Juminhanswine
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Summary
Five years after the war, Hermione Granger has very little time for something like a relationship. She's far too busy trying to run the Bureau for Endangered Creatures efficiently, dealing with budget cuts and ignorant ministry officials and finding a way to somehow restore her parents' memories, who are still in Australia and none the wiser about the existence of their daughter.
When she discovers that the Wizengamot plans to use Draco Malfoy as a scapegoat whilst dealing with elusive Voldemort loyalists, she offers to testify for him. She's not quite sure how it led to her trying on wedding dresses under the watchful eye of Narcissa Malfoy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 320,000
- Chapters:
- 34/34
- Collections:
- 19
- Comments:
- 3,132
- Kudos:
- 10,698
- Bookmarks:
- 3,876
- Hits:
- 548,570
Bookmarked by Juminhanswine
01 Aug 2025
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Summary
On Wednesday, October 15th, at exactly twelve minutes past seven in the evening, Hermione Granger died.
On that same Wednesday, October 15th, at exactly twelve minutes past seven in the evening, Theodore Nott was pronounced dead after being discovered on the floor of his potions shop.
Two minutes later, at fourteen minutes past seven, the diagnostic above Hermione Granger’s head detected a heartbeat, while the one above Theodore Nott remained silent.
So why, when she opened her eyes, did she find him glaring at her? How was she going to get rid of him? And, most curiously of all, how did Draco Malfoy become the only person she trusted to help her figure it out?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 152,281
- Chapters:
- 30/30
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 2,938
- Kudos:
- 1,408
- Bookmarks:
- 698
- Hits:
- 55,187
Bookmarked by Juminhanswine
27 Jul 2025
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Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,169
- Kudos:
- 27,045
- Bookmarks:
- 10,700
- Hits:
- 1,541,155
Bookmarked by Juminhanswine
18 Jun 2025
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Guess I’ll Call Everyone Dude and Bro Now by DucksinSuits
Fandoms: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
16 Sep 2025
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Summary
Yuu was fine with the situation, honestly. Being brought to a school against her will? At least they fed her. She was even given a place to stay- in a ramshackle, literally, but she could manage!
Everything was fine.
Until she was somehow enrolled into Night Raven College. The only problem? She’s a girl.
Aka: Yuu gets mistaken for a boy and is enrolled into Night Raven College. Ouran Shenanigans ensue.
*The relationship tags are the most prominent*
CH: 1-18 - HEARTSLABYUL ARC
CH: 19-35 - SAVANACLAW ARC
CH: 37-54 + 70-90 - SCHOOL PLAY / OCTAVINELLE ARC
CH: 55-69 - BAD END ARC [optional]
CH: 92-109 - SCARABIA ARC
CH: 110-120 - FAIRY GALA ARC
CH: 122-158 - POMEFIORE ARC
CH: 159-211 - IGNIHYDE ARC
CH: 212-CURRENT - GLORIOUS MASQUERADE ARC
Series
- Part 1 of Twounderland
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 475,086
- Chapters:
- 240/?
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 4,571
- Kudos:
- 5,829
- Bookmarks:
- 954
- Hits:
- 306,798
Bookmarked by Juminhanswine
15 Apr 2025
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MAN OF THE YEAR | YUJI I. by CHINA DOLL (thesstarboy)
Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)
25 Nov 2024
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Summary
"Nigga, I'm the life of the beat. Fuck that, this year gotta eat."
Added as a last resort to restore Jujutsu High's once glorious basketball team, Yuji's natural talent did nothing to overshadow his naivety and his inexperience that eventually turned the whole team against him within the first 5 minutes of his first game.
After a crushing defeat that crushed not only his body, but his spirit as well, dread followed him wherever he went along with an underlying sense of uselessness. He knew could get better, he knew he had the ability to. He just needed someone to entrust faith in him, particularly a quiet female manager known as 'Spine'-short for 'Spine Breaker'.
Why was she called that? He'll find out.
TW: cursing, bullying, a little bit of angst in the beginning but mostly fluff, extreme exercise, food/nutrition policing.
[BASKETBALL PLAYER!YUJI X BLACK!READER]Bookmarked by Juminhanswine
14 Nov 2023