AverageEboy
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Recent works
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under construction by AverageEboy
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Original Work, im not tagging the rest there's just too many, besides they don't matter so who cares
14 Sep 2023
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Summary
You’d think a stranger coming into your house through a non-existent door would be concerning. Maybe it would. But Y/N was not like the other girls (it was unclear if they were a gilr or not. When asked about their gender, Y/N’s answers ranged from “maybe” to “cold tuna”) so they simply stared at the intruder with the look of an underpaid customer service worker.
The intruder just.. existed(?) in the kitchen now. It was unclear if they were actually a person. maybe Y/N was actually going crazy from the grief they suffered after The Accincdednt.
In lieu of anything better to do, Y/N decided to look closer at the thing/person/fpenomenon in front of them. It certainly had some qualities of an object that exists! It had blond hair, and eyes, and the general shape of a person. Except for its hands, which were abnormally long and sharp. Honestly such a vibe.
- or -
Y/N gets fucked up by eldritch forces (Michael) and meets god (Sans Undertale). more news at twelve.
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
The universe Bruce wakes up in has superheroes, aliens and, somewhat more strangely, it also has four children living in Wayne Manor.
Bruce Wayne is almost forty. He's been an innovator, a philanthropist and GQ's Most Wanted twelve years counting. He doesn't remember being a dad. But now that he is, he's going to be the best dad one could possibly be.
Or: Batman is a dick. AU-Bruce saves the day.
Series
- Part 1 of The French Mistake(s)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,791
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 102
- Comments:
- 1,186
- Kudos:
- 22,310
- Bookmarks:
- 6,080
- Hits:
- 187,873
Bookmarked by AverageEboy
25 Sep 2025
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Summary
“No, you don’t understand,” Wayne cut in, gesturing back at the abandoned warehouse at the edge of the taped-off scene. “These–kidnapping attempts–always start out the same way. Remove the clothes. Humiliate the victim. Make them feel powerless, so they’re less likely to fight back. Remove all sense of their personality so they’re more likely to comply–”
Jim tuned out his rant slightly, examining the small bats on Wayne’s boxers. Ignoring the fact that no underwear was meant to be worn that tight, the tiny decorations were almost…familiar.
“–well, guess what, kidnappers?” Wayne punctuated his point with a jab of his hand, gesturing at his underwear. “I don’t feel powerless. My personality is right here–-”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,673
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 342
- Kudos:
- 17,953
- Bookmarks:
- 2,805
- Hits:
- 107,087
Bookmarked by AverageEboy
04 Sep 2025
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Summary
When Harry Potter murdered Professor Quirinus Quirrell by burning the man with his bare hands, Headmaster Dumbledore awarded him 60 points, winning Gryffindor the house cup. While the scent of burning flesh still lingered in his nostrils, the Headmaster told Harry it was his mother's love that made blisters appear under his touch, made blood boil and fat melt, and that this was a beautiful thing.
That summer, whenever he awakened from nightmares filled with the screams of a dying man, blistered and cracked skin, eyes leaking more than just tears, he thought back on the Headmasters reassuring words and let them convince him what he did wasn’t bad at all.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,206
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 192
- Kudos:
- 4,394
- Bookmarks:
- 989
- Hits:
- 37,819
Bookmarked by AverageEboy
28 Aug 2025
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Summary
In which the Sorting is less of a choice between Dark and Light and more of a fashion statement, Gryffindors are more than reckless, bumbling fools, and Slytherins aren't the only ones playing politics.
Because you didn't actually believe that life is so straightforward as to be defined solely by the colour of a tie, did you? Hidden in plain sight, in the one house they least expected, Harry Potter becomes what he was always meant to be.
Hogwarts beware, the Dark Lord's equal is rising!
Series
- Part 1 of War is for Children
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,883
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 23
- Comments:
- 352
- Kudos:
- 5,511
- Bookmarks:
- 1,165
- Hits:
- 80,154
Bookmarked by AverageEboy
25 Aug 2025
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The Speaker and His Wraiths by ATiredAndDeadWriter
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Sep 2024
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Summary
In a world where Harry Potter chooses to seek his own answers instead of waiting around for Dumbledore, everything is different.
Harry and his friends at Hogwarts must prepare for the inevitable war, choosing sides and creating their own paths. Will they be able to manage it?
Series
- Part 1 of The Revolutionary Speaker
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 189,964
- Chapters:
- 69/69
- Collections:
- 29
- Comments:
- 4,782
- Kudos:
- 8,995
- Bookmarks:
- 2,557
- Hits:
- 350,584
Bookmarked by AverageEboy
21 Aug 2025