.
No wonder Nie Huaisang said he was an eligible bachelor, Wei Wuxian thinks. Imagine if he was actually trying to flirt with someone.
***
Also, this story hasone of the best cultivation/sword/talisman/magical duels between lwj and wwx EVER and it's iconic in my mind. (Do y'all remember the battle between Merlin and Mad Madam Mim in Disney's The Sword and The Stone? It's like that one.)
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Track star Wei Ying finds the positive side of his leg injury when it offers the perfect opportunity to befriend his physical therapist roommate Lan Zhan.
Or modern AU where Lan Zhan seduces Wei Ying with medical massages.
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02 Feb 2021
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F.U.N Run
by malkinmalkout
Wangxianficrecs post here. (Archived.)In which wei wuxian kind of seduces himself by getting all up in lan wangji's space and getting high on all the touching and the allowances that lwj makes for him. Loads of UST, poor horny wwx. Poor long-suffering friends who have to witness these two gay, pining disasters. Poor lwj, pretending he's being professional about it all.
*** This bit made me laugh so hard, it just sums wwx's shamelessness up in a nutshell:
Lan Zhan immediately goes to Wei Ying’s side the moment Nie Mingjue lets him into the examination room, scanning Wei Ying up and down for any additional injuries that might have occurred in the half-hour he was out of eyesight.
Enjoying the attention, Wei Ying rubs at the back of his head where Nie Mingjue hit him with his clipboard.
Lan Zhan’s eyes narrow at the gesture.
Before Wei Ying can pretend to have a concussion, Nie Mingjue clears his throat and raises an unamused eyebrow at Wei Ying as though he can read his thoughts.
***
Determined to get the most out of his friendship deal with Lan Zhan and to see his friends while so many of them are free, Wei Ying instantly steers them towards the location Wen Qing sent, complaining that he needs another rest amongst nature to help balance his yang qi for healing.
Not calling Wei Ying out on his bullshit, Lan Zhan lets himself be forced into socialising with an aura of an old god who has undergone countless heavenly tribulations and is now numb to all of life’s trials.
Wei Ying is overjoyed to note that Lan Zhan can be just as dramatic as him in his own special way.
***
At the same times he cannot stop thinking about Nie Huaisang and Wen Ning’s assumption - that he and Lan Zhan are dating.
The very idea is preposterous. If Lan Zhan were to date anyone it would be a pure Gusu raised woman who knows all the Lan Clan’s rules, believes in waking up at five every morning to meditate, thinks Lan Qiren’s moustache is handsome, and believes in abstinence until death. There is no way Lan Zhan would ever consider Wei Ying as a romantic option. It took him years to befriend the man; romance would - simply put - be impossible.
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i'm the one for your fire by occultings (microcomets)
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
29 Mar 2021
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Wei Ying, virgin and noted heterosexual, gets hit with a curse of an unusual nature on his 30th birthday: Through physical contact, he can read the minds of others around him.
Enter Lan Zhan, hot former rival and current coworker, whose true thoughts about Wei Ying are nothing like he expects.
(A loose Cherry Magic AU.)
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04 Jul 2021
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❤️i'm the one for your fire
by occultings (microcomets)
Wangxianficrecs post here. (Archived.)Ah, tropelicious! It just serves up everything you could want: involuntary mind reading, sexual fantasies, gay awakenings, veerry insecure wei wuxian and his self esteem issues, very hot sexytimes at the end. *chef's kiss*
***
Is he still cold? Should I offer my other coat? He will say no if I ask him directly. Does he run cold when he sleeps? I have spare blankets if he
Wei Ying quickly moves his arm away. A ridiculous, flustered warmth has risen to his face, tingling against the cold.
It is rapidly becoming evident that, in a horrible turn of events, Lan Zhan may actually be a decent person in addition to being beautiful and very competent at his job.
This cannot stand, Wei Ying thinks, very put out by this discovery. It ruins the whole — their whole thing if Lan Zhan secretly doesn’t hate him.
***
It’s just that — if they’re friends, then there’s no — there’s no friendly way to think about gagging someone and tying them up, right? With clothes or without, but the without does seem significant here. Wei Ying may be a virgin, but he’s definitely no prudish, innocent maiden. If Lan Zhan considers them friends, then that means — when he’d been thinking those things earlier, it means
It doesn’t bear thinking about. It’s not even a possibility.